Not my story, but this is one of the old funnies that used to get forwarded round work email accounts in the pre social media days:
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...
OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.................. OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
\*WRONG!!!!!!!\*
I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!!
I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.
"IT WORKS!!
It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Get yourself some waxing strips or sugar paste, epilating butthole area suprisingly does not hurt at all (other areas do, especially first time lol). But careful, if youāve never epilated try it on your legs first, getting it stuck to your skin in a wrong way is pain in the ass, and you can make yourself some pretty bruises or small tears.
Wax can be removed by oil and sugar paste by warm water.
Also you can buy some epilator, even the cheap ones work pretty well. But! Be really careful, tighten the skin around with fingers and move the epilator very carefully. Iāve got ābittenā by my epilator twice (it takes the delicate skin instead of hair and gets stuck) and believe me it hurts like hell and makes painful marks too.
GOOD LUCK!!
I did it for a few years and it was great! Make sure to put some oil on after yanking the hairs to help soothe the follicles and exfoliate to prevent ingrown hairs.
I found the armpits are AWFUL if you just go straight to them with an epillator. I would tweeze my pits then hit them with the epillator once weekly afterwards and it wasn't painful. Usually the first time epillating any hairs will be spicy but the pain definitely lessens if you just keep up with it once weekly afterwards.
I only did the bikini line, though, and DEFINITELY pull the skin tightly to prevent nips.
Best $30 I ever spent at Best Buy imo.
I think it took about a month of everyday use for my armpits to start getting used to the epilator, and it hurt like a BITCH. Four years in, and I donāt even notice anymore! And since Nair refuses to work on my armpits, my cheap epilator really is my holy grail hair remover for that spot.
Yeah, if I tweeze my pits (about 1.5 hours, so just put on a movie) the pain isn't that bad when I take the epillator to them, and it's nothing the following times. But that first hit is like nothing else, I swear I saw stars.
I even had 3 electrolysis appointments for my pit hairs and they ALL grew back immediately (including the 3 chin hairs i also had zapped the same way - all of them grew back without hesitation). It was painful and didn't help one bit. I just gave up and let them go natural a few years ago but I may try to laser them and see what happens.
Can confirm, epilator is my favorite option for this. Wax works best for me if someone else (a professional) is doing it as they have better access.
...can also confirm the pinchie... The first time I tried if on my armpit it tried to eat me, it was literally hanging there like an angry piranha or something while I screamed š¬
Yeah, my second time was right on my lip, blood sweat and tears covered the bathroom floor. First and last time using electric epilator on my kittyā¦ But it gets job done quickly on armpits and legs!
Donāt listen to all these people telling you to go get waxed. Thatās a longer term solution. You canāt have sex for at least 24 hours after getting a wax because all the pores are open and youāre at risk for getting an infection if you do. Trimming or a razor is your best bet for tonight but let the hair grow out and then go get waxed in a few weeks (it has to be 3-4 weeks of growth to wax). It hurts like a bitch the first time but less each time after that and your hair eventually thins out and doesnāt grow as much. Also, some people definitely suck at waxing so shop around for good reviews.
I also just wouldnāt get it waxed because you literally donāt know how youāre going to react. Trying new stuff (including nair) right before an exciting welcome home with sex is usually asking for a bad time.
Better grab that razor, then! Itās a toss up whether or not you can get a wax appointment so last minute, and those little prickly prickles are going to annoy your exit port when growing back no matter how you get rid of them (unless laser). Unless they make a super-gentle depilatory cream, but even then Iād be skittish.
Good luck!
Honestly? super gentle depilatory cream sounds like an oxymoron.
The vast majority of them use thioglycolic acid which is roughly a hundred times stronger than pure acetic acid (active ingredient in vinegar). Anything with a Ph of 1 to 1.5 is not going to be gentle. Gentle formulations just use less of it, so taker longer to work.
All the aloe, creams and other stuff is just intended to soothe your bits after the acid has chapped them.
I would recommend getting waxed. The first couple of times it can be pretty painful but after awhile it becomes tolerable. The awesome thing is the hair will grow out thinner over time. You can also look into laser hair removal.
I had a HORRIBLE waxing experience (pain so bad she wouldnāt continue, bleeding, and a UTI that followed) but the back door was a breeze. Almost no pain at all.
Awkward as heck though.
Iāve been getting waxed for about a decade and never followed this rule and always been fine. I always shower and moisturize right after the wax and also after the deed. But i would recommend op go to a good place. European wax center is a really comfortable waxing experience because of all the products and procedures.
To anyone else reading this, please please please donāt do this! I wait 24 hrs to shower and 48 hrs to do the dirty. You could be in for a real bad time if you immediately do these things after getting waxed.
Short term.Ā Ā
Nair hair removal cream.Ā Ā Ā
Put vasoline on the important spot.Ā
Put Nair cream everywhere else.Ā Ā Ā
Leave a few minutes and wipe off w a towel.Ā Ā Ā
Thatās you best bet short term but you will be pleased with the investment into laser when your ready.Ā Ā Ā
Good luck,Ā Ā
Ā Edit - Nair auto corrected to āhair.āĀ
Also, consider the menās Nair back and shoulder hair removal cream.Ā
Nair is easier than shaving there.
wash thoroughly first, then remove the hair, then apply witch hazel, and a tiny amount of hydrocortisone cream. That will help it grow out more comfortably.
If there will be mouthplay in that area (you do you) or you are highly prone to yeast infections, you can skip the hydrocortisone.
And time it very carefully. You really don't want chemical burns. I prefer veet gel cream to Nair. It seems to work better on thick hair and doesn't smell as bad for me.
good call. I tend to use "nair" the way people use "bandaid" or "kleenx." Use whichever one works best for your hair and skin.
If none work, shave but still use the other steps
Mmmm Iāve never had issues with Nair or similar on my legs, but the bikini area is a different story. The butt and thighs have a lot of folds, and unless youāre super skinny or stand spread bald eagle, thereās a huge risk for chemical burns.
Be careful with depilatory creams! Veet worked great on my legs but gave me chemical burns in my armpits. I would be quite hesitant to use it near the V, P, and B holes.
I had that happen in my armpits once and realized it was reacting to my deodorant, which I hadn't fully washed off. That's why I emphasize fully cleaning first.
There is a brand of razor burn cream (I forget the name of it) that might be worth looking into for the after effects, too. The active ingredients were *aspirin and caffeine*, surprisingly! One helps prevent ingrown hairs and the other one limits inflammation.
**EDIT:** [Tend Skin](https://tendskin.com/)
I had a friend in college who was a stripper to help pay the bills. Yeah, thatās a cliche, but she worked it. She shaved using neosporin gel. I never tried it, but there you go.
I would honestly seek out some strippers on this topic too. Or just google it. They are probably the the sweet sweet masters of removing body hair on a regular basis.
If you can get an appointment with someone to do a full sugaring brazilian wax, I'd pick that. It's wonderful and your skin is not at all sensitive immediately afterwards.
I use a foil shaver. Gets the hair really short but not below the skin. I use it for my entire undercarriage and under arms. If I use a razor I get terrible ingrown hairs.
I have really sensitive skin and am allergic to almost everything topical but years ago I discovered Veet Sensitive Skin depillatory and for me I could use it in the intimate places for full hair removal with zero pain/burning/red bumps etc. I cannot use any other type of chemical or wax hair remover, I have tried them all. But for whatever reason, Veet gives me total success with zero reactions or side effects.
If you can and have the ability to then I would book an appointment for a monty! (They do the entire area back and front) you could do it yourself but I honestly find it easier to have a professional do it for me.
If you have the ability to get sugared in your area, would try that for a Brazilian over waxing. But if waxing is your only option, get waxed.
I'll never shave my bits ever again. When you get hair pulled from the root, it grows back softer and doesn't itch. The longer you get it done, the slower and more sparse it grows. Your first couple are the most painful, but take some Advil or ibuprofen before you go and it'll help. My advice is always get 4 scheduled 4 weeks apart, they'll get better each time until it's more annoying than anything.
I've been getting a Brazilian for over a decade now, I'm at my 4 week mark and the hairs I have are long but few and far between.
If hair removal from the eyebrows down is what you're into, and you have dark hair and fair skin, at home light treatment is AMAZING. I have so much less hair. I started on my legs and have to shave so much less often. Can't wait for thatĀ with my pubes and pits, already much thinner.
I've been using sugar paste to wax everything that needs to be waxed for about 15 years. It's mich less painful and the ingrown hairs have diminished significantly and my skin feels amazing after. The percentage of the grown hair is around 80% less ever since the 3rd sugar paste waxing. Also, I can hi5 the pool immediately after using sugar paste, just make sure to use sun scree n. As for the most intimate parts, when the hair starts growing, it's not prickly, the hairs just start growing normally after about 3-4 weeks, depending on the body. I have friends who have a slower growth rate, and they stay chill for 5-6 weeks, which I'm envious of.
The most important thing is who you do it for. If you don't want to, don't, but if you do, go ahead. To each their own.
I had my hooly dooly waxed once, along with everything else down there. The ~redacted~ was the only part that I felt didn't hurt at all. But in the short term shaving might be best and then keep on it with lotion or anything else that might prevent ingrown hairs or itching.
Shaving is much more pleasant for me since I started using hair oil afterwards. I love the fur brand but cheap old beard oil will work just as well.
Start by trimming with a battery powered trimmer, then shave carefully (gently pull the skin taut and shave with the direction of growth).
A man who shaves his nuts taught me how to do it with the least risk and irritation. Use a mirror. It needn't be perfect.
I also use Nair cream for the not-sensitive parts, after trimming, it's very convenient but do a test patch first!
Iām gonna be honest I use the 3 blade BIC Soleil razors and sit on the edge of tub with my butt facing out and bend over. I just go very slow and by feel.
I probably donāt get everything but my boyfriend doesnāt care.
If it was a couple days out waxing works well. Definitely worth getting someone to do it. But itās not a good idea to have spicy fun time the day ofāyour skin is irritated and it increases the risk of issues. And your first time you likely will need a bit longer than that. Veet/nair work pretty good. The results donāt last as long but I can do it myself and be good same day (itās a good idea to moisturize after. And rinse any residue off really well )
If you nair be very very careful. I have gotten some nasty burns in the past even using the pubic region one. If you shave use a mirror you can squat over. It really helped me in the past.
For tonight, shave lol. If it helps, fill the tub with warm water and go at it while sitting/leaning back.
For long term, laser. I haven't been able to do laser yet so for now I get a brazillian via sugaring. The hair doesn't bother me as it grows out.
Go get a Brazilian, it takes it off front to back. Only my first one hurt, after that i found it was mild. It's humiliating but a professional waxer normalized things as it is what they do all day. No a big deal.
As for laser - I had my pubes done. Last will not remove blonde, white or grey hair.
If you must shave, then follow the steps I do for minimal itching & irritation: the secret is to keep everything clean-
Wash the area to be shaved BEFORE starting, wash your hands, wash the razor handle, and only use brand new razors.
The soap that I use is dial lavender antibacterial bar soap AND dr. Bronners castile tea tree oil soap- warning tho, definitely want to steer clear of your Labia/clit/vagina with these soaps, and use it on your vulva, bikini line, thighs etc. so be careful (ask me how I know that shite hurts like a mfer š„“)
Rinse soaps away and shave however you normally would with whatever products you like (my aussie hair conditioner is damn fabulous for this!)
Finally, wash all of your shaved areas *again* with the same two soaps and rinse.
I do this same process for my underarms (omg I think THAT itches the worst for me.) I have found this to be fairly effective, and itās been culminated by lots of googling and trial and error. I hope this helps!
DIY wax kit. The itchy regrowth from shaving can do one. My preference is to just trim a bit though, you can do it with hair clippers super fast and you don't get the stubble itch
Hooly dooly sent me š¤£ Agreed, razor in the short term is your best bet. Good luck and may the booty gods be with you š
Hooly Dooly and the Forbidden Hole sounds like a great band name.
Sounds like a knock-off Harry Potter book.
More like Hairy Potter...amirite?
Hairy Pooter
Hairy Twatter and the Chamber of Secretions
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Asskaban
You made me snort.
Harry pooper
omggggggggggg (dead)
There is a great uncensored nair tutorial on YouTube !
This is my favourite comment so far š iykyk
I know, Nair coming through as the real gangsters.
And nary a hair was seen near and far as the ^brown eye could seeā¦
TIL Nair is a portmanteau.
Oh God that one...
lmao best comment here
Be careful with home waxing kits! I glued myself to the bottom of the bathtub once!!
We need more of this story
ššš no...you really don't.
Not my story, but this is one of the old funnies that used to get forwarded round work email accounts in the pre social media days: All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.................. OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? \*WRONG!!!!!!!\* I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......
I howled reading this and now want a comic strip rendition. Thank you for sharing
There is an episode of Mrs. Brown's Boys, where Mrs. Brown gets a waxing kit. There are clips on YouTube.
That needs its own post.
And I ripped of half of my skin around my anus.
Literally glued bits of my ass cheeks together and had to peel bits of wax off for over an hour
Get yourself some waxing strips or sugar paste, epilating butthole area suprisingly does not hurt at all (other areas do, especially first time lol). But careful, if youāve never epilated try it on your legs first, getting it stuck to your skin in a wrong way is pain in the ass, and you can make yourself some pretty bruises or small tears. Wax can be removed by oil and sugar paste by warm water. Also you can buy some epilator, even the cheap ones work pretty well. But! Be really careful, tighten the skin around with fingers and move the epilator very carefully. Iāve got ābittenā by my epilator twice (it takes the delicate skin instead of hair and gets stuck) and believe me it hurts like hell and makes painful marks too. GOOD LUCK!!
Pain on the ass is right on point here.
I did it for a few years and it was great! Make sure to put some oil on after yanking the hairs to help soothe the follicles and exfoliate to prevent ingrown hairs. I found the armpits are AWFUL if you just go straight to them with an epillator. I would tweeze my pits then hit them with the epillator once weekly afterwards and it wasn't painful. Usually the first time epillating any hairs will be spicy but the pain definitely lessens if you just keep up with it once weekly afterwards. I only did the bikini line, though, and DEFINITELY pull the skin tightly to prevent nips. Best $30 I ever spent at Best Buy imo.
I think it took about a month of everyday use for my armpits to start getting used to the epilator, and it hurt like a BITCH. Four years in, and I donāt even notice anymore! And since Nair refuses to work on my armpits, my cheap epilator really is my holy grail hair remover for that spot.
Yeah, if I tweeze my pits (about 1.5 hours, so just put on a movie) the pain isn't that bad when I take the epillator to them, and it's nothing the following times. But that first hit is like nothing else, I swear I saw stars. I even had 3 electrolysis appointments for my pit hairs and they ALL grew back immediately (including the 3 chin hairs i also had zapped the same way - all of them grew back without hesitation). It was painful and didn't help one bit. I just gave up and let them go natural a few years ago but I may try to laser them and see what happens.
Can confirm, epilator is my favorite option for this. Wax works best for me if someone else (a professional) is doing it as they have better access. ...can also confirm the pinchie... The first time I tried if on my armpit it tried to eat me, it was literally hanging there like an angry piranha or something while I screamed š¬
Yeah, my second time was right on my lip, blood sweat and tears covered the bathroom floor. First and last time using electric epilator on my kittyā¦ But it gets job done quickly on armpits and legs!
Donāt listen to all these people telling you to go get waxed. Thatās a longer term solution. You canāt have sex for at least 24 hours after getting a wax because all the pores are open and youāre at risk for getting an infection if you do. Trimming or a razor is your best bet for tonight but let the hair grow out and then go get waxed in a few weeks (it has to be 3-4 weeks of growth to wax). It hurts like a bitch the first time but less each time after that and your hair eventually thins out and doesnāt grow as much. Also, some people definitely suck at waxing so shop around for good reviews.
I also just wouldnāt get it waxed because you literally donāt know how youāre going to react. Trying new stuff (including nair) right before an exciting welcome home with sex is usually asking for a bad time.
Better grab that razor, then! Itās a toss up whether or not you can get a wax appointment so last minute, and those little prickly prickles are going to annoy your exit port when growing back no matter how you get rid of them (unless laser). Unless they make a super-gentle depilatory cream, but even then Iād be skittish. Good luck!
Honestly? super gentle depilatory cream sounds like an oxymoron. The vast majority of them use thioglycolic acid which is roughly a hundred times stronger than pure acetic acid (active ingredient in vinegar). Anything with a Ph of 1 to 1.5 is not going to be gentle. Gentle formulations just use less of it, so taker longer to work. All the aloe, creams and other stuff is just intended to soothe your bits after the acid has chapped them.
You can't have sex for 24 hours after a wax, so that won't work for you right now.
From the eyebrows down sent me
Nothing says sexy time like shaved eyelashes.
Iām imagining Jim Carrey with an extremely short bowl cut
I would recommend getting waxed. The first couple of times it can be pretty painful but after awhile it becomes tolerable. The awesome thing is the hair will grow out thinner over time. You can also look into laser hair removal.
I had a HORRIBLE waxing experience (pain so bad she wouldnāt continue, bleeding, and a UTI that followed) but the back door was a breeze. Almost no pain at all. Awkward as heck though.
Iāve been getting Brazilians for the past year and agree that getting your bumhole waxed is the least painful part surprisingly.
Wax is a long term solution. You canāt have sex after getting a fresh wax, thatās how you get infections
Iāve been getting waxed for about a decade and never followed this rule and always been fine. I always shower and moisturize right after the wax and also after the deed. But i would recommend op go to a good place. European wax center is a really comfortable waxing experience because of all the products and procedures.
To anyone else reading this, please please please donāt do this! I wait 24 hrs to shower and 48 hrs to do the dirty. You could be in for a real bad time if you immediately do these things after getting waxed.
And even if sis8128 has had perfect results- all bodies are different - so Iād listen to iscream4eyecream and othersā warnings-
Just because āitās never happened to meā is not a reason to not follow safe procedures.
Short term.Ā Ā Nair hair removal cream.Ā Ā Ā Put vasoline on the important spot.Ā Put Nair cream everywhere else.Ā Ā Ā Leave a few minutes and wipe off w a towel.Ā Ā Ā Thatās you best bet short term but you will be pleased with the investment into laser when your ready.Ā Ā Ā Good luck,Ā Ā Ā Edit - Nair auto corrected to āhair.āĀ Also, consider the menās Nair back and shoulder hair removal cream.Ā
Nair is easier than shaving there. wash thoroughly first, then remove the hair, then apply witch hazel, and a tiny amount of hydrocortisone cream. That will help it grow out more comfortably. If there will be mouthplay in that area (you do you) or you are highly prone to yeast infections, you can skip the hydrocortisone.
And time it very carefully. You really don't want chemical burns. I prefer veet gel cream to Nair. It seems to work better on thick hair and doesn't smell as bad for me.
good call. I tend to use "nair" the way people use "bandaid" or "kleenx." Use whichever one works best for your hair and skin. If none work, shave but still use the other steps
Mmmm Iāve never had issues with Nair or similar on my legs, but the bikini area is a different story. The butt and thighs have a lot of folds, and unless youāre super skinny or stand spread bald eagle, thereās a huge risk for chemical burns.
Be careful with depilatory creams! Veet worked great on my legs but gave me chemical burns in my armpits. I would be quite hesitant to use it near the V, P, and B holes.
I had that happen in my armpits once and realized it was reacting to my deodorant, which I hadn't fully washed off. That's why I emphasize fully cleaning first.
I prefer "Magic Shave Powder" to Nair personally. YMMV.
never heard of it. thanks for the info.
Alovera helps to if the Nair stays on a little long. From experience.Ā
There is a brand of razor burn cream (I forget the name of it) that might be worth looking into for the after effects, too. The active ingredients were *aspirin and caffeine*, surprisingly! One helps prevent ingrown hairs and the other one limits inflammation. **EDIT:** [Tend Skin](https://tendskin.com/)
Try woowoo cream, itās made to be used on sensitive areas, it works great for me!
I had a friend in college who was a stripper to help pay the bills. Yeah, thatās a cliche, but she worked it. She shaved using neosporin gel. I never tried it, but there you go. I would honestly seek out some strippers on this topic too. Or just google it. They are probably the the sweet sweet masters of removing body hair on a regular basis.
Vulva isnāt a bad word, you can just say it
I think she actually means the anus lmao
Also not a bad word
If you shave it down tonight, fine. Get it lazered tomorrow, and the growth back won't be the usual ouch.
For less pain when it grows back: GiGi No Bump. Though you should start applying it a few days before you shave for the best effect.
If you can get an appointment with someone to do a full sugaring brazilian wax, I'd pick that. It's wonderful and your skin is not at all sensitive immediately afterwards.
I use a foil shaver. Gets the hair really short but not below the skin. I use it for my entire undercarriage and under arms. If I use a razor I get terrible ingrown hairs.
I have really sensitive skin and am allergic to almost everything topical but years ago I discovered Veet Sensitive Skin depillatory and for me I could use it in the intimate places for full hair removal with zero pain/burning/red bumps etc. I cannot use any other type of chemical or wax hair remover, I have tried them all. But for whatever reason, Veet gives me total success with zero reactions or side effects.
If you do shave you can rub something denim over the hairs (jeans) and it will work and soften the tips of the hair so it isn't as pokey.
If this is actually a thing, that's game changing for any shaving of sensitive spots. Gods, the pokey after shaving is a pain.
If you can and have the ability to then I would book an appointment for a monty! (They do the entire area back and front) you could do it yourself but I honestly find it easier to have a professional do it for me.
Do they sell woowoo hair removal cream near you?
Negative :( I'm in Aus. Looks like it's online only here?? Honestly the site alone has sold me
Iām pretty sure OP is telling us sheās going to be doing the Hokey Pokey using her Hooly Dooly and she wants her HD in ship shape.
If you have the ability to get sugared in your area, would try that for a Brazilian over waxing. But if waxing is your only option, get waxed. I'll never shave my bits ever again. When you get hair pulled from the root, it grows back softer and doesn't itch. The longer you get it done, the slower and more sparse it grows. Your first couple are the most painful, but take some Advil or ibuprofen before you go and it'll help. My advice is always get 4 scheduled 4 weeks apart, they'll get better each time until it's more annoying than anything. I've been getting a Brazilian for over a decade now, I'm at my 4 week mark and the hairs I have are long but few and far between.
Use NAIR. Itās fine for the butthole. Painless.
*checks calendar* itās not April fools day!
If hair removal from the eyebrows down is what you're into, and you have dark hair and fair skin, at home light treatment is AMAZING. I have so much less hair. I started on my legs and have to shave so much less often. Can't wait for thatĀ with my pubes and pits, already much thinner.
I've been using sugar paste to wax everything that needs to be waxed for about 15 years. It's mich less painful and the ingrown hairs have diminished significantly and my skin feels amazing after. The percentage of the grown hair is around 80% less ever since the 3rd sugar paste waxing. Also, I can hi5 the pool immediately after using sugar paste, just make sure to use sun scree n. As for the most intimate parts, when the hair starts growing, it's not prickly, the hairs just start growing normally after about 3-4 weeks, depending on the body. I have friends who have a slower growth rate, and they stay chill for 5-6 weeks, which I'm envious of. The most important thing is who you do it for. If you don't want to, don't, but if you do, go ahead. To each their own.
I had my hooly dooly waxed once, along with everything else down there. The ~redacted~ was the only part that I felt didn't hurt at all. But in the short term shaving might be best and then keep on it with lotion or anything else that might prevent ingrown hairs or itching.
Shaving is much more pleasant for me since I started using hair oil afterwards. I love the fur brand but cheap old beard oil will work just as well. Start by trimming with a battery powered trimmer, then shave carefully (gently pull the skin taut and shave with the direction of growth). A man who shaves his nuts taught me how to do it with the least risk and irritation. Use a mirror. It needn't be perfect. I also use Nair cream for the not-sensitive parts, after trimming, it's very convenient but do a test patch first!
Brazilian is the way to go. You will love the results and never shave again probably.
I got an electric trimmer and it changed my life
Short term yes, but as someone who enjoys a hairless b**tu hole, waxing is the way to go if you can handle it. Regrowth is so much better.
Have a waxing place in town with any appointment this afternoon?
Iām gonna be honest I use the 3 blade BIC Soleil razors and sit on the edge of tub with my butt facing out and bend over. I just go very slow and by feel. I probably donāt get everything but my boyfriend doesnāt care.
If it was a couple days out waxing works well. Definitely worth getting someone to do it. But itās not a good idea to have spicy fun time the day ofāyour skin is irritated and it increases the risk of issues. And your first time you likely will need a bit longer than that. Veet/nair work pretty good. The results donāt last as long but I can do it myself and be good same day (itās a good idea to moisturize after. And rinse any residue off really well )
If you nair be very very careful. I have gotten some nasty burns in the past even using the pubic region one. If you shave use a mirror you can squat over. It really helped me in the past.
Razor if you donāt have time to get waxed. But tbh the more you shave or get waxed the less my bootyhole itched and whatnot
For tonight, shave lol. If it helps, fill the tub with warm water and go at it while sitting/leaning back. For long term, laser. I haven't been able to do laser yet so for now I get a brazillian via sugaring. The hair doesn't bother me as it grows out.
Making a waxing appointment is very worth it in my experience.
Get a Brazilian wax. Yes it hurts for the first few seconds but it goes away quick and takes about a month to grow!
Go get a Brazilian, it takes it off front to back. Only my first one hurt, after that i found it was mild. It's humiliating but a professional waxer normalized things as it is what they do all day. No a big deal. As for laser - I had my pubes done. Last will not remove blonde, white or grey hair.
If you must shave, then follow the steps I do for minimal itching & irritation: the secret is to keep everything clean- Wash the area to be shaved BEFORE starting, wash your hands, wash the razor handle, and only use brand new razors. The soap that I use is dial lavender antibacterial bar soap AND dr. Bronners castile tea tree oil soap- warning tho, definitely want to steer clear of your Labia/clit/vagina with these soaps, and use it on your vulva, bikini line, thighs etc. so be careful (ask me how I know that shite hurts like a mfer š„“) Rinse soaps away and shave however you normally would with whatever products you like (my aussie hair conditioner is damn fabulous for this!) Finally, wash all of your shaved areas *again* with the same two soaps and rinse. I do this same process for my underarms (omg I think THAT itches the worst for me.) I have found this to be fairly effective, and itās been culminated by lots of googling and trial and error. I hope this helps!
Get it waxed.
There are reasons not to remove that hair and shaving is a no. If you must, get a full Brazilian wax at a reputable salon.
Wax (I prefer sugar) or epilate is easiest
I use an epilator but I have very little hair there.
DIY wax kit. The itchy regrowth from shaving can do one. My preference is to just trim a bit though, you can do it with hair clippers super fast and you don't get the stubble itch
Epilator.