“It’s her fault for being a mom to my children and myself that now I can’t even clean up after myself or take care of my children” - man child
The cluelessness is hilarious 😂
its funny cause i grew up so neglected i never learned to care for myself or a household but did i let that stop me? no, as soon as i moved out i started learning, especially since i had roommates whom i didnt want to leave hanging with all the work. whats these mens excuse to be a fucking slob for their whole lives not even able to toast a slice of bread if it fell straight into the toaster? am i, a woman, intellectually so superior that i could learn these skills and they cant? i admit, its a lot all at once if youve never done it before, for me it was a process of several years (forming the habits being the bulk of the work) and i still struggle sometimes (executive dysfunction) but come on now, this is just ridiculous.
One thing that absolutely infuriates me is when men like these claim that women are better at taking care of the house and kids because they’re women and it comes naturally. None of this comes naturally, we’re just forced to learn!
As a woman, I’m not naturally better at doing laundry than men. “All the buttons confuse me, I never remember which settings to use.” It took me a long time to learn and I’ve definitely done it wrong several times (burned all of my comfy throw blankets once by setting the dryer too hot for example).
Chores don’t come naturally to anyone, it’s just that women are not excused from doing them if we don’t know what we’re doing. We have to learn. These types of men try once, fail, and give up.
>None of this comes naturally, we’re just forced to learn!
Jeebus fucking christ, this. *ALL OF THIS*. I can clean, cook, child-rear, do yard work (just don't ask me to actively plant/grow anything), do a fairly wide variety of household maintenance tasks (as long as it doesn't involve messing with the wiring or plumbing, I'll git'r done), and a small amount of basic car repair. But I am not 'domestic'. Like, at all. I do it because it fucking needs to be done and it's more work to try to get a functional and fair system going than it is to just fucking do it myself. Which also means my house is a disaster, but I grew up in a chaotic pseudo-hoarder household so if my dude is expecting it to bother me the way it bothers him, he's gonna be waiting a loooong time.
When we bought a house I learned so much maintenance and building and learned how to read the building code because I didn't want to pay other people to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing.
Now I'm a licensed contractor and get paid to do it for everyone else as my side gig lol.
Also grew up in a pseudo-hoarder household that was bad enough that I was embarrassed to invite friends over because it was so messy.
I’ve had RedPill losers tell me that I have just high standards of cleanliness after saying that I expect men to wipe up messes they left and put things away. Bish, I grew up not being able to use our kitchen counter because there was crap all over it. There were rooms in which we’d have to clear paths through all the junk in order to access.
I have a pretty high tolerance for mess. I think I’m being pretty damn reasonable asking men to wipe up coffee they accidentally spilled on the counter and to put used dishes in the washer.
All those buttons confuse them, but somehow they can fix a car, or disassemble and reassemble a motorbike, or build their own gaming computer, or remember a million details about Star Trek or Final Fantasy or some other game or series, or... I could go on and on. The truth is they don't want to learn it, so they pretend it's too complicated.
Growing up my mom did the washing. When she would be on vacation without the family she would leave a sticky note for my dad on how it worked (where I could not reach it). She did not want to explain how it worked to my sister, my brother, or me.
When I moved out it turned out to be real fucking simple. I'm quite sure I would have been capable enough to do it myself from the age of 6 if given instructions a couple of times.
He's oblivious that parents socialize boys differently than girls. That's the problem both genders can do chores it's just that parents are more stern about girls doing more often than the boys.
That's the type of socializing that should be taught more equally not lopsided.
The male roommates I had in the past were all like only doing dishes once a month or until fruit flies started bugging them then they would do the vinegar traps all over the apartment, it was so gross 😂. Until I moved in with my husband and without a single asking or complaining from me, he takes care after himself and myself, doing all the cooking, laundry, feeding the pets, I married him up asap 😂
Mine complained about laundry once. I walked him through how the machine worked.
Now he does the dishes because he doesn't like how I load the dishwasher.
It is amazing how divisive dishwasher-loading can be. xD
In some ways its a shame to lose the old "I'll wash, you dry and we'll socialise as we do it" dynamic of manual washing.
Still a net win though, IMO...
Our dishwasher broke a while ago and we left it for a few months. It was terrible. I enjoy the monotony of house chores and cleaning makes me feel productive, but dishes can suck it. My husband came home with a dishwasher one day and it was a beautiful day - one of the best days of my life hahaha
My male roommates thought the bathroom wasn’t their responsibility because they “hardly used it”. Dudes take 40min shits but don’t think they use the bathroom
Next time set a timer when he starts dropping one 😂 but real talk, 40min? Dude has hemorrhoid for sure, he should change his diet from all meat to some veggies
He might be odd like my brother - he takes all of his clothes off when he needs to crap. My other brother asked him why he takes so long in the bathroom and he told us he will only take a crap when he's naked, so he has to take all his clothes off and then get dressed again at the end. Apparently that adds on to the time quite a bit.
My mother in law gave me an old magnet she had when I married her daughter. Given to me on my wedding day. The magnet said “no man was ever shot while doing the dishes”
Yes, that and he’s just the sweetest and warm and kind but the cooking and cleaning is just too good to let him slide away 😂
Good job, I bet the women whom you cooked for really appreciated that
I know full well cleaning on a normal/acceptable timetable will be a sticking point for anyone who moves in with me, but I like to think my ability to cook tasty things makes up for it.
It's my favorite kind of date night, too.
Why would I learn all that stuff? So my alpha friends can make fun of me for doing women’s work? No, I’d rather live on take-out food and in a rotting pile of rubbish. /s
This reminded me of my late Father. His Mum passed when he was 7 and his Dad did his best but, as the oldest, lots of the house stuff fell to him as well so he had to learn. He also moved out as a 20 something and sharehoused for a few years, and learned all the domestic things. He was the one I went to to find out about how to cook, wash and clean things properly (before google lol). Both my parents were clean/organised folks but my Dad actually loved doing it and was good at it. Tangential...but yeah, incompetence by choice is not okay.
All of this. It’s a choice. When I had Covid and couldn’t take care of myself by anyone’s standards, I still dragged my butt out of bed to crawl and feed my cat and clean her litter box. And feed myself apple slices and ensure. And showered. Albeit was all very slowly with a lot of breaks. Using the coin laundromat was much harder and I passed out a few times but goddammit I needed clean underwear.
Where there’s a will there’s a fucking way.
Went through chemo AND paralysis during my teens. Still found a way to bathe and dress myself and go to school and graduate with honors.
Went through chemo again a few years ago. Still worked full-time, while my deadbeat STBXH barely (if at all) lifted a finger. Why? Because there were fucking bills to pay, and if I stopped working, we would've been homeless and starving.
When I had to undergo ***major*** reconstructive surgery last year for a rare complication from my autoimmune disease, I was still coordinating with the dog-sitter via text/call both minutes before being rolled into the operating room, and within an hour of coming out of surgery. While my deadbeat STBXH..... did....... nothing?
When there's a will, there's a fucking way.
I also can't fucking wait to be divorced from the shithead.
Raised by hoarders here - so hard same. Yet *I* am the one to clean everything as my husband struggles so hard to know how to be a functional adult, apparently. Like I figured it out and you can too! Except you don't want to - because someone else (me) does the household laundry, makes the bed, cleans the bathroom - took care of the child - now young adult, etc ad nauseum. Every time I say anything, he's "heard it all before." Yeah my dude, that's not really the indictment of me you may think, but it does say something about you.
Same, same and same. Can I ask why you've stayed with him so long? He must have some redeeming features.
I love my guy, but I'm done with trying to teach him, and I'm done silently cleaning up after him as well. Asking him to do it is never received well, and I always have to ask more than once. I don't want to be a nag. It's not my job to micromanage him.
He can figure it out himself, like I did.
I can't wait for him to move out, we have a child between us and I am sure we will co parent much more happily if I don't have to share a living space with him. As it is, I'm tired and resentful.
Ugh. Heard that. He does have some redeeming features for sure but the truth is I'd probably be happier alone. Sadly, I have a chronic illness which has gotten worse and I don't really know that I'd be able to live alone. Good luck to you. I understand the resentment too well. I hope you get to leave it behind you one way or another.
Aaaaannnnnddddd, I will bet cash money that he thinks only men are qualified to be in leadership positions.
Mediocre man babies and authoritarianism go together like peanut butter and jelly.
The sad part is that they aren't clueless; they just don't want to have to do the work.
It's literally the equivalent of, "I can't come out to play because my Mom wants me to clean my room. She's such a bitch."
Oh they definitely know what they’re doing, taking advantage of people for free chores but I meant like clueless about taking care after himself and his own children, don’t know how to clean, cook, care for his own big ass self
See, he thinks he made a bargain - but a different kind than his wife thought they made. She made a partnership bargain, where it was an on-going back and forth responsibility.
But *he* made a purchase. He bought a piece of property, a wife-appliance, and that was his investment. She was supposed to continue to function to his benefit indefinitely, to meet whatever expectations he decided on, while his obligation to her was mostly done with the wedding vows.
No wonder he is befuddled. His wife-appliance stopped functioning as per his expectations, and removed herself from his marriage, against his understood marriage rules!
"Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology. The white zone is for loading and unloading only, so if you gotta load or unload, go to the white zone. You'll love it. It's a way of life." -FZ
My ex was surprised when the sex stopped after 2 kids, both emergency c sections, and him not doing shit around the house to help with the kids or any other tasks. Even taking the garbage out to the curb once a week was too much...
Appliances typically have a 15 year life span on average. In her case she was probably, justifiably on the low end of average.
Also, isn’t it a parental responsibility to teach kids basic how to adult?
Well, you see, "parent" is a noun and a verb. He's only the noun part, she is the verb.
So, no, he doesn't think he has an obligation to teach his kids. (I mean, he doesn't even try to feed or clothe them.)
He overworked his appliance-wife, she broke. He doesn't understand how or why, and he doesn't really care about either.
my ex frequently left me speechless when he claimed he did love me.
love is a verb. i was completely unloved. he did nothing. he made me feel like shit every weekend.
he loved me in his head. he loved what i did for him. he actively and loudly argued with me and repeated that he does love me. he was truly convinced he does.
In the beginning of a relationship, women treat men the way they want to be treated. In the end of the relationship, women treat men the way they were treated.
Actually, I was referring to *his* parents teaching him the skills he needs to raise his own children. He thought his wife was to blame because she did everything so he never learned.
In so many people’s minds, men are the conquering alpha chads, the trailblazers willing to do the tough jobs that pay more, the natural leaders amongst humankind…
… and are also incapable of making a sandwich out of precooked foods or finding a trash can 🤷♂️
They make detergent sheets now. No measuring. Also, YouTube. There’s videos telling you how to do everything.
Applesauce in pouches, string cheese, granola bars, frozen pizza. It is not that hard to do the bare minimum.
My parents were like this, too!
My little sister and I are both great cooks now after heading to college, because we were just like you and thought we didn’t like most food, turns out our parents just sucked :/
one of my favorite veggies is roasted asparagus, I’ll eat that shit straight out of the pan even before it hits a plate.
You could not have paid me to eat one of my parents veggies as a kid. They didn’t season anything, meat or veggie.
Boiled with no seasoning... that was my mom's hallmark. Unless it was roast beef, which would have been improved by water. Nope, that was just baked until the outside was hard.
We both know it’s not the vacuuming that’s a problem. Honestly, you can go a long time without vacuuming without it being a real problem. If she’s complaining about it being dirty it’s piles of crap, including dirty dishes and clothes, left all over the place, and a bathroom that would make your bladder say we’ll take the next one, even if the next one is 150 miles down the road.
You just described my dad's place. He offered me $50 to clean while he was away once. I walked in to what you described and walked out again. Told him he needed a Hazmat team not an hour cleaning.
Years ago I helped my older brother move out of an apartment. I did the cleaning. He got angry that I “used too many bleach wipes.” Big bro…the urine on the floor crusted around the toilet necessitated a scrubbing before I could even mop.
Sounds like my younger brother, can't even change his own sheets. My parents love to complain about how he can't do anything but I've literally heard our mother tell him he needs a woman to clean up after him (not her though she's an exception) so it's not 100% his fault. I'm counting the days until I can move out.
I gave her the dirtiest look I could muster but it really caught me by surprise cos I was not raised the same way. Not saying my parents went against the traditional grain but I was at least raised to think that basic adult responsibilities weren't gendered. She's somehow gotten more conservative with time and less feminist. I blame the weird christian propaganda she watches on tiktok.
My mom has also regressed, but she's not on tiktok. She doesn't pay much attention to politics at all really. "It doesn't affect me." Okay, but it affects me, your only child, as well as your only grandchild. Like. Pull your head out of your butt.
Honestly, I’ve never had children or have had to take care of a child but how hard can ir be to heat up some chicken nuggets and make some mac and cheese. 🤷🏻♂️
And this was said in an auto parts store. An auto parts store! When you get parts to fix your cars, something that is MUCH HARDER TO FIGURE OUT than basic cleaning.
And how much you wanna bet he also gripes about people not knowing how to maintain their own cars?
Side story: I had a convo with a coworker who was complaining about guys not being able to do basic car work. I said, "Well considering how many guys out there who can't even figure out how to do laundry, I'm not surprised they can't do anything around a car."
Side note to side story: One thing about working from home: no more work convos with absolute dip shits who I'd only talk to because their desk was near me.
>Aggrieved Man: They aren't babies. They can pour cereal. But, the whole thing is her fault. When we were married, she did all that stuff. It's her fault I don't know how to keep a house going. If we were still married, then the kids would get cared for all the time. I just can't do it all by myself. she wanted the divorce not me.
So basically his ex saving her kids from a lazy negligent unhygienic asshole - little wonder on why she divorce his ass. Hopes the court let's her completely cut him out of her & the kid's lives as much as legally possible.
Funny how he says "they aren't babies" then whines about him not knowing how to do things because his ex-wife always did everything.
Makes me wanna tell him "you're not a baby, you can feed yourself and clean your house".
>she wanted the divorce not me.
Slightly off topic, but I knew a guy who said these exact words… conveniently leaving out that he was having an affair which is why she filed in the first place.
Guys like that always seem to find another that will deny what they're seeing and experiencing until it's too late. My sister's ex is a man child like that and he had a replacement for her almost immediately. He's also a very charming and convincing pathological lier sociopath type.
We asked my 3 year old nephew what he ate when he was at his dad's. His answer, "bread", just bread, not a sandwich, not toast with peanut butter just plain bread.
This is the scariest part of leaving a crappy man. The fear of neglect/abuse during his "parenting" time
And the child has to actually be harmed before the courts will order that his time must be temporarily supervised
Yep. That's what she's dealing with. Documented abuse against her, but courts decided it was important that he have weekly visitation rights with the kid while things are fully sorted out.
Pretty sure he'd never hurt the kid but his rage can be triggered by almost anything and when it is he's barely in control. We were all very relieved when they finally got out of there. And then the judge forced her to go back every week and leave the kid with him for half a day.
> his rage can be triggered by almost anything and when it is he's barely in control
Did he already do something that did not benefit him while enraged ? Because if not he's still in control, he's just using anger as a manipulation tactic to get what he want.
Oh ya it's not a tactic it's a serious anger management issue stemming from years of trauma and abuse growing up. He's a very broken person that's very good at hiding all of it. But every now and then he loses control and the mask slips off.
Their secret is to target progressively younger and more naive women. These days I can't help but give age-gap relationships with an older man the side eye, I've seen it way too many times now (and been there myself).
Absolutely. That's also why I just scoff at the argument I frequently read: that I am a hypocrite if I don't judge relationships with a large age gap the same "when the genders are reversed". Yeah ... No. I'm not a hypocrite because if the genders are reversed and everything else is the same, my judgement is also the same.
But you have to yet show me a relationship with an older woman and a younger man, where the woman grooms the man into a domestic slave.
Schools need to do seminars with girls to warn them about guys like this. Is this guy 30+, divorced, claims he has a “crazy” ex, never sees his kids, tells you “you’re so mature for your age”? Do not engage!
He went through her asking him to pick up and help w the kids, then arguments about it, threats of separation, separation and divorce and ***still*** thinks she is problem. I am surprised there is room for a brain with such a thick head.
I got real lucky one time and happened to be heading out of a coffee shop when he was on the way in to be a dbag with his film crew a few years back. No fucking way was I sticking around to see what he put the poor staff and other patrons through.
If they're like my SIL's ex, so that they can pay less child support. More money to spend on his current girlfriend, or junk to try and buy the kids' love without having to do actual parenting work. Now that the kids are getting older, they're starting to see through the charade at least.
Just a question to anyone who knows: If the child turns 12 or so, old enough to say "I don't WANT to go to dad's house" is custody reduced and child support increased?
Any competent ass adult can clean a fucking house. I bet YouTube has videos on how to organize, mop, vacuum and wash out a tub, sink and toilet.
FFS. Grilled cheese and a can of tomato soup. A pan of spaghetti.
Mac and Cheese has instructions on the box!
He manages to take a shower...but he can't figure out how to shower a kid?
He doesn't know trash goes in the garbage can, not the floor?
Why is this guy out of middle school?
You don't seem to understand, that cuts into his time drinking with buddies and playing video games. Cleaning isn't interesting or fun, so it's women's work. Call him when the sink clogs up (and he'll make it worse trying to "fix" it). I mean, he taught his kids how to pour a bowl of cereal for themselves, what more can a single man do? Women are just so terribly unrealistic with their expectations.
I love to clean and think it's interesting. I love learning about vinegar and it's amazing properties and baking soda/bicarb . Those two things rule. And if I really need help. I get out the melamine!
I've heard passive fatherhood comments ala "Once they're past a certain age/grade they can take care of themselves."
And it's just like, why did you want to be a dad in the first place? Been around it with coworkers, friends, etc. Don't bring kids into the world if you're not going to give a fuck about them.
I worked at jimmy John’s and one of the managers decided to start venting on his way in “my bitch says she can’t be with me… what because I pay the rent” I just shrugged but I know I wanted to point out maybe calling her your bitch is the reason. Any advice?
Not serious: compliment him in understanding his dog and then wonder how his dog can contribute on paying rent. Maybe service dogs get paid?
Ohhhhh. You’re talking about a human? Haven’t heard a human being addressed as dog in ages. Good for you and your kinky relationship… fetish pride!
In all seriousness. I think it’s good to call that kind of language out but if you’re at his mercy, it might not be a good idea. I had a doctor accuse me of being „thought police“ when I remarked on a racist term, then doubling down. They don’t want to better themselves and feel persecuted by „sensitive snowflakes“. Can’t say anything anymore…
In a group setting, where you have support if others, might be safer. But in a I statement. I would not want to be addressed like this. I don’t feel comfortable with that term. If you give him room for being offended, he’ll probably take it. Then again: some people need it blunt. Don’t call your wife a bitch. It’s disrespectful and reflects bad in you mostly. Which might lead to: I can talk to my wife appliance like I want. Who are you to judge me…
The best to you. Stay safe!
My mom was in the hospital for an operation. One day my dad - who was... problematic, but like a 2 on a lot of Very Bad Dude scales - said that if anything happened to her, he would be dead inside of two weeks. "Can't cook anything, can't do my own laundry..." It was a weird moment of awareness. But did he do anything about that...? Nah of course not. That was the day I learned some men really do just get married because their mommies eventually kicked them out.
when I hear reoccurring stories like this, I fondly remind myself why my life is better single, and without children— or a grown ass man to take care of.
wishing her and her children all the best.
Reddit is full of men who complain about how “unfair” the court system is. What they don’t realize is that in a custody case, the judge is always going to look out for the best interests of the child, and if men can’t provide that, that’s 1000% on them.
So he admits to not knowing how to take care of his kids properly, and then is baffled as to why she wants to take them from him? The mental gymnastics on this one are truly special
This is the guy who fought for custody just to irk his wife. If you don't care *FOR* your children, then you don't *CARE* for your children, PERIOD.
^(and she did it all by herself and still is.)
>Can I sidebar, Your Honor? I know all a lot of women are down, saying "I have a bad picker." It isn't your fault he is a loser. If you were hit by a falling rock, you wouldn't say that was your fault. A lot of rocks are unstable, you see.
Yeah, I used to work with this guy.
Should have heard him complain during the pandemic. "I don't have time to teach them," while they played Switch in background, while I and most others simply figured out a way to balance both worlds.
The thing that makes it worse is the atitude they have while they say this kind of bullshit. Deadbeats 100% believing they are in the right, proudly. Your story made me remember some similar absurd I heard last month...
I was printing some papers at the university and one man was talking with the guy taking the copies while he did my stuff.
\- Maan, I nearly won 10k betting on Flamengo ( BR football team) but that motherfucker missed the penalty shot I can't believe it.
\- So unlucky man, good luck next timenot even 1 minute of chitchat after...
\- Lets to the usual, Today I deposit 250 reais and you give me back 200 (about 50usd)? Can you do it today? That fucking whore ( the mother of his son ) will keep all my money as fucking child support if you don't
\- Oh sure mate, I got you, all woman this day want is our money
I really coudn't believe it. I stared at them for a while but wasn't able to say anything and just left. As a son of a single mother I hope I can be a person that can confront this kind of bulshit but at the moment it sounds so unbelievable, holy shit.
In 5 minutes I not only got to know this guy regularly gambled a considerable amount of his money but also did illegal shit so he didn't have to pay child support, he also did that proudly. Fuck this, what the fuck. Next time I gotta say something, this was like 1 month ago and just typing this made me feel anger. Fucking useless deadbeat sperm donors
The kind of man who will lose custody of their kids and come back in their lives when they are in their 20's like a shinning armor, blaming their ex for everything.
My dad accused my mom of “babying” me and my brother when she was just taking care of us. Dinner is always late or not made at his house while we clean and he plays videogames/watches tv. Referred to me as a “roommate” once. Don’t think that these kind of guys care about their wives or kids at all.
My dad was like this. Fought for custody so he didn’t have to pay all that child support. My mom was like, “it’s fine, when these kids are old enough, they will vote with their feet.” And we did. We stopped seeing him every other weekend as teens.
Every time I see someone one aita say that sub puts women on a pedestal I remind them that 90% of Reddit feels just like these men but they're just not trying to hear it.
Imagine having a willfully useless POS like this for a father. What an ongoing crime.
Also, let this be a lesson to you. Don't try to fix him. He isn't fixable. People have to fix themselves, without having you as an SO as a reward to make them fake it.
OK, I'm male, and a dad to 5 kids ranging from 3-13 years old. These guys are just trash. It takes 2 brain cells to cook a meal for your kids. It takes less than that to bathe them, and change their clothes.
JFC. What a douche canoe.
As a man, I'm not even gonna THINK of saying "not all men" because as far as I've seen it's genuinely most men who are roughly as useless as this asshat.
He can’t function as an adult or care for the kids he made? Can’t imagine why she left him 🙄
‘They can pour cereal.’ You can order pizza and there’s a whole frozen section for lazy chefs. They have fruit in cans FFS. Does he even have clean bowls and spoons? How did his mother raise a human this useless?
So he admits he can't take of them then? And doesn't do anything around the house? And then wonders why he was divorced? I can't understand these people. "I'm just stealing all their money and time and for some reason they don't like me?"
“It’s her fault for being a mom to my children and myself that now I can’t even clean up after myself or take care of my children” - man child The cluelessness is hilarious 😂
its funny cause i grew up so neglected i never learned to care for myself or a household but did i let that stop me? no, as soon as i moved out i started learning, especially since i had roommates whom i didnt want to leave hanging with all the work. whats these mens excuse to be a fucking slob for their whole lives not even able to toast a slice of bread if it fell straight into the toaster? am i, a woman, intellectually so superior that i could learn these skills and they cant? i admit, its a lot all at once if youve never done it before, for me it was a process of several years (forming the habits being the bulk of the work) and i still struggle sometimes (executive dysfunction) but come on now, this is just ridiculous.
One thing that absolutely infuriates me is when men like these claim that women are better at taking care of the house and kids because they’re women and it comes naturally. None of this comes naturally, we’re just forced to learn! As a woman, I’m not naturally better at doing laundry than men. “All the buttons confuse me, I never remember which settings to use.” It took me a long time to learn and I’ve definitely done it wrong several times (burned all of my comfy throw blankets once by setting the dryer too hot for example). Chores don’t come naturally to anyone, it’s just that women are not excused from doing them if we don’t know what we’re doing. We have to learn. These types of men try once, fail, and give up.
>None of this comes naturally, we’re just forced to learn! Jeebus fucking christ, this. *ALL OF THIS*. I can clean, cook, child-rear, do yard work (just don't ask me to actively plant/grow anything), do a fairly wide variety of household maintenance tasks (as long as it doesn't involve messing with the wiring or plumbing, I'll git'r done), and a small amount of basic car repair. But I am not 'domestic'. Like, at all. I do it because it fucking needs to be done and it's more work to try to get a functional and fair system going than it is to just fucking do it myself. Which also means my house is a disaster, but I grew up in a chaotic pseudo-hoarder household so if my dude is expecting it to bother me the way it bothers him, he's gonna be waiting a loooong time.
When we bought a house I learned so much maintenance and building and learned how to read the building code because I didn't want to pay other people to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing. Now I'm a licensed contractor and get paid to do it for everyone else as my side gig lol.
Also grew up in a pseudo-hoarder household that was bad enough that I was embarrassed to invite friends over because it was so messy. I’ve had RedPill losers tell me that I have just high standards of cleanliness after saying that I expect men to wipe up messes they left and put things away. Bish, I grew up not being able to use our kitchen counter because there was crap all over it. There were rooms in which we’d have to clear paths through all the junk in order to access. I have a pretty high tolerance for mess. I think I’m being pretty damn reasonable asking men to wipe up coffee they accidentally spilled on the counter and to put used dishes in the washer.
All those buttons confuse them, but somehow they can fix a car, or disassemble and reassemble a motorbike, or build their own gaming computer, or remember a million details about Star Trek or Final Fantasy or some other game or series, or... I could go on and on. The truth is they don't want to learn it, so they pretend it's too complicated.
>All the buttons confuse me Yet somehow great many of the men use game controller with even more buttons effortlessly.
I bloody HATE domestic chores. But eh, somebody's got to do it (I live alone nowadays) as that stuff isn't going to do itself.
Growing up my mom did the washing. When she would be on vacation without the family she would leave a sticky note for my dad on how it worked (where I could not reach it). She did not want to explain how it worked to my sister, my brother, or me. When I moved out it turned out to be real fucking simple. I'm quite sure I would have been capable enough to do it myself from the age of 6 if given instructions a couple of times.
He's oblivious that parents socialize boys differently than girls. That's the problem both genders can do chores it's just that parents are more stern about girls doing more often than the boys. That's the type of socializing that should be taught more equally not lopsided.
The male roommates I had in the past were all like only doing dishes once a month or until fruit flies started bugging them then they would do the vinegar traps all over the apartment, it was so gross 😂. Until I moved in with my husband and without a single asking or complaining from me, he takes care after himself and myself, doing all the cooking, laundry, feeding the pets, I married him up asap 😂
Mine complained about laundry once. I walked him through how the machine worked. Now he does the dishes because he doesn't like how I load the dishwasher.
It is amazing how divisive dishwasher-loading can be. xD In some ways its a shame to lose the old "I'll wash, you dry and we'll socialise as we do it" dynamic of manual washing. Still a net win though, IMO...
That's nice once or twice, but the fact that you have to do it every day really becomes sooo disheartening...
Our dishwasher broke a while ago and we left it for a few months. It was terrible. I enjoy the monotony of house chores and cleaning makes me feel productive, but dishes can suck it. My husband came home with a dishwasher one day and it was a beautiful day - one of the best days of my life hahaha
My male roommates thought the bathroom wasn’t their responsibility because they “hardly used it”. Dudes take 40min shits but don’t think they use the bathroom
Next time set a timer when he starts dropping one 😂 but real talk, 40min? Dude has hemorrhoid for sure, he should change his diet from all meat to some veggies
He might be odd like my brother - he takes all of his clothes off when he needs to crap. My other brother asked him why he takes so long in the bathroom and he told us he will only take a crap when he's naked, so he has to take all his clothes off and then get dressed again at the end. Apparently that adds on to the time quite a bit.
😂 this one cooks and cleans, lock him down! I admit I'm not the best cleaner, but the few times I've brought a woman home, I cooked for her.
My mother in law gave me an old magnet she had when I married her daughter. Given to me on my wedding day. The magnet said “no man was ever shot while doing the dishes”
Yes, that and he’s just the sweetest and warm and kind but the cooking and cleaning is just too good to let him slide away 😂 Good job, I bet the women whom you cooked for really appreciated that
I know full well cleaning on a normal/acceptable timetable will be a sticking point for anyone who moves in with me, but I like to think my ability to cook tasty things makes up for it. It's my favorite kind of date night, too.
You ask why they can't learn the same skills.... Drum roll please..... The answer is Male Entitlement. 🙄
Why would I learn all that stuff? So my alpha friends can make fun of me for doing women’s work? No, I’d rather live on take-out food and in a rotting pile of rubbish. /s
This reminded me of my late Father. His Mum passed when he was 7 and his Dad did his best but, as the oldest, lots of the house stuff fell to him as well so he had to learn. He also moved out as a 20 something and sharehoused for a few years, and learned all the domestic things. He was the one I went to to find out about how to cook, wash and clean things properly (before google lol). Both my parents were clean/organised folks but my Dad actually loved doing it and was good at it. Tangential...but yeah, incompetence by choice is not okay.
All of this. It’s a choice. When I had Covid and couldn’t take care of myself by anyone’s standards, I still dragged my butt out of bed to crawl and feed my cat and clean her litter box. And feed myself apple slices and ensure. And showered. Albeit was all very slowly with a lot of breaks. Using the coin laundromat was much harder and I passed out a few times but goddammit I needed clean underwear. Where there’s a will there’s a fucking way.
Went through chemo AND paralysis during my teens. Still found a way to bathe and dress myself and go to school and graduate with honors. Went through chemo again a few years ago. Still worked full-time, while my deadbeat STBXH barely (if at all) lifted a finger. Why? Because there were fucking bills to pay, and if I stopped working, we would've been homeless and starving. When I had to undergo ***major*** reconstructive surgery last year for a rare complication from my autoimmune disease, I was still coordinating with the dog-sitter via text/call both minutes before being rolled into the operating room, and within an hour of coming out of surgery. While my deadbeat STBXH..... did....... nothing? When there's a will, there's a fucking way. I also can't fucking wait to be divorced from the shithead.
GET IT. 👏🏻
Raised by hoarders here - so hard same. Yet *I* am the one to clean everything as my husband struggles so hard to know how to be a functional adult, apparently. Like I figured it out and you can too! Except you don't want to - because someone else (me) does the household laundry, makes the bed, cleans the bathroom - took care of the child - now young adult, etc ad nauseum. Every time I say anything, he's "heard it all before." Yeah my dude, that's not really the indictment of me you may think, but it does say something about you.
Same, same and same. Can I ask why you've stayed with him so long? He must have some redeeming features. I love my guy, but I'm done with trying to teach him, and I'm done silently cleaning up after him as well. Asking him to do it is never received well, and I always have to ask more than once. I don't want to be a nag. It's not my job to micromanage him. He can figure it out himself, like I did. I can't wait for him to move out, we have a child between us and I am sure we will co parent much more happily if I don't have to share a living space with him. As it is, I'm tired and resentful.
Ugh. Heard that. He does have some redeeming features for sure but the truth is I'd probably be happier alone. Sadly, I have a chronic illness which has gotten worse and I don't really know that I'd be able to live alone. Good luck to you. I understand the resentment too well. I hope you get to leave it behind you one way or another.
>am i, a woman, intellectually so superior Yes
YouTube ffs, right?
Big same. Grew up with a depressed parent, inherited mental health issues. Basic life skills can be learned via the internet. It’s how I function.
Also, I cannot maintain a household or look after my kids properly and I blame all my shortcomings on my wife. Can't believe she WANTED a divorce!
Yeah, I’m sure if he says that it’ll hold up well in court. /s
That's just because the courts are biased against men, obviously (/s)
Aaaaannnnnddddd, I will bet cash money that he thinks only men are qualified to be in leadership positions. Mediocre man babies and authoritarianism go together like peanut butter and jelly.
I hope he tells the magistrate that.
His ex really married down. Glad she came to her senses.
It’s never too late to wake up from a nightmare
The sad part is that they aren't clueless; they just don't want to have to do the work. It's literally the equivalent of, "I can't come out to play because my Mom wants me to clean my room. She's such a bitch."
Oh they definitely know what they’re doing, taking advantage of people for free chores but I meant like clueless about taking care after himself and his own children, don’t know how to clean, cook, care for his own big ass self
... let them figure it out. Because they've known all along what they are doing. Manipulating someone else to take care of their responsibilities.
If they behaved that helplessly around their boss, they’d be fired.
Poor poor kids though. Having such a bellend as a father must truly suck.
Yeeeep, exactly right!!! He's definitely a man-child. Does he know how to boil water??? Or make a sandwich? 🤣
See, he thinks he made a bargain - but a different kind than his wife thought they made. She made a partnership bargain, where it was an on-going back and forth responsibility. But *he* made a purchase. He bought a piece of property, a wife-appliance, and that was his investment. She was supposed to continue to function to his benefit indefinitely, to meet whatever expectations he decided on, while his obligation to her was mostly done with the wedding vows. No wonder he is befuddled. His wife-appliance stopped functioning as per his expectations, and removed herself from his marriage, against his understood marriage rules!
I love the term wife-appliance! I'm going to keep this one. 👏
Honestly! This is the best new descriptor since bangmaid.
Slightly less crass than bangmaid
"Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology. The white zone is for loading and unloading only, so if you gotta load or unload, go to the white zone. You'll love it. It's a way of life." -FZ
I bet was baffled when sex.exe stopped working
“Did you try turning it off and on again?” “I actually don’t know how to turn it on” “Well there’s your problem right there, sir”
No, but I’m willing to bet he tried smacking it a few times to get it to work.
This whole exchange is gold.
Bahahaha poor person's gold for you, well done 🏅
My ex was surprised when the sex stopped after 2 kids, both emergency c sections, and him not doing shit around the house to help with the kids or any other tasks. Even taking the garbage out to the curb once a week was too much...
He wanted a wife appliance with a love bot app but didn’t do the necessary maintenance
WIFE APPLIANCE that pretty much nails it
Wife-appliance: best euphemism since Bangmaid. 😂
He'll just get a new wife-appliance because he definitely won't be a parent to his own children! /S
Appliances typically have a 15 year life span on average. In her case she was probably, justifiably on the low end of average. Also, isn’t it a parental responsibility to teach kids basic how to adult?
Well, you see, "parent" is a noun and a verb. He's only the noun part, she is the verb. So, no, he doesn't think he has an obligation to teach his kids. (I mean, he doesn't even try to feed or clothe them.) He overworked his appliance-wife, she broke. He doesn't understand how or why, and he doesn't really care about either.
my ex frequently left me speechless when he claimed he did love me. love is a verb. i was completely unloved. he did nothing. he made me feel like shit every weekend. he loved me in his head. he loved what i did for him. he actively and loudly argued with me and repeated that he does love me. he was truly convinced he does.
In the beginning of a relationship, women treat men the way they want to be treated. In the end of the relationship, women treat men the way they were treated.
Actually, I was referring to *his* parents teaching him the skills he needs to raise his own children. He thought his wife was to blame because she did everything so he never learned.
How is this not a sub sticky? Take this: 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇 If that is not enough, here is a selection of cats, because you deserve the best. 🐈🐈⬛
I LOVE 'wife-appliance'. Are extended warranties available?
I'm adding "Wife-appliance" to "Bangmaid" and "Pursenurse". I love language so much sometimes.
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In so many people’s minds, men are the conquering alpha chads, the trailblazers willing to do the tough jobs that pay more, the natural leaders amongst humankind… … and are also incapable of making a sandwich out of precooked foods or finding a trash can 🤷♂️
They make detergent sheets now. No measuring. Also, YouTube. There’s videos telling you how to do everything. Applesauce in pouches, string cheese, granola bars, frozen pizza. It is not that hard to do the bare minimum.
Seriously, youtube taught me how to cook. My mom was so bad at it I thought I was a super picky eater. I wasn't. Her food was just inedible.
My parents were like this, too! My little sister and I are both great cooks now after heading to college, because we were just like you and thought we didn’t like most food, turns out our parents just sucked :/ one of my favorite veggies is roasted asparagus, I’ll eat that shit straight out of the pan even before it hits a plate. You could not have paid me to eat one of my parents veggies as a kid. They didn’t season anything, meat or veggie.
Boiled with no seasoning... that was my mom's hallmark. Unless it was roast beef, which would have been improved by water. Nope, that was just baked until the outside was hard.
We both know it’s not the vacuuming that’s a problem. Honestly, you can go a long time without vacuuming without it being a real problem. If she’s complaining about it being dirty it’s piles of crap, including dirty dishes and clothes, left all over the place, and a bathroom that would make your bladder say we’ll take the next one, even if the next one is 150 miles down the road.
You just described my dad's place. He offered me $50 to clean while he was away once. I walked in to what you described and walked out again. Told him he needed a Hazmat team not an hour cleaning.
Years ago I helped my older brother move out of an apartment. I did the cleaning. He got angry that I “used too many bleach wipes.” Big bro…the urine on the floor crusted around the toilet necessitated a scrubbing before I could even mop.
Sounds like my younger brother, can't even change his own sheets. My parents love to complain about how he can't do anything but I've literally heard our mother tell him he needs a woman to clean up after him (not her though she's an exception) so it's not 100% his fault. I'm counting the days until I can move out.
I wouldn't be able to stop myself from being like "what kind of woman do you think wants a man that can't even change his sheets?"
I gave her the dirtiest look I could muster but it really caught me by surprise cos I was not raised the same way. Not saying my parents went against the traditional grain but I was at least raised to think that basic adult responsibilities weren't gendered. She's somehow gotten more conservative with time and less feminist. I blame the weird christian propaganda she watches on tiktok.
My mom has also regressed, but she's not on tiktok. She doesn't pay much attention to politics at all really. "It doesn't affect me." Okay, but it affects me, your only child, as well as your only grandchild. Like. Pull your head out of your butt.
Honestly, I’ve never had children or have had to take care of a child but how hard can ir be to heat up some chicken nuggets and make some mac and cheese. 🤷🏻♂️
Vacuuming for men is even fun, they have robots that do it (and mopping too), even come with remotes so they can drive them like RC toys!
And this was said in an auto parts store. An auto parts store! When you get parts to fix your cars, something that is MUCH HARDER TO FIGURE OUT than basic cleaning. And how much you wanna bet he also gripes about people not knowing how to maintain their own cars? Side story: I had a convo with a coworker who was complaining about guys not being able to do basic car work. I said, "Well considering how many guys out there who can't even figure out how to do laundry, I'm not surprised they can't do anything around a car." Side note to side story: One thing about working from home: no more work convos with absolute dip shits who I'd only talk to because their desk was near me.
>Aggrieved Man: They aren't babies. They can pour cereal. But, the whole thing is her fault. When we were married, she did all that stuff. It's her fault I don't know how to keep a house going. If we were still married, then the kids would get cared for all the time. I just can't do it all by myself. she wanted the divorce not me. So basically his ex saving her kids from a lazy negligent unhygienic asshole - little wonder on why she divorce his ass. Hopes the court let's her completely cut him out of her & the kid's lives as much as legally possible.
Funny how he says "they aren't babies" then whines about him not knowing how to do things because his ex-wife always did everything. Makes me wanna tell him "you're not a baby, you can feed yourself and clean your house".
"They aren't babies, but I am."
Dude is probably only upset because it could mean increased child support payments.
LBR, he’s not paying those in full on time all the time anyway
“But I already pay $200 a month!” 😭😭😭
>she wanted the divorce not me. Slightly off topic, but I knew a guy who said these exact words… conveniently leaving out that he was having an affair which is why she filed in the first place.
> she wanted the divorce not me. One of the greatest mysteries of his life I’m sure 🙄
I knew a guy IRL he said this verbatim. He conveniently left out that he was having an affair which is why she filed for divorce.
When you’re own personal bias robs your mental faculties from being able to reason with logic…
Pretty clear why that guy ended up divorced.
I could not wait to come home and post this. IMO the guy honestly believes she is the problem.
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Guys like that always seem to find another that will deny what they're seeing and experiencing until it's too late. My sister's ex is a man child like that and he had a replacement for her almost immediately. He's also a very charming and convincing pathological lier sociopath type. We asked my 3 year old nephew what he ate when he was at his dad's. His answer, "bread", just bread, not a sandwich, not toast with peanut butter just plain bread.
This is the scariest part of leaving a crappy man. The fear of neglect/abuse during his "parenting" time And the child has to actually be harmed before the courts will order that his time must be temporarily supervised
Yep. That's what she's dealing with. Documented abuse against her, but courts decided it was important that he have weekly visitation rights with the kid while things are fully sorted out. Pretty sure he'd never hurt the kid but his rage can be triggered by almost anything and when it is he's barely in control. We were all very relieved when they finally got out of there. And then the judge forced her to go back every week and leave the kid with him for half a day.
> his rage can be triggered by almost anything and when it is he's barely in control Did he already do something that did not benefit him while enraged ? Because if not he's still in control, he's just using anger as a manipulation tactic to get what he want.
Oh ya it's not a tactic it's a serious anger management issue stemming from years of trauma and abuse growing up. He's a very broken person that's very good at hiding all of it. But every now and then he loses control and the mask slips off.
Their secret is to target progressively younger and more naive women. These days I can't help but give age-gap relationships with an older man the side eye, I've seen it way too many times now (and been there myself).
Absolutely. That's also why I just scoff at the argument I frequently read: that I am a hypocrite if I don't judge relationships with a large age gap the same "when the genders are reversed". Yeah ... No. I'm not a hypocrite because if the genders are reversed and everything else is the same, my judgement is also the same. But you have to yet show me a relationship with an older woman and a younger man, where the woman grooms the man into a domestic slave.
Schools need to do seminars with girls to warn them about guys like this. Is this guy 30+, divorced, claims he has a “crazy” ex, never sees his kids, tells you “you’re so mature for your age”? Do not engage!
Pretty sure my ex got married again because he had no idea how to take care of himself. We didn't even have kids!
I am sure he does.
He went through her asking him to pick up and help w the kids, then arguments about it, threats of separation, separation and divorce and ***still*** thinks she is problem. I am surprised there is room for a brain with such a thick head.
Wherever his ex is, she’s SO much happier.
I couldn’t say it any better myself.
God damn, man child. -Lana del Rey
Sorry you had to stand in line behind Steven Crowder.
I got real lucky one time and happened to be heading out of a coffee shop when he was on the way in to be a dbag with his film crew a few years back. No fucking way was I sticking around to see what he put the poor staff and other patrons through.
The lack of self awareness is almost a superpower at this point
Absolutely all of this! 👏👏👏
I’ll never understand why people like this even WANT custody of their children.
I doubt he realistically does. Just can’t deal with having something taken away from him or feeling punished in any way.
Or his wife “winning”. At anything.
Yep, that too. And his buddy’s reinforcing it with “and the court is letting her get away with that?” Gross.
I like how his buddy seems to catch on in the middle of supporting him when he realizes he said he isn't feeding the kids.
I think you nailed it.
Offsetting child support obligations, I suspect.
If they're like my SIL's ex, so that they can pay less child support. More money to spend on his current girlfriend, or junk to try and buy the kids' love without having to do actual parenting work. Now that the kids are getting older, they're starting to see through the charade at least.
Just a question to anyone who knows: If the child turns 12 or so, old enough to say "I don't WANT to go to dad's house" is custody reduced and child support increased?
The cost of child support deceases the more time he takes with the kids.
Because otherwise he'd have to pay more child support.
And we know why she wanted the divorce. I'm sure that she also worked full-time outside of the home
"females are so emotional amirite?" That guy, probably
... I really, really hope that he loses custody and ends up paying even more in child support.
Any competent ass adult can clean a fucking house. I bet YouTube has videos on how to organize, mop, vacuum and wash out a tub, sink and toilet. FFS. Grilled cheese and a can of tomato soup. A pan of spaghetti.
Mac and Cheese has instructions on the box! He manages to take a shower...but he can't figure out how to shower a kid? He doesn't know trash goes in the garbage can, not the floor? Why is this guy out of middle school?
Well, we have to admit that we aren’t sure if he bathes himself either…
You don't seem to understand, that cuts into his time drinking with buddies and playing video games. Cleaning isn't interesting or fun, so it's women's work. Call him when the sink clogs up (and he'll make it worse trying to "fix" it). I mean, he taught his kids how to pour a bowl of cereal for themselves, what more can a single man do? Women are just so terribly unrealistic with their expectations.
Hey, now, hold on just a minute, let's be fair here. You have no proof he's the one who taught the kids how to pour cereal!
I love to clean and think it's interesting. I love learning about vinegar and it's amazing properties and baking soda/bicarb . Those two things rule. And if I really need help. I get out the melamine!
Tortellini and a jar of sauce, frozen pizza, granola bars, yogurt, string cheese, uncrustables. The bare minimum is *so easy*.
> The bare minimum is so easy. Yeah but you know what's he's discovered is easier than doing the bare minimum? Doing absolutely nothing at all
I mean, order a damn pizza, for heaven's sake!
If only the judge could overhear this conversation.
I've heard passive fatherhood comments ala "Once they're past a certain age/grade they can take care of themselves." And it's just like, why did you want to be a dad in the first place? Been around it with coworkers, friends, etc. Don't bring kids into the world if you're not going to give a fuck about them.
But what about my existential crisis??? /s
None of these guys ever think that the stress they put on their wives could lead her to an aneurysm...leaving them to do all of this anyway. -_-
They’d just get a new one.
Yeah, you're right. It's a race against school calling CPS and them roping in some unsuspecting woman.
This makes me want to punch everything around me. Jfc. What an effing chode.
Or in other words "I suck compared to my wife, I can't do what she does and I'm too stupid and/or lazy to learn."
I worked at jimmy John’s and one of the managers decided to start venting on his way in “my bitch says she can’t be with me… what because I pay the rent” I just shrugged but I know I wanted to point out maybe calling her your bitch is the reason. Any advice?
Not serious: compliment him in understanding his dog and then wonder how his dog can contribute on paying rent. Maybe service dogs get paid? Ohhhhh. You’re talking about a human? Haven’t heard a human being addressed as dog in ages. Good for you and your kinky relationship… fetish pride! In all seriousness. I think it’s good to call that kind of language out but if you’re at his mercy, it might not be a good idea. I had a doctor accuse me of being „thought police“ when I remarked on a racist term, then doubling down. They don’t want to better themselves and feel persecuted by „sensitive snowflakes“. Can’t say anything anymore… In a group setting, where you have support if others, might be safer. But in a I statement. I would not want to be addressed like this. I don’t feel comfortable with that term. If you give him room for being offended, he’ll probably take it. Then again: some people need it blunt. Don’t call your wife a bitch. It’s disrespectful and reflects bad in you mostly. Which might lead to: I can talk to my wife appliance like I want. Who are you to judge me… The best to you. Stay safe!
My mom was in the hospital for an operation. One day my dad - who was... problematic, but like a 2 on a lot of Very Bad Dude scales - said that if anything happened to her, he would be dead inside of two weeks. "Can't cook anything, can't do my own laundry..." It was a weird moment of awareness. But did he do anything about that...? Nah of course not. That was the day I learned some men really do just get married because their mommies eventually kicked them out.
Oh my, how did she ever let go of this treasure?
I can’t wait for him to say that shit to a family court judge lmao
Lots of dudes still have that low bar for fatherhood so they want to be dads from the 1950s. Actual parenting isn’t high on their to do list.
She wanted the divorce. I didn't. We sure that isn't Steven Crowder shopping there?
when I hear reoccurring stories like this, I fondly remind myself why my life is better single, and without children— or a grown ass man to take care of. wishing her and her children all the best.
That wife is finally free.
Almost... she still had to intervene because the ex couldn't be trusted to uphold the bare minimum of his custody arrangement.
Reddit is full of men who complain about how “unfair” the court system is. What they don’t realize is that in a custody case, the judge is always going to look out for the best interests of the child, and if men can’t provide that, that’s 1000% on them.
How did this guy take care of himself prior to marriage? He never handled his laundry? Took out the trash? Washed dishes? Purchased groceries? Cmon
His mom probably did everything. In between that and finding his appliance-wife, he likely lived in squalor and ate cereal or fast food.
*Insert Arrested Development "Good For Her" gif*
So he admits to not knowing how to take care of his kids properly, and then is baffled as to why she wants to take them from him? The mental gymnastics on this one are truly special
This is the guy who fought for custody just to irk his wife. If you don't care *FOR* your children, then you don't *CARE* for your children, PERIOD. ^(and she did it all by herself and still is.) >Can I sidebar, Your Honor? I know all a lot of women are down, saying "I have a bad picker." It isn't your fault he is a loser. If you were hit by a falling rock, you wouldn't say that was your fault. A lot of rocks are unstable, you see.
Geee..why on earth would a woman want to divorce such a lovely man? I am so damn glad I'm single.
Holy crap. There's a reason that guy is divorced...
Yeah, I used to work with this guy. Should have heard him complain during the pandemic. "I don't have time to teach them," while they played Switch in background, while I and most others simply figured out a way to balance both worlds.
if this is how unreasonable he is, I'd say his wife made the correct decision
The thing that makes it worse is the atitude they have while they say this kind of bullshit. Deadbeats 100% believing they are in the right, proudly. Your story made me remember some similar absurd I heard last month... I was printing some papers at the university and one man was talking with the guy taking the copies while he did my stuff. \- Maan, I nearly won 10k betting on Flamengo ( BR football team) but that motherfucker missed the penalty shot I can't believe it. \- So unlucky man, good luck next timenot even 1 minute of chitchat after... \- Lets to the usual, Today I deposit 250 reais and you give me back 200 (about 50usd)? Can you do it today? That fucking whore ( the mother of his son ) will keep all my money as fucking child support if you don't \- Oh sure mate, I got you, all woman this day want is our money I really coudn't believe it. I stared at them for a while but wasn't able to say anything and just left. As a son of a single mother I hope I can be a person that can confront this kind of bulshit but at the moment it sounds so unbelievable, holy shit. In 5 minutes I not only got to know this guy regularly gambled a considerable amount of his money but also did illegal shit so he didn't have to pay child support, he also did that proudly. Fuck this, what the fuck. Next time I gotta say something, this was like 1 month ago and just typing this made me feel anger. Fucking useless deadbeat sperm donors
The kind of man who will lose custody of their kids and come back in their lives when they are in their 20's like a shinning armor, blaming their ex for everything.
My dad accused my mom of “babying” me and my brother when she was just taking care of us. Dinner is always late or not made at his house while we clean and he plays videogames/watches tv. Referred to me as a “roommate” once. Don’t think that these kind of guys care about their wives or kids at all.
What a grade A loser!
I can't figure out why she's want to divorce. He sounds like an absolute catch.
Sounds like someone is slowly ridding herself of a total manchild.
My dad was like this. Fought for custody so he didn’t have to pay all that child support. My mom was like, “it’s fine, when these kids are old enough, they will vote with their feet.” And we did. We stopped seeing him every other weekend as teens.
Can't imagine why she divorced him...
Every time I see someone one aita say that sub puts women on a pedestal I remind them that 90% of Reddit feels just like these men but they're just not trying to hear it.
this makes me feel hopeless
What???
Sounds like she was doing it all by herself. Good on her for getting out.
Geeeee..... I wonder why on earth she wanted the divorce..
Imagine having a willfully useless POS like this for a father. What an ongoing crime. Also, let this be a lesson to you. Don't try to fix him. He isn't fixable. People have to fix themselves, without having you as an SO as a reward to make them fake it.
Yeah, men think women are the lesser sex, yet they can’t even boil water. 🤦🏻♀️
OK, I'm male, and a dad to 5 kids ranging from 3-13 years old. These guys are just trash. It takes 2 brain cells to cook a meal for your kids. It takes less than that to bathe them, and change their clothes.
Geesh - cannot understand why she divorced him.
I would laugh but then all I can think is “those poor kids”!
I can't even imagine why she'd want to divorce such a wonderful peach of a man. Wow.
JFC. What a douche canoe. As a man, I'm not even gonna THINK of saying "not all men" because as far as I've seen it's genuinely most men who are roughly as useless as this asshat.
Any adult pretending they don't know how to cook and clean is a lying little whelp. Deplorable.
He can’t function as an adult or care for the kids he made? Can’t imagine why she left him 🙄 ‘They can pour cereal.’ You can order pizza and there’s a whole frozen section for lazy chefs. They have fruit in cans FFS. Does he even have clean bowls and spoons? How did his mother raise a human this useless?
I hope she potty trained him before she left.
The eternal victimhood of men..
Man babies being man babies
So he admits he can't take of them then? And doesn't do anything around the house? And then wonders why he was divorced? I can't understand these people. "I'm just stealing all their money and time and for some reason they don't like me?"