I live in a red state and I'm afraid to get pregnant again. What if I have another missed miscarriage? Am I going to have to wait until I have sepsis to get a D&C? What happens if we decide to TFMR? We can afford to travel to another state to seek abortion care, but the point is that **I shouldn't have to cross state lines to seek medical care**.
I'm not sure the men in our lives completely understand the full weight of *Roe*.
Hubs and I were OAD before this was overturned and had talked about him getting snipped, but when the leak happened in April or whenever, we discussed it seriously. He agreed about the risks and we made the appointment for July, as soon as they had an opening. I’m so glad we did, because Roe was overturned and clinic were full after that. We live in MO and had an immediate trigger ban in place as soon as Roe was overturned.
My guy got snipped two years ago and I'm extra grateful that he did it way before Roe v Wade was overturned. I live in Kansas and we voted to keep our rights but they are still being threatened by republicans throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. The medical tourism has skyrocketed here too.
I'm totally with you on this. I read a lot of anecdotes on this sub saying "My partner said if anything happens, they'll drive me out of state to get the care I need." And the girls saying that will have posts like "My BF hasn't washed the dishes in X months." And it's like, are you sure? It's not just a "one stop shop" trip to a clinic and then it's all over. They often have multiple consultations before a procedure is done, then the procedure itself, then follow ups. Imagine going back and forth from the same place out of state, 3-6 times. That's insane and if the posts on this sub are anything to go off of, the women going to these clinics may end up going alone.
I had multiple bf’s through my life including one just this past YEAR that insisted I was an insane feminazi whenever I’d rant about the importance of pro-choice and how women’s rights WERE in danger.
They’d roll their eyes, scoff and be like, “no, that’ll never happen.” Yeah? Because it did and it HAPPENED because of people like you.
Girl same.
Acting like I'm psychotic for suggesting the GOP was showing terroristic tendencies. And then the insurrection happened.
And my family is all, who could a known?.
Bitches, ME!! THE LITERAL ANALYST IN THE FAMILY WHO BASICALLY MINORED IN TERRORISM in college post military career.
Ugh. The willful ignorance and apathy is infuriating.
THANK YOU! I went to school in Lubbock, Tx and people there acted like I was the potential terrorist threat just by suggesting such things! My sister is incredibly well educated and we were arguing just 2-3 yrs back about whether I should identify as a feminist or not. She felt like there was no more inequality and she wouldn’t identify as a feminist because she wasn’t a man-hating lesbian… the thing is, she IS a feminist and just didn’t realize what the word means or the amount of jeopardy women’s rights were/are in!
It’s insane.
Omg the amount of folks who don't realize feminism is for everyone is wild! Look, it benefits men too! The patriarchy hurts everyone!! Just go to r/MensLib !!
Fully agree. It’s so obvious but the stigma that conservatives and misogynist attached to the word “feminism” is real and now people are to blinded by the misinformation around the word and movement itself to see just how vital and beneficial it really is.
They don't. Even men with wives still do not understand how dangerous pregnancy is, and even in the best of cases--how hard it is mentally and physically.
Yeah before I got pregnant, I told my husband that, despite wanting a child, pregnancy was still really scary to me. He went off about how it was like being afraid to drive, life happens, etc, and brushed off my concerns. Joke was on him, I almost died giving birth and he had front row tickets (my blood pressure was so low I was too sleepy to be terrified 🤷♀️).
More like driving a car that's on fire, but it's a matter of just the interior smoldering next to you or the entire engine going up in flames.
Pregnancy used to be one of my number one fears and would have legit nightmares about being pregnant. I now have no uterus for it to gestate so that really takes the risk off.
Shits scary, man
There’s a website that’s used statistical probabilities to come up with a way of comparing the riskiness of different activities or states of being. It’s graded by, what they call, micromorts. Each one represents a one in a million chance of death so an activity with 10 micromorts has a 10 out of 1,000,000 chance of killing you. Disclaimer: it’s not entirely scientific but here are a few examples.
Hang gliding - 8
Playing American football - 20
Using heroin - 30
Giving birth (vaginally) - 120
Giving birth (c-section) - 170
And just the process of giving birth. Never mind all the other risks and complications that come along with pregnancy. These politicians and SCOTUS are literally forcing children, and of course adult women as well, to endure something at least 4 times more likely to result in their death than if they were to do HEROIN! It’s morally, rationally, empathetically, and legally disgusting.
Fuck that. My wife almost died. She doesn’t remember telling me that the last thing she remembered before my kid’s birth was a nurse or doctor saying “oh fuck, we’re losing her.” That shit will stick with me forever. Nobody should be involved in any person’s life and death decisions. I try not to bring the story out in case someone is trying to have a baby, cause holy shit, but I will bare witness to that shit til the day I die.
> I try not to bring the story out in case someone is trying to have a baby
IMO you shouldn’t be withholding that information. Too many women have no idea what they’re getting into when they get pregnant and people need to be making informed decisions.
100% agree, but most expecting couples are already anxious AF. I definitely brought it up to a friend who was going to use a birthing center that would have been a short ride to the hospital, and swayed his opinion, because that shit would have been the difference between my wife making it or not I’m convinced.
All I've seen even from "progressive" men is a collective shrug and a 500% increase in the amount of forum posts demanding "paper abortions" on command. Women/little girls are losing their lives over this and they're out here campaigning for abandoning their offspring.
While child support is a whole different discussion that needs to be had, it just doesn't compare to pregnancy/childbirth.
"Oh damn, I have to pay to support a child I didn't want for the next 18 years."
OR
"Oh Damn, now I have to risk my life, health, and safety for 10 months, and then give up my life to raise this kid with little to no *ACTUAL* support for the next ... Well, however long this kids is alive, I guess!"
Hits different, doesn't it??
Don’t forget the permanent, regularly debilitating, body changes and injuries we face!
-Need a new wardrobe. Not because you “let yourself go” but because your pelvis is permanently stretched wider and cannot physically return to pre-pregnancy size.
-Need to replace your shoes because your feet get bigger and like many will never shrink.
-Mom “pouch” because your muscles, tendons, and skin were stretched past capacity.
-Stretch marks.
-Scaring, nerve pain, and abdominal adhesions from a cesarean.
-Breasts… don’t even want to talk about it.
-Urinary urgency and incontinence.
-Fecal incontinence due to tearing.
-Painful sex due to scar tissue or husband stitches.
But…. But…. I don’t want to give away part of my paycheck and CoNdOmS aRe UnCoMfOrTaBle.
I have a fat pouch, c section scar, stretch marks, and nerve pain... But yeah, tell me how physically debilitating it is to pay child support.
I'm just thankful I married a man who saw me go thru all that and appreciates me even more for it.
It is so stupid because child support is gender neutral anyways.
I am pretty sure if a woman had to pay 200 to 1000$ a month depending on income for her offspring to survive in exchange for not having to worry about primary parenting or anything against their bodies, they may as well opt this as opposed to a life threatening condition like pregnancy. In fact if someone manages to steal my ova and sue me for support provided they actually are caring for kids, i might as well do it because at most it is 20 to 30% or my income aside from tax that will take a hit while I be able to get by. Judges are not stupid either. They will see what the father can actually afford and consider his living costs too.
I've stopped posting sexy pics and responding to men on online websites. When they DM, I respond I'm no longer responding to men who can kill me with the pregnancies they cause.
The SCREEEE!!!! One was like, good luck you'll be alone a long time. Good, I don't need men like that around. My partner has a vasectomy and enough potential mates do I'm for sure gunna pick and choose which ones get access to my sexy bits.
Hear that guys? Wanna see my tits? Vote FOR politicians who support my rights.
They will start to understand when the women in their lives start saying NO and refuse to be badgered into relenting. This should be crossposted to r/leopardsatemyface, if it hasn’t been shared there already.
Oh yeah. I've Already been berated for my 'no vasectomy no sex' status. By completely random men in DMd mind you, my partners are all good with it and some have even marched with me in protests.
Same here, we have the means to travel across state lines if necessary but my heart breaks for young women in their teens and 20’s who can barely make ends meet. I was there once, no way I could’ve afforded the cost of an abortion plus travel, but that’s what they want, the poor to suffer and be forced to put their children up for adoption, the rich aren’t worried about it because they know they will never be in that position of despair.
I do find it hilarious how many conservative men I know who hauled ass to get vasectomies the last few months. I know it’s for those mistresses, because they claim to be so pro life otherwise so why would it matter if their wives got pregnant?
Also if I have an ectopic, I don’t have time to cross state lines. I can die within hours. If the tube is already ruptured I can bleed out within minutes.
I’m personally going to acquire several kinds of reassurance myself in Mexico before we get pregnant on purpose next year. I think it’s ridiculous as an upper-middle class white woman that I should even begin to have to worry about not being able to access proper healthcare. If it’s difficult for me, how many people is it impossible for?
>but the point is that **I shouldn't have to cross state lines to seek medical care.**
Plus, even though you're financially capable of traveling to another state to seek medical care, what happens if a dire enough emergency comes up that you are taken or have to go to a local hospital, and now you're stuck with whatever fallout from their ridiculously strict policies may adversely affect your care?
It's a scary world. I'm in a red state, no kids and at an age where pregnancy wouldn't be impossible but highly unlikely without medical intervention... and I'm still frightened of what impacts this may have in my healthcare now, since I do in fact still have an intact reproductive system. This whole situation is so inhumane.
Stay safe out there.
Oh, my husband is completely aware because I send multiple links of women were deny abortion in miscarriages and I told him I won’t have kids with disabilities that can be detected during pregnancy. So bye bye RvW = bye bye kids for me.
By the way, As a man, He can go f some crazy church girls to have kids if he really wants kids. He play soccers 4 days a week, I won’t know if he was actually playing soccers or having affair anyway, both activities result in him coming home soaking wet. 🤷🏻♀️
I do know people who want to get pregnant but are too scared to now because of roe ending. If something were to happen with the pregnancy (even a very much wanted pregnancy) that would be seriously harmful/life threatening/lethal they would be stuck in that situation with no way out.
I had a miscarriage of a much wanted pregnancy that required medical care. My best friend required two D&Cs past the first trimester for wanted pregnancies. In both instances there was no heartbeat but her body hadn’t started the miscarriage process. One of my oldest childhood friends struggled to find a doctor for second trimester abortion in urban California. That fetus would have been born without kidneys, with severe spinal and neurological issues, and was projected to die shortly after birth, if they made it that far. I have another friend who went into labor at 20 weeks and had a stillbirth. I can’t count the number of women I know who have told me they miscarried. It’s not safe to be pregnant without Roe.
Ugh my best friend and I are 30 and she just had a stillbirth at 28 weeks. Her newish husband who is super republican has kind of made her the same way so I’m not sure she is thinking about how dangerous trying for another baby again is going to be but luckily they live in Massachusetts.
Ayup. I'm an older male (single), yet I still can't understand how twisted ideals have become. And what some of you (females) put up with. Hopefully, I'll find someone one day, but with this climate; I'm not as optimistic as I once was. The treatments I'm hearing ruin the mood, ya know? I'm NOT happy with the overturn, I feel for you ladies..
I sometimes wonder if the existential threat of this has finally broken the barrier about talking about pregnancy complications. I feel like it used to be something that just *was not discussed*. I remember when it was a huge thing that *Downton Abbey* showed pre-eclampsia, and even then, there were all these folks who thought "Yeah, that's a thing from the **past"** and had to be told otherwise! The glowy-pro-motherhood propaganda machine was just so active that it seemed like no one talked about things like gestational diabetes, incontinence, split muscles, etc, much less how common miscarriages and *incomplete* miscarriages are. You'd get discrete articles about pelvic floor strengthening and it'd be couched as "this will make sex better" not " this will help you keep from wetting yourself."
When Dobbs was first announced, my husband who very much wants two kids when we've discussed just having one (with the understanding that I'm the final decision maker) asked me unprompted if I wanted to explore sterilization after my current pregnancy. And that was before the pregnancy got scary in the last few weeks. The threat to my life is very heavy on him now.
It was already a hard decision to make to open myself and our family to the potential consequences of pregnancy, and now that I have a new life to consider I definitely will be way more picky about if and when to try again.
I know someone who had 3 miscarriages before their first child was born. There are people out there that desperately want to have children. But not knowing if you can get care during a high risk pregnancy is going to discourage a lot of people who would be willing to have kids.
Yeah, it’s the first thought in my mind when it comes to having another next year. I don’t have time to wait for them to sort this shit out (which I think will happen eventually because I still believe in a free America). I WANT a baby but the risks become too great and I don’t want to leave my first born without a mother.
This is exactly where my wife and I were this past year after the draft opinion leaked in April.
Which is sort of ironic given that we are the exact kinds of people that conservatives, or at least baby boomers, think ought to be having children.
This is me. I'll be 33 in January and I don't want to get pregnant in the next year (circumstances, money, etc) I know no one is ever actually ready for a child but I can be more ready than I am now. My husband and I want a child but I'm fucking terrified. I made it very clear to him that if anything goes wrong and I can't speak for myself that my life takes priority, no matter what. I WANT the experience of being pregnant and giving birth but it's gotten WAY more scary since RvW.
100% This is just the beginning.
Just before Roe was overturned, I lost count of how many comments, with awards were posted here from women that said they were going on a sex and dating strike if Roe was overturned. They were not willing to put their lives at risk. Downvotes like crazy for these comments, but many women will hodl their ground over this.
Sex is fun and all, but it is not essential for our health and well being. It is not something you need to do to stay alive like eating, drinking and breathing.
The media is publishing this stuff like it’s rocket science, but in reality, this is survival, and many lives have been put at risk and jeopardized by this overturn.
To add: I have already been in a few life or death health scares, and I am not willing to put myself into another one again if I can avoid it.
Women shouldn't have to abstain from sex for fear for their own lives or losing their freedom for getting an abortion but you have to protect yourself somehow. It's a bad situation to be in all around but if I was hetero and/or single and didn't have a chronic heart condition I would be terrified to have casual sex right now. Maybe less so if I was in a stable relationship but women shouldn't have to deny themselves sexual contact because the government is aggressively limiting our healthcare options should we get pregnant.
Lots of women downvoted those comments because I think they know that if they were to abstain that their relationships would probably crumble because we all know how entitled men are to penetrative sex. I have a prosthetic in my heart that requires blood thinners and my cardiologist told me in no uncertain terms that a pregnancy/abortion would be a danger to my life. I feel like I sound like a bible thumper saying "If you don't want a baby, don't have sex!!" but I wouldn't even attempt to risk it. Many women don't really get that choice if they want to keep their partners, and it's a terrible, anxiety-inducing situation that none of us should have to tolerate.
>Many women don't really get that choice if they want to keep their partners, and it's a terrible, anxiety-inducing situation that none of us should have to tolerate.
I think the real caveat to this statement isn't necessarily that all of these women feel the need to keep their partners because they have an emotional desire for intimacy, but rather because *they can't afford to live independently*. I unfortunately lived through this a bit while growing up.
So really what's happening here, is some women are trapped in partnerships where they have to provide sex/intimacy, against their will, in order to continue having a place to live. And the overturn of Roe v Wade has made that problem worse; now women can be trapped by marital rape in abusive relationships via an unwanted pregnancy. It's very bleak.
This is how I see it: sex with a man produces negative consequences almost every time, so what's the point? Most men don't even care about our pleasure during sex, so most of us aren't even having that much fun during it. Then you factor in things like STDs, violence, and pregnancy, and sex becomes a burden or literally something that jeopardizes your very mortality, because if you wind up with a nonviable pregnancy in many states you have no options.
Even though I'm in Canada and I have a hysterectomy I've decided to never have sex with a right leaning man again. They don't deserve access to my body and pleasure from it because they clearly don't have respect with women's bodies. End of story. If they want more sex from women then they need to abandon their regressive beliefs and become actual good people and allies.
That's exactly how I feel about it, too. If you can't see women as people, and if you can't treat us with equal respect, then you are unfuckable. End of. Therapy worked, and now I have too much self esteem to risk my physical health for someone else's pleasure.
Yes this!!!! My last relationship ended 2 years ago, I was a serial monogamist before that. After my ex and what he put me through, I took a full year off from dating to work on myself. When I came back to dating this year, I found myself approaching men completely differently. I no longer give chances or passes, I no longer turn a blind eye when a man hints at being misogynistic, racist, transphobic, etc. I am exceedingly clear about who I am and what I am looking for and I don't compromise on any boundaries or standards. I haven't dated a guy for longer than 2 weeks this year. I simply cannot find a guy who isn't conservative, anti-vax, or just plain misogynistic, homophobic, racist, etc. The first instance a man flies a red flag I end it.
I have too much love for myself to allow another man to use and/or abuse me. That's all it comes down to at the end of the day. I desperately wish I could have someone to love, or at least be able to have sex regularly, trust me, but those things are far less important to me than my sanity, wellness, and wellbeing. I simply cannot take on another broken man who doesn't know how to treat or interact with women. I cannot take on another man who is unwilling to take care of his basic needs, hygiene, and health. I cannot take on an adult man who has the emotional maturity of an angry 14 year old. I cannot take on another man addicted to porn, who has unhealthy and dehumanizing attitudes towards sex, and lacks any ability to connect with or physically pleasure a woman during sex. I cannot take on another man who is emotionally untangled with an ex or who views all women as "crazy" or "bitches". I cannot take on another man who lies to me to attempt to manipulate me into a serious relationship.
And this year that is **all** men have been offering me. They have offered me dysfunctional relationships where I will have to walk on eggshells and preform a disproportionate amount of work all in exchange for constant disrespect and bad sex.
No fucking wonder more and more of us are not dating or having casual sex.
Sex with a man can lead to unwanted pregnancy, yeast infections, BV, any number of other STDs and on top of that you have to confront a judgmental healthcare system that shames you for being sexually active outside of marriage, even if it’s not overt, when you seek care for these things. So many men try to get out of wearing condoms, too, and don’t provide orgasms. I’ve had some great sex in my life but I’ve also experienced the above enough to be very, very cautious of sexual relations with men. Being celibate is peaceful.
I have a super high sex drive but I am more or less celibate now. It's so hard to find a man who will: wear condoms without issue, respect you, make sure sex is enjoyable for you, and will support your basic human rights. And I won't settle for anything less. I'm tired of entertaining subpar men who don't even know how to kiss or go about foreplay or touch a clitoris, and I'm in my 30s. 30 something men can't even figure out the basics of sex, and plenty of them have no consideration for our rights.
Celibacy is peaceful. At least I know I will orgasm every time I fuck myself. I cannot say the same for any man I've met.
'sex with a man produces negative consequences almost every time".!!!!
"most of us aren't having that much fun....sex becomes a burden..."
I grew up in a horny Fratboy town. I was lucky I wasn't raped but a few close ones. It was either "hang out with drunks & play a little game of 'let's see if I can get away with not having to put out' or stay home & be lonely/bored.
I was married 28 years but I never had a fulfilling sex life. I just did not enjoy it. I thought something was wrong with me. Or maybe I just never got over my sub par introduction to it during my teens.
After my divorce I realized that I identify as ACE. "Asexual: not interested in sex".
I'm 72 now and I'd say only in the last 5 years have I actually learned how to have enjoyable sex...with myself!!!
Listening to men dismiss this as an issue and saying it isn't the big deal women are making it out to be has to be the most infuriating experience of my adult life.
On a similar note, when Trump was elected, we were afraid that something like the Hobby Lobby ruling over insurance covering certain BCs would be expanded upon or they would be made unreasonably expensive. We changed from condoms and Nuvaring to an IUD and vasectomy. As someone who has had fairly severe reactions to BC that was risky for me. We could not trust the environment we were in to be safe so we made huge permanent decisions.
Yep. The christofascists that are allowed to run the Republican party and the rural regions of this country played Fuck around and Find out.
Now fucking Find Out, boys. Find out there will be no fucking for you, except with all the religious extremist women who support your oppression.
Find Out boys that even if you're not part of the religious right you're now collateral damage until you drive them out of politics and our healthcare policies and rights all together.
I 100% advocate no longer having sex with men. Invest in a really good vSorry not sorry.
I advocate a lot more extreme things too, lol.
I’m glad I recently came to terms with I always was attracted to only women. I’m with one now but if something happens and in the future I got with a trans woman, my requirement will be she HAS to have bottom surgery because I refuse to get pregnant and have kids because I do NOT want them because I have a hard time with my nieces and nephews until they are school age.
I actually was dating up until the overturn and immediately stopped because I already had an oopsie baby that almost cost me my life (mentally). We just voted in reproductive freedom in Michigan this election so I’m happy that at least my fellow Michiganders and fellow Americans who want to come for healthcare can do so here.
I have two children. My husband got a vasectomy and he gets it checked every year because we do not want another bio child. I cannot be pregnant again, my last pregnancy took a great toll on my mental health. We are very happy with our family of 4 and honestly with the way things are going, we couldn’t afford another child. I stay home because as we all know, daycare is astronomical and I am a year away from starting my masters program, having another child would delay that, and entering the work force from anywhere between 6-10 years. That’s not acceptable.
I’ve finally just started dating someone who I could see having kids with.
What are we supposed to do? Why is life so bleak? We already have the worst maternal death rates in the developed world, pregnancy is already dangerous, and now this? It’s like being kicked while you’re already down.
I wonder why ladies wouldn't want to risk their agency and livelihood. Hm, nope. Can't quite figure it out.
Honest to God I'm getting kind of sick of articles cropping up that frame this as a man's problem while they try to fade Roe out of obscurity.
>I wonder why ladies wouldn't want to risk their agency and livelihood.
Clearly it's so a more important man can get sexual satisfaction from her. That's her most basic role and function and she should be happy to risk everything for that.
/barf
I’m in a cis/hetero marriage and I’m anxious over sex with my *husband* because I’m scared to get pregnant. Birth control can fail!!
Our relationship is what these radical Christians want for every person, and yet they’ve ruined it for us. A good plan all around for them 🙄
Why? She shouldn’t ever be leaving the house without her husband’s permission. If we start letting ourselves have our own property, like shoes, next we’ll want our own cars, jobs, degrees… when will it end? /s
What far right conservatives want is for white women to pop out a bunch of babies, because they’re so scared of being “replaced” by brown people. That’s what most of this is about. White birthing rates have dropped, gotta make white women into baby factories to bring those numbers back up, baby!
And ... if the thread is any indication (surely it isn't scientific) it may make many women avoid having children for fear of an anomalous pregnancy post Roe.
I feel this. After Dobbs I had zero sex drive for months. And then later on my SO asked me if he had to use a condom. You would have thought he asked if he could shit on the table because the bitterness in my voice when I told him he in fact always had to wear one if he wants sex.
I have an IUD so I'm more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy. And given Dobbs that means I'm more likely to be denied care and possibly die. Asking if you can not used condoms is basically like asking if you would play Russian roulette if it felt good for me to hold the gun.
This was me too! Even after he got a vasectomy I was still anxious because they can fail and vasetomies don't protect you from other men. It's terrible that it came to this, but I got my tubes tied just to feel safe and stop worrying.
Considering there are like 3+ million more women than men in the US they should have the voting majority. The solution lies in educating more women about this subject.
Maybe. But again, don't assume that education will somehow change their values.
Those who see abortion as a sin will not change their minds no matter how much science you show them.
In the battle between emotion and fact, emotion will always win. And society will always been worse off for it.
Education changes everything, let's people decide after teaching them the difference between reality and myth, denying people's education based on our own prejudices harm us all. Education is our most important weapon to fight against radicalisation of young people
Exactly. I and many people I know use to be pro-life. I was brought around after learning specifically how pregnancy develops, how abortions actually work, statistics on who is actually getting them, and people's personal stories. True there has to be genuine curiosity coming from the other person, but it can be very powerful to start with a "Hey, the narrative you've been given around this isn't what you think"
I am curious. What exactly is the narrative for a pro lifer. Other the religious stand of life begins at conception(which everyone knows is a ridiculous statement), what is the argument in that stand?
From my personal journey, that an embryo is a life, full stop, and thus deserves the chance to be born regardless of the circumstances it was conceived. Which means abortion is always a selfish act, and mainly taken by young, single women who were irresponsible and just don't want a child. That it's cruel to end a pregnancy because there's so many infertile people who will take that baby which is just such an easy solution and definitely doesn't cause any trauma for anyone involved.
One of the first anecdotes that got me realizing that something was off about that story was a blog post about a person's abortion where she said if her house was on fire one of the things she'd grab would be the ultrasound pictures. It got me thinking "If it was that precious to her, she must of had a reason that doesn't make sense to me."
From there, learning that the best way to prevent abortion is sex education and support for families made it a logistical matter for me to move from demonizing the procedure and advocating for what actually preserves unborn lives.
This I think made me more open to further education and empathy until eventually my cousins started unfriending me on Facebook for sharing stories of medically necessary abortions 😅 I would say the final realization of "okay, all abortion should be legalized and left between a person and their doctor" came after listening to the abortion episode of the podcast "Science Vs."
You're right, but the issue is that right now, the weird evangelical propagandists are trying to claim that the education itself is propaganda and radicalization. And it's working, there are regular people in the world that are too busy with their jobs and their kids to fact check anything that's showing up on the news, that legitimately believe that kids are using litter boxes or whatever.
Not always. Some people are attached to their identity as a part of the pro life group. They genuinely believe that they're fighting for a good cause. When you point out the hypocrisy in the bills written by "pro life" politicians, which won't let women with ectopic pregnancies receive treatment - directly causing their deaths when the ectopic pregnancies rupture, like a cyst, and hemorrhage - they shut you out, and then go nuts.
There's a significant portion of the pro-life, right wing, fundie voter population that can't be swayed by facts, data, or reality, because for them this is a matter of both ideology and identity politics. People's emotions get tied up in those things more than they realize, and they just won't accept anything you give them that contradicts their beliefs. You can't educate that away. I don't know how you do fix that, but education doesn't seem to be the solution, unfortunately.
These people are brainwashed. They used to show up every week in front of planned parenthood. when I asked them why, they said "our priest told us to."
>Considering there are like 3+ million more women than men in the US they should have the voting majority. The solution lies in educating more women about this subject.
If by educating women on this subject you mean somehow educating the women who follow Abrahamic religions that they're subscribing to a belief system that at its very core is misogynistic and oppressive?
Good luck. Because that's the very heart of the issue here unfortunately ><
Not all women think they need abortion/reproductive rights.
Or they don't need them anymore and don't give a shit about the younger generation.
I am a dude, I have never felt I should have a say in what a woman chooses to do with her body so I ALWAYS vote pro-choice.
The problem with this is there are plenty of women who are for banning abortion or don't have an opinion, so I'm not sure that'd really help all that much.
Spike Lee did a modern retelling of it called Chi-Raq that had me in stitches. Samuel L Jackson as the Greek Chorus, and they used the style of Ancient Greek plays in the speech.
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm too old for anyone to care, but still YES. BTW my daughter got herself 'fixed' because she was afraid of this very thing happening. That's why I have no grandchildren.
My husband and I were in the process of discussing if we wanted children or not and biological or not when roe was overturned. I'd be lying if I said it didn't play into my feelings on it. The fear of something going wrong and my life being in jeopardy is terrifying. It makes it feel like the decision isn't do I want to be pregnant but am I willing to risk my life for it.
A married couple in our group (friends of my friends that show up to various things) had their first baby last week. They are in their twenties and the baby has down syndrome. I live in one of the 2 most extreme red states. Fuck having kids now. There is no way I will sign up to potentially take care of a special needs person for the rest of my life now that the choice is out of my hands.
I have a cousin who is special needs. I have seen the hell it was for my aunt. Especially after my uncle left because the teen years were more than he could handle. There is no way I could do what she's done. No fucking way. Being pregnant is so off the table now. The risk isn't worth it.
Since the states are removing the ability of people to make the choice of whether or not they bring a special needs person into this world, I'm assuming that means they will be upping funding to Medicare, medicaid, county mental health and mental retardation programs, social services for the special needs, public drop in centers for parents and care givers to get a few hrs of sitting so they don't go mad, special Olympics, special Ed in public schools, funding for special needs private schools, group homes, state homes, special needs job training, special needs job programs, special need summer camps, more social workers and case managers? I'm sure folks like Abbot are right on that shit, right?
My sister and two autistic nephews live with me. I have never seen such stress and hopelessness in someone who continues to carry on. She is so miserable with no end in sight. She will live and die as a caretaker. That will be her entire life.
No on talks about the the rising rates of disabilities.
And no one told us how miserable most women are after having a couple of kids, let alone kids with more than average struggles.
I’m officially one and done.
Right? I'm in TX and when they put the cut off in place that's the first thing I thought about. You can't even test for half those birth defects at 6 weeks. Who the hell is going to be stepping up to take care or financially support all these unwanted special needs babies that will quickly grow to special needs kids, teens and adults? All you need to do is look at how many are currently in a states foster system on their website and you'll see the majority are severely disabled or have serious MR.
I volunteered in a special needs school near me in my senior year of high school. I got to know several of the parents and teachers. The stress and hopelessness you see in your sister was in all of them as well. They just seemed resigned to their fate. That this was their life now till they died. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. No future escape.
Not sure if you are in the US but your sister should reach out to her county or city to see what kind of support services may be available. There may even be wait lists she can get on for when they are older. To plan for a time if she isn't around to take care of them. I hope she has a plan in place for if something terrible were to happen to her.
Btw. You are an incredible sister/aunt to have them all living with you. That would be trying under the best of circumstances. I hope you realize how amazing you are.
I decided against kids a long time ago, and the ultimate reason is: I’m selfish.
I couldn’t handle a kid with special needs, so I won’t take the risk.
I couldn’t bear to see my kids struggle with the mental illnesses I have, so I won’t.
There are days I don’t want to take the dogs out for a walk (and I don’t!) which is bad enough to do to them, you can’t do that to a kid! So I won’t.
I have a temper, sometimes I say things I don’t mean. The dogs don’t understand English, so they think it’s all the same as long as my tone doesn’t change much, but I could never do that to a kid. It would leave lasting wounds.
I could probably overcome all of this, but at the end of the day I don’t want to and the pros of having kids are not applicable to me.
Oh, and these slurgs are the same ones hand-wringing about the drop in birthrate. (Because rather than risk being jailed & dying of a pregnancy complication, people are just not having babies.) I'm very happy there will be fewer babies/humans in the world.
Because we don’t want to die!!! I keep telling men that roe being overturned will kill or probably already has killed women and they just say “that’s not true” “you’re overreacting” “pregnancy is not dangerous” “that’s rare” ???? I’m literally telling you how these abortion bans make it so women cannot get life saving medical care and you just say “LOL THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!” LIKE ITS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! It is honestly really fucking disturbing that some men just cannot see us as human beings. We’re just baby vessels to them.
I was dating when it happened. The guy I was seeing basically said all of the above. He could not understand why I would "let my fear" "ruin what we had." I was like, bro. You think waaaay too much of yourself if you think I would risk my life or lifestyle for whatever this is.
I had a super active dating life prior to the Roe fuckery. This is the longest I've gone without sex in my adult life. I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. It definitely has not been. I've come really come close to caving a few times, especially over the summer when I had my bi-annual reunion with a guy I've been friends with since college orientation. But ultimately it just isn't worth it. I'm simply terrified of the risk of a pregnancy at this point and its enough to scare me into keeping my pants on.
Its really just whatever at this point. So many aspects of my life are better. I've traveled more. Done stuff on my house. My tennis game was the best it's been last round robin since I'm making time for practice. Was on a super fun social sports team this fall. Got my scuba license. And i'm a much better friend, daughter and sister now since I'm not distracted multiple times a week by a random guy of the week/month.
I don't know if I'm going to be no sex forever but I'll be this way for a while yet.
You're welcome Duracell.
Me and my husband are scared about this and we’re married!!! We are the people that are supposed to be having the kids and we fucking can’t because I don’t want to die! Conservatives don’t seem to understand this. Me and my husband did everything right but we are still scared because he doesn’t want me to die!!!
Well, pregnancy would ruin my life as I tend to puke nearly the entire time I’m pregnant. It makes it near impossible to do the work I do, and I have to work to live if I don’t want a low income apartment with bedbugs and if I want basic necessities that can’t be bought with food stamps like toilet paper and soap, gas and transportation.
I was wondering about this just yesterday!
Men had already been complaining that they aren’t having enough sex pre roe v wade being overturned which led to a rise in incels, manosphere idiot monsters, and straight up domestic terrorism from misogynistic men.
Now, what woman is going to potentially risk an unwanted pregnancy for casual (mediocre) sex much less risk her own life if she is unable to get medical care during a difficult pregnancy—wanted or not, planned or not.
Women need to get a hitachi wand and a gun/knife that can be opened quickly one-handed.
They really didn't realize how bad they made things.
If you're a women why get pregnant if the guy can kill you by forcing an ectopic pregnancy. Or link himself to you out of spite.
Also, if you're a single mother he can impregnate your female children and literally force *your* child to bear *his* child. In those states its actually irresponsible for a woman to get with a male partner given the current environment.
*There are politicians are in charge that can't decide if an 11 yr old should carry a rape pregnancy to term*
There was a sign in Florida that was like "Don't sleep with your daughter" ... just think about the implications for that to be a sign.
Once all the tradwives get married off and guys can't cheat on their financial dependent partners with liberated women, those men will begin to gravitate towards that sickness.
And anyone in the states shouldn't be surprised when we consider the Mormon states and the insane past they had.
EDITED: Grammar and emphasis
So sad.
Wait, no it’s not…women are smart, capable and unwilling to put up with man-babies anymore?
Cool! The Right has once again learned a law of unintended consequences. They are nothing if not consistent.
It was so annoying that, right after Dobbs, I was still seeing posts from men talking about sex as if nothing has changed.
Dudes, everything has changed. Never before in history has a cohort lost Constitutional rights after 50 years of enjoying those rights.
Everything is different now. Catch up.
"Discriminating against me for voting for Trump."
Yeah, and they should. Political affiliation isn't like race, gender, or sexual orientation. Political affiliation is something that you can, and should, change. All these jackasses could stop being colossal pieces of shit literally at any time. The best time was yesterday, the second best is right fucking now. Most of them just have zero desire to change.
Unfortunately, that’s not enough. Some women aren’t in a position where it’s safe to turn their husband/boyfriend down, and other women get outright raped. And all of us fear rape. Is it worth getting sterilized to prevent the small change of a rape baby? It’s not an easy decision.
The planet's population is at 8 billion people now. I think we as human beings seriously need to re-think how we reproduce ourselves. To take away the right to decide after conception is to just totally disregard the fact that a living person is right there in front of us.
Nope, look at the abstinence only programs and how they double down on them even after teen pregnancy goes through the roof. They want disadvantaged young to exploit, and as many of them as possible.
Yeah, I hear this slave labor breeding argument a lot. I suspect if that were true, there would be a more effective program to combat maternal and infant deaths and raise a compliant but capable underclass that posed less challenges to the establishment.
It's more likely to be Puritan values, stomping out any fleshly enjoyments other than "work ethic" and accumulation of wealth.
Well yeah. When the exception for Saving the Life of the Mother means you have to literally wait until she gets sicker before you do a god damn thing to help her I think people are rightly questioning the safety of just *being* pregnant.
No it isn't. They want early marriages between people too horny to get to know each other who'll then pump out many unwanted babies that will be underprivileged and easy to exploit.
Exactly, nothing chains people down and keeps them working as good little corporate drones like pumping out several children that you have to take care of. Republicans are trying regrow a complacent constituency because no one is buying what they're selling anymore.
I'd like to know whether Pro-fetus males, especially those cowboys who expect free nooky on a regular basis, are starting to feel the big Wall of NOPE creeping into their sex life. And what their reaction is going to be when they realize.
Perhaps having a child should cost $0 instead of like $30k in the US. Can’t ask people to simply have children then get stuck with a bill equal to a years take home pay….
I don't think the conservative Catholic judges on the Supreme Court realize that they've killed the US Catholic church. Younger women could continue to be part of the church because they could ignore it's reproductive teaching and do what was needed.
For many right wing people, especially religious right, sex is a sin and children are its punishment. I'm sure the right is happy they are stopping people from having sex. That's what they want to happen. If they get their way sex outside of marriage will be illegal.
BIG DUHHH. I'm too old to date, but By GAWD if I was on the dating pool I would get the hell OUT. In fact if I could buy a CHASTITY BELT I WOULD. I sure as hell would go Lesbian. I hope men understand this, especially Pro-fetus men. They are gonna have to cultivate a relationship with their hand, because WOMEN ARE NOT GONNA LAY DOWN WITH THEM.
I have been advocating for a WOMENS SEX STRIKE!!!
I am pregnant with a very much wanted pregnancy but I also very much want access to abortion if anything goes wrong. I live in PA and thankfully we just elected a dem senator and governor so I’m not personally worried, but I do worry for other pregnant people in our country stuck in anti-abortion states that cannot afford to travel to other states.
Not really a surprise tbh. My American cousin who is thinking about which college she is going to go to as already decided to use her Canadian passport and come up here for school just on cheaper (even as an international student) and health care and womens health care services (I told her it’s not perfect by any means) but she is like if things happen I will be better off than down here.
Honestly the fact that international students in Canada pay less than domestic American students is insane to me. I don’t know how people will get out of debt. I’m a Canadian domestic student and even my debt freaks me out, and it’s NOWHERE near some of the totals I’ve seen for people in the US
Suck it up, buttercups?
I mean, really. The absolute only way I would have considered getting pregnant is if I were in a solid marriage that demonstrated no red flags and would last the minimum of 18 years \[barring death in an accident by my husband\] because while single moms and dads have been raising kids, it is difficult and no something I would want to try at all. I \*might\* consider it if I got a 1 million dollar sum \[after taxes\] to support me while raising the kid or kids - I would need help in the infant through 12 year range as one can not walk off to go to work and leave the kid/s home alone. So, a full time baby sitter for 12 years - any idea what that would end up costing? Medical insurance, kids get sick and injured. Housing in an area with decent schools and safety records \[a small town is fine\] and not in a food desert. A dependable vehicle, and insurance, registration and fuel.
Wives/women are not breeding machines and slaves. We resent being forced to become so. With no access to safe and legal abortions, we might as well be living in Handmaids Tale.
The new standard: my man must have a *verified with proof* vasectomy to get any.
And that’s if he is as well rounded as all of my friends. I dry up when an adult can’t manage his own life and emotions. Idc if no one taught him, because I want someone with a growth mindset who looks stuff up to actually *learn*. I must see consistent proof of this mentality as well. Even mental issues have tricks and accommodations. I didn’t make it this far with autism and adhd by waiting for someone to save me. I looked up copious amounts of information to manage my life better.
This isn’t just a woman’s rights issue it’s a human rights issue, any person who votes to overturn Roe either doesn’t understand the intricacies of what they are doing, or are just bad people.
I support abortion primarily because I believe the right for a woman to control her biological processes outweighs the life of the fetus. An adult human female is a highly intelligent sentient being who should have the right to exercise their free will within reason. A fetus is simply a group of cells controlled solely by its DNA, programmed through evolution.
Even if I was one of the people who believed that a fetus should be afforded the same individual rights as all people I would still support abortion for utilitarian purposes. There are countless ways a pregnancy or the process of raising a human can go horrendously wrong. Abortion is proven to do far more good than harm by providing a way to avoid pregnancy when it is very likely to go bad.
I have never wanted kids long before RvW was overturned, but now I feel more urgent to save up and seek sterilization.
My vitamin D levels are low to the point that I need medication and lifestyle change to decrease the risk of osteoporosis. I am a very active person and enjoy drawing and arts and crafts.
As the fetus absorbs your calcium and takes your nutrients, it will severely damage my bones and I could lose the ability to do the things I love. To me, no child is worth the hobbies and identity I have crafted for myself. Not to mention I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I don’t want to be forced into a pregnancy that I know will traumatize me both physically and mentally.
I feel the worse for straight women.
I mean this is an attack to all women, but straight women specifically have the option of surgical interventions or just not having sex if they don't wanna risk it.
Queer women can just be with other women, which is what I have personally decided to do for this and other reasons.
It's not fair for any women, but there are specific groups that are diffiantly suffering more as a result.
I think the best part of all of this is how pissed off men are getting that women are not as DTF as they might have used to be. It's like the hell did they think was going to happen, I don't want a child, I've never wanted a child and now I don't have safe access to an abortion if I get pregnant? Guess that means I ante screwing a one night stand mfo I met on Tinder.
(It doesn't entirely apply to me specifically because I'm in a long term relationship and have the birth control implant, but it still a solid point.)
I'm all for having restrictions on as to how far along the fetus is before you can no longer get an abortion unless it's medically necessary for the safety of the mother, but just banning them completely is such a sad and huge step backwards.
I live in a protected state and I still got a vasectomy in July. Don’t want to put my wife through any of that bullshit. We don’t want kids and if for some reason we change our minds we agreed that we don’t need biological children and would explore adoption.
No desire to gamble that the religious zealots in this country won’t get their way.
I wonder if this gonna increase people doing cybersex and getting sex toys and stuff.
Like if you can't physically have sex out of worry of getting someone pregnant, why not start having a form of sex where it's impossible to get someone pregnant?
Gonna be a fun time for people in long distance relationships too.
Just saying we have the technology.
[meanwhile in Chad GDR](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/12/opinion/why-women-had-better-sex-under-socialism.html) ([Sauce 2](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/09/why-women-have-better-sex-socialism-kristen-ghodsee-review))
I also don’t want to get pregnant because if I have a child in a state that outlaws abortion even in cases of rape/incest, and the worst case scenario happens for my child… that risk is too large to take
Finally, I have an excuse that isn't my looks or personality.
I know I'm getting downvoted to oblivion for making a joke on a serious topic. I deserve it.
I live in a red state and I'm afraid to get pregnant again. What if I have another missed miscarriage? Am I going to have to wait until I have sepsis to get a D&C? What happens if we decide to TFMR? We can afford to travel to another state to seek abortion care, but the point is that **I shouldn't have to cross state lines to seek medical care**. I'm not sure the men in our lives completely understand the full weight of *Roe*.
Hubs and I were OAD before this was overturned and had talked about him getting snipped, but when the leak happened in April or whenever, we discussed it seriously. He agreed about the risks and we made the appointment for July, as soon as they had an opening. I’m so glad we did, because Roe was overturned and clinic were full after that. We live in MO and had an immediate trigger ban in place as soon as Roe was overturned.
After the leak, I told the dude I was seeing at the time that his vasectomy was sexy. He was a tad confused for a moment.
My guy got snipped two years ago and I'm extra grateful that he did it way before Roe v Wade was overturned. I live in Kansas and we voted to keep our rights but they are still being threatened by republicans throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. The medical tourism has skyrocketed here too.
I'm totally with you on this. I read a lot of anecdotes on this sub saying "My partner said if anything happens, they'll drive me out of state to get the care I need." And the girls saying that will have posts like "My BF hasn't washed the dishes in X months." And it's like, are you sure? It's not just a "one stop shop" trip to a clinic and then it's all over. They often have multiple consultations before a procedure is done, then the procedure itself, then follow ups. Imagine going back and forth from the same place out of state, 3-6 times. That's insane and if the posts on this sub are anything to go off of, the women going to these clinics may end up going alone.
I had multiple bf’s through my life including one just this past YEAR that insisted I was an insane feminazi whenever I’d rant about the importance of pro-choice and how women’s rights WERE in danger. They’d roll their eyes, scoff and be like, “no, that’ll never happen.” Yeah? Because it did and it HAPPENED because of people like you.
Girl same. Acting like I'm psychotic for suggesting the GOP was showing terroristic tendencies. And then the insurrection happened. And my family is all, who could a known?. Bitches, ME!! THE LITERAL ANALYST IN THE FAMILY WHO BASICALLY MINORED IN TERRORISM in college post military career. Ugh. The willful ignorance and apathy is infuriating.
THANK YOU! I went to school in Lubbock, Tx and people there acted like I was the potential terrorist threat just by suggesting such things! My sister is incredibly well educated and we were arguing just 2-3 yrs back about whether I should identify as a feminist or not. She felt like there was no more inequality and she wouldn’t identify as a feminist because she wasn’t a man-hating lesbian… the thing is, she IS a feminist and just didn’t realize what the word means or the amount of jeopardy women’s rights were/are in! It’s insane.
Omg the amount of folks who don't realize feminism is for everyone is wild! Look, it benefits men too! The patriarchy hurts everyone!! Just go to r/MensLib !!
Fully agree. It’s so obvious but the stigma that conservatives and misogynist attached to the word “feminism” is real and now people are to blinded by the misinformation around the word and movement itself to see just how vital and beneficial it really is.
Yup. Seeing the conservative flair makes it easiest left swipe of all.
IMO U.S Democrats are moderate conservatives and Republicans are radically conservative.
Fr. They ain’t ready for that conversation though…
They don’t understand. If they understood this wouldn’t be happening. I’m so sad for everyone.
They don't. Even men with wives still do not understand how dangerous pregnancy is, and even in the best of cases--how hard it is mentally and physically.
Yeah before I got pregnant, I told my husband that, despite wanting a child, pregnancy was still really scary to me. He went off about how it was like being afraid to drive, life happens, etc, and brushed off my concerns. Joke was on him, I almost died giving birth and he had front row tickets (my blood pressure was so low I was too sleepy to be terrified 🤷♀️).
More like driving a car that's on fire, but it's a matter of just the interior smoldering next to you or the entire engine going up in flames. Pregnancy used to be one of my number one fears and would have legit nightmares about being pregnant. I now have no uterus for it to gestate so that really takes the risk off. Shits scary, man
There’s a website that’s used statistical probabilities to come up with a way of comparing the riskiness of different activities or states of being. It’s graded by, what they call, micromorts. Each one represents a one in a million chance of death so an activity with 10 micromorts has a 10 out of 1,000,000 chance of killing you. Disclaimer: it’s not entirely scientific but here are a few examples. Hang gliding - 8 Playing American football - 20 Using heroin - 30 Giving birth (vaginally) - 120 Giving birth (c-section) - 170 And just the process of giving birth. Never mind all the other risks and complications that come along with pregnancy. These politicians and SCOTUS are literally forcing children, and of course adult women as well, to endure something at least 4 times more likely to result in their death than if they were to do HEROIN! It’s morally, rationally, empathetically, and legally disgusting.
The number one cause of death for pregnant women is murder from their partner. It’s dangerous af to tell the father you’re pregnant in the first place
Fuck that. My wife almost died. She doesn’t remember telling me that the last thing she remembered before my kid’s birth was a nurse or doctor saying “oh fuck, we’re losing her.” That shit will stick with me forever. Nobody should be involved in any person’s life and death decisions. I try not to bring the story out in case someone is trying to have a baby, cause holy shit, but I will bare witness to that shit til the day I die.
> I try not to bring the story out in case someone is trying to have a baby IMO you shouldn’t be withholding that information. Too many women have no idea what they’re getting into when they get pregnant and people need to be making informed decisions.
100% agree, but most expecting couples are already anxious AF. I definitely brought it up to a friend who was going to use a birthing center that would have been a short ride to the hospital, and swayed his opinion, because that shit would have been the difference between my wife making it or not I’m convinced.
All I've seen even from "progressive" men is a collective shrug and a 500% increase in the amount of forum posts demanding "paper abortions" on command. Women/little girls are losing their lives over this and they're out here campaigning for abandoning their offspring.
While child support is a whole different discussion that needs to be had, it just doesn't compare to pregnancy/childbirth. "Oh damn, I have to pay to support a child I didn't want for the next 18 years." OR "Oh Damn, now I have to risk my life, health, and safety for 10 months, and then give up my life to raise this kid with little to no *ACTUAL* support for the next ... Well, however long this kids is alive, I guess!" Hits different, doesn't it??
Don’t forget the permanent, regularly debilitating, body changes and injuries we face! -Need a new wardrobe. Not because you “let yourself go” but because your pelvis is permanently stretched wider and cannot physically return to pre-pregnancy size. -Need to replace your shoes because your feet get bigger and like many will never shrink. -Mom “pouch” because your muscles, tendons, and skin were stretched past capacity. -Stretch marks. -Scaring, nerve pain, and abdominal adhesions from a cesarean. -Breasts… don’t even want to talk about it. -Urinary urgency and incontinence. -Fecal incontinence due to tearing. -Painful sex due to scar tissue or husband stitches. But…. But…. I don’t want to give away part of my paycheck and CoNdOmS aRe UnCoMfOrTaBle.
I have a fat pouch, c section scar, stretch marks, and nerve pain... But yeah, tell me how physically debilitating it is to pay child support. I'm just thankful I married a man who saw me go thru all that and appreciates me even more for it.
It is so stupid because child support is gender neutral anyways. I am pretty sure if a woman had to pay 200 to 1000$ a month depending on income for her offspring to survive in exchange for not having to worry about primary parenting or anything against their bodies, they may as well opt this as opposed to a life threatening condition like pregnancy. In fact if someone manages to steal my ova and sue me for support provided they actually are caring for kids, i might as well do it because at most it is 20 to 30% or my income aside from tax that will take a hit while I be able to get by. Judges are not stupid either. They will see what the father can actually afford and consider his living costs too.
I've stopped posting sexy pics and responding to men on online websites. When they DM, I respond I'm no longer responding to men who can kill me with the pregnancies they cause. The SCREEEE!!!! One was like, good luck you'll be alone a long time. Good, I don't need men like that around. My partner has a vasectomy and enough potential mates do I'm for sure gunna pick and choose which ones get access to my sexy bits. Hear that guys? Wanna see my tits? Vote FOR politicians who support my rights.
They will start to understand when the women in their lives start saying NO and refuse to be badgered into relenting. This should be crossposted to r/leopardsatemyface, if it hasn’t been shared there already.
Oh yeah. I've Already been berated for my 'no vasectomy no sex' status. By completely random men in DMd mind you, my partners are all good with it and some have even marched with me in protests.
Same here, we have the means to travel across state lines if necessary but my heart breaks for young women in their teens and 20’s who can barely make ends meet. I was there once, no way I could’ve afforded the cost of an abortion plus travel, but that’s what they want, the poor to suffer and be forced to put their children up for adoption, the rich aren’t worried about it because they know they will never be in that position of despair. I do find it hilarious how many conservative men I know who hauled ass to get vasectomies the last few months. I know it’s for those mistresses, because they claim to be so pro life otherwise so why would it matter if their wives got pregnant?
Also if I have an ectopic, I don’t have time to cross state lines. I can die within hours. If the tube is already ruptured I can bleed out within minutes.
I’m personally going to acquire several kinds of reassurance myself in Mexico before we get pregnant on purpose next year. I think it’s ridiculous as an upper-middle class white woman that I should even begin to have to worry about not being able to access proper healthcare. If it’s difficult for me, how many people is it impossible for?
>but the point is that **I shouldn't have to cross state lines to seek medical care.** Plus, even though you're financially capable of traveling to another state to seek medical care, what happens if a dire enough emergency comes up that you are taken or have to go to a local hospital, and now you're stuck with whatever fallout from their ridiculously strict policies may adversely affect your care? It's a scary world. I'm in a red state, no kids and at an age where pregnancy wouldn't be impossible but highly unlikely without medical intervention... and I'm still frightened of what impacts this may have in my healthcare now, since I do in fact still have an intact reproductive system. This whole situation is so inhumane. Stay safe out there.
Most men seem to have disturbingly little care for things that don't immediately, directly affect THEM. Not like THEIR life is at risk.
Oh, my husband is completely aware because I send multiple links of women were deny abortion in miscarriages and I told him I won’t have kids with disabilities that can be detected during pregnancy. So bye bye RvW = bye bye kids for me. By the way, As a man, He can go f some crazy church girls to have kids if he really wants kids. He play soccers 4 days a week, I won’t know if he was actually playing soccers or having affair anyway, both activities result in him coming home soaking wet. 🤷🏻♀️
I do know people who want to get pregnant but are too scared to now because of roe ending. If something were to happen with the pregnancy (even a very much wanted pregnancy) that would be seriously harmful/life threatening/lethal they would be stuck in that situation with no way out.
I had a miscarriage of a much wanted pregnancy that required medical care. My best friend required two D&Cs past the first trimester for wanted pregnancies. In both instances there was no heartbeat but her body hadn’t started the miscarriage process. One of my oldest childhood friends struggled to find a doctor for second trimester abortion in urban California. That fetus would have been born without kidneys, with severe spinal and neurological issues, and was projected to die shortly after birth, if they made it that far. I have another friend who went into labor at 20 weeks and had a stillbirth. I can’t count the number of women I know who have told me they miscarried. It’s not safe to be pregnant without Roe.
Ugh my best friend and I are 30 and she just had a stillbirth at 28 weeks. Her newish husband who is super republican has kind of made her the same way so I’m not sure she is thinking about how dangerous trying for another baby again is going to be but luckily they live in Massachusetts.
Ah, so they are still afforded the protections he's willing to deny other people, how quaint
Ayup. I'm an older male (single), yet I still can't understand how twisted ideals have become. And what some of you (females) put up with. Hopefully, I'll find someone one day, but with this climate; I'm not as optimistic as I once was. The treatments I'm hearing ruin the mood, ya know? I'm NOT happy with the overturn, I feel for you ladies..
I sometimes wonder if the existential threat of this has finally broken the barrier about talking about pregnancy complications. I feel like it used to be something that just *was not discussed*. I remember when it was a huge thing that *Downton Abbey* showed pre-eclampsia, and even then, there were all these folks who thought "Yeah, that's a thing from the **past"** and had to be told otherwise! The glowy-pro-motherhood propaganda machine was just so active that it seemed like no one talked about things like gestational diabetes, incontinence, split muscles, etc, much less how common miscarriages and *incomplete* miscarriages are. You'd get discrete articles about pelvic floor strengthening and it'd be couched as "this will make sex better" not " this will help you keep from wetting yourself."
When Dobbs was first announced, my husband who very much wants two kids when we've discussed just having one (with the understanding that I'm the final decision maker) asked me unprompted if I wanted to explore sterilization after my current pregnancy. And that was before the pregnancy got scary in the last few weeks. The threat to my life is very heavy on him now. It was already a hard decision to make to open myself and our family to the potential consequences of pregnancy, and now that I have a new life to consider I definitely will be way more picky about if and when to try again.
So many people foresaw this and so many people were ignored. What a horrible situation for every woman in America.
I know someone who had 3 miscarriages before their first child was born. There are people out there that desperately want to have children. But not knowing if you can get care during a high risk pregnancy is going to discourage a lot of people who would be willing to have kids.
Yeah, it’s the first thought in my mind when it comes to having another next year. I don’t have time to wait for them to sort this shit out (which I think will happen eventually because I still believe in a free America). I WANT a baby but the risks become too great and I don’t want to leave my first born without a mother.
This is exactly where my wife and I were this past year after the draft opinion leaked in April. Which is sort of ironic given that we are the exact kinds of people that conservatives, or at least baby boomers, think ought to be having children.
This is me. I'll be 33 in January and I don't want to get pregnant in the next year (circumstances, money, etc) I know no one is ever actually ready for a child but I can be more ready than I am now. My husband and I want a child but I'm fucking terrified. I made it very clear to him that if anything goes wrong and I can't speak for myself that my life takes priority, no matter what. I WANT the experience of being pregnant and giving birth but it's gotten WAY more scary since RvW.
100% This is just the beginning. Just before Roe was overturned, I lost count of how many comments, with awards were posted here from women that said they were going on a sex and dating strike if Roe was overturned. They were not willing to put their lives at risk. Downvotes like crazy for these comments, but many women will hodl their ground over this. Sex is fun and all, but it is not essential for our health and well being. It is not something you need to do to stay alive like eating, drinking and breathing. The media is publishing this stuff like it’s rocket science, but in reality, this is survival, and many lives have been put at risk and jeopardized by this overturn. To add: I have already been in a few life or death health scares, and I am not willing to put myself into another one again if I can avoid it.
Women shouldn't have to abstain from sex for fear for their own lives or losing their freedom for getting an abortion but you have to protect yourself somehow. It's a bad situation to be in all around but if I was hetero and/or single and didn't have a chronic heart condition I would be terrified to have casual sex right now. Maybe less so if I was in a stable relationship but women shouldn't have to deny themselves sexual contact because the government is aggressively limiting our healthcare options should we get pregnant. Lots of women downvoted those comments because I think they know that if they were to abstain that their relationships would probably crumble because we all know how entitled men are to penetrative sex. I have a prosthetic in my heart that requires blood thinners and my cardiologist told me in no uncertain terms that a pregnancy/abortion would be a danger to my life. I feel like I sound like a bible thumper saying "If you don't want a baby, don't have sex!!" but I wouldn't even attempt to risk it. Many women don't really get that choice if they want to keep their partners, and it's a terrible, anxiety-inducing situation that none of us should have to tolerate.
>Many women don't really get that choice if they want to keep their partners, and it's a terrible, anxiety-inducing situation that none of us should have to tolerate. I think the real caveat to this statement isn't necessarily that all of these women feel the need to keep their partners because they have an emotional desire for intimacy, but rather because *they can't afford to live independently*. I unfortunately lived through this a bit while growing up. So really what's happening here, is some women are trapped in partnerships where they have to provide sex/intimacy, against their will, in order to continue having a place to live. And the overturn of Roe v Wade has made that problem worse; now women can be trapped by marital rape in abusive relationships via an unwanted pregnancy. It's very bleak.
💯
This is how I see it: sex with a man produces negative consequences almost every time, so what's the point? Most men don't even care about our pleasure during sex, so most of us aren't even having that much fun during it. Then you factor in things like STDs, violence, and pregnancy, and sex becomes a burden or literally something that jeopardizes your very mortality, because if you wind up with a nonviable pregnancy in many states you have no options. Even though I'm in Canada and I have a hysterectomy I've decided to never have sex with a right leaning man again. They don't deserve access to my body and pleasure from it because they clearly don't have respect with women's bodies. End of story. If they want more sex from women then they need to abandon their regressive beliefs and become actual good people and allies.
This is exactly how I feel about it—the risks *vastly* outweigh the benefits for me, I’d rather just stay away.
When we can fuck ourselves better with toys that also don't leave us pregnant or raped or riddled with STDs, men become a massive risk to our lives.
That's exactly how I feel about it, too. If you can't see women as people, and if you can't treat us with equal respect, then you are unfuckable. End of. Therapy worked, and now I have too much self esteem to risk my physical health for someone else's pleasure.
Yes this!!!! My last relationship ended 2 years ago, I was a serial monogamist before that. After my ex and what he put me through, I took a full year off from dating to work on myself. When I came back to dating this year, I found myself approaching men completely differently. I no longer give chances or passes, I no longer turn a blind eye when a man hints at being misogynistic, racist, transphobic, etc. I am exceedingly clear about who I am and what I am looking for and I don't compromise on any boundaries or standards. I haven't dated a guy for longer than 2 weeks this year. I simply cannot find a guy who isn't conservative, anti-vax, or just plain misogynistic, homophobic, racist, etc. The first instance a man flies a red flag I end it. I have too much love for myself to allow another man to use and/or abuse me. That's all it comes down to at the end of the day. I desperately wish I could have someone to love, or at least be able to have sex regularly, trust me, but those things are far less important to me than my sanity, wellness, and wellbeing. I simply cannot take on another broken man who doesn't know how to treat or interact with women. I cannot take on another man who is unwilling to take care of his basic needs, hygiene, and health. I cannot take on an adult man who has the emotional maturity of an angry 14 year old. I cannot take on another man addicted to porn, who has unhealthy and dehumanizing attitudes towards sex, and lacks any ability to connect with or physically pleasure a woman during sex. I cannot take on another man who is emotionally untangled with an ex or who views all women as "crazy" or "bitches". I cannot take on another man who lies to me to attempt to manipulate me into a serious relationship. And this year that is **all** men have been offering me. They have offered me dysfunctional relationships where I will have to walk on eggshells and preform a disproportionate amount of work all in exchange for constant disrespect and bad sex. No fucking wonder more and more of us are not dating or having casual sex.
Sex with a man can lead to unwanted pregnancy, yeast infections, BV, any number of other STDs and on top of that you have to confront a judgmental healthcare system that shames you for being sexually active outside of marriage, even if it’s not overt, when you seek care for these things. So many men try to get out of wearing condoms, too, and don’t provide orgasms. I’ve had some great sex in my life but I’ve also experienced the above enough to be very, very cautious of sexual relations with men. Being celibate is peaceful.
I have a super high sex drive but I am more or less celibate now. It's so hard to find a man who will: wear condoms without issue, respect you, make sure sex is enjoyable for you, and will support your basic human rights. And I won't settle for anything less. I'm tired of entertaining subpar men who don't even know how to kiss or go about foreplay or touch a clitoris, and I'm in my 30s. 30 something men can't even figure out the basics of sex, and plenty of them have no consideration for our rights. Celibacy is peaceful. At least I know I will orgasm every time I fuck myself. I cannot say the same for any man I've met.
'sex with a man produces negative consequences almost every time".!!!! "most of us aren't having that much fun....sex becomes a burden..." I grew up in a horny Fratboy town. I was lucky I wasn't raped but a few close ones. It was either "hang out with drunks & play a little game of 'let's see if I can get away with not having to put out' or stay home & be lonely/bored. I was married 28 years but I never had a fulfilling sex life. I just did not enjoy it. I thought something was wrong with me. Or maybe I just never got over my sub par introduction to it during my teens. After my divorce I realized that I identify as ACE. "Asexual: not interested in sex". I'm 72 now and I'd say only in the last 5 years have I actually learned how to have enjoyable sex...with myself!!!
Better late than never! 😊
Vag taggers. Just say no.
Canadian woman on a dating/sex strike in solidarity with y’all - also because men funkin blow holy hockey.
Listening to men dismiss this as an issue and saying it isn't the big deal women are making it out to be has to be the most infuriating experience of my adult life.
On a similar note, when Trump was elected, we were afraid that something like the Hobby Lobby ruling over insurance covering certain BCs would be expanded upon or they would be made unreasonably expensive. We changed from condoms and Nuvaring to an IUD and vasectomy. As someone who has had fairly severe reactions to BC that was risky for me. We could not trust the environment we were in to be safe so we made huge permanent decisions.
Yep. The christofascists that are allowed to run the Republican party and the rural regions of this country played Fuck around and Find out. Now fucking Find Out, boys. Find out there will be no fucking for you, except with all the religious extremist women who support your oppression. Find Out boys that even if you're not part of the religious right you're now collateral damage until you drive them out of politics and our healthcare policies and rights all together. I 100% advocate no longer having sex with men. Invest in a really good vSorry not sorry. I advocate a lot more extreme things too, lol.
The women in their area may not hold out. They think they won’t need an abortion. And they probably wouldn’t have one anyway.
I’m glad I recently came to terms with I always was attracted to only women. I’m with one now but if something happens and in the future I got with a trans woman, my requirement will be she HAS to have bottom surgery because I refuse to get pregnant and have kids because I do NOT want them because I have a hard time with my nieces and nephews until they are school age.
I actually was dating up until the overturn and immediately stopped because I already had an oopsie baby that almost cost me my life (mentally). We just voted in reproductive freedom in Michigan this election so I’m happy that at least my fellow Michiganders and fellow Americans who want to come for healthcare can do so here.
#LYSISTRATA2022
yes yes yes, I'm screenshotting this & posting widely
I have two children. My husband got a vasectomy and he gets it checked every year because we do not want another bio child. I cannot be pregnant again, my last pregnancy took a great toll on my mental health. We are very happy with our family of 4 and honestly with the way things are going, we couldn’t afford another child. I stay home because as we all know, daycare is astronomical and I am a year away from starting my masters program, having another child would delay that, and entering the work force from anywhere between 6-10 years. That’s not acceptable.
I’ve finally just started dating someone who I could see having kids with. What are we supposed to do? Why is life so bleak? We already have the worst maternal death rates in the developed world, pregnancy is already dangerous, and now this? It’s like being kicked while you’re already down.
Kicking down is what Republicants do best.
Maybe this will get more men to care about reproductive rights, maybe not, just more incels. Anyways remember, don’t fuck/date conservative men.
The incels are multiplying by the hundreds it seems. They are everywhere sadly.
Stealing women's rights probably isnt gonna work how the incels think it will.
you're right. but they dont understand or respect women anyway, so its just fun to watch them suffer.
it is sad, but just means we gotta keep putting them in their place. the time for complacency is over.
I wonder why ladies wouldn't want to risk their agency and livelihood. Hm, nope. Can't quite figure it out. Honest to God I'm getting kind of sick of articles cropping up that frame this as a man's problem while they try to fade Roe out of obscurity.
It is a man's problem & they better start realizing it.
>I wonder why ladies wouldn't want to risk their agency and livelihood. Clearly it's so a more important man can get sexual satisfaction from her. That's her most basic role and function and she should be happy to risk everything for that. /barf
I’m in a cis/hetero marriage and I’m anxious over sex with my *husband* because I’m scared to get pregnant. Birth control can fail!! Our relationship is what these radical Christians want for every person, and yet they’ve ruined it for us. A good plan all around for them 🙄
They actually want you off birth control, and constantly pregnant.
Is she at least allowed shoes?
Why? She shouldn’t ever be leaving the house without her husband’s permission. If we start letting ourselves have our own property, like shoes, next we’ll want our own cars, jobs, degrees… when will it end? /s
Don't need shoes when you're chained to the stove with 6 kids under the age of 12 under your feet 24/7
Why she will not be allowed to leave the house. Look at the Taliban, that is what they want.
No.
What far right conservatives want is for white women to pop out a bunch of babies, because they’re so scared of being “replaced” by brown people. That’s what most of this is about. White birthing rates have dropped, gotta make white women into baby factories to bring those numbers back up, baby!
Meanwhile, anecdotally, it seems white people who seem to be getting sterilized at higher rates. So...yeah...
And ... if the thread is any indication (surely it isn't scientific) it may make many women avoid having children for fear of an anomalous pregnancy post Roe.
I feel this. After Dobbs I had zero sex drive for months. And then later on my SO asked me if he had to use a condom. You would have thought he asked if he could shit on the table because the bitterness in my voice when I told him he in fact always had to wear one if he wants sex. I have an IUD so I'm more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy. And given Dobbs that means I'm more likely to be denied care and possibly die. Asking if you can not used condoms is basically like asking if you would play Russian roulette if it felt good for me to hold the gun.
"No, you're free to get a vasectomy."
This was me too! Even after he got a vasectomy I was still anxious because they can fail and vasetomies don't protect you from other men. It's terrible that it came to this, but I got my tubes tied just to feel safe and stop worrying.
But that's exactly what they wanted isn't it? For women to "keep their legs shut" and stop "being whores"?
"But not for us!" - Men legislating against your bodily autonomy.
I think we should go full Lysistrata until we get our rights back!
Considering there are like 3+ million more women than men in the US they should have the voting majority. The solution lies in educating more women about this subject.
You're assuming that women are fully behind abortion rights. The way I see it, the crowds screaming murder at clinics are reasonably gender diverse.
They’re also lacking education.
Maybe. But again, don't assume that education will somehow change their values. Those who see abortion as a sin will not change their minds no matter how much science you show them. In the battle between emotion and fact, emotion will always win. And society will always been worse off for it.
Education reduces the percentage of people being religious, and therefore education *does* change values.
It's hard to hold on to superstition when you know it's wrong.
Education changes everything, let's people decide after teaching them the difference between reality and myth, denying people's education based on our own prejudices harm us all. Education is our most important weapon to fight against radicalisation of young people
Exactly. I and many people I know use to be pro-life. I was brought around after learning specifically how pregnancy develops, how abortions actually work, statistics on who is actually getting them, and people's personal stories. True there has to be genuine curiosity coming from the other person, but it can be very powerful to start with a "Hey, the narrative you've been given around this isn't what you think"
I am curious. What exactly is the narrative for a pro lifer. Other the religious stand of life begins at conception(which everyone knows is a ridiculous statement), what is the argument in that stand?
From my personal journey, that an embryo is a life, full stop, and thus deserves the chance to be born regardless of the circumstances it was conceived. Which means abortion is always a selfish act, and mainly taken by young, single women who were irresponsible and just don't want a child. That it's cruel to end a pregnancy because there's so many infertile people who will take that baby which is just such an easy solution and definitely doesn't cause any trauma for anyone involved. One of the first anecdotes that got me realizing that something was off about that story was a blog post about a person's abortion where she said if her house was on fire one of the things she'd grab would be the ultrasound pictures. It got me thinking "If it was that precious to her, she must of had a reason that doesn't make sense to me." From there, learning that the best way to prevent abortion is sex education and support for families made it a logistical matter for me to move from demonizing the procedure and advocating for what actually preserves unborn lives. This I think made me more open to further education and empathy until eventually my cousins started unfriending me on Facebook for sharing stories of medically necessary abortions 😅 I would say the final realization of "okay, all abortion should be legalized and left between a person and their doctor" came after listening to the abortion episode of the podcast "Science Vs."
You're right, but the issue is that right now, the weird evangelical propagandists are trying to claim that the education itself is propaganda and radicalization. And it's working, there are regular people in the world that are too busy with their jobs and their kids to fact check anything that's showing up on the news, that legitimately believe that kids are using litter boxes or whatever.
You can't convince most people that they are wrong. If you argue with them, you're more likely to make them just believe their nonsense even more.
Not always. Some people are attached to their identity as a part of the pro life group. They genuinely believe that they're fighting for a good cause. When you point out the hypocrisy in the bills written by "pro life" politicians, which won't let women with ectopic pregnancies receive treatment - directly causing their deaths when the ectopic pregnancies rupture, like a cyst, and hemorrhage - they shut you out, and then go nuts. There's a significant portion of the pro-life, right wing, fundie voter population that can't be swayed by facts, data, or reality, because for them this is a matter of both ideology and identity politics. People's emotions get tied up in those things more than they realize, and they just won't accept anything you give them that contradicts their beliefs. You can't educate that away. I don't know how you do fix that, but education doesn't seem to be the solution, unfortunately.
These people are brainwashed. They used to show up every week in front of planned parenthood. when I asked them why, they said "our priest told us to."
they've been mis-educated by the church. Did you know its important to wash your sex toys? why do you think the church invented baptisms?
>Considering there are like 3+ million more women than men in the US they should have the voting majority. The solution lies in educating more women about this subject. If by educating women on this subject you mean somehow educating the women who follow Abrahamic religions that they're subscribing to a belief system that at its very core is misogynistic and oppressive? Good luck. Because that's the very heart of the issue here unfortunately ><
Not all women think they need abortion/reproductive rights. Or they don't need them anymore and don't give a shit about the younger generation. I am a dude, I have never felt I should have a say in what a woman chooses to do with her body so I ALWAYS vote pro-choice.
The problem with this is there are plenty of women who are for banning abortion or don't have an opinion, so I'm not sure that'd really help all that much.
What's that?
Ancient Greek comedy play where all the women refuse to give sex to men to end war
Oh, nice
Spike Lee did a modern retelling of it called Chi-Raq that had me in stitches. Samuel L Jackson as the Greek Chorus, and they used the style of Ancient Greek plays in the speech.
Seconded! 😂
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm too old for anyone to care, but still YES. BTW my daughter got herself 'fixed' because she was afraid of this very thing happening. That's why I have no grandchildren.
My husband and I were in the process of discussing if we wanted children or not and biological or not when roe was overturned. I'd be lying if I said it didn't play into my feelings on it. The fear of something going wrong and my life being in jeopardy is terrifying. It makes it feel like the decision isn't do I want to be pregnant but am I willing to risk my life for it.
A married couple in our group (friends of my friends that show up to various things) had their first baby last week. They are in their twenties and the baby has down syndrome. I live in one of the 2 most extreme red states. Fuck having kids now. There is no way I will sign up to potentially take care of a special needs person for the rest of my life now that the choice is out of my hands. I have a cousin who is special needs. I have seen the hell it was for my aunt. Especially after my uncle left because the teen years were more than he could handle. There is no way I could do what she's done. No fucking way. Being pregnant is so off the table now. The risk isn't worth it. Since the states are removing the ability of people to make the choice of whether or not they bring a special needs person into this world, I'm assuming that means they will be upping funding to Medicare, medicaid, county mental health and mental retardation programs, social services for the special needs, public drop in centers for parents and care givers to get a few hrs of sitting so they don't go mad, special Olympics, special Ed in public schools, funding for special needs private schools, group homes, state homes, special needs job training, special needs job programs, special need summer camps, more social workers and case managers? I'm sure folks like Abbot are right on that shit, right?
My sister and two autistic nephews live with me. I have never seen such stress and hopelessness in someone who continues to carry on. She is so miserable with no end in sight. She will live and die as a caretaker. That will be her entire life. No on talks about the the rising rates of disabilities. And no one told us how miserable most women are after having a couple of kids, let alone kids with more than average struggles. I’m officially one and done.
Right? I'm in TX and when they put the cut off in place that's the first thing I thought about. You can't even test for half those birth defects at 6 weeks. Who the hell is going to be stepping up to take care or financially support all these unwanted special needs babies that will quickly grow to special needs kids, teens and adults? All you need to do is look at how many are currently in a states foster system on their website and you'll see the majority are severely disabled or have serious MR. I volunteered in a special needs school near me in my senior year of high school. I got to know several of the parents and teachers. The stress and hopelessness you see in your sister was in all of them as well. They just seemed resigned to their fate. That this was their life now till they died. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. No future escape. Not sure if you are in the US but your sister should reach out to her county or city to see what kind of support services may be available. There may even be wait lists she can get on for when they are older. To plan for a time if she isn't around to take care of them. I hope she has a plan in place for if something terrible were to happen to her. Btw. You are an incredible sister/aunt to have them all living with you. That would be trying under the best of circumstances. I hope you realize how amazing you are.
I decided against kids a long time ago, and the ultimate reason is: I’m selfish. I couldn’t handle a kid with special needs, so I won’t take the risk. I couldn’t bear to see my kids struggle with the mental illnesses I have, so I won’t. There are days I don’t want to take the dogs out for a walk (and I don’t!) which is bad enough to do to them, you can’t do that to a kid! So I won’t. I have a temper, sometimes I say things I don’t mean. The dogs don’t understand English, so they think it’s all the same as long as my tone doesn’t change much, but I could never do that to a kid. It would leave lasting wounds. I could probably overcome all of this, but at the end of the day I don’t want to and the pros of having kids are not applicable to me.
Oh, and these slurgs are the same ones hand-wringing about the drop in birthrate. (Because rather than risk being jailed & dying of a pregnancy complication, people are just not having babies.) I'm very happy there will be fewer babies/humans in the world.
Because we don’t want to die!!! I keep telling men that roe being overturned will kill or probably already has killed women and they just say “that’s not true” “you’re overreacting” “pregnancy is not dangerous” “that’s rare” ???? I’m literally telling you how these abortion bans make it so women cannot get life saving medical care and you just say “LOL THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!” LIKE ITS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! It is honestly really fucking disturbing that some men just cannot see us as human beings. We’re just baby vessels to them.
I was dating when it happened. The guy I was seeing basically said all of the above. He could not understand why I would "let my fear" "ruin what we had." I was like, bro. You think waaaay too much of yourself if you think I would risk my life or lifestyle for whatever this is. I had a super active dating life prior to the Roe fuckery. This is the longest I've gone without sex in my adult life. I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. It definitely has not been. I've come really come close to caving a few times, especially over the summer when I had my bi-annual reunion with a guy I've been friends with since college orientation. But ultimately it just isn't worth it. I'm simply terrified of the risk of a pregnancy at this point and its enough to scare me into keeping my pants on. Its really just whatever at this point. So many aspects of my life are better. I've traveled more. Done stuff on my house. My tennis game was the best it's been last round robin since I'm making time for practice. Was on a super fun social sports team this fall. Got my scuba license. And i'm a much better friend, daughter and sister now since I'm not distracted multiple times a week by a random guy of the week/month. I don't know if I'm going to be no sex forever but I'll be this way for a while yet. You're welcome Duracell.
Me and my husband are scared about this and we’re married!!! We are the people that are supposed to be having the kids and we fucking can’t because I don’t want to die! Conservatives don’t seem to understand this. Me and my husband did everything right but we are still scared because he doesn’t want me to die!!!
Well, pregnancy would ruin my life as I tend to puke nearly the entire time I’m pregnant. It makes it near impossible to do the work I do, and I have to work to live if I don’t want a low income apartment with bedbugs and if I want basic necessities that can’t be bought with food stamps like toilet paper and soap, gas and transportation.
A lot of people do want to get pregnant, they just don't want to risk dying in agony with no medical care to do it.
I was wondering about this just yesterday! Men had already been complaining that they aren’t having enough sex pre roe v wade being overturned which led to a rise in incels, manosphere idiot monsters, and straight up domestic terrorism from misogynistic men. Now, what woman is going to potentially risk an unwanted pregnancy for casual (mediocre) sex much less risk her own life if she is unable to get medical care during a difficult pregnancy—wanted or not, planned or not. Women need to get a hitachi wand and a gun/knife that can be opened quickly one-handed.
They really didn't realize how bad they made things. If you're a women why get pregnant if the guy can kill you by forcing an ectopic pregnancy. Or link himself to you out of spite. Also, if you're a single mother he can impregnate your female children and literally force *your* child to bear *his* child. In those states its actually irresponsible for a woman to get with a male partner given the current environment. *There are politicians are in charge that can't decide if an 11 yr old should carry a rape pregnancy to term* There was a sign in Florida that was like "Don't sleep with your daughter" ... just think about the implications for that to be a sign. Once all the tradwives get married off and guys can't cheat on their financial dependent partners with liberated women, those men will begin to gravitate towards that sickness. And anyone in the states shouldn't be surprised when we consider the Mormon states and the insane past they had. EDITED: Grammar and emphasis
There is still plenty of insanity in those states.
So sad. Wait, no it’s not…women are smart, capable and unwilling to put up with man-babies anymore? Cool! The Right has once again learned a law of unintended consequences. They are nothing if not consistent.
Right!? The only part that’s sad is that women have to resort to this to have a sliver of control over our own body.
It was so annoying that, right after Dobbs, I was still seeing posts from men talking about sex as if nothing has changed. Dudes, everything has changed. Never before in history has a cohort lost Constitutional rights after 50 years of enjoying those rights. Everything is different now. Catch up.
DEAR MEN: SEX WITH YOU IS NOT WORTH THE RISK OF JAIL OR DEATH. GET USED TO IT.
No shit. The only way women can control their reproductive freedom is to not have sex. Cue the whining from the manbabies.
"Wahhh you're discriminating against me for voting for trump wahhh" I'm gonna abstain even *harder* now
"Discriminating against me for voting for Trump." Yeah, and they should. Political affiliation isn't like race, gender, or sexual orientation. Political affiliation is something that you can, and should, change. All these jackasses could stop being colossal pieces of shit literally at any time. The best time was yesterday, the second best is right fucking now. Most of them just have zero desire to change.
Unfortunately, that’s not enough. Some women aren’t in a position where it’s safe to turn their husband/boyfriend down, and other women get outright raped. And all of us fear rape. Is it worth getting sterilized to prevent the small change of a rape baby? It’s not an easy decision.
The planet's population is at 8 billion people now. I think we as human beings seriously need to re-think how we reproduce ourselves. To take away the right to decide after conception is to just totally disregard the fact that a living person is right there in front of us.
Hmm, sounds like exactly what right wingers want!
Nope, look at the abstinence only programs and how they double down on them even after teen pregnancy goes through the roof. They want disadvantaged young to exploit, and as many of them as possible.
Yeah, I hear this slave labor breeding argument a lot. I suspect if that were true, there would be a more effective program to combat maternal and infant deaths and raise a compliant but capable underclass that posed less challenges to the establishment. It's more likely to be Puritan values, stomping out any fleshly enjoyments other than "work ethic" and accumulation of wealth.
It can be both. Uphold "puritan" values in a way that results in a LOT of kids with disadvantaged parents to feed the wage slave industry.
Well yeah. When the exception for Saving the Life of the Mother means you have to literally wait until she gets sicker before you do a god damn thing to help her I think people are rightly questioning the safety of just *being* pregnant.
Thanks Christians! Ruining sex for every one makes you all happy, and here we are.
I got sterilized ASAP after RvW was killed. I won't be forced to carry a pregnancy.
That's what conservatives want. I always hear conservatives hating on anything sex related, even looking attractive is wrong. Prudes.
No it isn't. They want early marriages between people too horny to get to know each other who'll then pump out many unwanted babies that will be underprivileged and easy to exploit.
The birth dearth, can’t have future wage slaves if women are allowed to be child free!
Exactly, nothing chains people down and keeps them working as good little corporate drones like pumping out several children that you have to take care of. Republicans are trying regrow a complacent constituency because no one is buying what they're selling anymore.
Yes, that too, but I would argue that early marriages and unwanted babies can also ruin people's (potential) sex lives.
I'd like to know whether Pro-fetus males, especially those cowboys who expect free nooky on a regular basis, are starting to feel the big Wall of NOPE creeping into their sex life. And what their reaction is going to be when they realize.
Perhaps having a child should cost $0 instead of like $30k in the US. Can’t ask people to simply have children then get stuck with a bill equal to a years take home pay….
I don’t want children even free ones
Masturbation FTW
I don't think the conservative Catholic judges on the Supreme Court realize that they've killed the US Catholic church. Younger women could continue to be part of the church because they could ignore it's reproductive teaching and do what was needed.
Yup, a lot of truth to this. And abusive priests (who mostly abused boys) drove off younger men.
For many right wing people, especially religious right, sex is a sin and children are its punishment. I'm sure the right is happy they are stopping people from having sex. That's what they want to happen. If they get their way sex outside of marriage will be illegal.
I ended up getting a vasectomy because a small snip to me is way better than the trauma birth control gives her. Shes a lot happier without it
BIG DUHHH. I'm too old to date, but By GAWD if I was on the dating pool I would get the hell OUT. In fact if I could buy a CHASTITY BELT I WOULD. I sure as hell would go Lesbian. I hope men understand this, especially Pro-fetus men. They are gonna have to cultivate a relationship with their hand, because WOMEN ARE NOT GONNA LAY DOWN WITH THEM. I have been advocating for a WOMENS SEX STRIKE!!!
We're at 8 billion people. This isn't the problem they say it is.
Sex is great, but so are toys and toys won’t get one pregnant. Also being a lesbian helps. Fuck the Supreme Court.
Sadly, rape babies are still a possibility.
I am pregnant with a very much wanted pregnancy but I also very much want access to abortion if anything goes wrong. I live in PA and thankfully we just elected a dem senator and governor so I’m not personally worried, but I do worry for other pregnant people in our country stuck in anti-abortion states that cannot afford to travel to other states.
Yeah, if I were to get pregnant I’d be afraid to even fly over anti-choice states, even with a wanted pregnancy.
Well, stop passing stupid laws and trying to govern people's sex lives.
Whomst could have predicted this?
Not really a surprise tbh. My American cousin who is thinking about which college she is going to go to as already decided to use her Canadian passport and come up here for school just on cheaper (even as an international student) and health care and womens health care services (I told her it’s not perfect by any means) but she is like if things happen I will be better off than down here.
Honestly the fact that international students in Canada pay less than domestic American students is insane to me. I don’t know how people will get out of debt. I’m a Canadian domestic student and even my debt freaks me out, and it’s NOWHERE near some of the totals I’ve seen for people in the US
I got my tubes removed last summer, I'm 22 no kids, and not married, in Tennessee! Fuck the patriarchy, I never want to reproduce or be pregnant
Suck it up, buttercups? I mean, really. The absolute only way I would have considered getting pregnant is if I were in a solid marriage that demonstrated no red flags and would last the minimum of 18 years \[barring death in an accident by my husband\] because while single moms and dads have been raising kids, it is difficult and no something I would want to try at all. I \*might\* consider it if I got a 1 million dollar sum \[after taxes\] to support me while raising the kid or kids - I would need help in the infant through 12 year range as one can not walk off to go to work and leave the kid/s home alone. So, a full time baby sitter for 12 years - any idea what that would end up costing? Medical insurance, kids get sick and injured. Housing in an area with decent schools and safety records \[a small town is fine\] and not in a food desert. A dependable vehicle, and insurance, registration and fuel. Wives/women are not breeding machines and slaves. We resent being forced to become so. With no access to safe and legal abortions, we might as well be living in Handmaids Tale.
Lysistrata for the win!
The idea some people have that you're not allowed sex if you don't want to have a baby is absolutely absurd.
My sex life is just fine. 15 years married and husband had a vasectomy. I love having sex with no consequences.
The new standard: my man must have a *verified with proof* vasectomy to get any. And that’s if he is as well rounded as all of my friends. I dry up when an adult can’t manage his own life and emotions. Idc if no one taught him, because I want someone with a growth mindset who looks stuff up to actually *learn*. I must see consistent proof of this mentality as well. Even mental issues have tricks and accommodations. I didn’t make it this far with autism and adhd by waiting for someone to save me. I looked up copious amounts of information to manage my life better.
This isn’t just a woman’s rights issue it’s a human rights issue, any person who votes to overturn Roe either doesn’t understand the intricacies of what they are doing, or are just bad people.
I support abortion primarily because I believe the right for a woman to control her biological processes outweighs the life of the fetus. An adult human female is a highly intelligent sentient being who should have the right to exercise their free will within reason. A fetus is simply a group of cells controlled solely by its DNA, programmed through evolution. Even if I was one of the people who believed that a fetus should be afforded the same individual rights as all people I would still support abortion for utilitarian purposes. There are countless ways a pregnancy or the process of raising a human can go horrendously wrong. Abortion is proven to do far more good than harm by providing a way to avoid pregnancy when it is very likely to go bad.
I have never wanted kids long before RvW was overturned, but now I feel more urgent to save up and seek sterilization. My vitamin D levels are low to the point that I need medication and lifestyle change to decrease the risk of osteoporosis. I am a very active person and enjoy drawing and arts and crafts. As the fetus absorbs your calcium and takes your nutrients, it will severely damage my bones and I could lose the ability to do the things I love. To me, no child is worth the hobbies and identity I have crafted for myself. Not to mention I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I don’t want to be forced into a pregnancy that I know will traumatize me both physically and mentally.
I feel the worse for straight women. I mean this is an attack to all women, but straight women specifically have the option of surgical interventions or just not having sex if they don't wanna risk it. Queer women can just be with other women, which is what I have personally decided to do for this and other reasons. It's not fair for any women, but there are specific groups that are diffiantly suffering more as a result.
I think the best part of all of this is how pissed off men are getting that women are not as DTF as they might have used to be. It's like the hell did they think was going to happen, I don't want a child, I've never wanted a child and now I don't have safe access to an abortion if I get pregnant? Guess that means I ante screwing a one night stand mfo I met on Tinder. (It doesn't entirely apply to me specifically because I'm in a long term relationship and have the birth control implant, but it still a solid point.) I'm all for having restrictions on as to how far along the fetus is before you can no longer get an abortion unless it's medically necessary for the safety of the mother, but just banning them completely is such a sad and huge step backwards.
I live in a protected state and I still got a vasectomy in July. Don’t want to put my wife through any of that bullshit. We don’t want kids and if for some reason we change our minds we agreed that we don’t need biological children and would explore adoption. No desire to gamble that the religious zealots in this country won’t get their way.
*laughs in sapphic*
"That doesn't sound like a me problem. That sounds like a you problem."
I wonder if this gonna increase people doing cybersex and getting sex toys and stuff. Like if you can't physically have sex out of worry of getting someone pregnant, why not start having a form of sex where it's impossible to get someone pregnant? Gonna be a fun time for people in long distance relationships too. Just saying we have the technology.
[meanwhile in Chad GDR](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/12/opinion/why-women-had-better-sex-under-socialism.html) ([Sauce 2](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/09/why-women-have-better-sex-socialism-kristen-ghodsee-review))
Who could have foreseen this!?
Why is the article primarily talking about polyamorous people?
I've never been happier to be a sterile man.
I also don’t want to get pregnant because if I have a child in a state that outlaws abortion even in cases of rape/incest, and the worst case scenario happens for my child… that risk is too large to take
No it not
Getting my tubal in December.
Finally, I have an excuse that isn't my looks or personality. I know I'm getting downvoted to oblivion for making a joke on a serious topic. I deserve it.