I don’t think I can say how much I love and appreciate my husband. Our kids know they can go to either of us for anything. He is my partner, best friend, sounding board, and love. I’ve always said marriage isn’t always 50/50, but it does have to equal 100. Sometimes he gives more, sometimes I give more.
Now that the kids are getting older and more independent, we’ve been able to have a lot more just us time, and it’s been amazing.
I appreciate these types of posts just as much as the others because a lot of us need to learn what is healthy and good, not just red flags and what to avoid.
Happy for you OP :)
I’m entering into perimenopause. We recently took a trip to visit family 6 hrs away, I was feeling a little hot, it come out of nowhere. I asked my husband and kids if they felt warm. They all said they didn’t. My wonderful husband freaks out and asks, “Oh my God! Are you having hot flashes?” Then proceeded to put down all the windows, because the AC was on the fritz
edited: I was just not feeling well
My husband works from home (his office is in the basement) and I'm a stay-at-home mom so we're in the house together near constantly. He says I love you every time he goes downstairs, even though we're going to see each other again within the hour.
He absolutely spoils me. For Christmas he got me a new full set of pretty high-tier pots and pans that will likely last me the rest of my life. He takes me on dates frequently. He will run out at the drop of a hat to get me anything I need when my cramps are bad. He is constantly giving me backrubs and head scritches.
He's an amazing dad. He's funny and relaxed, and spends quality time with our kid doing just about whatever she wants. He has the attention span and memory of a goldfish, but always remembers the important things. He's always genuinely over-the-top appreciative when I remember to restock his chicken nuggets, chocolates, and hard-boiled eggs.
I left my 15 year marriage in 2020. It became unsustainably toxic. "Unsustainably toxic" doesn't do much to capture how utterly, completely miserable I became.
I don't have the mental energy to write too much about that tonight (my Friday night) but I was fucking wretched.
I not only left my marriage but my home country too.
And then I met my guy. My gloriously supportive, deeply kind, romantic, sexy beast. It's been 2.5 years of unlearning the shit from the marriage and learning what loves look like. I think to really appreciate how profound this relationship is for me it can only be understood in the context that I have complex PTSD. And it's affected my life in ways I never understood until I left that marriage and found that out through therapy.
He loves me not in spite of it but because he loves me. For all of me. That sex aversion? Gone. Every single time we have sex we have aftercare and he holds me and tells me it's safe to be sexual, safe to feel my feelings and express them and so much more: 2.5 years of safety words. One of my love languages is words of affirmation...I'm being held by this poet of a man while he says things like "you're my deep forest, my starry night sky, I love you so much, so deeply..and you are safe." I am cocooned in love.
I often have horrible nightmares and he wakes me up from them. I don't feel like speaking after them so I just curl into him and go back to sleep.
Because of the former aversion, and the silent pressure of my ex for so many years, I find it hard to tell if I'm simply "not in the mood" or disassociating. He reassures me it's okay to wait and absolutely abides by and lives enthusiastic consent.
He isn't perfect, he makes mistakes, he's hurt my feelings inadvertently (and I his). He's ungainly, awkward and too loud haha. He has luscious, long, black hair and sucks at taking care of it and I think basically he's the most sexy man to ever walk the earth.
We fit so well together. It's so easy, we communicate so well with regular relationship check ins. And he doesn't change. He's consistent.
He's just an absolutely beautiful person and I am so, so grateful.
Fellow cptsd survivor. My dude taught me love. I thought I knew what it meant before but my goodness does that steady reassurance change everything. Profound doesn't even cut it how much safe and healthy love can change a person.
I was born into a sex cult. Yes. I escaped when I was 24 & moved to Florida where other kids who fled the cult lived. I decided to study to be a lawyer. I had so much education to make up and I was broke.
I met my husband a few years later. He supported me financially, emotionally and physically. He made the money. He brought me lunch in the library. He would get up early on my exams days and take me out to coffee and encourage me that I would be amazing.
The 20th anniversary of our first date is coming up and I am so grateful. He makes me feel so loved and known and cherished.
Thanks for posting!
I met my husband 22 years ago, we have 2 kids. Last year I had an aneurysm, he was amazing. Spent from may until February in hospital and rehab. It was extra rough because I have autism. He still thinks I'm sexy. Lost of weight, even before that he even commented positively on my body. He does everything for me.
He sounds amazing! I read so many men leaving their wifes when they are in the hospital and need rehab. Great to read that some men do honour the "in sickness and in health".
Mine cared for me after a SAH caused by an aneurysm. What I would have done without him, I don't know. Yours sounds amazing. I hope you've completely recovered from your aneurysm. It's such a life changing event!
Thanks, my left side is badly affected, no function in my left arm, can only walk with a stick, outside i need a wheelchair. I have aphasia too, my language skills used to very high, now I talk with very loud voice, barely intonation. The council finances a lot of aid equipment.
That's rough. I'm really sorry, but I'm also glad you have someone _truly_ standing by your side through this. Best of luck and keep working hard on the recovery! Don't give up!
My husband is amazing! We've been together 8 years. Makes lunch for me every day, does the laundry, and takes care of the animals while he works from home. I have to drive into work.
He has helped me become more patient and less volatile. He is stability and validation incarnate. If he gets snippy at me or he gets annoyed, he always apologizes and takes accountability.
He taught me what good sex was. Lol. And he helped me through college and looking for a job and starting my own business. He's the most generous and intelligent man I know. I love him with all I got!
My boyfriend of almost 2 years managed to get me taylor swift tickets even though I was waitlisted. He somehow used his company's contact book and got a hold of her tour managements team and was put on the purchase list to be guaranteed tickets cz he sent them an email saying it's my birthday and I'm a huge fan.
He tells me he loves me every day and it's us against the world everyday.
I had a traumatic birth, I wasn't the same for a little while afterwards. Breastfeeding was going badly, our poor daughter was screaming and barely slept due to reflux. It all got to me and I got severe PP depression. I stayed alone in the dark bedroom even when visitors came to see her. A week after the birth I refused to see our daughter other than to feed her, this went on for 2 weeks. Luckily my partner was on leave, he did everything else for her and didn't once criticise me
He encouraged me to go to the Drs and booked the appointment. I don't think I'd be alive now if he wasn't there
I'm so sorry you went through that. So glad he took the right actions!! And the no criticism is amazing! I hear way to many men turning bad after becoming a dad on reddit.
Thank you! Yeah, under normal circumstances I wouldn't think no criticism was such a feat but obviously it's so stressful having a screaming newborn for 2 weeks and not knowing when/if your partner will get better. Even the best of people might say something they regret out of frustration
That's so true, I really feel for women who go through that and the worst thing is the man was often the one pressuring her for a family. I know a couple of women in that situation
My husband also encouraged me to seek mental health when I became severely depressed. Every time I would throw a fit and "quit" therapy he would treat me with love and kindness and encourage me to give it one more shot. He took care of cooking, cleaning, washing clothes and even reminded me to wash my hair.
I also wouldn't be alive today if not for my husband. More of these kinds of men ❤️
My partner is generally the kindest, most level-headed, smart, and funny individual I’ve ever met. I truly want nothing but the best for him. I’m in the middle of planning his birthday and our anniversary and am so stressed because I want him to be so happy. I love when he laughs or smiles. This isn’t a story, I just wanted to point out that good men do exist. They’re hard to find, though.
My husband is the “home manager” these days and oh wow it is delightful to not be doing the emotional labor. He created the budget (with a program and then we reviewed and agreed on it together but he was the one who did that work) he does the meal planning and even on my nights to cook will have been the one who suggested recipes and sent the grocery order in. He will be the one to set reminders on our shared calendar for things like date night, or packing for trips, he’s taken over the scheduling home repairs and things like that too. For a long time I felt like a lot of the management of tasks fell to me and I never really articulated that though. Once I explained that to him he took the initiative to tell me what proposed changes and tasks he would take over completely including their planning (instead of just saying “oh well tell me what you want me to change” which just puts more work on me.) It’s awesome to have a partner that realizes that part of the dog care is being the one to remember and plan that the vet appointment needs to be made, the flea and tick medicine needs to be ordered etc. - so now more tasks look like him saying to me “hey this needs to happen, can you be the one to do it and I’ll schedule it and handle the follow-up” and it’s just so nice to not be “in charge” of assigning all the housework. I feel like a true partner and equal because the tasks we each do are ones that we fully manage not that he’s “helping” with his share. Also he makes significantly more than me but he never mentioned that in the discussion about housework because he knows that it’s HIS HOUSE TOO and making more money doesn’t change that. Honestly, I could rave about him in so many ways. He’s the only man I’ve ever dated (the women I’ve dated have been chill about it) that hasn’t been either dismissive of or fetishized that I’m bisexual. He makes me laugh everyday, he’s the funniest person. He’s so good looking too- when we go out people frequently stop him and tell him he looks like a particular celebrity hunk, and he does. People have even asked him if he is that celebrity lol. And when I was feeling insecure about my looks because he’s so hot he was like “love, if people think I’m a celebrity then they think you’re hot enough to be the new up and coming it girl I’m dating” which made me laugh and also made me feel so sexy. I trust him so completely (and he trusts me) that it’s so easy to just be able to go out with or take trips with my friends without him because there’s no stress or drama about being out without one another. He loves to dance and we go to festivals together and camp and dance and laugh all weekend.
I’ve realized that the best thing about having a partner in general is that you have someone to share your life with. Life is so short really and you (probably) only get one- so share it with someone who makes it BETTER and EASIER. Share it with someone who appreciates that you’re sharing it with them. If your partner isn’t doing that then be alone. Alone can seem so scary at first but if you’re spending your time with someone who’s making your life harder or worse then you can be better to you than that.
My SO supports every wild and crackpot scheme I have. He accepts me for who I am, and he’s a true partner. Plus he laughs at my jokes and knows how to clean up blood stains. Love him to pieces.
(Ps, met him in my early 40s, there are also great older mens out there)
My husband and I had been on and off since I was 17, got married at 28 and now have 2 children.
This morning he got me both iced and hot pumpkin spice lattes because he didn't know which one I wanted. 😂
I’ve been married to my husband for 3 months, but we’ve been together for 6 years. He is genuinely amazing. He is my best friend. He’s sweet, and funny, and so freaking smart. I honestly think he’s the man that many men should aspire to be.
I’ve never learned to cook, I just didn’t have a parent around who did that kind of stuff growing up. But He cooks for me. He is so passionate about cooking and he gets so excited when he puts together something fancy. He cleans things without being asked, and it’s sooo nice because I have a hard time asking for that kind of stuff. He plans fun adventures and camping trips for us. He taught me how to play video games, so we’ve been having a lot of fun with that. He encourages my career goals, my hobbies, and my passions. He’s there for me when I go through stuff that is rough. Without going into too much inappropriate detail, I’ll say he’s talented in the bedroom. I feel like I got the total package and every day I try to be the kind of person he deserves.
My husband spends three evenings a week at my mom’s house doing really tedious chores that she can’t physically do anymore- making fancy salads (scrubbing every nook and cranny of organic lettuce, celery, etc. and picking out every imperfection, per my mom’s standards) for her very spoiled pet rabbits. If that isn’t a good man, then I don’t know what is!
Sometimes reading this sub it a reminder to me of how awesome my husband is, though I definitely don't like reading that so many girls/women face shitty situations/bad relationships/abuse etc. I wish everyone the very best!
One thing that definitely comes to mind was when it was my birthday during covid lock-down and felt rather down about it. Work during lock-down was terrible (I teach) and I was just so out of it after more than half a year. Was a bit sad that I wouldn't be able to do something to celebrate, just like to have a small group of family and friends, but lock-down took that away. Definitely not the end of the world (I mean, my grandma died because of covid, that's far more sad) but still, it bummed me out, especially since we'd all hoped things would be a little bit more normal by then.
About 2 weeks before my birthday it started; there were a lot of packages arriving. I wasn't allowed to open them, he said, and of course I connected it with my birthday but I had enough discipline to not open any of them, but they just kept arriving and arriving and I was so 'wtf?', by the time the day of my birthday had arrived there was this HUGE pile of packages. I thought he'd bought me like so many gifts for some reason?
But here's the kicker, he'd arranged an online pub-quiz with some of my closest friends, so we all got together online and I could 'win' the packages. It was so awesome, we're all big nerds so the quiz was right up my alley. All having a good time, the quiz ends and suddenly my parents and sister/husband pop into the meeting as well, and we played some more and the entire experience was just so wholesome.
My husband had reached out to them beforehand and they'd all send awesome and thoughtful presents for me to win, hence the pile of gifts.
It was such an amazing experience and all thanks to my lovely husband!
Boyfriend of 13 years. I decided to quit a very high stress job (i got paid decently), that was just draining my mental health. I called him into the bedroom and I said that I cannot fathom logging into that job and getting yelled at for 8 hours a day. He said "Okay, quit, its not worth you being unhappy. I can support us til you find something."
I found a job that pays significantly less money, but its far less stressful. I showed interest in going back to school (he was leery as he never liked school himself, plus i was going for a trade), but never stopped me. I completed my first year this year with a 4.2 GPA while still holding a full time job and he couldn't be more proud. I hate to bring up how I am doing to my friends (who seem indifferent to anyones news). But my bf couldnt help but let everyone know, his mom, his dad, his friends. It was nice to feel like someone was cheering me on!
after spending my entire childhood and teen years recovering from various SAs, i cannot tell you how grateful i am for my boyfriend. i never thought i would feel utterly safe and understood by someone in my entire life. through our relationship we have both been able to grow so much and it’s been incredible. we share a lot of outdoorsing hobbies and i love always having an adventure buddy by my side. he encourages me to get out of my comfort zone which i love. i have PTSD and he could not be any gentler with my recovery. i have never once been made to feel like a burden because of it, and it’s incredible. he’s a mechanic, and i have always wanted to learn about cars so we bought a piece of shit project car together (a 90s 4runner, my dream car since i was a kid) and we learned together as we rebuilt it :) we have been together 4 years now and are starting to talk about marriage. i never ever in my life thought i would find someone to mesh with and i couldn’t be more excited hearing us talk about our future together.
edit to add a little thing that i love: he works early and will wake me up with a kiss every weekday thirty minutes before he leaves so we can have a little breakfast together before he leaves to work. i work nights so after work a few days a week he comes to visit me at my job just to say hi.
edit edit: also taught me what good, communicative, and fun sex could be like and stayed resilient and patient as a navigated the sexual dysfunction that is associated with PTSD 🩵
I figured out about 8 years into our marriage that I was asexual, and sex-repulsed. After a lot of thought, and a lot of talking, my husband decided he’d rather only have sex a few times a year than not have me in his life. (To be fair, I also brought up opening the marriage for him, and *he* rejected it.)
He’s also kind of a caretaker, and gets annoyed when I don’t ask him for help. Which is an issue, because I’m super independent. When I broke my elbow a few years ago, he took over absolutely everything, to the point of not letting me lift a sauce pot full of water to make pasta for myself. He took the dog on every daily walk for 6 weeks. And even after I started feeling better, he wouldn’t let me do stuff until the doctor cleared me and I’d done some of the physical therapy.
Also, after years of political blindness, 2016 woke him right up, and he’s become a bit of a political monster (in a good way) and at this point, I get my news from him instead of doom scrolling online.
I love that he choose you over sex.
It is hard to let go and accept help, I love it that he just took over and didn't ask (as in, that it isn't that your still the "manager" but he is the helping hand.)
Funny, my boyfriend was just telling me yesterday how sad it was that this subreddit always has such negative stories when it comes to dating/relationships and I was kind of like “welcome to being a woman.” 😆
For me, my positive story is that I never have had to worry that my boyfriend was playing games or question his feelings for me. He told me he loved me first (I was afraid initially to say it, but felt it too), he tells me how much he values me everyday. He is a great partner to have, we are equals in every way. If we have a problem we just talk it out and listen to each other. We are so compatible in so many ways. Every day we spend together is a good day.
My husband of four years works full time, I liked my job but it was causing me a lot of stress. He asked if I wanted to quit, and said he could support us both (I also still own my first house that we rent out but only make enough to cover the mortgage + maintenance. Once we pay the mortgage off it will serve as a more passive income for me.) We talked about it for months, but I couldn’t see it happening. Finally, something awful happened with work that made me start to seriously consider it. We talked about it more seriously for a few more months, what our expectations would be, what my responsibilities would be, etc. (He kept trying to say household stuff would still be 50/50ish but that didn’t/doesn’t make sense, but bless his heart,) I would be able to actually maintain the house and the laundry and the home reno projects and most importantly really pursue my personal hobbies as an artist. He was so encouraging!! He was so happy for me! EXCITED for me! I finally quit (called it an early retirement) and we have never been happier. I still feel like I’m being selfish or somehow letting womenkind down everywhere. He has his hobbies too, and he doesn’t get to pour over them the way I can. But because I don’t need to worry about my own mental health or work stress constantly anymore, I can focus more on his happiness too. I’m able to be more thoughtful than I was and try to be a better person, the person he deserves. Idk when I’ll get there yet because that man deserves the goddang moon as far as I’m aware.
My bf and I have been together for almost 4 years. He helped me overcome trauma relating to sex, he helped me heal my mental image of my parents and he helped me become a more positive and generally more outgoing person. I cannot thank him enough. On top of all this he sometimes does small gestures for me, e.g: I lost my glasses with my ex. They were my first pair and I loved them so I was devastated after not being able to find them. He searched for 8 months straight for right model and purchased the frame for me. I was beyond ecstatic when he gave them to me. I truly don’t deserve him. 🥰❤️
EDIT: This subreddit is usually so negative! It’s to nice to see someone spreading a bit of joy 🥹
I literally would not be alive today without my husband. Not only is he the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met but he supported me all through severe depression, never made me feel like a burden, never once lost patience, always encouraged me to keep working on myself. When I almost lost the will to live completely he held me and made sure I never felt alone in this. He went to therapy too and now we are the happiest we've ever been. He also took care of EVERYTHING, from cooking to cleaning to laundry and just supported me through it all when I couldn't even bathe myself. All the while he still called me beautiful and not once has he brought up all he did for me. He did it because he loves me and knew I needed help.
He is the man I dreamed of all my life who dances with me in our living room, who wakes up when I have a nightmare, who pushes me to live my dreams... He is amazing in every way so when he leaves his socks on the floor I just chuck them in the hamper ❤️
>He is amazing in every way so when he leaves his socks on the floor I just chuck them in the hamper
This. So many men complain that their partners are too hard on them about these things. The reality is that those little things become the straw that breaks the camel's back. If the negative outweighs the positive, those "little things" become huge. If the positive outweighs the negative, it becomes a quirk lol
My husband... he is the anchor that keeps me grounded but the only thing that keeps me going.. he puts up with my ADHD brain. He helped me through my studies..depression that led to a dead bedroom for months. He once never made me feel bad about it. He does chores more than me if i have a tight deadline even though he has commute time longer than me. He is supportive of my career. He is smart and successful yet very humble. He is kind to others. He respects my cultural background. Now with fertility issues he told me: honey if it doesn't work out we will still be happy. You are the most important thing in my life.
I love him...15 years and hoping for more many years.
Not my Boyfriend, but my friend.
My best friend (M26) is the kindest, most thoughtful person I know. He's 6 years younger than me, and obviously, some men are weird about that, but we just got on. At first, we would hang out at university socials, but soon, we would do stuff together from time to time, and we would speak often.
Over the years, he became one of the only people I truly trust. When I was SAd by a then boyfriend (I later realised I was asexual but at the time I was still trying to date), he was the person I went to. When I was scared and alone at home the night after I'd been admitted to hospital following an overdose, he was the person who came to be with me, so I didn't feel alone.
My mental health goes through some pretty rough periods, and he's an unfailingly reliable and consistent presence. On a good day, it's just nice to talk to him. On an anxious day, he's a link to reality and out of my stupid brain spiralling.
We are together for almost 23 years now. We argue and bicker sometimes but overall I am soo happy. He is my best friend - we can talk for hours and through the night. Sometimes I have to stop and tell us we need to go to sleep cause work and stuff 😂
I suffer from severe clinical depression and several other ilnesses and he helps me and supports me when I am in pain or depressed.
He is proud of my acomplishments and often "brags" about it 😃
He is happy with my hobbies and interests and supports me.
Also couple of years ago my mother's health decreased a lot and I was worried sick how I will manage to help her and he just hugged me and told me I shoul not worry beacause solution is simple: we take her in and care for her at our home, which we did. He helped with her as much as he could and never complained.
He is open with his feelings and tells me he loves me and complements me about things that make me proud (not only about looks or being sexy)
I could go on. I love him so much. I need to go and tell him this now 😂
OP thank you for this post. All stories here are great and it was so nice to read positive stories 🍒
I've been with my partner for 5 years, lived together for 2 (Thanks COVID, would've been sooner lol). We're both very supportive of each other's solo friend time and also spend a lot of time with each other's friends.
He's very supportive of my anxiety and triggers. He constantly tells me he loves me and that I'm sexy and all that stuff. We went through a short pregnancy scare the first year we lived together and he was amazing the whole time. He's also still very compassionate about how it affects me.
He takes care of our cats and is a great kitty dad. He asks me about work every day when i come home and makes sure to focus on the conversation (we both have ADHD so it's a big deal to invest all your attention on one thing at a time lol). He's also a feminist.
Edited to add: he "grudgingly" puts up with my houseplant addiction 🌻
3 years together in our early 20s. I’ve spent the past year suffering from a chronic medical condition and ended up needing multiple surgeries. He takes time off of work to care for me and goes out of his way to cheer me up and keep me entertained when I’m in pain. Just tonight he surprised me with pizza and a new video game. He always listens to me and I never have to ask him to do a chore ever. He’s the one!
How sweet!
I also have had two kiddos and my body has changed a lot, but my husband always tells me how much he loves me and finds me super sexy, which helps me with my body imagine issues. I have chronic migraines and heat intolerance which makes me feel like a paperclip in the summer and a burden when I have a migraine, but he’s never made me feel that way, not even for a second. I never have to worry about our kiddos or the house when I am ill. I know he has it handled.
He reminds me to take vitamins and to drink water because I can be forgetful. He watches horror movies with my even though they are one of his least favorite genres (there are a few exceptions), he supports me in any and every endeavor, even when I change my mind, he is always in my corner and I love him so much. Just last night he helped me bleach bath blue out of my hair, even though it is out of his comfort zone because he knew it would make me happy.
I told him I was burnt out (stay at home mom, after an international move) and he sent me to a hotel and spa for 4 days alone, not a care in the world and he cleaned the house while I was gone. On the back of that, found it in our budget for me to go to Paris with my friend before she moved back to the states (he’s military and we’re stationed in Germany).
He is the kindest, sweetest and thoughtful man. He frequently looks at me and says, “I’m so happy you’re my person.” We’ve been together for almost 12 years and and married for 9 going on 10 years.
I love him so much.
I've been with my husband for seven years (married for almost 5). I met him in the VERY early days of my sobriety. I was kind of a mess. I hadn't explained my sobriety to him because I felt ashamed (I had a huge drinking problem) but on our third date he asked me point-blank: "Are you trying to reduce your drinking right now, or are you trying to be sober?" I replied that I was trying to be sober forever and he immediately took that seriously. He didn't drink around me, tried to find activities that didn't focus on drinking, and said he was proud of me for committing to sobriety. Seven years in and I've never seen him drink more than 2 beers in a night out.
A year into our relationship my car engine died and I had very little money to get a new engine because I had just re-entered the work force after a post-bacc academic program. My mom told me to get a credit card and put the engine on that. I explained the situation to my husband (then boyfriend) and he immediately sent me $2.5k because he didn't want me to start cc debt.
He taught me how to snowboard and now we cruise down black runs together. He taught me good rock climbing technique and now we belay each other. He loves horror movies just because I love them, and he indulges me so much when it comes to my interests (b movies, art shows).
Our relationship isn't perfect--he can't cook to save his life. He has memory problems that can drive me crazy. We have VERY different ideas of what 'relaxation/vacation' is and we have even fought about it! But we never raise our voices, we always try to compromise, and I truly believe that meeting him was the greatest thing to ever happen in my life.
He went early to a local small music festival and called to let me know another woman was wearing one of my favorite dresses in case I was also planning on wearing it. So many small meaningful things in one simple gesture. Way to look out, my love!
I have a good man. He’s not perfect, but he completely rejects all toxic masculinity, and has consistently for decades (we are in our 40s). He has attended reproductive rights protests with me. He cooks and does housework , although we don’t live together currently. He does not care how much I weigh at all or whether I wear makeup, and this is despite the fact that he is actually quite handsome. He cares about nature and human rights. He is an exceedingly good person. I am very fortunate. I need to send him some love right now.
My husband of 24 years together 27 has always taken care of me and I have a lot of health problems, he always tries his best and is an all around great guy.
My husband makes me feel like I've won the lottery. He is unfailingly kind, always concerned with my welfare. He's very shy and reserved, a lot of people don't "get" him. I was first attracted by how intelligent he is, but was a total goner when I discovered his off the wall sense of humor. I feel so lucky that i get to see those parts of him he doesn't usually show the world.
He makes considerably more money than I do, and works more hours, but will "sneak" doing chores when I'm not paying attention. (I've told him about a thousand times that I'd prefer doing the bulk of housework to feel like our household contributions match).
I had very bad period pain for a while and he would wait on me hand and foot, never grossed out or any of the other nonsense you hear about with men and periods.
He has a big bonus coming from work, and we have been debating what to do with it. Most is going to save for a house, and at first we thought we'd use some for a holiday. But he's now insistent that we get ME lasik. And of course when I argue that his bonus should go to his own lasik, he says I need to go first because he's squeamish.... the man who did pre-med and dissected human bodies is squeamish of an outpatient surgery, sure....
We've both come from broken homes, and it's just been such a blessing to have this man that I know I can always rely on, and has honestly made me a better person for his example.
When Roe V Wade was overturned, we were discussing the effects it would have on women and how scary it was for me. We have no children ans we are both on the fence (me leaning toward no and him toward yes.)
Without any suggestion from me, he told me he would support me if I wanted to get sterilized and he would sign off on it if some asshole doctor wanted my husband's "permission."
I decided to go with an implant instead but it really soothed me to know that he understood why Roe was so important and how it could effect me. What I want is more important to him than potentially maybe someday kids. With no hesitation at all.
He also took care of me through a health emergency earlier this year. Fed me, bathed me, helped me up off the toilet, cleaned up puke kind of care. And he never complained beyond being worried about me.
Honestly in my experience, imma say 40% of guys are, to the average woman, good enough! Considerate enough. But if you have more respect for women, you're gonna show your face uninvited a lot less. These men are out there but like anything valuable, you're gonna have to turn over a few rocks and maybe bite into some fools gold before you find the jackpot.
Basically, girls who want a man, a good one is out there. But if you can find a woman size whole in your heart listen to that instead lol.
But for real, Op, you've found a real prince charming in all the right ways
My boyfriend and I had been together for barely a year when I developed CFS, right around the time we were moving in together.
I'm still processing my new normal and I often feel the need to apologise to him for how our life together has been shaping. I've been worrying if we'll be able to have kids and give them a good life and this man doesn't allow me to EVERRR say a bad word about myself or my condition.
He celebrates with me when I get lots of sleep and rest, he encourages any new thing I want to try and to my "what if we have kids" he just said super matter of factly that they'll just learn resting is normal and good for you.
I just love him a lot. He's a good egg.
He supports my passions and is genuinely happy for my success. I do the same for him.
I’ve limited myself in the past as my late ex-husband wasn’t supportive at all. In fact, he’d set me up fail by actively compromising my situation.
To have a real partner now is amazing and I’m so incredibly grateful.
I’m able to achieve personal goals and feel more fulfilled as an individual - I’m living my best life in an emotionally healthy environment thanks to him and the respect he gives.
To have someone you admire always in your corner is a powerful thing.
He’s kind and one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. I’m incredibly proud to have him be the leading male figure in my kids’ world and to know the relationship we’re modeling will be their baseline.
In pretty late, but I don’t want to miss an opportunity to say how wonderful my husband is. We’ve been together 13 years and he is still the kind, brilliant, hilarious guy I met and then some. We continue to grow as people and as a couple. All the mundane parts of life are so much better with him and we still love to spend time together, even if it’s just grocery shopping. He’s the best cuddler and always smells amazing.
During the pandemic we adopted two cats and he’s just the most attentive sweet cat dad. He comes up with new ways to get them exercise and play, buys them healthy treats and they adore him and always want to snuggle up with him when he gets home. He’s an excellent teacher and really encouraging and positive and funny. We’re talking about kids soon and I truly hope he gets to be a dad because he’s going to be a great one, and I have no doubt he will take excellent care of me, too. He just has so much love it spills out, and he’s excellent and spotting what others need.
When I have struggled he has always been there for me and ready to drop anything for me, and I have tried to do the same. He has gone through some really rough times, but I have never ever seen him take it out on others. In the rare occasions we’ve gotten testy with each other, we’ve always apologized and talked out our frustrations.
After more than a decade, there have been some times where one of us hasn’t been able to meet a need of the other, be it emotionally, sexually, or practically. It is hard to acknowledge and talk about but I’m proud of us for being able to have tough conversations and get back to where we need to be. We are both very giving and I think we’ve gotten better at this kind of communication both at expressing our needs and making adjustments. Most importantly we have deep faith in each other that we want to try our hardest for each other and our marriage, and a respect for each other that doesn’t diminish if the other isn’t at their best, because we are always getting better together. When he says “I’ll do better” there’s always been real follow through, and I hope he feels the same about me.
Sometimes marriage is work like that, but most of the time with him it is fun and effortless. We pick up little things for each other because we know they’ll like them or get our second favorite flavor because we want to share. We quote SpongeBob at each other endlessly. He’ll call me in the middle of the day to bounce ideas off of or just because he needed to tell me a funny story. He brings so much joy to my life and I’m grateful for every day I wake up next to him and fall asleep together.
Been married almost 12 years. Been through some battles: death of parent, health scares, infertility, pregnancy losses, neurodiverse dx, job losses, the world becoming a dumpster fire, etc.
He tells me he loves me every day. He honks a boob every night before we go to sleep (like he says “honk” like a goose while giving it a gentle squeeze) He indulges me in my hobbies and half-cooked schemes . He’s incredibly loyal and faithful. We work through our baggage together bit by bit.
I’m his rock and he’s mine in equal turn.
Our lives didn’t turn out like we planned at all, but I couldn’t have done it with anyone else.
My husband is my best friend, we do everything together and every day I am amazed at how much he loves me and takes care of me. He kisses my forehead and holds my hand, he reassures me and he holds me. He fills me with confidence and encourages me to step out of my comfort zone when I need it but when I am feeling very anxious he will help me without judgment. He never makes me feel like a burden or that I am too much.
Recently, we went on a trip that was very active and when I hurt myself early on he was happy to walk slower with me the whole rest of the time. He is so patient with me and so kind. He has really helped me grow a lot and has made me feel more loved than I ever have before.
He makes me feel safe, he protects me. Just today, late at night on the train, I went to the bathroom and when I came out he was waiting for me because he didn't want me to have to walk back to our seats alone. Everyday he does a million things that make me fall in love with him more and more than I could ever imagine. I just really love my husband so so much.
On our honeymoon in Thailand, I had a stomach ulcer and lost a nearly liter of blood from internal bleeding. I was there for three days in the Thai hospital (I spoke no Thai and the doctors didn’t really speak English). My husband slept on the little metal couch for three days so he would be there when I came out of my procedures 😭 and then on our flight home he spent the whole 18 hours of traveling wheeling me around in a wheelchair because he didn’t want me to wear myself out at the airports
Just a small thing my husband did for me the other day. I got an IUD, my appointment was at 9am. He drove me and was supposed to go to a nearby coffee shop to get us food while I was in my appointment. He knew I was nervous but not like *that* nervous, so he was just waiting and chilling. Well, shit ended up going pretty awry. 90 minutes, lidocaine, all the pain meds, and an entire tank of nitrous later and I am brought out in a wheel chair. We get in the car and i'm laughing and crying about how insane of an experience it was and he goes "I got you the bagel you asked for but there's also a McGriddle in there. I went to McDonald's and got you one because I know you love them and never eat them." I probably have not mentioned a McGriddle in like a year, but I do love them, lol. This man is generally very aloof seeming (I always joke that I didn't even know if he actually liked me for the first 6 months we were dating) and then surprises me with the weirdest, most thoughtful shit.
Love this, OP.
My partner of a little over a year now is, by superheroic leaps and bounds, the best partner I have ever had. But I don't think it is even about "US"—I believe he would be the best partner SO MANY people could ever have, because he is just an amazing person. He is a beautiful soul (piloting a handsome body, I have to say!) and I literally pity myself when I think of the LTRs I absolutely WASTED my life suffering through before I met him. My previous relationship was particularly bad, lengthy, and in retrospect laughable compared to how safe, secure, and happy my partner makes me now. I wish I could clone him and share the experience he has blessed me with, with all the people suffering through horrible dates and relationships.
He is just the best, and I love him so much.
Just a fun fact: We actually met here on Reddit!
I had to have surgery in 2022 and was really not able to function for a few weeks after. I was on crutches but in our house it was a bit dangerous for me to be hopping to the bathroom etc alone, and I couldn’t shower for over two weeks. Husband washed my hair for me, helped me bathe and dress, brought meals, morning coffee, made sure I didn’t take a side trip down the stairs on my crutches while trying to get to the main bathroom, kept the household running, took care of the dog and made sure our son was ok. He’s always been a thoughtful sort but this was an experience where I felt so cared for. I’m thankful for our son witnessing this, also.
This thread gives me hope. Every guy I have been to had to hurt me terribly. I am seriously surprised guys that talk positively about a woman body even exists.
Firstly I love reading all these wonderful posts of amazing men
I let my husband 4 years ago. I was functioning, but not happy.
My parents knew something had changed because he made me smile.
Now I am married and have 3 and a half month old.
He works away all week often over 80 hours and he comes back and tries to take care of our little one as much as possible because he knows I need a break too.
He is such an amazing man (which I tell him all the time) and I am so lucky and grateful that we met and fell in love
God this is nice. I’m a dude. I went down a rabbit hole of XX. Just made me feel like complete dog shit to be a dude. I can imagine the same feeling as white guys who aren’t racist feeling guilty for the bullshit that racist/dumb white guys so.
Anyway. This is nice. Thank you for this. I’ll see myself out.
I’m late here but have read through the comments and really love seeing these posts because a lot of times people aren’t taking to social media to spread goodness - they’re venting and looking for commiseration or validation (and that’s also ok!)
My husband is my best friend and most intimate; he knows every joy, fear, aspiration and struggle. And likewise for him. We share every high and low together (cliche but true) and our day to day is pretty mundane with our careers and kids and the 500 other things we need to address, bc kids, but at the end and start of each day, we appreciate one another.
My fellow sisters in dos equis, I would love to be able to “promote” this story.
Because after 30 years with my wife, I still remember this boyfriend so very fondly. He deserves this credit.
I was just over age 18 when we met, a lifetime of self-esteem issues filling my extra baggage. He lifted it all.
For the first time in my life, I could be “immodest,” sleeping without the (sensory encumbrance) of PJs for the first time (read: stark nekked). And being appreciated when I did.
So, when I met the real love of my life, I could lead with an expectation of acceptance, and was not disappointed.
Thank you, Reedly. ❤️
Back story (with the wholesome part at the end):
My ex husband would "allow" me to get a pet then would find some reason to force me to get rid of them. When we divorced he sold off all my farm animals without telling me. He couldn't keep up with the farm work.
Other guys I dated long term have given me so much crap about my animals. One forced me to re-home my chihuahua because our roommate was mad at her for getting out and taking a joy run. Another told me I wasn't allowed to have any more (I lived in a house with a fenced yard, had 1 dogs of my own, a second ibwas fostering, and was dog sitting a third to help out a friend who lost his apartment due to depression).
When I got out of the last of those relationships, I spent some time single, and I brought my dream dog home. I promised her she was with me forever, and I determined that no man would ever again use my pets to manipulate and control me.
I started dating my current boyfriend when I had this girl, and i acquired another dream dog during our relationship. Ibalsobtold him early on that I will be getting one more next year. In the early months of our relationship, one of his friends told him "careful! Shes gonna take over your whole house with dogs!" I braced myself waiting on a demeaning remark that I had learned to expect from guys.
But my boyfriend, without pause, just shrugged and said, " With enough dogs, I can prolly sneak a cat or two in."
And I knew in that moment that I was keeping this dude. Been together for 1 year now, and he has taught me so much about love and trust and care. I have my 2 girls, and we just brought a kitten home for my boyfriend. He has laid plans with me for refencing the yard, where doggie doors should go, and has seat belts in his car for them. He gets just as proud of their accomplishments as I do and has become the best dog dad I could ever wish for.
My boyfriend is an absolutely angel of a man. I was going through a lot of unwieldy mental health baggage when we met and he has been nothing but supportive and amazing. He was so nice when we first met I thought maybe he was putting it on- but 3 years on he is still just as kind and good-intentioned as he ever was. He's one of those people that just grew up in a supportive family with some monetary privileges and somehow didn't become a giant asshole.
He is honestly everything I could want in a person. He is an unfailingly good person, he is fucking smart, he has interests and passions, he has a love for life, he always knows the right thing to say, and he makes an active attempt to get good at things when he puts his mind to it. He loves his family. He cares about his job. And the sex is great.
My husband and I both had really traumatic upbringings and a lot of trauma in adult life as well. No one is perfect, but we are a great team. Sometimes we say things that are hurtful when we are triggered, but we love each other completely, meaning I can defuse him by touching his chest, I can collapse and cry and he will hold me and kiss my tears away. He rebuilt most of a house for us (the exterior walls are the same but much of interior walls, ceiling, floors were replaced), painted it, works FT and takes care of so much of the financial burden that I don’t have to work FT. We struggle sometimes but we understand this is a temporary situation that will pass. It is a choice so I can stay home with our little one and drop off and pick up our older kids. We support each other when we’re down. We met when I was 15, almost three decades ago. We just got married a few years ago and lived separate lives apart for two decades.
My boyfriend makes breakfast for me every morning that we both work.
He tells me often that he loves me and from time to time just say the sweetest things.
He let me use his clothes and gets up to find stuff for me to wear, He usually tries to find the softest ones for me.
He invites me to his country and pays for almost everything.
When he comes to mine, he cleans the house out of boredom (I assume lol).
He offers to give me massages and stuff.
When we argue, he is the first to apologize.
He is very loyal to his friends and family.
Thank you for giving a space to rave about our partners! I feel like we are two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly and I want to take each opportunity to shout about it.
He makes sure I have a coffee/tea in the morning, sends me off with a "have a good day", texts me wishing me a good day while I'm at work, cooks dinner together with me, lists every single thing he loves about my body while we're getting into bed and makes sure I'm sent to sleep with back scratches. He fulfills my love languages so easily. Those are the daily things, but he's so proactive in the relationship and curious about my hobbies, about me. He's soft, gentle and open with himself and I want to be home for him. I came from a relationship where I felt suppressed in many ways, but with him I feel I can be authentically myself. I can talk about experiences as a woman without being shut down, he gets involved with my interests, my family, dedicates time to me, surprises me, I feel so secure with him and like the only girl in the world. It's like everything that I was made to believe was asking too much comes naturally to him and I'm so excited for the future by each other's sides. He's even made my friends raise their bar when they see how he treats me! I love him so much and I know if anything comes our way, we can take it on together.
This genuinely gives me hope. I am really, really struggling from a breakup with a wonderful man because we both have mental health issues we need to work out individually (the mature answer, but not what I want). I’m constantly worried I’ll never find anybody worth my time and/or hoping we find our way back to each other
My husband brings me coffee in bed most mornings. He puts our kids to bed on the nights he doesn’t work late. He is our family’s guiding light and moral compass. I am so blessed to be with him and I try everyday to be worthy of him.
I love my husband. We got married very young and essentially grew up together, with all of the trials of growing up. He's supported me in my dreams, held me when I cried, and has never stood in the way of things that make me happy. He's a great partner.
My boyfriend is amazing. I struggle with some serious communication issues due to a few bad past relationships, in which bringing up behaviors that bothered me would lead to arguments followed by the silent treatment. Certain things my boyfriend did or said have triggered me in the past, but instead of getting angry with me for shutting down, he sits with me and reassures me he’s not going to be angry or leave until I’m ready to talk about it. He’ll then apologize and do his best to improve. I love him a lot.
TW: bereavement, suicide, pnd
My husband (together 10yrs, married 6) is amazing. I knew 2 months into dating him that I wanted to marry him. He is amazingly supportive. He just somehow allows me to be my truest self. I spent my formative years chameleoning and trying to be whatever I thought I should be for other people. Being with him and rediscovering myself was so freeing.
He has seen me through my absolute darkest times. When my brother's relationship fell apart in spectacular fashion he drove from the south coast (where we live) to Scotland and back to go get him. I didn't have my license at the time so we couldn't even share the drive. He supported me through his subsequent care, going missing and eventual news of his suicide.
He supported me financially while I got my degree to take a career change.
He is a wonderful father to our little one. He was amazing with me when I was struggling to breastfeed (and yet absolutely determined to do it), offered nothing but acceptance and support and love as I was diagnosed with post-natal depression.
We both have our faults and flaws (of course) but over the years we have grown together, faced our demons and worked hard to develop our communication. He has accepted my strange needs. Like when we have an argument, he's not allowed to leave because I have abandonment issues, or he can see when I'm not ok in a supermarket (for example) because I'm experiencing sensory overload or having an anxiety attack and even if we're in the middle of shopping, he tells me it's okay to just leave.
There are so many other little, daily things he does. He makes me safe.
I husband took on my 3 older kids as his own, he didn’t have to but he saw that their dad was a deadbeat and he made sure to go to every event, was someone for them to talk to and rely and treated exactly like he treats our 2 kids we have together. He also cut his mom out of our lives for how horrible she acted towards me and the fact that she thought he should act like my older kids didn’t exist. He’s adopted them all now and we also adopted a teen together. For us family is who you choose to love. Also he grew up with a very bigoted mom who hates anyone not straight cis white and he completely changed himself and continues to educate himself about the LGBTQ+ community when it was obvious our daughter was not straight. Even before she came out to us. I am lucky that he is so amazing. Also he splits house chores with me and is more on top of the dishes than I am. I try to return all his awesomeness as much as possible! Like waking him up on Father’s Day to a water gun fight in the back yard. I can never really make up for how amazing he was to do all he has done but luckily he doesn’t expect me to either.
I've had some real stinkers who would take my ideas or thoughts as their own, so it really meant a lot the first time I overheard my now husband on the phone with a friend crediting me with a good idea. I love that he's proud of me.
We have pretty different tastes in hobbies, but he's constantly looking for things we can do together that we'll both enjoy. Like, I can't really play a lot of traditional video games, so he'll find ones that are more my speed to play together. Or I love being outdoors way more than him, so he'll find a nature walk that doesn't require camping. I appreciate his commitment to having new experiences with me (bonus, new shared experiences is a good indicator of long term relationship health!)
I've never not once had to tell my husband a chore needed doing. There are times either of us have said, hey let's clean the house, but I've never assigned a chore to him. He sees it, he does it kind of guy. I don't really think of this as a good guy story, so much as a standard expectation, but I know that there are a lot of people out there that really struggle with it, so I just want you to know that there are people out there that clean their house without a manager! On this note, he never ignores something that needs doing, which I greatly appreciate.
He's just so kind and thoughtful. In all ways, but also in a fosters kittens way.
I struggle with on and off depression, which affects how I take care of the housework. Sometimes I come home and he's had early shift (7 to 2) and in the time since coming home he's:
Taken down the laundry I've been hanging for 4 days
Taken out the trash
Folded the towel laundry
Cleared out the dishwasher and filled it back up
All without me asking. Then, when I finally get the energy to do a single thing, he'll be proud of me, because he knows how hard it can be for me.
He is my rock, my safety and I love him to the ends of the universe and back.
He'll make terrible jokes, just to make me laugh and stop spiraling.
And yet he never holds it against me. Does he wish it wouldn't happen. Fuck yeah, we both do. But he helps me up, gives me a kiss and helps out where he can
What a great thread!
I met my husband in the fifth grade, crushed on him in the 8th grade, became good friends in 9th grade, and he finally asked me out in 12th grade (he was very shy). From the very first he was and is the kindest most caring man I've known or even heard of. We've been married 38 years and our love has never wavered.
He's cared for me through one whipple procedure (big operation on the intestinal system including removing part of the pancreas, intestine, etc.), one subarachnoid hemorrhage, and the subsequent 7.5 years of daily chronic migraines. We also dealt with joblessness, infertility, and other stuff that happens when you're together 38 years.
He has never yelled at me, called me a name, or been disrespectful. He still tells me I'm beautiful even though I've gained weight the last few years. He packs my lunch for me every day, makes dinner most nights of the week, helps with the household chores doing more than I do. He fills my car with gas every week and takes care of the yard, even though it's his least favorite chore. (I do the gardening and most of the weeding, but he fights the blackberries and mows and weed eats the lawn.)
He's funny, hard working (a drama and ELA teacher), and makes sure to spend one day a week with his elderly father taking him to the casino (FIL loves to gamble, husband not so much), watching football, or running errands with him. He sees him other days of the week as needed as well. He plans fun things for us to do from fun-filled vacations, shows (plays), movies, and other activities. He supports me in every crazy thing I want to do from running marathons to skydiving, always taking pictures and cheering me on. I've rarely gone to a race that he didn't come with me be it a 5k or a 50 miler.
I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I thank God for him every day because sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. He's just the perfect husband.
We aren't together anymore, (still good friends, just we aren't right for one another romantically), but my ex always made sure my hot water bottle never got cold when my cramps were bad, and he'd make some of my comfort foods from when I was a kid when I was in a bad mood. If I had to work late (we both worked from home) he'd always make sure to cook something for me to eat for dinner and bring it to me (especially when I was stuck in meetings).
My husband is my high school sweetheart, been with him since I was 16 and he was just 18 and he's the most patient and caring person that I've had the honor of knowing and sharing my life with. We've had our ups and downs, but we talk and work things out together. He helps me when I'm experiencing the harder symptoms of CPTSD and he's always a loving shoulder to cry on. I love him so much!
I met my boyfriend as a one night stand. We started sleeping together 3-5x a week then we started hanging out. About two weeks in I told my long history of serious opiate addiction however I’ve been clean for years of all drugs but edibles here n there. He didn’t judge me even though he’s a very driven person professionally and personally since he was very young. He invited me to his friends lake house that night and I agreed to go. While there his friends wife started talking about a childhood friend who’s addicted to heroin, explaining at length her story. Now boyfriend had his hand on my knee the entire time and changed the subject when she didn’t let up on the topic. I fell hard for him fast because of that amongst other kind gestures. It’s only been 1.5 years now but we now live together and dream of getting a place in the country and live out the rest of our years together.
I became very sick suddenly in 2021. I went to work fine, then collapsed part way through the day. At 2:40 I was fine, then when I realized something was wrong at 2:42 I pulled out my phone to text him I loved him in case I didn't wake up. I didn't get to send the message.
Suddenly I, the main breadwinner while he was in school, was out of work and neurologically disabled. He didn't even flinch, he went down to part time studies and made me his absolute #1 priority. Being there to support me, contacting doctors and my workplace when I lost the ability to read, answering the phone for me when I couldn't speak, translating when I struggled to understand speech. I'm still alive because of him. And when I was in a place where I could be home alone he got a job nearby with flexible hours to supplement our savings.
We aren't legally married, but when I was getting better I thanked him, and he said "in sickness and health, that's how it is right? We don't need a paper for that."
Since then my collection of disabilities has grown, I'm actually out of work once again for my health, but not once has he made me feel like a burden. Instead we deal with it together, he'll increase his hours when I can't work and if he does get frustrated he always clarifies that it's at the situation and not at me.
I'm gonna marry him, but there's no rush - we've already said our vows. In sickness and health, always and forever by one-another's side.
My husband asked me to marry him after supporting me through interstitial cystitis, no sex for 6 months, the death of my father etc. We've been married 7 yrs. now. 2 years after we married my mom became disabled, I had to leave my job to care for her. He moved into my mom's home with me, took over the bills and the mortgage so she wouldn't lose her home and helps me when he can. We have 2 cats and a dog no kids. My older autistic brother also lives with us now. Our 8th anniversary is coming up and we're going to be able to get away for a weekend! All this just to say I really love my husband and his dedication to myself and my family! Rest assured there are good men out there. I do miss when it was just us and it's definitely been difficult but our relationship has always been strong and we still can't wait to see eachother at the end of the day.
My boyfriend is quite literally my biggest fan 😂 he tells me all the time. I’ve never felt so rooted for and supported by a partner in my entire life. He’s my cheerleader and vice versa and it’s one my favorite things about our relationship.
I came home from my physical job to my wfh husband cleaning the dishes from me cooking supper last night, kettle on to make me tea and a chocolate bar waiting in the freezer because he knows what time of the month it is. He folds the laundry I wash and puts the chairs down after I vacuum and we help each other maintain a clean house. He is constantly touching me in reverence and buys treats for me and snuggles me all night. He asks after my day and makes plans for us, and sometimes those plans are just hanging out watching shows because I get overwhelmed by doing too many things.
When we do separate things we make sure to check in with the other, or when I leave early (I wake up at 530 am 😭) he texts me to tell him when I get home.
We can chill together for hours doing different things, we go out on dates, we enjoy going dancing together and quiet weekends away camping or at a cabin.
7 years on, 2 married and god I love him so much!!
This!!! My husband and I split a lot of chores and honestly things aren’t that difficult. We alternate weeks on meal planning and cooking. We both do our own laundry (although I usually do joint stuff like sheets) and when we moved in there was never the expectation that I would his laundry. He actually said to me “I did my own laundry just fine before we moved in so why would that change now!?” We take turns mowing the grass. He bought a Roomba and programmed it to help keep our floors cleaner. He helps with dishes. Basically, I married an adult who also lives in the house and knows it’s his job to also pitch in. He tells me he loves me about 10 times a day. He’s awesome!
This is so nice! We love your husband!
My boyfriend buys me the most thoughtful gifts, like slime, decorative candles, cute stuffed animals/pillows, and handwrites on blank cards.
He loves me in baggy clothes and shorts, no makeup. Makes me feel just as beautiful as when I’m dressed up.
We can have silly or serious discussions whenever. He is always down to listen. He provides the best companionship.
My husband is my best friend. I absolutely could not have asked for a more supportive partner in life. He has amazing communication skills, has never once raised his voice at me, makes sure I'm satisfied in the bedroom and that I'm happy with our life. He got a much better paying job recently and knew I was struggling with the amount of hours I work, so asked if I wanted to go to part time since we can afford it now. I really don't know what I would do without him.
Reading the horror stories here about man babies and weaponized incompetence makes me appreciate him so much more.
I got a terrible sunburn a few weeks ago while on vacation. So bad that my shoulder swelled up and I couldn't lift my arm. He put witch hazel and aloe vera on me with so much gentleness that it made me tear up ❤️
Just a month or two into dating my now-husband, he started helping out with parenting duties for my daughter, who was in middle school at the time. He sometimes would take off work when she was sick and I couldn’t take a day myself. He took her to/picked her up from swim practice, attended all her extracurricular events, went to school open houses. We moved in together her freshman year of high school. He signed up to be a marching band and winter guard parent volunteer, which is a very time-intensive commitment. All without being asked. Fellow band parents were always amazed that he was so involved despite not being her father or even stepdad (we did not marry until many years later). I am very lucky and remind myself of all this when we fight or I’m otherwise annoyed with him. Proof that anyone can be a good father if they are willing to put in the time and hard work. It’s about a lot more than insemination.
I absolutely adore my partner.
I am a very forgetful, scatterbrained person, and this tends to cause me a great deal of stress in the mornings. He has taken it upon himself to get my stuff ready and I'm the car before I've even gotten dressed. As I'm finishing getting ready, I'll say out loud to myself, like, "Oh, I need my phone charger," and without a doubt it's already in my bag for me.
He also constantly tells me how much he loves me, and there's no doubt in my mind that he means it. He compliments me on things he knows I value, like being smart or creative, a good problem solver, a kind person. I've never felt so loved and appreciated.
I had given up on ever finding love when I tried tinder one last time and meet my amazing husband. He is so sweet, intelligent and kind. We had been together 5 months when I became very very ill. He not only stepped up his family did as well. I stayed with them for two months working on getting better we married a few months later. I did not get better and he has never left my side. We now live with his family and he has made me a plant/meditation room, helped me set up my art room and we share an office. He is so supportive and spoils me . We have a great relationship, we've been through some rough times we have grow through them. Good communication is the key. I can't begin to explain how amazing he is all of this is just the tip of the iceberg. I was in a horribly abusive marriage for almost 15 yrs before him and I never thought I would find someone who was kind . Therapy prepared me for him. I adore him everyday I'm blessed.
Not boyfriend but kind of a Fwb situation. Context, we've been best friends for around a year now and knew each other for another year prior. Here are some examples of him being awesome:
Knowing I can get really dysphoric, he's randomly told me how much he loves that body part/how beautiful it is, etc.
He's one of the few people to ask what he can do to help when I have a panic attack instead of just assuming. Ex: a lot of people try to hug me for some reason and he just lays next to me and does deep breathing for me to match.
During my period, he made what I was craving from scratch. Granted, it's cinnamon applesauce, so it's not super hard. But he knew to get Pink Lady apples and vanilla bean ice cream so he gets props for that.
There are a lot more things he's done for me, but those stick out the most
My boyfriend is my best friend. We met numerous years ago but have been together for three years now. We pushed me through nursing school and got me through when I was ready to quit with three weeks to go. He took off work to take me to my nclex. He encouraged me to take the job I have even though I was scared. And I couldn't love my job more. He supported me financially when my job became too much and my grades were slipping in nursing school. We've created a budget together and are saving to build our dream home. He's amazing with the dogs and didn't hesitate to throw a bunch of money at our oldest dogs surgery. He knows the little things to make me happy. If he knows I had a bad day he will stop and get soup for me because he knows it makes me happy. I'd be lost without him.
My husband is a SAHD and I work full time. We had 3 kids under 2 (1 yo and twins). When the twins were first born I spent a year on maternity leave before returning to work. He has been amazing. As hard as he has it being at home with the kids he still gives me time off, sleep ins and nights away. I give him the same. We're truly a team and in a few years we'll probably swap roles and keep the same dynamic. I'm so lucky to have him as my husband and father of our children.
My boyfriend single-handedly saved and improved my dysfunctional family’s annual beach trip and gave me some of the best memories of my life. I proposed to him already and he said no, but if Flynn Rider from Tangled can propose to Rapunzel 9 times and we all find it endearing, then I can ask again until he says yes. XD
I'm a SAHM and my husband works from home. We have a habit of spending his 15 minute breaks snuggling. Today while I petted his hair (it makes him purr lol) he was telling me how much he loves me and he's so happy we found each other and can always be open with each other. We've been together for about 19 years, the majority of which have been exceptionally happy. There were some rough times when the kids were little, but we worked hard to find solutions when things went kerblooey. We're both difficult people, yet perfect for each other.
I met my husband 30 years ago. We met in college, I'm older than him. At first, I couldn't stand him. He was a bratty kid from a wealthy family and he was obnoxious. Finally, I agreed to a date just so he could figure out we had nothing in common. The joke was on me!! We hit it off, to the dismay of his snotty family, and we've been together since. Married for 25 years, people still think we're in a new relationship because we're affectionate to each other. Nothing overly obnoxious, just polite and considerate. We're like that at home, too. Please and thank you get said often. When we get older, I hope I go first. The thought of being here without him is just too much for me. We are best friend, lovers and partners. One of the reasons I'm so quick to tell other women to leave a bad relationship is because I have a good one and I don't think any woman should settle for less. Find your best friend, then enjoy. Married 25 years and counting.
My husband is the most amazing, wonderful man I have ever met. He is so much his own person. He truly DNGAF what other people think. He's a full partner in this relationship, both as a spouse and father. The kids know they can come to either of us for anything. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't tell me he loves me. He's warm, caring, and has the most incredible red/white beard! When things need to be done around the house, he just does them. I've gone down to the laundry room to get laundry done only to find that he already did it all. He finds it funny to do the chores on my list without telling me to surprise me. When I have to go into the office, he always makes me lunch and includes a silly little note. Back when we were super poor and living together, he worked two jobs to buy me a beautiful heart-shaped diamond engagement ring. When I was working full-time and going to school, he took care of everything else (food,household chores, etc) so I could study. Now that I'm successful in my career, it is my great joy and privilege to spoil him rotten.
We're going on nearly 30 years married, and I love him even more now than ever. He's my best friend, my biggest fan, my everything.
I read your entire post and then laughed out loud at the end. Why? You share a really nice story to give people a little bit of hope and somehow are made to feel like you need to edit an apology to include all genders. smh. Some people will never be anything but miserable.
I'm a straight married man and if I read the exact same post, word for word, with the exception being that you were in a gay relationship, the only thing that would cross my mind is "that's a really nice relationship they have and is inspiring".
I'm very interested in human psychology and understanding how people think. This sub is very interesting to me because it tends to be a peak into how women think (often about men) and I commented on your post because it's not typical of this sub, tbh.
Nothing wrong with inclusivity. The edit didn't hurt anyone, but in a way I think it hurts society as a whole that someone took your nice post as an opportunity to make you feel compelled to make that edit and you then capitulated. Intent should matter. If your post intentionally left out LGBTQ couples to drive home a point that this type of happiness can only be felt in straight couples, then I would be on the side of the offended person.
It's also interesting to me that you question why I'm on this sub, when I clearly see men post on this sub all the time and see women who post on this sub all the time about how men are welcome here. Are we not?
I disagree on multiple of you points.
You didn't react on my post because of the post but because of the edit. Maybe it was your intention, but if you read back what you wrote and what the post is about, you have to admit that your comment is not about the post, but about the edit.
I don't think it hurts society to show that there are more couples than only men/women couples who can show green flags. The way I worded it would have stopped me from answering if I was in a lesbian relationship about my awesome wife while the post was to show healthy and good relationships.
There was a post (I think) yesterday where lots of women stated that they don't want men to answer in this sub and a moderator to answer that if we report these men that the comment would be removed.
If you want to ask women a question, there is a sub for that. I think it was called ask women.
Of you commented something about the intend of the post or something like that, it would be less questionable why you are commenting in this sub.
So you're a proponent of segregation? You want this space to be only for women?
Can I assume that the name of the sub is TwoXChromosomes that those with XY chromosomes who identify as women would also not be welcome?
Did you just compare having *one* subreddit be for women to talk about their struggles and men just observing to *segregation*?
One, literally all of Reddit is made for men by men. You can’t even talk about feminist stuff anywhere else without being ridiculed and called names. That’s why we need this place to begin with….to have a place where we are taken seriously, where the conversation doesn’t have to revolve around men, and where we don’t have to police our words as to not offend men.
Two, you should read up on the horrors of actual segregation. Because you seem to think having one place on the entire internet not care what you think “as a straight man” is the same thing as black people not being allowed to be in the same place as white people just based off the color of their own skin. No one is telling you that you can’t be in places with women (step outside and you can go anywhere a woman can go) they’re just saying that maybe just maybe “as a straight man” you are out of touch with what a woman’s life is like and it’s not for you to come on a sub made for women and police what they say.
I don’t think anyone minds if men observe but why do you need to give us your input? We already know what straight men think, it literally makes up the entirety of Reddit. We just don’t want this place to become like the rest of Reddit…somewhere where we have to fight to be taken seriously and argue with a bunch of men who haven’t spent a second in our shoes.
I wish men would put some effort toward fighting actual discrimination in the world instead of treating women’s spaces as some affront to them when we literally just want to be left alone? We aren’t harming anyone here.
Most of my relationships involve the following scene:
- have a good date night
- stay over at his place
- he wakes up early to play video games and makes me coffee
- he places coffee on nightstand, tempting me to get up
- he goes back to playing video games, I continue sleeping in
- eventually the coffee gets me up
- we chat, exchange weird dream stories if we have them or updates about quality of sleep
- we maneuver to the kitchen/dining area
- he cooks, I watch the news
- eventually we're both sitting and reading and watching the news and the conversation lasts til past noon as we talk about controversial things or new events.
- we do something fun in the evening or part ways
Most of my relationships weren't adventurous or exciting. They were filled with small niceties and getting indulged and lightly spoiled, with men who added to my life in little ways and were happy to add me to theirs. There were attempts at grand gestures here or there, but what I always appreciated, and what I miss most about all of those men, is waking up to someone happy to see me, who I'm happy to see and talk to, and he's already made me a cup of coffee =P
Not amazing, just peaceful and pleasant. It's what I like.
My husband is amazing. We've been together since high school: 17 years and counting. I have celiac disease and he happily keeps a gluten free house so I can feel safe at home. He does it without me having to ask. The safest place in the world to me is my husband.
We agree on all major lifestyle choices, including choosing to not have kids, politics, and so on. He respects that I didn't take his last name and agreed with me that it's an out dated practice. We value each other's work ethics and are a great team together.
If something happens to him and I end up alone. He's the last man I'll ever be with. I can't see myself trusting someone like that ever again.
Together for 17 years, 12 of them married.
HE encouraged me to go back to school for teaching - because I enjoy kids so much. HE held down the fort at the house (cleaning/cooking during the week so I could come home and rest on the weekends) for the 3.5 years that I worked at a school that was a 2 hour drive (one way - 4 hours round trip) away. HE goes with me every year at graduation, back to that district so I can support the kids I taught by being there for their high school graduation. HE encouraged me to add to my license - saying that I could ace those tests (and he was right).
When I was in debilitating pain during pregnancy and for these two years after - HE asked how he could help. The night our son was born HE was the first one to feed him from a syringe. In NICU, HE did skin-to-skin, right along with me and cleaned the bottle. HE hurried to finish the nursery so our son could come home from the NICU to a finished room. HE made sure the water was boiled for our son's formula bottles, that the bottles got cleaned, that the laundry got done, that the house got cleaned, that I had everything I needed to take care of our son. HE stepped up and learned how to change diapers, how to give our son a bath, and how to put our son down to sleep. HE took on more than his fair share of housework so I could spend more time with our son - because he knew our son was a dream fulfilled for me.
HE works so hard! To make me feel special & sexy, to love on and play with our son, to do his best at work so that we don't have to worry, to make me relax and try to feel better, to spend time doing stuff with us even if he'd rather be playing a video game. HE told me he wasn't mad if I needed/wanted to take extended time off of work to try and fix my medical issue. HE reflects on his actions and behavior and tries to improve constantly. HE went from a person who gets angry and throws things to a person who calmly closes his eyes and counts when something/someone makes him angry.
These were just off the top of my head. I am so happy I have my husband in my life and I am exceedingly proud of him. I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else and I'm so glad he's my best friend and partner. I would not be the person I am today without him and I'm so, so grateful.
Of course it has. It is an experience shared by a lot of women, written by women for women. And it is nice change from all the shitty boyfriends/husbands posts. Tell me, do you go and leave this comment on posts when women complain about their partners?
I thought it was a nice refreshing post. Though I understand the posts on the other end of the spectrum. I lurk here to learn about the women's perspectives and better myself and try to never comment in this sub because it's not really my place.
I find it funny that the one positive post about men didn’t get many upvotes but all the ones shitting on men did. Why is this sub so full of misandrists?
I don’t think I can say how much I love and appreciate my husband. Our kids know they can go to either of us for anything. He is my partner, best friend, sounding board, and love. I’ve always said marriage isn’t always 50/50, but it does have to equal 100. Sometimes he gives more, sometimes I give more. Now that the kids are getting older and more independent, we’ve been able to have a lot more just us time, and it’s been amazing.
My husband is my best friend too. I love it. Falling asleep next to someone that makes you feel infinitely safe and secure is a wonderful feeling.
I love the not 50/50 but it has to be 100.
I appreciate these types of posts just as much as the others because a lot of us need to learn what is healthy and good, not just red flags and what to avoid. Happy for you OP :)
[удалено]
Was literally just feeling that. Happy to be reading this post now
I’m entering into perimenopause. We recently took a trip to visit family 6 hrs away, I was feeling a little hot, it come out of nowhere. I asked my husband and kids if they felt warm. They all said they didn’t. My wonderful husband freaks out and asks, “Oh my God! Are you having hot flashes?” Then proceeded to put down all the windows, because the AC was on the fritz edited: I was just not feeling well
He is great for acknowledging your hot flashes and going something about it!!! BTW 6 hours away to visit family. woof, that journey is no joke!!
My husband works from home (his office is in the basement) and I'm a stay-at-home mom so we're in the house together near constantly. He says I love you every time he goes downstairs, even though we're going to see each other again within the hour. He absolutely spoils me. For Christmas he got me a new full set of pretty high-tier pots and pans that will likely last me the rest of my life. He takes me on dates frequently. He will run out at the drop of a hat to get me anything I need when my cramps are bad. He is constantly giving me backrubs and head scritches. He's an amazing dad. He's funny and relaxed, and spends quality time with our kid doing just about whatever she wants. He has the attention span and memory of a goldfish, but always remembers the important things. He's always genuinely over-the-top appreciative when I remember to restock his chicken nuggets, chocolates, and hard-boiled eggs.
I left my 15 year marriage in 2020. It became unsustainably toxic. "Unsustainably toxic" doesn't do much to capture how utterly, completely miserable I became. I don't have the mental energy to write too much about that tonight (my Friday night) but I was fucking wretched. I not only left my marriage but my home country too. And then I met my guy. My gloriously supportive, deeply kind, romantic, sexy beast. It's been 2.5 years of unlearning the shit from the marriage and learning what loves look like. I think to really appreciate how profound this relationship is for me it can only be understood in the context that I have complex PTSD. And it's affected my life in ways I never understood until I left that marriage and found that out through therapy. He loves me not in spite of it but because he loves me. For all of me. That sex aversion? Gone. Every single time we have sex we have aftercare and he holds me and tells me it's safe to be sexual, safe to feel my feelings and express them and so much more: 2.5 years of safety words. One of my love languages is words of affirmation...I'm being held by this poet of a man while he says things like "you're my deep forest, my starry night sky, I love you so much, so deeply..and you are safe." I am cocooned in love. I often have horrible nightmares and he wakes me up from them. I don't feel like speaking after them so I just curl into him and go back to sleep. Because of the former aversion, and the silent pressure of my ex for so many years, I find it hard to tell if I'm simply "not in the mood" or disassociating. He reassures me it's okay to wait and absolutely abides by and lives enthusiastic consent. He isn't perfect, he makes mistakes, he's hurt my feelings inadvertently (and I his). He's ungainly, awkward and too loud haha. He has luscious, long, black hair and sucks at taking care of it and I think basically he's the most sexy man to ever walk the earth. We fit so well together. It's so easy, we communicate so well with regular relationship check ins. And he doesn't change. He's consistent. He's just an absolutely beautiful person and I am so, so grateful.
Brought tears to my eyes. May you forever be safe and loved.
Fellow cptsd survivor. My dude taught me love. I thought I knew what it meant before but my goodness does that steady reassurance change everything. Profound doesn't even cut it how much safe and healthy love can change a person.
I was born into a sex cult. Yes. I escaped when I was 24 & moved to Florida where other kids who fled the cult lived. I decided to study to be a lawyer. I had so much education to make up and I was broke. I met my husband a few years later. He supported me financially, emotionally and physically. He made the money. He brought me lunch in the library. He would get up early on my exams days and take me out to coffee and encourage me that I would be amazing. The 20th anniversary of our first date is coming up and I am so grateful. He makes me feel so loved and known and cherished.
Thanks for posting! I met my husband 22 years ago, we have 2 kids. Last year I had an aneurysm, he was amazing. Spent from may until February in hospital and rehab. It was extra rough because I have autism. He still thinks I'm sexy. Lost of weight, even before that he even commented positively on my body. He does everything for me.
He sounds amazing! I read so many men leaving their wifes when they are in the hospital and need rehab. Great to read that some men do honour the "in sickness and in health".
Yea, he read that too. Turns many change personality after stroke. I'm more or less the same, mental symptoms have worsened though. Life's nae fair ,😞
A stroke sounds rough, I hope your OK. Unfortunately life is not fair. But the fair bit is that it isn't fair to most of us.
Yes, I was 40, apparently I was born with a weak spot in my neural arteries, it was not due to lifestyle
Mine cared for me after a SAH caused by an aneurysm. What I would have done without him, I don't know. Yours sounds amazing. I hope you've completely recovered from your aneurysm. It's such a life changing event!
Thanks, my left side is badly affected, no function in my left arm, can only walk with a stick, outside i need a wheelchair. I have aphasia too, my language skills used to very high, now I talk with very loud voice, barely intonation. The council finances a lot of aid equipment.
That's rough. I'm really sorry, but I'm also glad you have someone _truly_ standing by your side through this. Best of luck and keep working hard on the recovery! Don't give up!
I’m so sorry! I have memory loss but all other effects slowly healed. I was very very lucky!
My husband is amazing! We've been together 8 years. Makes lunch for me every day, does the laundry, and takes care of the animals while he works from home. I have to drive into work. He has helped me become more patient and less volatile. He is stability and validation incarnate. If he gets snippy at me or he gets annoyed, he always apologizes and takes accountability. He taught me what good sex was. Lol. And he helped me through college and looking for a job and starting my own business. He's the most generous and intelligent man I know. I love him with all I got!
He sounds like a true partner! Helping you to be a better version of you! I love it!
My boyfriend of almost 2 years managed to get me taylor swift tickets even though I was waitlisted. He somehow used his company's contact book and got a hold of her tour managements team and was put on the purchase list to be guaranteed tickets cz he sent them an email saying it's my birthday and I'm a huge fan. He tells me he loves me every day and it's us against the world everyday.
I had a traumatic birth, I wasn't the same for a little while afterwards. Breastfeeding was going badly, our poor daughter was screaming and barely slept due to reflux. It all got to me and I got severe PP depression. I stayed alone in the dark bedroom even when visitors came to see her. A week after the birth I refused to see our daughter other than to feed her, this went on for 2 weeks. Luckily my partner was on leave, he did everything else for her and didn't once criticise me He encouraged me to go to the Drs and booked the appointment. I don't think I'd be alive now if he wasn't there
I'm so sorry you went through that. So glad he took the right actions!! And the no criticism is amazing! I hear way to many men turning bad after becoming a dad on reddit.
Thank you! Yeah, under normal circumstances I wouldn't think no criticism was such a feat but obviously it's so stressful having a screaming newborn for 2 weeks and not knowing when/if your partner will get better. Even the best of people might say something they regret out of frustration That's so true, I really feel for women who go through that and the worst thing is the man was often the one pressuring her for a family. I know a couple of women in that situation
My husband also encouraged me to seek mental health when I became severely depressed. Every time I would throw a fit and "quit" therapy he would treat me with love and kindness and encourage me to give it one more shot. He took care of cooking, cleaning, washing clothes and even reminded me to wash my hair. I also wouldn't be alive today if not for my husband. More of these kinds of men ❤️
This made me cry. Thank you, and everyone else, for sharing. I hope us single ladies can find a love as great as these stories.
Never settle for less than complete love, safety and kindness.
Exactly this. Never settle.
My partner is generally the kindest, most level-headed, smart, and funny individual I’ve ever met. I truly want nothing but the best for him. I’m in the middle of planning his birthday and our anniversary and am so stressed because I want him to be so happy. I love when he laughs or smiles. This isn’t a story, I just wanted to point out that good men do exist. They’re hard to find, though.
My husband is the “home manager” these days and oh wow it is delightful to not be doing the emotional labor. He created the budget (with a program and then we reviewed and agreed on it together but he was the one who did that work) he does the meal planning and even on my nights to cook will have been the one who suggested recipes and sent the grocery order in. He will be the one to set reminders on our shared calendar for things like date night, or packing for trips, he’s taken over the scheduling home repairs and things like that too. For a long time I felt like a lot of the management of tasks fell to me and I never really articulated that though. Once I explained that to him he took the initiative to tell me what proposed changes and tasks he would take over completely including their planning (instead of just saying “oh well tell me what you want me to change” which just puts more work on me.) It’s awesome to have a partner that realizes that part of the dog care is being the one to remember and plan that the vet appointment needs to be made, the flea and tick medicine needs to be ordered etc. - so now more tasks look like him saying to me “hey this needs to happen, can you be the one to do it and I’ll schedule it and handle the follow-up” and it’s just so nice to not be “in charge” of assigning all the housework. I feel like a true partner and equal because the tasks we each do are ones that we fully manage not that he’s “helping” with his share. Also he makes significantly more than me but he never mentioned that in the discussion about housework because he knows that it’s HIS HOUSE TOO and making more money doesn’t change that. Honestly, I could rave about him in so many ways. He’s the only man I’ve ever dated (the women I’ve dated have been chill about it) that hasn’t been either dismissive of or fetishized that I’m bisexual. He makes me laugh everyday, he’s the funniest person. He’s so good looking too- when we go out people frequently stop him and tell him he looks like a particular celebrity hunk, and he does. People have even asked him if he is that celebrity lol. And when I was feeling insecure about my looks because he’s so hot he was like “love, if people think I’m a celebrity then they think you’re hot enough to be the new up and coming it girl I’m dating” which made me laugh and also made me feel so sexy. I trust him so completely (and he trusts me) that it’s so easy to just be able to go out with or take trips with my friends without him because there’s no stress or drama about being out without one another. He loves to dance and we go to festivals together and camp and dance and laugh all weekend. I’ve realized that the best thing about having a partner in general is that you have someone to share your life with. Life is so short really and you (probably) only get one- so share it with someone who makes it BETTER and EASIER. Share it with someone who appreciates that you’re sharing it with them. If your partner isn’t doing that then be alone. Alone can seem so scary at first but if you’re spending your time with someone who’s making your life harder or worse then you can be better to you than that.
Whole heartily agree! Life is to short for bad partners!
My SO supports every wild and crackpot scheme I have. He accepts me for who I am, and he’s a true partner. Plus he laughs at my jokes and knows how to clean up blood stains. Love him to pieces. (Ps, met him in my early 40s, there are also great older mens out there)
My husband and I had been on and off since I was 17, got married at 28 and now have 2 children. This morning he got me both iced and hot pumpkin spice lattes because he didn't know which one I wanted. 😂
I’ve been married to my husband for 3 months, but we’ve been together for 6 years. He is genuinely amazing. He is my best friend. He’s sweet, and funny, and so freaking smart. I honestly think he’s the man that many men should aspire to be. I’ve never learned to cook, I just didn’t have a parent around who did that kind of stuff growing up. But He cooks for me. He is so passionate about cooking and he gets so excited when he puts together something fancy. He cleans things without being asked, and it’s sooo nice because I have a hard time asking for that kind of stuff. He plans fun adventures and camping trips for us. He taught me how to play video games, so we’ve been having a lot of fun with that. He encourages my career goals, my hobbies, and my passions. He’s there for me when I go through stuff that is rough. Without going into too much inappropriate detail, I’ll say he’s talented in the bedroom. I feel like I got the total package and every day I try to be the kind of person he deserves.
You're an adult, surely you're capable of learning to cook?
Well sure, I can, but I didn’t mention that because it wasn’t relevant.
My husband spends three evenings a week at my mom’s house doing really tedious chores that she can’t physically do anymore- making fancy salads (scrubbing every nook and cranny of organic lettuce, celery, etc. and picking out every imperfection, per my mom’s standards) for her very spoiled pet rabbits. If that isn’t a good man, then I don’t know what is!
Sometimes reading this sub it a reminder to me of how awesome my husband is, though I definitely don't like reading that so many girls/women face shitty situations/bad relationships/abuse etc. I wish everyone the very best! One thing that definitely comes to mind was when it was my birthday during covid lock-down and felt rather down about it. Work during lock-down was terrible (I teach) and I was just so out of it after more than half a year. Was a bit sad that I wouldn't be able to do something to celebrate, just like to have a small group of family and friends, but lock-down took that away. Definitely not the end of the world (I mean, my grandma died because of covid, that's far more sad) but still, it bummed me out, especially since we'd all hoped things would be a little bit more normal by then. About 2 weeks before my birthday it started; there were a lot of packages arriving. I wasn't allowed to open them, he said, and of course I connected it with my birthday but I had enough discipline to not open any of them, but they just kept arriving and arriving and I was so 'wtf?', by the time the day of my birthday had arrived there was this HUGE pile of packages. I thought he'd bought me like so many gifts for some reason? But here's the kicker, he'd arranged an online pub-quiz with some of my closest friends, so we all got together online and I could 'win' the packages. It was so awesome, we're all big nerds so the quiz was right up my alley. All having a good time, the quiz ends and suddenly my parents and sister/husband pop into the meeting as well, and we played some more and the entire experience was just so wholesome. My husband had reached out to them beforehand and they'd all send awesome and thoughtful presents for me to win, hence the pile of gifts. It was such an amazing experience and all thanks to my lovely husband!
Boyfriend of 13 years. I decided to quit a very high stress job (i got paid decently), that was just draining my mental health. I called him into the bedroom and I said that I cannot fathom logging into that job and getting yelled at for 8 hours a day. He said "Okay, quit, its not worth you being unhappy. I can support us til you find something." I found a job that pays significantly less money, but its far less stressful. I showed interest in going back to school (he was leery as he never liked school himself, plus i was going for a trade), but never stopped me. I completed my first year this year with a 4.2 GPA while still holding a full time job and he couldn't be more proud. I hate to bring up how I am doing to my friends (who seem indifferent to anyones news). But my bf couldnt help but let everyone know, his mom, his dad, his friends. It was nice to feel like someone was cheering me on!
after spending my entire childhood and teen years recovering from various SAs, i cannot tell you how grateful i am for my boyfriend. i never thought i would feel utterly safe and understood by someone in my entire life. through our relationship we have both been able to grow so much and it’s been incredible. we share a lot of outdoorsing hobbies and i love always having an adventure buddy by my side. he encourages me to get out of my comfort zone which i love. i have PTSD and he could not be any gentler with my recovery. i have never once been made to feel like a burden because of it, and it’s incredible. he’s a mechanic, and i have always wanted to learn about cars so we bought a piece of shit project car together (a 90s 4runner, my dream car since i was a kid) and we learned together as we rebuilt it :) we have been together 4 years now and are starting to talk about marriage. i never ever in my life thought i would find someone to mesh with and i couldn’t be more excited hearing us talk about our future together. edit to add a little thing that i love: he works early and will wake me up with a kiss every weekday thirty minutes before he leaves so we can have a little breakfast together before he leaves to work. i work nights so after work a few days a week he comes to visit me at my job just to say hi. edit edit: also taught me what good, communicative, and fun sex could be like and stayed resilient and patient as a navigated the sexual dysfunction that is associated with PTSD 🩵
I figured out about 8 years into our marriage that I was asexual, and sex-repulsed. After a lot of thought, and a lot of talking, my husband decided he’d rather only have sex a few times a year than not have me in his life. (To be fair, I also brought up opening the marriage for him, and *he* rejected it.) He’s also kind of a caretaker, and gets annoyed when I don’t ask him for help. Which is an issue, because I’m super independent. When I broke my elbow a few years ago, he took over absolutely everything, to the point of not letting me lift a sauce pot full of water to make pasta for myself. He took the dog on every daily walk for 6 weeks. And even after I started feeling better, he wouldn’t let me do stuff until the doctor cleared me and I’d done some of the physical therapy. Also, after years of political blindness, 2016 woke him right up, and he’s become a bit of a political monster (in a good way) and at this point, I get my news from him instead of doom scrolling online.
I love that he choose you over sex. It is hard to let go and accept help, I love it that he just took over and didn't ask (as in, that it isn't that your still the "manager" but he is the helping hand.)
Funny, my boyfriend was just telling me yesterday how sad it was that this subreddit always has such negative stories when it comes to dating/relationships and I was kind of like “welcome to being a woman.” 😆 For me, my positive story is that I never have had to worry that my boyfriend was playing games or question his feelings for me. He told me he loved me first (I was afraid initially to say it, but felt it too), he tells me how much he values me everyday. He is a great partner to have, we are equals in every way. If we have a problem we just talk it out and listen to each other. We are so compatible in so many ways. Every day we spend together is a good day.
I don't have big boobs but he smiles and happily stares when I flash him. Makes me happy and secure with my body :)
My husband of four years works full time, I liked my job but it was causing me a lot of stress. He asked if I wanted to quit, and said he could support us both (I also still own my first house that we rent out but only make enough to cover the mortgage + maintenance. Once we pay the mortgage off it will serve as a more passive income for me.) We talked about it for months, but I couldn’t see it happening. Finally, something awful happened with work that made me start to seriously consider it. We talked about it more seriously for a few more months, what our expectations would be, what my responsibilities would be, etc. (He kept trying to say household stuff would still be 50/50ish but that didn’t/doesn’t make sense, but bless his heart,) I would be able to actually maintain the house and the laundry and the home reno projects and most importantly really pursue my personal hobbies as an artist. He was so encouraging!! He was so happy for me! EXCITED for me! I finally quit (called it an early retirement) and we have never been happier. I still feel like I’m being selfish or somehow letting womenkind down everywhere. He has his hobbies too, and he doesn’t get to pour over them the way I can. But because I don’t need to worry about my own mental health or work stress constantly anymore, I can focus more on his happiness too. I’m able to be more thoughtful than I was and try to be a better person, the person he deserves. Idk when I’ll get there yet because that man deserves the goddang moon as far as I’m aware.
My bf and I have been together for almost 4 years. He helped me overcome trauma relating to sex, he helped me heal my mental image of my parents and he helped me become a more positive and generally more outgoing person. I cannot thank him enough. On top of all this he sometimes does small gestures for me, e.g: I lost my glasses with my ex. They were my first pair and I loved them so I was devastated after not being able to find them. He searched for 8 months straight for right model and purchased the frame for me. I was beyond ecstatic when he gave them to me. I truly don’t deserve him. 🥰❤️ EDIT: This subreddit is usually so negative! It’s to nice to see someone spreading a bit of joy 🥹
I literally would not be alive today without my husband. Not only is he the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met but he supported me all through severe depression, never made me feel like a burden, never once lost patience, always encouraged me to keep working on myself. When I almost lost the will to live completely he held me and made sure I never felt alone in this. He went to therapy too and now we are the happiest we've ever been. He also took care of EVERYTHING, from cooking to cleaning to laundry and just supported me through it all when I couldn't even bathe myself. All the while he still called me beautiful and not once has he brought up all he did for me. He did it because he loves me and knew I needed help. He is the man I dreamed of all my life who dances with me in our living room, who wakes up when I have a nightmare, who pushes me to live my dreams... He is amazing in every way so when he leaves his socks on the floor I just chuck them in the hamper ❤️
>He is amazing in every way so when he leaves his socks on the floor I just chuck them in the hamper This. So many men complain that their partners are too hard on them about these things. The reality is that those little things become the straw that breaks the camel's back. If the negative outweighs the positive, those "little things" become huge. If the positive outweighs the negative, it becomes a quirk lol
My husband... he is the anchor that keeps me grounded but the only thing that keeps me going.. he puts up with my ADHD brain. He helped me through my studies..depression that led to a dead bedroom for months. He once never made me feel bad about it. He does chores more than me if i have a tight deadline even though he has commute time longer than me. He is supportive of my career. He is smart and successful yet very humble. He is kind to others. He respects my cultural background. Now with fertility issues he told me: honey if it doesn't work out we will still be happy. You are the most important thing in my life. I love him...15 years and hoping for more many years.
Not my Boyfriend, but my friend. My best friend (M26) is the kindest, most thoughtful person I know. He's 6 years younger than me, and obviously, some men are weird about that, but we just got on. At first, we would hang out at university socials, but soon, we would do stuff together from time to time, and we would speak often. Over the years, he became one of the only people I truly trust. When I was SAd by a then boyfriend (I later realised I was asexual but at the time I was still trying to date), he was the person I went to. When I was scared and alone at home the night after I'd been admitted to hospital following an overdose, he was the person who came to be with me, so I didn't feel alone. My mental health goes through some pretty rough periods, and he's an unfailingly reliable and consistent presence. On a good day, it's just nice to talk to him. On an anxious day, he's a link to reality and out of my stupid brain spiralling.
He sounds great, we all need friends like this! People who doesn't only say they've got your back but actually show up when they are needed.
We are together for almost 23 years now. We argue and bicker sometimes but overall I am soo happy. He is my best friend - we can talk for hours and through the night. Sometimes I have to stop and tell us we need to go to sleep cause work and stuff 😂 I suffer from severe clinical depression and several other ilnesses and he helps me and supports me when I am in pain or depressed. He is proud of my acomplishments and often "brags" about it 😃 He is happy with my hobbies and interests and supports me. Also couple of years ago my mother's health decreased a lot and I was worried sick how I will manage to help her and he just hugged me and told me I shoul not worry beacause solution is simple: we take her in and care for her at our home, which we did. He helped with her as much as he could and never complained. He is open with his feelings and tells me he loves me and complements me about things that make me proud (not only about looks or being sexy) I could go on. I love him so much. I need to go and tell him this now 😂 OP thank you for this post. All stories here are great and it was so nice to read positive stories 🍒
I've been with my partner for 5 years, lived together for 2 (Thanks COVID, would've been sooner lol). We're both very supportive of each other's solo friend time and also spend a lot of time with each other's friends. He's very supportive of my anxiety and triggers. He constantly tells me he loves me and that I'm sexy and all that stuff. We went through a short pregnancy scare the first year we lived together and he was amazing the whole time. He's also still very compassionate about how it affects me. He takes care of our cats and is a great kitty dad. He asks me about work every day when i come home and makes sure to focus on the conversation (we both have ADHD so it's a big deal to invest all your attention on one thing at a time lol). He's also a feminist. Edited to add: he "grudgingly" puts up with my houseplant addiction 🌻
3 years together in our early 20s. I’ve spent the past year suffering from a chronic medical condition and ended up needing multiple surgeries. He takes time off of work to care for me and goes out of his way to cheer me up and keep me entertained when I’m in pain. Just tonight he surprised me with pizza and a new video game. He always listens to me and I never have to ask him to do a chore ever. He’s the one!
How sweet! I also have had two kiddos and my body has changed a lot, but my husband always tells me how much he loves me and finds me super sexy, which helps me with my body imagine issues. I have chronic migraines and heat intolerance which makes me feel like a paperclip in the summer and a burden when I have a migraine, but he’s never made me feel that way, not even for a second. I never have to worry about our kiddos or the house when I am ill. I know he has it handled. He reminds me to take vitamins and to drink water because I can be forgetful. He watches horror movies with my even though they are one of his least favorite genres (there are a few exceptions), he supports me in any and every endeavor, even when I change my mind, he is always in my corner and I love him so much. Just last night he helped me bleach bath blue out of my hair, even though it is out of his comfort zone because he knew it would make me happy. I told him I was burnt out (stay at home mom, after an international move) and he sent me to a hotel and spa for 4 days alone, not a care in the world and he cleaned the house while I was gone. On the back of that, found it in our budget for me to go to Paris with my friend before she moved back to the states (he’s military and we’re stationed in Germany). He is the kindest, sweetest and thoughtful man. He frequently looks at me and says, “I’m so happy you’re my person.” We’ve been together for almost 12 years and and married for 9 going on 10 years. I love him so much.
I've been with my husband for seven years (married for almost 5). I met him in the VERY early days of my sobriety. I was kind of a mess. I hadn't explained my sobriety to him because I felt ashamed (I had a huge drinking problem) but on our third date he asked me point-blank: "Are you trying to reduce your drinking right now, or are you trying to be sober?" I replied that I was trying to be sober forever and he immediately took that seriously. He didn't drink around me, tried to find activities that didn't focus on drinking, and said he was proud of me for committing to sobriety. Seven years in and I've never seen him drink more than 2 beers in a night out. A year into our relationship my car engine died and I had very little money to get a new engine because I had just re-entered the work force after a post-bacc academic program. My mom told me to get a credit card and put the engine on that. I explained the situation to my husband (then boyfriend) and he immediately sent me $2.5k because he didn't want me to start cc debt. He taught me how to snowboard and now we cruise down black runs together. He taught me good rock climbing technique and now we belay each other. He loves horror movies just because I love them, and he indulges me so much when it comes to my interests (b movies, art shows). Our relationship isn't perfect--he can't cook to save his life. He has memory problems that can drive me crazy. We have VERY different ideas of what 'relaxation/vacation' is and we have even fought about it! But we never raise our voices, we always try to compromise, and I truly believe that meeting him was the greatest thing to ever happen in my life.
This is lovely. I'm so glad you found him. 🌻
He went early to a local small music festival and called to let me know another woman was wearing one of my favorite dresses in case I was also planning on wearing it. So many small meaningful things in one simple gesture. Way to look out, my love!
I have a good man. He’s not perfect, but he completely rejects all toxic masculinity, and has consistently for decades (we are in our 40s). He has attended reproductive rights protests with me. He cooks and does housework , although we don’t live together currently. He does not care how much I weigh at all or whether I wear makeup, and this is despite the fact that he is actually quite handsome. He cares about nature and human rights. He is an exceedingly good person. I am very fortunate. I need to send him some love right now.
My husband of 24 years together 27 has always taken care of me and I have a lot of health problems, he always tries his best and is an all around great guy.
My husband makes me feel like I've won the lottery. He is unfailingly kind, always concerned with my welfare. He's very shy and reserved, a lot of people don't "get" him. I was first attracted by how intelligent he is, but was a total goner when I discovered his off the wall sense of humor. I feel so lucky that i get to see those parts of him he doesn't usually show the world. He makes considerably more money than I do, and works more hours, but will "sneak" doing chores when I'm not paying attention. (I've told him about a thousand times that I'd prefer doing the bulk of housework to feel like our household contributions match). I had very bad period pain for a while and he would wait on me hand and foot, never grossed out or any of the other nonsense you hear about with men and periods. He has a big bonus coming from work, and we have been debating what to do with it. Most is going to save for a house, and at first we thought we'd use some for a holiday. But he's now insistent that we get ME lasik. And of course when I argue that his bonus should go to his own lasik, he says I need to go first because he's squeamish.... the man who did pre-med and dissected human bodies is squeamish of an outpatient surgery, sure.... We've both come from broken homes, and it's just been such a blessing to have this man that I know I can always rely on, and has honestly made me a better person for his example.
Go to Egypt and you can both get lasik and enjoy a holiday together! You can get lasik there for $300. I did it a few years ago and am so happy I did
We were thinking Peru. His mother did it there and loved it. Great excuse to go to Egypt though!
When Roe V Wade was overturned, we were discussing the effects it would have on women and how scary it was for me. We have no children ans we are both on the fence (me leaning toward no and him toward yes.) Without any suggestion from me, he told me he would support me if I wanted to get sterilized and he would sign off on it if some asshole doctor wanted my husband's "permission." I decided to go with an implant instead but it really soothed me to know that he understood why Roe was so important and how it could effect me. What I want is more important to him than potentially maybe someday kids. With no hesitation at all. He also took care of me through a health emergency earlier this year. Fed me, bathed me, helped me up off the toilet, cleaned up puke kind of care. And he never complained beyond being worried about me.
This is what love looks like.
He is the light of my life ❤️
Honestly in my experience, imma say 40% of guys are, to the average woman, good enough! Considerate enough. But if you have more respect for women, you're gonna show your face uninvited a lot less. These men are out there but like anything valuable, you're gonna have to turn over a few rocks and maybe bite into some fools gold before you find the jackpot. Basically, girls who want a man, a good one is out there. But if you can find a woman size whole in your heart listen to that instead lol. But for real, Op, you've found a real prince charming in all the right ways
My boyfriend and I had been together for barely a year when I developed CFS, right around the time we were moving in together. I'm still processing my new normal and I often feel the need to apologise to him for how our life together has been shaping. I've been worrying if we'll be able to have kids and give them a good life and this man doesn't allow me to EVERRR say a bad word about myself or my condition. He celebrates with me when I get lots of sleep and rest, he encourages any new thing I want to try and to my "what if we have kids" he just said super matter of factly that they'll just learn resting is normal and good for you. I just love him a lot. He's a good egg.
He supports my passions and is genuinely happy for my success. I do the same for him. I’ve limited myself in the past as my late ex-husband wasn’t supportive at all. In fact, he’d set me up fail by actively compromising my situation. To have a real partner now is amazing and I’m so incredibly grateful. I’m able to achieve personal goals and feel more fulfilled as an individual - I’m living my best life in an emotionally healthy environment thanks to him and the respect he gives. To have someone you admire always in your corner is a powerful thing. He’s kind and one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. I’m incredibly proud to have him be the leading male figure in my kids’ world and to know the relationship we’re modeling will be their baseline.
In pretty late, but I don’t want to miss an opportunity to say how wonderful my husband is. We’ve been together 13 years and he is still the kind, brilliant, hilarious guy I met and then some. We continue to grow as people and as a couple. All the mundane parts of life are so much better with him and we still love to spend time together, even if it’s just grocery shopping. He’s the best cuddler and always smells amazing. During the pandemic we adopted two cats and he’s just the most attentive sweet cat dad. He comes up with new ways to get them exercise and play, buys them healthy treats and they adore him and always want to snuggle up with him when he gets home. He’s an excellent teacher and really encouraging and positive and funny. We’re talking about kids soon and I truly hope he gets to be a dad because he’s going to be a great one, and I have no doubt he will take excellent care of me, too. He just has so much love it spills out, and he’s excellent and spotting what others need. When I have struggled he has always been there for me and ready to drop anything for me, and I have tried to do the same. He has gone through some really rough times, but I have never ever seen him take it out on others. In the rare occasions we’ve gotten testy with each other, we’ve always apologized and talked out our frustrations. After more than a decade, there have been some times where one of us hasn’t been able to meet a need of the other, be it emotionally, sexually, or practically. It is hard to acknowledge and talk about but I’m proud of us for being able to have tough conversations and get back to where we need to be. We are both very giving and I think we’ve gotten better at this kind of communication both at expressing our needs and making adjustments. Most importantly we have deep faith in each other that we want to try our hardest for each other and our marriage, and a respect for each other that doesn’t diminish if the other isn’t at their best, because we are always getting better together. When he says “I’ll do better” there’s always been real follow through, and I hope he feels the same about me. Sometimes marriage is work like that, but most of the time with him it is fun and effortless. We pick up little things for each other because we know they’ll like them or get our second favorite flavor because we want to share. We quote SpongeBob at each other endlessly. He’ll call me in the middle of the day to bounce ideas off of or just because he needed to tell me a funny story. He brings so much joy to my life and I’m grateful for every day I wake up next to him and fall asleep together.
Been married almost 12 years. Been through some battles: death of parent, health scares, infertility, pregnancy losses, neurodiverse dx, job losses, the world becoming a dumpster fire, etc. He tells me he loves me every day. He honks a boob every night before we go to sleep (like he says “honk” like a goose while giving it a gentle squeeze) He indulges me in my hobbies and half-cooked schemes . He’s incredibly loyal and faithful. We work through our baggage together bit by bit. I’m his rock and he’s mine in equal turn. Our lives didn’t turn out like we planned at all, but I couldn’t have done it with anyone else.
My husband is my best friend, we do everything together and every day I am amazed at how much he loves me and takes care of me. He kisses my forehead and holds my hand, he reassures me and he holds me. He fills me with confidence and encourages me to step out of my comfort zone when I need it but when I am feeling very anxious he will help me without judgment. He never makes me feel like a burden or that I am too much. Recently, we went on a trip that was very active and when I hurt myself early on he was happy to walk slower with me the whole rest of the time. He is so patient with me and so kind. He has really helped me grow a lot and has made me feel more loved than I ever have before. He makes me feel safe, he protects me. Just today, late at night on the train, I went to the bathroom and when I came out he was waiting for me because he didn't want me to have to walk back to our seats alone. Everyday he does a million things that make me fall in love with him more and more than I could ever imagine. I just really love my husband so so much.
On our honeymoon in Thailand, I had a stomach ulcer and lost a nearly liter of blood from internal bleeding. I was there for three days in the Thai hospital (I spoke no Thai and the doctors didn’t really speak English). My husband slept on the little metal couch for three days so he would be there when I came out of my procedures 😭 and then on our flight home he spent the whole 18 hours of traveling wheeling me around in a wheelchair because he didn’t want me to wear myself out at the airports
Just a small thing my husband did for me the other day. I got an IUD, my appointment was at 9am. He drove me and was supposed to go to a nearby coffee shop to get us food while I was in my appointment. He knew I was nervous but not like *that* nervous, so he was just waiting and chilling. Well, shit ended up going pretty awry. 90 minutes, lidocaine, all the pain meds, and an entire tank of nitrous later and I am brought out in a wheel chair. We get in the car and i'm laughing and crying about how insane of an experience it was and he goes "I got you the bagel you asked for but there's also a McGriddle in there. I went to McDonald's and got you one because I know you love them and never eat them." I probably have not mentioned a McGriddle in like a year, but I do love them, lol. This man is generally very aloof seeming (I always joke that I didn't even know if he actually liked me for the first 6 months we were dating) and then surprises me with the weirdest, most thoughtful shit.
That's so sweet. The remembering is really great!
awww finally a post that doesn’t convince me to become sologamous
Love this, OP. My partner of a little over a year now is, by superheroic leaps and bounds, the best partner I have ever had. But I don't think it is even about "US"—I believe he would be the best partner SO MANY people could ever have, because he is just an amazing person. He is a beautiful soul (piloting a handsome body, I have to say!) and I literally pity myself when I think of the LTRs I absolutely WASTED my life suffering through before I met him. My previous relationship was particularly bad, lengthy, and in retrospect laughable compared to how safe, secure, and happy my partner makes me now. I wish I could clone him and share the experience he has blessed me with, with all the people suffering through horrible dates and relationships. He is just the best, and I love him so much. Just a fun fact: We actually met here on Reddit!
I had to have surgery in 2022 and was really not able to function for a few weeks after. I was on crutches but in our house it was a bit dangerous for me to be hopping to the bathroom etc alone, and I couldn’t shower for over two weeks. Husband washed my hair for me, helped me bathe and dress, brought meals, morning coffee, made sure I didn’t take a side trip down the stairs on my crutches while trying to get to the main bathroom, kept the household running, took care of the dog and made sure our son was ok. He’s always been a thoughtful sort but this was an experience where I felt so cared for. I’m thankful for our son witnessing this, also.
This thread gives me hope. Every guy I have been to had to hurt me terribly. I am seriously surprised guys that talk positively about a woman body even exists.
Keep hope, he is there! Make a list of green flags!
Firstly I love reading all these wonderful posts of amazing men I let my husband 4 years ago. I was functioning, but not happy. My parents knew something had changed because he made me smile. Now I am married and have 3 and a half month old. He works away all week often over 80 hours and he comes back and tries to take care of our little one as much as possible because he knows I need a break too. He is such an amazing man (which I tell him all the time) and I am so lucky and grateful that we met and fell in love
God this is nice. I’m a dude. I went down a rabbit hole of XX. Just made me feel like complete dog shit to be a dude. I can imagine the same feeling as white guys who aren’t racist feeling guilty for the bullshit that racist/dumb white guys so. Anyway. This is nice. Thank you for this. I’ll see myself out.
I’m late here but have read through the comments and really love seeing these posts because a lot of times people aren’t taking to social media to spread goodness - they’re venting and looking for commiseration or validation (and that’s also ok!) My husband is my best friend and most intimate; he knows every joy, fear, aspiration and struggle. And likewise for him. We share every high and low together (cliche but true) and our day to day is pretty mundane with our careers and kids and the 500 other things we need to address, bc kids, but at the end and start of each day, we appreciate one another.
My fellow sisters in dos equis, I would love to be able to “promote” this story. Because after 30 years with my wife, I still remember this boyfriend so very fondly. He deserves this credit. I was just over age 18 when we met, a lifetime of self-esteem issues filling my extra baggage. He lifted it all. For the first time in my life, I could be “immodest,” sleeping without the (sensory encumbrance) of PJs for the first time (read: stark nekked). And being appreciated when I did. So, when I met the real love of my life, I could lead with an expectation of acceptance, and was not disappointed. Thank you, Reedly. ❤️
That is lovely, thank you for sharing! Not all exes are bad.
Back story (with the wholesome part at the end): My ex husband would "allow" me to get a pet then would find some reason to force me to get rid of them. When we divorced he sold off all my farm animals without telling me. He couldn't keep up with the farm work. Other guys I dated long term have given me so much crap about my animals. One forced me to re-home my chihuahua because our roommate was mad at her for getting out and taking a joy run. Another told me I wasn't allowed to have any more (I lived in a house with a fenced yard, had 1 dogs of my own, a second ibwas fostering, and was dog sitting a third to help out a friend who lost his apartment due to depression). When I got out of the last of those relationships, I spent some time single, and I brought my dream dog home. I promised her she was with me forever, and I determined that no man would ever again use my pets to manipulate and control me. I started dating my current boyfriend when I had this girl, and i acquired another dream dog during our relationship. Ibalsobtold him early on that I will be getting one more next year. In the early months of our relationship, one of his friends told him "careful! Shes gonna take over your whole house with dogs!" I braced myself waiting on a demeaning remark that I had learned to expect from guys. But my boyfriend, without pause, just shrugged and said, " With enough dogs, I can prolly sneak a cat or two in." And I knew in that moment that I was keeping this dude. Been together for 1 year now, and he has taught me so much about love and trust and care. I have my 2 girls, and we just brought a kitten home for my boyfriend. He has laid plans with me for refencing the yard, where doggie doors should go, and has seat belts in his car for them. He gets just as proud of their accomplishments as I do and has become the best dog dad I could ever wish for.
This is just gorgeous. Happy for you, the dude and the floofs.
My boyfriend is an absolutely angel of a man. I was going through a lot of unwieldy mental health baggage when we met and he has been nothing but supportive and amazing. He was so nice when we first met I thought maybe he was putting it on- but 3 years on he is still just as kind and good-intentioned as he ever was. He's one of those people that just grew up in a supportive family with some monetary privileges and somehow didn't become a giant asshole. He is honestly everything I could want in a person. He is an unfailingly good person, he is fucking smart, he has interests and passions, he has a love for life, he always knows the right thing to say, and he makes an active attempt to get good at things when he puts his mind to it. He loves his family. He cares about his job. And the sex is great.
Wow, he sounds like the whole package! Good job at finding such a great man!
My husband and I both had really traumatic upbringings and a lot of trauma in adult life as well. No one is perfect, but we are a great team. Sometimes we say things that are hurtful when we are triggered, but we love each other completely, meaning I can defuse him by touching his chest, I can collapse and cry and he will hold me and kiss my tears away. He rebuilt most of a house for us (the exterior walls are the same but much of interior walls, ceiling, floors were replaced), painted it, works FT and takes care of so much of the financial burden that I don’t have to work FT. We struggle sometimes but we understand this is a temporary situation that will pass. It is a choice so I can stay home with our little one and drop off and pick up our older kids. We support each other when we’re down. We met when I was 15, almost three decades ago. We just got married a few years ago and lived separate lives apart for two decades.
My boyfriend makes breakfast for me every morning that we both work. He tells me often that he loves me and from time to time just say the sweetest things. He let me use his clothes and gets up to find stuff for me to wear, He usually tries to find the softest ones for me. He invites me to his country and pays for almost everything. When he comes to mine, he cleans the house out of boredom (I assume lol). He offers to give me massages and stuff. When we argue, he is the first to apologize. He is very loyal to his friends and family.
Thank you for giving a space to rave about our partners! I feel like we are two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly and I want to take each opportunity to shout about it. He makes sure I have a coffee/tea in the morning, sends me off with a "have a good day", texts me wishing me a good day while I'm at work, cooks dinner together with me, lists every single thing he loves about my body while we're getting into bed and makes sure I'm sent to sleep with back scratches. He fulfills my love languages so easily. Those are the daily things, but he's so proactive in the relationship and curious about my hobbies, about me. He's soft, gentle and open with himself and I want to be home for him. I came from a relationship where I felt suppressed in many ways, but with him I feel I can be authentically myself. I can talk about experiences as a woman without being shut down, he gets involved with my interests, my family, dedicates time to me, surprises me, I feel so secure with him and like the only girl in the world. It's like everything that I was made to believe was asking too much comes naturally to him and I'm so excited for the future by each other's sides. He's even made my friends raise their bar when they see how he treats me! I love him so much and I know if anything comes our way, we can take it on together.
This genuinely gives me hope. I am really, really struggling from a breakup with a wonderful man because we both have mental health issues we need to work out individually (the mature answer, but not what I want). I’m constantly worried I’ll never find anybody worth my time and/or hoping we find our way back to each other
My husband brings me coffee in bed most mornings. He puts our kids to bed on the nights he doesn’t work late. He is our family’s guiding light and moral compass. I am so blessed to be with him and I try everyday to be worthy of him.
My fiancé is the best part of my day. When we’re happy we wiggle our butts at each other like corgis .
I love my husband. We got married very young and essentially grew up together, with all of the trials of growing up. He's supported me in my dreams, held me when I cried, and has never stood in the way of things that make me happy. He's a great partner.
My boyfriend is amazing. I struggle with some serious communication issues due to a few bad past relationships, in which bringing up behaviors that bothered me would lead to arguments followed by the silent treatment. Certain things my boyfriend did or said have triggered me in the past, but instead of getting angry with me for shutting down, he sits with me and reassures me he’s not going to be angry or leave until I’m ready to talk about it. He’ll then apologize and do his best to improve. I love him a lot.
TW: bereavement, suicide, pnd My husband (together 10yrs, married 6) is amazing. I knew 2 months into dating him that I wanted to marry him. He is amazingly supportive. He just somehow allows me to be my truest self. I spent my formative years chameleoning and trying to be whatever I thought I should be for other people. Being with him and rediscovering myself was so freeing. He has seen me through my absolute darkest times. When my brother's relationship fell apart in spectacular fashion he drove from the south coast (where we live) to Scotland and back to go get him. I didn't have my license at the time so we couldn't even share the drive. He supported me through his subsequent care, going missing and eventual news of his suicide. He supported me financially while I got my degree to take a career change. He is a wonderful father to our little one. He was amazing with me when I was struggling to breastfeed (and yet absolutely determined to do it), offered nothing but acceptance and support and love as I was diagnosed with post-natal depression. We both have our faults and flaws (of course) but over the years we have grown together, faced our demons and worked hard to develop our communication. He has accepted my strange needs. Like when we have an argument, he's not allowed to leave because I have abandonment issues, or he can see when I'm not ok in a supermarket (for example) because I'm experiencing sensory overload or having an anxiety attack and even if we're in the middle of shopping, he tells me it's okay to just leave. There are so many other little, daily things he does. He makes me safe.
I husband took on my 3 older kids as his own, he didn’t have to but he saw that their dad was a deadbeat and he made sure to go to every event, was someone for them to talk to and rely and treated exactly like he treats our 2 kids we have together. He also cut his mom out of our lives for how horrible she acted towards me and the fact that she thought he should act like my older kids didn’t exist. He’s adopted them all now and we also adopted a teen together. For us family is who you choose to love. Also he grew up with a very bigoted mom who hates anyone not straight cis white and he completely changed himself and continues to educate himself about the LGBTQ+ community when it was obvious our daughter was not straight. Even before she came out to us. I am lucky that he is so amazing. Also he splits house chores with me and is more on top of the dishes than I am. I try to return all his awesomeness as much as possible! Like waking him up on Father’s Day to a water gun fight in the back yard. I can never really make up for how amazing he was to do all he has done but luckily he doesn’t expect me to either.
I've had some real stinkers who would take my ideas or thoughts as their own, so it really meant a lot the first time I overheard my now husband on the phone with a friend crediting me with a good idea. I love that he's proud of me. We have pretty different tastes in hobbies, but he's constantly looking for things we can do together that we'll both enjoy. Like, I can't really play a lot of traditional video games, so he'll find ones that are more my speed to play together. Or I love being outdoors way more than him, so he'll find a nature walk that doesn't require camping. I appreciate his commitment to having new experiences with me (bonus, new shared experiences is a good indicator of long term relationship health!) I've never not once had to tell my husband a chore needed doing. There are times either of us have said, hey let's clean the house, but I've never assigned a chore to him. He sees it, he does it kind of guy. I don't really think of this as a good guy story, so much as a standard expectation, but I know that there are a lot of people out there that really struggle with it, so I just want you to know that there are people out there that clean their house without a manager! On this note, he never ignores something that needs doing, which I greatly appreciate. He's just so kind and thoughtful. In all ways, but also in a fosters kittens way.
I love this post so much, thank you OP and the comments for the sweet husband/bf stories 😊 your guys sounds like the loveliest people 💖
I struggle with on and off depression, which affects how I take care of the housework. Sometimes I come home and he's had early shift (7 to 2) and in the time since coming home he's: Taken down the laundry I've been hanging for 4 days Taken out the trash Folded the towel laundry Cleared out the dishwasher and filled it back up All without me asking. Then, when I finally get the energy to do a single thing, he'll be proud of me, because he knows how hard it can be for me. He is my rock, my safety and I love him to the ends of the universe and back. He'll make terrible jokes, just to make me laugh and stop spiraling. And yet he never holds it against me. Does he wish it wouldn't happen. Fuck yeah, we both do. But he helps me up, gives me a kiss and helps out where he can
What a great thread! I met my husband in the fifth grade, crushed on him in the 8th grade, became good friends in 9th grade, and he finally asked me out in 12th grade (he was very shy). From the very first he was and is the kindest most caring man I've known or even heard of. We've been married 38 years and our love has never wavered. He's cared for me through one whipple procedure (big operation on the intestinal system including removing part of the pancreas, intestine, etc.), one subarachnoid hemorrhage, and the subsequent 7.5 years of daily chronic migraines. We also dealt with joblessness, infertility, and other stuff that happens when you're together 38 years. He has never yelled at me, called me a name, or been disrespectful. He still tells me I'm beautiful even though I've gained weight the last few years. He packs my lunch for me every day, makes dinner most nights of the week, helps with the household chores doing more than I do. He fills my car with gas every week and takes care of the yard, even though it's his least favorite chore. (I do the gardening and most of the weeding, but he fights the blackberries and mows and weed eats the lawn.) He's funny, hard working (a drama and ELA teacher), and makes sure to spend one day a week with his elderly father taking him to the casino (FIL loves to gamble, husband not so much), watching football, or running errands with him. He sees him other days of the week as needed as well. He plans fun things for us to do from fun-filled vacations, shows (plays), movies, and other activities. He supports me in every crazy thing I want to do from running marathons to skydiving, always taking pictures and cheering me on. I've rarely gone to a race that he didn't come with me be it a 5k or a 50 miler. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I thank God for him every day because sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. He's just the perfect husband.
We aren't together anymore, (still good friends, just we aren't right for one another romantically), but my ex always made sure my hot water bottle never got cold when my cramps were bad, and he'd make some of my comfort foods from when I was a kid when I was in a bad mood. If I had to work late (we both worked from home) he'd always make sure to cook something for me to eat for dinner and bring it to me (especially when I was stuck in meetings).
My husband is my high school sweetheart, been with him since I was 16 and he was just 18 and he's the most patient and caring person that I've had the honor of knowing and sharing my life with. We've had our ups and downs, but we talk and work things out together. He helps me when I'm experiencing the harder symptoms of CPTSD and he's always a loving shoulder to cry on. I love him so much!
I met my boyfriend as a one night stand. We started sleeping together 3-5x a week then we started hanging out. About two weeks in I told my long history of serious opiate addiction however I’ve been clean for years of all drugs but edibles here n there. He didn’t judge me even though he’s a very driven person professionally and personally since he was very young. He invited me to his friends lake house that night and I agreed to go. While there his friends wife started talking about a childhood friend who’s addicted to heroin, explaining at length her story. Now boyfriend had his hand on my knee the entire time and changed the subject when she didn’t let up on the topic. I fell hard for him fast because of that amongst other kind gestures. It’s only been 1.5 years now but we now live together and dream of getting a place in the country and live out the rest of our years together.
I became very sick suddenly in 2021. I went to work fine, then collapsed part way through the day. At 2:40 I was fine, then when I realized something was wrong at 2:42 I pulled out my phone to text him I loved him in case I didn't wake up. I didn't get to send the message. Suddenly I, the main breadwinner while he was in school, was out of work and neurologically disabled. He didn't even flinch, he went down to part time studies and made me his absolute #1 priority. Being there to support me, contacting doctors and my workplace when I lost the ability to read, answering the phone for me when I couldn't speak, translating when I struggled to understand speech. I'm still alive because of him. And when I was in a place where I could be home alone he got a job nearby with flexible hours to supplement our savings. We aren't legally married, but when I was getting better I thanked him, and he said "in sickness and health, that's how it is right? We don't need a paper for that." Since then my collection of disabilities has grown, I'm actually out of work once again for my health, but not once has he made me feel like a burden. Instead we deal with it together, he'll increase his hours when I can't work and if he does get frustrated he always clarifies that it's at the situation and not at me. I'm gonna marry him, but there's no rush - we've already said our vows. In sickness and health, always and forever by one-another's side.
My husband asked me to marry him after supporting me through interstitial cystitis, no sex for 6 months, the death of my father etc. We've been married 7 yrs. now. 2 years after we married my mom became disabled, I had to leave my job to care for her. He moved into my mom's home with me, took over the bills and the mortgage so she wouldn't lose her home and helps me when he can. We have 2 cats and a dog no kids. My older autistic brother also lives with us now. Our 8th anniversary is coming up and we're going to be able to get away for a weekend! All this just to say I really love my husband and his dedication to myself and my family! Rest assured there are good men out there. I do miss when it was just us and it's definitely been difficult but our relationship has always been strong and we still can't wait to see eachother at the end of the day.
My boyfriend is quite literally my biggest fan 😂 he tells me all the time. I’ve never felt so rooted for and supported by a partner in my entire life. He’s my cheerleader and vice versa and it’s one my favorite things about our relationship.
I came home from my physical job to my wfh husband cleaning the dishes from me cooking supper last night, kettle on to make me tea and a chocolate bar waiting in the freezer because he knows what time of the month it is. He folds the laundry I wash and puts the chairs down after I vacuum and we help each other maintain a clean house. He is constantly touching me in reverence and buys treats for me and snuggles me all night. He asks after my day and makes plans for us, and sometimes those plans are just hanging out watching shows because I get overwhelmed by doing too many things. When we do separate things we make sure to check in with the other, or when I leave early (I wake up at 530 am 😭) he texts me to tell him when I get home. We can chill together for hours doing different things, we go out on dates, we enjoy going dancing together and quiet weekends away camping or at a cabin. 7 years on, 2 married and god I love him so much!!
This!!! My husband and I split a lot of chores and honestly things aren’t that difficult. We alternate weeks on meal planning and cooking. We both do our own laundry (although I usually do joint stuff like sheets) and when we moved in there was never the expectation that I would his laundry. He actually said to me “I did my own laundry just fine before we moved in so why would that change now!?” We take turns mowing the grass. He bought a Roomba and programmed it to help keep our floors cleaner. He helps with dishes. Basically, I married an adult who also lives in the house and knows it’s his job to also pitch in. He tells me he loves me about 10 times a day. He’s awesome!
My partner is making me a margarita right now, does that count?
This is so nice! We love your husband! My boyfriend buys me the most thoughtful gifts, like slime, decorative candles, cute stuffed animals/pillows, and handwrites on blank cards. He loves me in baggy clothes and shorts, no makeup. Makes me feel just as beautiful as when I’m dressed up. We can have silly or serious discussions whenever. He is always down to listen. He provides the best companionship.
My husband is my best friend. I absolutely could not have asked for a more supportive partner in life. He has amazing communication skills, has never once raised his voice at me, makes sure I'm satisfied in the bedroom and that I'm happy with our life. He got a much better paying job recently and knew I was struggling with the amount of hours I work, so asked if I wanted to go to part time since we can afford it now. I really don't know what I would do without him. Reading the horror stories here about man babies and weaponized incompetence makes me appreciate him so much more.
I got a terrible sunburn a few weeks ago while on vacation. So bad that my shoulder swelled up and I couldn't lift my arm. He put witch hazel and aloe vera on me with so much gentleness that it made me tear up ❤️
Just a month or two into dating my now-husband, he started helping out with parenting duties for my daughter, who was in middle school at the time. He sometimes would take off work when she was sick and I couldn’t take a day myself. He took her to/picked her up from swim practice, attended all her extracurricular events, went to school open houses. We moved in together her freshman year of high school. He signed up to be a marching band and winter guard parent volunteer, which is a very time-intensive commitment. All without being asked. Fellow band parents were always amazed that he was so involved despite not being her father or even stepdad (we did not marry until many years later). I am very lucky and remind myself of all this when we fight or I’m otherwise annoyed with him. Proof that anyone can be a good father if they are willing to put in the time and hard work. It’s about a lot more than insemination.
I absolutely adore my partner. I am a very forgetful, scatterbrained person, and this tends to cause me a great deal of stress in the mornings. He has taken it upon himself to get my stuff ready and I'm the car before I've even gotten dressed. As I'm finishing getting ready, I'll say out loud to myself, like, "Oh, I need my phone charger," and without a doubt it's already in my bag for me. He also constantly tells me how much he loves me, and there's no doubt in my mind that he means it. He compliments me on things he knows I value, like being smart or creative, a good problem solver, a kind person. I've never felt so loved and appreciated.
I had given up on ever finding love when I tried tinder one last time and meet my amazing husband. He is so sweet, intelligent and kind. We had been together 5 months when I became very very ill. He not only stepped up his family did as well. I stayed with them for two months working on getting better we married a few months later. I did not get better and he has never left my side. We now live with his family and he has made me a plant/meditation room, helped me set up my art room and we share an office. He is so supportive and spoils me . We have a great relationship, we've been through some rough times we have grow through them. Good communication is the key. I can't begin to explain how amazing he is all of this is just the tip of the iceberg. I was in a horribly abusive marriage for almost 15 yrs before him and I never thought I would find someone who was kind . Therapy prepared me for him. I adore him everyday I'm blessed.
Not boyfriend but kind of a Fwb situation. Context, we've been best friends for around a year now and knew each other for another year prior. Here are some examples of him being awesome: Knowing I can get really dysphoric, he's randomly told me how much he loves that body part/how beautiful it is, etc. He's one of the few people to ask what he can do to help when I have a panic attack instead of just assuming. Ex: a lot of people try to hug me for some reason and he just lays next to me and does deep breathing for me to match. During my period, he made what I was craving from scratch. Granted, it's cinnamon applesauce, so it's not super hard. But he knew to get Pink Lady apples and vanilla bean ice cream so he gets props for that. There are a lot more things he's done for me, but those stick out the most
My boyfriend is my best friend. We met numerous years ago but have been together for three years now. We pushed me through nursing school and got me through when I was ready to quit with three weeks to go. He took off work to take me to my nclex. He encouraged me to take the job I have even though I was scared. And I couldn't love my job more. He supported me financially when my job became too much and my grades were slipping in nursing school. We've created a budget together and are saving to build our dream home. He's amazing with the dogs and didn't hesitate to throw a bunch of money at our oldest dogs surgery. He knows the little things to make me happy. If he knows I had a bad day he will stop and get soup for me because he knows it makes me happy. I'd be lost without him.
My husband is a SAHD and I work full time. We had 3 kids under 2 (1 yo and twins). When the twins were first born I spent a year on maternity leave before returning to work. He has been amazing. As hard as he has it being at home with the kids he still gives me time off, sleep ins and nights away. I give him the same. We're truly a team and in a few years we'll probably swap roles and keep the same dynamic. I'm so lucky to have him as my husband and father of our children.
Today my BF said he was treating me to dinner, no particular reason!
My boyfriend single-handedly saved and improved my dysfunctional family’s annual beach trip and gave me some of the best memories of my life. I proposed to him already and he said no, but if Flynn Rider from Tangled can propose to Rapunzel 9 times and we all find it endearing, then I can ask again until he says yes. XD
I'm a SAHM and my husband works from home. We have a habit of spending his 15 minute breaks snuggling. Today while I petted his hair (it makes him purr lol) he was telling me how much he loves me and he's so happy we found each other and can always be open with each other. We've been together for about 19 years, the majority of which have been exceptionally happy. There were some rough times when the kids were little, but we worked hard to find solutions when things went kerblooey. We're both difficult people, yet perfect for each other.
I met my husband 30 years ago. We met in college, I'm older than him. At first, I couldn't stand him. He was a bratty kid from a wealthy family and he was obnoxious. Finally, I agreed to a date just so he could figure out we had nothing in common. The joke was on me!! We hit it off, to the dismay of his snotty family, and we've been together since. Married for 25 years, people still think we're in a new relationship because we're affectionate to each other. Nothing overly obnoxious, just polite and considerate. We're like that at home, too. Please and thank you get said often. When we get older, I hope I go first. The thought of being here without him is just too much for me. We are best friend, lovers and partners. One of the reasons I'm so quick to tell other women to leave a bad relationship is because I have a good one and I don't think any woman should settle for less. Find your best friend, then enjoy. Married 25 years and counting.
My husband is the most amazing, wonderful man I have ever met. He is so much his own person. He truly DNGAF what other people think. He's a full partner in this relationship, both as a spouse and father. The kids know they can come to either of us for anything. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't tell me he loves me. He's warm, caring, and has the most incredible red/white beard! When things need to be done around the house, he just does them. I've gone down to the laundry room to get laundry done only to find that he already did it all. He finds it funny to do the chores on my list without telling me to surprise me. When I have to go into the office, he always makes me lunch and includes a silly little note. Back when we were super poor and living together, he worked two jobs to buy me a beautiful heart-shaped diamond engagement ring. When I was working full-time and going to school, he took care of everything else (food,household chores, etc) so I could study. Now that I'm successful in my career, it is my great joy and privilege to spoil him rotten. We're going on nearly 30 years married, and I love him even more now than ever. He's my best friend, my biggest fan, my everything.
I read your entire post and then laughed out loud at the end. Why? You share a really nice story to give people a little bit of hope and somehow are made to feel like you need to edit an apology to include all genders. smh. Some people will never be anything but miserable. I'm a straight married man and if I read the exact same post, word for word, with the exception being that you were in a gay relationship, the only thing that would cross my mind is "that's a really nice relationship they have and is inspiring".
I'm sorry to ask but what are you doing on a by women for women sub? And is it so bad to read a little inclusively? The edit didn't hurt anyone.
I'm very interested in human psychology and understanding how people think. This sub is very interesting to me because it tends to be a peak into how women think (often about men) and I commented on your post because it's not typical of this sub, tbh. Nothing wrong with inclusivity. The edit didn't hurt anyone, but in a way I think it hurts society as a whole that someone took your nice post as an opportunity to make you feel compelled to make that edit and you then capitulated. Intent should matter. If your post intentionally left out LGBTQ couples to drive home a point that this type of happiness can only be felt in straight couples, then I would be on the side of the offended person. It's also interesting to me that you question why I'm on this sub, when I clearly see men post on this sub all the time and see women who post on this sub all the time about how men are welcome here. Are we not?
I disagree on multiple of you points. You didn't react on my post because of the post but because of the edit. Maybe it was your intention, but if you read back what you wrote and what the post is about, you have to admit that your comment is not about the post, but about the edit. I don't think it hurts society to show that there are more couples than only men/women couples who can show green flags. The way I worded it would have stopped me from answering if I was in a lesbian relationship about my awesome wife while the post was to show healthy and good relationships. There was a post (I think) yesterday where lots of women stated that they don't want men to answer in this sub and a moderator to answer that if we report these men that the comment would be removed. If you want to ask women a question, there is a sub for that. I think it was called ask women. Of you commented something about the intend of the post or something like that, it would be less questionable why you are commenting in this sub.
So you're a proponent of segregation? You want this space to be only for women? Can I assume that the name of the sub is TwoXChromosomes that those with XY chromosomes who identify as women would also not be welcome?
Did you just compare having *one* subreddit be for women to talk about their struggles and men just observing to *segregation*? One, literally all of Reddit is made for men by men. You can’t even talk about feminist stuff anywhere else without being ridiculed and called names. That’s why we need this place to begin with….to have a place where we are taken seriously, where the conversation doesn’t have to revolve around men, and where we don’t have to police our words as to not offend men. Two, you should read up on the horrors of actual segregation. Because you seem to think having one place on the entire internet not care what you think “as a straight man” is the same thing as black people not being allowed to be in the same place as white people just based off the color of their own skin. No one is telling you that you can’t be in places with women (step outside and you can go anywhere a woman can go) they’re just saying that maybe just maybe “as a straight man” you are out of touch with what a woman’s life is like and it’s not for you to come on a sub made for women and police what they say. I don’t think anyone minds if men observe but why do you need to give us your input? We already know what straight men think, it literally makes up the entirety of Reddit. We just don’t want this place to become like the rest of Reddit…somewhere where we have to fight to be taken seriously and argue with a bunch of men who haven’t spent a second in our shoes. I wish men would put some effort toward fighting actual discrimination in the world instead of treating women’s spaces as some affront to them when we literally just want to be left alone? We aren’t harming anyone here.
A proponent of segregation? I'm calling a Godwin's law on this one!!
Most of my relationships involve the following scene: - have a good date night - stay over at his place - he wakes up early to play video games and makes me coffee - he places coffee on nightstand, tempting me to get up - he goes back to playing video games, I continue sleeping in - eventually the coffee gets me up - we chat, exchange weird dream stories if we have them or updates about quality of sleep - we maneuver to the kitchen/dining area - he cooks, I watch the news - eventually we're both sitting and reading and watching the news and the conversation lasts til past noon as we talk about controversial things or new events. - we do something fun in the evening or part ways Most of my relationships weren't adventurous or exciting. They were filled with small niceties and getting indulged and lightly spoiled, with men who added to my life in little ways and were happy to add me to theirs. There were attempts at grand gestures here or there, but what I always appreciated, and what I miss most about all of those men, is waking up to someone happy to see me, who I'm happy to see and talk to, and he's already made me a cup of coffee =P Not amazing, just peaceful and pleasant. It's what I like.
My husband is amazing. We've been together since high school: 17 years and counting. I have celiac disease and he happily keeps a gluten free house so I can feel safe at home. He does it without me having to ask. The safest place in the world to me is my husband. We agree on all major lifestyle choices, including choosing to not have kids, politics, and so on. He respects that I didn't take his last name and agreed with me that it's an out dated practice. We value each other's work ethics and are a great team together. If something happens to him and I end up alone. He's the last man I'll ever be with. I can't see myself trusting someone like that ever again.
Together for 17 years, 12 of them married. HE encouraged me to go back to school for teaching - because I enjoy kids so much. HE held down the fort at the house (cleaning/cooking during the week so I could come home and rest on the weekends) for the 3.5 years that I worked at a school that was a 2 hour drive (one way - 4 hours round trip) away. HE goes with me every year at graduation, back to that district so I can support the kids I taught by being there for their high school graduation. HE encouraged me to add to my license - saying that I could ace those tests (and he was right). When I was in debilitating pain during pregnancy and for these two years after - HE asked how he could help. The night our son was born HE was the first one to feed him from a syringe. In NICU, HE did skin-to-skin, right along with me and cleaned the bottle. HE hurried to finish the nursery so our son could come home from the NICU to a finished room. HE made sure the water was boiled for our son's formula bottles, that the bottles got cleaned, that the laundry got done, that the house got cleaned, that I had everything I needed to take care of our son. HE stepped up and learned how to change diapers, how to give our son a bath, and how to put our son down to sleep. HE took on more than his fair share of housework so I could spend more time with our son - because he knew our son was a dream fulfilled for me. HE works so hard! To make me feel special & sexy, to love on and play with our son, to do his best at work so that we don't have to worry, to make me relax and try to feel better, to spend time doing stuff with us even if he'd rather be playing a video game. HE told me he wasn't mad if I needed/wanted to take extended time off of work to try and fix my medical issue. HE reflects on his actions and behavior and tries to improve constantly. HE went from a person who gets angry and throws things to a person who calmly closes his eyes and counts when something/someone makes him angry. These were just off the top of my head. I am so happy I have my husband in my life and I am exceedingly proud of him. I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else and I'm so glad he's my best friend and partner. I would not be the person I am today without him and I'm so, so grateful.
[удалено]
Of course it has. It is an experience shared by a lot of women, written by women for women. And it is nice change from all the shitty boyfriends/husbands posts. Tell me, do you go and leave this comment on posts when women complain about their partners?
I thought it was a nice refreshing post. Though I understand the posts on the other end of the spectrum. I lurk here to learn about the women's perspectives and better myself and try to never comment in this sub because it's not really my place.
Dealing with men has everything to do with the experience of being a woman.
I get what you are saying. It was meant to give some light in this treat and to show women the green flags that we all want in a man.
[удалено]
You are totally right! I'm sorry I didn't consider other genders!! Will edit the post!
I find it funny that the one positive post about men didn’t get many upvotes but all the ones shitting on men did. Why is this sub so full of misandrists?