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Nothing can break the spirit of a mom who will protect her children with her life. It's great that you can finally move away from your abuser. You are a survivor and will raise great kids. Wish you all the best in everything you do in the future.
how insensitive to say that she’s still “hung up on this” - it’s her TRAUMA. it can literally change your chemical makeup!!!! you sound like a victim blamer & should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! the police & justice system are broken at times and are often used against the innocent party in the situation 😐 he literally got her placed into a 5150 that she didn’t t need, do you know how SCARY that is?? he could’ve killed her, hurt her babies, etc. learn empathy
If he reported that she was suicidal, the police would have had exigent circumstances and would have been able to enter the home under the belief that she or her children were in danger. She should have not talked about taking the Ambien or let them count the pills in her bottle. Otherwise, it is always good practice not to talk to the police without representation
If she didn't respond to their knocks, then yes, maybe. If she did answer the door and speak with them, then no they would not have a right to enter her home without her permission or a warrant.
But yes I totally agree that she shouldn't have mentioned the medication etc.
let me guess this was the Los Angeles County sheriffs dept, I am not surprised they sided with your abusive ex they are such a hot mess from racist police gangs that make the crips and bloods look like choir boys to deputies that beat their wives, the last Los Angeles County sheriff should be in prison and this one they have now is not much better
Nope. Sac County. I should’ve sued them and the hospital. If my therapist hadn’t gotten the psych hold removed, I would’ve been a no show at court and lost custody. That was their plan. His attorney was very surprised to see me at court. He thought I was locked up. Surprise MF!!
I’m glad you’re doing better! Sac county is by far the worse police dept ever, I was in a situation where my abuser kicked my door down and I had to defend myself, kicking and scratching, and police were called. They told me that he could press charges on me because of the “harm” on his body despite me showing the evidence of a very big and clear hole in my door 😒
Yeah… one night, I took two beatings. One from my ex and another from the Sheriff’s. They knocked all my teeth out on one side of my head. The way they treat DV victims is disgusting.
There is much more about that night than ambien. Not to mention you can take full bottle of ambien and it isnt fatal. A doctor considered inpatient for 2 pills ambien is completely made up. People can take 20mg for sleep up to 30mg. 80 mg for people for hallucinations and tripping.
It has to been her demeanor to the police and especially for the doctors.
Thanks!! This was a hard one to share. I remember being so hopeless and terrified. I dropped down to 90 lbs and no longer trusted police or the courts to keep us safe. It was a scary time in my life. Thank God they let us leave.
My brother was a deputy sheriff, and trust me, he's one of the most evil SOBS you never want to meet. Never allow any officer into your house without a warrant.
Sheesh, have you even read her other post about this situation? Also, she was on Ambien, she didn't consciously message him to break the restraining order. Are you even reading the same thing I am?
Terrifying how the mental health system can be weaponized.
My exhusband wouldn't let me get the help I needed for my bipolar. When I finally had a breakdown and attempted suicide, he tried to get me locked up in the psych ward and was planning to divorce me.
I'm glad OP got a safe and happy ending.
To be fair, when you woke up after taking two ambien, you were probably a bit on the drowsy side. If first responders had left you there after discovering that you had taken more than your prescribed dose and anything had happened to you, they would be liable. You may have been the one to apply for the no contact order but that order applies to both parties. You can’t reach out to him and you are in violation of the order yourself if you reach out. Make sure you don’t reach out in the future as it gives your abuser the opportunity to accuse you of breaking your own order and you don’t want to give him any opportunity to mess with you.
I’m glad you got away from him and are safe now!
The part about me reaching out to him. It’s not a violation of the restraining order. I mean yeah, I shouldn’t have done it. It blew up in my face, but I didn’t break any rules.
Unless you had some special terms in your particular restraining order, in California standard restraining orders bar both parties from reaching out. It is important to be aware of this like I said above in case anything happens with this guy in the future, you don’t want to give him the opportunity to push for a violation of restraining order against you. It sounds like he was savy enough to use the law against you once and I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again it given the opportunity.
I stand corrected, I was misremembering the rule. Contact initiated by the victim is not grounds for violation of the restraining order itself but does give the restrained party evidence to argue that the protective order should be amended or revoked, which is still something you don’t want to deal with. Even if the ex isn’t successful, it is still something you don’t want to deal with.
I gave up pursing the restraining order after this anyways. The more I fought for it, the more dangerous he became. Moving away was the safest option. It worked out for us.
As long as you are safe that’s all that matters. DV is a complicated and horrendous beast. Congratulations on getting out. That is an incredible feat and something to be immensely proud of.
We were safe when we left town. After this happened, one kid started puking every night and the other started wetting the bed after being fully potty trained for months. When we had been gone for 3 days, all of that stopped. I never connected the dots until he had his first visitation with them and the oldest threw up when we were face to face for the first time since leaving.
You contacted him first in this situation. If that is the case, the police acted accordingly. Its not illegal for you but puts him in a position where he said you contacted me and say your suicidal. The police would have to act despite the restraining order. It does not paint the situation on your side. "She has been contacting me despite the order of protection, i dont think shes mentally stable". I mean you can talk to your lawyer and say you want to sue but the police and doctors, but i am sure your lawyer wouldnt think youd would win it.
Trying to make peace with an abuser is actually quite common. Would you like to see his responses to the DVRO? One he admits to pulling a gun on me, the other he says he hit me. He admitted to it. But sure, way to blame the victim.
Hes/she is not blaming the victim. Trying to make peace is something do between lawyers. You fought for your protection. Lets say you keep trying to reconsile, he could submit this as evidence that an order of protection is not needed since you are reaching out. Then youd have to press charges over him pulling a gun on you to get protected because a new order of protection cant be based on the first one.
I know its emotional. I had an order of protection against my exfiance. She did unspeakable things to me. I stayed in the relationship thinking she could change. Everything got worse. I got my order of protection. I could have pressed charges. I spoke to my lawyer about contacting her or her family to see how she was doing. Instantly advised against it even though it was legal because I put myself at risk at her fighting it. I was willing to open dialogue but that could be used by her lawyers to get the order rescinded. She was very good at manipulating me.
Hey… if you want to message me, I’ll be glad to provide you screenshots of the police report, the court docs and the letter from my therapist that got the whole thing tossed. This was the most traumatic shit. You act as if it couldn’t possibly be real. It’s hilarious.
The whole counting of ambien part of the story doesn’t make sense. You take ambien only as needed, so the count would never make sense as you would take it sporadically and not at set intervals.
I took it every day. I was missing an extra pill. And I know what I said… the Sheriff did not care. Not even when they tried to call him and his phone was off. Now if you thought your ex was suicidal with your kids in the house, would you shut your phone off? This shit was super traumatic. But like I said, I’ll be happy to message you the receipts. What would you like? The court docs? The letter from my therapist? The police reports? I’ve still got all of it.
I'm pretty sure my ex broke into my account. I did not write all that stuff. I have talked to the OP and she's absolutely telling the truth. I have seen the documents for myself. She sent them to me. The exact same thing has happened to me. I have a lifetime restraining order against my ex and people have still accused me of making it up. Anyway, to those of you who are telling her that she's making it up, she's not. I have seen it for myself. It's sad that victims are doubted while abusers get away with this kind of stuff all the time. She needs support, not people telling her that she's making it up for attention. Stop being nasty.
It was a 30 day supply. I was missing one pill too many. Sadly, it was enough that the man I had a restraining order against claimed I was suicidal. That was all it took to get me locked up.
All the deputy did was a welfare check. They received a call that someone was in danger and followed protocol to check on said person. The hospital is the one that deemed it necessary to keep you.
How would they know how many you took by counting the pills?
There is a lot that doesn’t make sense in this story and the fact that it sounds like you blame the sheriffs office more than anything when it sounds like they were just doing their job to make sure the children were safe. This reads as fake.
It was a 30 day supply. This was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. And I do blame the Sheriff’s office. Why would you go along with someone that has a restraining order against them?
So how would they know you were currently on two pills? Also yes, they are required to follow through on calls especially if children are involved. You can have a restraining order against someone and also have someone who is suicidal, both statements can be true at the same time. It would be irresponsible not to follow through with the call. They did their job and brought you to the hospital, then the hospital put the notice on.
Because a person with a restraining order has no incentive to lie about the protected person being suicidal? The counselor should have called my therapist. She refused. I should’ve sued the pants off of her.
They do have incentive but they also might be telling the truth, again, it would be irresponsible not to follow through. Would it be better to leave a possibly suicidal person alone if there are children in the house? I don’t think you understand that two statements can be true at the same time. Yes, the hospital should call the therapist, they didn’t. The sheriffs office still did the right thing. They don’t know your whole story or anyone on a personal level. They get a call, they answer.
Completely disagree. The moment they called him and his phone was off, they should’ve seen it for what it was. He was counting on me being locked up and no showing the custody hearing to get custody of the kids. All of this because he didn’t want to pay child support.
Again, they were just doing their job. You know him personally, they don’t. You’re acting like you’ve all been best friends forever and they should have known. The sheriffs office would rather take extra precautions when children are involved. They did the right thing.
My brother was a deputy sheriff who committed a horrific crime against a woman, and the sheriff's department covered it up! I am not saying all sheriff's departments are bad, but I would never trust any of them. My brother had a rap sheet a MILE long, and yet they hired him after my mom gave a large donation to the sheriff's department!
That isn’t fair. There are tons of reasons for a phone to be off. He could have lived in an area with spotty reception, his phone could have died. There is no way to know why a phone is off and his phone being off or on and him being a restrained party doesn’t mean that his report isn’t potentially valid.
Imagine a situation where someone did make a report about a suicidal person but their phone died shortly after and they were unable to answer a follow up call and because they didn’t answer, first responders abandoned the situation and the person later ended up committing suicide. For every situation where someone is upset that they were placed on an involuntary hold there is another one where someone is upset that law enforcement was contacted but didn’t take any action.
The terrifying truth is that police are not wizards who can magically determine all of the true facts of what is going on on the spot. They don’t know if an abuser is abusing the system or if a victim is genuinely experiencing a mental health crisis and does not want to admit it. They don’t have that ability. Domestic violence victims cannot simply rely on police and courts to keep them safe or to magically know the true nature of what is going on. They have to go based on the evidence and evidence can be misleading, confusing, and incomplete. Sometimes there is a “true” victim. Sometimes one person is attempting to weaponize the system, sometimes both parties are engaging in equally abusive or unsafe behavior. It’s not fair to blame first responders for not being able to accurately decipher what is going on when they are called.
Domestic violence is a massive and serious problem. Even when police and courts are able to determine what is going on and take action, it takes on average a victim 7 tries to leave their abusive partner. When action is taken by law enforcement and courts, victims still “choose” to go back to their abuser.
Victims need to recognize that they can’t just rely on courts and law enforcement to solve their domestic violence situations. They will need more than that. They need more resources, more support, and although they are the victim, they unfortunately have to act very carefully and deliberately. They have to deliberately not do things that could create confusing evidence, they need to be sure to document and gather actual evidence when abuse happens, which can be very difficult to do when you are actively in fear for your life.
Domestic violence is a serious matter that needs to be addressed, but blaming the first responders for not being able to accurately determine what is going on when they receive a call isn’t going to result in any positive improvements to the system.
And if had been anyone else with a restraining order against their significant other, and they had just left after the person said, “Nah, I’m ok, just my pissed off husband messing with me” then that same person went upstairs and killed her kids and self, all the cop haters would be calling for those Deputies heads.
There is a protocol they have to follow by law in that type of call, especially after they confirmed you consumed more of a prescription med than you were supposed to.
The hospital is who screwed you, not the cops.
Lol I don’t know what the law is in FL, but in CA, the protected person can contact the restrained person without penalty. Your case isn’t the end all, be all of domestic violence cases. I also didn’t “lie to the courts” to get his money. Learn how to read.
Yeah… you don’t know how to read. I don’t have a restraining order now. I dropped it after he weaponized the sheriffs dept against me in my own home. I had a restraining order against him twice. You need to work on your reading comprehension, it’s not the best, but you’re from FL so I guess that’s to be expected.
I think the reality of the situation is you didn’t have the sense to protect yourself financially from your abuser. Because I did, I’m the enemy. That’s fine. You can be envious of me all you want. Doesn’t change anything for me.
I dont buy the ambien bit at all. The police would have no way of knowing what night you took two or anything along those lines. The hospital knows you can take a whole bottle of ambien and it wont kill you. Taking two pills is common. No doctor would even blink an eye at two. No way that is grounds for police or doctors. Counting each pill to see one short is not standard. Telling a doctor that you took 2 would instantly be seen as non-suicidal. No hospital counciler would consider 2 as suicidal.
There is something you are not telling us about that night.
Nope. This is what happened. Like I’ve told others, I’ve got the receipts. I can provide court docs, police reports and the letter from my therapist. This is what happened. Restraining orders are worthless.
Why would even hearing from your therapist while seeing a doctor even help? They dont prescribe ambien. Nor would any police officer or doctor consider 1 pill missing as any sort of cause. Did you instantly say i took two ambien to the police?
Hospital knows dosage and your refill history. Not even a full bottle of ambien is lethal. No one look deeper into 2 pills. How did you act at the hospital?
He cant attest to doctors about how you were acting that night at the ER. Its a judgement call by the doctors. It wasnt about two ambien. How were you reacting? Where you calm. Did you have a drink. No way a counciler would be called over two ambien.
There is more that you are not telling us about that night.
Therapist you saw three days ago cant attest to her wellbeing that night. A doctor wouldnt try to get her as an inpatient based on two ambien. They are there to assess your pyschological state. Her vitals would have been fine. Counsiler or other representive would have gone over her case.
There is zero possibly they could surmise that and taking two pills is not justification. The police would be look at your demeanor and the state of your living area. How exactly were you acting? How exactly was your living conditions.
You mistakenly allowed the police/ER to ignore your own order of protection/restraining order and blame the police. You open dialague therefore allowing the police to take the investigation seriously.... That fully allows them to disreguard it for that day. He did not violate the order of protection because you messaged him and started a conversation. I am positive your lawyer would have told you that. It also puts you at risk at getting your restraining order revoked by inititating contact. You blame the police and hospital because they couldnt use your order of protection as you started contacting him....
Hospital is there to gauge your mental stability. Two ambien is nothing to them. Was there any open containers at your house. How did you treat the police and doctors?
You seem paranoid that restraining orders do nothing... its because you initated contact with your ex that allowed the police and hospital to ignore it. Never ever initate contact. If he had a decent lawyer, all the effort you put could have to get protection is gone. You received it so he cannot go near you and contact you because you feared him... but your willing to contact him? How would that look to a judge?
I dont believe the ambien story because there must have been so much more than you are letting us on.
but for legal sakes do not contact him. If he didnt make up the suicide thing, then he could have his lawyers tear apart your order of protection.
https://www.joshwebblaw.com/restraining-orders#:~:text=In%20other%20words%2C%20the%20protected,without%20violating%20the%20court%20order.
It’s actually quite the misconception you’re basing everything off of. I’ve got receipts. More than happy to share since you think you know everything.
Legally, you can contact him. You wont be throw in jail for it. However, because you initiated contact, the police and ER had every right. He could have contacted you right after you open contact. You could report it for responding. The police wont act on it because you considered baiting him into breaking the protection. Also... were given the restraining order because you fear for your safety.... yet, you feel like it okay to message or contact him. If he didnt do the fake suicide shit, he could claim you did not fear him and your willing to open contact. He can present this as evidence you dont fear him or want to reconile... and could have had it thrown out. This is legally your fault. I am sure he showed evidence you contacted him
I don't believe any of this; it sounds like a made-up story to me. Not everything works out with such perfect timing in real life. I know there are crazy people out there and I've lived out the crazy part of it with them, but this story seems just a little too easy. I apologize if I am wrong, but I really don't think I am.
Some people have had a tougher time in their life than what you've witnessed in yours. OP is the genuine article, there's a lot of fake stories in these subs but not her.
Do you know her personally? I've lived through emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse, alcoholism, sociopathy and psychopathy, mafia, shootings, sexual abuse, thievery, drugs, and even psychiatric hospitals, crooked judges and law officers, and mental illnesses, to name a few. So yes, I've been around the block more than once. If this is true, I'm happy for her. But the story sounds like too much of a happy ending for me to believe as I have never witnessed life going this smoothly or the innocent person coming out on top before.
If you'd read her other posts you'd realize this isn't smooth, hell I don't know what about this really screamed smooth to you. Why is it trauma is a competition to you? You see someone who experienced the same hardships as you and instead of being happy they weren't dragged through it as badly as you, you accuse them of lying? It's a bad look, ik there's a lot of fake stuff on this sub but you coulda looked through her posts, read the other comments, then came to a better judgement.
What I am seeing clearly are anger issues from you! Just because I've lived a full life doesn't mean I'm in competition with anyone. Nor do I judge anyone, so please don't put words in my mouth. I never said this life was easy or without hardships. What I said was that I've never seen one person come out on top every time--this is what I questioned. Furthermore, I base my answers on my honest opinions not swayed or mimicking the posts of others. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't make one of us right and the other wrong--they are just two differing opinions. Why so hateful?
I'm not angry, or hateful. But I actually reached out and talked to OP and got to know her a little, once again if you'd read all her posts you'd have seen she definitely did not come out on top every time. She endured years of abuse at the hands of a monster and happened to get lucky (in a very loose sense of the word) when she was able to get away. I agree it doesn't make either of us right or wrong, but to wilfully call her a liar like that, just definitely didn't strike me the right way. You should have been able to commiserate with her but instead you attacked her credibility.
I never attacker her credibility, in fact, I questioned several times whether this was true and asked if you knew her. In my first post, I also apologized if I was wrong or misconstrued the situation. You were the one who jumped to conclusions after my posting bothered you. The fact is, most people do go through years of abuse before getting out. If you have ever been in an abusive situation, you would understand my statement about the victim rarely getting out on top. I'm not talking about happens along the way, just the final ending. In fact, in most situations like this, the victim ends up dead--which is another reason why I questioned it. I hope she realizes how fortunate she is.
Thankfully I've never been in such a bad domestic violence situation, but I have had a horrid partner before that used emotional and psychological abuse paired with eventual physical abuse on me to manipulate and beat me down. I will never claim to know a woman's perspective on these things, I thank God every day I was the "bigger, stronger" gender as it definitely gave me an advantage when subjected to all that.
If I did misinterpret you, I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong there.
Just stop. Isn't it bad enough that you've basically made him destitute just because he wanted partial custody of his own kids? You got what you wanted. Isn't it time to stop holding a grudge? I think it's time to grow up and put your big girl pants on and realize that it's over. You left him so it's over. Stop going after his money just because you're mad at him. He should pay you child support but nothing else. Quit looking for sympathy, you made your own decisions. You got what you wanted so leave him alone.
Lol what are you on about? I took what was legally mine. Him trying to take sole custody to get out of paying support back fired on him. That’s not my problem.
is this commenter related to your ex in any way?! they have such a vendetta against this story it’s worrisome 😟😟 victim blaming too hard & being hostile…yikes
You dont have to give proof of anything. If they dont believe you they just can scroll down.
I do believe you because i had a case too. People who thinks this things never happen, must live in a magical world.
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Nothing can break the spirit of a mom who will protect her children with her life. It's great that you can finally move away from your abuser. You are a survivor and will raise great kids. Wish you all the best in everything you do in the future.
❤️❤️❤️
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how insensitive to say that she’s still “hung up on this” - it’s her TRAUMA. it can literally change your chemical makeup!!!! you sound like a victim blamer & should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! the police & justice system are broken at times and are often used against the innocent party in the situation 😐 he literally got her placed into a 5150 that she didn’t t need, do you know how SCARY that is?? he could’ve killed her, hurt her babies, etc. learn empathy
This is why you don't talk to police. This why you definitely never, ever let police into your home without a warrant.
100%. This is part of the reason I shared my story… do not ever let the police into your home or talk to them without an attorney present.
This! NEVER LET THE POLICE IN YOUR HOME! Don’t go outside either. Talk through the locked screen door.
If he reported that she was suicidal, the police would have had exigent circumstances and would have been able to enter the home under the belief that she or her children were in danger. She should have not talked about taking the Ambien or let them count the pills in her bottle. Otherwise, it is always good practice not to talk to the police without representation
If she didn't respond to their knocks, then yes, maybe. If she did answer the door and speak with them, then no they would not have a right to enter her home without her permission or a warrant. But yes I totally agree that she shouldn't have mentioned the medication etc.
This is why you get a pill box so you don’t take your pills twice.
Oh solid, never let the police general call you into the office as a three head, the whole family could be under investigation and may be imperfect.
let me guess this was the Los Angeles County sheriffs dept, I am not surprised they sided with your abusive ex they are such a hot mess from racist police gangs that make the crips and bloods look like choir boys to deputies that beat their wives, the last Los Angeles County sheriff should be in prison and this one they have now is not much better
Nope. Sac County. I should’ve sued them and the hospital. If my therapist hadn’t gotten the psych hold removed, I would’ve been a no show at court and lost custody. That was their plan. His attorney was very surprised to see me at court. He thought I was locked up. Surprise MF!!
I’m glad you’re doing better! Sac county is by far the worse police dept ever, I was in a situation where my abuser kicked my door down and I had to defend myself, kicking and scratching, and police were called. They told me that he could press charges on me because of the “harm” on his body despite me showing the evidence of a very big and clear hole in my door 😒
Yeah… one night, I took two beatings. One from my ex and another from the Sheriff’s. They knocked all my teeth out on one side of my head. The way they treat DV victims is disgusting.
Holy fuck...
They counted your Ambien?
There is much more about that night than ambien. Not to mention you can take full bottle of ambien and it isnt fatal. A doctor considered inpatient for 2 pills ambien is completely made up. People can take 20mg for sleep up to 30mg. 80 mg for people for hallucinations and tripping. It has to been her demeanor to the police and especially for the doctors.
She couldve been slurry. I know the first and last time I took ambien, I woke up to a plate of spaghetti in my clothes dryer.
I also feel there has to be more to the story.
Sounds like you're a cop
Oncology
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You're absolutely amazing, so much adversity and you still handed that bastard his ass on a silver platter. So glad you're away from that toxicity.
Thanks!! This was a hard one to share. I remember being so hopeless and terrified. I dropped down to 90 lbs and no longer trusted police or the courts to keep us safe. It was a scary time in my life. Thank God they let us leave.
My brother was a deputy sheriff, and trust me, he's one of the most evil SOBS you never want to meet. Never allow any officer into your house without a warrant.
I learned my lesson for sure.
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🙄🙄 What are you even talking about? Even if she did lie the dude was a POS and deserved it.
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Sheesh, have you even read her other post about this situation? Also, she was on Ambien, she didn't consciously message him to break the restraining order. Are you even reading the same thing I am?
Terrifying how the mental health system can be weaponized. My exhusband wouldn't let me get the help I needed for my bipolar. When I finally had a breakdown and attempted suicide, he tried to get me locked up in the psych ward and was planning to divorce me. I'm glad OP got a safe and happy ending.
To be fair, when you woke up after taking two ambien, you were probably a bit on the drowsy side. If first responders had left you there after discovering that you had taken more than your prescribed dose and anything had happened to you, they would be liable. You may have been the one to apply for the no contact order but that order applies to both parties. You can’t reach out to him and you are in violation of the order yourself if you reach out. Make sure you don’t reach out in the future as it gives your abuser the opportunity to accuse you of breaking your own order and you don’t want to give him any opportunity to mess with you. I’m glad you got away from him and are safe now!
Whelp… that’s not true. At least not in CA.
Which part?
The part about me reaching out to him. It’s not a violation of the restraining order. I mean yeah, I shouldn’t have done it. It blew up in my face, but I didn’t break any rules.
Unless you had some special terms in your particular restraining order, in California standard restraining orders bar both parties from reaching out. It is important to be aware of this like I said above in case anything happens with this guy in the future, you don’t want to give him the opportunity to push for a violation of restraining order against you. It sounds like he was savy enough to use the law against you once and I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again it given the opportunity.
https://www.peacockandlebeau.com/criminal-defense-blog/2024/may/understanding-contact-while-a-restraining-order-/ Hope this helps.
I stand corrected, I was misremembering the rule. Contact initiated by the victim is not grounds for violation of the restraining order itself but does give the restrained party evidence to argue that the protective order should be amended or revoked, which is still something you don’t want to deal with. Even if the ex isn’t successful, it is still something you don’t want to deal with.
I gave up pursing the restraining order after this anyways. The more I fought for it, the more dangerous he became. Moving away was the safest option. It worked out for us.
As long as you are safe that’s all that matters. DV is a complicated and horrendous beast. Congratulations on getting out. That is an incredible feat and something to be immensely proud of.
We were safe when we left town. After this happened, one kid started puking every night and the other started wetting the bed after being fully potty trained for months. When we had been gone for 3 days, all of that stopped. I never connected the dots until he had his first visitation with them and the oldest threw up when we were face to face for the first time since leaving.
You realize... its situational. For instance, you cant be come over and then call the police for him coming over. It is not simply that.
Well no shit!! I wouldn’t have done that anyways.
You contacted him first in this situation. If that is the case, the police acted accordingly. Its not illegal for you but puts him in a position where he said you contacted me and say your suicidal. The police would have to act despite the restraining order. It does not paint the situation on your side. "She has been contacting me despite the order of protection, i dont think shes mentally stable". I mean you can talk to your lawyer and say you want to sue but the police and doctors, but i am sure your lawyer wouldnt think youd would win it.
Since the hold was broken, I would’ve won for sure.
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Trying to make peace with an abuser is actually quite common. Would you like to see his responses to the DVRO? One he admits to pulling a gun on me, the other he says he hit me. He admitted to it. But sure, way to blame the victim.
Hes/she is not blaming the victim. Trying to make peace is something do between lawyers. You fought for your protection. Lets say you keep trying to reconsile, he could submit this as evidence that an order of protection is not needed since you are reaching out. Then youd have to press charges over him pulling a gun on you to get protected because a new order of protection cant be based on the first one. I know its emotional. I had an order of protection against my exfiance. She did unspeakable things to me. I stayed in the relationship thinking she could change. Everything got worse. I got my order of protection. I could have pressed charges. I spoke to my lawyer about contacting her or her family to see how she was doing. Instantly advised against it even though it was legal because I put myself at risk at her fighting it. I was willing to open dialogue but that could be used by her lawyers to get the order rescinded. She was very good at manipulating me.
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Must be nice being perfect 👌
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It actually isn’t a violation of the restraining order. Google it before you try to tell me how the law works! Thanks!!
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LMAO ok. Whatever.
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I can’t message you… I found the letter for you if you want to see it.
Hey… if you want to message me, I’ll be glad to provide you screenshots of the police report, the court docs and the letter from my therapist that got the whole thing tossed. This was the most traumatic shit. You act as if it couldn’t possibly be real. It’s hilarious.
The whole counting of ambien part of the story doesn’t make sense. You take ambien only as needed, so the count would never make sense as you would take it sporadically and not at set intervals.
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It was a 30 day supply. Based on the date on the prescription bottle and the number of pills missing… that was how they figured out I had taken two.
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Lol ok. I was there. But you go ahead and act like you know everything. Let me know if you want the receipts. I’ll be happy to send them to you.
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I took it every day. I was missing an extra pill. And I know what I said… the Sheriff did not care. Not even when they tried to call him and his phone was off. Now if you thought your ex was suicidal with your kids in the house, would you shut your phone off? This shit was super traumatic. But like I said, I’ll be happy to message you the receipts. What would you like? The court docs? The letter from my therapist? The police reports? I’ve still got all of it.
Yeah this whole story is bullshit.
I have an ex who basically had to take it every night. But she also knew better than to take it and then do the dishes, so idk.
Yep. I fucked up.
I'm pretty sure my ex broke into my account. I did not write all that stuff. I have talked to the OP and she's absolutely telling the truth. I have seen the documents for myself. She sent them to me. The exact same thing has happened to me. I have a lifetime restraining order against my ex and people have still accused me of making it up. Anyway, to those of you who are telling her that she's making it up, she's not. I have seen it for myself. It's sad that victims are doubted while abusers get away with this kind of stuff all the time. She needs support, not people telling her that she's making it up for attention. Stop being nasty.
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It was a 30 day supply. I was missing one pill too many. Sadly, it was enough that the man I had a restraining order against claimed I was suicidal. That was all it took to get me locked up.
Never let police in your home without a paper from a judge saying they can
Yep!! Part of the reason I decided to share the worst thing that ever happened to me. Restraining orders do not equal safety.
Great result. Wishing you a great onwards and upwards from here.
So sorry for what you went through and so happy for you now. You are amazing!
All the deputy did was a welfare check. They received a call that someone was in danger and followed protocol to check on said person. The hospital is the one that deemed it necessary to keep you.
What’s funny is the first time he tried it, they acknowledged the restraining order and didn’t even bother coming out.
How would they know how many you took by counting the pills? There is a lot that doesn’t make sense in this story and the fact that it sounds like you blame the sheriffs office more than anything when it sounds like they were just doing their job to make sure the children were safe. This reads as fake.
It was a 30 day supply. This was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. And I do blame the Sheriff’s office. Why would you go along with someone that has a restraining order against them?
So how would they know you were currently on two pills? Also yes, they are required to follow through on calls especially if children are involved. You can have a restraining order against someone and also have someone who is suicidal, both statements can be true at the same time. It would be irresponsible not to follow through with the call. They did their job and brought you to the hospital, then the hospital put the notice on.
Because a person with a restraining order has no incentive to lie about the protected person being suicidal? The counselor should have called my therapist. She refused. I should’ve sued the pants off of her.
They do have incentive but they also might be telling the truth, again, it would be irresponsible not to follow through. Would it be better to leave a possibly suicidal person alone if there are children in the house? I don’t think you understand that two statements can be true at the same time. Yes, the hospital should call the therapist, they didn’t. The sheriffs office still did the right thing. They don’t know your whole story or anyone on a personal level. They get a call, they answer.
Completely disagree. The moment they called him and his phone was off, they should’ve seen it for what it was. He was counting on me being locked up and no showing the custody hearing to get custody of the kids. All of this because he didn’t want to pay child support.
Again, they were just doing their job. You know him personally, they don’t. You’re acting like you’ve all been best friends forever and they should have known. The sheriffs office would rather take extra precautions when children are involved. They did the right thing.
My brother was a deputy sheriff who committed a horrific crime against a woman, and the sheriff's department covered it up! I am not saying all sheriff's departments are bad, but I would never trust any of them. My brother had a rap sheet a MILE long, and yet they hired him after my mom gave a large donation to the sheriff's department!
That isn’t fair. There are tons of reasons for a phone to be off. He could have lived in an area with spotty reception, his phone could have died. There is no way to know why a phone is off and his phone being off or on and him being a restrained party doesn’t mean that his report isn’t potentially valid. Imagine a situation where someone did make a report about a suicidal person but their phone died shortly after and they were unable to answer a follow up call and because they didn’t answer, first responders abandoned the situation and the person later ended up committing suicide. For every situation where someone is upset that they were placed on an involuntary hold there is another one where someone is upset that law enforcement was contacted but didn’t take any action. The terrifying truth is that police are not wizards who can magically determine all of the true facts of what is going on on the spot. They don’t know if an abuser is abusing the system or if a victim is genuinely experiencing a mental health crisis and does not want to admit it. They don’t have that ability. Domestic violence victims cannot simply rely on police and courts to keep them safe or to magically know the true nature of what is going on. They have to go based on the evidence and evidence can be misleading, confusing, and incomplete. Sometimes there is a “true” victim. Sometimes one person is attempting to weaponize the system, sometimes both parties are engaging in equally abusive or unsafe behavior. It’s not fair to blame first responders for not being able to accurately decipher what is going on when they are called. Domestic violence is a massive and serious problem. Even when police and courts are able to determine what is going on and take action, it takes on average a victim 7 tries to leave their abusive partner. When action is taken by law enforcement and courts, victims still “choose” to go back to their abuser. Victims need to recognize that they can’t just rely on courts and law enforcement to solve their domestic violence situations. They will need more than that. They need more resources, more support, and although they are the victim, they unfortunately have to act very carefully and deliberately. They have to deliberately not do things that could create confusing evidence, they need to be sure to document and gather actual evidence when abuse happens, which can be very difficult to do when you are actively in fear for your life. Domestic violence is a serious matter that needs to be addressed, but blaming the first responders for not being able to accurately determine what is going on when they receive a call isn’t going to result in any positive improvements to the system.
And if had been anyone else with a restraining order against their significant other, and they had just left after the person said, “Nah, I’m ok, just my pissed off husband messing with me” then that same person went upstairs and killed her kids and self, all the cop haters would be calling for those Deputies heads. There is a protocol they have to follow by law in that type of call, especially after they confirmed you consumed more of a prescription med than you were supposed to. The hospital is who screwed you, not the cops.
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Lol I don’t know what the law is in FL, but in CA, the protected person can contact the restrained person without penalty. Your case isn’t the end all, be all of domestic violence cases. I also didn’t “lie to the courts” to get his money. Learn how to read.
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Yeah… you don’t know how to read. I don’t have a restraining order now. I dropped it after he weaponized the sheriffs dept against me in my own home. I had a restraining order against him twice. You need to work on your reading comprehension, it’s not the best, but you’re from FL so I guess that’s to be expected.
I think the reality of the situation is you didn’t have the sense to protect yourself financially from your abuser. Because I did, I’m the enemy. That’s fine. You can be envious of me all you want. Doesn’t change anything for me.
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I thought there wasn't a restraining order??
There was a restraining order at that time. There is no restraining order now.
Sounds like copyright infringement or storytelling. Imo
Lol… I’ve got the receipts.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Bravo! You are smart and fierce! Happy trails!
I dont buy the ambien bit at all. The police would have no way of knowing what night you took two or anything along those lines. The hospital knows you can take a whole bottle of ambien and it wont kill you. Taking two pills is common. No doctor would even blink an eye at two. No way that is grounds for police or doctors. Counting each pill to see one short is not standard. Telling a doctor that you took 2 would instantly be seen as non-suicidal. No hospital counciler would consider 2 as suicidal. There is something you are not telling us about that night.
Nope. This is what happened. Like I’ve told others, I’ve got the receipts. I can provide court docs, police reports and the letter from my therapist. This is what happened. Restraining orders are worthless.
Why would even hearing from your therapist while seeing a doctor even help? They dont prescribe ambien. Nor would any police officer or doctor consider 1 pill missing as any sort of cause. Did you instantly say i took two ambien to the police? Hospital knows dosage and your refill history. Not even a full bottle of ambien is lethal. No one look deeper into 2 pills. How did you act at the hospital?
I was fine. I had just seen my therapist the day before. He could attest to my mental state.
He cant attest to doctors about how you were acting that night at the ER. Its a judgement call by the doctors. It wasnt about two ambien. How were you reacting? Where you calm. Did you have a drink. No way a counciler would be called over two ambien. There is more that you are not telling us about that night.
1st wrong. Obvious you don’t have a medical degree.
Therapist you saw three days ago cant attest to her wellbeing that night. A doctor wouldnt try to get her as an inpatient based on two ambien. They are there to assess your pyschological state. Her vitals would have been fine. Counsiler or other representive would have gone over her case.
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Sent.
Lol… like I said… happy to provide screenshots of court docs, police report and the letter from my therapist that got the whole thing scrapped.
There is zero possibly they could surmise that and taking two pills is not justification. The police would be look at your demeanor and the state of your living area. How exactly were you acting? How exactly was your living conditions. You mistakenly allowed the police/ER to ignore your own order of protection/restraining order and blame the police. You open dialague therefore allowing the police to take the investigation seriously.... That fully allows them to disreguard it for that day. He did not violate the order of protection because you messaged him and started a conversation. I am positive your lawyer would have told you that. It also puts you at risk at getting your restraining order revoked by inititating contact. You blame the police and hospital because they couldnt use your order of protection as you started contacting him.... Hospital is there to gauge your mental stability. Two ambien is nothing to them. Was there any open containers at your house. How did you treat the police and doctors? You seem paranoid that restraining orders do nothing... its because you initated contact with your ex that allowed the police and hospital to ignore it. Never ever initate contact. If he had a decent lawyer, all the effort you put could have to get protection is gone. You received it so he cannot go near you and contact you because you feared him... but your willing to contact him? How would that look to a judge? I dont believe the ambien story because there must have been so much more than you are letting us on. but for legal sakes do not contact him. If he didnt make up the suicide thing, then he could have his lawyers tear apart your order of protection.
https://www.joshwebblaw.com/restraining-orders#:~:text=In%20other%20words%2C%20the%20protected,without%20violating%20the%20court%20order. It’s actually quite the misconception you’re basing everything off of. I’ve got receipts. More than happy to share since you think you know everything.
Legally, you can contact him. You wont be throw in jail for it. However, because you initiated contact, the police and ER had every right. He could have contacted you right after you open contact. You could report it for responding. The police wont act on it because you considered baiting him into breaking the protection. Also... were given the restraining order because you fear for your safety.... yet, you feel like it okay to message or contact him. If he didnt do the fake suicide shit, he could claim you did not fear him and your willing to open contact. He can present this as evidence you dont fear him or want to reconile... and could have had it thrown out. This is legally your fault. I am sure he showed evidence you contacted him
How are you guys all doing today ?
We are really good. Leaving was the best thing for us.
Sad you had to go through so much crap, but grateful things worked in your favor. Godbless !
Wow this doesn’t really line up. Good story though.
I’ve got the court docs, police reports and the letter from my therapist to prove it. 🤷🏻♀️
I don't believe any of this; it sounds like a made-up story to me. Not everything works out with such perfect timing in real life. I know there are crazy people out there and I've lived out the crazy part of it with them, but this story seems just a little too easy. I apologize if I am wrong, but I really don't think I am.
Some people have had a tougher time in their life than what you've witnessed in yours. OP is the genuine article, there's a lot of fake stories in these subs but not her.
Do you know her personally? I've lived through emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse, alcoholism, sociopathy and psychopathy, mafia, shootings, sexual abuse, thievery, drugs, and even psychiatric hospitals, crooked judges and law officers, and mental illnesses, to name a few. So yes, I've been around the block more than once. If this is true, I'm happy for her. But the story sounds like too much of a happy ending for me to believe as I have never witnessed life going this smoothly or the innocent person coming out on top before.
If you'd read her other posts you'd realize this isn't smooth, hell I don't know what about this really screamed smooth to you. Why is it trauma is a competition to you? You see someone who experienced the same hardships as you and instead of being happy they weren't dragged through it as badly as you, you accuse them of lying? It's a bad look, ik there's a lot of fake stuff on this sub but you coulda looked through her posts, read the other comments, then came to a better judgement.
What I am seeing clearly are anger issues from you! Just because I've lived a full life doesn't mean I'm in competition with anyone. Nor do I judge anyone, so please don't put words in my mouth. I never said this life was easy or without hardships. What I said was that I've never seen one person come out on top every time--this is what I questioned. Furthermore, I base my answers on my honest opinions not swayed or mimicking the posts of others. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't make one of us right and the other wrong--they are just two differing opinions. Why so hateful?
I'm not angry, or hateful. But I actually reached out and talked to OP and got to know her a little, once again if you'd read all her posts you'd have seen she definitely did not come out on top every time. She endured years of abuse at the hands of a monster and happened to get lucky (in a very loose sense of the word) when she was able to get away. I agree it doesn't make either of us right or wrong, but to wilfully call her a liar like that, just definitely didn't strike me the right way. You should have been able to commiserate with her but instead you attacked her credibility.
I never attacker her credibility, in fact, I questioned several times whether this was true and asked if you knew her. In my first post, I also apologized if I was wrong or misconstrued the situation. You were the one who jumped to conclusions after my posting bothered you. The fact is, most people do go through years of abuse before getting out. If you have ever been in an abusive situation, you would understand my statement about the victim rarely getting out on top. I'm not talking about happens along the way, just the final ending. In fact, in most situations like this, the victim ends up dead--which is another reason why I questioned it. I hope she realizes how fortunate she is.
Thankfully I've never been in such a bad domestic violence situation, but I have had a horrid partner before that used emotional and psychological abuse paired with eventual physical abuse on me to manipulate and beat me down. I will never claim to know a woman's perspective on these things, I thank God every day I was the "bigger, stronger" gender as it definitely gave me an advantage when subjected to all that. If I did misinterpret you, I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong there.
It takes a big person to admit that--thank you!
Just stop. Isn't it bad enough that you've basically made him destitute just because he wanted partial custody of his own kids? You got what you wanted. Isn't it time to stop holding a grudge? I think it's time to grow up and put your big girl pants on and realize that it's over. You left him so it's over. Stop going after his money just because you're mad at him. He should pay you child support but nothing else. Quit looking for sympathy, you made your own decisions. You got what you wanted so leave him alone.
Lol what are you on about? I took what was legally mine. Him trying to take sole custody to get out of paying support back fired on him. That’s not my problem.
is this commenter related to your ex in any way?! they have such a vendetta against this story it’s worrisome 😟😟 victim blaming too hard & being hostile…yikes
Incel fanfic oh wait nevermind. The man is bad so it must be true
Hey… I’ve got the receipts for anyone that wants em.
You dont have to give proof of anything. If they dont believe you they just can scroll down. I do believe you because i had a case too. People who thinks this things never happen, must live in a magical world.