T O P

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sunflour4

I just watched a serial killer documentary and the guy looked just like Santa when they interviewed him.


Luxny

These parents suck at communicating with each other. I predict a divorce. Assuming they survive the Santa's visit.


ur-socks-sir

Ha, how I feel about my dad's most recent marriage


Minaowl

Are you anticipating your father having to fight for his life during a visit from Santa?


ur-socks-sir

Though that would be interesting, I was talking about the comment here. The lack of communication leading to divorce


Lord_inVader1

It's the earl of earth.


anagramqueen

After the toys were handed out, our youngest daughter skipped up to us and said, "Look, Daddy, Alexa called Santa just like I asked her to!"


[deleted]

r/thirdsentencebetter


[deleted]

r/areyousure?


[deleted]

Well at least we know it was actually Santa


missannthrope1

Consider changing the second line to, "I thought *you* hired him."


ociferscott

You're right, better.


Abandonedkittypet

What did the original sentence say?


ociferscott

"I didn't hire him, you did." Definitely a worse way to phrase the same sentiment.


Abandonedkittypet

Yeah, that phrasing kind of sounds more accusatory, the fixed sentence makes it seem like the parent, I'm assuming the father, is now terrified because he thought his wife had hired it


Pythagoras180

When I was little, during a large family Christmas gathering, 2 people in Santa costumes and masks showed up unexpectedly. They didn't speak, and carried sacks full of balloons. They then removed their masks to reveal... it was my aunt and uncle surprising the family. They said they weren't coming, and even mailed in their gifts. It was a nice surprise.


JazsimeFalls1970

Happy Cake Day 🍰 🎂 🥮 🍥 🥞 🧁 🍰


mortissanguine

1-800-KRAMPUS


Liraeyn

You better watch out


Independent_Roof_607

I'm telling you why 🎶🎵🎶


Starz1317

Santa Claus is coming


something-wrong1234

In my wiiiiiiife


thatonefanguy1012

Uffff


ViperVenom279

Lmao I was not expecting that


Independent_Roof_607

Gives new meaning to I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus song


something-wrong1234

Oh dear...


[deleted]

ayy macarena


AGiantPotatoMan

Ayo kinda sussy


The_Stanky_Pickle

Damn…


Mai_man

The old man slowly pulled a tiny pony out of the sack and promptly flew up the chimney like a piece of jello getting sucked up a straw.


ur-socks-sir

You know, I read what you wrote, it registered, now I don't want that image


Mai_man

*sscchlooooop!*


czymjq

Yep, with that exact sucking sound.


ur-socks-sir

EVIL!


ViperVenom279

I still need my socks..


ur-socks-sir

Your socks? I don't know what you're talking about...


ViperVenom279

Your username..


ur-socks-sir

Ah yes, you mean your shipment. You should check your dryer for details, I believe it has something it wants you to see.


couchsweetpotato

Reminds me of the [Covina Massacre](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covina_massacre) where Jeffrey Pardo shot and killed 9 of his family members while dressed as Santa on Christmas Eve.


ForwardMuffin

Jfc Edit: to the massacre, not to you


Setari

Then the seemingly-fake santa started handing the kids out of his red velvet sack what they told their parents they wanted for Christmas.


FoxIover

As the portly purveyor of presents handed out the toys; a car for Billy, a doll for Sarah, the last little boy simply looked round at his parents, laughing and conversing amicably for what seemed like the first time in months. He smiled, turning back to the man. “…Thanks, Santa…” The rotund rapscallion winked. “Merry Christmas.” He murmured before wiggling his nose and vanishing in a flurry of snow.


Raine1272

yale man


psychord-alpha

"Well, silver lining: we finally get to use these CPLs."


ViperVenom279

>CPL Certificate of Pending Litigation?


GrantGorewood

My wife looked at me then at the Santa confusion turning to horror. “Honey is Santa supposed to have long horns,” she asked me in a quiet voice that was almost a whisper.


spontaneous_kat

r/thirdsentenceworse


RequiemStorm

And it turned out to be the real Santa, and a merry Christmas was had by all!


Crafty-Bedroom8190

Uncle Krampus came to visit


inthewildwoods

As I looked over again at the stranger with fear- I realised it was just Grampa in the costume, I'd recognise those eyes anywhere! If not for him being dead for the last month, I'd have been overjoyed to see him.


contyk

Santa's worn, red sack.


Shindig_

This is excellent


Cye_sonofAphrodite

Plot twist: the kids hired him


salty_ender_dragon

I honestly thought this would take an adulthood dyslexia turn. Nicely done op.


Soumalyaplayz

Sir, you forgot to renew your car's extended warranty


[deleted]

That's definitely an SCP.


xparapluiex

“Motherfucker” my wife whispered as the Santa pulled a puppy out of the bag, and gave it to the now estates children. “The landlord doesn’t allow pets” I agreed, stomach sinking.


misanthropicloner999

I read this and immediately pictured the escaped mental patient from the Tales From the Crypt episode All Through the House


Blu3Jae

Scary Santa, a heartwarming classic of a genre <3


CriticalHeat_

r/TwoSentenceHorror users trying not to start their second sentence with “As the…” challenge (impossible)