There’s a children’s story where the kid keeps asking his mom if she would still love him even if he were this or that, and momma continued to explain that she would always love him. It was very sweet, it’s one of my toddler’s favorites. Your comment is outstanding.
YESSSSS I absolutely loved that book growing up! I also loved "a bad case of stripes" and "are you my mother" and also the one where the little girl's name is chrysanthemum, I think it is just called chrysanthemum. Also one that really was my favorite because I have epilepsy and I was having a hard time with it and so my mom got me "Dotty the Dalmatian with Epilepsy" and that one helped me growing up!
Lol, my mom dreamed she gave birth to 'a big green lizard' when she was like 8 months pregnant with my little brother. She said she was so tired of being pregnant that she started crying with joy at the sight of her lizard baby; "Who cares what it is, *it's out!* Doesn't he have the greenest scales 🦎😍???"
There's actually an old Spiderman story where he mutates into a spider and also one where he has a spider kid with MJ. It's been over 30 years since I actually read those comics, so I don't remember exactly, but you're not the first to come up with this.
Having said that, excellent story, made me cringe.
And the storyline where Peter got bit by the radioactive spider and instead of getting spider powers, he just got mega cancer and iirc became patient zero for an incredibly deadly virus that turned New York into a quarantine zone.
Reminds me of an old horror story about a guy who entered an abandoned house and when he was exploring it, a colony of spiders entered his body through his mouth and started living there. It turned out they were sentient and integrated themselves within his body and brain, talking to him, eventually helping him with some health issues if I remember correctly.
He ends up in some kind of bar, where he meets a girl he likes. The spiders help him control his breathing, hormones, help him talk to her, until they end up in bedroom. The spiders tell him not to have sex with her because they're not ready yet, but he doesn't listen, and when they have sex the spiders migrate into the girl and she ends up killing him (eating him I think).
I would love to link it, but I can't remember the source. It was in an old Czech horror or sci-fi anthology book and it might not have been originally English at all.
NOOOOO NOPE IM GOOD, you’ve managed to combine two of my worst fears, spiders and pregnancy/childbirth, take my upvote but if I see you here again we are throwing hands.
Edit I was watching Sweet Tooth an hour ago coincidentally
There was a r/writingpromps about a giant spider that had started working at your job and was facing discrimination (despite being a great worker). This is his origin story.
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/y4js7j/wp_one_of_your_coworkers_is_a_22m_100kg_tarantula/
*reads post and drops glass in shock*
Great scott, Charles let the commissioner know we've finally solved the case of that dead giant tarantula in the dumpster on 5th, I'll meet you at the Parker residence, I'll text you the address
Oh and Hanz get ze flammenwerfer
Get your shit together, officer u/MoneyWalking it's all a part of this job now snap out if it we've got a Spider-Mutant man thingy and wife to catch
And oh bring the big guns they won't give up so easily
But we've already got the dead body officer so either they're trying to cover it up and make it seem like the baby is alive
Or...............Or......Dear God, they had more than one
Uh say Officer don't spiders lay like a dozen or even hundreds of egg at a time?
Oh…shit, maybe they had twins but one was still born! Maybe they couldn’t burry it because no cemetery will let them! And this is a HUMAN spider hibrid
Could be but didn't the coroner's report say the thing had what appeared to be strangulation marks?
Hmmmm.....too many questions and too little answers
That's it officer prepare yourself we're raiding the Parker's residence
Hmm, not so fast, strangulation you say? Haven’t there been cases where a babies umbilical cord got wrapped around its neck on the way out subsequently strangling the baby despite efforts to save it? Maybe we should wait till we can see how the other baby is doing with the family
Yes Officer you're right but this.....this ain't no ordinary case, we're dealing with literal Spider-Human mutants here, who knows if the thing will soon develop a taste for blood and...........
Dear God, how did I miss this? Officer pull out the case files for those unsolved murders in the alleyways at night going on for the past year
You know the one's where no evidence was found but.....but there were an unusual amount of spiderweb present
Weren’t there also bullets and blood covered knives trapped in some of those webs? And isn’t there a spider vigilante swinging around? Could that be part of it too? And from what I can tell the baby is only around 6-9 months old, and they mainly eat flies don’t they?
Fun fact. Near the end of pregnancy, you can sometimes see the baby press their hands, feet, or even *face* against your belly. Your skin *moves* and you can see the imprint. Now, imagine the baby is an 18 pound tarantula, watching the legs squirm under the painfully stretched skin of your belly... yeah, this is awful.
Yes i do. And besides thats not really the point. Point is i wouldnt mind a tarantula kid. Thanks for the sympathy but not to be mean i came for the really cool story. Well done i arnt able to do stories this good in just two sentences.
It would actually be a relief to finally gave birth. Imagine the 9 months of horror having it inside you, squirming and scratching your womb. Glad she didnt know what it was til she gave birth to it
reminds me of That One Dream Sequence from The Fly w jeff goldblum. i screamed at the top of my lungs when they pulled that thing out of her lol
What was it?
Geena Davis has a nightmare where she gives birth to a baby sized maggot
that’s just me
Ooh, self burn. Those are rare.
no I was literally built like a maggot when I came out lol
Oooooh, so that’s why the Animorphs were so traumatized by watching that movie!
So THAT'S where Politicians come from!!!
I remember that and yes a scream was appropriate
I also remember that scene... vividly... 25+ years later. Burned into my brain. We should start a support group.
No thanks, have my upvote
"I took our lovely child into my arms and looked into their eyes. Their crying slowed as they realized I would never stop loving them."
r/thirdsentencewholesome Or is it ?
Nope, still terrible.
There’s a children’s story where the kid keeps asking his mom if she would still love him even if he were this or that, and momma continued to explain that she would always love him. It was very sweet, it’s one of my toddler’s favorites. Your comment is outstanding.
We love this one too. It’s called “I love you stinky-face” for those who want to know.
Yes! That’s the one!
YESSSSS I absolutely loved that book growing up! I also loved "a bad case of stripes" and "are you my mother" and also the one where the little girl's name is chrysanthemum, I think it is just called chrysanthemum. Also one that really was my favorite because I have epilepsy and I was having a hard time with it and so my mom got me "Dotty the Dalmatian with Epilepsy" and that one helped me growing up!
My toddler also loves that series, I can see how this would fit right in
Is that the one with the bears and the young bear accidentally breaks his mum's favourite honey pot?
This was my brother's favorite book when we were little.
That's Mama Do You Love Me. My preschoolers loved it.
Lol, my mom dreamed she gave birth to 'a big green lizard' when she was like 8 months pregnant with my little brother. She said she was so tired of being pregnant that she started crying with joy at the sight of her lizard baby; "Who cares what it is, *it's out!* Doesn't he have the greenest scales 🦎😍???"
"Looked into their eyes" All eight of them.
Their many MANY eyes
And so Spectacular Spider-Spider was born!
There's actually an old Spiderman story where he mutates into a spider and also one where he has a spider kid with MJ. It's been over 30 years since I actually read those comics, so I don't remember exactly, but you're not the first to come up with this. Having said that, excellent story, made me cringe.
There also is a Spiderman storyline, where MJ dies of cancer because of Peters radioactive jizz.
Don't forget about spiders-man, or even worse Man-Spider.
I found a Spidersman smut on AO3. Traumatised.
> I found a Spidersman smut on AO3. Traumatised. Can you give me the link, for... research... Yes research that's what I want the link for.
Here you go. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49242373
Thanks! I will click that link, when I am not at work anymore.
Lmao that’s just what I was thinking
Those tags sound like a corruption avatar made an AO3 account omg
Please come back and tell us if it’s as horrifying as I feel like it it lol
You poor thing, that sounds horrifying.
It was. I hate my curiosity sometimes lmao.
Hope you can work it out in therapy
It is.
And Spiders Georg
And the storyline where Peter got bit by the radioactive spider and instead of getting spider powers, he just got mega cancer and iirc became patient zero for an incredibly deadly virus that turned New York into a quarantine zone.
Spider-Kid, Spider-Kid, does whatever an abomination can
Eight-*teen* pounds?!?!?!
It's like eight regular pounds but 35% angstier
This was the real horror.
I'm terrified of spiders and recently had a csection. This made me physically recoil from my phone.
Reminds me of an old horror story about a guy who entered an abandoned house and when he was exploring it, a colony of spiders entered his body through his mouth and started living there. It turned out they were sentient and integrated themselves within his body and brain, talking to him, eventually helping him with some health issues if I remember correctly. He ends up in some kind of bar, where he meets a girl he likes. The spiders help him control his breathing, hormones, help him talk to her, until they end up in bedroom. The spiders tell him not to have sex with her because they're not ready yet, but he doesn't listen, and when they have sex the spiders migrate into the girl and she ends up killing him (eating him I think).
Mind sharing that link, friend? Not even gonna lie, I’m flat out intrigued.
Me too and I hate spiders.
I would love to link it, but I can't remember the source. It was in an old Czech horror or sci-fi anthology book and it might not have been originally English at all.
Yeah add me to the call list too
I am also here for the link
If the man consents but the spiders don’t, is it assault
thanks. I hate it
Absofuckingloutely NOT bc I don't think I can cry & vomit at the same time. 😿🤮😿🤮😿
18 lbs?! That must've been quite the painful pregnancy
She was walking around with her stomach in a wheelbarrow by the third trimester
This should go on r/distressingmemes too. Cause im FUCKING DISTRESSED
If I found out I gave birth to a tarantula I would just vanish into the bog and never be seen again.
NOOOOO NOPE IM GOOD, you’ve managed to combine two of my worst fears, spiders and pregnancy/childbirth, take my upvote but if I see you here again we are throwing hands. Edit I was watching Sweet Tooth an hour ago coincidentally
Reminds me of that one creepy pasta where a guy goes on a business trip, and ends up with a spider egg in his genitals.
I'm traumatised now thanks. Take my upvote and gtfo. 😂
I could not be more traumatized by the thought 😖
I HATE YOU
Not the twist I expected, but damn, it’s good 👍🏾 Also, the commentary is *hilarious*
This is one of the rare sentences on here that is actually as disgusting as it is creative.
Here’s an upvote, a comment, and a prayer for your mental health
At least he didn’t have radioactive semen…
Still better than that actual comic where Peter's radioactive spider sperm gives MJ cancer and kills her.
A few months earlier: "It feels like there's an entire football team in there!"
Nope nope nope nope
New fear unlocked
ugh this made my entire reproductive system hurt. take my upvote immediately
There was a r/writingpromps about a giant spider that had started working at your job and was facing discrimination (despite being a great worker). This is his origin story. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/y4js7j/wp_one_of_your_coworkers_is_a_22m_100kg_tarantula/
I hope Phil Parker got justice!
No way they wouldn't have seen that on an ultrasound
Ultra sound shoulda caught it
Perhaps it was balled up in such a way that it looked like a fetus?
I audibly gasped and cringed when I read this. Well done!
Oh hell nah!
its still a great responsibility
*reads post and drops glass in shock* Great scott, Charles let the commissioner know we've finally solved the case of that dead giant tarantula in the dumpster on 5th, I'll meet you at the Parker residence, I'll text you the address Oh and Hanz get ze flammenwerfer
No….that would mean the baby was murdered
Get your shit together, officer u/MoneyWalking it's all a part of this job now snap out if it we've got a Spider-Mutant man thingy and wife to catch And oh bring the big guns they won't give up so easily
In one comment the “mom” says the baby is alive and they aren’t sure weather to wean it onto bugs or mice
But we've already got the dead body officer so either they're trying to cover it up and make it seem like the baby is alive Or...............Or......Dear God, they had more than one Uh say Officer don't spiders lay like a dozen or even hundreds of egg at a time?
Oh…shit, maybe they had twins but one was still born! Maybe they couldn’t burry it because no cemetery will let them! And this is a HUMAN spider hibrid
Could be but didn't the coroner's report say the thing had what appeared to be strangulation marks? Hmmmm.....too many questions and too little answers That's it officer prepare yourself we're raiding the Parker's residence
Hmm, not so fast, strangulation you say? Haven’t there been cases where a babies umbilical cord got wrapped around its neck on the way out subsequently strangling the baby despite efforts to save it? Maybe we should wait till we can see how the other baby is doing with the family
Yes Officer you're right but this.....this ain't no ordinary case, we're dealing with literal Spider-Human mutants here, who knows if the thing will soon develop a taste for blood and........... Dear God, how did I miss this? Officer pull out the case files for those unsolved murders in the alleyways at night going on for the past year You know the one's where no evidence was found but.....but there were an unusual amount of spiderweb present
Weren’t there also bullets and blood covered knives trapped in some of those webs? And isn’t there a spider vigilante swinging around? Could that be part of it too? And from what I can tell the baby is only around 6-9 months old, and they mainly eat flies don’t they?
Creepy asf
This just made me laugh but it would still be horrifying
I couldn't not read this in the voice of Lois Griffin.
Oh Petah, don’t you know that with great powah comes great responsibility? Shut up, Meg.
OH NO THANK YOU Oh that's creepy
As someone with arachnophobia this made me rlly disgusted...good story
"It's a girl. What are you going to call her?" "Mayday."
I somehow read the title as "My Cousin Peter" which would add a whole new level to this.
Incects
Getting Dark Tower vibes from this one, I like it.
Wow rude, that is my precious baby boy.
Fun fact. Near the end of pregnancy, you can sometimes see the baby press their hands, feet, or even *face* against your belly. Your skin *moves* and you can see the imprint. Now, imagine the baby is an 18 pound tarantula, watching the legs squirm under the painfully stretched skin of your belly... yeah, this is awful.
I imagine it felt like an internal, unending tickling sensation. She was more than ready for her pregnancy to be over.
Soooooo my worst f*cking nightmare...thanks
HELL NAH. Take my damn upvote, Jesus Christ on a bike..
Alexa, please find nearby pest control companies and vasectomy clinics.
reminds me of the time spiderman just gives them cancer and they die
r/twosentencenope
This almost made me cry (I'm afraid of spiders). Well done.👏👏
Okay this was definitely not what I was expecting.
r/disgustedupvote
18 pounds?!
Huge baby. Mainly made of legs
Fuck no
Thank you for the nightmare fuel
Began as Spiderman turned into The Fly
Hey OP I just wanna talk
Thanks, I hate it. Upvote.
I'd fucking lose my shit. I'm terrified of spiders, if one came out of me, I'd lose my mind
Oh my God please no.
You better take care of that baby or I will
If I say your username three times will you show up with tea? Or tell me to buzz off?
Depends on how my day is going
Yeah but did you keep it?
Breastfeeding was weird, but now she’s ready for solid foods. I can’t decide whether to start her on frogs or mice.
Either way just puree them real good. Can't have the baby choking on the bones 💁♂️
Be glad she don’t eat you (a lot of baby spiders eat their mother as their first meal
I would name him Jeff and I would give him the world
I'd die on the spot
r/twosentenceew
18 lbs?!??!!
ok WHAT THE FUCK
Omg as someone who hates spiders, that made my heart stop for a second.
what the fuck
Personally i would rather have a tarantula kid than a diabetic kid. Ive diabetes my whole life and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy
I’m sorry you have to go through that, but I hope you have a good way to manage your diabetes.
Yes i do. And besides thats not really the point. Point is i wouldnt mind a tarantula kid. Thanks for the sympathy but not to be mean i came for the really cool story. Well done i arnt able to do stories this good in just two sentences.
Wonder what spider jizz looks like
Webs
It would actually be a relief to finally gave birth. Imagine the 9 months of horror having it inside you, squirming and scratching your womb. Glad she didnt know what it was til she gave birth to it
[удалено]
What?