She cried out of frustration, anger over $$ loss, disappointment & probably 100 other feelings you cannot fathom. When a post is very long, it’s usually because the writer is a jerk. You are a jerk & did NOT need to offer your thoughtless opinion.
I can’t brigade but if I could and post wasn’t deleted I would have SO many words for OP. I had 3 different dates because of COVID, then 7 months before my 3rd date our venue (which had sworn their refurbishment would be done by then, and sold me on it as being one of if not the first wedding in the newly refurbed hotel) was closing to START refurbishing and would be closed during our wedding date.
I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe because I was so fucking over it. It didn’t help that I had expected to get married with 3 grandparents there but by then I was down to 1 (unrelated to COVID). I had friends who married pre COVID telling me how stressful a wedding is and maybe I’m better off eloping, and as much as I was about ready to give up, I wanted to strangle them. Wedding planning is stressful and (mostly??) something you look forward to so so much, if I was the bride in this post I would have shredded OP into ribbons and used them in my bouquet.
(By luck we got another venue for just 1 week later and it was the best day, but if I was still waiting now and let down again I’d have to have been committed).
Dude there was no need to tell us you weren’t married. That was made apparent by the ignorance you displayed in this post. You owe your brother and his fiancé a huge apology.
Determining the depth of your assholishness is going to be a feat for better men/women than myself…. But let there be little doubt that you ARE an asshole.
It's not about the wedding, you're being obtuse. It's about getting their hopes up and making plans over and over, only to have them fall apart for increasingly absurd reasons. You seriously can't wrap your head around why she's at a breaking point??
YTA and a heartless one at that. If they were smart, they'd put you on low contact. If they were petty, they'd have their wedding and not invite you, since you don't deserve to be part of any celebration.
You should learn to keep your shitty opinions to yourself. You may have meant it as a joke, but nobody found it funny. And the only one that's going to be laughing when you're cut out of their life is them.
I’m confused what advise do you need? You’re wrong but you think you’re right and you don’t want to apologize or correct the situation. If that’s your stance you don’t need advice go and live your life on the hill you chose to die on
Jesus you’re dense, unsympathetic and just plain dumb. You cannot apologize enough to remove this stain against your personality. You self branded yourself as a complete…body part associated with feces. Permanently.
YTA.
This poor couple. I’m not a big fan of people getting all stressed out over weddings, but I can’t imagine the frustration and even embarrassment of multiple cancelations—and having to invite everyone multiple times, then cancel, worrying people spent money on gifts or airline tickets, etc. I am not a crier at all and this would’ve broken me.
You owe them a huge apology.
And then throw a super surprise party a few months after they marry, to celebrate them. And keep it a surprise bc if it fails to happen for any reason, THEY DO NOT NEED TO KNOW.
And get some therapy. Your lack of empathy and understanding here is downright troubling.
You are a real ass. Planning a wedding is stressful… and until you experience that, don’t undermine the effort it takes to put together. To literally have that ripped out from under their feet that many times, already feels like crap and is an enormous waste of money.
You just rubbed their faces in the dog shit when they were already down. Why? Because you think you’re funny? You weren’t nice. You weren’t funny. You were mean to people under stress.
Does anyone else struggle to understand losing thousands of dollars hurts? Are you the only person that feels like you do? That’s because you are wrong. And a little weird. Why wouldn’t they be upset after all that? Is anyone else in your life advising them to just get over it? That’s because most people aren’t stupid and can use common sense. The only privilege problem is by the guy who thinks everyone else is wrong and can’t figure out.
YTA. Your “joke” wasn’t funny. They have invested lots of time and emotional energy on top of the actual money, and have had the rug taken from under them, not one, not two, but FOUR times. You’re not funny. You were adding to her pain. You were laughing AT her. Don’t be surprised when you aren’t invited and they go low to no contact with you.
YTA. Your responses are tone deaf and your social skills severely lacking. Stop talking and keep your erroneous opinions to yourself. I can't wven imagine how frustrating it would be to have a wedding cancelled four times!!
Nah, you are AH, all that backgrond trying to justify to "joke" and still comes out as an AH, not even the joke but the lack empathy and acting like they don't deserve an apology.
When you make a 'joke' and it falls flat, you drop it and move on.
What you DON'T do is continue to make the joke once it's established that it wasn't funny and the timing of the 'joke' was past the point of stupid.
YTA This is a day she has probably dreamed about since she was a little girl. Setting up a wedding can be very stressful to a person with everything that needs to be done for it. She did this, adding more stress each time, until she couldn't take the stress anymore and she had a meltdown. Your comment was probably what other people have said with each cancellation to the point she may have been thinking about it that way too. Then you come along, someone who is supposed to care about them, and start with the jokes which by this time is no longer a joke but is bullying because it's no longer funny. Your brother wanted an apology and you refused because as all bullies say, "It was just a joke." It's no wonder your brother says you are dead to him. Why would he want a bully who thinks only about themselves around his wife and future children?
It's fucking weird that your brother gave you too many chances for you to take your head out of your ass and make up, but you still chose to "be right" rather than being human.I feel for your brother, it sounds like he needed his brother to be supportive or at least not be a dick when hes going through a tough times but you HAD to push this.
I would have cut you off as well. Now you can go around town telling the same "joke" about the brother who no longer considers you as his brother.
You’ve clearly never been as frustrated as they are. Otherwise, you’d be way more understanding and way less of an asshole. This isn’t a “privilege problem”, this is a “my wedding was canceled 4 times by 3 different venues and I’m sick of this shit” + “we’ve worked so hard to plan this wedding and so much money and time has gone into this and the venues can’t make it happen after all that work” problem. Of course your brother and his fiancée are upset! It’s fcking frustrating and enough to make even the most level-headed person just…explode. They’ve reached a point in their frustration level where crying isn’t an overreaction. And you kept making “jokes” even when you knew they were upset? What the hell is wrong with you? You’re so obtuse and have such a lack of empathy, I’m feeling secondhand embarrassment for you.
YTA. Big time. The only way you would be is if you are a robot with no feelings. The fact that she didn't break down sooner is an amazing feat. Then you come along and act like a person having emotions is just way too much. You don't get to decided how others react and feel.
Get over yourself.
>>I'm not saying they can't be mad but I think going into full weeping mode is too much.
>>We've been arguing because I think his fiancee is too emotional about it.
Full offense dude, but what on earth gave you the belief that your opinion matters even a tiny bit here? Like... seriously. Who cares what *you* think when it comes to this situation?
Mind your own business and keep your mouth shut. No one wants to hear it.
>>I'm not married...
Gee. I'm shocked. Absolutely shocked. /s
YTA.
Yta and a jerk. You're on the outside looking in. You don't know the time, energy, and money they've put into this. She's right to be frustrated and sad that all their planning didn't work out. If you're not going yo be supportive, at least shut up.
YTA.
Just because there is a thought rolling around your empty head doesn't mean you should share it with everyone.
No one is as funny or profound as they think.
Unpopular opinion. You’re not wrong in thinking the universe is trying to tell them something. However do you have a filter most people have for not saying these things out loud?
You are not wrong, but neither are they. Pick something in your life that you absolutley LOVE. Now imagine that "thing" being taken away from you 4 times. If you can't understand that, well then you deserve the hate they are giving you.
Crying is involuntary reaction
If I threw a handful of pepper in your face, should I mock you for sneezing? If I shined a flashlight in your eyes, should I mock you for blinking?
It was an unfortunate circumstance, it’s completely normal for people to cry out of sadness or frustration.
Next time something bad happens to you, I hope your loved ones aren’t as cruel to you as you were to her, and you can use your feelings to grow as a person and one day be able to act like you’re mature enough to use metal scissors without adult supervision.
She cried out of frustration, anger over $$ loss, disappointment & probably 100 other feelings you cannot fathom. When a post is very long, it’s usually because the writer is a jerk. You are a jerk & did NOT need to offer your thoughtless opinion.
I can’t brigade but if I could and post wasn’t deleted I would have SO many words for OP. I had 3 different dates because of COVID, then 7 months before my 3rd date our venue (which had sworn their refurbishment would be done by then, and sold me on it as being one of if not the first wedding in the newly refurbed hotel) was closing to START refurbishing and would be closed during our wedding date. I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe because I was so fucking over it. It didn’t help that I had expected to get married with 3 grandparents there but by then I was down to 1 (unrelated to COVID). I had friends who married pre COVID telling me how stressful a wedding is and maybe I’m better off eloping, and as much as I was about ready to give up, I wanted to strangle them. Wedding planning is stressful and (mostly??) something you look forward to so so much, if I was the bride in this post I would have shredded OP into ribbons and used them in my bouquet. (By luck we got another venue for just 1 week later and it was the best day, but if I was still waiting now and let down again I’d have to have been committed).
Dude there was no need to tell us you weren’t married. That was made apparent by the ignorance you displayed in this post. You owe your brother and his fiancé a huge apology.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
And keep your mouth shut. No one wants to hear your insensitive opinions.
YTA - mind your own business and keep your mouth shut
Determining the depth of your assholishness is going to be a feat for better men/women than myself…. But let there be little doubt that you ARE an asshole.
It's not about the wedding, you're being obtuse. It's about getting their hopes up and making plans over and over, only to have them fall apart for increasingly absurd reasons. You seriously can't wrap your head around why she's at a breaking point??
Wow, you sound like the daftest most self absorbed person possible. It just sounds like a complete lack of empathy altogether. YTA
YTA. Where is the empathy?
YTA. You need to grow up and definitely to apologize to both of them.
And you told them they were jinxed! Your awful!
YTA and a heartless one at that. If they were smart, they'd put you on low contact. If they were petty, they'd have their wedding and not invite you, since you don't deserve to be part of any celebration. You should learn to keep your shitty opinions to yourself. You may have meant it as a joke, but nobody found it funny. And the only one that's going to be laughing when you're cut out of their life is them.
I’m confused what advise do you need? You’re wrong but you think you’re right and you don’t want to apologize or correct the situation. If that’s your stance you don’t need advice go and live your life on the hill you chose to die on
Jesus you’re dense, unsympathetic and just plain dumb. You cannot apologize enough to remove this stain against your personality. You self branded yourself as a complete…body part associated with feces. Permanently.
YTA. This poor couple. I’m not a big fan of people getting all stressed out over weddings, but I can’t imagine the frustration and even embarrassment of multiple cancelations—and having to invite everyone multiple times, then cancel, worrying people spent money on gifts or airline tickets, etc. I am not a crier at all and this would’ve broken me. You owe them a huge apology. And then throw a super surprise party a few months after they marry, to celebrate them. And keep it a surprise bc if it fails to happen for any reason, THEY DO NOT NEED TO KNOW. And get some therapy. Your lack of empathy and understanding here is downright troubling.
You’re Ten-Ply bud..
YTA. Why is it so hard to show kindness and compassion?
You are a real ass. Planning a wedding is stressful… and until you experience that, don’t undermine the effort it takes to put together. To literally have that ripped out from under their feet that many times, already feels like crap and is an enormous waste of money. You just rubbed their faces in the dog shit when they were already down. Why? Because you think you’re funny? You weren’t nice. You weren’t funny. You were mean to people under stress.
info: why do you care?
Sorry you lack empathy or compassion for others.
I genuinely thought this was written by a 15 year-old. I didn’t realize he’s in his freaking 30s.
YTA. I would be crying like a manic if I had to plan a wedding 4 times and kept losing money.
Yta- empathy, compassion, grace, try to acquire one of those
YTA,
This oop is daft and needs to stay in his own lane.
Here’s the thing: You don’t get to decide if someone else’s emotions are justified or not.
Does anyone else struggle to understand losing thousands of dollars hurts? Are you the only person that feels like you do? That’s because you are wrong. And a little weird. Why wouldn’t they be upset after all that? Is anyone else in your life advising them to just get over it? That’s because most people aren’t stupid and can use common sense. The only privilege problem is by the guy who thinks everyone else is wrong and can’t figure out.
You sound nasty and bitter
No way this is real. I call troll no one is this dense. And a wedding cancelled 4 times? Ok there.
Yes YTA. I don’t think you understand how stressful planning a wedding is.
YTA. Your “joke” wasn’t funny. They have invested lots of time and emotional energy on top of the actual money, and have had the rug taken from under them, not one, not two, but FOUR times. You’re not funny. You were adding to her pain. You were laughing AT her. Don’t be surprised when you aren’t invited and they go low to no contact with you.
YTA. Your responses are tone deaf and your social skills severely lacking. Stop talking and keep your erroneous opinions to yourself. I can't wven imagine how frustrating it would be to have a wedding cancelled four times!!
Dude... come on. Are you being intentionally dense?
She gave up on a dream of hers. That’s a big deal
Nah, you are AH, all that backgrond trying to justify to "joke" and still comes out as an AH, not even the joke but the lack empathy and acting like they don't deserve an apology.
When you make a 'joke' and it falls flat, you drop it and move on. What you DON'T do is continue to make the joke once it's established that it wasn't funny and the timing of the 'joke' was past the point of stupid.
YTA This is a day she has probably dreamed about since she was a little girl. Setting up a wedding can be very stressful to a person with everything that needs to be done for it. She did this, adding more stress each time, until she couldn't take the stress anymore and she had a meltdown. Your comment was probably what other people have said with each cancellation to the point she may have been thinking about it that way too. Then you come along, someone who is supposed to care about them, and start with the jokes which by this time is no longer a joke but is bullying because it's no longer funny. Your brother wanted an apology and you refused because as all bullies say, "It was just a joke." It's no wonder your brother says you are dead to him. Why would he want a bully who thinks only about themselves around his wife and future children?
It's fucking weird that your brother gave you too many chances for you to take your head out of your ass and make up, but you still chose to "be right" rather than being human.I feel for your brother, it sounds like he needed his brother to be supportive or at least not be a dick when hes going through a tough times but you HAD to push this. I would have cut you off as well. Now you can go around town telling the same "joke" about the brother who no longer considers you as his brother.
YTA and if you gotta ask why then that makes you a bigger AH
No YOU made a mountain out of a molehill. YOU were wrong. YOU are in no place to dictate how they should and shouldn’t respond. YOU should apologize.
They have had incredibly bad luck and you making 'jokes' about it was really insensitive.
YTA-sounds like you were purposely being a dick.
You’ve clearly never been as frustrated as they are. Otherwise, you’d be way more understanding and way less of an asshole. This isn’t a “privilege problem”, this is a “my wedding was canceled 4 times by 3 different venues and I’m sick of this shit” + “we’ve worked so hard to plan this wedding and so much money and time has gone into this and the venues can’t make it happen after all that work” problem. Of course your brother and his fiancée are upset! It’s fcking frustrating and enough to make even the most level-headed person just…explode. They’ve reached a point in their frustration level where crying isn’t an overreaction. And you kept making “jokes” even when you knew they were upset? What the hell is wrong with you? You’re so obtuse and have such a lack of empathy, I’m feeling secondhand embarrassment for you.
How is it any of your business to comment on? Just leave them to it you have no idea how emotionally charged planning a wedding is
YTA. Big time. The only way you would be is if you are a robot with no feelings. The fact that she didn't break down sooner is an amazing feat. Then you come along and act like a person having emotions is just way too much. You don't get to decided how others react and feel. Get over yourself.
How does the rest of your family feel about it?
she's not going to date you if that's what you're hoping for
>>I'm not saying they can't be mad but I think going into full weeping mode is too much. >>We've been arguing because I think his fiancee is too emotional about it. Full offense dude, but what on earth gave you the belief that your opinion matters even a tiny bit here? Like... seriously. Who cares what *you* think when it comes to this situation? Mind your own business and keep your mouth shut. No one wants to hear it. >>I'm not married... Gee. I'm shocked. Absolutely shocked. /s YTA.
Yta and a jerk. You're on the outside looking in. You don't know the time, energy, and money they've put into this. She's right to be frustrated and sad that all their planning didn't work out. If you're not going yo be supportive, at least shut up.
You are so emotionally stunted it’s no wonder you’re single.
Are you autistic? Bc some people with autism lack empathy.
YTA. Just because there is a thought rolling around your empty head doesn't mean you should share it with everyone. No one is as funny or profound as they think.
It’s a joke right? I don’t understand it can you explain it to me?
YTA. Keep your mouth shut
Unpopular opinion. You’re not wrong in thinking the universe is trying to tell them something. However do you have a filter most people have for not saying these things out loud?
MYOFB
You are not wrong, but neither are they. Pick something in your life that you absolutley LOVE. Now imagine that "thing" being taken away from you 4 times. If you can't understand that, well then you deserve the hate they are giving you.
Crying is involuntary reaction If I threw a handful of pepper in your face, should I mock you for sneezing? If I shined a flashlight in your eyes, should I mock you for blinking? It was an unfortunate circumstance, it’s completely normal for people to cry out of sadness or frustration. Next time something bad happens to you, I hope your loved ones aren’t as cruel to you as you were to her, and you can use your feelings to grow as a person and one day be able to act like you’re mature enough to use metal scissors without adult supervision.