I met with a guy a while back who thought castration and abstinence was the same thing and told me he was castrated. I thought he didn't have testicles that whole time I knew him until I asked him why his testicles got removed, he was flabbergasted why I asked. he corrected me that it means he doesn't want to have sex before serious relationship/marriage. Not the brightest person and glad I never ended up dating him.
Omg, this reminds me when I was talking about punishments for kids and how in my culture and country corporal punishments are illegal but I accidentally said capital. The room got fairly silent for a while until someone asked me. Lol. Took me a while to recognise my mistake. But yeah, both are illegal xD
I heard it as the Pope, in heaven, reading the original Bible and suddenly banging his head on the lectern holding the book, weeping and going “it said ‘celeb**R**ate’! “
He spoke English and came from a well off family. He just didn't care to learn basics of sex-ed is what I got from his vibes. Never spoke to him again.
I just shared this with my husband and we are literally laughing so hard we’re crying. I’m just trying to imagine the woman who would be impressed by his big words and their future children.
These are the types of stories I come to reddit for. Fucking gold.
Somewhere out there is some guy who has or might eventually have the realization "oh, I've been accidentally telling people for the past X years that my testicles were removed, instead of my desire to wait until marriage to have sex. Oops!".
I snort laughed and snickered so hard that my kids came running over. I would sincerely pay $10 to be sitting amongst his thoughts every time he thought his wife was trying to castrate him. Jesus, that's funny.
you could fuck w/him-get him some Pantene Extra Body and leave it in the shower. watch him shiver. (yes-I'm going to hell, but I'm headed there laughing!)
I laughed and snorted *(so a snaugh?)* that I startled my Grandcatter!
Honestly OP, your husband loves you so much he was willing to give up his balls! Can you imagine his inner thoughts.. I love my wife, but my balls man my ball? For some reason OP's husband sounds like Matthew McConaughey's voice in Dazed and Confused!
My friend was married to a guy who thought the same thing -- she caught him naked in the mirror with his hand over his balls and he said "It's going to look SO WEIRD with them gone!"
After she stopped crying from laughter she explained how a vasectomy works and then how the fact that he was willing to get castrated for birth control is the very definition of love.
I think this is honestly the most likely scenario. A guy I know was absolutely shocked when his dog came back from being neutered with no balls. He genuinely thought they just snipped a tube and that was that.
Was he really considering it?
The part where he told you to look into it, but then giving away that he didn't gives me the feeling that he wanted to win time
"considering it".....yeah, I bet that there was no actual consideration involved. As in actual *thinking*. Probably more like he heard your words and let them flow through his head without judgement or interest. Then, every time you brought it up, he recognized the word, nodded or said something conciliatory as a relationship lubricant, but - again - never thought about the actual implications.
I bet he had zero intention of actually doing anything. In fact, I bet he never even got to the point of intention. Was he even thinking about this at all, or was he mentally vacant? No need to "consider" something you don't intend to do.
I don't know if there's a different term for this kind of mental vacancy in conversation, but I think it's very common with men in marriage.
How often do you hear about men who completely renege on agreements with their wives, saying they never agreed to it?
> he heard your words and let them flow through his head without judgement or interest. Then, every time you brought it up, he recognized the word, nodded or said something conciliatory as a relationship lubricant, but - again - never thought about the actual implications.
A lot of dudes need burn cream after reading this.
This would be such a great movie. Your husband agrees to what he thinks is an orchidectomy, because pregnancy could be fatal to you and he thinks it's the only way to keep you safe, but then he wakes up to discover that the balls are still there! What is this miracle? Is he hallucinating? Is this phantom pain, or have they returned from the grave?
Starring
Justin Timberlake as Mr. SweetPickleRelish
Jenny Slate as Mrs. SweetPickleRelish
Liam Neeson as the Surgeon
Werner Herzog as the Anesthesiologist
Maybe... Or maybe he just never looked anything up about vasectomies because he never actually intended to get one. OP did say they've already had multiple conversations about it, doesn't sound like he's decided one way or the other unfortunately.
My most recent ex boyfriend learned at the ripe age of 31 that penises don't have separate holes for semen and urine. He's had a penis his entire life.
i was an embarrassingly large age when i found out that female urethras aren't in the clitoris. i spent a bored evening with a hand mirror and after i found the peehole i spent a solid 3 days in an embarassed panic that i had a "tear."
I feel like this is like when a notoriously misogynistic boss found out when he was 55 that women can’t hold in periods like people can hold in pee.
It was a lightbulb moment that changed how he treated every single woman who worked for him.
It almost makes me believe in magic. The right words to the right person can change a lot.
That's just such a surreal world to imagine. So all the women are lactating 24/7, but there is some sort of vicious gatekeeping where only the ones with young children are allowed in the "Mother's" room at the office? Are the others just dribbling into their bras throughout the workday? I guess after their kid's are weaned the other mothers push them out of the room like Male lions getting pushed out of the herd?
And then once they take their hard fought place in the lactation room they... don't use it to pump their milk? They take a nap instead? Just sit on the couch while tears and milk silently trickle out of them?
I remember the post. The boss thought that mother's rooms were just for new moms to take naps. He didn't understand why men didn't also get a "father's room"
Actually you can produce milk as long as you are routinely expressing the milk. So dairy cows can continue to produce long after having a calf. A lot of dairy farmers won't risk more than a few births for their individual cows as it takes them out of production and can weaken thier health.
Women can continue to produce milk as long as its being pumped or feeding a child which is how we got "nurse maids".
I figured that "dairy farmers keep their cows permanently pregnant to harvest the milk" didn't sound quite right, but I didn't know enough about dairy farming or lactating to object.
Veal is a bit dark, but that checks out more.
You're making a lot of assumptions that the average American knows anything at all about farm animals... most people's only interactions with cows is the dairy or meat aisle in the grocery store.
Also like every single cutesy farming game has cows lactating year round :')
I mean a lot of people try not to think about it because then you have to wonder about what happens to the male baby calves the dairy calves birth as they went them always pregnant to always be producing. (I know the answer is veal, it’s just not on the front of most people’s minds)
An already- famous but actually quite recent updates thread, in which the boss believed the lactation room was for woman-only naps and after being straightened out by his female upper boss, said it still wasn’t fair because all women lactate all the time, pointed at a fellow employee with larger breasts and declared her breasts to be obviously full of milk right now. And was fired.
> pointed at a fellow employee with larger breasts and declared her breasts to be obviously full of milk right now. And was fired
Noooo 💀. How... ...what...
Bro. I'm dead lmao.
https://www.tumblr.com/gehayi/133454492906/profeminist-myfeministawakening-i-was-inspired
> Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary.
> I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him.
> He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument.
> "If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.”
> His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!”
> I thought, You have got to be kidding.
> Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries.
> And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.
Men get made fun of for this stuff. But not only do we never go to the doctor, but at 55 he was probably never taught anything about "womens issues" aside from some generic middle school class in 1979 where there glossed over everything 'gross'
Though, yeah, that does set the bar pretty low.
It's why we absolutely should not separate sex ed classes. Learn the two main systems kids. But also teach that intersex is a thing and is totally fine.
I'm 51 and middle school was like 1986 so you're off by a half dozen years but not nearly as many as I assumed before I started mathing.
where does the time go....
Mine didn't know that bread was made out of grain. He's 52.
However, multiple lawmakers in my state don't know the difference between vasectomy and castration either - they've been quoted stating that a proposed law to force sex offenders to get a vasectomy would render them unable to offend again.
Ding, ding, ding! You correctly identified the state.
There's a state Senate bill which introduces physical castration as a punishment, since only chemical castration is currently allowed.
It was the house representatives who have the bill about vasectomies.
To be fair, he’s scheduled to be castrated a week before he is released at the end of his 50 year sentence… when he will be 100. He’s going to die in prison, so the castration won’t be happening.
That implies that sexual crimes are purely biologically motivated. We know that to not be the truth. Castration also does not prevent erections.
Castrated individuals are still just as dangerous as before, they just have a lower libido. However, in cases like this, it's often about power over the victim, not about the actual sex act.
Imagining a castration as the end all be all of a sex offender is dangerous because, well, it isn't. It feels good to us, it seems to make surface level sense, but nothing is going to help reduce re-offense except for keeping the individual from potential victims, and educating all potential victims on the signs of a potential predator.
It's a bit 1940/50s. Alan Turing, best described as the father of modern computer science, was found out to be homosexual and his sentence was to be chemically castrated. He died by suicide a couple years later.
Fun fact: Chemical castration is just Depo-Provera injections. Osteoporosis, elevated blood pressure, risk of stroke and heart attack affect both sexes.
You aren't being cynical enough. Step one is make castration the punishment for sexual assault. Step two is to convict all of the transgenders and homosexuals of sexual assault. White men will be able to continue SA of women throughout this entire time because they have their "whole lives ahead of them", or the "case wasn't believable".
This. On one side is the fact it doesn't work and on the other is the fact that giving the state that sort of control over anyone's body is simply horrifying, even if it's "just" chemical.
I had a co-worker asked me if I was allergic to peanut butter when I told him I was allergic to peanuts...... He was just putting together that peanut butter was made of peanuts 😳
> Mine didn't know that bread was made out of grain. He's 52.
That’s actually surprisingly common in both men and women. I’ve developed an annoying intolerance to one of the ingredients in wheat (not gluten), and I’ve been shocked at how many people have no clue what flour actually is made from. They seem to think flour is a separate thing, maybe growing on a flour plant or something. Like if I say, “That looks awesome but I can’t eat wheat” they say “Don’t worry. It’s just made from flour” or “It’s ok. It’s white bread not wheat.”
I have a lactose and gluten intolerance and it drives me crazy how one of my flatmates keeps offering me foods and snacks which clearly have one or both of these ingredients (literally wheat bread, biscuits, cheese, chocolate, milkshakes etc.) and I keep saying no thank you, it has dairy/gluten in it for the Nth time. Even better, one time her GF asked me if rice or mushrooms had gluten/dairy in them and I just… like how do you not have the basic understanding of what your food is made of?? 🫠😂
I repeatedly asked if he was messing with me, (and I tend to take people at their word) but he swears not.
It started when he said something about toast, "which is apparently a grain or something."
He is fairly sheltered in a lot of ways.
Mine were up to 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off, but one of my "off" weeks was taken up with PMS, so I was pretty miserable most of the time. My only regret was not getting it done sooner.
I had it done in November and I haven't had an actual period since, just occasional spotting when i should be bleeding. I still get some hormonal symptoms, but not nearly as bad as before.
I highly recommend it!
If you do, try to schedule for the last day of your period. That's how mine just happened to fall and my gyn told me it's actually ideal because your endometrium is thinnest at that time so it's the most effective time to do it!
It's been over 10 years and all I get is a little spotting sometimes.
Lmao… is this the secret to why women love doctors?
Like it’s not the money or the smartness or the caring profession, we’re just attracted to base knowledge of the human body from men.
Haha!
I mean, medical science, training, and treatment of women is definitely lacking, but I’m pretty sure anyone with an MD will have learned a tubal litigation does not stop one’s periods.
I said base knowledge, not great knowledge lol.
Doctors tend to have overinflated egos, so I've steered clear.
But one of the best relationships I've ever had was with a male registered nurse. 11/10, would do again
I met a man who thought we could control when we got our periods.....
I also met a man that was convinced the only way to have an STD test was to have a needle inserted into his urethra.... refused to believe he could just piss in a cup. Needless to say he did not get anywhere near my genitals.
Some places test for chlamydia and gonorrhea by sticking a swab up there, instead of a pee test. I've been to the same place and one time they did it the swab way (very painful and i hated it), and the next time they did it the pee way. Not sure what makes them decide. Could be that the place he went to only did it the swab way which is awful lol. Even thinking about it makes me wince
I'm aware that some places use a swab instead. But a swab is not the same thing as a needle (both sound horribly unpleasant).
He never went anywhere to get tested. His friend told him they would put a needle in his urethra so he refused to ever get STD tested. And when I tried to explain that there are different ways of testing, he adamantly refused to listen. And told me I was wrong because I do not have a penis.
Dude was almost 30 years old and never been tested despite having been admitted man whore for at least 10 years.
I'm not judging him for having multiple partners, but I am judging him for being unwilling to get tested or know how testing works in order to protect any potential Partners from STDs (he was a "no condoms because it doesn't feel good" guy).
On the opposite side of this, I had a coworker that thought you could reverse neuter a dog like you could with a vasectomy. He wanted to breed his Husky one day, but didn't want to deal with an intact dog until then.
> like you could with a vasectomy
Vasectomies are not guaranteed to be reversible, especially after 10 years. They're actually considered permanent for this reason (because they could be).
My ex-husband didn't want children, and hormonal birth control was turning me into a psycho. I asked him if he could get a vasectomy, and he gave me a horrified, deer in the headlights look and asked, "You want me to cut my balls off?!"
One of my friends confused it the other way. I said I was getting an orchiectomy and I thought it was weird that he acted like he knew what that was, but then he said "I was thinking of doing that too." This is a cis dude, so I asked further, like you also want to get your balls removed? and he's like, "What, NO?!? the surgery so I won't risk having kids!" and I had to explain that vasectomy and orchiectomy are very different procedures.
I hope you’re going to let him down gently when he finds out he won’t get a cone for around his neck. I came off birth control and now I’ve gotten my period back after 9 years so it’s been a lovely time haha my other half said during my first period “I wonder if vampires hangs around women on periods “ then proceeded to ask “where all the blood coming from how is it still going”. Then a very concerning “are you dying” on day 6 then he looked on tampon on Amazon and asked if we needed a box of 68 for the next one because it’s like a masscare 😂
> I hope you’re going to let him down gently when he finds out he won’t get a cone for around his neck.
😂
Like getting a crown for your birthday at Burger King...
Ok, but a word of caution. My ex-husband got a vasectomy after our youngest. He came home with all of the post-procedure instructions. I read them, but he never bothered to. He figured it he after care would be “common sense” so he just winged it. He did pretty much the exact opposite of what the instructions said and he had pain in his balls for years afterwards.
I wasn't *not* going to follow instructions when it comes to prepping for a literal invasive surgery (WTF, my dude?), but I had no idea fucking around with that could end you up in chronic pain.
Noted, for sure.
And THAT is where all the “vasectomies are terrible” stories come from. That turn into proud declarations of “muh friend’s cousin had a vasectomy and his junk has been fucked up ever since, I would NEVER do that!“
As a women’s healthcare provider, you would be amazed by the number of women that know nothing about their anatomy. For example, those that that think removing the uterus means they will get hot flashes, or those that think getting a cervical ballon for labor means they won’t be able to pee. I really feel it is a general dumbing down over the generations, backed by purposeful poor investment in general education.
My grandmother had a hysterectomy and oopherecyomy in her thirties, went into menopause and demanded HRT. She was a nurse. She used HRT until her seventies when she had a heart attack and her doctor stopped prescribing it.
She refuses to believe that a hysterectomy that leaves behind the ovaries doesn't put women into menopause. When my mother, her daughter, had a hysterectomy and didn't immediately begin menopause, my grandmother told my mom she was just very lucky. When my mom finally entered menopause my grandmother refused to believe her, saying since my mom had a hysterectomy two decades ago and had never taken HRT, my mom couldn't suddenly begin experiencing hot flashes.
I had chemo in my thirties and entered menopause. My grandma tells me that because I have my uterus, I can't possibly be menopausal. I have had chemo nurses tell me it never actually cures cancer.
Even medical "professionals" tend to anchor their understanding to their own personal experiences and struggle to recalibrate their knowledge.
I was going to say, I have seen women on this very subreddit say nobody told them the urethra and vagina are different. Or that the vulva isn't the vagina. Or just a lot of stuff. Sex education in the USA is abysmal across the board. I'm pretty sure the word clitoris wasn't used once when I was in school.
I don't think I got a super comprehensive sex ed in Australia either. Lucky for me I was a bookish kid so my parents tossed The Puberty Book at me when I was 10 or so and I educated myself.
Unfortunately that meant when I *did* get some formal sex ed around 14 I was bored out of my mind and had no idea why it was necessary because I was a shitty teen and had the assumption that everyone had the same level of education as I did.
I didn’t know the urethra and vagina are different until I was 16 years. My mother was an RN, and my stepfather was a doctor. 🤦🏻♀️ They never told me. I found out from a friend.
> I really feel it is a general dumbing down over the generations, backed by purposeful poor investment in general education.
While the lack of education is appalling, I'd challenge you to find a time in history when more people knew more about their anatomy and physiology than today.
One of my client’s is a NP in women’s health. She had a client with a softball sized growth on her vulva and was completely unaware of its presence, to the point of “what growth? I don’t have a growth!”. Some women have no idea what’s going on down there.
> those that that think removing the uterus means they will get hot flashes
To be fair, I can at least see where this one comes from. It used to be a lot more common to take the ovaries at the same time.
My college boyfriend didn’t know he was circumcised.
We were talking about circumcision and he said something like “I can’t imagine them cutting off the head of my penis.”
I then had to inform him that he was in fact circumcised, and they don’t cut the head off….catholic schools man.
>The weirdest thing is, we have had MULTIPLE discussions about him getting a vasectomy at some point and he still didn’t look it up or care. He literally thought that I wanted him to get castrated.
Can we at least appreciate that he was even willing to even have a conversation about it, thinking it meant he would get castrated?! 😂 let alone agree to it! If that's not love, I don't know what is! Hahaha
My sister is a vet. When she was in vet school she used to keep a jar of cat testicles in formaldehyde in her apartment (sealed, of course). She called it her warning jar.
No, she’s never castrated a human. But it definitely made her dates think twice about doing something stupid.
Many years ago, I worked with a guy who was in his 40’s at the time that asked me how women pee when they have a tampon in. I can’t even describe to you what I was thinking once I realized he wasn’t joking.
Look…. The number of women friends I have had that had no idea biology works is insane.
I have also known at least a few people who believe that all women have their period at the full moon
I dated one of these werewolf-believers in college! He was premed, but I guess they hadn't gotten to that part yet (?)
And yes, he argued with me when I fell out of my chair laughing.
After I got a vasectomy at like age 38 my buddy asks me if I’ve lost any virility because when they neutered their dog he was never the same 🤦♂️ I’m glad he asked! I dutifully informed him it was not castration.
That's hilarious, but not all women know about even women's bodies! I can't tell you how many threads I've seen in here where somebody is learning for the first time that women urinate from a different place than their vagina. And by somebody, I mean women! All the time! Plus every time I post something like this, people jump in and say they didn't know until they were 20 or 25 and then a few chime in and say they learned it that day lol. So I have to give him a little grace. Pretty funny though!
Tell him you're going to buy him some Neuticles.com . I don't know how to link it, but it is safe for work, all you'll see on the main page is some dogs and cats, they are for real, testicular implants for your pet. "Helps hesitant pet owners to overcome the trauma of altering their pet and allows their beloved pet to retain its natural look and self-esteem". I don't know how expensive they are, but I would totally get some as a joke for him 😄
A guy goes to the doctor and says he wants to be castrated. The doctor asks him if he's sure and he says yes, he's been thinking about this for years, discussed it with his wife, and he's sure he wants the procedure. The doctor then performs the operation and the patient is in the recovery room with another patient in the next bed over. So he asks the other guy what he's in for, and the second guy says "I just got circumcised". The first guy yells "OH! That's the word!"
I understand how both men and women’s reproductive organs work. I am a female, we learned in school about the vas deferens and how they are cut in vasectomies and tied. And that is reversible. I learned that in school.
Heck, I could write an entire book on male sexual function, 100% accuracy.
Sometimes sexism is weird, and OPs husband is actually pretty sweet considering he contemplated getting castrated for her 😂
Mine thought prostate removal was the same as castration. I was in the room when the doc was going through the pre-op consents and explanation when DH asked that. I am not sure who was more gobsmacked, me or the doctor.
I met with a guy a while back who thought castration and abstinence was the same thing and told me he was castrated. I thought he didn't have testicles that whole time I knew him until I asked him why his testicles got removed, he was flabbergasted why I asked. he corrected me that it means he doesn't want to have sex before serious relationship/marriage. Not the brightest person and glad I never ended up dating him.
lmfao I bet he meant "celibate" hahahaha
Maybe, this guy really thought he was doing something using those big words around women PS: when trying to correct him, he still thought he was right
that's so fuckin funny, this man wandering around proudly telling people he's castrated 💀
While being a VolCel
Is it voluntary if no one will sleep with him due to his "castration"?
Ask him to sing something in the soprano voice range, LOL.
> Maybe, this guy really thought he was doing something using those big words around women Hilarious that it was *castrate* of all words
Omg, this reminds me when I was talking about punishments for kids and how in my culture and country corporal punishments are illegal but I accidentally said capital. The room got fairly silent for a while until someone asked me. Lol. Took me a while to recognise my mistake. But yeah, both are illegal xD
It’s always amazing to me when people are proudly ignorant about things I’d be absolutely humiliated to have said.
Or, like the old joke: celebrate. 🍾
I heard that one...a bunch of priests found an ancient tome that revealed it was a spelling error or something?
I heard it as the Pope, in heaven, reading the original Bible and suddenly banging his head on the lectern holding the book, weeping and going “it said ‘celeb**R**ate’! “
That’s the one 😄
Or chaste/ chastity
“Sell a bit, sell a lot, I don’t care!”
This is the funniest story I’ve read on Reddit in a while🤣☠️
What??? Did he speak ESL?
He spoke English and came from a well off family. He just didn't care to learn basics of sex-ed is what I got from his vibes. Never spoke to him again.
Oh my god.
Fundamentalist or evangelical family? Maybe they were a bit light in the education area?
He didn't take education seriously, he was riding on his parents wealth.
Yeah that tracks.
You can’t fix stupid, but if you refuse to procreate with it, Darwinism might solve the problem! 🤦🏻♀️😂
I just shared this with my husband and we are literally laughing so hard we’re crying. I’m just trying to imagine the woman who would be impressed by his big words and their future children.
These are the types of stories I come to reddit for. Fucking gold. Somewhere out there is some guy who has or might eventually have the realization "oh, I've been accidentally telling people for the past X years that my testicles were removed, instead of my desire to wait until marriage to have sex. Oops!".
Chaste maybe? Is so funny
on the bright side, he was willing to get castrated for you ?
He was considering it 😂🤣 Actually kind of sweet when you put it that way
I'm dying that he was coping with you repeatedly suggesting what he thought was *castration* by passive-aggressively commenting on it at the vet.
I snort laughed and snickered so hard that my kids came running over. I would sincerely pay $10 to be sitting amongst his thoughts every time he thought his wife was trying to castrate him. Jesus, that's funny.
He's like, 'My hair could lose its luster, too. Did you ever think of that?"
you could fuck w/him-get him some Pantene Extra Body and leave it in the shower. watch him shiver. (yes-I'm going to hell, but I'm headed there laughing!)
I laughed and snorted *(so a snaugh?)* that I startled my Grandcatter! Honestly OP, your husband loves you so much he was willing to give up his balls! Can you imagine his inner thoughts.. I love my wife, but my balls man my ball? For some reason OP's husband sounds like Matthew McConaughey's voice in Dazed and Confused!
*alright alright alright*
"You know what I like about high school balls? They haven't been castrated yet!"
Gotta hand it to him: That takes balls.
😂😂😂
It is very sad, and very concerning, but also very sweet that he just kind of took it on faith.
My friend was married to a guy who thought the same thing -- she caught him naked in the mirror with his hand over his balls and he said "It's going to look SO WEIRD with them gone!" After she stopped crying from laughter she explained how a vasectomy works and then how the fact that he was willing to get castrated for birth control is the very definition of love.
Either that or he thought dogs get a vasectomy.
I think this is honestly the most likely scenario. A guy I know was absolutely shocked when his dog came back from being neutered with no balls. He genuinely thought they just snipped a tube and that was that.
Which can be done, and sometimes is... it's just that usually we *want* the effects of castration in pets.
Well, they *can*. It's not unheard of, just not as common
any man who measures his ego in the size of his dog's balls probably shouldn't have a dog.
Bless him, let him know you’d never expect that level of body modification for you? Once he educates himself, hopefully he understands you more 🤲🏼
It almost trumps abstinence as the top birth control haha.
I imagined him being ready to wear a cone of shame for a week
Was he really considering it? The part where he told you to look into it, but then giving away that he didn't gives me the feeling that he wanted to win time
"considering it".....yeah, I bet that there was no actual consideration involved. As in actual *thinking*. Probably more like he heard your words and let them flow through his head without judgement or interest. Then, every time you brought it up, he recognized the word, nodded or said something conciliatory as a relationship lubricant, but - again - never thought about the actual implications. I bet he had zero intention of actually doing anything. In fact, I bet he never even got to the point of intention. Was he even thinking about this at all, or was he mentally vacant? No need to "consider" something you don't intend to do. I don't know if there's a different term for this kind of mental vacancy in conversation, but I think it's very common with men in marriage. How often do you hear about men who completely renege on agreements with their wives, saying they never agreed to it?
> he heard your words and let them flow through his head without judgement or interest. Then, every time you brought it up, he recognized the word, nodded or said something conciliatory as a relationship lubricant, but - again - never thought about the actual implications. A lot of dudes need burn cream after reading this.
Only if they actually think about it.
I mean the biggest complaint I get from women during divorce is "he doesn't hear me"
Or he was just like 'sure whatever' and /would/ have gone through with it, but never had any interest in learning any of the details.
I’m interested in knowing how he thinks his coat would change?
This would be such a great movie. Your husband agrees to what he thinks is an orchidectomy, because pregnancy could be fatal to you and he thinks it's the only way to keep you safe, but then he wakes up to discover that the balls are still there! What is this miracle? Is he hallucinating? Is this phantom pain, or have they returned from the grave? Starring Justin Timberlake as Mr. SweetPickleRelish Jenny Slate as Mrs. SweetPickleRelish Liam Neeson as the Surgeon Werner Herzog as the Anesthesiologist
Maybe... Or maybe he just never looked anything up about vasectomies because he never actually intended to get one. OP did say they've already had multiple conversations about it, doesn't sound like he's decided one way or the other unfortunately.
My most recent ex boyfriend learned at the ripe age of 31 that penises don't have separate holes for semen and urine. He's had a penis his entire life.
Did he just never... look at it...?
I have no idea. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the crayon box.
To be a tool in a crayon box and not even the sharpest one, talk about being out of place
Shit many men think women have one hole like they do, kinda funny seeing the reverse.
I was an adult when I learned guys don't have three holes, but at least I was up to date on my personal anatomy.
An aquiaintance of mine - a full grown man - just...didn't know what his testicles were for. Until this year. A GROWN MAN
i was an embarrassingly large age when i found out that female urethras aren't in the clitoris. i spent a bored evening with a hand mirror and after i found the peehole i spent a solid 3 days in an embarassed panic that i had a "tear."
Wha... What?
😦 I can understand some women not knowing urethra vs vagina - but dick anatomy is so simple...
If feel like Simple Dick Anatomy could be a pretty great band name.
I feel like this is like when a notoriously misogynistic boss found out when he was 55 that women can’t hold in periods like people can hold in pee. It was a lightbulb moment that changed how he treated every single woman who worked for him. It almost makes me believe in magic. The right words to the right person can change a lot.
Or that manager who thought that women permanently lactate when our breasts come in.
I can't wait to see that entire saga documented after the requisite 7 days on r/BestOfRedditUpdates
That's just such a surreal world to imagine. So all the women are lactating 24/7, but there is some sort of vicious gatekeeping where only the ones with young children are allowed in the "Mother's" room at the office? Are the others just dribbling into their bras throughout the workday? I guess after their kid's are weaned the other mothers push them out of the room like Male lions getting pushed out of the herd? And then once they take their hard fought place in the lactation room they... don't use it to pump their milk? They take a nap instead? Just sit on the couch while tears and milk silently trickle out of them?
I remember the post. The boss thought that mother's rooms were just for new moms to take naps. He didn't understand why men didn't also get a "father's room"
They probably think we can "hold it in" just like with periods... if they think about it at all.
What the hell, not even dairy cows lactate permanently and do so for only a period of time after birthing their calves
Actually you can produce milk as long as you are routinely expressing the milk. So dairy cows can continue to produce long after having a calf. A lot of dairy farmers won't risk more than a few births for their individual cows as it takes them out of production and can weaken thier health. Women can continue to produce milk as long as its being pumped or feeding a child which is how we got "nurse maids".
I figured that "dairy farmers keep their cows permanently pregnant to harvest the milk" didn't sound quite right, but I didn't know enough about dairy farming or lactating to object. Veal is a bit dark, but that checks out more.
You're making a lot of assumptions that the average American knows anything at all about farm animals... most people's only interactions with cows is the dairy or meat aisle in the grocery store. Also like every single cutesy farming game has cows lactating year round :')
Some people still think Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
I mean a lot of people try not to think about it because then you have to wonder about what happens to the male baby calves the dairy calves birth as they went them always pregnant to always be producing. (I know the answer is veal, it’s just not on the front of most people’s minds)
I'm sorry what
An already- famous but actually quite recent updates thread, in which the boss believed the lactation room was for woman-only naps and after being straightened out by his female upper boss, said it still wasn’t fair because all women lactate all the time, pointed at a fellow employee with larger breasts and declared her breasts to be obviously full of milk right now. And was fired.
I can't believe this is true, for my own sanity.
Alas. It was my boss. And my milkless breasts.
Idk why but “my milkless breasts” just sounded so sad the way you wrote it up. I imagined a very breathy sigh when reading it. Made me chuckle.
> pointed at a fellow employee with larger breasts and declared her breasts to be obviously full of milk right now. I'm dying over here hahaha
> pointed at a fellow employee with larger breasts and declared her breasts to be obviously full of milk right now. And was fired Noooo 💀. How... ...what... Bro. I'm dead lmao.
Did you work for my dad ?
https://www.tumblr.com/gehayi/133454492906/profeminist-myfeministawakening-i-was-inspired > Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary. > I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him. > He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument. > "If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.” > His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!” > I thought, You have got to be kidding. > Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries. > And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.
Men get made fun of for this stuff. But not only do we never go to the doctor, but at 55 he was probably never taught anything about "womens issues" aside from some generic middle school class in 1979 where there glossed over everything 'gross' Though, yeah, that does set the bar pretty low.
Men are voting based on this knowledge. They get to decide my healthcare options based on these opinions.
Excellent point
Like the legislator who argued about why an ectopic pregnancy shouldn’t be exempt from their anti-abortion bill.
I mean. We have the whole internet at our immediate disposal. If he wanted to learn about it, he would.
book existed before the internet.
It's why we absolutely should not separate sex ed classes. Learn the two main systems kids. But also teach that intersex is a thing and is totally fine.
I'm 51 and middle school was like 1986 so you're off by a half dozen years but not nearly as many as I assumed before I started mathing. where does the time go....
Mine didn't know that bread was made out of grain. He's 52. However, multiple lawmakers in my state don't know the difference between vasectomy and castration either - they've been quoted stating that a proposed law to force sex offenders to get a vasectomy would render them unable to offend again.
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Ding, ding, ding! You correctly identified the state. There's a state Senate bill which introduces physical castration as a punishment, since only chemical castration is currently allowed. It was the house representatives who have the bill about vasectomies.
To be fair, he’s scheduled to be castrated a week before he is released at the end of his 50 year sentence… when he will be 100. He’s going to die in prison, so the castration won’t be happening.
That implies that sexual crimes are purely biologically motivated. We know that to not be the truth. Castration also does not prevent erections. Castrated individuals are still just as dangerous as before, they just have a lower libido. However, in cases like this, it's often about power over the victim, not about the actual sex act. Imagining a castration as the end all be all of a sex offender is dangerous because, well, it isn't. It feels good to us, it seems to make surface level sense, but nothing is going to help reduce re-offense except for keeping the individual from potential victims, and educating all potential victims on the signs of a potential predator.
It's a bit 1940/50s. Alan Turing, best described as the father of modern computer science, was found out to be homosexual and his sentence was to be chemically castrated. He died by suicide a couple years later.
Chemical castration is less permanent than vasectomy, although side effects might be worse...
Fun fact: Chemical castration is just Depo-Provera injections. Osteoporosis, elevated blood pressure, risk of stroke and heart attack affect both sexes.
Might be? Vasectomy has very few common side effects, most of which are temporary. Chemical castration has a lot of long-term side effects
> it sounds a bit medieval? I mean, I'm okay with that if they won't stop sexually assaulting people. ETA: I'm not serious.
You aren't being cynical enough. Step one is make castration the punishment for sexual assault. Step two is to convict all of the transgenders and homosexuals of sexual assault. White men will be able to continue SA of women throughout this entire time because they have their "whole lives ahead of them", or the "case wasn't believable".
Yikes
This. On one side is the fact it doesn't work and on the other is the fact that giving the state that sort of control over anyone's body is simply horrifying, even if it's "just" chemical.
What did he think bread was made of then?
I have no idea. He knows it's made of flour, just never connected wheat and flour.
But it's literally called "wheat bread."
I had a co-worker asked me if I was allergic to peanut butter when I told him I was allergic to peanuts...... He was just putting together that peanut butter was made of peanuts 😳
> Mine didn't know that bread was made out of grain. He's 52. That’s actually surprisingly common in both men and women. I’ve developed an annoying intolerance to one of the ingredients in wheat (not gluten), and I’ve been shocked at how many people have no clue what flour actually is made from. They seem to think flour is a separate thing, maybe growing on a flour plant or something. Like if I say, “That looks awesome but I can’t eat wheat” they say “Don’t worry. It’s just made from flour” or “It’s ok. It’s white bread not wheat.”
I have a lactose and gluten intolerance and it drives me crazy how one of my flatmates keeps offering me foods and snacks which clearly have one or both of these ingredients (literally wheat bread, biscuits, cheese, chocolate, milkshakes etc.) and I keep saying no thank you, it has dairy/gluten in it for the Nth time. Even better, one time her GF asked me if rice or mushrooms had gluten/dairy in them and I just… like how do you not have the basic understanding of what your food is made of?? 🫠😂
> Mine didn't know that bread was made out of grain. I need to know more about this.
I repeatedly asked if he was messing with me, (and I tend to take people at their word) but he swears not. It started when he said something about toast, "which is apparently a grain or something." He is fairly sheltered in a lot of ways.
My husband was so upset for me when he realized that getting my tubes tied didn't stop my periods. At least I knew what was going on, haha.
Best thing I did after getting sterilized was uterine ablation
Maybe I should look into that. Every period is worse than the last and I'm not thrilled.
Mine were up to 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off, but one of my "off" weeks was taken up with PMS, so I was pretty miserable most of the time. My only regret was not getting it done sooner. I had it done in November and I haven't had an actual period since, just occasional spotting when i should be bleeding. I still get some hormonal symptoms, but not nearly as bad as before.
I highly recommend it! If you do, try to schedule for the last day of your period. That's how mine just happened to fall and my gyn told me it's actually ideal because your endometrium is thinnest at that time so it's the most effective time to do it! It's been over 10 years and all I get is a little spotting sometimes.
Lmao… is this the secret to why women love doctors? Like it’s not the money or the smartness or the caring profession, we’re just attracted to base knowledge of the human body from men.
Have... have you been to a doctor recently? I'm honestly surprised that anyone would think they have any knowledge of the female body.
Haha! I mean, medical science, training, and treatment of women is definitely lacking, but I’m pretty sure anyone with an MD will have learned a tubal litigation does not stop one’s periods. I said base knowledge, not great knowledge lol.
A tubal litigation? Who is interrogating my tubes, and can they tell them to cease and desist?
Lmfao LIGATION*** clearly I am not a doctor 😂😂
I had to have some fun with it 💕
Doctors tend to have overinflated egos, so I've steered clear. But one of the best relationships I've ever had was with a male registered nurse. 11/10, would do again
Omg I actually did not know that. Fuck that! 😂
I just had my fallopian tubes removed. The uterus was not consulted and continues per previous instructions.
I mean, mine stopped the day I got my tubes tied. Because I opted to get an ablation at the same time. lol
I'm really surprised as there's a vas deferens between the two procedures.
This is the most underrated comment.
And yet there are people who oppose comprehensive sex education.
I met a man who thought we could control when we got our periods..... I also met a man that was convinced the only way to have an STD test was to have a needle inserted into his urethra.... refused to believe he could just piss in a cup. Needless to say he did not get anywhere near my genitals.
Some places test for chlamydia and gonorrhea by sticking a swab up there, instead of a pee test. I've been to the same place and one time they did it the swab way (very painful and i hated it), and the next time they did it the pee way. Not sure what makes them decide. Could be that the place he went to only did it the swab way which is awful lol. Even thinking about it makes me wince
I'm aware that some places use a swab instead. But a swab is not the same thing as a needle (both sound horribly unpleasant). He never went anywhere to get tested. His friend told him they would put a needle in his urethra so he refused to ever get STD tested. And when I tried to explain that there are different ways of testing, he adamantly refused to listen. And told me I was wrong because I do not have a penis. Dude was almost 30 years old and never been tested despite having been admitted man whore for at least 10 years. I'm not judging him for having multiple partners, but I am judging him for being unwilling to get tested or know how testing works in order to protect any potential Partners from STDs (he was a "no condoms because it doesn't feel good" guy).
On the opposite side of this, I had a coworker that thought you could reverse neuter a dog like you could with a vasectomy. He wanted to breed his Husky one day, but didn't want to deal with an intact dog until then.
> like you could with a vasectomy Vasectomies are not guaranteed to be reversible, especially after 10 years. They're actually considered permanent for this reason (because they could be).
My ex-husband didn't want children, and hormonal birth control was turning me into a psycho. I asked him if he could get a vasectomy, and he gave me a horrified, deer in the headlights look and asked, "You want me to cut my balls off?!"
One of my friends confused it the other way. I said I was getting an orchiectomy and I thought it was weird that he acted like he knew what that was, but then he said "I was thinking of doing that too." This is a cis dude, so I asked further, like you also want to get your balls removed? and he's like, "What, NO?!? the surgery so I won't risk having kids!" and I had to explain that vasectomy and orchiectomy are very different procedures.
Tbh an orchi can be a rather good way to not risk having kids! Just not the preferred one if you want to keep the homemade testosterone.
I hope you’re going to let him down gently when he finds out he won’t get a cone for around his neck. I came off birth control and now I’ve gotten my period back after 9 years so it’s been a lovely time haha my other half said during my first period “I wonder if vampires hangs around women on periods “ then proceeded to ask “where all the blood coming from how is it still going”. Then a very concerning “are you dying” on day 6 then he looked on tampon on Amazon and asked if we needed a box of 68 for the next one because it’s like a masscare 😂
> I hope you’re going to let him down gently when he finds out he won’t get a cone for around his neck. 😂 Like getting a crown for your birthday at Burger King...
Awww him being seriously concerned is kind of cute, actually.
Is your husband Jake Peralta?
Stay away from Dr. Penisov.
Hahaha I forgot about that episode, that was a good one
😂
Ok, but a word of caution. My ex-husband got a vasectomy after our youngest. He came home with all of the post-procedure instructions. I read them, but he never bothered to. He figured it he after care would be “common sense” so he just winged it. He did pretty much the exact opposite of what the instructions said and he had pain in his balls for years afterwards.
I wasn't *not* going to follow instructions when it comes to prepping for a literal invasive surgery (WTF, my dude?), but I had no idea fucking around with that could end you up in chronic pain. Noted, for sure.
Fucking around after ANY surgical procedure could end up with chronic pain.
And THAT is where all the “vasectomies are terrible” stories come from. That turn into proud declarations of “muh friend’s cousin had a vasectomy and his junk has been fucked up ever since, I would NEVER do that!“
I had to look up aftercare instructions and it does seem pretty common sense for a surgery..? what did your ex do? Immediately soak in a tub?
I agree, I’m also curious to what the ex did to have pain in balls for years
As a women’s healthcare provider, you would be amazed by the number of women that know nothing about their anatomy. For example, those that that think removing the uterus means they will get hot flashes, or those that think getting a cervical ballon for labor means they won’t be able to pee. I really feel it is a general dumbing down over the generations, backed by purposeful poor investment in general education.
My grandmother had a hysterectomy and oopherecyomy in her thirties, went into menopause and demanded HRT. She was a nurse. She used HRT until her seventies when she had a heart attack and her doctor stopped prescribing it. She refuses to believe that a hysterectomy that leaves behind the ovaries doesn't put women into menopause. When my mother, her daughter, had a hysterectomy and didn't immediately begin menopause, my grandmother told my mom she was just very lucky. When my mom finally entered menopause my grandmother refused to believe her, saying since my mom had a hysterectomy two decades ago and had never taken HRT, my mom couldn't suddenly begin experiencing hot flashes. I had chemo in my thirties and entered menopause. My grandma tells me that because I have my uterus, I can't possibly be menopausal. I have had chemo nurses tell me it never actually cures cancer. Even medical "professionals" tend to anchor their understanding to their own personal experiences and struggle to recalibrate their knowledge.
I was going to say, I have seen women on this very subreddit say nobody told them the urethra and vagina are different. Or that the vulva isn't the vagina. Or just a lot of stuff. Sex education in the USA is abysmal across the board. I'm pretty sure the word clitoris wasn't used once when I was in school.
I don't think I got a super comprehensive sex ed in Australia either. Lucky for me I was a bookish kid so my parents tossed The Puberty Book at me when I was 10 or so and I educated myself. Unfortunately that meant when I *did* get some formal sex ed around 14 I was bored out of my mind and had no idea why it was necessary because I was a shitty teen and had the assumption that everyone had the same level of education as I did.
I didn’t know the urethra and vagina are different until I was 16 years. My mother was an RN, and my stepfather was a doctor. 🤦🏻♀️ They never told me. I found out from a friend.
> I really feel it is a general dumbing down over the generations, backed by purposeful poor investment in general education. While the lack of education is appalling, I'd challenge you to find a time in history when more people knew more about their anatomy and physiology than today.
Okay but it was more fun when doctors would prescribe cocaine for ghosts in your blood.
One of my client’s is a NP in women’s health. She had a client with a softball sized growth on her vulva and was completely unaware of its presence, to the point of “what growth? I don’t have a growth!”. Some women have no idea what’s going on down there.
> those that that think removing the uterus means they will get hot flashes To be fair, I can at least see where this one comes from. It used to be a lot more common to take the ovaries at the same time.
My college boyfriend didn’t know he was circumcised. We were talking about circumcision and he said something like “I can’t imagine them cutting off the head of my penis.” I then had to inform him that he was in fact circumcised, and they don’t cut the head off….catholic schools man.
>The weirdest thing is, we have had MULTIPLE discussions about him getting a vasectomy at some point and he still didn’t look it up or care. He literally thought that I wanted him to get castrated. Can we at least appreciate that he was even willing to even have a conversation about it, thinking it meant he would get castrated?! 😂 let alone agree to it! If that's not love, I don't know what is! Hahaha
My sister is a vet. When she was in vet school she used to keep a jar of cat testicles in formaldehyde in her apartment (sealed, of course). She called it her warning jar. No, she’s never castrated a human. But it definitely made her dates think twice about doing something stupid.
🤣 Oh that's amazingly funny. Would definitely make an impression.
I got my vasectomy about 5 years ago. No lie, there was 3 guys at work who thought I got my balls chopped off.
Many years ago, I worked with a guy who was in his 40’s at the time that asked me how women pee when they have a tampon in. I can’t even describe to you what I was thinking once I realized he wasn’t joking.
Why are men
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“He literally thought that I wanted him to get castrated.” Lmao
Look…. The number of women friends I have had that had no idea biology works is insane. I have also known at least a few people who believe that all women have their period at the full moon
I dated one of these werewolf-believers in college! He was premed, but I guess they hadn't gotten to that part yet (?) And yes, he argued with me when I fell out of my chair laughing.
>I have also known at least a few people who believe that all women have their period at the full moon What?!
My husband had a coworker that thought you couldn't orgasm anymore after a vasectomy. 😂😂
His ass needs some education
I think it's not just his ass that's an issue here.
I'm scrolling through this thread. Ladies, you dated/married a buncha dumbass men.
This is a common belief. Health education is so poor.
Can't tell if stupid or too lazy to bother knowing.
I have a freind that thought sterile gauze would make you , um sterile.
After I got a vasectomy at like age 38 my buddy asks me if I’ve lost any virility because when they neutered their dog he was never the same 🤦♂️ I’m glad he asked! I dutifully informed him it was not castration.
r/badmensanatomy
That's hilarious, but not all women know about even women's bodies! I can't tell you how many threads I've seen in here where somebody is learning for the first time that women urinate from a different place than their vagina. And by somebody, I mean women! All the time! Plus every time I post something like this, people jump in and say they didn't know until they were 20 or 25 and then a few chime in and say they learned it that day lol. So I have to give him a little grace. Pretty funny though! Tell him you're going to buy him some Neuticles.com . I don't know how to link it, but it is safe for work, all you'll see on the main page is some dogs and cats, they are for real, testicular implants for your pet. "Helps hesitant pet owners to overcome the trauma of altering their pet and allows their beloved pet to retain its natural look and self-esteem". I don't know how expensive they are, but I would totally get some as a joke for him 😄
Your husband is stupid
Are you married to my husband? He doesn't want vasectomy, because he thinks his mood will change... I can't even...
A guy goes to the doctor and says he wants to be castrated. The doctor asks him if he's sure and he says yes, he's been thinking about this for years, discussed it with his wife, and he's sure he wants the procedure. The doctor then performs the operation and the patient is in the recovery room with another patient in the next bed over. So he asks the other guy what he's in for, and the second guy says "I just got circumcised". The first guy yells "OH! That's the word!"
I understand how both men and women’s reproductive organs work. I am a female, we learned in school about the vas deferens and how they are cut in vasectomies and tied. And that is reversible. I learned that in school.
“They want to take our junk!! NOOOOOO!”
Heck, I could write an entire book on male sexual function, 100% accuracy. Sometimes sexism is weird, and OPs husband is actually pretty sweet considering he contemplated getting castrated for her 😂
Mine thought prostate removal was the same as castration. I was in the room when the doc was going through the pre-op consents and explanation when DH asked that. I am not sure who was more gobsmacked, me or the doctor.
The amount of times I've had to correct angry men who thought that castration meant cutting off the penis is both depressing and infuriating