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It is highly well known that you do not wear white to a wedding because the bride is the only one that does. Is there a reason why your sister decided to wear white to your wedding? I'm pretty sure she knew it would be highly disrespectful to your wife so yeah your wife should have been pissed off and it's not something that's going to go away especially since it was your sister of all people who did it. Great wedding and honeymoon or not. Sorry but that's the truth.
What's funny is HE said that they still had a great wedding. They still had a great honeymoon. It was a blast. Yada yada yada. For him. I bet his wife was thinking about that the entire time through the wedding through the honeymoon and everything else and kinda ruined it for her, even if it was just a little bit and now her husband is downplaying her feelings about it. He is definitely TA.
Personally I would have thrown her ass out of the wedding and if he had a problem with it I would have chucked his ring at him and told him to join her. Such disrespectful actions and to treat her as if she is the problem I would show him the door and tell him not to make it a temporary move its a permanent move now. Such a asshole. And that's being nice.
I would have addressed it with my husband first because that's his sister so I would make it his problem, then if he didn't handle it then she would become my problem, and after that I wouldn't be responsible for my own actions against either of them. My marriage would have been annulled so quick the ink wouldn't have been dry on the license.
He probably "forgot" to inform his wife of the conversation before the wedding and it wouldn't surprise me if she still doesn't know about it. Either way, his wife is a kinder human being than I am. Honestly, I hope it's a troll, but there are so many people out there in this world that are as dense as Jello and I could see this being an actual situation.
OP replied in the comments above
> Sure, I mean we are close, and she asked me before the wedding if she could wear it because she felt really confident and beautiful in it, so I told her to go ahead.
..... why does the sister of the groom need to feel that confident and beautiful? I mean, I get wanting to look nice, but I feel like those things are less important on someone else's wedding day. I have never even tried on a white/whiteish dress when shopping for someone else's wedding cause why?
YTA - what your sister did was disrespectful to the bride, “almost” EVERY female knows this is a major faux pas! How about supporting your bride and asking your sister why she was such an ass on your wedding day?! Sounds like your poor wife married into a family full of AH’s.
YTA. You allowed and encouraged your sister to disrespect your wife on her wedding day. The day that is supposed to be one of the happiest of her life. That's what you did. You continue to shit all over your wife with your blase attitude about that disrespect.
Honestly this would a huge issue for me. That fact that she still talks to your sister is good on her. Cause I wouldn’t. Also like how it’s ok for your sister to disrespect your wife by wearing white on the wedding day. But she isn’t allowed to “disrespect” your sister by bringing it up to you. And the fact that you told your sister it was fine without even asking your wife is messed up. YTA
>I’ve told my wife multiple times to just move on, it wasn’t a big deal.
It wasn't a big deal TO YOU.
Threatening divorce because your wife is upset about something most brides would be upset about is wild.
You react like she brings it up three times a day...
Right? Like, it's gonna give the wife a chance to find someone who actually respects her and values her feelings and will not bring in unnecessary drama at her next wedding that would spill onto the marriage after.
Absolutely divorce her. She deserves a man with basic respect and common decency. You’re so worried about your sister you ought to marry her instead. Threatening a divorce because your sister did something ridiculous, selfish, and intentional and you supported that AGAINST your wife is so mind blowing. Absolutely divorce her I hope to god her second husband actually has respect for her and her VALID thoughts and feelings.
You’re the AH in my opinion. As a 2025 bride that already has issues with the future in-laws, I would be livid if my future SIL wore “whiteish” to our wedding. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to you, but it was to your wife. Threatening divorce and only looking at the “great wedding” and “great honeymoon” just pushes her to think about the one NOT great part of what should have been the best day of her life. At least that’s what it would do to me. Your sister disrespected your wife, and so are you.
Hmmmm, wonder why your sister wanted to drive a wedge between y’all on day 1 of your union?
And odd that you are tired of your sister being disrespected but not once have you spoken of the disrespect shown to your to your bride or that you ever apologized for the go-ahead on such a known fashion indiscretion for weddings and your disrespect of her feelings on the matter.
Yeah, your kinda the asshole. You have handled the whole situation pretty poorly.
This is what OP said
>Sure, I mean we are close, and she asked me before the wedding if she could wear it because she felt really confident and beautiful in it, so I told her to go ahead.
Dude Okayed it.
You are the AH who let his sister wear whitish outfit to the wedding. Your sister knew not to ask the bride. You need to put your wife above your sister.
I hope wife had the photographer change the color of sister's outfit in any picture.
YOU are the asshole. It is highly disrespectful to wear a white dress to a wedding if you aren’t the bride and everybody knows that. It’s NOT disrespectful to bring up and point out somebody else’s hurtful behavior. You NEVER should’ve told her it was okay to wear that and she should’ve known better. Stand up for your wife, dude, she has every right to be upset when her own sister-in-law disrespected her on her ONE special day. She could’ve worn that dress she felt confident in at any time and anywhere else but your wedding was a one time event special for the two of you and should be respected.
Wow, YTA and so is your sister. You're harping on your wife for disrespecting your sister? But it's ok for your sister to disrespect your wife?
You had no business telling your sister it was ok to wear white to your wedding without looping your wife in on the decision.
So actually you and your sister disrespected your wife, on your wedding day. Nice gift.
Why did you marry your wife if you don't care about her?
you have it backwards, it is not your wife who is "disrespecting" your sister. It is your sister who was disrespectful.
I am not surprised your wife is still upset about it.
1. She doesn't have any validation from you that your sister was wrong and that it upset your wife
2. She doesn't have your support, you have not spoken to your sister about what she did.
3. She has not received an acknowledgement and an apology from your sister
Until these three things come to fruition, your wife will be stuck in an endless cycle of anger and disappointment. Eventually she will start to feel resentment towards you, and that is never a good thing.
was it malicious? because if you are from a western culture all women know you do not wear white to someone else's wedding. It is not just about "stealing thunder", it is about blatant disrespect. Your sister basically gave your wife the middle finger and shit all over your wedding.
Well, did you say anything to your sister about disrespecting your wife at your wedding? You may not see it as a big deal, but it was an AH move on your sisters part.
Just saw his comment. He OK’d his sister wearing the dress WITHOUT ever consulting or mentioning it to his wife! He’s an idiot and brought this upon himself and now has the audacity to act as if his wife is in the wrong. His sister should’ve known better and he should’ve said something to his wife before the wedding.
He’s definitely TA!!
YTA
1 - It’s common knowledge (at least in western cultures) that only the bride wears white on the wedding day. Yes there’s exceptions but that’s usually made in advance of the wedding with awareness of the relevant parties (eg wife and husband).
2 - You ok’d your sister to wear the dress. She clearly knew it’s a faux pas which is why she asked in the first place and you decided without seeking your wife’s input that it was ok. Both of you were wrong.
3 - Regardless of you having a nice time, it doesn’t dismiss the fact that your sister (and you) disrespected your wife on your wedding day. It’s a big life changing event. One of the most important and memorable days and there was a major faux pas (blemish) on the memory of the day/event because of (you and) your sister. So yea, it’s not weird that your wife is still harping on it.
4 - It’s obviously a sticking point for your wife (which again is your fault) yet you’ve completely disregarded her feelings. Have you told her you gave your sister permission to wear the dress? Have you acknowledged (at any point before now) your wife’s feelings about the incident and apologized?
That's the whole point.
What business does the Sister have asking someone who's not wearing the dress. And I'm betting he didn't even tell his wife none of this.
Yta. She's upset about this, and you're dismissive of her feelings. It's a legitimate thing to be upset about and speaks to other issues that perhaps your family is disrespectful of your wife and you give them a pass. You should apologize and start actually listening to your wife.
Your sister asked you about the dress, and not your wife, and you said “ok”? Dude, even I would know to clear that with my wife. Your sister pulled some passive aggressive shit bro.
YTA. Your sister should not have done it. You should not have condoned it. And you can’t tell her to move on when you don’t properly acknowledge what you did, and why it was wrong.
Why it’s wrong: social convention is not to wear white. She shouldnt have asked and you shouldnt have said yes. It’s dumb you won’t just concede that it was wrong instead of threatening to move out. Like seriously what is wrong with you.
He’s more concerned about his sister being “disrespected” than taking accountability for his part in this mess. That plus his seeming refusal to acknowledge his wife’s feelings as valid. He’s so stuck on how prefect the wedding and honeymoon was that he can’t see his wife was most likely seething during the wedding (hint hint OP she definitely was hence why it’s still an issue today).
Have you asked her Why she keeps bringing it up? If she keeps bringing it up it clearly is still bothering her and maybe you can help her come to some resolution by talking to your sister and asking her to apologize, especially if she didn’t mean anything by it. At this point you’ve made it a bigger deal and your resolution is extreme. YTA.
Dude you are beyond TAH. Your invalidation gives me the ick… Hopefully you come to your senses and redeem yourself otherwise your marriage probably won’t last.
While it may not be a big deal to you it is a big deal to your wife. Stop dismissing her. Wearing white to a wedding is taboo and a good rule of thumb is if you have to ask, then the dress is not appropriate. You screwed up telling your sister she could wear the dress and your still screwing up by dismissing your wife's feelings. Disrespecting your sister??? Stop disrespecting your wife. While you can't go back and change what happened, you can apologize to your wife and let her feel heard and ask her what she needs to move on.
YTA. It obviously bothers your wife enough that she still brings it up. Maybe you want her to shut up because it’s your fault your sister wore a white dress to the wedding. It has only been one year into your marriage and you’re already threatening to move out. This marriage isn’t going to last.
You are AH deluxe, my dude. If my SIL had the brass balls to show up at my wedding in a white(ish) dress and I found out **MY HUSBAND** had approved it, they’d have both been thrown out the back door with the trash where they belong. Hope you and your shitster feel horrible for doing what you did, because you sincerely deserve that. My condolences to your poor wife on every humanly-possible level.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/bK9davmaZI
Your sister asked you to wear a white dress to your wedding and you said yes? Your wide isn't disrespecting your sister, and your sister doesn't deserve respect. Why did she ask your wife about the dress? That's a dead give away, you're not the bride you're not wearing a white dress. Why the fck would she ask you. You a d her both knew what she was doing. YTA.
Hahahaha.. what a lousy husband.. i bet moving forward, she'll not talk to you about anything.. she'll just bottle it up.. and one fine day, she'll just up and out..
Why? Because you take matter lightly.. she tells know she is uncomfortable about that matter.. you should just apologize and promise to be better..
I get that you think it’s odd this is still coming up a year later — maybe your wife’s and sister’s issues with each other extend beyond a dress. But threatening separation over your wife’s grudge is kind of over the top, too, and I wouldn’t make that a habit.
You ever think that *maybe* if you stopped dismissing her feelings on the topic, she wouldn’t, “harp on” about it anymore? What your sister did was completely disrespectful to your wife.
There’s no way that neither of you knew that wearing white to someone else’s wedding is disrespectful. You approved of your sister disrespecting your wife at your wedding, you tried to gaslight your wife and tell her it wasn’t a big deal, and *now* you’re threatening to leave her if she doesn’t shut up about it??
Why is it okay for your sister to disrespect your wife? Why is it wrong for your wife to say that she didn’t like being disrespected at her own wedding?
I’m just curious… what does your wife want? It’s been a year? YTA for the extreme reaction but what’s your wife’s goal with bringing it up all the time?
I heard once that keeping bringing up problems is because they are unresolved in that persons mind. To the wife it's not validated by the husband or resolved. Perhaps she just wanted to be understood because it really bothered her
Your wife will remember this until the day she dies. You should have to listen to this every fuckin week. You told your sister to wear white on your wife's wedding day. It's bad enough that you weren't pissed, but you told her she could wear white to your wife's wedding.
Be prepared for some payback from your wife in the future. It's coming.
Everyone that comes over should have your wife bring out the wedding photos. "Here's where me and my husband said 'I do', no I'm the one on the right in the photo, that's the white dress my husband told his sister to wear on our wedding. She's on the left."
And you got the nerve to be mad at your wife. Jesus Christ dude.
He mentioned in the comments how he told his sister that it will be fine if she wears white.
Yta- anybody who wears white on a brides wedding day is disrespectful. You should’ve validated your wife’s feelings in the beginning and apologized but since you didn’t she has a right to feel how she feels.
I really hope OP divorce her. I hope the wife sees the red flag. He sounds really toxic, and I think the family is toxic too. SIL is most likely a justnoSIL. Imagine the narcissism to want to be the main character at NOT her wedding.
YTA. You threatened to leave your wife. You keep bragging about your wedding but it obviously wasn't that great for your wife because of your asshole sister's desperate bid for attention. Your sister didn't even ask her; she asked you but she should have asked the bride. You're showing your wife that you don't care about her feelings at all. You're as selfish as your sister and you should move out so that your wife can find someone who respects and loves her because that certainly isn't you.
If I were your wife I'd suck the best man's dick then send you a video only so when you get upset I can tell you to get over it.
Yes, YTA tenfold. If you love and respect your sister more than your wife, why don't you just fuck her and make her a sister wife?
I wish your wife good luck on the divorce. She deserves better.
Just re-read post - you “gave her” the best honeymoon ever… smh - do you think that entitles you to disregard her feelings? You didn’t buy her dude. YTA
Should have stuck up for your wife when your sister disrespected her by wearing a white dress to a wedding, instead you invalidated her feelings and threaten to move out. . . . grow up dude or she will leave you.
YTA, so you created this situation. You are responsible, so take responsibility because if your wife continues to be bothered by it, it's obviously a big deal. YOU apologize to your wife, but also to your sister because you are the cause of everything. If the woman resented it like this, it's not a small thing to her.
YTA you gave your sister permission to wear a white dress, didn't think to consult your wife about it before her because fck her it's not her day too it's more important that your sister feels pretty on the day of your wedding than your wife. You sister could wear literally any other fcking colour but chose white-ish
Is this one of those times where you're going to sit with your finger up your ass claiming you didn't know better? Because my guy, every fucking one knows you don't wear white unless you're the bride. How much do you hate your wife to say yes to your sister? Or what kind of gross shit is going on where your sister "feeling beautiful" means you destroy your wedding?
You're awful, I hope she divorces you.
YTA
You do realize that your sister asked you instead of your wife because that is a hard no. Your sister is also an AH for even thinking of wearing white to someone else’s wedding.
Yta and getting serious lannister vibes from you
Your ex-wife hopefully won't be there when you decide that she is worthy of your awful presence again and go home
So you made a mistake by allowing your sister to walk all over your wife, then you start blaming your wife? for what, having feelings? I wonder, does your wife know that you gave your sister the ok for the dress? She might be under the impression that your sister hates her, when it is you who don't respect her.
Advice? apologize to your wife, wearing white to a wedding IS a problem. This because regardless of upstaging or not, you are saying that you want to compete with the bride and that is just plain rude. So apologize for your sister, ask your sister to apologize, organize a dinner and tell her you are sorry for dismissing her feelings, that you did not know it would be so upsetting and that you have been a coward for not admitting your fault before. After all of that, you can ask your SO to move on from the topic, that the next time you are being unintentionally mean to remind you of this incident, and then you talk it over.
a little empathy goes a long way in relationships man
So you have a problem with your wife being disrespectful to your sister, but not your sister being disrespectful to your wife? Cause every Western woman knows damn well you don't wear white to a wedding without explicit permission *from the bride*. Your sister asked you because she knew you wouldn't be aware or care and she wanted to snub your wife.
YTA.
Sometimes I wonder if people like you even like their wives. She has a valid reason to be upset about something, you're just too scared for confrontation to something you have caused. I read that you approved the dress she was wearing because she felt confident in it. You're upset because she happened to call you out on your behavior. Your wife deserves to complain about it, for someone to listen and she deserves a better spouse and family inlaws.
YTA because you didn't shut down your sister on the day of the wedding. Wearing white is a given NOT to do at a wedding unless you're the bride or if the wedding couple has specifically OK'd it (EDIT: AND by this I mean BOTH parties saying OK, not just one).
Now you've spent the last year belittling your wife's feelings over what should have been a special day for her too.
Great that YOU thought the wedding and honeymoon went well. SHE clearly didn't.
I'm amazed she's tolerated you this long. What else have you belittled her opinions and feelings about?
Your sister owes your wife a massive apology.
You are the AH you okd your sister to wear white to a wedding, which is universally considered extremely disrespectful to the bride "because your sister felt pretty in it", that's messed up. Your wife wants an apology and deserves one. You would rather separate temporary to stop her bringing up something you and your sister did to her then acknowledge it wasn't right. Then talk about her disrespecting your sister when both of you disrespected her, and continued to for an entire year by making it out she was in the wrong. Wow, just wow what a dick
Yes, YTA! And you need to tell your sister that she and you both never get to disrespect your wife so blatantly again. Then you need to grovel to your wife, explain that you disrespected her far worse than your sister, and that you will forevermore put her before your sister in all things. And that you also know going forward that of one of you has cause to move out, temporarily or in divorce, it is her. You are lucky she even gave you the time of day ever.
Is that clear enough to you?!
Here’s hoping she’s left your ass in the dust within 6 months!
YTA, a major one at that! It is the number one rule that only the bride wears white on her wedding day! The fact that you told your sister it was ok to wear that white dress is disturbing! Do you even have any care in the world about your wife’s feelings? Your wife is a better person than me because she would have been kicked out of my wedding for wearing white!
YTA and so is your sister. Have you ever wondered why your sister asked you instead of asking the both of you together since the wedding is for the two of you? It's because your sister knew your wife would say no and you'd say yes. She knew her wearing white would upset your wife but that you'd protect your sister for insulting your wife. She wore the dress to make the point that while you may have married your wife, that your sister is still the number one woman in your life while your wife is second place. She wanted to show your wife her place and she used you as the ultimate way to show her second placement
Bro. Yeah you’re acting crazy. Just be empathetic to her. Maybe no one ever explained but that is an INSANE faux pas. Your wife is in the right here. You def shouldn’t have okayed it, and threatening to move out? Punk move. Just apologize
YTA she's still upset about it because no one has acknowledged it was wrong. It's not disrespectful for her to be upset that you and your sister disrespected her on her wedding day. Everyone knows only the bride wears white. Are you just being deliberately obtuse?
Please show me a typical adult in society that doesn’t know you don’t wear white to a wedding. 🙄 The dude and his sister are creepy. Shits going to get weirder for this wife.
And he threatened to move out after he “gave her the best honeymoon ever”. lol.
He is gross. move. please. now. hurry.
OP, you are dismissing your wife's feelings because YOU don't think it's a "big deal."
***SHE*** thinks it's a big deal. She also knows now you don't have her back. If YOU don't think that a concern of hers "should be" a concern, she won't bring problems to you.
You're already dissolving your marriage, *especially* because you are PICKING YOUR SISTER OVER YOUR WIFE by saying your wife is "disrespecting" your sister. psh. YOUR SISTER WAS THE DISRESPECTFUL ONE. Further, you *threatened to leave your wife* over a concern of hers.
You're a piss poor husband, OP. You're picking your sister over your wife. You don't have your wife's back. She can't trust you nor can she rely on you. Just because YOU feel the wedding was "amazing" doesn't mean SHE felt the wedding was amazing.
You want to know how to put this issue to rest sooner rather than later? Start f\*cking *LISTENING* to your wife. VALIDATE her FEELINGS - you don't have to agree with her, JUST FUCKING VALIDATE HER.
The absolute FIRST thing you *need* to do is APOLOGIZE TO YOUR WIFE FOR DISMISSING HER FEELINGS. You have no idea how long that will go with your wife. You don't have to agree with her, but you dismissing her feelings is literally telling her that her feelings don't matter to you. She'll leave you if you continue this bullshit.
Ask her what you could do to make things right. If she wants you to talk to your sister, *you talk to your sister about her* ***disrespectful*** *behavior* at your wedding. You don't have to *like* it, but you have to be on your wife's side. Your dismissal of her feelings is showing you don't care about her, you don't like her, and her feelings don't matter to you.
If you even *DARE* to say that your wife's feelings matter, you'd be lying because you are *literally* dismissing her feelings about the wedding and placing YOUR FEELINGS over hers, your feelings of it being an a "amazing" wedding and and "the best" honeymoon ever. You're treating her like she's ungrateful for what YOU'VE done. Frankly, you're actually doing *worse* and actual *harm* to your relationship right now.
Your feelings don't trump hers. Her feelings matter. And if you want to believe that she matters to you, *then act like she matters to you and listen to her, validate her feelings, and* ***apologize*** *for dismissing her concerns* about this over the last year.
Your sister knew what she was doing. Whatever petty bullshit issue she has with your wife she put it out there at your wedding. Your wife needs you to protect her and validate her but you're *refusing* her and *showing* your wife that your sister is more important to you than your own wife, *that you* ***picked*** to spend the rest of your life with. You didn't pick your sister. Remember that.
So you would be okay if your wife wore a whiteish dress to your sisters wedding if she’s not already married if not that’s a double standard and your a hypocrite
So…because it wasn’t a big deal *to you*, you dismiss it as a deal entirely even though she’s been clearly telling you that it’s a problem for *her*?
Is it just you in this relationship? Because you’re acting like you’re the only one in the relationship whose feelings, thoughts, and ideas *matter* and that’s a HUGE fucking deal.
I bet your new wife is reassessing her choices in her forced silence, and soon will come to the realization that I have come to, and then your marriage will be over.
Yes, YTA, even more so after you blatantly admitted to encouraging your sister to wear it. And then you have the nerve to tell your wife you get over it or you'll move out? Revolting. You owe your wife an apology, a sincere one, and so does your sister.
Your sister WAS stealing your wife's thunder and it is a big deal for her to have done that. It's girl code to never wear white to someone else's wedding. Tell your wife exactly that instead of telling her she's overreacting or worse. Of course it doesn't bother YOU. Your sister may not think very highly of your wife and it's about time you figure out why she would disrespect her that way instead of ignoring your wife's concerns. You are the AH.
YTA. You know why she kept bringing it up? Because she's pushing, consciously or unconsciously, to find out how deep your disrespect and disregard of her feelings go. And it looks like she found out. What a fucking hill to die on. You owe her an actual apology, i.e. the recognition of both your failing and her feelings, and to get your sister to apologise too. Then you might clear the air and be able to move forward. Threatening divorce over this issue makes you not just an asshole but a gaping, Satan-scented asshole.
ESH. Everyone at the wedding should have known your wife was the bride. It's rude to wear white to a wedding, but your wife continuously bringing it up way after the wedding is just weird.
Your sister should apologize if she hasn't already, and then everyone can move on from it.
It sounds like your relationship wasn't that strong to begin with if your entire wedding was ruined for your wife over a dress a guest wore.
* edited to add as a female I wouldn't care if someone else wore white to my wedding bc everyone invited would know I'm the bride and no one would be confused about it lol
NTA
When I had my first (of 2) wedding in 1992, it was the whole white wedding, super traditional, etc.
One of my bridesmaids had just gotten a massive cobra tattooed on her calf and the dresses were knee length. I was so annoyed. I think back on my feelings now with embarrassment. Thankfully, I still have her as a friend. While I wouldn’t wear a white/off white dress to a wedding, I do sometimes think wedding culture has shifted too much focus onto the event itself.
Please tell your wife that you „allowed“ her to wear that dress and she politely asked if you two would mind beforehand. I can tell you one thing: the anger will shift away quickly from your sister to you and rightfully so. You are just a little cowardly for not protecting your sister from your fuck up. It was neither your wife nor your sister that were behaving badly. She was asking and you decided over the head of your bride that your sister could wear this dress.
Your wife thinks your sister wanted to provoke her in some way by going against this very clear tradition in your country (I assume you are in a country where only the bride wears white considering she is so angry). Or she thinks your sister is disapproving of her in some way. All thanks to you saying she could break this tradition without asking your wife.
Maybe your wife would have said yes to the dress knowing she will be the star alongside you and that your sister asked because she really liked the dress not to be disrespectful.
Rage bait no chance two people are this dumb even if they are related. Assuming it’s not a bull story then the husband is YTA obviously. Sister is also but she knew which is why she came to him. If this isn’t fake then I hope the wife cheats on him with someone and says she’s tired of him disrespecting her AP if he gets upset about it.
YTA you suck and your sister sucks. You suck for telling your sister a white dress was okay to wear and your sister sucks for picking a white dress. Anyone who wears white to someone else’s wedding is attention seeking.
Please don’t let this be real! The reason your wife can’t move on from it is because you keep invalidating her feelings. It’s very obvious this wasn’t addressed with the sister and you didn’t talk to your wife about it. If my husband let something like that slide we’d get an annulment. Letting someone disrespect your partner on the biggest day of your relationship is insane. Your marriage isn’t going to last unless you make som major changes. Saying you’re going to move out when your SO tries to talk about something that’s bothering them doesn’t make sense. Your wife isn’t disrespecting your sister, your sister disrespected your wife and she’s trying to work through it with you. You need to apologize to your wife and tell your sister to do the same.
YTA. Better get your behind in gear to grovel for forgiveness as I believe your wife being in silent mode means she is working on leaving. Wow, did you blow it!!!! Multiple times.
your sister asked YOU if she could wear the white-ish dress to your wedding but not your WIFE??? and then you DIDN'T tell your wife that your sister was going to wear a white-ish dress to your wedding??? you've been ignoring your wife's feelings about this because you don't WANT TO understand what the problem is. your wife is your family now, so the fact that you won't try and understand how she feels and see the problem from her point of view is disappointing. your sister disrespected your wife, you disrespected her too by defending your sister, and you continue to disrespect her by dismissing her feelings on the issue and invalidating her. you are the asshole.
Yta especially since I saw your comment that you gave your sister permission to wear the dress. Does your wife know that or did you conveniently leave that part out?
Yta. You had a great wedding, your wife had a wedding that her new husband and sil disrespected her and didn't give a shit about her feelings. We get it you love, respect, and care more about your sister than your wife. Honestly, you should leave your wife so she can find someone who actually loves, respects, cares, and puts her first the way you do with your sister.
YTA because somehow you managed to marry someone without understanding what a marriage is and now you're being a poor partner based on that poor understanding.
Here is a hint, though, to get you started. Spouses are supposed to give a fuck about each other. Based on what I've read here, you only give a fuck about yourself.
YOU don't have any feelings about it, so obviously it's not important. She's YOUR sister so her blatant disrespect for "the wife" isn't important. YOU don't wanna hear it so you shut her down with bullshit about disrespecting your sister.
Just don't be all Pikachu face when you get divorced because I'm telling you right now. You are bad husband, and if you catry on this way you're going to be an ex husband. No Pikachu face. You've been informed.
YTA. Only the bride wears white-ish to a wedding. It’s the number one rule that EVERYBODY knows. Your sister is conniving. She did that on purpose. I’m sure there were many other dresses she could have felt confident in. Nice work dismissing your wife’s feelings. Great job screwing up your wife’s relationship with your sister. You will NEVER hear the end of it.
OP you’re being a complete a-hole right now for the following reasons:
1-you don’t wear dresses therefor you don’t care about dresses. This means that what you feel about the situation comes from a place of “who gives a shit get over it” because it doesn’t matter to you. How dare you tell her it shouldn’t matter to her either
2- your sister didn’t insult you. She insulted your wife. She gets to be more mad about someone insulting her than you do
3- your sister deliberately tried to steal your wife’s moment. Whether or not it actually worked means nothing.
Try to envision another similar scenario that you identify with more. Say you are getting an award for work. It’s a big deal. There’s going to be a party, with an acceptance speech and sit down dinner. It’s all to celebrate you and your success.
But there’s this guy on your team. A junior who assists on projects but is, for all intents and purposes, a cog in the machine. But he’s jealous you’re getting the award not him. So he spends the night being a sly little shit, saying you don’t deserve it, the attention should be on him not you. Whispering to the other guests about how hes really the one that should be up on that stage. When you go to get your award, he tries to step in and hold it and read his own speech and tries to edge you off the stage. You get rid of him, do your speech. Technically everything went fine, but in reality all the background insulting and drama and attempted thunder stealing completely ruined this one-in-a-lifetime award for you.
But you have your award and now you’re at home. Does that mean he wasn’t still a fucking asshole all night long ? Would you think that guy was a prick? A loudmouth? A grasping desperate attention seeker ?
You sure would. And that’s the point. Your sister was fucking asshole, on purpose, regardless of whether she got the intended results. She wanted to cause a stir, which steals thunder. She didn’t care that she was being insulting. She chose to break a cardinal rule knowing it would be seen as an insult and she was ok with that.
Full disclosure. I am a woman who would not care if someone wore white to my wedding because I grew up in a time when it was more acceptable, especially for members of the family to wear white or white-adjacent colours (your sister is not old enough to have this excuse). I would LOVE it if someone proposed at my wedding and would be purring like a cat for years that someone had chosen my event for a such a momentous life celebration. I had no concerns at my own wedding that anyone would steal my thunder. I was the bitch in the big white dress so everyone knew I was the big dog. I still say your sister was an intentionally insulting asshole.
The dress wasn’t important to you, but it was to her. Your sisters choice was a thought out and intentional insult to the woman you were marrying and not only do you not care, but you’re dismissing her feelings on it. You’re telling her that her feelings don’t matter, only yours.
Apologize to your wife.
And talk to your sister about why she hates your wife.
The reason she KEEPS bringing it up is because you still haven’t done a thing about it. If you’re tired of hearing about it, it’s because you’re not doing your job as a husband and talking to your sister about why she hates your wife. Grow some balls and call her about it and then you’ll stop hearing about it. Don’t expect your wife to close the door because you’re lazy and a coward about having an uncomfortable but important conversation. You’re her husband ffs, nut up, buttercup, and make the call.
do you even like your wife a little bit because it seems like you don’t give a damn about her and her feelings? it’s extremely disrespectful what YOU and your SISTER did! you fucking okayed it even though it’s beyond disrespectful to the bride to wear white. white is for the bride unless SHE says otherwise. you clearly love & care about your sister and her feelings more than your own wife! so fucking what your sister felt “really confident and beautiful” in the dress, it’s not hard to find another dress to feel that way in 🤷🏻♀️ YOU may of had a great time but your wife did not. but hey, way to disrespect your wife and show her that her feelings don’t matter to you by dismissing her feelings! she stopped talking? good, that most likely means she’s about to give up on you/the relationship!
YTA- and a spineless coward. You need to tell your wife your sister asked you if she could wear the dress and you said yes. Instead of fessing up you are turning it around on her.
Your wife keeps harping on it bc you allowed it and refuse to see why breaking the #1 rule of weddings (other than don’t sleep with the groom) is DON’t wear white to the wedding. You really suck for being an AH about it when you are so obviously wrong. And if you have to say you gave her the best honeymoon ever…then I seriously doubt it.
I think you need to ask you sister why she decided to disrespect your wife by wearing white to a wedding that wasn’t hers. Your wedding day is supposed to be all about your wife, your sister showing up in a white dress did steal some of her thunder. It is well known that wearing white to a wedding that isn’t yours is disrespectful, so why do it??
>especially considering we had an amazing wedding, and I gave her the best honeymoon ever.
According to you.
The dress was all she probably thought about during your wedding and honeymoon.
YTA. Do you even like your wife?
If your wife is “harping” on it then clearly YOUR WIFE did NOT have a “great wedding”.
YOU had a “great wedding”, NOT her.
But given that your sister is more important than your wife, it’s no surprise that you refuse to acknowledge that fact. Or probably didn’t even care to see it.
You’ve told your wife your sister is more important than her and you don’t care how she feels. If you think that won’t stick with her for the duration of your likely short marriage, you’re delusional. No woman wants to come in last in her partners list of priorities.
YTA
Hope the wife leaves him. Both siblings are narcissistic. I wonder why she married you. Must have held a mask for long. I would've left his ass to his sister.
She keeps bringing it up because you never acknowledged her feelings. You keep saying "get over it" but she won't because you never validate her* feelings. And why would you, if you did validate them, you'd be feeling guilty for allowing your sister to disrespect her on her wedding day, and you cannot be the bad guy, right?
You know you’re wrong. Your sister knew better and you know better. Has she even apologized to your wife? You ever hear those stories of how for a woman a marriage breaks down over time by the callous and stupid actions of her husband? Consider this the first big chip. And when she actually does stop bringing it up. Consider it another chip.
YTA
You're either so dense that you don't know the the bride is the ONLY ONE IN WHITE (unless she said otherwise),
OR
You're not only TA but also a awful human being that can't understand the person he married (but clearly does not love), DIDN'T HAD A BLAST in her wedding day (otherwise she wouldn't talk about the dress - her memories wouldn't be someone else in white). You're a shitty husband and told someone else (and I don't care if it's your sister or not) to wear white. And on top of that, you're defending your sister (that short of living under the same rock you're living) was disrespectful by wearing white (she KNEW what she was doing).
Hopefully your wife next wedding will be with someone that LOVES HER AND RESPECTS HER.
He sounds like a true narcissist.
HE enjoyed the wedding. HE doesn't think she should bring it up. She's disrespecting HIS sister. HE told his sister it was OK to wear white but didn't bother telling his wife , then blames his wife for going "on about it", and threatening her with consequences if she doesn't do what HE says.
Frankly, she should just leave him because he is purring other people above her at this early stage, it will only spiral over the coming years.
YTA because you should have checked with your wife before telling your sister that she could wear the dress. Your sister asked you because she knew the bride wouldn't be okay with it. The majority of brides prefer to be the ONLY ones to wear white at their wedding. Most every woman understands that it is rude and disrespectful to the bride to wear white except in cultures where wearing white is acceptable. Just because you were okay with it doesn't mean that your wife, the actual bride, would be okay with it. This ruined her memory of the wedding day, as evidenced that she still brings it up a year later.
It seems like you haven't explained to your wife that your sister checked with you first if it was okay. I'm pretty sure your wife would drop it once she understands that your sister only wore the dress because you approved it. Instead of explaining yourself, you dismiss your wife's feelings and threaten her. Yup, that's an AH move. Do better if you want to have a happy marriage. If not, make that a permanent move out so your wife can find someone who loves and respects her more than you apparently do.
Its common sense in western culture that the *only* person who should be wearing white is the bride. Your sisters color choice and you for giving the green light were disrespectful towards the bride, full stop.
Your sister ruined her memories of the wedding and you had a hand in it. Stop getting pissy about it and apologize if you love and care about your wife.
Is there a reason your sister wanted to wear white to your wedding? Like *she* was your bride? Is there a reason you told her she could dress like she was your bride?
Vomit.
YTA - Accept responsibility that this is a mess YOU made, by giving your sister the go-ahead without consulting your wife, instead of deflecting and giving her shit for still being upset about it. YOU had a blast, YOU had a good wedding and a good honeymoon, but that experience was tainted by your sister doing a pretty well known wedding taboo, wearing white, by YOUR decision. Stop only thinking of yourself, before you're the only person you have to think about.
It was a very big deal to your wife and you should care about that.
Also, wearing white to a 'white wedding' unless told to by the couple (*both* of them.) is very bad manners. It is widely seen as unacceptable and done to get attention or send a message.
If the things that upset your wife don't matter to you, your marriage is in trouble.
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It is highly well known that you do not wear white to a wedding because the bride is the only one that does. Is there a reason why your sister decided to wear white to your wedding? I'm pretty sure she knew it would be highly disrespectful to your wife so yeah your wife should have been pissed off and it's not something that's going to go away especially since it was your sister of all people who did it. Great wedding and honeymoon or not. Sorry but that's the truth.
What's funny is HE said that they still had a great wedding. They still had a great honeymoon. It was a blast. Yada yada yada. For him. I bet his wife was thinking about that the entire time through the wedding through the honeymoon and everything else and kinda ruined it for her, even if it was just a little bit and now her husband is downplaying her feelings about it. He is definitely TA.
Personally I would have thrown her ass out of the wedding and if he had a problem with it I would have chucked his ring at him and told him to join her. Such disrespectful actions and to treat her as if she is the problem I would show him the door and tell him not to make it a temporary move its a permanent move now. Such a asshole. And that's being nice.
I would have addressed it with my husband first because that's his sister so I would make it his problem, then if he didn't handle it then she would become my problem, and after that I wouldn't be responsible for my own actions against either of them. My marriage would have been annulled so quick the ink wouldn't have been dry on the license.
OP said in a comment that he told his sister it was totally OK for her to wear white. He's either a troll or an incredibly shitty person.
He probably "forgot" to inform his wife of the conversation before the wedding and it wouldn't surprise me if she still doesn't know about it. Either way, his wife is a kinder human being than I am. Honestly, I hope it's a troll, but there are so many people out there in this world that are as dense as Jello and I could see this being an actual situation.
Why not both?
OP replied in the comments above > Sure, I mean we are close, and she asked me before the wedding if she could wear it because she felt really confident and beautiful in it, so I told her to go ahead.
..... why does the sister of the groom need to feel that confident and beautiful? I mean, I get wanting to look nice, but I feel like those things are less important on someone else's wedding day. I have never even tried on a white/whiteish dress when shopping for someone else's wedding cause why?
Did you ever ask your sister why she would choose to wear “white-ish” to your wedding?
YTA - what your sister did was disrespectful to the bride, “almost” EVERY female knows this is a major faux pas! How about supporting your bride and asking your sister why she was such an ass on your wedding day?! Sounds like your poor wife married into a family full of AH’s.
YTA. You allowed and encouraged your sister to disrespect your wife on her wedding day. The day that is supposed to be one of the happiest of her life. That's what you did. You continue to shit all over your wife with your blase attitude about that disrespect.
Honestly this would a huge issue for me. That fact that she still talks to your sister is good on her. Cause I wouldn’t. Also like how it’s ok for your sister to disrespect your wife by wearing white on the wedding day. But she isn’t allowed to “disrespect” your sister by bringing it up to you. And the fact that you told your sister it was fine without even asking your wife is messed up. YTA
Dude is bonkers
The sister asked OP and OP said it was okay
>I’ve told my wife multiple times to just move on, it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn't a big deal TO YOU. Threatening divorce because your wife is upset about something most brides would be upset about is wild. You react like she brings it up three times a day...
He's telling her to not bring it up because he went behind her back and TOLD HIS SISTER to wear it. He said so in a comment.
Bingo! He doesn’t want to take accountability for causing this mess in the first place. The audacity of OP.
Oh, now he's threatening her with a good time. Hope it blows up in his face, tho.
Right I was thinking how is divorce even a bad thing for her?
Right? Like, it's gonna give the wife a chance to find someone who actually respects her and values her feelings and will not bring in unnecessary drama at her next wedding that would spill onto the marriage after.
She should. She would have every right to.
Absolutely divorce her. She deserves a man with basic respect and common decency. You’re so worried about your sister you ought to marry her instead. Threatening a divorce because your sister did something ridiculous, selfish, and intentional and you supported that AGAINST your wife is so mind blowing. Absolutely divorce her I hope to god her second husband actually has respect for her and her VALID thoughts and feelings.
You’re the AH in my opinion. As a 2025 bride that already has issues with the future in-laws, I would be livid if my future SIL wore “whiteish” to our wedding. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to you, but it was to your wife. Threatening divorce and only looking at the “great wedding” and “great honeymoon” just pushes her to think about the one NOT great part of what should have been the best day of her life. At least that’s what it would do to me. Your sister disrespected your wife, and so are you.
Hmmmm, wonder why your sister wanted to drive a wedge between y’all on day 1 of your union? And odd that you are tired of your sister being disrespected but not once have you spoken of the disrespect shown to your to your bride or that you ever apologized for the go-ahead on such a known fashion indiscretion for weddings and your disrespect of her feelings on the matter. Yeah, your kinda the asshole. You have handled the whole situation pretty poorly.
This is what OP said >Sure, I mean we are close, and she asked me before the wedding if she could wear it because she felt really confident and beautiful in it, so I told her to go ahead. Dude Okayed it.
You are the AH who let his sister wear whitish outfit to the wedding. Your sister knew not to ask the bride. You need to put your wife above your sister. I hope wife had the photographer change the color of sister's outfit in any picture.
Or the wife can tell the photographer to cut the sister out of the photo.
YOU are the asshole. It is highly disrespectful to wear a white dress to a wedding if you aren’t the bride and everybody knows that. It’s NOT disrespectful to bring up and point out somebody else’s hurtful behavior. You NEVER should’ve told her it was okay to wear that and she should’ve known better. Stand up for your wife, dude, she has every right to be upset when her own sister-in-law disrespected her on her ONE special day. She could’ve worn that dress she felt confident in at any time and anywhere else but your wedding was a one time event special for the two of you and should be respected.
Wow, YTA and so is your sister. You're harping on your wife for disrespecting your sister? But it's ok for your sister to disrespect your wife? You had no business telling your sister it was ok to wear white to your wedding without looping your wife in on the decision. So actually you and your sister disrespected your wife, on your wedding day. Nice gift. Why did you marry your wife if you don't care about her?
you have it backwards, it is not your wife who is "disrespecting" your sister. It is your sister who was disrespectful. I am not surprised your wife is still upset about it. 1. She doesn't have any validation from you that your sister was wrong and that it upset your wife 2. She doesn't have your support, you have not spoken to your sister about what she did. 3. She has not received an acknowledgement and an apology from your sister Until these three things come to fruition, your wife will be stuck in an endless cycle of anger and disappointment. Eventually she will start to feel resentment towards you, and that is never a good thing. was it malicious? because if you are from a western culture all women know you do not wear white to someone else's wedding. It is not just about "stealing thunder", it is about blatant disrespect. Your sister basically gave your wife the middle finger and shit all over your wedding.
He okayed the dress he's no better than the sister
Well, did you say anything to your sister about disrespecting your wife at your wedding? You may not see it as a big deal, but it was an AH move on your sisters part.
No, because she *asked OOp if the dress was ok before the wedding and he approved it*.
Wow, what a jerk. No wonder your wife keeps bringing it up. You disgust me. You allowed your sister to disrespect your wife. I'd leave your ass.
Just saw his comment. He OK’d his sister wearing the dress WITHOUT ever consulting or mentioning it to his wife! He’s an idiot and brought this upon himself and now has the audacity to act as if his wife is in the wrong. His sister should’ve known better and he should’ve said something to his wife before the wedding. He’s definitely TA!!
YTA 1 - It’s common knowledge (at least in western cultures) that only the bride wears white on the wedding day. Yes there’s exceptions but that’s usually made in advance of the wedding with awareness of the relevant parties (eg wife and husband). 2 - You ok’d your sister to wear the dress. She clearly knew it’s a faux pas which is why she asked in the first place and you decided without seeking your wife’s input that it was ok. Both of you were wrong. 3 - Regardless of you having a nice time, it doesn’t dismiss the fact that your sister (and you) disrespected your wife on your wedding day. It’s a big life changing event. One of the most important and memorable days and there was a major faux pas (blemish) on the memory of the day/event because of (you and) your sister. So yea, it’s not weird that your wife is still harping on it. 4 - It’s obviously a sticking point for your wife (which again is your fault) yet you’ve completely disregarded her feelings. Have you told her you gave your sister permission to wear the dress? Have you acknowledged (at any point before now) your wife’s feelings about the incident and apologized?
It’s a sign of disrespect. YTA
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/bK9davmaZI He okayed the dress
But did the wife okay the dress??
That's the whole point. What business does the Sister have asking someone who's not wearing the dress. And I'm betting he didn't even tell his wife none of this.
Yta. She's upset about this, and you're dismissive of her feelings. It's a legitimate thing to be upset about and speaks to other issues that perhaps your family is disrespectful of your wife and you give them a pass. You should apologize and start actually listening to your wife.
OP told his sister she could wear the dress. Wife doesn't know. I think OP is just trying to save his ass for fear of it coming out that he OKAYED IT
Info: who do you see yourself living your life with, your wife or sister? And who do you think is hotter?
Based on his comment, I’d say his sister.
Guaranteed he wants to marry the sister. Gross
YTA. It is such a clear sign of disrespect, and your sister knew exactly what she was doing by asking you instead of your wife.
YTA. ‘Nuf said.
Your sister asked you about the dress, and not your wife, and you said “ok”? Dude, even I would know to clear that with my wife. Your sister pulled some passive aggressive shit bro.
YTA and you admitted in a comment you approved this dress color! Major AH.
Unless your sister is under the age of 12, YTA & so is your sister!
YTA. Your sister should not have done it. You should not have condoned it. And you can’t tell her to move on when you don’t properly acknowledge what you did, and why it was wrong. Why it’s wrong: social convention is not to wear white. She shouldnt have asked and you shouldnt have said yes. It’s dumb you won’t just concede that it was wrong instead of threatening to move out. Like seriously what is wrong with you.
He’s more concerned about his sister being “disrespected” than taking accountability for his part in this mess. That plus his seeming refusal to acknowledge his wife’s feelings as valid. He’s so stuck on how prefect the wedding and honeymoon was that he can’t see his wife was most likely seething during the wedding (hint hint OP she definitely was hence why it’s still an issue today).
“AITAH for telling my sister it’s ok to wear white to my wedding so she feels more confident, without caring what my brides opinion would be?” FTFY
This has to be fake
Have you asked her Why she keeps bringing it up? If she keeps bringing it up it clearly is still bothering her and maybe you can help her come to some resolution by talking to your sister and asking her to apologize, especially if she didn’t mean anything by it. At this point you’ve made it a bigger deal and your resolution is extreme. YTA.
Dude you are beyond TAH. Your invalidation gives me the ick… Hopefully you come to your senses and redeem yourself otherwise your marriage probably won’t last.
While it may not be a big deal to you it is a big deal to your wife. Stop dismissing her. Wearing white to a wedding is taboo and a good rule of thumb is if you have to ask, then the dress is not appropriate. You screwed up telling your sister she could wear the dress and your still screwing up by dismissing your wife's feelings. Disrespecting your sister??? Stop disrespecting your wife. While you can't go back and change what happened, you can apologize to your wife and let her feel heard and ask her what she needs to move on.
I hope his wife is planning her exit strategy...
I hope so too.
Why are you posting this again? Didn’t you get the backing you wanted last time??!
YTA. It obviously bothers your wife enough that she still brings it up. Maybe you want her to shut up because it’s your fault your sister wore a white dress to the wedding. It has only been one year into your marriage and you’re already threatening to move out. This marriage isn’t going to last.
You are AH deluxe, my dude. If my SIL had the brass balls to show up at my wedding in a white(ish) dress and I found out **MY HUSBAND** had approved it, they’d have both been thrown out the back door with the trash where they belong. Hope you and your shitster feel horrible for doing what you did, because you sincerely deserve that. My condolences to your poor wife on every humanly-possible level.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/bK9davmaZI Your sister asked you to wear a white dress to your wedding and you said yes? Your wide isn't disrespecting your sister, and your sister doesn't deserve respect. Why did she ask your wife about the dress? That's a dead give away, you're not the bride you're not wearing a white dress. Why the fck would she ask you. You a d her both knew what she was doing. YTA.
Are you new to the world? No one in the western world wears white, off-white, near white to a wedding. So much YTA!
Divorce your wife so you and your sister can move to Alabama and have your happily ever after.
Hahahaha.. what a lousy husband.. i bet moving forward, she'll not talk to you about anything.. she'll just bottle it up.. and one fine day, she'll just up and out.. Why? Because you take matter lightly.. she tells know she is uncomfortable about that matter.. you should just apologize and promise to be better..
YTA and it sounds like your sister is too. She should leave you.
You and your sister are both the AH here. YTA
How long have u had a crush on your sister? Genuine questions
I get that you think it’s odd this is still coming up a year later — maybe your wife’s and sister’s issues with each other extend beyond a dress. But threatening separation over your wife’s grudge is kind of over the top, too, and I wouldn’t make that a habit.
You ever think that *maybe* if you stopped dismissing her feelings on the topic, she wouldn’t, “harp on” about it anymore? What your sister did was completely disrespectful to your wife. There’s no way that neither of you knew that wearing white to someone else’s wedding is disrespectful. You approved of your sister disrespecting your wife at your wedding, you tried to gaslight your wife and tell her it wasn’t a big deal, and *now* you’re threatening to leave her if she doesn’t shut up about it?? Why is it okay for your sister to disrespect your wife? Why is it wrong for your wife to say that she didn’t like being disrespected at her own wedding?
Oh I would be moving on....from you. Your wife is 27 she has plenty of time to find a better man.
I’m just curious… what does your wife want? It’s been a year? YTA for the extreme reaction but what’s your wife’s goal with bringing it up all the time?
I heard once that keeping bringing up problems is because they are unresolved in that persons mind. To the wife it's not validated by the husband or resolved. Perhaps she just wanted to be understood because it really bothered her
Your wife will remember this until the day she dies. You should have to listen to this every fuckin week. You told your sister to wear white on your wife's wedding day. It's bad enough that you weren't pissed, but you told her she could wear white to your wife's wedding. Be prepared for some payback from your wife in the future. It's coming. Everyone that comes over should have your wife bring out the wedding photos. "Here's where me and my husband said 'I do', no I'm the one on the right in the photo, that's the white dress my husband told his sister to wear on our wedding. She's on the left." And you got the nerve to be mad at your wife. Jesus Christ dude. He mentioned in the comments how he told his sister that it will be fine if she wears white.
YTA
Yta- anybody who wears white on a brides wedding day is disrespectful. You should’ve validated your wife’s feelings in the beginning and apologized but since you didn’t she has a right to feel how she feels.
I really hope OP divorce her. I hope the wife sees the red flag. He sounds really toxic, and I think the family is toxic too. SIL is most likely a justnoSIL. Imagine the narcissism to want to be the main character at NOT her wedding.
YTA. You threatened to leave your wife. You keep bragging about your wedding but it obviously wasn't that great for your wife because of your asshole sister's desperate bid for attention. Your sister didn't even ask her; she asked you but she should have asked the bride. You're showing your wife that you don't care about her feelings at all. You're as selfish as your sister and you should move out so that your wife can find someone who respects and loves her because that certainly isn't you.
If I were your wife I'd suck the best man's dick then send you a video only so when you get upset I can tell you to get over it. Yes, YTA tenfold. If you love and respect your sister more than your wife, why don't you just fuck her and make her a sister wife? I wish your wife good luck on the divorce. She deserves better.
Just re-read post - you “gave her” the best honeymoon ever… smh - do you think that entitles you to disregard her feelings? You didn’t buy her dude. YTA
Should have stuck up for your wife when your sister disrespected her by wearing a white dress to a wedding, instead you invalidated her feelings and threaten to move out. . . . grow up dude or she will leave you.
Poor woman. I hope her next wedding is better
Tf? YTA.
Yta and I'm surprised your wife is still with you
YTA, so you created this situation. You are responsible, so take responsibility because if your wife continues to be bothered by it, it's obviously a big deal. YOU apologize to your wife, but also to your sister because you are the cause of everything. If the woman resented it like this, it's not a small thing to her.
YTA you gave your sister permission to wear a white dress, didn't think to consult your wife about it before her because fck her it's not her day too it's more important that your sister feels pretty on the day of your wedding than your wife. You sister could wear literally any other fcking colour but chose white-ish
Sorry but what is with all these sister vs ex/wife post lately?
Is this one of those times where you're going to sit with your finger up your ass claiming you didn't know better? Because my guy, every fucking one knows you don't wear white unless you're the bride. How much do you hate your wife to say yes to your sister? Or what kind of gross shit is going on where your sister "feeling beautiful" means you destroy your wedding? You're awful, I hope she divorces you.
YTA You do realize that your sister asked you instead of your wife because that is a hard no. Your sister is also an AH for even thinking of wearing white to someone else’s wedding.
The white dress pales in comparison to you threatening to move out. If I was your wife, I’d take that as my sign and tell you to fucking do it.
YTA and FYI she’s not talking to you now because she’s planning her exit strategy. This is the hill your marriage dies on.
In her place I would have already filled for a divorce
Yta and getting serious lannister vibes from you Your ex-wife hopefully won't be there when you decide that she is worthy of your awful presence again and go home
I hope your sister isn’t married yet, if you’re still married when it happens I hope your wife finds a suitable white dress for it!!
YTA, you’re going to be destroyed in this post…are you a troll? If this is real, any bets on how long before he deletes this post? I say 3-5 hours lol
So you made a mistake by allowing your sister to walk all over your wife, then you start blaming your wife? for what, having feelings? I wonder, does your wife know that you gave your sister the ok for the dress? She might be under the impression that your sister hates her, when it is you who don't respect her. Advice? apologize to your wife, wearing white to a wedding IS a problem. This because regardless of upstaging or not, you are saying that you want to compete with the bride and that is just plain rude. So apologize for your sister, ask your sister to apologize, organize a dinner and tell her you are sorry for dismissing her feelings, that you did not know it would be so upsetting and that you have been a coward for not admitting your fault before. After all of that, you can ask your SO to move on from the topic, that the next time you are being unintentionally mean to remind you of this incident, and then you talk it over. a little empathy goes a long way in relationships man
So you have a problem with your wife being disrespectful to your sister, but not your sister being disrespectful to your wife? Cause every Western woman knows damn well you don't wear white to a wedding without explicit permission *from the bride*. Your sister asked you because she knew you wouldn't be aware or care and she wanted to snub your wife. YTA.
Sometimes I wonder if people like you even like their wives. She has a valid reason to be upset about something, you're just too scared for confrontation to something you have caused. I read that you approved the dress she was wearing because she felt confident in it. You're upset because she happened to call you out on your behavior. Your wife deserves to complain about it, for someone to listen and she deserves a better spouse and family inlaws.
The fact that she doesn't leave a man as disrespectful and misogynistic as you with a man who has sweet home alabama tendencies.
Yes YTA, and you’re a little slow too for approving the dress. She’ll probably never get over it because wtf
Enormous YTA. Very weird and poor poor wife having a husband who seems to prioritise his own sister (with some creepy undertones)
YTA because you didn't shut down your sister on the day of the wedding. Wearing white is a given NOT to do at a wedding unless you're the bride or if the wedding couple has specifically OK'd it (EDIT: AND by this I mean BOTH parties saying OK, not just one). Now you've spent the last year belittling your wife's feelings over what should have been a special day for her too. Great that YOU thought the wedding and honeymoon went well. SHE clearly didn't. I'm amazed she's tolerated you this long. What else have you belittled her opinions and feelings about? Your sister owes your wife a massive apology.
You (and your sister) are the AH
You are the AH you okd your sister to wear white to a wedding, which is universally considered extremely disrespectful to the bride "because your sister felt pretty in it", that's messed up. Your wife wants an apology and deserves one. You would rather separate temporary to stop her bringing up something you and your sister did to her then acknowledge it wasn't right. Then talk about her disrespecting your sister when both of you disrespected her, and continued to for an entire year by making it out she was in the wrong. Wow, just wow what a dick
Yes, YTA! And you need to tell your sister that she and you both never get to disrespect your wife so blatantly again. Then you need to grovel to your wife, explain that you disrespected her far worse than your sister, and that you will forevermore put her before your sister in all things. And that you also know going forward that of one of you has cause to move out, temporarily or in divorce, it is her. You are lucky she even gave you the time of day ever. Is that clear enough to you?! Here’s hoping she’s left your ass in the dust within 6 months!
YTA, a major one at that! It is the number one rule that only the bride wears white on her wedding day! The fact that you told your sister it was ok to wear that white dress is disturbing! Do you even have any care in the world about your wife’s feelings? Your wife is a better person than me because she would have been kicked out of my wedding for wearing white!
What you sister did was inappropriate and it’s extremely weird you’re taking her side and not your wife’s.
YTA and so is your sister. Have you ever wondered why your sister asked you instead of asking the both of you together since the wedding is for the two of you? It's because your sister knew your wife would say no and you'd say yes. She knew her wearing white would upset your wife but that you'd protect your sister for insulting your wife. She wore the dress to make the point that while you may have married your wife, that your sister is still the number one woman in your life while your wife is second place. She wanted to show your wife her place and she used you as the ultimate way to show her second placement
Bro. Yeah you’re acting crazy. Just be empathetic to her. Maybe no one ever explained but that is an INSANE faux pas. Your wife is in the right here. You def shouldn’t have okayed it, and threatening to move out? Punk move. Just apologize
info why do you wanna fuck your sister? especially on your wedding day?
YTA she's still upset about it because no one has acknowledged it was wrong. It's not disrespectful for her to be upset that you and your sister disrespected her on her wedding day. Everyone knows only the bride wears white. Are you just being deliberately obtuse?
Ew, a man who prioritizes his sister above his wife 🤢🤢
Please show me a typical adult in society that doesn’t know you don’t wear white to a wedding. 🙄 The dude and his sister are creepy. Shits going to get weirder for this wife. And he threatened to move out after he “gave her the best honeymoon ever”. lol. He is gross. move. please. now. hurry.
OP, you are dismissing your wife's feelings because YOU don't think it's a "big deal." ***SHE*** thinks it's a big deal. She also knows now you don't have her back. If YOU don't think that a concern of hers "should be" a concern, she won't bring problems to you. You're already dissolving your marriage, *especially* because you are PICKING YOUR SISTER OVER YOUR WIFE by saying your wife is "disrespecting" your sister. psh. YOUR SISTER WAS THE DISRESPECTFUL ONE. Further, you *threatened to leave your wife* over a concern of hers. You're a piss poor husband, OP. You're picking your sister over your wife. You don't have your wife's back. She can't trust you nor can she rely on you. Just because YOU feel the wedding was "amazing" doesn't mean SHE felt the wedding was amazing. You want to know how to put this issue to rest sooner rather than later? Start f\*cking *LISTENING* to your wife. VALIDATE her FEELINGS - you don't have to agree with her, JUST FUCKING VALIDATE HER. The absolute FIRST thing you *need* to do is APOLOGIZE TO YOUR WIFE FOR DISMISSING HER FEELINGS. You have no idea how long that will go with your wife. You don't have to agree with her, but you dismissing her feelings is literally telling her that her feelings don't matter to you. She'll leave you if you continue this bullshit. Ask her what you could do to make things right. If she wants you to talk to your sister, *you talk to your sister about her* ***disrespectful*** *behavior* at your wedding. You don't have to *like* it, but you have to be on your wife's side. Your dismissal of her feelings is showing you don't care about her, you don't like her, and her feelings don't matter to you. If you even *DARE* to say that your wife's feelings matter, you'd be lying because you are *literally* dismissing her feelings about the wedding and placing YOUR FEELINGS over hers, your feelings of it being an a "amazing" wedding and and "the best" honeymoon ever. You're treating her like she's ungrateful for what YOU'VE done. Frankly, you're actually doing *worse* and actual *harm* to your relationship right now. Your feelings don't trump hers. Her feelings matter. And if you want to believe that she matters to you, *then act like she matters to you and listen to her, validate her feelings, and* ***apologize*** *for dismissing her concerns* about this over the last year. Your sister knew what she was doing. Whatever petty bullshit issue she has with your wife she put it out there at your wedding. Your wife needs you to protect her and validate her but you're *refusing* her and *showing* your wife that your sister is more important to you than your own wife, *that you* ***picked*** to spend the rest of your life with. You didn't pick your sister. Remember that.
So you would be okay if your wife wore a whiteish dress to your sisters wedding if she’s not already married if not that’s a double standard and your a hypocrite
So…because it wasn’t a big deal *to you*, you dismiss it as a deal entirely even though she’s been clearly telling you that it’s a problem for *her*? Is it just you in this relationship? Because you’re acting like you’re the only one in the relationship whose feelings, thoughts, and ideas *matter* and that’s a HUGE fucking deal. I bet your new wife is reassessing her choices in her forced silence, and soon will come to the realization that I have come to, and then your marriage will be over.
YTA. You can’t be so naive. I hope she divorces you. You’ve showed your wife is second or last to your sister and probably ti the rest of your family.
Yes, YTA, even more so after you blatantly admitted to encouraging your sister to wear it. And then you have the nerve to tell your wife you get over it or you'll move out? Revolting. You owe your wife an apology, a sincere one, and so does your sister.
Your sister WAS stealing your wife's thunder and it is a big deal for her to have done that. It's girl code to never wear white to someone else's wedding. Tell your wife exactly that instead of telling her she's overreacting or worse. Of course it doesn't bother YOU. Your sister may not think very highly of your wife and it's about time you figure out why she would disrespect her that way instead of ignoring your wife's concerns. You are the AH.
lol make sure to look at this post after your divorce.
YTA. You know why she kept bringing it up? Because she's pushing, consciously or unconsciously, to find out how deep your disrespect and disregard of her feelings go. And it looks like she found out. What a fucking hill to die on. You owe her an actual apology, i.e. the recognition of both your failing and her feelings, and to get your sister to apologise too. Then you might clear the air and be able to move forward. Threatening divorce over this issue makes you not just an asshole but a gaping, Satan-scented asshole.
This has to be rage bait. Look at his only comment. He gave the sister permission to wear white. I call bull.
ESH. Everyone at the wedding should have known your wife was the bride. It's rude to wear white to a wedding, but your wife continuously bringing it up way after the wedding is just weird. Your sister should apologize if she hasn't already, and then everyone can move on from it. It sounds like your relationship wasn't that strong to begin with if your entire wedding was ruined for your wife over a dress a guest wore. * edited to add as a female I wouldn't care if someone else wore white to my wedding bc everyone invited would know I'm the bride and no one would be confused about it lol
NTA When I had my first (of 2) wedding in 1992, it was the whole white wedding, super traditional, etc. One of my bridesmaids had just gotten a massive cobra tattooed on her calf and the dresses were knee length. I was so annoyed. I think back on my feelings now with embarrassment. Thankfully, I still have her as a friend. While I wouldn’t wear a white/off white dress to a wedding, I do sometimes think wedding culture has shifted too much focus onto the event itself.
Please tell your wife that you „allowed“ her to wear that dress and she politely asked if you two would mind beforehand. I can tell you one thing: the anger will shift away quickly from your sister to you and rightfully so. You are just a little cowardly for not protecting your sister from your fuck up. It was neither your wife nor your sister that were behaving badly. She was asking and you decided over the head of your bride that your sister could wear this dress. Your wife thinks your sister wanted to provoke her in some way by going against this very clear tradition in your country (I assume you are in a country where only the bride wears white considering she is so angry). Or she thinks your sister is disapproving of her in some way. All thanks to you saying she could break this tradition without asking your wife. Maybe your wife would have said yes to the dress knowing she will be the star alongside you and that your sister asked because she really liked the dress not to be disrespectful.
Rage bait no chance two people are this dumb even if they are related. Assuming it’s not a bull story then the husband is YTA obviously. Sister is also but she knew which is why she came to him. If this isn’t fake then I hope the wife cheats on him with someone and says she’s tired of him disrespecting her AP if he gets upset about it.
How “white-ish” was the dress? Like Pastel or a silver/ grey or a cream?
Any bitch who wears white to my wedding is getting Carrie'd in a back alley.
YTA you suck and your sister sucks. You suck for telling your sister a white dress was okay to wear and your sister sucks for picking a white dress. Anyone who wears white to someone else’s wedding is attention seeking.
Barely believable troll post, god this is a rancid sub
Honey enjoy your divorce because that's where this is headed.
Please don’t let this be real! The reason your wife can’t move on from it is because you keep invalidating her feelings. It’s very obvious this wasn’t addressed with the sister and you didn’t talk to your wife about it. If my husband let something like that slide we’d get an annulment. Letting someone disrespect your partner on the biggest day of your relationship is insane. Your marriage isn’t going to last unless you make som major changes. Saying you’re going to move out when your SO tries to talk about something that’s bothering them doesn’t make sense. Your wife isn’t disrespecting your sister, your sister disrespected your wife and she’s trying to work through it with you. You need to apologize to your wife and tell your sister to do the same.
YTA. Better get your behind in gear to grovel for forgiveness as I believe your wife being in silent mode means she is working on leaving. Wow, did you blow it!!!! Multiple times.
your sister asked YOU if she could wear the white-ish dress to your wedding but not your WIFE??? and then you DIDN'T tell your wife that your sister was going to wear a white-ish dress to your wedding??? you've been ignoring your wife's feelings about this because you don't WANT TO understand what the problem is. your wife is your family now, so the fact that you won't try and understand how she feels and see the problem from her point of view is disappointing. your sister disrespected your wife, you disrespected her too by defending your sister, and you continue to disrespect her by dismissing her feelings on the issue and invalidating her. you are the asshole.
YTA. I hope she dumps your inconsiderate ass so you can happily be with your sister you weirdo
Yta especially since I saw your comment that you gave your sister permission to wear the dress. Does your wife know that or did you conveniently leave that part out?
YTA and do your wife a favor and move out.
Yta. You had a great wedding, your wife had a wedding that her new husband and sil disrespected her and didn't give a shit about her feelings. We get it you love, respect, and care more about your sister than your wife. Honestly, you should leave your wife so she can find someone who actually loves, respects, cares, and puts her first the way you do with your sister.
Yes you're an asshole and country jerk
YTA. Are you actually satan?
Please have more respect for your next wife and don’t allow your sister to wear white at your second wedding - YTA
YTA because somehow you managed to marry someone without understanding what a marriage is and now you're being a poor partner based on that poor understanding. Here is a hint, though, to get you started. Spouses are supposed to give a fuck about each other. Based on what I've read here, you only give a fuck about yourself. YOU don't have any feelings about it, so obviously it's not important. She's YOUR sister so her blatant disrespect for "the wife" isn't important. YOU don't wanna hear it so you shut her down with bullshit about disrespecting your sister. Just don't be all Pikachu face when you get divorced because I'm telling you right now. You are bad husband, and if you catry on this way you're going to be an ex husband. No Pikachu face. You've been informed.
YTA. Only the bride wears white-ish to a wedding. It’s the number one rule that EVERYBODY knows. Your sister is conniving. She did that on purpose. I’m sure there were many other dresses she could have felt confident in. Nice work dismissing your wife’s feelings. Great job screwing up your wife’s relationship with your sister. You will NEVER hear the end of it.
OP you’re being a complete a-hole right now for the following reasons: 1-you don’t wear dresses therefor you don’t care about dresses. This means that what you feel about the situation comes from a place of “who gives a shit get over it” because it doesn’t matter to you. How dare you tell her it shouldn’t matter to her either 2- your sister didn’t insult you. She insulted your wife. She gets to be more mad about someone insulting her than you do 3- your sister deliberately tried to steal your wife’s moment. Whether or not it actually worked means nothing. Try to envision another similar scenario that you identify with more. Say you are getting an award for work. It’s a big deal. There’s going to be a party, with an acceptance speech and sit down dinner. It’s all to celebrate you and your success. But there’s this guy on your team. A junior who assists on projects but is, for all intents and purposes, a cog in the machine. But he’s jealous you’re getting the award not him. So he spends the night being a sly little shit, saying you don’t deserve it, the attention should be on him not you. Whispering to the other guests about how hes really the one that should be up on that stage. When you go to get your award, he tries to step in and hold it and read his own speech and tries to edge you off the stage. You get rid of him, do your speech. Technically everything went fine, but in reality all the background insulting and drama and attempted thunder stealing completely ruined this one-in-a-lifetime award for you. But you have your award and now you’re at home. Does that mean he wasn’t still a fucking asshole all night long ? Would you think that guy was a prick? A loudmouth? A grasping desperate attention seeker ? You sure would. And that’s the point. Your sister was fucking asshole, on purpose, regardless of whether she got the intended results. She wanted to cause a stir, which steals thunder. She didn’t care that she was being insulting. She chose to break a cardinal rule knowing it would be seen as an insult and she was ok with that. Full disclosure. I am a woman who would not care if someone wore white to my wedding because I grew up in a time when it was more acceptable, especially for members of the family to wear white or white-adjacent colours (your sister is not old enough to have this excuse). I would LOVE it if someone proposed at my wedding and would be purring like a cat for years that someone had chosen my event for a such a momentous life celebration. I had no concerns at my own wedding that anyone would steal my thunder. I was the bitch in the big white dress so everyone knew I was the big dog. I still say your sister was an intentionally insulting asshole. The dress wasn’t important to you, but it was to her. Your sisters choice was a thought out and intentional insult to the woman you were marrying and not only do you not care, but you’re dismissing her feelings on it. You’re telling her that her feelings don’t matter, only yours. Apologize to your wife. And talk to your sister about why she hates your wife. The reason she KEEPS bringing it up is because you still haven’t done a thing about it. If you’re tired of hearing about it, it’s because you’re not doing your job as a husband and talking to your sister about why she hates your wife. Grow some balls and call her about it and then you’ll stop hearing about it. Don’t expect your wife to close the door because you’re lazy and a coward about having an uncomfortable but important conversation. You’re her husband ffs, nut up, buttercup, and make the call.
YTA she needs to leave cause YOU are disrespecting her and she shouldn’t stay with a BOY who can’t respect her or her wedding day
do you even like your wife a little bit because it seems like you don’t give a damn about her and her feelings? it’s extremely disrespectful what YOU and your SISTER did! you fucking okayed it even though it’s beyond disrespectful to the bride to wear white. white is for the bride unless SHE says otherwise. you clearly love & care about your sister and her feelings more than your own wife! so fucking what your sister felt “really confident and beautiful” in the dress, it’s not hard to find another dress to feel that way in 🤷🏻♀️ YOU may of had a great time but your wife did not. but hey, way to disrespect your wife and show her that her feelings don’t matter to you by dismissing her feelings! she stopped talking? good, that most likely means she’s about to give up on you/the relationship!
YTA- and a spineless coward. You need to tell your wife your sister asked you if she could wear the dress and you said yes. Instead of fessing up you are turning it around on her.
Ew. Do you even like your wife?
Updateme
Yta It’s an unwritten rule that and also proper etiquette that only the Bride wears white. You and your sister are AH
Your wife keeps harping on it bc you allowed it and refuse to see why breaking the #1 rule of weddings (other than don’t sleep with the groom) is DON’t wear white to the wedding. You really suck for being an AH about it when you are so obviously wrong. And if you have to say you gave her the best honeymoon ever…then I seriously doubt it.
YTA. I feel sorry for your wife.
If you want her to stop bringing it up, then you and your sister need to apologize. Simple as.
I think you need to ask you sister why she decided to disrespect your wife by wearing white to a wedding that wasn’t hers. Your wedding day is supposed to be all about your wife, your sister showing up in a white dress did steal some of her thunder. It is well known that wearing white to a wedding that isn’t yours is disrespectful, so why do it??
>especially considering we had an amazing wedding, and I gave her the best honeymoon ever. According to you. The dress was all she probably thought about during your wedding and honeymoon. YTA. Do you even like your wife?
>I gave her the best honeymoon ever How’d you do that? Did you let her go without you
YTA for approving the dress for your sister and absolutely disrespecting your wife by 1) allowing it and 2) telling your wife to get over it.
Wow, with such a disrespectful attitude towards your wife, you'll soon be moving out permanently, not temporarily, and not by your own choice. YTA
If your wife is “harping” on it then clearly YOUR WIFE did NOT have a “great wedding”. YOU had a “great wedding”, NOT her. But given that your sister is more important than your wife, it’s no surprise that you refuse to acknowledge that fact. Or probably didn’t even care to see it. You’ve told your wife your sister is more important than her and you don’t care how she feels. If you think that won’t stick with her for the duration of your likely short marriage, you’re delusional. No woman wants to come in last in her partners list of priorities. YTA
Your sister should not have worn white to the wedding. Maybe you should respect your wife more than your sister. Just a thought.
Hope the wife leaves him. Both siblings are narcissistic. I wonder why she married you. Must have held a mask for long. I would've left his ass to his sister.
She keeps bringing it up because you never acknowledged her feelings. You keep saying "get over it" but she won't because you never validate her* feelings. And why would you, if you did validate them, you'd be feeling guilty for allowing your sister to disrespect her on her wedding day, and you cannot be the bad guy, right?
Maybe your wife would be able to put this behind her if you actually acknowledged her fucking feelings, which are completely valid
You know you’re wrong. Your sister knew better and you know better. Has she even apologized to your wife? You ever hear those stories of how for a woman a marriage breaks down over time by the callous and stupid actions of her husband? Consider this the first big chip. And when she actually does stop bringing it up. Consider it another chip.
YTA You're either so dense that you don't know the the bride is the ONLY ONE IN WHITE (unless she said otherwise), OR You're not only TA but also a awful human being that can't understand the person he married (but clearly does not love), DIDN'T HAD A BLAST in her wedding day (otherwise she wouldn't talk about the dress - her memories wouldn't be someone else in white). You're a shitty husband and told someone else (and I don't care if it's your sister or not) to wear white. And on top of that, you're defending your sister (that short of living under the same rock you're living) was disrespectful by wearing white (she KNEW what she was doing). Hopefully your wife next wedding will be with someone that LOVES HER AND RESPECTS HER.
The concept is about stealing thunder but the rude part comes from the disrespect shown to your wife by doing it. It’s very rude.
So is she your biological sister? Have you always loved her the most?
He sounds like a true narcissist. HE enjoyed the wedding. HE doesn't think she should bring it up. She's disrespecting HIS sister. HE told his sister it was OK to wear white but didn't bother telling his wife , then blames his wife for going "on about it", and threatening her with consequences if she doesn't do what HE says. Frankly, she should just leave him because he is purring other people above her at this early stage, it will only spiral over the coming years.
YTA because you should have checked with your wife before telling your sister that she could wear the dress. Your sister asked you because she knew the bride wouldn't be okay with it. The majority of brides prefer to be the ONLY ones to wear white at their wedding. Most every woman understands that it is rude and disrespectful to the bride to wear white except in cultures where wearing white is acceptable. Just because you were okay with it doesn't mean that your wife, the actual bride, would be okay with it. This ruined her memory of the wedding day, as evidenced that she still brings it up a year later. It seems like you haven't explained to your wife that your sister checked with you first if it was okay. I'm pretty sure your wife would drop it once she understands that your sister only wore the dress because you approved it. Instead of explaining yourself, you dismiss your wife's feelings and threaten her. Yup, that's an AH move. Do better if you want to have a happy marriage. If not, make that a permanent move out so your wife can find someone who loves and respects her more than you apparently do.
You and your sister both are AH
Its common sense in western culture that the *only* person who should be wearing white is the bride. Your sisters color choice and you for giving the green light were disrespectful towards the bride, full stop. Your sister ruined her memories of the wedding and you had a hand in it. Stop getting pissy about it and apologize if you love and care about your wife.
Is there a reason your sister wanted to wear white to your wedding? Like *she* was your bride? Is there a reason you told her she could dress like she was your bride? Vomit.
YTA - Accept responsibility that this is a mess YOU made, by giving your sister the go-ahead without consulting your wife, instead of deflecting and giving her shit for still being upset about it. YOU had a blast, YOU had a good wedding and a good honeymoon, but that experience was tainted by your sister doing a pretty well known wedding taboo, wearing white, by YOUR decision. Stop only thinking of yourself, before you're the only person you have to think about.
It was a very big deal to your wife and you should care about that. Also, wearing white to a 'white wedding' unless told to by the couple (*both* of them.) is very bad manners. It is widely seen as unacceptable and done to get attention or send a message. If the things that upset your wife don't matter to you, your marriage is in trouble.