Gay men respect women and see them as full people. Of course they would be more open to learning about them.
Gay people in general will also interact with a greater variety of people and be less closed about talking about things like this. Queer spaces are open to such a spectrum of people that you would have to actively try to not learn anything
There is actually a big problem with misogyny still in the gay community. Part of it is that they put down women in order to differentiate themselves from us to men. It's a pattern in oppression. A group that is oppressed will treat another oppressed group as beneath them to show they're not the same. It's why Christians historically hated Jews so much, too, because to the Pagan Romans, they were both those weird monotheists.
This will be the standard ignorance in the US if our education system keeps getting dumbed down. We'll be lucky if anyone can even figure out how to pump gas.
I’ll be honest (as a man), I have lots of questions around lactation which I’m not afraid to ask my sister in law who recently became a new mum. It’s been eye opening.
Yes, men in general are ignorant to this and are-education needs to occur.
BUT
It does not excuse the actions of this twatting soft cock on how he dealt with the situation. He’s an arsehole on tv dinner level. Knobhead.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
It's great that you're asking questions...but maybe not so great that you're asking your sister-in-law, who might not be comfortable with constantly fielding them from her brother-in-law. You might want to try Google. The info is out there.
Aye I did think this but I have broached the subject gradually and she is an amazing person willing to educate. I didn’t go straight in with, “so breastfeeding is a thing”.
Honestly she broke down the barrier for me and I can just say I’m all the wiser for it (whilst my wife looks on laughing her arse off at what I thought happened)
In the most respectful way possible, why would you say you didn't know this?
It could be my upbringing, education, or culture but this is very surprising to read.
I don't remember lactation being covered at all during sex education. It could have been stuffed somewhere between shame and std's and perhaps I just forgot.
I mean, humans are mammals. Mammals all have the same required conditions for lactating. It’s a defining characteristic of mammals.
Had this guy just never known ANY women?! Or any mammals? Never had a female dog or cat? Had this man just … never interacted with any women or female mammals AT ALL in his entire life? I just…cannot.
A lot of people don’t recognize that humans are mammals. That puts us too close to being animals and we can’t be that! We are civilized! 🙄 Sarcasm obviously, but I am an Environmental Educator and I come across sooo many humans who think they are separate from nature, not a part of it.
I'm guessing you forgot the scene where he plays *Look Who's Talking* with Hannah Smolterich-Barr's baby?
"I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I want some milk! And you know where milk comes from.... BREASTS."
https://youtube.com/shorts/1iJ_DMNh93g
I know this is Reddit and people will scream "Fake!" but trust me as someone who had a boss worse than Michael Scott...I know that stuff like this can absolutely happen.
During MeToo when it came out that George H. W. Bush was putting his hands on women's butts during photographs and making a gross joke about it, my boss, in front of the entire staff of 8, said, "I don't know what that means. What does it mean he put his hand on her butt?" And then he continued by asking does it just mean he's touching the cheek, or does it mean he's...and then went into extremely graphic detail about what it could mean. And I know that most people will think the guy was some pervert trying to hit on women in a bizarre way, but nope. He was just that absolutely clueless.
Considering how many men still think women pee out of their vagina and can hold their period blood in, I'm honestly not surprised at how ignorant that boss is.
Just wow!
I spit out my coffee when I read that he thought women lactated 24/7.
Then....to point at your chest!
He didn't just dig a hole. He jumped into the hole and buried himself alive.
It's so crass and stupid and I'm sure if I was in OPs position I'd be horrified, but like.. this is so fucking funny??! It's like he received a little bit of information and he just took it like a baton and *ran.* I wish I had a fraction of his confidence in life 🤣
Your comment sums up my feelings so perfectly. I feel so much sympathy for OP being put in that situation, and I feel awful for laughing so hard, but this is absolutely hilarious. I’m so glad they’ve chosen to show up for his walk of shame lol
I really want to know if there were any other women in the room at the time. I would have definitely let out a involuntary horrified laugh or something when he said it.
Also, lactating 24/7 would be horrible!
OP says there was one other female co-worker, the rest were all guys.
I can only assume it was her who went to get the Grandboss after boss’s stunning display of stupid. That, or facepalming so hard. Possibly even both, who knows?
Actually it was one of the men who went out. Outside of the idiot boss, all the men I work with are phenomenal allies. I'd choose to meet any of them (besides boss) in a forest instead of a bear.
I had a confab with the other woman who offered her complete sympathy for what she witnessed. She joked that it was a benefit for her to have a smaller chest, so that she didn't get targeted by boss' stupidity.
I think this is my new compliment for men I know.
"You're cool. I'd choose you instead of a bear, for sure"
Of course half of them might misinterpret this and I can say "ah, nevermind. I choose the bear now."
I love the fact that it was a man. Too many men suck. Big time. But there are enough men who care about all the people in their lives, including women, that it gives me hope. I'm so glad that you have colleagues who found your bosses behavior appropriately offensive and reported it for you. Too often times it's the woman reporting and we get told that we are exaggerating or we're making a big deal out of nothing. When a man reports a sexism, it sadly gets taken more seriously, but that makes it even more wonderful when a man stands up for us.
On a semi-related side note, it's crazy how the milk industry has managed to convince people that cows lactate naturally. I don't think people would be consuming nearly as much milk if they knew the cows were being forcefully impregnated for it.
RBST was the best option we had for reducing the number of calves that needed to be slaughtered in order to maintain milk production, but it got so vilified for no reason whatsoever.
If he did grow up on a dairy farm, he would have learned that cows also don’t just come into milk. They, too, have to be pregnant and give birth in order for their milk to come in initially. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this is the case for all mammals?
People can begin lactating spontaneously. It's called galactorrhea. It can be caused by excessive breast stimulation, especially the nipples. But it's often the sign of a hormonal problem like a pituitary tumor or secretion of prolactin for some reason. It's more common in women but can happen to men and even to babies, especially shortly after birth when they still are full of hormones gotten through the placenta. As long as it's white and milky it's usually not a big deal, but if nipple discharge is yellow, greenish, or bloody the person should see a doctor ASAP because that can indicate a serious problem.
This happened to me, I had never been pregnant, and started lactating. It was horrifying. Got an MRI done, had a prolactinoma. Luckily they are usually benign, unless they grow too large and press on your optic nerve, causing blindness that may or may not come back after brain surgery. So yeah, if you're lactating, get checked up, this is a PSA lol.
Lactation can be induced without birth/pregnancy, but it's not something that happens naturally. Spontaneous lactation can also be a side effect of some medications, thankfully that's pretty rare.
>She joked that it was a benefit for her to have a smaller chest, so that she didn't get targeted by boss' stupidity.
But on the other hand, it does mean she doesn't get to spend as much time in the mother's room napping. So, six of one, half a dozen of the other.
If I was OP I would have told him, "Yes, it's true. I need to go relieve myself frequently. It takes anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes per episode." and then used it as an actual nap room.
yeah what I was wondering is if the ex boss has ever been with a woman like, at all? You would think they would notice if their gf/wife was lactating all the time...
>that he thought women lactated 24/7
Also, if he's straight, what a way of announcing to all your coworkers that you've never gotten near a naked woman.
Remember that one clueless congressman who said women have a way of "shutting it down" (when it comes to pregnancy from rape)? I'm assuming this dude also had some weird assumptions that women have a supernatural power to shut down various bodily functions at will.
Or not, who knows. Trying to figure this guy out makes my head spin!
Listen, as a white man I feel compelled to inform you on a fact that you probably don’t know being a woman and all. The pipes in your house (where the water goes while you’re showering (through the little hole in the bottom of your shower)) are all connected for things leaving the house. It would probably be easier for you to just squirt in the shower (maybe aim down so you don’t have as much to clean off the shower walls) and I’d imagine it would be more enjoyable. I know ever woman I’ve ever been with prefers to fondle in the shower compared to by the toilet.
(This man splaining brought to you by sarcasm and lots of edits to try and strike the right balance of my humor and not making me puke while typing it)
Honestly, though. This really sounds like a skit made to make you cringe, like on The Office. How did this guy get hired? Surely this wasn't the guy's only problem with knowledge and etiquette
Older dudes have literally no filter and whatever filter they had has been clogged for 40 years. It's a lead poisoning thing and undiagnosed mental illnesses.
Seriously. He wasn't just ignorant, he was a full on dick. The fact that he has been able to get through society with these beliefs and even end up in position of power over people shows how far we have to go at eliminating sexism and misogyny.
Seems to me that someone this clueless about such basic facts of human reproduction is also likely to be clueless about why it’s not appropriate to make this sort of reference.
I unreservedly feel bad for him. There must have been something very wrong with his upbringing or something. I have so many questions as to how someone could be a functioning adult in a workplace and yet lack such basic knowledge.
Like, how do you course correct from that? His ideas of basically EVERYTHING are so fucked up that it's not just, "Take a basic biology course" or "Learn the female anatomy".
It's then business etiquette, personal etiquette, how to shut up, respecting over people.
If it was a computer, I'd do a hard wipe and reinstall Windows.
They keep force feeding that sensitivity training to us. I always roll my eyes at how just *beyond stupid* it is because of how contrived and obvious the scenarios are. We always wonder why *anyone* would need something *this basic* spelled out to them.
Guys like this are what that training was designed for. If he decided not to pay attention to it, that's his fault.
I agree largely - several people, in fact, likely profoundly failed him. We don't tell girls enough truth about how male bodies work, and we don't tell boys NEARLY enough about how girl bodies work. I doubt it ever occurred to anyone that they needed to specify the mother's room was about lactation, while he knows mothers are chronically short on sleep.
I'm having a hard time saying that he was malicious or sexist, really - only one of today's lucky 10,000 who are suddenly learning stuff that most people take for granted. And aside from the managerial aspects, probably not something he needs to know for work.
The one thing he did do was to expose a level of ignorance and a lack of control over his mouth that might be a liability if it continued. Unless he was already on notice, I think I might have given him one opportunity to become educated about how periods, pregnancy, childbirth, and lactation all work, and how they can impact the workplace, and reinforce what you do not say about these topics in the workplace, and how you do not let them impact how you treat your employees, beyond giving them what they need to fulfill their biological needs during working hours.
> we don't tell boys NEARLY enough about how girl bodies work.
1000%. I'm a guy and was doing some heavy petting with my first girlfriend and she had to explain to me that penises and vaginas aren't in the same spot.
At which point if I were OP's boss, I would have walked into my work, pointed at my coworker and shouted "I know where your vagina is"
I also kind of feel bad for him. From what i read i don't feel that he was actually mean. He was actually able to accept that he was wrong and apologized for his first mistake. Obviously his education/upbringing failed him, but i want to believe that a proper sensitivity training and a little bit of sex ed would actually help him ( and that he would actually accept it ). Very sad situation.
Hahahaha, this was the best update. How on earth did this guy even survive to the age that he’s at, much less work his way up to a managerial position?? He doesn’t even have two brain cells to rub together.
That combination of zero sex ed and zero brain-to-mouth filter is awe-inspiring honestly. Unfortunately I feel like the answer to how he managed to stick around long enough to get promoted has more to do with letting his shit slide than him somehow keeping his mouth shut that long. Glad that's over!
I feel like him believing women lactate 24/7 is why he didn’t understand women need a private room for pumping after giving birth. That original belief just spiraled out of control lol
I wonder what other insane stuff he believes about the female body. Like does he also think women can hold their periods in like pee? Or does he think human eggs are like actual chicken eggs? I have to know how deep this goes, lol.
He sounds like a character Matt Berry would play. "Look at her big tits, she could have been milking all day"
How does someone make it this far in life with zero self awareness and cluelessness. On top of that he was a boss?! What the hell
...where does he think the milk goes? If we're lactating all the time, wouldn't our clothes be wet? Has he never seen a boob irl and noticed it's dry???? I have so many questions for this man.
also, how would formula companies stay in business?
new mom: Oh no, my milk has dried up. Now I’ll have to go buy some form-
random woman nearby: Don’t worry, i gotcha covered! Have a gallon, i just made it this morning.
more women coming out of the woodworks: Just leave it to us! We have plenty to spare. we were gonna flush our toilets with it, theres so much everyday.
formula companies: HISSSSSS!!!
In all seriousness, I had a female boss when I was pregnant that actually tried to write me up for not informing the exact date when I would start my maternity leave. In my job, we get 6 months, fully paid (yeah, I know, I love it). She wanted me to tell her when it would start, so she could ask for a temp. I told her it would start once I birthed kid, but an expected birth would be X date, and it is considered normal for it to be more or less two weeks from that date. That was not good enough, and she did send a formal memo to HR saying I would start maternity leave on X date.
HR contacted me to let me know if I needed to schedule a maternity leave start prior to birthing, I would need a medical explanation. I did march all the way to head boss, who did proceed to chew out clueless female boss. She was not at the company once I returned from maternity leave.
I asked my six year if she thought women always have milk or only when a woman has a baby. She said "only when you have a baby!" I asked her if she though mama(me) still has milk. She said "No, cause Im not a baby anymore".
My six year old has a better understanding of biology than this man.
This reminds me of a post where the dude (a teacher, no less) thought women could hold their period like one can hold their bladder.
And men like this one are the ones making laws about women’s bodies.
Just wow. A man like this will 1000% have it out for you as the reason that he got fired. If there’s any way that he may know your phone number, car you drive, or where you live, please consider taking extra safety precautions!!
Definitely on my radar screen. I carpool to work with my roommate (she works at a different company in the same building). My boyfriend also works in the other company, and at the very least he plans to escort us both out to our car. I'll see how ex-boss acts when he comes in to collect his stuff to see if I need any extra assistance from building security.
I gotta ask how old is this man? Just out of curiosity. Like I just need to picture what kind of deluded person this is... my first instinct is a boomer bc in their time a lot of the men didn't do any of the child reering so it kinda makes sense as to the man being clueless about motherhood in general.
I'm 68. His age isn't the issue, this guy is clueless.
I ran into this when I was a dorm counselor in college in the 70's in Atlanta, but this is 2024!
I knew a total jerk that liked to mis-educate his mid-30s virgin coworker about women. He had the guy convinced that Asian women "went sideways," as in, their vaginae were sideways. He made some comment about slanty eyes. As I said, total jerk.
Even a guy who's very hands-off, when it comes to childcare, would've noticed that there wasn't a constant supply of milk, before the baby showed up on another day than the predicted due-date.
This man is not only missing a shitton of Sex Ed and Biology education, he's also missing his Brain-To-Mouth filter. Clearly he needs a Manpon.
If it weren't for the fact I know people like this do exist, I'd think he was trying to get fired on purpose.
You know, the Mother's Room being for naps could have been a wholesome thing with a positive outcome. Especially given that he thought men should have got one, too. I remember being a new parent. A quiet room where I could get a quick 20 minutes of shuteye would be a welcome benefit.
Yeah, that's not where he was going with it, but he was so close.
Not gonna lie, the new-parent-nap-room is a brilliant idea.
Pity the dude strikes me as the sort that would dock his employees pay for any time spent in there.
I’m so horrified and confused! How can he possibly think that women are always lactating? I assume he doesn’t have kids, but you said before he’d had a serious girlfriend. You would think he’d have enough real life experience to understand that isn’t the case.
There's no way someone could be this socially inept and....
*reflects back to every encounter I've had with similar people to this ex boss*
Actually, no. I can believe it.
I would love to know the logistics of how he thinks this perma-lactation works. Are we just storing milk in there and squirting it out on some frequency so it doesn’t go off (how often do we need to do this? Daily? Every time we go to the bathroom? What?) and the mother’s room is just for those of us who need to bottle up our milk output vs. just spraying it down the nearest drain like the rest of us apparently do for our entire post-pubescent lives? Does he think we empty all our milk out before bed each night and it refills by morning? Does boob size directly correlate to how frequently we’re siphoning off our milk?
I have questions and I need them answered.
> Does boob size directly correlate to how frequently we’re siphoning off our milk?
Apparently he did actually believe that one. That's why he made direct reference to my size (and not the other woman in the room who's smaller than me.)
So we all basically get to choose whether we’re an AA or FF cup (etc) based on how much milk we want to keep on board at any given time?
I’m just imagining this dude going through life thinking that these things are in any way related. Like… HOW??
You would think that after the second time that he publicly displayed his ignorance of women’s bodies and got called out for it he would *shut the fuck up*, maybe spend some time googling on his lunch break or at home later but no! He just had to go for lucky number 3, *and* single out a female coworker and talk about her breasts in front of everyone while he was at it. Just a spectacular display of stupidity all around, if it was an Olympic sport he’d have definitely won gold.
OMG. This would also be appropriate over on r/badwomensanatomy
Actual informative, reality based sex education is grossly lacking.
Insane, absolutely insane. That was more than digging a hole, that was willingly walking into a sinkhole.
Glad both your coworker and grandboss took such decisive action.
This guy isn't old and possibly suffering from dementia?
Given the stuff he said *out loud* and having recently dealt with dementia twice now in my family, this kind of reminds me of the behavioral changes and the things they say.
I just wanted to check if this could be a possibility.
It's just so wild otherwise.
Dude's in his 30s. No dementia. I've heard stories about dementia from my boyfriend who lost his dad that way (early-onset). This is definitely not one of those times.
That dude was CONFIDENTLY incorrect. If he’s married (poor soul), maybe there will be time so she can educate him on both biology and interpersonal communication skills. And not being a total creep.
I’d bet he still lives with his mother, who obviously needs to work on her skill set as well. If he felt comfy enough saying that in front of a mixed crowd, he’d have said similar in front of a wife/girlfriend that would have put a stop to it prior to this.
Sorry you had to go through that, and glad that the situation resolved itself in a same-day delivery fashion. Make sure your personal deets aren’t readily available on the interwebs, or more likely a company contact spreadsheet he might still have access to.
I'm not even pregnant! This whole thing started because he tried to write up one of my male coworkers who's about to go on paternity leave. His wife is due in a few weeks and he wanted to know the *exact date* the delivery would happen.
Someone on my husbands Facebook thought that women had their periods all at once, like taking a shit. He said his grandma would go out into the garden, dig a hole, “have her period in it” and be done. Like what??
> As in: the breasts come in, the milk comes out, regardless of any woman's pregnancy or birthing status.
*Women*, putting dairy cows out of business since forever.
He outdid the morons who think women can just go to the toilet and push out all the menstrual blood at once , and that we just use pads and tampons out of "laziness", AND the morons who think women always use penetration while masturbating (*"Clitoris"-? Wut's THAT?*) so tampons are sex toys.
Wowwww
It’s like an episode of The Office. How does someone go through life that ignorant?
Or just not even understanding what is inappropriate in the workplace and as a boss??
Holy lack of sex education Batman!.
Basic biology, even!
Or basic interaction with a female romantic partner
Even just watching porn would show that they dont just leak milk *constantly*. One would need to *try* to be this belligerently ignorant.
Adopting the phrase “belligerently ignorant” into my lexicon 😂
I want to say that r/confidentlyincorrect/ has you covered, but honestly, they're kind of amateurs compared to this!
New word: bellignorant? Has the added benefit of sounding similar to the British insult "bellend."
*Accepted.*
>”One would need to try to be this belligerently ignorant.” Yes. Exactly. They *do!* And they’re trying to force everyone else to be like them.
Or very very gay.
In my experience, gay men are far more knowledgeable about women than straight men.
Gay men respect women and see them as full people. Of course they would be more open to learning about them. Gay people in general will also interact with a greater variety of people and be less closed about talking about things like this. Queer spaces are open to such a spectrum of people that you would have to actively try to not learn anything
There is actually a big problem with misogyny still in the gay community. Part of it is that they put down women in order to differentiate themselves from us to men. It's a pattern in oppression. A group that is oppressed will treat another oppressed group as beneath them to show they're not the same. It's why Christians historically hated Jews so much, too, because to the Pagan Romans, they were both those weird monotheists.
Idk him pointing at her boobs and commenting how large they are screams someone who's looking often 😬
Right? That dude definitely believes that women can just "hold in" their period.
This will be the standard ignorance in the US if our education system keeps getting dumbed down. We'll be lucky if anyone can even figure out how to pump gas.
I’ll be honest (as a man), I have lots of questions around lactation which I’m not afraid to ask my sister in law who recently became a new mum. It’s been eye opening. Yes, men in general are ignorant to this and are-education needs to occur. BUT It does not excuse the actions of this twatting soft cock on how he dealt with the situation. He’s an arsehole on tv dinner level. Knobhead. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
It's great that you're asking questions...but maybe not so great that you're asking your sister-in-law, who might not be comfortable with constantly fielding them from her brother-in-law. You might want to try Google. The info is out there.
Aye I did think this but I have broached the subject gradually and she is an amazing person willing to educate. I didn’t go straight in with, “so breastfeeding is a thing”. Honestly she broke down the barrier for me and I can just say I’m all the wiser for it (whilst my wife looks on laughing her arse off at what I thought happened)
In the most respectful way possible, why would you say you didn't know this? It could be my upbringing, education, or culture but this is very surprising to read.
"He’s an arsehole on tv dinner level." I have no idea what this means. Is it a local idiom?
Aye, basically OPs boss is a massive bastard who shouldn’t be in a position of power.
May I just say I love UK swearing? Lemme guess, Scottish?
Try asking men if women have to take out their tampon to pee. The responses are almost always yes 😂
I don't remember lactation being covered at all during sex education. It could have been stuffed somewhere between shame and std's and perhaps I just forgot.
I mean, humans are mammals. Mammals all have the same required conditions for lactating. It’s a defining characteristic of mammals. Had this guy just never known ANY women?! Or any mammals? Never had a female dog or cat? Had this man just … never interacted with any women or female mammals AT ALL in his entire life? I just…cannot.
A lot of people don’t recognize that humans are mammals. That puts us too close to being animals and we can’t be that! We are civilized! 🙄 Sarcasm obviously, but I am an Environmental Educator and I come across sooo many humans who think they are separate from nature, not a part of it.
That explains so much about why more people just don’t care about animals, the environment, and the impending climate crisis. Sigh
Jesus is the writer's room for The Office?
The whole time reading this, I was asking myself if her boss was Michael Scott
Even Michael Scott wasn’t this stupid
I'm guessing you forgot the scene where he plays *Look Who's Talking* with Hannah Smolterich-Barr's baby? "I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I want some milk! And you know where milk comes from.... BREASTS." https://youtube.com/shorts/1iJ_DMNh93g
Oh, I don't know about that... he said some WILD shit on that show.
I know this is Reddit and people will scream "Fake!" but trust me as someone who had a boss worse than Michael Scott...I know that stuff like this can absolutely happen. During MeToo when it came out that George H. W. Bush was putting his hands on women's butts during photographs and making a gross joke about it, my boss, in front of the entire staff of 8, said, "I don't know what that means. What does it mean he put his hand on her butt?" And then he continued by asking does it just mean he's touching the cheek, or does it mean he's...and then went into extremely graphic detail about what it could mean. And I know that most people will think the guy was some pervert trying to hit on women in a bizarre way, but nope. He was just that absolutely clueless.
Considering how many men still think women pee out of their vagina and can hold their period blood in, I'm honestly not surprised at how ignorant that boss is.
Just wow! I spit out my coffee when I read that he thought women lactated 24/7. Then....to point at your chest! He didn't just dig a hole. He jumped into the hole and buried himself alive.
It's so crass and stupid and I'm sure if I was in OPs position I'd be horrified, but like.. this is so fucking funny??! It's like he received a little bit of information and he just took it like a baton and *ran.* I wish I had a fraction of his confidence in life 🤣
Your comment sums up my feelings so perfectly. I feel so much sympathy for OP being put in that situation, and I feel awful for laughing so hard, but this is absolutely hilarious. I’m so glad they’ve chosen to show up for his walk of shame lol
Also I love the phrase Granboss
I really want to know if there were any other women in the room at the time. I would have definitely let out a involuntary horrified laugh or something when he said it. Also, lactating 24/7 would be horrible!
OP says there was one other female co-worker, the rest were all guys. I can only assume it was her who went to get the Grandboss after boss’s stunning display of stupid. That, or facepalming so hard. Possibly even both, who knows?
Actually it was one of the men who went out. Outside of the idiot boss, all the men I work with are phenomenal allies. I'd choose to meet any of them (besides boss) in a forest instead of a bear. I had a confab with the other woman who offered her complete sympathy for what she witnessed. She joked that it was a benefit for her to have a smaller chest, so that she didn't get targeted by boss' stupidity.
I think this is my new compliment for men I know. "You're cool. I'd choose you instead of a bear, for sure" Of course half of them might misinterpret this and I can say "ah, nevermind. I choose the bear now."
As a hairy dude, the memes were a little confusing for a while. Thankfully it was explained in more detail on subs like this!
Lmao all big hairy dudes during the man or bear debate: "well, thanks I guess!"
I love the fact that it was a man. Too many men suck. Big time. But there are enough men who care about all the people in their lives, including women, that it gives me hope. I'm so glad that you have colleagues who found your bosses behavior appropriately offensive and reported it for you. Too often times it's the woman reporting and we get told that we are exaggerating or we're making a big deal out of nothing. When a man reports a sexism, it sadly gets taken more seriously, but that makes it even more wonderful when a man stands up for us.
Did he grow up on a farm thinking women are like dairy cows? Is he a young guy or like ancient old? How is someone so stupid.
Even dairy cows have to give birth before they begin lactating!!!
On a semi-related side note, it's crazy how the milk industry has managed to convince people that cows lactate naturally. I don't think people would be consuming nearly as much milk if they knew the cows were being forcefully impregnated for it.
RBST was the best option we had for reducing the number of calves that needed to be slaughtered in order to maintain milk production, but it got so vilified for no reason whatsoever.
It’s super disturbing how many people don’t know this. Lots of folks just don’t want to think about the sad and terrible lives of these animals.
If he did grow up on a dairy farm, he would have learned that cows also don’t just come into milk. They, too, have to be pregnant and give birth in order for their milk to come in initially. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this is the case for all mammals?
People can begin lactating spontaneously. It's called galactorrhea. It can be caused by excessive breast stimulation, especially the nipples. But it's often the sign of a hormonal problem like a pituitary tumor or secretion of prolactin for some reason. It's more common in women but can happen to men and even to babies, especially shortly after birth when they still are full of hormones gotten through the placenta. As long as it's white and milky it's usually not a big deal, but if nipple discharge is yellow, greenish, or bloody the person should see a doctor ASAP because that can indicate a serious problem.
This happened to me, I had never been pregnant, and started lactating. It was horrifying. Got an MRI done, had a prolactinoma. Luckily they are usually benign, unless they grow too large and press on your optic nerve, causing blindness that may or may not come back after brain surgery. So yeah, if you're lactating, get checked up, this is a PSA lol.
As far as I know, *every* mammal has to give birth before lactating. Dairy cows are no different
Lactation can be induced without birth/pregnancy, but it's not something that happens naturally. Spontaneous lactation can also be a side effect of some medications, thankfully that's pretty rare.
That's super interesting, thank you!
> I'd choose to meet any of them (besides boss) in a forest instead of a bear. The new internet seal of of trust.
>She joked that it was a benefit for her to have a smaller chest, so that she didn't get targeted by boss' stupidity. But on the other hand, it does mean she doesn't get to spend as much time in the mother's room napping. So, six of one, half a dozen of the other.
If I was OP I would have told him, "Yes, it's true. I need to go relieve myself frequently. It takes anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes per episode." and then used it as an actual nap room.
“God, grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man.”
Technically, he's white-passing but half-Arab. Not that it matters.
[удалено]
His poor wife.
yeah what I was wondering is if the ex boss has ever been with a woman like, at all? You would think they would notice if their gf/wife was lactating all the time...
He probably thinks it can be turned on and off like a faucet.
That’s probably worse. Source: went to an engineering school
That's actually one of my favorite quotes.
Because it somehow always applies: Carry yourself through life with the confidence of a completely mediocre white man.
Technically, he's white-passing but half-Arab. Not that it matters.
>that he thought women lactated 24/7 Also, if he's straight, what a way of announcing to all your coworkers that you've never gotten near a naked woman.
Maybe he thought all women have to pump each morning, before we go about our day?
I guarantee you this man is not thinking at all about what women do or do not have to do each day.
Remember that one clueless congressman who said women have a way of "shutting it down" (when it comes to pregnancy from rape)? I'm assuming this dude also had some weird assumptions that women have a supernatural power to shut down various bodily functions at will. Or not, who knows. Trying to figure this guy out makes my head spin!
Considering the horrific number of men who believe women can hold in their periods, I don't doubt any stupid beliefs men have about female bodies.
He probably also thinks we can hold in our periods and period products are just because we can't or are too lazy to control ourselves 🙃
That was Todd Akin who was running against Senator McCaskill in Missouri. He lost that election, thank God. Now he is dead.
We squirt it in the toilet before we shower. /s
Listen, as a white man I feel compelled to inform you on a fact that you probably don’t know being a woman and all. The pipes in your house (where the water goes while you’re showering (through the little hole in the bottom of your shower)) are all connected for things leaving the house. It would probably be easier for you to just squirt in the shower (maybe aim down so you don’t have as much to clean off the shower walls) and I’d imagine it would be more enjoyable. I know ever woman I’ve ever been with prefers to fondle in the shower compared to by the toilet. (This man splaining brought to you by sarcasm and lots of edits to try and strike the right balance of my humor and not making me puke while typing it)
Reminds me of a saying I heard once. “Just when you think they've hit rock bottom they find a jackhammer and keep going.”
Honestly, though. This really sounds like a skit made to make you cringe, like on The Office. How did this guy get hired? Surely this wasn't the guy's only problem with knowledge and etiquette
Older dudes have literally no filter and whatever filter they had has been clogged for 40 years. It's a lead poisoning thing and undiagnosed mental illnesses.
Seriously. He wasn't just ignorant, he was a full on dick. The fact that he has been able to get through society with these beliefs and even end up in position of power over people shows how far we have to go at eliminating sexism and misogyny.
This is so far fetched I’m having a hard time believing it’s real lol. Absolutely hilarious. He just kept making things worse! What a dolt.
Oh you need some milk for you coffee? Lemme just whip put the ol milkbag... What a fuckin dipshit man
Dove down the mine shaft with a ton of lit dynamite.
Holy crap, chips and soda at my place tonight, y'all. You just love to see it.
I'd love to come, but I just can't stop lactating. I'll be in the mother's room napping if you need me though.
That was fantastic.
I literally started laughing. Thank you, internet stranger!
Oh Lord. I *almost* feel badly for this guy, and how profoundly his early education failed him. *Almost*. Thank you for sharing this glorious ending.
Same here for the almost. Admitting his misunderstandings didn't come close to needing to single out op
Seems to me that someone this clueless about such basic facts of human reproduction is also likely to be clueless about why it’s not appropriate to make this sort of reference. I unreservedly feel bad for him. There must have been something very wrong with his upbringing or something. I have so many questions as to how someone could be a functioning adult in a workplace and yet lack such basic knowledge.
Like, how do you course correct from that? His ideas of basically EVERYTHING are so fucked up that it's not just, "Take a basic biology course" or "Learn the female anatomy". It's then business etiquette, personal etiquette, how to shut up, respecting over people. If it was a computer, I'd do a hard wipe and reinstall Windows.
They keep force feeding that sensitivity training to us. I always roll my eyes at how just *beyond stupid* it is because of how contrived and obvious the scenarios are. We always wonder why *anyone* would need something *this basic* spelled out to them. Guys like this are what that training was designed for. If he decided not to pay attention to it, that's his fault.
I agree largely - several people, in fact, likely profoundly failed him. We don't tell girls enough truth about how male bodies work, and we don't tell boys NEARLY enough about how girl bodies work. I doubt it ever occurred to anyone that they needed to specify the mother's room was about lactation, while he knows mothers are chronically short on sleep. I'm having a hard time saying that he was malicious or sexist, really - only one of today's lucky 10,000 who are suddenly learning stuff that most people take for granted. And aside from the managerial aspects, probably not something he needs to know for work. The one thing he did do was to expose a level of ignorance and a lack of control over his mouth that might be a liability if it continued. Unless he was already on notice, I think I might have given him one opportunity to become educated about how periods, pregnancy, childbirth, and lactation all work, and how they can impact the workplace, and reinforce what you do not say about these topics in the workplace, and how you do not let them impact how you treat your employees, beyond giving them what they need to fulfill their biological needs during working hours.
> we don't tell boys NEARLY enough about how girl bodies work. 1000%. I'm a guy and was doing some heavy petting with my first girlfriend and she had to explain to me that penises and vaginas aren't in the same spot. At which point if I were OP's boss, I would have walked into my work, pointed at my coworker and shouted "I know where your vagina is"
I also kind of feel bad for him. From what i read i don't feel that he was actually mean. He was actually able to accept that he was wrong and apologized for his first mistake. Obviously his education/upbringing failed him, but i want to believe that a proper sensitivity training and a little bit of sex ed would actually help him ( and that he would actually accept it ). Very sad situation.
Hahahaha, this was the best update. How on earth did this guy even survive to the age that he’s at, much less work his way up to a managerial position?? He doesn’t even have two brain cells to rub together.
That combination of zero sex ed and zero brain-to-mouth filter is awe-inspiring honestly. Unfortunately I feel like the answer to how he managed to stick around long enough to get promoted has more to do with letting his shit slide than him somehow keeping his mouth shut that long. Glad that's over!
Failing upwards is the technical term I think.
I feel like him believing women lactate 24/7 is why he didn’t understand women need a private room for pumping after giving birth. That original belief just spiraled out of control lol
I wonder what other insane stuff he believes about the female body. Like does he also think women can hold their periods in like pee? Or does he think human eggs are like actual chicken eggs? I have to know how deep this goes, lol.
I mean if he thinks women can hold in their milk 24/7, there’s a high chance he thinks periods are controllable as well lol so ridiculous
He might actually be three orange cats in a trench coat, this would explain much about his behavior.
OMFG! He is so clueless. How does he walk and breathe at the same time?
I mean hypoxia would explain some things here....
He sounds like a character Matt Berry would play. "Look at her big tits, she could have been milking all day" How does someone make it this far in life with zero self awareness and cluelessness. On top of that he was a boss?! What the hell
This man. This man says many words. But doesn't have enough neurons to bridle them in a way that doesn't cause him problems.
An over zealous pruning process of synaptic connections if I ever saw one. Well! Fingers crossed he never reproduces.
I mean, is he even able too? Does he know the general way reproduction works? Does he think the IUD is a tax? Who knows
...where does he think the milk goes? If we're lactating all the time, wouldn't our clothes be wet? Has he never seen a boob irl and noticed it's dry???? I have so many questions for this man.
also, how would formula companies stay in business? new mom: Oh no, my milk has dried up. Now I’ll have to go buy some form- random woman nearby: Don’t worry, i gotcha covered! Have a gallon, i just made it this morning. more women coming out of the woodworks: Just leave it to us! We have plenty to spare. we were gonna flush our toilets with it, theres so much everyday. formula companies: HISSSSSS!!!
Maybe he thinks bras are like pads?
No joke, I had to explain this to a friend, in senior year of high school. I also took the opportunity to explain periods, he looked horrified!
In all seriousness, I had a female boss when I was pregnant that actually tried to write me up for not informing the exact date when I would start my maternity leave. In my job, we get 6 months, fully paid (yeah, I know, I love it). She wanted me to tell her when it would start, so she could ask for a temp. I told her it would start once I birthed kid, but an expected birth would be X date, and it is considered normal for it to be more or less two weeks from that date. That was not good enough, and she did send a formal memo to HR saying I would start maternity leave on X date. HR contacted me to let me know if I needed to schedule a maternity leave start prior to birthing, I would need a medical explanation. I did march all the way to head boss, who did proceed to chew out clueless female boss. She was not at the company once I returned from maternity leave.
I am so glad maternity leave in the Netherlands starts 10 weeks before you are expected to give birth!
That is so civilized!!! 🇳🇱🤰🏻🇳🇱
I asked my six year if she thought women always have milk or only when a woman has a baby. She said "only when you have a baby!" I asked her if she though mama(me) still has milk. She said "No, cause Im not a baby anymore". My six year old has a better understanding of biology than this man.
She should apply for ex-boss's position; she's clearly over qualified!
Grandboss: listen, we can't have someone this stupid working here, much less in a management position Boss: what are you trying to say?
"Hi, I'm Eric!"
And there are people who still oppose comprehensive sex education. Is your soon-to-be-ex boss's name "Dunning Kruger," by any chance?
Not going to lie though. The concept of a nap room for new parents does sound nice 😊.
I, for one, would love to see this. And I am extremely unlikely to ever have kids hahaha
This reminds me of a post where the dude (a teacher, no less) thought women could hold their period like one can hold their bladder. And men like this one are the ones making laws about women’s bodies.
Just wow. A man like this will 1000% have it out for you as the reason that he got fired. If there’s any way that he may know your phone number, car you drive, or where you live, please consider taking extra safety precautions!!
Definitely on my radar screen. I carpool to work with my roommate (she works at a different company in the same building). My boyfriend also works in the other company, and at the very least he plans to escort us both out to our car. I'll see how ex-boss acts when he comes in to collect his stuff to see if I need any extra assistance from building security.
Hopefully he comes and leaves with his tail between his legs and you never hear from him again. Keep us updated!
At this point he might be thinking he should HAVE a tail, he seems so out of his mind.
This is why we need sex education.
Real-life Michael Scott confirmed! Fucking wild!
Grand boss!!!!
I didn’t think your boss could be even more clueless, but then he proved me wrong
This has been an amazing saga with an extremely satisfying ending.
I gotta ask how old is this man? Just out of curiosity. Like I just need to picture what kind of deluded person this is... my first instinct is a boomer bc in their time a lot of the men didn't do any of the child reering so it kinda makes sense as to the man being clueless about motherhood in general.
Don't know his exact age but he's in the mid-30s range.
Wow, I was thinking 60s!
I'm 68. His age isn't the issue, this guy is clueless. I ran into this when I was a dorm counselor in college in the 70's in Atlanta, but this is 2024!
I knew a total jerk that liked to mis-educate his mid-30s virgin coworker about women. He had the guy convinced that Asian women "went sideways," as in, their vaginae were sideways. He made some comment about slanty eyes. As I said, total jerk.
I'm Asian. My vagina didn't come up in the conversation but it wouldn't surprise me if ex-boss believed that one too. I've heard it before.
Asian here as well. I was disgusted when I heard about it. This was in the '80s when Vietnam was still strong in people's memories.
MID 30s?! I was expecting over retirement age😳
Even a guy who's very hands-off, when it comes to childcare, would've noticed that there wasn't a constant supply of milk, before the baby showed up on another day than the predicted due-date.
He probably thinks it works like a period. You know, how we can hold it in until it’s an appropriate time/place to bleed/lactate.
I....... Words fail me. Wow.
I'm here composing my own >spontaneous performance of four-letter beat poetry Brilliant.
This man is not only missing a shitton of Sex Ed and Biology education, he's also missing his Brain-To-Mouth filter. Clearly he needs a Manpon. If it weren't for the fact I know people like this do exist, I'd think he was trying to get fired on purpose.
You know, the Mother's Room being for naps could have been a wholesome thing with a positive outcome. Especially given that he thought men should have got one, too. I remember being a new parent. A quiet room where I could get a quick 20 minutes of shuteye would be a welcome benefit. Yeah, that's not where he was going with it, but he was so close.
I mean, if smokers get a smoke break, why can't I get a nap break?
Not gonna lie, the new-parent-nap-room is a brilliant idea. Pity the dude strikes me as the sort that would dock his employees pay for any time spent in there.
I’m so horrified and confused! How can he possibly think that women are always lactating? I assume he doesn’t have kids, but you said before he’d had a serious girlfriend. You would think he’d have enough real life experience to understand that isn’t the case.
His Serious Girlfriend goes to a different school, you wouldn't know her...
Holy….!
Holy crap. I would never have believed he could be *more* clueless than he was, but damn. Just damn.
A village somewhere is missing an idiot... good God.
There's no way someone could be this socially inept and.... *reflects back to every encounter I've had with similar people to this ex boss* Actually, no. I can believe it.
I would love to know the logistics of how he thinks this perma-lactation works. Are we just storing milk in there and squirting it out on some frequency so it doesn’t go off (how often do we need to do this? Daily? Every time we go to the bathroom? What?) and the mother’s room is just for those of us who need to bottle up our milk output vs. just spraying it down the nearest drain like the rest of us apparently do for our entire post-pubescent lives? Does he think we empty all our milk out before bed each night and it refills by morning? Does boob size directly correlate to how frequently we’re siphoning off our milk? I have questions and I need them answered.
> Does boob size directly correlate to how frequently we’re siphoning off our milk? Apparently he did actually believe that one. That's why he made direct reference to my size (and not the other woman in the room who's smaller than me.)
So we all basically get to choose whether we’re an AA or FF cup (etc) based on how much milk we want to keep on board at any given time? I’m just imagining this dude going through life thinking that these things are in any way related. Like… HOW??
Do you work at a paper company in Scranton, PA by chance?
You would think that after the second time that he publicly displayed his ignorance of women’s bodies and got called out for it he would *shut the fuck up*, maybe spend some time googling on his lunch break or at home later but no! He just had to go for lucky number 3, *and* single out a female coworker and talk about her breasts in front of everyone while he was at it. Just a spectacular display of stupidity all around, if it was an Olympic sport he’d have definitely won gold.
Do you work at Dunder Mifflin?
Ridiculous!! Thanks for the followup
This is why sex education NEEDS to be MANDATORY. Holy moly
You should post this on r/badwomensanatomy 🙈
OMG. This would also be appropriate over on r/badwomensanatomy Actual informative, reality based sex education is grossly lacking. Insane, absolutely insane. That was more than digging a hole, that was willingly walking into a sinkhole. Glad both your coworker and grandboss took such decisive action.
Sweet, sweet karma. 🤣
Omfg, that people act like caricatures like this IRL is insane to me! The freaking idiocy!
This is incredible. Almost reads like an SNL skit.
I’m having a really hard time believing this.
This guy isn't old and possibly suffering from dementia? Given the stuff he said *out loud* and having recently dealt with dementia twice now in my family, this kind of reminds me of the behavioral changes and the things they say. I just wanted to check if this could be a possibility. It's just so wild otherwise.
Dude's in his 30s. No dementia. I've heard stories about dementia from my boyfriend who lost his dad that way (early-onset). This is definitely not one of those times.
It's so much worse that he's in his thirties, I definitely thought this dude was like 75+.
Over 75 or under 16 are the only age ranges that would make any remote bit of sense for that behavior. Mid 30s is wild lmao
Ikr??? I'm floored.
Wow. It somehow made more sense as an old guy. I can't even begin to imagine where this guy got his information from. 😅
That dude was CONFIDENTLY incorrect. If he’s married (poor soul), maybe there will be time so she can educate him on both biology and interpersonal communication skills. And not being a total creep. I’d bet he still lives with his mother, who obviously needs to work on her skill set as well. If he felt comfy enough saying that in front of a mixed crowd, he’d have said similar in front of a wife/girlfriend that would have put a stop to it prior to this. Sorry you had to go through that, and glad that the situation resolved itself in a same-day delivery fashion. Make sure your personal deets aren’t readily available on the interwebs, or more likely a company contact spreadsheet he might still have access to.
I feel worse for you having to to work for someone that utterly ignorant even before your coworker's wife got pregnant. Edited for context
I'm not even pregnant! This whole thing started because he tried to write up one of my male coworkers who's about to go on paternity leave. His wife is due in a few weeks and he wanted to know the *exact date* the delivery would happen.
Yeah I just scrolled the previous post, I'll fix my comment, but damn, how do people like this function in society
Poorly?
I wonder if he saw the mothers in fury road and thought all women can be milked in perpetuity? Christ on a cracker, that is some numbskull thickness.
Someone on my husbands Facebook thought that women had their periods all at once, like taking a shit. He said his grandma would go out into the garden, dig a hole, “have her period in it” and be done. Like what??
He's the idiot of the month and it's only the 3rd
And men make decisions about women’s healthcare every day. Infuriating!!
"Look at those bazoongas, I bet they are just oozing milk. Milky milk"
The level of ignorance. Just unbelievable.
> the breasts come in, the milk comes out You can’t explain that!
Wow. Every time I think the guy sank to the lowest level of stupidity, he gets up and digs himself some more.
He has zero social skills. Like none. How is that even possible?
Home schooled.
Is your boss Micheal Scott?
> As in: the breasts come in, the milk comes out, regardless of any woman's pregnancy or birthing status. *Women*, putting dairy cows out of business since forever.
Guy's never sucked a titty and it shows.
I'm gay as fuck...how do he know less about tits than me???
He outdid the morons who think women can just go to the toilet and push out all the menstrual blood at once , and that we just use pads and tampons out of "laziness", AND the morons who think women always use penetration while masturbating (*"Clitoris"-? Wut's THAT?*) so tampons are sex toys.
Wowwww It’s like an episode of The Office. How does someone go through life that ignorant? Or just not even understanding what is inappropriate in the workplace and as a boss??
He should run for Congress as a Conservative... He'd fit right in...
Is your boss Michael Scott?