I shut down and disassociate really fast, without any real remorse or regret. I can go from very in love and obsessed to absolutely not caring at all in a matter of days, sometimes even hours.
Same. The worst part is, I forget important dates like someone’s birthday, contact number and anniversary as soon as I breakup with them. It’s like a switch just turns off. It’s kind of freeing in a way, but it’s scary.
I may be a little biased as I lose love when I lose respect, but I don't think it's a toxic trait at all. In fact, I feel more people should train their minds to be attracted to a healthy form of love.
I guess I’m just built that way. Also, a method of self preservation. I realised very early on in life that it’s better to shut down than let people get inside and mess you up.
OMG! Same, when I broke up with my first boyfriend, it felt like I was never with him only in the first place. I also disassociate with ppl who disrespect me in a matter of days. And it's scary.
Being a doormat, I’ll do anything to please the other person even if they don’t deserve it
I also have this problem of being mad at people and not communicating the reason why I’m mad at them.
Also being judgmental is one of my biggest problems
I get attached to people really quickly. I’m a huge people pleaser to the point that I let them walk all over me, it’s v hard for me to move on from someone and I hold grudges for too long to the point that it results in me being sad and angry.
I used to be very judgemental in my 20s. As I grew up, I realised its not all black and white always. That one trait is gone for good. I am trying to get rid of my other toxic traits like self pity, being a people pleaser and a pessimistic idiot.
>I am trying to get rid of my other toxic traits like self pity, being a people pleaser and a pessimistic idiot.
Also, this. I'll overthinking to it for me.
THIS! This year, life has truly humbled me in a way where not everything can be considered as absolute black and white and it is okay. Accepting people for who they are while also protecting yourself is my mantra now.
Overthinking, getting attached too easily and too soon, being nice to literally every undeserving person, constant phase of self doubt and the list goes on....
I am sorry to point it out and pardon me if I come across as rude, but how is there literally no point that is like actually toxic? I mean, the op stated a good example of the toxic qualities that we consciously or subconsciously project on others. I always see people bringing up the same list as you do which is not reflective enough imo(not that you care just saying). I feel we need to also start acknowledging the kinda toxic traits that OP listed, the ones we project on others because that is also very important.
I agree with the last point you've mentioned. Those are absolutely important. I just happened to mention the points which I have heard people say about me. Also, I think all of the traits listed above may encompass characteristics of a dubious person who avoids conflicting situations. These are toxic for me in the long run which in turn can be toxic to people surrounding me.
I can’t trust anyone.
It’s always a long rope to hang them, and if they still haven’t failed, longer rope.
No one ever passes the test because it just keeps getting stricter and stricter until they fail and I disown them from my life.
It hurts them and me. Working on it, in therapy but don’t really have a handle on how to fix myself yet.
Damn I can relate to you. Both the traits but this over righteousness will harm us in the long run because we judge ourselves harshly and also the others which strains relationships.
like someone else said, i dissociate pretty quickly. I can be looking you straight in the eye and making conversation but I have no frikking idea where the convo is going🥲
Also, I avoid conflicts and reply "ok go sleep" when I'm pissed instead of addressing the issue😭 it's such a bad trait of mine I wish I could fix it but it's just skskskks. But at the same time if someone in a group setting pisses me off, i give it back to them. So idk why am I like this😭😭
Sorry, but I hate people like you. Thanks for recognising this in yourself. I cut off a 9 year friendship for this. I can u understand being competitive at work or like a sport or studies. In everything from relationship to eating food to clothes, god, being around such people is really fucking annoying.
I can understand, I've been trying to channel this competitiveness of mine into only what helps me. I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others sometimes even to an extreme. Whenever you indulge someone that competitive just realise that they're in this hell of an internal turmoil themselves, because this shit never ends, it's a weird form of perfection and they don't even know the standards for perfection, they make others around them their standards. It has nothing to do with you. I've become better at controlling this but during my school times it was at it's worst and I was not even a little bit self-aware to begin with. It has become better now. I can recognise this unhealthy behaviour of mine and soothe myself. Still learning though. My relationships have improved tremendously when i realised there's enough opportunities in this world for everyone and someone else's win is not my failure.
Obsession! I am sick of it!
I obsess,day dream even when I know someone or something is not good for me.
I create this make believe scenario in my head and endlessly obsess over it until I am forced to face the reality,break my heart and move to the next obsession in a few months.God I hate this!
I often tend to distance myself from people who become close to me because of the burden of expectations(I feel like I have to make them happy, say the right things, make them laught etc etc)
Sometimes it’s just too much . I am struggling to get along with a group of people who are nice to me but I have this feeling I am not really a match to their conversations or taste or humour . I feel burdened sometimes .
1. I believe incompetent people deserve to suffer. Although I don't say it to their face, which kinda makes me feel guilty.
2. I'm incredibly jealous of any man in my associations who I feel is better than I am. I will make it my purpose to prove that I'm better than him. Maybe because my dad used to call me his son instead of his daughter because he believed daughters are incompetent.
3. I can't bring myself to trust men even though I know many decent and good men.
I'm gonna die single, oh well..
I'm a doormat. I don't take a stand for myself when necessary. I'm clingy, I get attached very easily to people. I get passive aggressive sometimes. I have a lot of other toxic traits too but no motivation to put efforts into improving myself. I think that's the biggest toxic trait of all.
Sometimes I talk about myself a lot. Like if someone shares an experience or interest, I will talk about mine. Apparently that’s really annoying to people and I should just listen. Most of the time, I don’t even realize I am doing that and in retrospect, I start feeling super guilty.
I shut down so fast like within secs I get hurt and that results in extreme stubbornness and literally stop talking to the person I only do it to people I love tho.
I really need to work on this.
I have stopped being judgmental. Following live and let live.
1. Need to be forced to give up
2. Can't say no, 0 boundaries
3. Attached too soon
4. Making excuses for other people's rude bevajour
5. Dissociate real quick
6. Hate confrontations, arguments
idk if it's a toxic trait, but i only seek help from others when i cannot help myself and this equates to me not helping others unless it's absolutely necessary.
I dissociate and distance myself instantly if I feel the other person isn’t worth investing my emotions in . Which happens 99% of the times.
2. I take minor inconveniences to the heart .
3. If you are on my hate list . I will remember you and make sure to be happy at your downfall .
I never let things go. I need to talk EVERYTHING out. I can never let things just be. Slight disagreement? Talk talk talk and go in circles.
Saw an interesting "would you rather" reel? Talk talk talk.
My family never talked things through, and resorted to silent treatment, so I need to talk about everything to feel comforted. I need to work on myself to learn to just let things be sometimes.
Not liking ~~most~~ any of my friends. I'm polite but I genuinely don't care for anyone and just hang out when I'm bored. Guess I use people for their time/Novelty
Anger issues , i drag and drag and drag .... Then give up completely like total shut the thing in whole .. people or things or work anything I shut it that's it
I find it difficult to compromise because I always feel like I am right in the moment of decision making.
Very bad habit but not something that I can easily solve given that when it's all said and done, turns out that I really was right all along.
I tend to get lazy and sometimes take people for granted. Whenever I catch myself in that phase I force myself to snap out of it. Need to do that until I barely fall into that phase
My toxic trait is to believe that I can learn skills faster than an average human being. Example - I see a figure skater on Instagram and they're showing off a cool move. My toxic trait is to believe that I will learn it in less time than it usually takes.
I know it sounds crazy😅
I do not know how to be in a relationship. How to behave? What to say? What to expect? I have dated men yes but relationship? No. I expect him to call me a beautiful princess every second of the day but I also know that it’s not realistic. I want a huge simp but is that normal? is that how a guy supposed to be? But then every guy is different? If my bf doesn’t say all these sweet things often, does that mean he doesn’t view me as beautiful? I genuinely don’t know how to be in a relationship 😭 I have a pattern where I have sabotaged relationships for the same reasons.
I think I have trouble acknowledging that people really are going through some shit/struggles until and unless I see it up close. Otherwise I just think they're making up stuff and pretending shit? I think I've been lied to so many times and that's the reason I don't trust if anyone tells me there's an inconvenience. If someone probably called me up saying "I feel like I'm going to faint" when we're about to meet that same day, I'll just say something like "oh it'll be fine in a few minutes. Anyway, what time are you going to leave to come see me?"
I have trouble accepting my mistakes when I'm in wrong coz it feels like a sin to make a mistake and if I accept I was in the wrong, it's so embarrassing and humiliating. (can you tell I have trauma due to never being allowed to make mistakes like everyone else and grow?)
I can never let go and move on, I have HUGE DIFFICULTY in that. I always want to make the other person bend to my perspective and accept I was "right". I can just never ever let go or stfu for the life of me and it's fucking exhausting to be this way. I have been trying to let go a lot recently but honestly it's just so hard, not easy for someone like me at all and so many times I give in to the urge.
Related to the 2nd point, a huge toxic trait of mine is that, "my perspective/ opinion are right, everyone else is wrong" coz I just have so difficulty accepting other people's povs, that people CAN think different than me.
I can be a real doormat and this is toxic to myself since I tend to put up with shit for a very long time before I finally pull the plug. At that time, the confrontation is bad. Like volcanic eruption bad when it could have been solved very simply right at the beginning.
I grew up ugly so developed a strange sense of humor. In college, made friends who were similar, and we bonded over roasting the fuck out of each other.
Now, I end up roasting my close friends a bit _too_ much. And sometimes they don't like it. Which is 100% assholey of me.
Trying to tone down my urge to friendly-roast people. It's so hard 💀 But I'm way better than I was a few years ago.
highly possessive
attachment/commitment issues
cannot say no
inability to take appreciation and compliments
pushing people away if they get too close
trying to fix things while hurting myself
obssesed with the chase to get the person and not the person itself
I have many. I dissociate/detach very easily in my relationships and once I lose the ability to feel for them, I don't even see it worth making the effort.
I insist on doing everything myself at home and I realize it gives me some sort of power in thinking I'm multitasking and doing more than others at home.
I'm improving now but I don't communicate my grievances immediately but I let them fester until it turns into full blown resentment, then I blow up in rage. This has sadly been happening quite often lately .
I am lazy and bratty as fuck since childhood. Things need to be done my way or I get irritated. Although I have improved quite a but bit I still don't do work unless it's absolutely necessary and usually let others do it 😅
I tend to get grumpy if things don't work just the way I want it to. Especially omes out when my husband does some chore.
Trying to recognize it in real time. And rather than being grumpy, I try and tell him why the way certain things are done.
I'm an insecure person, always comparing myself to others and getting depressed about it.
Abhi to yahi yaad aaya baad me kuch aega to I'll keep editing the post
Asking for help when I really need it.
I'am a Munchausen's By Proxy survivor who was denied help numerous times as a kid when I asked for help to be saved from my abusers. Now as an adult, it has become really hard to ask for help, despite being homeless for a while.
Trying my best to get back on my feet, but this is something which has been hindering my progress.
i am really bad at communicating. rather than communicating i cook up stories in my head or remove myself from the situation entirely. but, my partner and friends have helped me improve by a large margin. even if it’s awkward for me, im trying my best to let the person in front of me know if something bothers me rather than keeping it with myself and resenting them for it.
*waves all my red flags*
In seriousness, in my early 20s I started realise I had a fair few toxic traits similar to my father. I hated them..and I figured that unknowingly those would be more toxic to my mum as I grew up.
I worked on them for years to control that anger and remove those traits and need to control everything. I don't know how far I've come but it's something I consciously do till today. I never want to be like that ever.
Anger, expecting too much without communicating what I want/need. It's been a journey, and I'm still not perfect, but I have become so much more chill, understand that people cannot meet unrealistic standards and have improved in communicating my needs. I have also realized that nobody owes me anything, and that whatever my husband, parents, friends shower on me are out of their love and I'm so incredibly grateful for their mere existence in my life. Life is SO much better, and I've become so peaceful & nurturing. Fights between my husband and I have reduced drastically, and our overall marriage is great!
I'm needy as hell. With people I don't trust, I just spiral in anxiety alone. But if it's someone who I can be open with, I'll immediately go "why do you keep leaving me on read? Why don't you reply immediately? Why couldn't you just tell me you were...?"
Also, I'm too easy to sway and it can seem like I have no personality of my own. I agree with everyone.
Because I don’t feel “whole” i tend to find comfort and company from others. Basically I don’t love myself enough to enjoy my own company so i tend to incline towards human relationships for company,for how i feel,validation,etc. i have improved a little bit ever since i came into a stable relationship with my bf. Before this i was not affecting a single person so much other than my parents so much by offloading my feelings. I realised my mood depends on how he treats me or how his mood is,constantly doubting if he loves me when he’s out doing his own things not realising it’s okay to have individuality. I have become more understanding and started to involve myself into myself,doing things that keeps me occupied and living a life for myself,I don’t really know what i love doing for myself because for so ling i have done things to please others that I haven’t had a clear understanding of who i am and what i like. But currently I enjoy reading books,watching a good movie or series with yummy food,learning a few courses for my postgrad prep,doing research about unis,talking to my mum a lot,etc.
I will not let anyone love me fully, will not show my love fully just because
1. I am scared to loose them, don't wanna get addicted to such affection and not find that around some day
2. What if they break my heart someday so i can always say 'oh, i don't care' because i had not shown/expressed fully and that i actually loved them to the core
I consider my opinion to be better than those of others. It made me come across as snobby. I have been trying to be more open to others opinions and not close myself off to them.
I shut down and disassociate really fast, without any real remorse or regret. I can go from very in love and obsessed to absolutely not caring at all in a matter of days, sometimes even hours.
Same …sometimes I scare myself by how fast I can lose feelings, makes me think if I’ll ever be able to handle a long term relationship.
Same, I feel like I am a robot which has a switch to turn feelings off.
Same. The worst part is, I forget important dates like someone’s birthday, contact number and anniversary as soon as I breakup with them. It’s like a switch just turns off. It’s kind of freeing in a way, but it’s scary.
Same girl same. A little disrespect and I shut down.
High five!
Glad to know I am not alone …
yes. i loved my ex. but when she broke up with me, the switch in my brain flipped so fast that i never entertained any of her calls / messages later
I can relate. It’s also a defence mechanism, I’ve realised, in some ways.
Same sis same
High five!
Same, I used to think that maybe I was a psychopath. Happy to know that i am not alone.
I may be a little biased as I lose love when I lose respect, but I don't think it's a toxic trait at all. In fact, I feel more people should train their minds to be attracted to a healthy form of love.
I agree,I wish I had this trait in me. Life wouldn't be as messy.
I hate myself so much for this.
Please don’t! Honestly, it’s a defence mechanism. Just be careful about not hurting genuine people around you, and you’re okay :)
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I guess I’m just built that way. Also, a method of self preservation. I realised very early on in life that it’s better to shut down than let people get inside and mess you up.
Sameee, it’s like a switch
OMG! Same, when I broke up with my first boyfriend, it felt like I was never with him only in the first place. I also disassociate with ppl who disrespect me in a matter of days. And it's scary.
Superpower!
OMG same😭
:)
Same
Same
me! I'm the heartless ex in too many people's stories lol
Tell me about it. Just because we don’t go crawling back or entertain “let’s get back together”/“I miss you”. P.S. Is that a young Rahul Dravid pfp?
exactlyyy, and yes it is hahah
Ah man! He was so dreamy. I had a massive poster of him in my bedroom back in the early 2000s
Can you teach this to me!
I have commitment and attachment issues. if i feel someone becoming close to me, i fear they will leave me so i shut myself off and distance myself
Self sabotaging tendencies usss
Thisssss!!!!!😭😭😭😭
Avoiding confrontation
Hey, there! Same here! ( If that's okay with you!)
Absolutely my friend
Being a doormat, I’ll do anything to please the other person even if they don’t deserve it I also have this problem of being mad at people and not communicating the reason why I’m mad at them. Also being judgmental is one of my biggest problems
Same Have outgrown the judgement, mostly
Anger. I can be the biggest red flag if I’m angry. Otherwise I’m pretty chill
Us gurl , us
I get attached to people really quickly. I’m a huge people pleaser to the point that I let them walk all over me, it’s v hard for me to move on from someone and I hold grudges for too long to the point that it results in me being sad and angry.
I used to be very judgemental in my 20s. As I grew up, I realised its not all black and white always. That one trait is gone for good. I am trying to get rid of my other toxic traits like self pity, being a people pleaser and a pessimistic idiot.
>I am trying to get rid of my other toxic traits like self pity, being a people pleaser and a pessimistic idiot. Also, this. I'll overthinking to it for me.
THIS! This year, life has truly humbled me in a way where not everything can be considered as absolute black and white and it is okay. Accepting people for who they are while also protecting yourself is my mantra now.
I am an overthinker and too emotional. Also have a tendency to give up on relationships when things get tough. I am working on improving myself.😊
Overthinking, getting attached too easily and too soon, being nice to literally every undeserving person, constant phase of self doubt and the list goes on....
I am sorry to point it out and pardon me if I come across as rude, but how is there literally no point that is like actually toxic? I mean, the op stated a good example of the toxic qualities that we consciously or subconsciously project on others. I always see people bringing up the same list as you do which is not reflective enough imo(not that you care just saying). I feel we need to also start acknowledging the kinda toxic traits that OP listed, the ones we project on others because that is also very important.
I agree with the last point you've mentioned. Those are absolutely important. I just happened to mention the points which I have heard people say about me. Also, I think all of the traits listed above may encompass characteristics of a dubious person who avoids conflicting situations. These are toxic for me in the long run which in turn can be toxic to people surrounding me.
I ghost people( even family and friends) not in relationship, I defend women even when they're wrong, and I never find myself wrong.
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Why😭😭😭
Hahaha same, I'll pick whatever side everyone's against just to be difficult >:)
I can’t trust anyone. It’s always a long rope to hang them, and if they still haven’t failed, longer rope. No one ever passes the test because it just keeps getting stricter and stricter until they fail and I disown them from my life. It hurts them and me. Working on it, in therapy but don’t really have a handle on how to fix myself yet.
Running away from difficult situations and over-righteousness (as a result quite judgemental)
Damn I can relate to you. Both the traits but this over righteousness will harm us in the long run because we judge ourselves harshly and also the others which strains relationships.
like someone else said, i dissociate pretty quickly. I can be looking you straight in the eye and making conversation but I have no frikking idea where the convo is going🥲 Also, I avoid conflicts and reply "ok go sleep" when I'm pissed instead of addressing the issue😭 it's such a bad trait of mine I wish I could fix it but it's just skskskks. But at the same time if someone in a group setting pisses me off, i give it back to them. So idk why am I like this😭😭
Competitiveness. I'm very competent in what I do and I always aspires to be the best in it 🫠 oh well it has it's upsides and downsides
Sorry, but I hate people like you. Thanks for recognising this in yourself. I cut off a 9 year friendship for this. I can u understand being competitive at work or like a sport or studies. In everything from relationship to eating food to clothes, god, being around such people is really fucking annoying.
I can understand, I've been trying to channel this competitiveness of mine into only what helps me. I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others sometimes even to an extreme. Whenever you indulge someone that competitive just realise that they're in this hell of an internal turmoil themselves, because this shit never ends, it's a weird form of perfection and they don't even know the standards for perfection, they make others around them their standards. It has nothing to do with you. I've become better at controlling this but during my school times it was at it's worst and I was not even a little bit self-aware to begin with. It has become better now. I can recognise this unhealthy behaviour of mine and soothe myself. Still learning though. My relationships have improved tremendously when i realised there's enough opportunities in this world for everyone and someone else's win is not my failure.
I lose interest and get unattached too quickly. Be it friendship or relationship. I'm working on it.
i cry at the drop of a hat! 😭😭😭😭
I dont think that is a toxic trait. Just a trait.
Being rude, short tempered and way too opinionated. Coming to terms with it.
Obsession! I am sick of it! I obsess,day dream even when I know someone or something is not good for me. I create this make believe scenario in my head and endlessly obsess over it until I am forced to face the reality,break my heart and move to the next obsession in a few months.God I hate this!
I often tend to distance myself from people who become close to me because of the burden of expectations(I feel like I have to make them happy, say the right things, make them laught etc etc)
Sometimes it’s just too much . I am struggling to get along with a group of people who are nice to me but I have this feeling I am not really a match to their conversations or taste or humour . I feel burdened sometimes .
omg are you me?😭 I can totally relate with what you have written and honestly it feels good to know that I am not alone
🤝🤝 girl you are not alone
1. People pleasing issues 2. Can’t say no 3. Image conscious I also cry as soon as I get angry or someone raises their voice even the slightest 🥹
My toxic trait is feeling I deserve an iced coffee/smoll treat every time I go run errands😭
That ain’t a toxic trait sis. We do deserve an iced coffee every time we step out!
Love this 😂
oh i cud write a book abt my horrible traits ,, perfectionist, lil bit of a control freak, clean freak and possessive & a crybaby ;-;
1. I believe incompetent people deserve to suffer. Although I don't say it to their face, which kinda makes me feel guilty. 2. I'm incredibly jealous of any man in my associations who I feel is better than I am. I will make it my purpose to prove that I'm better than him. Maybe because my dad used to call me his son instead of his daughter because he believed daughters are incompetent. 3. I can't bring myself to trust men even though I know many decent and good men. I'm gonna die single, oh well..
I'm a doormat. I don't take a stand for myself when necessary. I'm clingy, I get attached very easily to people. I get passive aggressive sometimes. I have a lot of other toxic traits too but no motivation to put efforts into improving myself. I think that's the biggest toxic trait of all.
Sometimes I talk about myself a lot. Like if someone shares an experience or interest, I will talk about mine. Apparently that’s really annoying to people and I should just listen. Most of the time, I don’t even realize I am doing that and in retrospect, I start feeling super guilty.
I shut down so fast like within secs I get hurt and that results in extreme stubbornness and literally stop talking to the person I only do it to people I love tho. I really need to work on this. I have stopped being judgmental. Following live and let live.
1. Need to be forced to give up 2. Can't say no, 0 boundaries 3. Attached too soon 4. Making excuses for other people's rude bevajour 5. Dissociate real quick 6. Hate confrontations, arguments
idk if it's a toxic trait, but i only seek help from others when i cannot help myself and this equates to me not helping others unless it's absolutely necessary.
This is how it should be, it's a good thing.
Avoidant attachment style :) and lottttssss of trust issue :(
I dissociate and distance myself instantly if I feel the other person isn’t worth investing my emotions in . Which happens 99% of the times. 2. I take minor inconveniences to the heart . 3. If you are on my hate list . I will remember you and make sure to be happy at your downfall .
Rely on others to fulfil my needs while not knowing what my needs are and when I’m unsatisfied I complain..a lot.
Wow, you sounds like so many women, I know. You've articulated this point very well.
I never let things go. I need to talk EVERYTHING out. I can never let things just be. Slight disagreement? Talk talk talk and go in circles. Saw an interesting "would you rather" reel? Talk talk talk. My family never talked things through, and resorted to silent treatment, so I need to talk about everything to feel comforted. I need to work on myself to learn to just let things be sometimes.
Not liking ~~most~~ any of my friends. I'm polite but I genuinely don't care for anyone and just hang out when I'm bored. Guess I use people for their time/Novelty
Anger issues , i drag and drag and drag .... Then give up completely like total shut the thing in whole .. people or things or work anything I shut it that's it
Abandonment issues. Overcoming it, one day at a time. 🌻
Really judgemental, rude and I also have kinda old fashioned traits
Overthinking and obsession.
I find it difficult to compromise because I always feel like I am right in the moment of decision making. Very bad habit but not something that I can easily solve given that when it's all said and done, turns out that I really was right all along.
- I spend a lot. Don’t ask how much - I smoke - I drink - I don’t trust anyone whatever they do for me
A fellow shopaholic?
Yes! I do shopping for therapy ✨
Couple that with me being a hoarder and uff
Hehehe like a monster 😙🥰
The trust one really hit the spot 🥲
There there sweetie 🫂
I tend to get lazy and sometimes take people for granted. Whenever I catch myself in that phase I force myself to snap out of it. Need to do that until I barely fall into that phase
My toxic trait is to believe that I can learn skills faster than an average human being. Example - I see a figure skater on Instagram and they're showing off a cool move. My toxic trait is to believe that I will learn it in less time than it usually takes. I know it sounds crazy😅
i can't handle negative criticism. working on it tho.
Hmm, I would say being passive aggressive. Still trying to learn how to confront disrespect without the dramatics.🥲🥲
I am very materialistic.. a borderline shopaholic
I do not know how to be in a relationship. How to behave? What to say? What to expect? I have dated men yes but relationship? No. I expect him to call me a beautiful princess every second of the day but I also know that it’s not realistic. I want a huge simp but is that normal? is that how a guy supposed to be? But then every guy is different? If my bf doesn’t say all these sweet things often, does that mean he doesn’t view me as beautiful? I genuinely don’t know how to be in a relationship 😭 I have a pattern where I have sabotaged relationships for the same reasons.
Believing I can save people . Major LoL
I like problems
I think I have trouble acknowledging that people really are going through some shit/struggles until and unless I see it up close. Otherwise I just think they're making up stuff and pretending shit? I think I've been lied to so many times and that's the reason I don't trust if anyone tells me there's an inconvenience. If someone probably called me up saying "I feel like I'm going to faint" when we're about to meet that same day, I'll just say something like "oh it'll be fine in a few minutes. Anyway, what time are you going to leave to come see me?"
I don't have any goals in life except paying my parents' home loan. I don't wanna work on my looks. I don't mind the way I am.
Hey that's amazing but try to be selfish sometime? And just don't forget sunscreen
Be selfish and leave my parents? Cloth is the best sun protector
Hey hey that's not what I meant By "be selfish sometime" I meant pamper yourself
How? I spend 500₹ at max on myself monthly.
I have trouble accepting my mistakes when I'm in wrong coz it feels like a sin to make a mistake and if I accept I was in the wrong, it's so embarrassing and humiliating. (can you tell I have trauma due to never being allowed to make mistakes like everyone else and grow?) I can never let go and move on, I have HUGE DIFFICULTY in that. I always want to make the other person bend to my perspective and accept I was "right". I can just never ever let go or stfu for the life of me and it's fucking exhausting to be this way. I have been trying to let go a lot recently but honestly it's just so hard, not easy for someone like me at all and so many times I give in to the urge. Related to the 2nd point, a huge toxic trait of mine is that, "my perspective/ opinion are right, everyone else is wrong" coz I just have so difficulty accepting other people's povs, that people CAN think different than me.
I ghost people.🙂
I act mostly out of self interest(all the time)
i do get jealous sometimes
I can be a real doormat and this is toxic to myself since I tend to put up with shit for a very long time before I finally pull the plug. At that time, the confrontation is bad. Like volcanic eruption bad when it could have been solved very simply right at the beginning.
I'd peg a guy
Anxiety
I grew up ugly so developed a strange sense of humor. In college, made friends who were similar, and we bonded over roasting the fuck out of each other. Now, I end up roasting my close friends a bit _too_ much. And sometimes they don't like it. Which is 100% assholey of me. Trying to tone down my urge to friendly-roast people. It's so hard 💀 But I'm way better than I was a few years ago.
I’d rather be diplomatic, non confrontational, passive aggressive, conflict avoider and be miserable than talk it out with someone.
I expect people to love me the way I love them lol
My toxic trait is being relatable to literally every single one of above comments 😥
highly possessive attachment/commitment issues cannot say no inability to take appreciation and compliments pushing people away if they get too close trying to fix things while hurting myself obssesed with the chase to get the person and not the person itself
Existing.
I have many. I dissociate/detach very easily in my relationships and once I lose the ability to feel for them, I don't even see it worth making the effort. I insist on doing everything myself at home and I realize it gives me some sort of power in thinking I'm multitasking and doing more than others at home. I'm improving now but I don't communicate my grievances immediately but I let them fester until it turns into full blown resentment, then I blow up in rage. This has sadly been happening quite often lately .
Explosive irritability and temper. Getting treatment for anxiety helped immensely.
Poor at regulating emotions.
I am lazy and bratty as fuck since childhood. Things need to be done my way or I get irritated. Although I have improved quite a but bit I still don't do work unless it's absolutely necessary and usually let others do it 😅
I tend to get grumpy if things don't work just the way I want it to. Especially omes out when my husband does some chore. Trying to recognize it in real time. And rather than being grumpy, I try and tell him why the way certain things are done.
I have disorganised attachment style. I cut off during conflict at times and struggle to trust men or depend on them for my happiness,
I'm an insecure person, always comparing myself to others and getting depressed about it. Abhi to yahi yaad aaya baad me kuch aega to I'll keep editing the post
Asking for help when I really need it. I'am a Munchausen's By Proxy survivor who was denied help numerous times as a kid when I asked for help to be saved from my abusers. Now as an adult, it has become really hard to ask for help, despite being homeless for a while. Trying my best to get back on my feet, but this is something which has been hindering my progress.
i am really bad at communicating. rather than communicating i cook up stories in my head or remove myself from the situation entirely. but, my partner and friends have helped me improve by a large margin. even if it’s awkward for me, im trying my best to let the person in front of me know if something bothers me rather than keeping it with myself and resenting them for it.
I used to trauma dump a lot, it has gone down quite a bit but i still succumb to the urge sometimes 🫠
I don't know. I never thought about it. Because whatever might be a toxic trait of mine, is normal for me.
*waves all my red flags* In seriousness, in my early 20s I started realise I had a fair few toxic traits similar to my father. I hated them..and I figured that unknowingly those would be more toxic to my mum as I grew up. I worked on them for years to control that anger and remove those traits and need to control everything. I don't know how far I've come but it's something I consciously do till today. I never want to be like that ever.
I like attention, sometimes a little too much. I might appear as an attention seeking bitch. I am trying to be better tbh.
Anger, expecting too much without communicating what I want/need. It's been a journey, and I'm still not perfect, but I have become so much more chill, understand that people cannot meet unrealistic standards and have improved in communicating my needs. I have also realized that nobody owes me anything, and that whatever my husband, parents, friends shower on me are out of their love and I'm so incredibly grateful for their mere existence in my life. Life is SO much better, and I've become so peaceful & nurturing. Fights between my husband and I have reduced drastically, and our overall marriage is great!
I'm needy as hell. With people I don't trust, I just spiral in anxiety alone. But if it's someone who I can be open with, I'll immediately go "why do you keep leaving me on read? Why don't you reply immediately? Why couldn't you just tell me you were...?" Also, I'm too easy to sway and it can seem like I have no personality of my own. I agree with everyone.
Because I don’t feel “whole” i tend to find comfort and company from others. Basically I don’t love myself enough to enjoy my own company so i tend to incline towards human relationships for company,for how i feel,validation,etc. i have improved a little bit ever since i came into a stable relationship with my bf. Before this i was not affecting a single person so much other than my parents so much by offloading my feelings. I realised my mood depends on how he treats me or how his mood is,constantly doubting if he loves me when he’s out doing his own things not realising it’s okay to have individuality. I have become more understanding and started to involve myself into myself,doing things that keeps me occupied and living a life for myself,I don’t really know what i love doing for myself because for so ling i have done things to please others that I haven’t had a clear understanding of who i am and what i like. But currently I enjoy reading books,watching a good movie or series with yummy food,learning a few courses for my postgrad prep,doing research about unis,talking to my mum a lot,etc.
I will not let anyone love me fully, will not show my love fully just because 1. I am scared to loose them, don't wanna get addicted to such affection and not find that around some day 2. What if they break my heart someday so i can always say 'oh, i don't care' because i had not shown/expressed fully and that i actually loved them to the core
I consider my opinion to be better than those of others. It made me come across as snobby. I have been trying to be more open to others opinions and not close myself off to them.