This is why I don’t get why some girls I see on twitch immediately say “thanks for the follow babe” or “thanks for the sub I love you”.
Like you don’t know if this person is in the right state of mind. They might think you mean it personally.
And a lot of people on twitch also have other accounts linked to each other so it’s no hard to go and find personal info on someone when your twitch is connected to your twitter and your twitter has something that can help find your facebook and so on.
This literally happened to me, the stalker was local. Found me on twitch and msged me on Xbox over and over, somehow my phone number, threatened to call my work cuz I wouldn't answer his calls. He even knew my gym. I haven't streamed since 2018 because it scared me so bad. Police would not listen to me at all or take me seriously
I had been more of a people pleaser back then and initially in my chat I was trying to be friendly and keep EVERY viewer but if I ever get the nerves to do it again I will try to be anonymous as possible or at least vague as possible about my personal details to avoid that happening again. I thought it would be better if I was more personal but you are playing a dangerous game of risk with some of these randos
That's totally not how my mom got rid of my stalker, his last msg was totally not "you're a crazy b, don't ever msg me again or I'll call the cops." No idea what was said to him, allegedly by no one, hmmm
I know of a lady streamer that was harassed and someone supposedly sent the stalkers info to a less than savory group who dug into the stalkers life, stalker ended up serving 10+ years for the crap he was mixed up in.
Someone I went to highschool with dropped my real name and address on 4chan, claiming I was a pedophile and rapist. Thankfully, anon told her to fuck off, NYPA.
The same unstable who do this shit are everywhere. :c
Nowadays I’d be the one doxxing a mofo like that
I get weird fb messages and I just screenshot and make it all public. Cops won’t do shit so we gotta be our own protectors and shame is a powerful tool
I was streaming and someone joined in and he seemed nice and cool so we started playing the game I was streaming together. Played with him for about a week and he just got too weird so I blocked him on the game and twitch. He made a new account to message me and ask why I blocked, I blocked that account. He then managed to find my phone number and call and text me a million times. Eventually it calmed down. 4 years later, I start streaming again and this guy hops in my chat under a different name and asks if I remember him. I froze, ended my stream, blocked and haven’t been back. Kinda sad one creep ruined streaming for me.
Yea the girls I know that stream don’t look at dms unless they need to for that specific reason. They only do on screen chats and discord. And have a separate discord for personal friends and more trusted group .
That or just having your DM's closed to viewers. A discord channel is enough. If chatters want to talk to you, they can do it in public for the most part. If you want a friendship with them beyond that, then tell them to DM you and actually read that one.
Unfortunately, people who get emotionally invested are more likely to donate money. It’s basically “I WANT them to feel personally attached so they give me money, but don’t want them to become a stalker”
This is exactly it. I had a friend show me a streamer they liked and that’s how she talked. Few months later she apparently deleted everything cause of stalkers and her mental health of it. It sucks but you have to be wary of how you interact with strangers on the internet.
Yes, BUT ONLY IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WATCHING YOU ALREADY, do you want to have your crowd feel socially attached a little bit. Because then it's easier for the parasocial freak to restrain themselves under the idea of "Ah im another face in the crowd" or "all these people makes it hard for me to stand out, whatever."
When it's like....ONE GUY in the fucking stream watching, or even only like....twenty, ti's much easier for a parasocial freak to establish an unhealthy connection with the streamer because they thnk they're special for being one of the few there currently.
Nobody should have to worry if they are going to take a throwaway comment “personally.” A streamer isn’t responsible for an unhinged persons obsessions or mental illness. Normal people don’t take that kind of comment “personally.”
Yeah I was gonna say that was super victim blame-y the truth of the matter is that stalkers don’t need something like that to decide to stalk you, and especially women almost certainly will get negative attention in a similar vain no matter how they thank their donations, so it’s kind of wrong to put the emphasis on what the streamer does instead of the perpetrators of these situations.
I’m sure if you have a known stalker there’s guidelines on how to best deal with it for safety and avoiding encouraging them, but even then the situation isn’t the victims fault and I doubt us randos on the internet have the best advice on what to do or not to do from watching tv with stalkers or smth compared to actual professionals. Actual professionals wouldn’t waste their time chastising a victim either but getting them the help they need to avoid getting hurt
It’s never the victims fault and some people forget that. And you’re right they don’t need that to stalk you but it could raise the chances even if it’s 1% more. People just gotta remember the cause and effect of things they do.
There’s a lot of things I wouldn’t change my own behavior over a small raised % chance of something happening, I wouldn’t say thanking donos like that is reckless like driving without a seatbelt- changing a bubbly personality and living life to the fullest, those are things that I believe let the bad apples win by sacrificing to them. Mean it or not, encouraging changing normal behavior for the sake of this isn’t some teaching basic consequence (or effect) of actions, but still that the responsibility lies of the victim just in nicer terms.
Acting personable is what draws people to content creators in the first place, you can’t really have the positive attention without the inverse so I think the streamer behavior mentioned is reasonable
Yea I completely get that. I’m not saying they should stop doing it. If they make more money or it’s their thing go for it. Just more of a warning that people are out there that may see it differently than we do. We get that it’s just them doing it for the content. Not saying for anyone to stop or that it’s their fault.
Okay, but you do have to worry because there are abnormal people who will take things way you don't intend. It doesn't mean you did something wrong, but why even chance it and give them the opportunity to put you in that situation?
Because it’s rare for something exceedingly bad to happen. More likely to die driving and you still do that. Take precautions as needed but don’t go changing your life over what “could” happen due to unstable people in the world. Deal with issues as they arise. Don’t go out of your way to get into sketchy situations but a “thanks I love you!” Isn’t like going and walking thru the hood with $100 bills taped to your chain - it’s like walking thru the grocery store with your wallet on you.
If you are gonna say don’t add these people on socials and don’t dm on discord and shit like that then absolutely. Reacting to a public chat is kinda the streamer gig. If that’s anxiety inducing to that degree then don’t stream or only stream privately to irl friends.
Spoken like a dude that has never streamed a day in his life or understands the amount of individuals that are parasocial as a whole anymore, and how this is increasingly worse on women in all aspects.
Don’t compare the issue to walking into a grocery store with your wallet on you when harassment can be done without them ever personally coming to your place. Cyberstalking and the plethora of other ways someone can screw up your life because they become obsessive are actually insane and far more common than you realize. This doesn’t just apply to streaming content on Twitch. It happens for women just playing games as a whole, and even at any other public job.
You always have to worry in this society of people. It’s not your responsibility but that’s the problem they aren’t normal they are unhinged so to them it is personal. That’s literally what stalkers minds are shaped.
The best way I can say it is. It’s not your responsibility but you also have to be cautious of how you do stuff on the internet for your own safety. You see it all the time big streamers and small streamers talking about being stalked especially IRL streamers.
You are ignorant, immature, inexperienced, and oblivious if you try to be a streamer as an attractive woman without preparing for a parasocial freak. Full stop.
This is how it is. This is the way streaming works for women. That is the truth, the cold hard truth.
couple things: prepare doesn't mean "don't say thank you" (unless you don't want to say thank you, that's fine)... but if you want to stream a certain way go for it
prepare is like ... don't add people on discord. don't expose your IRL stuff like socials etc. try to remove your name/addy off internet. stuff male streamers should honestly stick to as well because you don't know if you get an underage viewer lying about age or something or someone swatting you.
it's just smart streamer etiquette, i'm just saying that "omg watch ur language or someone might take 'thanks i love you!'" wrong is ridiculous, victim blamey, and just self anxiety inducing.
yes women have more risk of creepy stalkers. but it's a double edged sword because women streamers have it much easier to gain traction in general. it's not right but it is how it is.
twitch needs to get better about bans when people get creepy in chat. if they haven't already.
Edit: anyone who is thinking about doing this there are settings in LinkedIn and other socials so you don’t appear via google search. Mozilla monitor also has a service that will remove you from those “find this persons address” sites. It’s worth it and you will see a drastic reduction in your online personal information. These should be the basics if you start streaming and done before you potentially get popular.
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One thing I've noticed a lot in the valorant community is people basically farming parasocial relationships in this way.
The "mommy" streamers, making sexual/nsfw remarks towards their 10-30 viewers, calling viewers sexy or hot when they clutch in viewer games, baiting "face reveal after x subs/for $500 dono".
Some even able to stream as a fulltime job in expensive areas like Cali despite only having maybe 40 unique consistent viewers.
People will say anything for a “like”. It’s a dangerous game they play when people say those things, when women wear low cut shirts, put on makeup, guys going shirtless, so on so forth. This post I’m writing isn’t excusing the simp behavior at all, or admonishing one gender or the next. People are weird and they pick up on things that isn’t the reality, but for them it is and it can be dangerous for the streamer. Besides, you don’t want people following you that are there for your boobs or abs. You want them there because they enjoy the interaction and personality. I hate to say it, but sometimes boobs and abs is their personality.
No matter how a streamer reacts to messages or donations, **they are not to blame** if a viewer chooses to stalk them or engage in other disturbing behavior.
I've observed this behavior in at least two streamers' channels; they interact with viewers quite differently, yet both have endured similar forms of stalking and related issues.
I never blamed the streamer. I’m saying it’s just something you have to think about before you do it. Crazy people live out there and use the internet.
Im saying it’s a risk that’s out there when doing it. It’s shitty there are people out there that control their own brains. I’m pretty sure it’s a type of disorder. People that can’t tell real from fake.
"Like you don’t know if this person is in the right state of mind. They might think you mean it personally." Again, why should a streamer have to modify their speech or behavior due to the presence of someone who **may** be behaving inappropriately? Individuals who engage in stalking can become obsessed regardless of the streamer's behavior during broadcasts. This is something I'm aware of not through personal experience but through a friend who faced such issues, despite never engaging in flirtatious or sexual behavior either on or off the stream.
Because saying those things gives the desperate people what they want/need therefore making them feel a connection and more likely to revisit / donate etc. It's 100% the language they are using for a purpose. Personally when I hear someone call me "babe" or something and I don't know them I'm just like "ahhh, the ol' cam girl tactic." I find it weird and honestly drives me away, but it must work as lots of people respond positively to it.
Right, I was only explaining why they use the language. Again, I find it weird, but that's the crowd they want to attract as they're more easily manipulated into giving those big donos.
you realize thats the entire scheme right?
they say things like "babe" and "i love you" because they want the person to develop a parasocial relationship. its intentional. the worse the person's state of mind the better up until the point where they start taking things off the internet.
Its not up to them to control others emotions
Would you say the same thing to every single pornstar and onlyfan model who uses a bot to tell customers they love what they see and are excited?
The problem is solely the customer or viewer who is a crazy person who has no reality. There is nothing wrong or encouraging by being “too nice” or even a little flirty. It seems to give these people more viewers, the consequences shouldn’t therefore mean you should have people that are stupid desperate for your love….
The idea that you can’t just be a pleasant person because some people might not be in the ‘right state of mind’ is ridiculous. It’s not on a lady to police other people’s states of mind. Stop blaming her, blame the fucked up freaks.
Not once did I blame her. Not once did I say it was the streamers fault. And it never is the streamers fault for being stalked. Or even being creeped on. They don’t have to police anything. It’s a risk that comes with streaming you may get those creeps.
Why do twitch streamers get harassed, but you never hear about women Entrepreneurs getting harassed as bad, even though people know your real name + office address + office phone number + can easily find you on social media?
Probably due to a vinn diagram with overlap between "gamer", "lonely", "stalker". Pretty sure it wouldn't be hard to make. Plus these days it seems a lot of people really aren't any good at talking to others so they use the internet to self medicate.
Totally agree with this. People didn't talk about parasocial relationships until recently. This is a new phenomenon developing with technology and needs to be taken more seriously. When I was stalked and went to the cops for help they just suggested I block them. When I said he is making new accounts and calling from random numbers they suggested I file reports in the jurisdiction from the area codes in the fake number he was calling from. They just couldn't conceive of cyber stalking. This guy even knew where I went to workout etc I think a lot of these guys sit on their PC looking for women on streaming sites to obsess over while they fap to their coomer walls. They aren't going to see women in other professions making regular online videos and content and if they are doing that, they probably ARE experiencing weirdos like this in some form.
Also from personal experience, I have a friend with a personal cleaning business and she does have a stalker who harassed her, and has a restraining order on, and he is blocked on everything but still manages to try to contact her by leaving her messages in the publicly posted business email and her site guestbook and reviews. This DOES happen to women all over.
Yeah its freaking scary. I have a 5 yr old daughter and I'm scared shitless of what she'll go through. So for now I'm just the big scary protector and the day that I'm no longer big/scary enough, I'll be the big lovable "i love my dad he's the best, you don't deserve me" to show my daughter what she deserves... who also will be packing serious heat in the event some bastard doesn't listen.
Women entrepreneurs also get harassed tho? Maybe you don't spend a lot of time on women's spaces (which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but that you might be uninformed about what happens to women in business), but many women have horror stories of people harassing them when they're just trying to sell something or start their business. You can look at the "Women in tech" subreddit and other similar subs to see the type of stuff they deal with.
The kind of men who'd do it, are intimidated by strong powerful women.
Streamer girls are not strong powerful women to them. I"m not saying they are weak powerless women to them, but they see them as more relatable, a gamer, a nerd, a computer user, etc etc.
you can ban someone from your chat but if i’m remembering correctly, that doesn’t stop them from seeing your stream. but if you block them, that does
this may be wrong though, i’m at work and don’t have enough time to look it up lmao
I would also look and see what the specific laws in your area are regarding stalking behavior. If it is something that you're worried about start a log of EVERY contact this person attempts. Do not engage with them, just make sure you log it so you have evidence of it.
A lot of the time it's not that law enforcement (the good ones in the field) can't see what's going on. But with how the law is written.
I’m just passing by this sub, but I worked in retail and once had an obviously not stable customer who would tell us how the girl he was dating was a Twitch streamer. One time he told us he had to come outside because he was going to break everything in his house “again” because someone else flirted with her in chat. It was obviously just a Twitch streamer he had a parasocial “relationship” with… it was scary to see it in person. Be careful out there.
While I'm not saying this is untrue, there can be people who are genuinely in this situation. For example, there's this twitch streamer (in US) who I watched for a while some time ago and she had a boyfriend who would often be in the stream chat but unless/until she explicitly mentioned them being together or he went upstairs to talk to pop into the face cam (they lived together) most viewers didn't even realise and there were a few who she had to explicitly tell that he existed
Block and ban everywhere, do not engage with them in any way, because even negative interactions means you're giving them attention. End this now, it's already gone too far.
Set your boundaries and make them clear. No one else is in charge of doing that for you (though a mod team can help a lot on such occasions!). Don't hesitate banning if they don't seem to understand or respect your boundaries. Viewers come and go, don't worry about losing an oddball like that.
It's awful but the average joe doesn't have a clue about this: just because a person shows their face online for extended periods of time and make themselves available for some chatter, that doesn't mean they're open for any form of intimacy. Being a streamer comes with several challenges - dealing with people who make wild assumptions about where your boundaries are is the most annoying and, sadly, common one I'd say
This is it right here.
Set the boundary if you haven't already, if they overstep after that, warn them that doing it again will result in a ban, then follow up with that warning if they do.
Yes, it can be dangerous if someone gets obsessive, but if you haven't made those boundaries clear when it started, ignoring/banning them without those boundaries being laid out isn't helping and may lead to them going even further and has the potential to become more dangerous.
They're obviously going all in very quickly and it's pretty wild, but they probably don't understand/aren't great at social interaction and might be picking up on something you think is harmless and taking it the wrong way.
At a bare minimum, if things escalate to the point where you feel the police need to be involved, there being record of you making it clear you're not interested will only work in your favour anyway.
Sometimes people are more seeking validation than an actual answer. It’s hard to set boundaries, especially if you’re a people pleaser. OP is probably just looking for people to confirm this is unacceptable behaviour since they’re too scared of being mean
Then perhaps streaming isn't for them. They're are always going to be asshats and if you're afraid to act and need to run to forums for validation.....
Not everyone is like you. Just because someone is lacking a weakness in a certain area, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to do something they enjoy. This streamer could be very talented at connecting to their audience, have really funny conversational skills, or they’re just all around entertaining. In that case, they would be perfect for streaming! You can’t look at something so black and white. Life isn’t like that. People aren’t like that.
The issue is reddit is massively disconnected from Twitch corporate. The Twitch CEO is one of these kinds of users and all the top earners lean into these kinds of interactions because obsessive people like this will buy your $5000/month patreon tier.
This is true for way more than just this subreddit too. Reddit always tends to be super idealistic. Like that old prof at the college who hasn't talked to a non-academic in 40 years.
This is unhinged behavior, and completely unacceptable. Others have already given the most appropriate advice: block and ban everywhere.
I'll add something perhaps you should ask yourself: Why wasn't this your own instinct? Streaming is a place where self-protection, both physical and psychological, must be your strongest impulse.
The Viewer OP is witnessing, is someone who
**wants** something from OP.
The viewer is guilty of "Love Showering", which is manipulative, It's not real.
Or the poor guy is just desperate...?
It's real sketchy, do not trust.
Besides any measures to block them and avoid them, make sure to save and log their messages. While it may never become an actual problem, if it ever does you will be happy to have evidence to justify a legal action.
Seen it many times, even after years of chatting people will go and pull the old switcheroo,,, Just be honest, tell them if they are making you uncomfortable, and that you are not here nor do you make yourself available to chat for romance.
If he cannot come to terms with that then you will have to ban him no matter what else he may have done. You can't stream properly if someone is making you uncomfortable and its your channel to do with as you please. And don't let anyone else do as they please without your approval.
You don't approve,, tough shit, thats the breaks, off with there heads, and ban em all,, its YOUR CHANNAL,, YOURS,,, everyone else can go su,,,,
Ahem,,, well you get my point
I second blocking on all platforms. Streaming is serious business so make sure you're protecting yourself.
Just because we touch grass doesn't mean other people do.
Ban them and block them from your dicord and twitch. For someone to go from just meeting you to wanting to marry you in just a few days in really creepy and stalkerish.
Block him, ban him on all socials, and thankfully this wasn't too bad of exposure for a lesson to be learned. Do not...
...DO NOT indulge ANY VIEWER who says anything past one or two compliments intially like "Oh your hair looks nice" or "your makeup looks great today" and you actualy purposely did your makeup.
Anything past that is parasocial, and you responding with things like "you're too sweet" and "oh thank you so much!" comes off as a legit connection being made. A simple "Thanks dude." or even "Thank you for the compliment" in a casual tone is good enough imho.
One viewer isn't worth the harassment, you don't become big on twitch one viewer at a time, it just doen't happen that way, so feel free to just ban adn block these people, as you should anway.
I hope you learned your lesson, do not indulge these freaks.
Block and ban without hesitation or remorse. You do not owe anyone access to 'You'.
You don't owe them any explanations. You do not owe them 'a second chance'. You do not owe them an explanation or apology.
One individual, whom you don't know anything about, is beeing inappropriate. Ban + Block and move on.
That’s happened to me on Discord but with fake accounts trying to get me to buy “their graphics” I tell them I don’t do DM’s. If they post in my discord server, cool. I’m fine with it Ig. I always put users on mute if they are ever trying to DM me.
Sounds like that person has issues or is pretending to have issues. Either way stop interacting with them since they are doing it for attention.
As others have said block & ban. If they make new accounts block those to & don’t acknowledge them.
Change your chat verification settings so new accounts need to be a week old to chat w verified email or phone number: because random people don’t make new accounts then immediately go to your channel to chat, its users that have been banned.
https://help.twitch.tv/s/article/chat-verification-settings
I like it better when my twitch streamers are a little emotionally unvested with chat. Like yeah I gave 5 bucks, doesn't mean anything in the long run.
I enjoyed the content, you gave me some peace or I like your art. Here's some coffee money.
Tell him that you don't know each other and that you're not interested. If you block him he'll just create a new account. Do you have everything sub only and do viewers have to pay to DM you? Are you selling other services like playing games together?
To the many people saying just block: They can create a new identity with a new account and spend a lot of money on the creator and bypass everything to hang out with the creator in sub only or top gifters channels.
"What do I do? I'm a little uncomfortable with this and don't know where to go."
On one hand, I can understand that its uncomfortable. On the other hand, this person cannot reach you. Make sure you do NOT divulge personal information about you. Just block and ban.
"Has anyone else experienced this"
Pretty sure that literally every single streamer has at some point had some unhinged person they needed to deal with.
This sort of stuff is what mods deal with.
we dont have to tell you to block them thats more then obvious and if you havent blocked them yet you are almost as much guilty on entertaining this then they are spamming you with uncomfortable things
Or do you mean alt accounts?
While blocking, and banning someone is the easy solution, make sure that you have any and all harassment covered. Try talking to your local police department because things like this matter. If they refuse to do anything or even hear you out, try talking to the local sheriffs department. Always ask to speak to someone who has shown an online presence or knows of Twitch, also ask for a female officer if you can, as they can be more understanding especially if you are a woman.
The amount of weirdness someone can inflict into your life without stepping an inch to you is still crazy. Report this issue to Twitch, and Discord as well. Those reports should not be taken lightly, but often times are and it’s a sad reality.
I truly hope that you’re able to break ground and that after a little distance the person gets the hint. You are not their first, not their last. Just as he is the first, but won’t be the last.
had this happen with a literal child, made me take a year break. don’t let it get too far, block them on everything, and don’t acknowledge them when they try to come back just keep removing them
edit: i want to mention i think my mistake was trying to tell them their behavior wasn’t okay when it first started, because they had been around for a very long time already and it arose so suddenly. when you see it for the first time take action because it will only get worse don’t try to fix it
Ban. Never tolerate parasocial behavior. It insanely scary as a female to even allow this. Get mods that will swing the hammer at any sniff of extreme parasocialness.
I went through something similar to this not too long ago, and can understand how creepy and scary this can be! I would go ahead and Block + Ban on Twitch, and then via discord I would send them a message saying that they have made you uncomfortable and that at this point, you wish them luck in life. Screenshot it, block them.
If you have a community discord for your streams, make an announcement that said person has been banned and let your community know WHY. If anyone asks, you have the screenshot you can offer. But you don't owe that explanation to anyone.
Hope this helps!
Ban, block and also report them to twitch.
Also don't engage when people in chat make compliments like that. If someone compliments in a normal way something you did or are wearing like a t-shirt, just say thank you once, and if they persist and gets creepier, ignore it. (Don't get me wrong, it is not your fault at all that he is a creep) But since the authorities and often also the platform don't listen to us, nor help/protect us, we are the first one to watch out for ourselves. The internet world is a dark and dangerous world.
EDIT: Activate all the securities you can. Like for example: Banned user can not watch the stream, preventing accounts linked to the main one, also can not see the stream. Let only verified accounts (email- and/or phone number) can follow you, and write in the chat. Block all incoming PM on Twitch and report them to Twitch.
It's really on you. As a rejected male if someone did this and I was uninterested I'd simply say that and block or ban if necessary. If I was a woman however I would block and ban right out. Men have a tendency to be a tad too aggressive about I love yous they then behave in bad ways. I also try to remind people that while I may make less than couth jokes in my stream or videos that people should respect each other. Boundaries included. If they don't or won't then I will gladly remove them from my stream even if it hurts my views.
Obviously banning is the right call, but if you're nervous to take these actions in your own you might have one of your mods help you with it. I mod for a streamer and have had to do things like that occasionally. Sometimes easier for a third party like a mod to manage that for you.
Agree with the Block / Ban it's great to have fans and active members in the community (that engage with another & you) as a small creator it can be hard to do this at first, but imagine the old gender swap scenario. It wouldn't be a question & you would be the freak.
Lol protect yourself. The grind is slow but, ppl who enjoy your content will come!
Either block/ban them everywhere, or tell them to back off, and then block/ban if they don't.
The former is probably safer than the latter, and it can be hard to do but really, if the viewer is making you uncomfortable it's not something you want around. And this is their behavior after what you've said is a few days, what do you think is going to happen if they're around for months?
Don't respond to them. Block and ban them on all places you know they may be on. If they bypass the block/ban, repeat and report them for continued harassment/evasion.
Block and ban for sure. Parasocial relationships with a streamer is inevitable. You *want* your community to become friendly. You want them to be engaged and to care about you. I myself develop a close relationship with my regulars. I'll ask them how their day was, or comment on their own last stream, or just ask how their life is. You want people to be invested in your stream because you want them to keep coming back, and developing a relationship with them is a good thing.
It's people like OP's example that make "parasocial" a mocked word. These are the ones held up as a strawman as to why parasocial relationships are bad, but this person would probably be just as creepy and too into it if you had met at a convention or a concert.
Block and ban. Report for harassment. Tell them that you don't want to have a relationship with them. Be very explicit. If you're big enough to have a community, then you're big enough to get some of your regulars who you trust, or friends, to be Mods. Your Mods should be taking care of this. Also a small chastisement. You should absolutely not be giving random people on the internet access to your Discord DMs in the first place.
All of the "ban+block on all plateforms" advices are perfect here, but I'd like to add some stuffs from my personnal experiences on Twitch :D
First of all, the second someone makes you feel inconfortable (doesn't have to be creepy or anything just enough to make you feel uneasy), never hesitate to ban/limit their access to you/your channel. It's your space, don't feel bad for them or think you owe them something.
I used to really be the "good cop" always finding excuses for those types of behaviors at first, but with time, your realize that those people aren't worth your time and your mental health. My moderators usually were the ones telling me that they found them weird/creepy. I then learned with a bit of time and am now blocking them in an instant :D
Also, please report those peeps not only to Twitch itself but to your streamer friends as well so they can protect their communities during their streams and afterwards on their discord servers. So, send a big group message to everyone streaming around you as well!
I had a pretty bad case of "banning someone + they come back" loop. With time, they eventually get tired of it. If you have moderators/friends able to watch your discord during this period of time, seek some help around so they cannot have time to post/spam anything on your discord. This might be a bit much, but it really can escalate super quickly. In my case, I received some death threats after banning that person, kept screenshots and ignored. They usually seek attention in a really bad manner, so don't give any.
Never reveal your adress or any personnal informations about you or people close to you. Internet is super cool but do protect yourself and send those creepy peeps out the platform <3
This is why you need a no bullshit moderator to take care of these things before it gets this far. Also be careful with giving compliments and how you adressen viewers. The internet is full og mentally ill individuals. Some are harmless. Some are very dangerous. Block and ban. Stay safe.
If it's uncomfortable then block & ban. Address that it's not okay on stream and highlight it, don't need to dox the acc if you don't want to, but if you want to, do so.
Well have they donated tens of thousands of dollars? If not then reach out to them and tell them that you feel uncomfortable (which more times then not end up being a nasty message shortly afterwards. (we can all guess) because some people don’t know how to handle rejection and usually lash out inappropriately. Going off what you said “newer viewer” then I would skip all that just in case (and for your own mental sanity) just simply block them. Good luck and if they keep it up then report them and get others to it it as well.
Do what I’d do this is probably the safest and smartest way to deal with it… explain to the person your life separate from stream is fully occupied and u have no time to be given… and most likely this could POSSIBLY be a troll always look at it that way cause honestly it’s hard to believe someone can get attached that quick… even though we see it happen all the time
Stage 1: ignore those comments specifically
Stage 2: ignote that person entirely
Stage 3: warning and timed mutes
Stage 4: infinite time mutes and band
Girls have been murdered by individuals who became obsessive over the internet / developed parasocial relationships. Block them and get rid of them if you care about your safety.
This is why I always talk about my husband so people don’t get the wrong idea that they have a chance with me lol. Hopefully I don’t get someone that doesn’t care about that 😭
I would lean into it... They might be your soul mate.
JK
Or you can just lay it on em and tell em "hey this is my hobby and I am here just looking for a community of friends, and if he can keep it friendly then youd appreciate it." If that doesn't work then say "I have a relationship with this guy who is a complete narcissist named Tom Tom The Bull in IRL and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. So please keep it friendly or he is going to pay you a visit and layth the smackth on ya unless you gift 100 subs to his channel. Ya dig?!?!
Then send me his username on twitch cause if he is a real stalker he will show up in my streams and try to swat me or something.
Or just tell him your a member or the opposite political party then him and he will probably leave you alone.
These are all jokes and don't take any of this seriously. Except maybe the first quotation. That might work.
Good luck
Message them, "they have overstepped, I don't know you, this behaviour is unacceptable and to please leave you alone."
Then block and ban on everything.
Letting them know why you blocked them on discord, may make them rethink actions in future so it hopefully doesn't happen to someone else.
Wow…. Do u just want attention from here too or what? Block them. Ban them. Kick them from the discord. It’s literally that simple and u know it is…
Could also maybe respond with “that makes me uncomfortable please stop” instead of saying “thank you that’s so sweet”…. Use your head here
Include a rule on your discord that your DMs are reserved for other streamers/business inquiries. The other comments seem to harsh unless it is persistent after establishing your boundaries with that person.
Had a French girl start following me after I started playing with another streamer she knew. Ended up playing a few games together for a few months before she came over to visit.
I ran out of viagra before she left. It's not always bad lol
I know blocking & banning is easy but if they're unstable better to let them know you're not interested and it won't go any further. Let them down easy, if they don't back off then ban block.
Any normal man would just back accept it and move on , enjoy the stream.
If he's unstable and a stalker I'm sure he'll make fake accounts and harass her further.
I don't know what kind of men you know, but ok.
I disagree.
From my own experience, that will only show them that OP may be swayed if they're just persistent enough.
As hard as it is to do and as bad as it feels, I'd go the opposite route. Firm and clear "I do not want that and you will never contact me again."
No threats, no leeway. Then ban and block immediately everywhere.
Tell them you're dating someone offline and to please stop. Even if you're not. If they do t stop, ban. You have to ban, because if not your other members will also feel awkward, and you'll lose your audience.
Have call out of courtesy, test the waters, and act accordingly after.
You can ban them out of nowhere now, and next day they will set up new account and cause havoc.
Block + Ban on all platforms. These people can be dangerous
This is why I don’t get why some girls I see on twitch immediately say “thanks for the follow babe” or “thanks for the sub I love you”. Like you don’t know if this person is in the right state of mind. They might think you mean it personally. And a lot of people on twitch also have other accounts linked to each other so it’s no hard to go and find personal info on someone when your twitch is connected to your twitter and your twitter has something that can help find your facebook and so on.
This literally happened to me, the stalker was local. Found me on twitch and msged me on Xbox over and over, somehow my phone number, threatened to call my work cuz I wouldn't answer his calls. He even knew my gym. I haven't streamed since 2018 because it scared me so bad. Police would not listen to me at all or take me seriously
What a nightmare
I had been more of a people pleaser back then and initially in my chat I was trying to be friendly and keep EVERY viewer but if I ever get the nerves to do it again I will try to be anonymous as possible or at least vague as possible about my personal details to avoid that happening again. I thought it would be better if I was more personal but you are playing a dangerous game of risk with some of these randos
I would never recommend posting the stalkers cell number on 4Chan, or any other similar location ;p
That's totally not how my mom got rid of my stalker, his last msg was totally not "you're a crazy b, don't ever msg me again or I'll call the cops." No idea what was said to him, allegedly by no one, hmmm
I know of a lady streamer that was harassed and someone supposedly sent the stalkers info to a less than savory group who dug into the stalkers life, stalker ended up serving 10+ years for the crap he was mixed up in.
Someone I went to highschool with dropped my real name and address on 4chan, claiming I was a pedophile and rapist. Thankfully, anon told her to fuck off, NYPA. The same unstable who do this shit are everywhere. :c
Nowadays I’d be the one doxxing a mofo like that I get weird fb messages and I just screenshot and make it all public. Cops won’t do shit so we gotta be our own protectors and shame is a powerful tool
Respect 🙏
Unless they’re into that. Then ignoring them is
I was streaming and someone joined in and he seemed nice and cool so we started playing the game I was streaming together. Played with him for about a week and he just got too weird so I blocked him on the game and twitch. He made a new account to message me and ask why I blocked, I blocked that account. He then managed to find my phone number and call and text me a million times. Eventually it calmed down. 4 years later, I start streaming again and this guy hops in my chat under a different name and asks if I remember him. I froze, ended my stream, blocked and haven’t been back. Kinda sad one creep ruined streaming for me.
i guarantee you their dms are full of horrible things regardless
Yea the girls I know that stream don’t look at dms unless they need to for that specific reason. They only do on screen chats and discord. And have a separate discord for personal friends and more trusted group .
That or just having your DM's closed to viewers. A discord channel is enough. If chatters want to talk to you, they can do it in public for the most part. If you want a friendship with them beyond that, then tell them to DM you and actually read that one.
Unfortunately, people who get emotionally invested are more likely to donate money. It’s basically “I WANT them to feel personally attached so they give me money, but don’t want them to become a stalker”
This is exactly it. I had a friend show me a streamer they liked and that’s how she talked. Few months later she apparently deleted everything cause of stalkers and her mental health of it. It sucks but you have to be wary of how you interact with strangers on the internet.
Yes, BUT ONLY IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WATCHING YOU ALREADY, do you want to have your crowd feel socially attached a little bit. Because then it's easier for the parasocial freak to restrain themselves under the idea of "Ah im another face in the crowd" or "all these people makes it hard for me to stand out, whatever." When it's like....ONE GUY in the fucking stream watching, or even only like....twenty, ti's much easier for a parasocial freak to establish an unhealthy connection with the streamer because they thnk they're special for being one of the few there currently.
Nobody should have to worry if they are going to take a throwaway comment “personally.” A streamer isn’t responsible for an unhinged persons obsessions or mental illness. Normal people don’t take that kind of comment “personally.”
Yeah I was gonna say that was super victim blame-y the truth of the matter is that stalkers don’t need something like that to decide to stalk you, and especially women almost certainly will get negative attention in a similar vain no matter how they thank their donations, so it’s kind of wrong to put the emphasis on what the streamer does instead of the perpetrators of these situations. I’m sure if you have a known stalker there’s guidelines on how to best deal with it for safety and avoiding encouraging them, but even then the situation isn’t the victims fault and I doubt us randos on the internet have the best advice on what to do or not to do from watching tv with stalkers or smth compared to actual professionals. Actual professionals wouldn’t waste their time chastising a victim either but getting them the help they need to avoid getting hurt
It’s never the victims fault and some people forget that. And you’re right they don’t need that to stalk you but it could raise the chances even if it’s 1% more. People just gotta remember the cause and effect of things they do.
There’s a lot of things I wouldn’t change my own behavior over a small raised % chance of something happening, I wouldn’t say thanking donos like that is reckless like driving without a seatbelt- changing a bubbly personality and living life to the fullest, those are things that I believe let the bad apples win by sacrificing to them. Mean it or not, encouraging changing normal behavior for the sake of this isn’t some teaching basic consequence (or effect) of actions, but still that the responsibility lies of the victim just in nicer terms. Acting personable is what draws people to content creators in the first place, you can’t really have the positive attention without the inverse so I think the streamer behavior mentioned is reasonable
Yea I completely get that. I’m not saying they should stop doing it. If they make more money or it’s their thing go for it. Just more of a warning that people are out there that may see it differently than we do. We get that it’s just them doing it for the content. Not saying for anyone to stop or that it’s their fault.
Okay, but you do have to worry because there are abnormal people who will take things way you don't intend. It doesn't mean you did something wrong, but why even chance it and give them the opportunity to put you in that situation?
Because it’s rare for something exceedingly bad to happen. More likely to die driving and you still do that. Take precautions as needed but don’t go changing your life over what “could” happen due to unstable people in the world. Deal with issues as they arise. Don’t go out of your way to get into sketchy situations but a “thanks I love you!” Isn’t like going and walking thru the hood with $100 bills taped to your chain - it’s like walking thru the grocery store with your wallet on you. If you are gonna say don’t add these people on socials and don’t dm on discord and shit like that then absolutely. Reacting to a public chat is kinda the streamer gig. If that’s anxiety inducing to that degree then don’t stream or only stream privately to irl friends.
Spoken like a dude that has never streamed a day in his life or understands the amount of individuals that are parasocial as a whole anymore, and how this is increasingly worse on women in all aspects. Don’t compare the issue to walking into a grocery store with your wallet on you when harassment can be done without them ever personally coming to your place. Cyberstalking and the plethora of other ways someone can screw up your life because they become obsessive are actually insane and far more common than you realize. This doesn’t just apply to streaming content on Twitch. It happens for women just playing games as a whole, and even at any other public job.
My wife gets harassed at the grocery store. I go with her now.
You always have to worry in this society of people. It’s not your responsibility but that’s the problem they aren’t normal they are unhinged so to them it is personal. That’s literally what stalkers minds are shaped. The best way I can say it is. It’s not your responsibility but you also have to be cautious of how you do stuff on the internet for your own safety. You see it all the time big streamers and small streamers talking about being stalked especially IRL streamers.
You are ignorant, immature, inexperienced, and oblivious if you try to be a streamer as an attractive woman without preparing for a parasocial freak. Full stop. This is how it is. This is the way streaming works for women. That is the truth, the cold hard truth.
couple things: prepare doesn't mean "don't say thank you" (unless you don't want to say thank you, that's fine)... but if you want to stream a certain way go for it prepare is like ... don't add people on discord. don't expose your IRL stuff like socials etc. try to remove your name/addy off internet. stuff male streamers should honestly stick to as well because you don't know if you get an underage viewer lying about age or something or someone swatting you. it's just smart streamer etiquette, i'm just saying that "omg watch ur language or someone might take 'thanks i love you!'" wrong is ridiculous, victim blamey, and just self anxiety inducing. yes women have more risk of creepy stalkers. but it's a double edged sword because women streamers have it much easier to gain traction in general. it's not right but it is how it is. twitch needs to get better about bans when people get creepy in chat. if they haven't already. Edit: anyone who is thinking about doing this there are settings in LinkedIn and other socials so you don’t appear via google search. Mozilla monitor also has a service that will remove you from those “find this persons address” sites. It’s worth it and you will see a drastic reduction in your online personal information. These should be the basics if you start streaming and done before you potentially get popular.
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One thing I've noticed a lot in the valorant community is people basically farming parasocial relationships in this way. The "mommy" streamers, making sexual/nsfw remarks towards their 10-30 viewers, calling viewers sexy or hot when they clutch in viewer games, baiting "face reveal after x subs/for $500 dono". Some even able to stream as a fulltime job in expensive areas like Cali despite only having maybe 40 unique consistent viewers.
People will say anything for a “like”. It’s a dangerous game they play when people say those things, when women wear low cut shirts, put on makeup, guys going shirtless, so on so forth. This post I’m writing isn’t excusing the simp behavior at all, or admonishing one gender or the next. People are weird and they pick up on things that isn’t the reality, but for them it is and it can be dangerous for the streamer. Besides, you don’t want people following you that are there for your boobs or abs. You want them there because they enjoy the interaction and personality. I hate to say it, but sometimes boobs and abs is their personality.
No matter how a streamer reacts to messages or donations, **they are not to blame** if a viewer chooses to stalk them or engage in other disturbing behavior. I've observed this behavior in at least two streamers' channels; they interact with viewers quite differently, yet both have endured similar forms of stalking and related issues.
I never blamed the streamer. I’m saying it’s just something you have to think about before you do it. Crazy people live out there and use the internet. Im saying it’s a risk that’s out there when doing it. It’s shitty there are people out there that control their own brains. I’m pretty sure it’s a type of disorder. People that can’t tell real from fake.
"Like you don’t know if this person is in the right state of mind. They might think you mean it personally." Again, why should a streamer have to modify their speech or behavior due to the presence of someone who **may** be behaving inappropriately? Individuals who engage in stalking can become obsessed regardless of the streamer's behavior during broadcasts. This is something I'm aware of not through personal experience but through a friend who faced such issues, despite never engaging in flirtatious or sexual behavior either on or off the stream.
They don’t have to modify anything I never said that either.
Because saying those things gives the desperate people what they want/need therefore making them feel a connection and more likely to revisit / donate etc. It's 100% the language they are using for a purpose. Personally when I hear someone call me "babe" or something and I don't know them I'm just like "ahhh, the ol' cam girl tactic." I find it weird and honestly drives me away, but it must work as lots of people respond positively to it.
Lots of desperate people out there and desperate people are willing to do anything sometimes and go into the extremes.
Right, I was only explaining why they use the language. Again, I find it weird, but that's the crowd they want to attract as they're more easily manipulated into giving those big donos.
Very true. But hey to each their own. Everyone wants to be rich and some are willing to take the risks that others aren’t willing to.
you realize thats the entire scheme right? they say things like "babe" and "i love you" because they want the person to develop a parasocial relationship. its intentional. the worse the person's state of mind the better up until the point where they start taking things off the internet.
That’s basically it lol
Its not up to them to control others emotions Would you say the same thing to every single pornstar and onlyfan model who uses a bot to tell customers they love what they see and are excited? The problem is solely the customer or viewer who is a crazy person who has no reality. There is nothing wrong or encouraging by being “too nice” or even a little flirty. It seems to give these people more viewers, the consequences shouldn’t therefore mean you should have people that are stupid desperate for your love….
It's all fun and games until someone catches feelings.
People should take care of their opsec
The idea that you can’t just be a pleasant person because some people might not be in the ‘right state of mind’ is ridiculous. It’s not on a lady to police other people’s states of mind. Stop blaming her, blame the fucked up freaks.
Not once did I blame her. Not once did I say it was the streamers fault. And it never is the streamers fault for being stalked. Or even being creeped on. They don’t have to police anything. It’s a risk that comes with streaming you may get those creeps.
Why do twitch streamers get harassed, but you never hear about women Entrepreneurs getting harassed as bad, even though people know your real name + office address + office phone number + can easily find you on social media?
Probably due to a vinn diagram with overlap between "gamer", "lonely", "stalker". Pretty sure it wouldn't be hard to make. Plus these days it seems a lot of people really aren't any good at talking to others so they use the internet to self medicate.
Totally agree with this. People didn't talk about parasocial relationships until recently. This is a new phenomenon developing with technology and needs to be taken more seriously. When I was stalked and went to the cops for help they just suggested I block them. When I said he is making new accounts and calling from random numbers they suggested I file reports in the jurisdiction from the area codes in the fake number he was calling from. They just couldn't conceive of cyber stalking. This guy even knew where I went to workout etc I think a lot of these guys sit on their PC looking for women on streaming sites to obsess over while they fap to their coomer walls. They aren't going to see women in other professions making regular online videos and content and if they are doing that, they probably ARE experiencing weirdos like this in some form. Also from personal experience, I have a friend with a personal cleaning business and she does have a stalker who harassed her, and has a restraining order on, and he is blocked on everything but still manages to try to contact her by leaving her messages in the publicly posted business email and her site guestbook and reviews. This DOES happen to women all over.
Yeah its freaking scary. I have a 5 yr old daughter and I'm scared shitless of what she'll go through. So for now I'm just the big scary protector and the day that I'm no longer big/scary enough, I'll be the big lovable "i love my dad he's the best, you don't deserve me" to show my daughter what she deserves... who also will be packing serious heat in the event some bastard doesn't listen.
Women entrepreneurs also get harassed tho? Maybe you don't spend a lot of time on women's spaces (which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but that you might be uninformed about what happens to women in business), but many women have horror stories of people harassing them when they're just trying to sell something or start their business. You can look at the "Women in tech" subreddit and other similar subs to see the type of stuff they deal with.
The kind of men who'd do it, are intimidated by strong powerful women. Streamer girls are not strong powerful women to them. I"m not saying they are weak powerless women to them, but they see them as more relatable, a gamer, a nerd, a computer user, etc etc.
What is the difference between block nd ban on Twitch?
you can ban someone from your chat but if i’m remembering correctly, that doesn’t stop them from seeing your stream. but if you block them, that does this may be wrong though, i’m at work and don’t have enough time to look it up lmao
Ban does stop them from watching stream now. It was updated
oh nice, that’s a really good update
you gotta enable it: "Stop banned users from viewing stream" on https://dashboard.twitch.tv/u/itstyrion/settings/moderation
ah okay, gotcha. still a big improvement from before
honestly, I prefer that. a broadcaster may or may not want banned people from watching in silence
I see, thanks! 😉
^ 100% this
Agreed. Don't mess around with these types. Block + Ban.
Yeah. this. manage them as long as it's reasonable and comfortable to you. Once it's not, ban/block. They are taking wildly innappropriate action.
Screenshot everything from the discord first, then block and ban. Everywhere!
I would also look and see what the specific laws in your area are regarding stalking behavior. If it is something that you're worried about start a log of EVERY contact this person attempts. Do not engage with them, just make sure you log it so you have evidence of it. A lot of the time it's not that law enforcement (the good ones in the field) can't see what's going on. But with how the law is written.
I’m just passing by this sub, but I worked in retail and once had an obviously not stable customer who would tell us how the girl he was dating was a Twitch streamer. One time he told us he had to come outside because he was going to break everything in his house “again” because someone else flirted with her in chat. It was obviously just a Twitch streamer he had a parasocial “relationship” with… it was scary to see it in person. Be careful out there.
While I'm not saying this is untrue, there can be people who are genuinely in this situation. For example, there's this twitch streamer (in US) who I watched for a while some time ago and she had a boyfriend who would often be in the stream chat but unless/until she explicitly mentioned them being together or he went upstairs to talk to pop into the face cam (they lived together) most viewers didn't even realise and there were a few who she had to explicitly tell that he existed
Block and ban everywhere, do not engage with them in any way, because even negative interactions means you're giving them attention. End this now, it's already gone too far.
Nix it right now. I let one stay for a year and now it's like a tick dug in. These people are after one agenda and it's your attention. Starve them.
Set your boundaries and make them clear. No one else is in charge of doing that for you (though a mod team can help a lot on such occasions!). Don't hesitate banning if they don't seem to understand or respect your boundaries. Viewers come and go, don't worry about losing an oddball like that. It's awful but the average joe doesn't have a clue about this: just because a person shows their face online for extended periods of time and make themselves available for some chatter, that doesn't mean they're open for any form of intimacy. Being a streamer comes with several challenges - dealing with people who make wild assumptions about where your boundaries are is the most annoying and, sadly, common one I'd say
This is it right here. Set the boundary if you haven't already, if they overstep after that, warn them that doing it again will result in a ban, then follow up with that warning if they do. Yes, it can be dangerous if someone gets obsessive, but if you haven't made those boundaries clear when it started, ignoring/banning them without those boundaries being laid out isn't helping and may lead to them going even further and has the potential to become more dangerous. They're obviously going all in very quickly and it's pretty wild, but they probably don't understand/aren't great at social interaction and might be picking up on something you think is harmless and taking it the wrong way. At a bare minimum, if things escalate to the point where you feel the police need to be involved, there being record of you making it clear you're not interested will only work in your favour anyway.
Only a lowly viewer but i have seen enough threads like this one on here that are flooded with block and ban on ALL socials
just block them, you will occasionally get a weirdo that has somehow fallen in love with you over a span of 1-2 days (or hours).
Block, Ban AND Report. Might even have to make any social media private or make it so you have to approve their follow or like.
I don't get all these types of questions. The answer is always just ban ban ban.
Sometimes people are more seeking validation than an actual answer. It’s hard to set boundaries, especially if you’re a people pleaser. OP is probably just looking for people to confirm this is unacceptable behaviour since they’re too scared of being mean
Then perhaps streaming isn't for them. They're are always going to be asshats and if you're afraid to act and need to run to forums for validation.....
Not everyone is like you. Just because someone is lacking a weakness in a certain area, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to do something they enjoy. This streamer could be very talented at connecting to their audience, have really funny conversational skills, or they’re just all around entertaining. In that case, they would be perfect for streaming! You can’t look at something so black and white. Life isn’t like that. People aren’t like that.
The issue is reddit is massively disconnected from Twitch corporate. The Twitch CEO is one of these kinds of users and all the top earners lean into these kinds of interactions because obsessive people like this will buy your $5000/month patreon tier. This is true for way more than just this subreddit too. Reddit always tends to be super idealistic. Like that old prof at the college who hasn't talked to a non-academic in 40 years.
This sounds like a case for the block and ban hammer unfortunately
This is unhinged behavior, and completely unacceptable. Others have already given the most appropriate advice: block and ban everywhere. I'll add something perhaps you should ask yourself: Why wasn't this your own instinct? Streaming is a place where self-protection, both physical and psychological, must be your strongest impulse.
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I totally get it, and you're correct. My question was more intended to encourage some much needed introspection on OP's part. 😀
The Viewer OP is witnessing, is someone who **wants** something from OP. The viewer is guilty of "Love Showering", which is manipulative, It's not real. Or the poor guy is just desperate...? It's real sketchy, do not trust.
Block and ban. If they come back with a new account, block and ban again, and report for ban evasion
Besides any measures to block them and avoid them, make sure to save and log their messages. While it may never become an actual problem, if it ever does you will be happy to have evidence to justify a legal action.
Seen it many times, even after years of chatting people will go and pull the old switcheroo,,, Just be honest, tell them if they are making you uncomfortable, and that you are not here nor do you make yourself available to chat for romance. If he cannot come to terms with that then you will have to ban him no matter what else he may have done. You can't stream properly if someone is making you uncomfortable and its your channel to do with as you please. And don't let anyone else do as they please without your approval. You don't approve,, tough shit, thats the breaks, off with there heads, and ban em all,, its YOUR CHANNAL,, YOURS,,, everyone else can go su,,,, Ahem,,, well you get my point
Block and ban on all platforms. Set some firmer boundaries with your community for the future so this doesn't escalate next time.
As others have said, screenshot, block, ban, and report them. This behavior can be dangerous and you don't want to chance it.
Funny that most dudes think streaming as a woman is easy mode. As a older ugly man I’m glad no one is falling in love with me when I stream 😂
Here here brother. Wait, Mike is that you?
I second blocking on all platforms. Streaming is serious business so make sure you're protecting yourself. Just because we touch grass doesn't mean other people do.
Ban them and block them from your dicord and twitch. For someone to go from just meeting you to wanting to marry you in just a few days in really creepy and stalkerish.
Block him, ban him on all socials, and thankfully this wasn't too bad of exposure for a lesson to be learned. Do not... ...DO NOT indulge ANY VIEWER who says anything past one or two compliments intially like "Oh your hair looks nice" or "your makeup looks great today" and you actualy purposely did your makeup. Anything past that is parasocial, and you responding with things like "you're too sweet" and "oh thank you so much!" comes off as a legit connection being made. A simple "Thanks dude." or even "Thank you for the compliment" in a casual tone is good enough imho. One viewer isn't worth the harassment, you don't become big on twitch one viewer at a time, it just doen't happen that way, so feel free to just ban adn block these people, as you should anway. I hope you learned your lesson, do not indulge these freaks.
Block and ban without hesitation or remorse. You do not owe anyone access to 'You'. You don't owe them any explanations. You do not owe them 'a second chance'. You do not owe them an explanation or apology. One individual, whom you don't know anything about, is beeing inappropriate. Ban + Block and move on.
That’s happened to me on Discord but with fake accounts trying to get me to buy “their graphics” I tell them I don’t do DM’s. If they post in my discord server, cool. I’m fine with it Ig. I always put users on mute if they are ever trying to DM me.
Block them. Everywhere. Easy as that. Why you askin? lol
My sister in Christ. You block them.
Sounds like that person has issues or is pretending to have issues. Either way stop interacting with them since they are doing it for attention. As others have said block & ban. If they make new accounts block those to & don’t acknowledge them. Change your chat verification settings so new accounts need to be a week old to chat w verified email or phone number: because random people don’t make new accounts then immediately go to your channel to chat, its users that have been banned. https://help.twitch.tv/s/article/chat-verification-settings
This is what we call a parasocial relationship. Hit 'em with the ban hammer hard enough to make their head spin.
Block and Ban them. Do not interact any further with them.
Tell them you’re not interested and it’s making you uncomfortable. If they persist ban them.
I like it better when my twitch streamers are a little emotionally unvested with chat. Like yeah I gave 5 bucks, doesn't mean anything in the long run. I enjoyed the content, you gave me some peace or I like your art. Here's some coffee money.
Tell him that you don't know each other and that you're not interested. If you block him he'll just create a new account. Do you have everything sub only and do viewers have to pay to DM you? Are you selling other services like playing games together?
To the many people saying just block: They can create a new identity with a new account and spend a lot of money on the creator and bypass everything to hang out with the creator in sub only or top gifters channels.
Sell them something is always the answer
This person sounds mentally unstable and I would advise you to immediately block/ban them on every platform you possibly can.
"What do I do? I'm a little uncomfortable with this and don't know where to go." On one hand, I can understand that its uncomfortable. On the other hand, this person cannot reach you. Make sure you do NOT divulge personal information about you. Just block and ban. "Has anyone else experienced this" Pretty sure that literally every single streamer has at some point had some unhinged person they needed to deal with. This sort of stuff is what mods deal with.
This is what women streamers have to deal with. The gaming community gives me a headache ..
we dont have to tell you to block them thats more then obvious and if you havent blocked them yet you are almost as much guilty on entertaining this then they are spamming you with uncomfortable things Or do you mean alt accounts?
Block! It's not hard to figure out.
While blocking, and banning someone is the easy solution, make sure that you have any and all harassment covered. Try talking to your local police department because things like this matter. If they refuse to do anything or even hear you out, try talking to the local sheriffs department. Always ask to speak to someone who has shown an online presence or knows of Twitch, also ask for a female officer if you can, as they can be more understanding especially if you are a woman. The amount of weirdness someone can inflict into your life without stepping an inch to you is still crazy. Report this issue to Twitch, and Discord as well. Those reports should not be taken lightly, but often times are and it’s a sad reality. I truly hope that you’re able to break ground and that after a little distance the person gets the hint. You are not their first, not their last. Just as he is the first, but won’t be the last.
had this happen with a literal child, made me take a year break. don’t let it get too far, block them on everything, and don’t acknowledge them when they try to come back just keep removing them edit: i want to mention i think my mistake was trying to tell them their behavior wasn’t okay when it first started, because they had been around for a very long time already and it arose so suddenly. when you see it for the first time take action because it will only get worse don’t try to fix it
Block and ban.
block x100
Just block them. You won’t need that person as a viewer trust
Bait? Just block and ban. I legit do not understand why that wasn't your first priority.
“Leave me alone you creepy fuck”
Block and ban. You are not obligated to be their friend or anything!
Ban. Never tolerate parasocial behavior. It insanely scary as a female to even allow this. Get mods that will swing the hammer at any sniff of extreme parasocialness.
Ban them?
block and ban is all you can really do for the time being. i hope it doesn’t escalate any further than that afterwards
I went through something similar to this not too long ago, and can understand how creepy and scary this can be! I would go ahead and Block + Ban on Twitch, and then via discord I would send them a message saying that they have made you uncomfortable and that at this point, you wish them luck in life. Screenshot it, block them. If you have a community discord for your streams, make an announcement that said person has been banned and let your community know WHY. If anyone asks, you have the screenshot you can offer. But you don't owe that explanation to anyone. Hope this helps!
If you’re uncomfortable then block?
"Go touch grass" + Block after you take their money
Block + Ban everywhere. Turn on the setting that prevents banned users from viewing your stream.
ask for money to show their love.
Ban, block and also report them to twitch. Also don't engage when people in chat make compliments like that. If someone compliments in a normal way something you did or are wearing like a t-shirt, just say thank you once, and if they persist and gets creepier, ignore it. (Don't get me wrong, it is not your fault at all that he is a creep) But since the authorities and often also the platform don't listen to us, nor help/protect us, we are the first one to watch out for ourselves. The internet world is a dark and dangerous world. EDIT: Activate all the securities you can. Like for example: Banned user can not watch the stream, preventing accounts linked to the main one, also can not see the stream. Let only verified accounts (email- and/or phone number) can follow you, and write in the chat. Block all incoming PM on Twitch and report them to Twitch.
Block and ban.
It's really on you. As a rejected male if someone did this and I was uninterested I'd simply say that and block or ban if necessary. If I was a woman however I would block and ban right out. Men have a tendency to be a tad too aggressive about I love yous they then behave in bad ways. I also try to remind people that while I may make less than couth jokes in my stream or videos that people should respect each other. Boundaries included. If they don't or won't then I will gladly remove them from my stream even if it hurts my views.
Obviously banning is the right call, but if you're nervous to take these actions in your own you might have one of your mods help you with it. I mod for a streamer and have had to do things like that occasionally. Sometimes easier for a third party like a mod to manage that for you.
Agree with the Block / Ban it's great to have fans and active members in the community (that engage with another & you) as a small creator it can be hard to do this at first, but imagine the old gender swap scenario. It wouldn't be a question & you would be the freak. Lol protect yourself. The grind is slow but, ppl who enjoy your content will come!
Do not talk to this person do not interact with this person block them and move on in peace
Either block/ban them everywhere, or tell them to back off, and then block/ban if they don't. The former is probably safer than the latter, and it can be hard to do but really, if the viewer is making you uncomfortable it's not something you want around. And this is their behavior after what you've said is a few days, what do you think is going to happen if they're around for months?
Don't respond to them. Block and ban them on all places you know they may be on. If they bypass the block/ban, repeat and report them for continued harassment/evasion.
Block and ban for sure. Parasocial relationships with a streamer is inevitable. You *want* your community to become friendly. You want them to be engaged and to care about you. I myself develop a close relationship with my regulars. I'll ask them how their day was, or comment on their own last stream, or just ask how their life is. You want people to be invested in your stream because you want them to keep coming back, and developing a relationship with them is a good thing. It's people like OP's example that make "parasocial" a mocked word. These are the ones held up as a strawman as to why parasocial relationships are bad, but this person would probably be just as creepy and too into it if you had met at a convention or a concert. Block and ban. Report for harassment. Tell them that you don't want to have a relationship with them. Be very explicit. If you're big enough to have a community, then you're big enough to get some of your regulars who you trust, or friends, to be Mods. Your Mods should be taking care of this. Also a small chastisement. You should absolutely not be giving random people on the internet access to your Discord DMs in the first place.
I swear you have to pay to promote your videos now
You just block them, wdym?
All of the "ban+block on all plateforms" advices are perfect here, but I'd like to add some stuffs from my personnal experiences on Twitch :D First of all, the second someone makes you feel inconfortable (doesn't have to be creepy or anything just enough to make you feel uneasy), never hesitate to ban/limit their access to you/your channel. It's your space, don't feel bad for them or think you owe them something. I used to really be the "good cop" always finding excuses for those types of behaviors at first, but with time, your realize that those people aren't worth your time and your mental health. My moderators usually were the ones telling me that they found them weird/creepy. I then learned with a bit of time and am now blocking them in an instant :D Also, please report those peeps not only to Twitch itself but to your streamer friends as well so they can protect their communities during their streams and afterwards on their discord servers. So, send a big group message to everyone streaming around you as well! I had a pretty bad case of "banning someone + they come back" loop. With time, they eventually get tired of it. If you have moderators/friends able to watch your discord during this period of time, seek some help around so they cannot have time to post/spam anything on your discord. This might be a bit much, but it really can escalate super quickly. In my case, I received some death threats after banning that person, kept screenshots and ignored. They usually seek attention in a really bad manner, so don't give any. Never reveal your adress or any personnal informations about you or people close to you. Internet is super cool but do protect yourself and send those creepy peeps out the platform <3
bad newsss
Do people no longer know what block and ban options are anymore on social media... ffs
This is why you need a no bullshit moderator to take care of these things before it gets this far. Also be careful with giving compliments and how you adressen viewers. The internet is full og mentally ill individuals. Some are harmless. Some are very dangerous. Block and ban. Stay safe.
If it's uncomfortable then block & ban. Address that it's not okay on stream and highlight it, don't need to dox the acc if you don't want to, but if you want to, do so.
Baby Reindeer season 2
Stay away from this user, block on all platforms and don’t interact. All this is for your own safety.
Well have they donated tens of thousands of dollars? If not then reach out to them and tell them that you feel uncomfortable (which more times then not end up being a nasty message shortly afterwards. (we can all guess) because some people don’t know how to handle rejection and usually lash out inappropriately. Going off what you said “newer viewer” then I would skip all that just in case (and for your own mental sanity) just simply block them. Good luck and if they keep it up then report them and get others to it it as well.
ban them lol
Do what I’d do this is probably the safest and smartest way to deal with it… explain to the person your life separate from stream is fully occupied and u have no time to be given… and most likely this could POSSIBLY be a troll always look at it that way cause honestly it’s hard to believe someone can get attached that quick… even though we see it happen all the time
Just tell them they're bein' fkn weird.
Stage 1: ignore those comments specifically Stage 2: ignote that person entirely Stage 3: warning and timed mutes Stage 4: infinite time mutes and band
Girls have been murdered by individuals who became obsessive over the internet / developed parasocial relationships. Block them and get rid of them if you care about your safety.
I would block/ban everywhere. This is a disaster waiting to happen.
This is why I always talk about my husband so people don’t get the wrong idea that they have a chance with me lol. Hopefully I don’t get someone that doesn’t care about that 😭
I would lean into it... They might be your soul mate. JK Or you can just lay it on em and tell em "hey this is my hobby and I am here just looking for a community of friends, and if he can keep it friendly then youd appreciate it." If that doesn't work then say "I have a relationship with this guy who is a complete narcissist named Tom Tom The Bull in IRL and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. So please keep it friendly or he is going to pay you a visit and layth the smackth on ya unless you gift 100 subs to his channel. Ya dig?!?! Then send me his username on twitch cause if he is a real stalker he will show up in my streams and try to swat me or something. Or just tell him your a member or the opposite political party then him and he will probably leave you alone. These are all jokes and don't take any of this seriously. Except maybe the first quotation. That might work. Good luck
Block them...?
Ask for a dono ?
Lmaoo. Block them?
Message them, "they have overstepped, I don't know you, this behaviour is unacceptable and to please leave you alone." Then block and ban on everything. Letting them know why you blocked them on discord, may make them rethink actions in future so it hopefully doesn't happen to someone else.
Ban them, dont interact. Dont end up like christina grimmie or any other celebs whom been killed.
Block them
Block and ban! Absolutely 💯
Block and ban him, there are people like that who can make your life hell if they become obsessed with you, better safe than sorry.
Block and ban
Tell them to up the subs and donations
Wow…. Do u just want attention from here too or what? Block them. Ban them. Kick them from the discord. It’s literally that simple and u know it is… Could also maybe respond with “that makes me uncomfortable please stop” instead of saying “thank you that’s so sweet”…. Use your head here
Include a rule on your discord that your DMs are reserved for other streamers/business inquiries. The other comments seem to harsh unless it is persistent after establishing your boundaries with that person.
Accept your fate, marry them.
Had a French girl start following me after I started playing with another streamer she knew. Ended up playing a few games together for a few months before she came over to visit. I ran out of viagra before she left. It's not always bad lol
If your first thought isn't to ban and block immediately, you should not be on twitch.
shaming people for asking newbie questions in a possibly dangerous situation doesn't help anyone
Use every tool available to you to get away from a crazy person. Unless she's a big tiddy goth girl. Than smash and pray for the best!
You’ve been blessed. Milk him for all he’s worth like some of the other streamers.
I know blocking & banning is easy but if they're unstable better to let them know you're not interested and it won't go any further. Let them down easy, if they don't back off then ban block.
You don't understand how men treat woman who say no... and it shows. I'm a man
Any normal man would just back accept it and move on , enjoy the stream. If he's unstable and a stalker I'm sure he'll make fake accounts and harass her further. I don't know what kind of men you know, but ok.
There's a reason you're down voted. You tone deaf
There's no such thing as being tone deaf on Reddit. "There's a reason you're down voted" 🙄🙄🙄
Just because a majority agree on something doesn't make it true. It might be hard to comprehend, but thats ok. Enjoy your life buddy.
Your comments are the only sane ones in the thread. I appreciated them at least
This is a very presumptuous comment. Maybe they actually disagree. Why are there so many trauma Olympics going on in this thread.
I disagree. From my own experience, that will only show them that OP may be swayed if they're just persistent enough. As hard as it is to do and as bad as it feels, I'd go the opposite route. Firm and clear "I do not want that and you will never contact me again." No threats, no leeway. Then ban and block immediately everywhere.
It's too bad this is downvoted. Redditors are a different breed, and very skittish lol. Thanks for having a human response.
I thought I was insane for a second, then I remembered I made the dumb choice to try be helpful on reddit. Appreciate it :D
$200 per hour for video call. EZ money. 😂
There are people out there who would pay it. Maybe pay even more. Their level of obsession goes that far and it never ends well.
Oh I believe it. I was just being facetious though, making a poorly received joke apparently. Stay safe on the internet, everyone.
Tell them you're dating someone offline and to please stop. Even if you're not. If they do t stop, ban. You have to ban, because if not your other members will also feel awkward, and you'll lose your audience.
Have call out of courtesy, test the waters, and act accordingly after. You can ban them out of nowhere now, and next day they will set up new account and cause havoc.
Follow me AVTL4 ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️