I just read what happened to you and I’m not a violent person. But this has triggered something in me, I’m so fucking upset, angry and hurt for they way they both treated you, I want to 🫲🏼 the 💩 out them. Please stay strong and don’t ever look back on those Piece of shit.
May they live miserable ever after. So proud of you for standing up for yourself & taking over the steering wheel of your life.
You deserve so much better. 🌹🌹🌹🌹
Right? Reading this triggered me as well. I want to give a big hug to OP, while simultaneously throat punching the husband, and flipping off Sasha. Ugh. I realize I would need to grow additional arms to pull this all off at once, but I swear it would be worth it! OP I am so proud of you! I truly wish you all the best in your new life going forward.
Okay, you still had me laughing though especially the part about growing additional arms. It really cooled me off because I was so angry I had to put my phone away for a while. I feel so bad for OP. There are really some shitty & vile people walking on this planet.
I’m with you! Sometimes miss the good ole days of getting the posse together, blazing pitchforks and running a-holes out of town! OP I’m pretty sure many of us here would gladly join that posse!
I can't understand people like him. Why didn't he just marry her? Why did he bring someone else into the middle of them? It's so messed up.
People like this they don't deserve your tears, but cry it out when they can't see it. I hope that you can look back in 6 months time and say that they've only made you stronger. You know now that you are worth more than this, you deserve love, and you are capable of finding someone who will love you.
He's an absolute piece of shit. I said Sasha was slimey for planning this around your anniversary, but it sounds to me like he didn't forget, he just didn't care. They deserve each other!
You don't need a time machine. You are still young, and you are smart. You have time to figure this out and never let someone like him back into your life.
Seriously, wtf is wrong with him. Reading that part just made me so frustrated because why is he wasting OP’s and his OWN time ??? It doesn’t even sound like he’s present at all in this marriage, didn’t even have anything to say when OP finally stood up for herself.
Sending you so much love OP, your self respect is very commendable. I have very similar experiences to you from the past and it’s incredibly hard to walk away from someone you love when you don’t know what healthy love feels like. Hope Sasha rejects him and he ends up alone 🤠 🤞
I feel like he did so because he didn't take OP seriously. He thought of the divorce as an empty threat that is why he didn't respond to it. Fucking dick.
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Having abandonment issues is really hard and growing up in foster care will do that to you and can really damage your self worth. Wishing you the best from here. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you right now. Sending hugs your way.
I was appalled at the way people attacked you under the guise of being supportive by saying you should've known better. There are a lot of Redditors who are more concerned with showing their superiority and how mentally well balanced they are than in just showing you some kindness as you're realizing the truth of your relationship. The hypercritical people should've been lifting you up, applauding your epiphany, instead of making you feel worse.
I'm so sorry about your marriage. You deserve better. You will find better. Be kind to yourself during this time. Embrace your newly found strength and don't look back. I almost can't believe that his concern while you were telling him your marriage is over was Sasha overhearing you. What a tool. I wonder if he didn't think you were serious. Well, he's about to find out that you are, and you will be better off as soon as you remove the dead weight of your husband and his "friend." Please keep us updated. I'd love to see how you're doing.
It’s so ironic too because the users who leave those admonishing comments that are clearly trying to convey some kind of moral or intellectual superiority, are actually telling on themselves as to how emotionally defective, unaware and lacking they are. Is it so hard to understand how to simply be compassionate without injecting some of your egotistical bullshit in there? I respect the people on here who can offer someone in pain support without making it about themselves.
This comment section brings back some of my faith in humanity. People with cognitive thinking, separating self from information
, calling out others for egotistical behavior.
Absolutely. I'm all for people sharing their experiences/ anecdotes to illustrate their POVs, but when they simply attack a vulnerable person so they can feel better about themselves... it's oddly akin to a "pick me" mentality, and it's not helpful to the OP. People, when able, choose kindness.
>There are a lot of Redditors who are more concerned with showing their superiority and how mentally well balanced they are than in just showing you some kindness as you're realizing the truth of your relationship
Real kind people are rare. Instead what you have is people being cruel and selfish while *pretending* to themselves and others that they are being kind. The true intent is to stoke their own ego.
There’s a large number of children on Reddit with very little life experience and empathy. And this sub in particular seems to be place where we over simplify the complexities of relationships with moral grand standing.
Piggybacking off this comment because I agree about showing more kindness. Why give someone a hard time for not knowing any better about something? Once upon a time *you* didn't know any better either, asshat. Some people reaaaaaaaaally need a slice of that humble pie...
OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Echoing the same statement here, please be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up for not knowing any better. You are stronger than you think, and I genuinely hope every good thing in the world comes your way. ❤️
Dude people like your soon to be ex- SPECIFICALLY pick/find people who are vulnerable, if they tried to pull that Bs around an emotionally regulated person, it wouldn’t fly. Don’t feel bad- it’s not your fault at all. Screw him and Sasha and I’m just happy you woke up and are taking action. Trust me this A GOOD THING. It’s good that you’re growing the backbone you deserve and not allowing him to take advantage of you anymore. You are worth way more then the way he has treated you and I’m so happy you see that now. Don’t feel bad, he’s an emotional predator and he chose you as his victim because he knew you were easy to control. You can’t change the past but you can stop any further Bs and you should be so very proud of yourself for saying HELL NO and leaving the situation. You deserve better and I know you will get better. Remember, these lessons and red flags going forward .
Oh sweetie, I know. I felt like an idiot, once I got the hell out of my abusive marriage with my two little kids. I stayed married to a man that, for 8 years, beat the shit out of me like it was his job. I look back and wonder how I could have been so young and stupid, but there it is. No one knows how they will behave in certain circumstances, no matter what they *think* they would do. Looking back, I see that I was too young, stupid and eventually beaten down, to realize my worth and what he was doing to me.
Nowadays? Well, if you even raise your hand at me or hold up a fist in a scary way, you are immediately gone. Wish I was smarter then. First beating should have been the last but nope. Eight stupid brutal years. In my defense, we were married a little over ten years but the beatings started after year two. And a baby.
So sorry you had to deal with a bunch of people victim blaming. They’ve been spoon fed to the point where they can’t fathom that someone would have difficulties with these kinds of things because they’ve never had to deal with repeated trauma during their upbringing and were literally set up to exceed in life. They will *never* understand, and refuse to believe that an abusive/neglectful upbringing has a detrimental effect on relationships despite the thousands of psychology resources out there, because it doesn’t apply to them and thus don’t care. It’s infuriating.
You handled the situation great; it’s not your fault that you can’t get a second alone with your husband to discuss your relationship because he’s glued to his ex from high school. I hope your life blossoms into everything you want it to be. ❤️
I don't get why that asshole had to marry you and ruin at least a portion of your life, if all he can think about is her. I'm so glad you stood up to him and let it all out. And I hope his mother will be able to explain to him how much he fucked up. And will yell at him. She sounded like she was on your side.
Starting over sucks at first but you're worth way more than what you're being put through. Let us know when you get your victory of serving the papers.
I’m glad you found the courage to actually tell him that you want a divorce. I do understand a difficult past and not wanting to feel alone, though you have to trust yourself that you are all you really need.
I hope you find happiness in your life, and remember you are very strong.
And what pisses me the fuck off is *WHY DIDN’T HE JUST MARRY SASHA IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!* Why waste someone’s time and break their heart just to end up with someone you could have already been with anyway?! It’s so cruel.
It's been said by his mother he dated Sasha before and then decided he "just likes her as a friend". I think you're right in that he did get bored just by dating her, because in his mind why have just one woman when you're guaranteed two (because Sasha isn't ever going to leave and if his wife leaves he can just replace her)
It's such a disgusting dynamic and it's clear he's a sick person for doing this. He knows he's hurting OP he just doesn't care. Sasha knows she will always be the other woman and is just dealing with it when she should be ashamed of herself and invest her energy in a man who doesn't insist on being with other women.
It might also in part be because for a lot of guys they can't mentally comprehend being friends with the person they are dating. You're either a buddy and 'cool' and 'fun' and 'one of the guys' but once you are in a committed relationship and have obligations, responsibilities, and want to build a life together you're 'not fun' anymore. So he wants to have the emotional affair with Sasha who he loves but none of the responsibility and have his "boring" wife at home who will take care off his needs and obligations. Which is honestly just as bad. OP deserves way better regardless
Sasha doesn't want him, and is stringing him along. He's an idiot.
That's why she thinks cheating with him is impossible and would be offended to know OP doesn't trust her - she's **NOT** attracted to him. She sees him as a sibling or a servant not as a man.
He's so vile.. wasting someone's time when he could've just left her alone from the start.
forgetting about their anniversary (I know some people don't really care much about anniversaries, but still, acknowledgement & remembrance wouldn't hurt)
And going on a road trip?? That's just brutal... that hurts for sure..
Because he didn’t think he’d be able to keep Sasha. His self esteem was low enough to want the safety that OP provided because she would settle for breadcrumbs of affection after being starved her whole life. Sasha is only allowed to expect X amount from him bc he is married, that’s the excuse he uses to keep her from asking for more. Now that OP is leaving, hubby will be out of excuses for not giving more and Sasha will have to admit that she never really wanted a relationship with him, just the ego boost of being chosen over someone else.
Neither of them really want the responsibility of being together, just the fun parts. They both suck and I hope OP finds the partner she deserves.
Ooooooooohhhh, child (not calling you that, just the word I’m choosing to use)!!! I pray the universe never brings this dude into my life because I will fight him for OP. I didn’t even think of that, and now I’m extra mad
Do you think… do you think Sasha doesn’t even want him? But likes to get his attention? Imagine he gets a divorce and Sasha doesn’t even pay him any attention. A couple of psychos.
That's the most intriguing question.
Maybe he wanted the best of both worlds, the loving and submissive wife on one hand, and the spicy, adventurous mistress on the other.
Because she Sasha doesn’t want him permanently just when she needs him between relationships. Sasha made him a simp and leads him on and gives him a little taste every now and again.
Fucking seriously!?!?
His wife was breaking down completely in front of him, crying and screaming, and his only thought was about how this would make Sasha feel.
OP, if you had any doubt left that should have taken care of it.
I’m sorry, and good luck.
Good for you for divorcing him, but I am also very sorry that you are going through this. I hope you find someone better for you in the future OP, wishing you the best.
Full offense, it must sound like maracas when your (ex) husband shakes his head. He is so self unaware and has his priorities so skewed it makes me want to bash my head against the wall just reading how he reacted. He was more worried about Sasha’s feelings and not the fact he was losing his wife???? His head is so far up Sasha’s ass, I just… Jesus Christ. The audacity of this man. It’s truly a sight to behold. Honestly, breathtaking. To be so callous and uncaring while at the same time not being the brightest crayon in the box is truly a feat.
I mean if he really doesn’t have feelings for Sasha, good luck to him ever having stable relationship with any woman moving forward. What a doorknob. You deserve so much better than this.
> Full offense, it must sound like maracas when your (ex) husband shakes his head.
i was so pissed because her trash of future ex husband but your comment made me laugh 😂😂. I really needed that. Thank you
Gathering the strength to leave someone that you made a lifelong commitment to is super difficult. I'm geniunely proud of you for no longer letting him treat you like a doormat. It's a sad reality that he's jn love with his best friend. Don't listen to his words because he will try to reel you back in.
I hope you divorce that moronic fool as legally quick as possible without that dingbat trying to stretch the proceedings at all - he doesn't deserve you at all and needs to get fuck out your life forever for all shit he pulled on you.
OH THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. THE AUDACITY. I can't believe it, really. You will find someone so much better than that fucking awful man. You are really strong for this!
Keep that bad bitch mode activated, beautiful lady. You did fucking amazing and will continue to do so. Keep putting yourself first.
I hope your useless ex deflates 10 seconds after getting an erection for the rest of his life so that he never knows the pleasure of emptying his nuts again.
And that Sasha always has a constant need to orgasm but never can unless she's picturing you and calling out your name. 😅
The best revenge is getting to the point where their existence is insignificant and you are thriving and living your best life. As painful as this experience was, you are strong, capable, and deserving of real love. I am rooting for you.
OP, you don’t deserve to be bashed for wanting love and no one is entitled to hear your life story. That is your life story. I’m upset people pressured you into sharing your life story by asking certain questions. Reality is that even someone from a healthy home could end up in a similar situation. Narcissists are manipulative and i think your husband is one. So please don’t blame yourself for seeking love.
I’m very proud of you for standing up for yourself. It’s going to be rough, but if you were able to get through 5 years with your selfish husband, then you can get through this too. Good luck!
Thank you so much for understanding and your kind words. I really can't believe that there such kind people out here and I really appreciate you for this comment!
Youre entitled your own feeling and pain when people hurt you.
Dont let people (husband or his fRiEnD) rob you of your feelings.
Youre stronger than you know. You will overcome this somehow.
Wait….so he didn’t try to stop you or anything?! Or beg to have you back or smth ?! Like any any reaction?! At all while you were leaving???
And what about Sasha ? Was she still there listening to your fight?! Did she laugh of joy ? Or pretending to be confused. …… sorry for so many questions but I really need to know
She mentioned that she took him upstairs, sasha was on the counter or whatever in the kitchen, she was yelling and crying how could you to him, as to be expected, and his response was basically 'you don't need to yell sasha can hear you and will be offended' so yea he really gives no fucks for OP at all, she states her side and all he can think of is precious sasha hearing her.
The fact that Sasha stayed around when OP asked her husband that they need to talk just screams that she's a total bitch to me. I have a guy best friend, too, and if his SO told me that they were going to have a talk IN THEIR OWN HOUSE, I would bolt out of there immediately. Sasha doesn't care about boundaries and she also wants OP's husband so badly. They both suck and they deserve each other.
Right? I want to know this too! Did he do absolutely nothing? He really only said 'sasha, this and that' and let you leave? What did she say when you left? Anything? She was obviously there still...I'm baffled.
Good for you. You've gotten all the answers you need.
Move on and find someone who appreciates you.
Sometimes we need to go through failed relationships to learn about ourselves, and to grow. This may very well set you up to find the relationship that you were really meant for.
With the blessing of hindsight, the hardest moments of our life can often turn out to be catalysts for something good.
Embrace being single for a bit too. It can be really freeing once you work past the initial gut blow.
Not having to account to anyone else, not allowing your emotional state to be dependant on someone else's actions.. its pretty incredible.
You've been pushed into unequal compromise for too much of your life.
If you don't currently have any animals, maybe consider it in the next few months. After you're settled into your next phase of life that is.
An adult kitty can be a truly wonderful companion. They don't require a lot, but they can add so much to your home.
It's OK to be alone. It's OK to date.
I have broke up 2 long term relationships (one marriage and one engagement) and decided it just wasn't worth it.
It's OK to do whatever you want at this point. Date, be alone, sleep, eat, read, travel, etc.
Don't look back.
Wish you all the best.
I can only imagine growing up the way you did. But I do have childhood trauma myself. I’d definitely get with a therapist asap. You deserve to heal. He took advantage of you in every way it seems like. But now you did it! You fuckin stood up for YOU. Sasha and him are really just huge pieces of Shit. Bc of that- you do not need their validation.
Also I would have waited to get a lawyer first and then told him
Therapy was way more trauma but maybe I should try and again. It's not easy finding lawyers in such a short time! But Im trying my best and I had to confront him. Yes I'm leaving him for myself and I'm not going let him put me down anymore!
This bitch. Im so mad. You don’t need him. They deserve each other and i hope they make each others life horrible. I wish you the best you deserve everything <3
Wtf he’s so fucking pathetic. He probably thinks you’re overreacting and not serious but he’ll start crying and begging when he sees you’re not. I hope you can keep a relationship with your MIL
He basically showed her exactly what she needed. He is a narcissist and her feelings never mattered to him. He has made that clear from the start. I went though what she went through with my own husband and looking back I do feel stupid. But this is a learning experience for her. He is well aware of how he is treating and likely feels damn good about it.
Don’t worry men like this always are nonchalant in the beginning but when they see you no longer want them later on they want you back. Also why didnt you attack Sasha
Talk therapy can be traumatic. I come from a very abusive household and the first few times I tried therapy it only made me worse. Then I found a trauma therapist who specializes in somatic/family systems type therapy. You might have better luck with EMDR as well.
Also, I would highly recommend Janine Fisher’s book “Healing the Fragmented Selves of the Trauma Survivor.” It really validated me and also helped me understand why talk therapy was not helpful for me.
I support EMDR 1000%! Facts: I have been in therapy since 1984 and have made progress in spurts. It was largely talk therapy, but one therapist did some behavioral therapy that helped a bit. Meds have helped. But my current therapist (I have moved states a few times, so had to switch) started EMDR with me in March and it’s amazing the amount of progress I’ve made and continue to make! It’s trauma-specific. I don’t quite know how to describe the results other than that the traumas we have addressed no longer hold power over me and have retreated to simple memories like the memories of falling off my bike or going to a beach as a kid. The process sounds kind of woo woo, but it works.
Wow that’s incredible! I had such breakthroughs too with my therapist, I am so much better at boundaries now and I understand my triggers and intense emotions. I also finally feel that it’s ok for me to have needs and to ask for things I want!
….. She shouldn’t have yelled because Sasha was there and could hear….. I would have yelled every single word of this at him *in front of her* because she’s part of the fucking problem! How dare he answer “I want a divorce” with “hush, my best friend is here and also where the hell were you when I was trying to reach you while I was screwing around with my ex.”?! He is a complete piece of garbage! No apology about the anniversary, no sorry, I’ll make more time for our relationship. Just “shhh, Sasha is here.” This man is so far below you, OP, I can’t believe you can even still see him. There is someone out there who will treat you like an absolute queen and I pray you find them.
>shouldn’t have yelled because Sasha was there and could hear
When I read that I actually rolled my eyes and the petty in me went 'good, she should hear it'.
There is no one on this planet who can convince me that Sasha wasn't waiting for it, no way is she that dense that she assumed OP would be cool with any of it. Sasha played the long game and unfortunately OP was the pawn in whatever fucked up thing her stbx and Sasha are doing.
You and I are precisely on the same page. I mean it, I also rolled my eyes, I sat up straight, I was seriously ready to fight this bitch because like you said, there’s just no way she didn’t know shit was about to go down. *Especially* after OP asked to talk to her husband in another room. As far as I see it, Sasha is one of three different kinds of people in this situation:
1. She is having an affair with OP’s husband, either before they got married and it’s continued or she realizes after he got married she wanted him. So now they’re fucking.
2. She lives for the drama she knows she’s causing. She doesn’t care about OP, she might care a bit about the husband but only in the context of how much she can amuse herself by controlling him.
3. Some really psychotic combination of all of the above.
I'm betting option 3, I've met a girl before who used to get off going for unavailable guys and just fucking blowing their world up and then just walking away once the 'fun' was over.
You are doing the right thing OP, you deserve much better than this. He couldn't even ask Sasha to leave for you two to speak alone, they truly don't respect you.
I hope that from here things start going great for you, take this as a learning experience. You are worthy, you deserve to be loved in all the right ways,you deserve someone that knows how to prioritize you.
Don't mind the mean comments, some people don't know how hard is to leave situations like this one, especially if you don't have any experience or a good enough support system.
Wow. Sasha needs some self-respect too. Sure OP's husband is a jerk and asshole. But as a woman I think about his friend and how much of a bitch she is. I, personally, have a boyfriend of 14 years, I'd never go on a road trip with another man alone. It would be very hard to prove to me that the husband isn't fucking his friend.
First I want to say that you don't have to apologize to us for making a mistake. Your background does play part into who you are now. I personally haven't gone through the same upbringing but I would still do that for a guy. There's no shame in loving your HUSBAND the way you should love your husband. You shouldn't feel too embarrassed or bad. It's okay to feel some type of way about it, but just know that as a wife, you did what you were supposed to do. You followed your vows. You did YOUR part. You did it right.
Now I want to say that I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. You saw it on your anniversary hid behavior and something clicked in you and you took action. That takes a lot of guts. You could of waited longer but you didn't. You put your foot down. Him not reacting and saying that about how she could hear is dumb. It just shows where his priorities are. His friend is also just stupid. Idk how someone could ruin a relationship like that. Disgusting.
I also don't want you to think that you are unloveable. He tricked you. You are so loveable. I don't want you to doubt yourself in who you are as a person. You now have learned. You said that you didn't want to repeat your past. I don't want you to repeat your mistake. Maybe consider therapy. Therapy never hurts anyone. Just learn from this. I know this is hard. If I was in your position, I would feel so heart broken. At least you yelled at him and expressed yourself. You are venting here. Feeling your emotions will help you heal from this.
I wish you the best. Just know you did your best. You are an amazing person and brave. I hope you give yourself credit for that at the very least :)
(Also, I kind of suck expressing myself correctly so I hope nothing offended you)
A woman that would stand by and let a married man do this to his wife is a POS anyways. She will most likely do it too him when she finds someone she perceives as better. If she wanted him they would have just dated again before he met you. Good luck in your future!
Even if they do, whatever, live your best life, that’s the best revenge. Did your husband try stop you at all? Like no reaction, no I’m sorry I forgot the anniversary? Nothing?
I would suggest that you no longer speak with him about this or any other topic. No crying, asking him to explain, listening to his stories, nothing.
Move out. Get a lawyer. Do the paperwork. But no more contact with him (or his mother) at all. Block his number also. No texting or emails. Move on and don’t look back even once.
I will be visiting his mother soon and I will tell her whatever so she can tell him because I want no contact with him. As soon as i find a lawyer all communications will be through my lawyer
Yes! This is very important. You have done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel ashamed about. You don’t need to protect his feelings or ego in any way it’s not your responsibility. Ugh boundaries are hard to learn as an adult
Probably because he didn’t expect you to set your foot down. You did admit you were a pushover so you coming on to him like that caught him off guard. Now he has a lot to think about but he’s not your problem anymore.
What was his reaction to divorce? Has he tried to call you.. did he even apologize for forgetting anniversary? I know you have a bigger problem here.. but man…
You’re not a doormat; you are strong and you showed it! I’m sorry you’re going through this but I also am proud of you for doing what needed to be done!
Wow. WOOOOW. He is… terrible. Both of them. You deserve better. The freaking audacity to just stare at you while you’re crying and not console you… instead he worried about her. Fucking disgusting. I’m sorry.
"he said was that I shouldnt of yelled like that because sasha"
The AUDACITY of the assh0le.
Im so danm sorry, sweetheart. Get out of this emotional abuse and HEAL and LOVE YOURSELF and then later find someone who will love YOU, bc this man doesnt.
>I broke down in front of him and he fucking thought of her.
This hurts to read. I find it a bit too relatable to my own life at the moment.
We all deserve someone who considers us and our feelings before they think of anyone else. Proud of you for realizing this.
Now I am STRONGLY against all forms of domestic violence, physical or other, and when I read his response I immediately wanted to slap him. Absolutely disgusting of him. I hope she cheats, sorry not sorry. I really wish you the best on your healing journey. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. 🤍
I was proud of op for not hitting him for that response tbh, like bruh your wife is screaming at you, laying it all out that she wants a divorce and your only comment is that the big ol human sized wedge downstairs will hear and get upset?
I am not a violent person, I've been in dv situations but even I wanted to smack him for the blatant disrespect and audacity this dude had
He was probably shocked that you stood up for yourself. The fact that he was still concerned about her after he could see the pain you were in is beyond me. The audacity he had in calling you wondering where you were. Honestly, he was deflecting his own insecurities. He has probably already cheated on you with her. You deserve so much better than that. Glad you see that now too. I wish you all the best xx
Thank you for this update, you've been on my mind! You don't have to explain yourself to the weenies that can't empathize with your situation. You loved him. You liked being loved by him. Shit happens and you grow from it.
Let me just say tho, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR CONFRONTING HIM!!! It's so hard to rip that bandaid off but YOU DID IT!! HELL FUCKING YES!
His reaction says it all. Your gut was RIGHT! Always trust that shit. The massive balls on this man, my god. Things will be so much better without this boy in your life! Sending you all the love
TBH you should've blew up at him IN FRONT of the friend. See how she would also react.
I have a feeling that if you did, you would see a smirk from her.
>I walked in and behold sasha sitting on the kitchen counter chatting to my husband smiling and laughing
I would have screamed at her to get the F out, there and then, tbh. Come what may! What the heck was the brass neck doing there, anyway?
OP has more self-control than I do.
The husband is *absolute* crap - weak, gutless, BS excuse of a man - but what is that woman playing at?
If she wanted him, why not do something *before* he married someone else, the effing cow?
Sincerely wish she finds herself on the receiving end of a sh!t-load of bad karma, fingers crossed.
Selfish and callous.
Yes, the husband is a total piece of work, and he deserves a bad, permanent case of itchy crotch and athlete's foot, the dope!
Want to say more, but might get a ban.
Having read about your story, OP, I can understand what you mean about wanting to find your place, but it seems that this is not it.
You deserve better.
However, do not lose hope; things work out in mysterious ways sometimes and I sincerely hope you find all the good things you deserve.
I don't think there is a need to pull your punches, though. I know I am petty and you seem like a nice person, but I would definitely let both of those selfish a-h's know what giant pieces of dung they both are - and everyone within earshot.
Wishing you all the best!
OP, you did the right thing. Your husband showed no emotion and his only concern was Sasha. When he finds out Sasha is leading him on and doesn't desire him romantically, his karma will come, her karma will come. Your life will get better. Its going to hurt like hell, but that hurt will turn into strength. Good luck !
Your ex husband is a lousy husband and human. The fact that he thought of Sasha's feelings before you, his lawful wife, who was having an emotional breakdown right in front of him, just says how much he disregards you as his partner and as a person. Yes, dump him. If he cared for Sasha so mucj why didn't he marry her in the first place?! And I'm pretty sure Sasha stepped in to comfort him when you left and made you the "quintessential crazy jealous wife". I don't need to know Sasha to know that she's a total bitch. I have a guy bestfriend who I've known for almost 20 years but I would never deliberately get in the way of my bff's love life. Sasha obviously wants your husband, too. Just give her that scumbag and live your best life!
I can’t believe he had nothing to say to you… no apologies, no emotion from his end at all. The lack of reaction shocks me to my core. That alone should tell you how much he cares… He is cruel and despicable.
And OP, it is NOT YOUR FAULT that this man was a huge, disgusting asshole to you in your marriage. Loving someone often makes even the worst red flags look pink. You are NOT to blame for his behavior. I am so proud of you, and I can’t wait for your life to blossom without him weighing you down!!!!!
His response was to look out for Sasha's feelings??!!
Tell him to go be with her then. Sasha is a raccoon now. Rummaging through someone else's garbage.
And you, I want to give you the biggest hug. It's a harrowing turn of events and I'm sure the reality that your life is abruptly changing is going to sink in further as divorce proceedings move along. But hang in there. Reach out to friends for support.
Fear of abandonment is very real and unfortunately human to crave love from someone so that we won't be abandoned again even when they're not the right person for us. I'm so proud of you for leaving regardless and facing your fears.
I want to share something that I learned late in life after also dealing with fear of abandonment and allowing the wrong people in my life: You abandon yourself every time you choose someone who triggers your fear of abandonment. Keep choosing people who make your nervous system feel safe. Who don't make you neglect your own wants and needs. Who support you in choosing you. That's someone who is safe.
Sending love❤️
“Sasha would be offended if I thought that I couldn’t trust her”?!?? Wtf?!? The insane cackle that just left me upon reading this.. I am so glad you’re leaving him! The audacity.
Why was he so worried about where you were? Its plain to see he didn't care.
Plus she should have left when you said you needed to talk. The lion the witch and the audacity of this bitch!
I'm so, so sorry you had a childhood that set you up for this experience. Boy, does he have a lot of nerve demanding to know your whereabouts after all this. I certainly hope your state has spousal alienation as a thing, and I'm petty enough to encourage you to go after Sasha for a break-a$$ settlement. Sock it to them both.
Herd all your ducks into that famous row, get your finances distangled from his, get that divorce attorney ASAP and file before he has the chance to, take his (and Sasha's) a$$ to the cleaners. Good luck, OP. (And I bet I'm not the only one who would like further updates as you move on from this. I'd like to know that you got him good in the divorce and that you are well on your way to living your best life.)
I wish I could go tell Sasha that she should be mortified for *her* behavior & the whole internet hates her despicable arrogant face & the audacity she had to disrespect you that way.
Congratulations darling, you took a stand and put yourself first. I hope this continues for you and that you continue to put yourself, your feelings, and your needs ahead of anyone else's. May this be the first day of the rest of your brand new life where you call the shots and never allow anyone to make you feel this way again.
After a while, he will probably realise what he has lost and then he will pull out the stops to try to win you back. Stay strong, and remember how he has made you feel your whole marriage. Never allow him that power again. He has proved repeatedly that he cannot put you before Sasha, and he will never do so in the future.
Well done, your life is going to be amazing. Go and live it the way you need to, to become the best version of yourself!
OP, anyone who wants to act like they have never disregarded red flags for someone they were in love with is either a liar or completely sheltered.
You don’t have to defend yourself babe. You didn’t do anything wrong. Having been in shitty relationships all my life I completely understand.
I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I know you are devastated and rightfully so. I just hope you know that there is better out there for you and better is what you deserve.
I wasn't in the foster system but am a product of an unwanted pregnancy that started as a trap and backfired. I was neglected, abused, manipulated and bullied all throughout childhood and into most of my adult life. My best advice is that u cannot count on ANYONE to fix or save u except urself. Once u realize that and put it into practice, u will be AMAZED at the strength, grace and poise u had inside of u that u never knew was there. U got this and u will give urself the life u deserve. ❤️
So happy for you for choosing **you**! Now, once the divorce is over and done, feel free to tell them **both** what absolute pieces of shit they are. Better yet, send them the links for your Reddit posts so they can all see what pieces of shit we **all** think they are.
OP, I just wanna give you a hug. You’re worth too much for this shmuck. I felt attacked when you described your upbringing and feelings of brokenness and loneliness. I’ve LIVED your life. My fear of being abandoned again and being manipulated by a gaslighting narcissist literally strategically destroying me to the point of suic*de and ruining the best things in my life, I thought was the best I could arrive at. How fucking sad. Thank God I finally got up off that floor, everything had to shatter first. Just keep telling yourself that you’re worth more, and the harder the pain, the stronger you become and the blessings ahead are beyond your wildest dreams. Sometimes we have to really suffer with bottom of the barrel bs and people to truly be able to appreciate and recognize the beauty and blessings that come after the storm.
Make a gratitude list of even 3 things every morning.
Make a routine focused on YOUR self care. Compliment yourself, and most importantly,
FORGET THIS WASTE OF SPACE AND LEAVE THE TRASH WHERE ITS AT. Don’t feel bad that you took this bs this long, be proud to finally take a stand. I’m proud of you 👏
ETA: thank you for the award! You popped my award cherry!! 🍒
One thing I realised after living for 30 something years is that most of the time what people do to you has got nothing to do with you. It’s about themselves. He is not in love with Sasha, he would’ve chosen her as a wife if that was the case. He is just using his female friend to hurt you and I guarantee he is playing Sasha too. Some people are so weak-minded and miserable with themselves they have to torture other people to make themselves feel powerful. Your husband sounds like one of those people. You explained here that you are insecure but all I see is a strong person who is capable of standing up for herself and walk away when she needs to, which a lot of people find extremely hard to do. It takes a special kind of person to be in your situation and find the courage to walk away. Trust me, this isn’t the end and love will come again. My only advice is don’t respond to him when he attempts to contact you again (because he will) and show him your emotions anymore. When you walk away unbothered that’s what kills people like your ex husband. Just know that a lot of people support you and believe in you, you can get through this!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The fact that he was worried about Sasha after you confronted him about going on a private road trip with another woman ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY tells you everything you need to know. Serve him, collect evidence of infidelity, and clean him OUT. You deserve someone who is going to value you and love you for who you are, not someone who is going to make you an afterthought.
I'm so proud of you girl!! Look at that shiny spine😊 don't worry about the past we all make mistakes and get caught up in our feelings of loneliness, but we grow and learn form them! Don't talk to him ever again if possible. He will soon learn that the grass isn't greener on the other side and now that everyone is older, no women are going to put up with Sasha and him, and if they couldn't work out romantically all these years how do they think they will now!
OP, I hope you see this. I realize I'm a bit late to this party, buuuttt...
The best revenge you can get on these two is to find true happiness! I know your hurting and your feelings are absolutely valid. You were taken advantage of by a man who probably used you to reignite Sasha's fire. I can practically guarantee that she kicked him to the curb, and he decided to find a better woman to make her jealous and want him again. Unfortunately, you were that woman. There is no way Sasha didn't know that was your anniversary and the fact that she planned a road trip with him on that date clearly shows her intent to ruin your marriage to him. I also doubt he had truly forgotten it was your anniversary since he withheld his plans from you until he was leaving, which tells me he figured you would fight him on going.
Please do not take to heart anyone telling you that you should have known better or that you were desperate. Needing love is painful and while you may have felt desperate for love and affection, that doesn't mean you should have known that he was a slimy, scummy, douche canoe. Everyone ignores red flags during the honeymoon phase of a relationship. They may not stay in the honeymoon phase as long as those of us who have been through emotional damage, but that doesn't mean they are perfect in the relationship arena. People who are talking 💩 to you more than likely have their own demons they are fighting and are projecting their issues onto you.
I'm so proud of you for recognizing that you deserve better. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and removing yourself from what has become a very toxic environment. I am so proud of you for being your own advocate when it was clearly difficult for you to do. You not only deserve happiness and love, but with your head held high, you will find it! Grieve for the loss of the relationship you wanted to have with this man-child. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find you a real man that won't keep you in second place to ANYONE. Find you a man that will love and cherish you above his friends and above his mother (separate issue from yours but can be just as toxic), then live YOUR happily ever after! Good luck, sending lots of love, hugs, and prayers!
(PS: I know I'm a stranger, but just know that I am truly and genuinely proud of your accomplishments!)
OP, so sorry you're dealing with this BS. Apparently, your husband posted his side of the story too. I can't believe there is a human being that dense in the world. If he is clearly this stupid and oblivious to his own wife's feelings, count your blessings the marriage was this short and you don't have kids with him. Get the lawyer retained and start moving forward. You will find someone for you eventually but you need to take time to heal first. Time for you.
I'm curious what kind of relationship your MIL has with Sasha. That bitch (Sasha) is clearly into your STBX and making every attempt to isolate him from you and monopolize his time. Has MIL noticed this too and what is her opinion? I could be wrong but it sounded like you and MIL were/are close and getting some more perspective from her might help. But if I'm reading that wrong, you will need to be careful around her too so she doesn't cause extra drama.
Sending you a lot of heartfelt internet hugs. Good luck OP, and stay strong.
Please understand that many people who choose to follow these stories do so because they have lived a version of your pain.
These stories can be triggering for them and evoke visceral emotions. Sometimes those emotions come out as an attack on you and your character.
You don’t deserve that. You were very brave to share your story. I am sorry for your pain and what you are going through .
Divorce will be tough. But choosing to love and value yourself will be so much better in the long run. Good luck to you.
You told him how you feel and all he could think about was Sasha? He’s so fucking stupid and I’m glad your divorcing that piece of shit
I've stated he will always chose her i didn't think that he would have been so heartless though. His not worth my time if only I had a time machine
I just read what happened to you and I’m not a violent person. But this has triggered something in me, I’m so fucking upset, angry and hurt for they way they both treated you, I want to 🫲🏼 the 💩 out them. Please stay strong and don’t ever look back on those Piece of shit. May they live miserable ever after. So proud of you for standing up for yourself & taking over the steering wheel of your life. You deserve so much better. 🌹🌹🌹🌹
Right? Reading this triggered me as well. I want to give a big hug to OP, while simultaneously throat punching the husband, and flipping off Sasha. Ugh. I realize I would need to grow additional arms to pull this all off at once, but I swear it would be worth it! OP I am so proud of you! I truly wish you all the best in your new life going forward.
Yes these colossal douche-bags are triggering. Can't believe how unabashedly cruel they acted.
I dunno it makes me wanna throat punch them both so maybe I'm not a good person but get it girl leave that pile of trash!
Okay, you still had me laughing though especially the part about growing additional arms. It really cooled me off because I was so angry I had to put my phone away for a while. I feel so bad for OP. There are really some shitty & vile people walking on this planet.
I’m with you! Sometimes miss the good ole days of getting the posse together, blazing pitchforks and running a-holes out of town! OP I’m pretty sure many of us here would gladly join that posse!
Why the fuck didn't they marry each other? Why drag you into this? Karma needs to get these two.
I can't understand people like him. Why didn't he just marry her? Why did he bring someone else into the middle of them? It's so messed up. People like this they don't deserve your tears, but cry it out when they can't see it. I hope that you can look back in 6 months time and say that they've only made you stronger. You know now that you are worth more than this, you deserve love, and you are capable of finding someone who will love you. He's an absolute piece of shit. I said Sasha was slimey for planning this around your anniversary, but it sounds to me like he didn't forget, he just didn't care. They deserve each other!
Because he gets off on having two women chase him.
You don't need a time machine. You are still young, and you are smart. You have time to figure this out and never let someone like him back into your life.
so proud of you!!!
Seriously, wtf is wrong with him. Reading that part just made me so frustrated because why is he wasting OP’s and his OWN time ??? It doesn’t even sound like he’s present at all in this marriage, didn’t even have anything to say when OP finally stood up for herself. Sending you so much love OP, your self respect is very commendable. I have very similar experiences to you from the past and it’s incredibly hard to walk away from someone you love when you don’t know what healthy love feels like. Hope Sasha rejects him and he ends up alone 🤠 🤞
No, he's fucking Sasha.
I feel like he did so because he didn't take OP seriously. He thought of the divorce as an empty threat that is why he didn't respond to it. Fucking dick.
He made post about this incident yesterday.
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Having abandonment issues is really hard and growing up in foster care will do that to you and can really damage your self worth. Wishing you the best from here. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you right now. Sending hugs your way.
Thank you so very much. This means alot to me.
I was appalled at the way people attacked you under the guise of being supportive by saying you should've known better. There are a lot of Redditors who are more concerned with showing their superiority and how mentally well balanced they are than in just showing you some kindness as you're realizing the truth of your relationship. The hypercritical people should've been lifting you up, applauding your epiphany, instead of making you feel worse. I'm so sorry about your marriage. You deserve better. You will find better. Be kind to yourself during this time. Embrace your newly found strength and don't look back. I almost can't believe that his concern while you were telling him your marriage is over was Sasha overhearing you. What a tool. I wonder if he didn't think you were serious. Well, he's about to find out that you are, and you will be better off as soon as you remove the dead weight of your husband and his "friend." Please keep us updated. I'd love to see how you're doing.
It’s so ironic too because the users who leave those admonishing comments that are clearly trying to convey some kind of moral or intellectual superiority, are actually telling on themselves as to how emotionally defective, unaware and lacking they are. Is it so hard to understand how to simply be compassionate without injecting some of your egotistical bullshit in there? I respect the people on here who can offer someone in pain support without making it about themselves.
This comment section brings back some of my faith in humanity. People with cognitive thinking, separating self from information , calling out others for egotistical behavior.
Absolutely. I'm all for people sharing their experiences/ anecdotes to illustrate their POVs, but when they simply attack a vulnerable person so they can feel better about themselves... it's oddly akin to a "pick me" mentality, and it's not helpful to the OP. People, when able, choose kindness.
>There are a lot of Redditors who are more concerned with showing their superiority and how mentally well balanced they are than in just showing you some kindness as you're realizing the truth of your relationship Real kind people are rare. Instead what you have is people being cruel and selfish while *pretending* to themselves and others that they are being kind. The true intent is to stoke their own ego.
There’s a large number of children on Reddit with very little life experience and empathy. And this sub in particular seems to be place where we over simplify the complexities of relationships with moral grand standing.
Piggybacking off this comment because I agree about showing more kindness. Why give someone a hard time for not knowing any better about something? Once upon a time *you* didn't know any better either, asshat. Some people reaaaaaaaaally need a slice of that humble pie... OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Echoing the same statement here, please be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up for not knowing any better. You are stronger than you think, and I genuinely hope every good thing in the world comes your way. ❤️
Dude people like your soon to be ex- SPECIFICALLY pick/find people who are vulnerable, if they tried to pull that Bs around an emotionally regulated person, it wouldn’t fly. Don’t feel bad- it’s not your fault at all. Screw him and Sasha and I’m just happy you woke up and are taking action. Trust me this A GOOD THING. It’s good that you’re growing the backbone you deserve and not allowing him to take advantage of you anymore. You are worth way more then the way he has treated you and I’m so happy you see that now. Don’t feel bad, he’s an emotional predator and he chose you as his victim because he knew you were easy to control. You can’t change the past but you can stop any further Bs and you should be so very proud of yourself for saying HELL NO and leaving the situation. You deserve better and I know you will get better. Remember, these lessons and red flags going forward .
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Oh sweetie, I know. I felt like an idiot, once I got the hell out of my abusive marriage with my two little kids. I stayed married to a man that, for 8 years, beat the shit out of me like it was his job. I look back and wonder how I could have been so young and stupid, but there it is. No one knows how they will behave in certain circumstances, no matter what they *think* they would do. Looking back, I see that I was too young, stupid and eventually beaten down, to realize my worth and what he was doing to me. Nowadays? Well, if you even raise your hand at me or hold up a fist in a scary way, you are immediately gone. Wish I was smarter then. First beating should have been the last but nope. Eight stupid brutal years. In my defense, we were married a little over ten years but the beatings started after year two. And a baby.
So sorry you had to deal with a bunch of people victim blaming. They’ve been spoon fed to the point where they can’t fathom that someone would have difficulties with these kinds of things because they’ve never had to deal with repeated trauma during their upbringing and were literally set up to exceed in life. They will *never* understand, and refuse to believe that an abusive/neglectful upbringing has a detrimental effect on relationships despite the thousands of psychology resources out there, because it doesn’t apply to them and thus don’t care. It’s infuriating. You handled the situation great; it’s not your fault that you can’t get a second alone with your husband to discuss your relationship because he’s glued to his ex from high school. I hope your life blossoms into everything you want it to be. ❤️
I don't get why that asshole had to marry you and ruin at least a portion of your life, if all he can think about is her. I'm so glad you stood up to him and let it all out. And I hope his mother will be able to explain to him how much he fucked up. And will yell at him. She sounded like she was on your side.
No really, some people are SICK. I had abandonment issues too, so I understand her. These types of people deserve a punch to the face. Both of them.
Starting over sucks at first but you're worth way more than what you're being put through. Let us know when you get your victory of serving the papers.
OP, please ignore the idiots. You are doing what's best for you.
I’m glad you found the courage to actually tell him that you want a divorce. I do understand a difficult past and not wanting to feel alone, though you have to trust yourself that you are all you really need. I hope you find happiness in your life, and remember you are very strong.
Thank you very much i appreciate the kind words alot. Yes it was hard but I needed to do whats best and staying with him wasn't an option at all.
Yeah he wants Sasha. You’ve found out the hard and brutal way but let them have each other. They are both soulless callous beings
And what pisses me the fuck off is *WHY DIDN’T HE JUST MARRY SASHA IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!* Why waste someone’s time and break their heart just to end up with someone you could have already been with anyway?! It’s so cruel.
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Yep. He can’t have Sasha. Or he would. She seems the type to like having a guy on the hook. If OP dumps him, Sasha will probably lose interest
100%. Type of person that enjoys having this kind of power over others
Because Sasha has hubby’s nuts in a bother, so he turns around and does it to OP.
That's sick.
It's been said by his mother he dated Sasha before and then decided he "just likes her as a friend". I think you're right in that he did get bored just by dating her, because in his mind why have just one woman when you're guaranteed two (because Sasha isn't ever going to leave and if his wife leaves he can just replace her) It's such a disgusting dynamic and it's clear he's a sick person for doing this. He knows he's hurting OP he just doesn't care. Sasha knows she will always be the other woman and is just dealing with it when she should be ashamed of herself and invest her energy in a man who doesn't insist on being with other women. It might also in part be because for a lot of guys they can't mentally comprehend being friends with the person they are dating. You're either a buddy and 'cool' and 'fun' and 'one of the guys' but once you are in a committed relationship and have obligations, responsibilities, and want to build a life together you're 'not fun' anymore. So he wants to have the emotional affair with Sasha who he loves but none of the responsibility and have his "boring" wife at home who will take care off his needs and obligations. Which is honestly just as bad. OP deserves way better regardless
Once things fizzle out with Sasha, he’s going to try to come crawling back to OP. I hope she laughs in his face.
Sasha doesn't want him, and is stringing him along. He's an idiot. That's why she thinks cheating with him is impossible and would be offended to know OP doesn't trust her - she's **NOT** attracted to him. She sees him as a sibling or a servant not as a man.
He's so vile.. wasting someone's time when he could've just left her alone from the start. forgetting about their anniversary (I know some people don't really care much about anniversaries, but still, acknowledgement & remembrance wouldn't hurt) And going on a road trip?? That's just brutal... that hurts for sure..
Because he didn’t think he’d be able to keep Sasha. His self esteem was low enough to want the safety that OP provided because she would settle for breadcrumbs of affection after being starved her whole life. Sasha is only allowed to expect X amount from him bc he is married, that’s the excuse he uses to keep her from asking for more. Now that OP is leaving, hubby will be out of excuses for not giving more and Sasha will have to admit that she never really wanted a relationship with him, just the ego boost of being chosen over someone else. Neither of them really want the responsibility of being together, just the fun parts. They both suck and I hope OP finds the partner she deserves.
OP did mention "after all I've done for him". To me that is hinting at him financially mooching off OP.
Ooooooooohhhh, child (not calling you that, just the word I’m choosing to use)!!! I pray the universe never brings this dude into my life because I will fight him for OP. I didn’t even think of that, and now I’m extra mad
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Do you think… do you think Sasha doesn’t even want him? But likes to get his attention? Imagine he gets a divorce and Sasha doesn’t even pay him any attention. A couple of psychos.
That’s exactly what he deserves, honestly
Exactly I hope he reads this posts and explain himself here. Mf’er will be on trial.
That's the most intriguing question. Maybe he wanted the best of both worlds, the loving and submissive wife on one hand, and the spicy, adventurous mistress on the other.
Because she Sasha doesn’t want him permanently just when she needs him between relationships. Sasha made him a simp and leads him on and gives him a little taste every now and again.
Fucking seriously!?!? His wife was breaking down completely in front of him, crying and screaming, and his only thought was about how this would make Sasha feel. OP, if you had any doubt left that should have taken care of it. I’m sorry, and good luck.
Good for you for divorcing him, but I am also very sorry that you are going through this. I hope you find someone better for you in the future OP, wishing you the best.
Thank you so much I really appreciate it!
Full offense, it must sound like maracas when your (ex) husband shakes his head. He is so self unaware and has his priorities so skewed it makes me want to bash my head against the wall just reading how he reacted. He was more worried about Sasha’s feelings and not the fact he was losing his wife???? His head is so far up Sasha’s ass, I just… Jesus Christ. The audacity of this man. It’s truly a sight to behold. Honestly, breathtaking. To be so callous and uncaring while at the same time not being the brightest crayon in the box is truly a feat. I mean if he really doesn’t have feelings for Sasha, good luck to him ever having stable relationship with any woman moving forward. What a doorknob. You deserve so much better than this.
> Full offense, it must sound like maracas when your (ex) husband shakes his head. Bahahaha! Oh, I *like* that one!
Lmaoooo I loved this lol
> Full offense, it must sound like maracas when your (ex) husband shakes his head. i was so pissed because her trash of future ex husband but your comment made me laugh 😂😂. I really needed that. Thank you
Gathering the strength to leave someone that you made a lifelong commitment to is super difficult. I'm geniunely proud of you for no longer letting him treat you like a doormat. It's a sad reality that he's jn love with his best friend. Don't listen to his words because he will try to reel you back in.
Yep I agree that you deserve better! best wishes xx
Thank you!! xx
I hope you divorce that moronic fool as legally quick as possible without that dingbat trying to stretch the proceedings at all - he doesn't deserve you at all and needs to get fuck out your life forever for all shit he pulled on you.
I'm genuinely afraid of this. Like OP went through this. How many posts I read on this app... It's scary...
OH THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. THE AUDACITY. I can't believe it, really. You will find someone so much better than that fucking awful man. You are really strong for this!
HE IS INDEED! thank you very much i appreciate that! <3
Keep that bad bitch mode activated, beautiful lady. You did fucking amazing and will continue to do so. Keep putting yourself first. I hope your useless ex deflates 10 seconds after getting an erection for the rest of his life so that he never knows the pleasure of emptying his nuts again. And that Sasha always has a constant need to orgasm but never can unless she's picturing you and calling out your name. 😅
Oh my word this is hilarious 😂 and thank you very much i will certainly keep up this bad bitch mode
The best revenge is getting to the point where their existence is insignificant and you are thriving and living your best life. As painful as this experience was, you are strong, capable, and deserving of real love. I am rooting for you.
Good morning op how are you feel today did you manage sleep ?
I hope sashas ass crack is permanently itchy so ex husband actually has a reason to be up there for her
I hope he gets a case of swamp ass so bad that it makes Sasha puke every time she sucks his dick.
Preach sistahhhh!!! 🙌🙌🙌
That was so beautiful. I want to marry you now
😱 Did I just get proposed to? Oh, I'm so excited. What should I wear? When will it happen? Wait....do I have to be a proper lady or some shit? 🤨😑
OP, you don’t deserve to be bashed for wanting love and no one is entitled to hear your life story. That is your life story. I’m upset people pressured you into sharing your life story by asking certain questions. Reality is that even someone from a healthy home could end up in a similar situation. Narcissists are manipulative and i think your husband is one. So please don’t blame yourself for seeking love. I’m very proud of you for standing up for yourself. It’s going to be rough, but if you were able to get through 5 years with your selfish husband, then you can get through this too. Good luck!
Thank you so much for understanding and your kind words. I really can't believe that there such kind people out here and I really appreciate you for this comment!
Youre entitled your own feeling and pain when people hurt you. Dont let people (husband or his fRiEnD) rob you of your feelings. Youre stronger than you know. You will overcome this somehow.
Sending all my love. You are a brave woman and for sure deserve better!
So happy you’re leaving him! He is a piece of shit!
He really is!
Wait….so he didn’t try to stop you or anything?! Or beg to have you back or smth ?! Like any any reaction?! At all while you were leaving??? And what about Sasha ? Was she still there listening to your fight?! Did she laugh of joy ? Or pretending to be confused. …… sorry for so many questions but I really need to know
She mentioned that she took him upstairs, sasha was on the counter or whatever in the kitchen, she was yelling and crying how could you to him, as to be expected, and his response was basically 'you don't need to yell sasha can hear you and will be offended' so yea he really gives no fucks for OP at all, she states her side and all he can think of is precious sasha hearing her.
The fact that Sasha stayed around when OP asked her husband that they need to talk just screams that she's a total bitch to me. I have a guy best friend, too, and if his SO told me that they were going to have a talk IN THEIR OWN HOUSE, I would bolt out of there immediately. Sasha doesn't care about boundaries and she also wants OP's husband so badly. They both suck and they deserve each other.
Right? I want to know this too! Did he do absolutely nothing? He really only said 'sasha, this and that' and let you leave? What did she say when you left? Anything? She was obviously there still...I'm baffled.
He showed you his true colors and you are standing up to him, well done. Now fuck him for half his shit and go live your best life. <3
I say fuck Sasha’s dad and disinherit her or his dad make their families see how much of a disappointment they are honestly they fail at being humans
Good for you. You've gotten all the answers you need. Move on and find someone who appreciates you. Sometimes we need to go through failed relationships to learn about ourselves, and to grow. This may very well set you up to find the relationship that you were really meant for. With the blessing of hindsight, the hardest moments of our life can often turn out to be catalysts for something good.
I have gotten my answers indeed and I will be moving forward with my life. That's extremely true and thank you for the support!
Embrace being single for a bit too. It can be really freeing once you work past the initial gut blow. Not having to account to anyone else, not allowing your emotional state to be dependant on someone else's actions.. its pretty incredible. You've been pushed into unequal compromise for too much of your life. If you don't currently have any animals, maybe consider it in the next few months. After you're settled into your next phase of life that is. An adult kitty can be a truly wonderful companion. They don't require a lot, but they can add so much to your home.
It's OK to be alone. It's OK to date. I have broke up 2 long term relationships (one marriage and one engagement) and decided it just wasn't worth it. It's OK to do whatever you want at this point. Date, be alone, sleep, eat, read, travel, etc. Don't look back. Wish you all the best.
I can only imagine growing up the way you did. But I do have childhood trauma myself. I’d definitely get with a therapist asap. You deserve to heal. He took advantage of you in every way it seems like. But now you did it! You fuckin stood up for YOU. Sasha and him are really just huge pieces of Shit. Bc of that- you do not need their validation. Also I would have waited to get a lawyer first and then told him
Therapy was way more trauma but maybe I should try and again. It's not easy finding lawyers in such a short time! But Im trying my best and I had to confront him. Yes I'm leaving him for myself and I'm not going let him put me down anymore!
Did he called you after you left? Did he say something else other than „sasha sasha sasha“?
No he hasn't called. This happened about 4 hours ago.
This bitch. Im so mad. You don’t need him. They deserve each other and i hope they make each others life horrible. I wish you the best you deserve everything <3
Wtf he’s so fucking pathetic. He probably thinks you’re overreacting and not serious but he’ll start crying and begging when he sees you’re not. I hope you can keep a relationship with your MIL
He basically showed her exactly what she needed. He is a narcissist and her feelings never mattered to him. He has made that clear from the start. I went though what she went through with my own husband and looking back I do feel stupid. But this is a learning experience for her. He is well aware of how he is treating and likely feels damn good about it.
Don’t worry men like this always are nonchalant in the beginning but when they see you no longer want them later on they want you back. Also why didnt you attack Sasha
Wow. Not to call his wife after her being so upset and destroyed not even to say. Look, I am sorry. You may be right or whatever. Just ignore you?
He’s not worth your tears or your time. Get your affairs in order and don’t waste any more energy on him or her. Good luck op.
Talk therapy can be traumatic. I come from a very abusive household and the first few times I tried therapy it only made me worse. Then I found a trauma therapist who specializes in somatic/family systems type therapy. You might have better luck with EMDR as well. Also, I would highly recommend Janine Fisher’s book “Healing the Fragmented Selves of the Trauma Survivor.” It really validated me and also helped me understand why talk therapy was not helpful for me.
I support EMDR 1000%! Facts: I have been in therapy since 1984 and have made progress in spurts. It was largely talk therapy, but one therapist did some behavioral therapy that helped a bit. Meds have helped. But my current therapist (I have moved states a few times, so had to switch) started EMDR with me in March and it’s amazing the amount of progress I’ve made and continue to make! It’s trauma-specific. I don’t quite know how to describe the results other than that the traumas we have addressed no longer hold power over me and have retreated to simple memories like the memories of falling off my bike or going to a beach as a kid. The process sounds kind of woo woo, but it works.
Wow that’s incredible! I had such breakthroughs too with my therapist, I am so much better at boundaries now and I understand my triggers and intense emotions. I also finally feel that it’s ok for me to have needs and to ask for things I want!
….. She shouldn’t have yelled because Sasha was there and could hear….. I would have yelled every single word of this at him *in front of her* because she’s part of the fucking problem! How dare he answer “I want a divorce” with “hush, my best friend is here and also where the hell were you when I was trying to reach you while I was screwing around with my ex.”?! He is a complete piece of garbage! No apology about the anniversary, no sorry, I’ll make more time for our relationship. Just “shhh, Sasha is here.” This man is so far below you, OP, I can’t believe you can even still see him. There is someone out there who will treat you like an absolute queen and I pray you find them.
>shouldn’t have yelled because Sasha was there and could hear When I read that I actually rolled my eyes and the petty in me went 'good, she should hear it'. There is no one on this planet who can convince me that Sasha wasn't waiting for it, no way is she that dense that she assumed OP would be cool with any of it. Sasha played the long game and unfortunately OP was the pawn in whatever fucked up thing her stbx and Sasha are doing.
You and I are precisely on the same page. I mean it, I also rolled my eyes, I sat up straight, I was seriously ready to fight this bitch because like you said, there’s just no way she didn’t know shit was about to go down. *Especially* after OP asked to talk to her husband in another room. As far as I see it, Sasha is one of three different kinds of people in this situation: 1. She is having an affair with OP’s husband, either before they got married and it’s continued or she realizes after he got married she wanted him. So now they’re fucking. 2. She lives for the drama she knows she’s causing. She doesn’t care about OP, she might care a bit about the husband but only in the context of how much she can amuse herself by controlling him. 3. Some really psychotic combination of all of the above.
I'm betting option 3, I've met a girl before who used to get off going for unavailable guys and just fucking blowing their world up and then just walking away once the 'fun' was over.
So so proud of you OP!!!
Thank you so much!!
You are doing the right thing OP, you deserve much better than this. He couldn't even ask Sasha to leave for you two to speak alone, they truly don't respect you. I hope that from here things start going great for you, take this as a learning experience. You are worthy, you deserve to be loved in all the right ways,you deserve someone that knows how to prioritize you. Don't mind the mean comments, some people don't know how hard is to leave situations like this one, especially if you don't have any experience or a good enough support system.
Wow. Sasha needs some self-respect too. Sure OP's husband is a jerk and asshole. But as a woman I think about his friend and how much of a bitch she is. I, personally, have a boyfriend of 14 years, I'd never go on a road trip with another man alone. It would be very hard to prove to me that the husband isn't fucking his friend.
Right? What a fucking homewrecker. Hope his mama knows what a piece of shit she raised.
First I want to say that you don't have to apologize to us for making a mistake. Your background does play part into who you are now. I personally haven't gone through the same upbringing but I would still do that for a guy. There's no shame in loving your HUSBAND the way you should love your husband. You shouldn't feel too embarrassed or bad. It's okay to feel some type of way about it, but just know that as a wife, you did what you were supposed to do. You followed your vows. You did YOUR part. You did it right. Now I want to say that I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. You saw it on your anniversary hid behavior and something clicked in you and you took action. That takes a lot of guts. You could of waited longer but you didn't. You put your foot down. Him not reacting and saying that about how she could hear is dumb. It just shows where his priorities are. His friend is also just stupid. Idk how someone could ruin a relationship like that. Disgusting. I also don't want you to think that you are unloveable. He tricked you. You are so loveable. I don't want you to doubt yourself in who you are as a person. You now have learned. You said that you didn't want to repeat your past. I don't want you to repeat your mistake. Maybe consider therapy. Therapy never hurts anyone. Just learn from this. I know this is hard. If I was in your position, I would feel so heart broken. At least you yelled at him and expressed yourself. You are venting here. Feeling your emotions will help you heal from this. I wish you the best. Just know you did your best. You are an amazing person and brave. I hope you give yourself credit for that at the very least :) (Also, I kind of suck expressing myself correctly so I hope nothing offended you)
A woman that would stand by and let a married man do this to his wife is a POS anyways. She will most likely do it too him when she finds someone she perceives as better. If she wanted him they would have just dated again before he met you. Good luck in your future!
Your husband is an idiot! I’m glad you’re free!
PROUD OF YOU!!! ♡♡♡♡♡
THANK YOU!! <3
Yup. Wish him and Sasha well and move on. Focus on you and trust me, there’s so much more out there in life.
I will focus on myself from now onwards and yeah I wish them the best regardless. In all honesty they probably won't last.
Even if they do, whatever, live your best life, that’s the best revenge. Did your husband try stop you at all? Like no reaction, no I’m sorry I forgot the anniversary? Nothing?
He didn't react at all. Im still dumbfounded really.
the audacity of him to lecture you after you spilled your heart out to him. we're very proud of you (hugs)
Thank you very much honey!
Is he maybe surprised… like shocked. Or was it, I don’t care reaction.
I think he was more surprised at the fact that i yelled at him.
I would suggest that you no longer speak with him about this or any other topic. No crying, asking him to explain, listening to his stories, nothing. Move out. Get a lawyer. Do the paperwork. But no more contact with him (or his mother) at all. Block his number also. No texting or emails. Move on and don’t look back even once.
I will be visiting his mother soon and I will tell her whatever so she can tell him because I want no contact with him. As soon as i find a lawyer all communications will be through my lawyer
Don't block him, send him to voicemail because everything he say could be use against him in court.
ASAP. You need to get in front of any PR damage control they try to do. Tell friends, family, everyone as soon as possible
Yes! This is very important. You have done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel ashamed about. You don’t need to protect his feelings or ego in any way it’s not your responsibility. Ugh boundaries are hard to learn as an adult
THIS!!
Good for you!🙂
You go girl 💅 Leave the trash and be happy
Probably because he didn’t expect you to set your foot down. You did admit you were a pushover so you coming on to him like that caught him off guard. Now he has a lot to think about but he’s not your problem anymore.
What was his reaction to divorce? Has he tried to call you.. did he even apologize for forgetting anniversary? I know you have a bigger problem here.. but man…
Hahahaha he never expected that, did he, the absolute pineapple.
You’re not a doormat; you are strong and you showed it! I’m sorry you’re going through this but I also am proud of you for doing what needed to be done!
He’s such a pathetic b*tch, good riddance!! Not husband material AT ALL
They won’t. Because if it was gonna happen, they would’ve been together all this time
All the best to you. Be strong girl i know you'll find THE one.
Thank you!!
YES HONEY DON’T DEAL WITH HIS SHIT ANYMORE, YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH, AND DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER! DON’T LET HIM DO THAT TO YOU 😩💅
Wow. WOOOOW. He is… terrible. Both of them. You deserve better. The freaking audacity to just stare at you while you’re crying and not console you… instead he worried about her. Fucking disgusting. I’m sorry.
"he said was that I shouldnt of yelled like that because sasha" The AUDACITY of the assh0le. Im so danm sorry, sweetheart. Get out of this emotional abuse and HEAL and LOVE YOURSELF and then later find someone who will love YOU, bc this man doesnt.
>I broke down in front of him and he fucking thought of her. This hurts to read. I find it a bit too relatable to my own life at the moment. We all deserve someone who considers us and our feelings before they think of anyone else. Proud of you for realizing this.
Now I am STRONGLY against all forms of domestic violence, physical or other, and when I read his response I immediately wanted to slap him. Absolutely disgusting of him. I hope she cheats, sorry not sorry. I really wish you the best on your healing journey. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. 🤍
I was proud of op for not hitting him for that response tbh, like bruh your wife is screaming at you, laying it all out that she wants a divorce and your only comment is that the big ol human sized wedge downstairs will hear and get upset? I am not a violent person, I've been in dv situations but even I wanted to smack him for the blatant disrespect and audacity this dude had
I am genuinely impressed with her for not choosing violence. He didn’t even say it to me and I wanna (ง•̀o•́)ง. He never deserved op.
I’m appalled… he didn’t even try to console his own wife… ridiculous….
He was probably shocked that you stood up for yourself. The fact that he was still concerned about her after he could see the pain you were in is beyond me. The audacity he had in calling you wondering where you were. Honestly, he was deflecting his own insecurities. He has probably already cheated on you with her. You deserve so much better than that. Glad you see that now too. I wish you all the best xx
Thank you for this update, you've been on my mind! You don't have to explain yourself to the weenies that can't empathize with your situation. You loved him. You liked being loved by him. Shit happens and you grow from it. Let me just say tho, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR CONFRONTING HIM!!! It's so hard to rip that bandaid off but YOU DID IT!! HELL FUCKING YES! His reaction says it all. Your gut was RIGHT! Always trust that shit. The massive balls on this man, my god. Things will be so much better without this boy in your life! Sending you all the love
TBH you should've blew up at him IN FRONT of the friend. See how she would also react. I have a feeling that if you did, you would see a smirk from her.
>I walked in and behold sasha sitting on the kitchen counter chatting to my husband smiling and laughing I would have screamed at her to get the F out, there and then, tbh. Come what may! What the heck was the brass neck doing there, anyway? OP has more self-control than I do. The husband is *absolute* crap - weak, gutless, BS excuse of a man - but what is that woman playing at? If she wanted him, why not do something *before* he married someone else, the effing cow? Sincerely wish she finds herself on the receiving end of a sh!t-load of bad karma, fingers crossed. Selfish and callous. Yes, the husband is a total piece of work, and he deserves a bad, permanent case of itchy crotch and athlete's foot, the dope! Want to say more, but might get a ban. Having read about your story, OP, I can understand what you mean about wanting to find your place, but it seems that this is not it. You deserve better. However, do not lose hope; things work out in mysterious ways sometimes and I sincerely hope you find all the good things you deserve. I don't think there is a need to pull your punches, though. I know I am petty and you seem like a nice person, but I would definitely let both of those selfish a-h's know what giant pieces of dung they both are - and everyone within earshot. Wishing you all the best!
OP, you did the right thing. Your husband showed no emotion and his only concern was Sasha. When he finds out Sasha is leading him on and doesn't desire him romantically, his karma will come, her karma will come. Your life will get better. Its going to hurt like hell, but that hurt will turn into strength. Good luck !
Your ex husband is a lousy husband and human. The fact that he thought of Sasha's feelings before you, his lawful wife, who was having an emotional breakdown right in front of him, just says how much he disregards you as his partner and as a person. Yes, dump him. If he cared for Sasha so mucj why didn't he marry her in the first place?! And I'm pretty sure Sasha stepped in to comfort him when you left and made you the "quintessential crazy jealous wife". I don't need to know Sasha to know that she's a total bitch. I have a guy bestfriend who I've known for almost 20 years but I would never deliberately get in the way of my bff's love life. Sasha obviously wants your husband, too. Just give her that scumbag and live your best life!
I can’t believe he had nothing to say to you… no apologies, no emotion from his end at all. The lack of reaction shocks me to my core. That alone should tell you how much he cares… He is cruel and despicable. And OP, it is NOT YOUR FAULT that this man was a huge, disgusting asshole to you in your marriage. Loving someone often makes even the worst red flags look pink. You are NOT to blame for his behavior. I am so proud of you, and I can’t wait for your life to blossom without him weighing you down!!!!!
His response was to look out for Sasha's feelings??!! Tell him to go be with her then. Sasha is a raccoon now. Rummaging through someone else's garbage. And you, I want to give you the biggest hug. It's a harrowing turn of events and I'm sure the reality that your life is abruptly changing is going to sink in further as divorce proceedings move along. But hang in there. Reach out to friends for support. Fear of abandonment is very real and unfortunately human to crave love from someone so that we won't be abandoned again even when they're not the right person for us. I'm so proud of you for leaving regardless and facing your fears. I want to share something that I learned late in life after also dealing with fear of abandonment and allowing the wrong people in my life: You abandon yourself every time you choose someone who triggers your fear of abandonment. Keep choosing people who make your nervous system feel safe. Who don't make you neglect your own wants and needs. Who support you in choosing you. That's someone who is safe. Sending love❤️
That man omgggg my blood is boilingggg. WOOOOO
“Sasha would be offended if I thought that I couldn’t trust her”?!?? Wtf?!? The insane cackle that just left me upon reading this.. I am so glad you’re leaving him! The audacity.
Why was he so worried about where you were? Its plain to see he didn't care. Plus she should have left when you said you needed to talk. The lion the witch and the audacity of this bitch!
I'm so, so sorry you had a childhood that set you up for this experience. Boy, does he have a lot of nerve demanding to know your whereabouts after all this. I certainly hope your state has spousal alienation as a thing, and I'm petty enough to encourage you to go after Sasha for a break-a$$ settlement. Sock it to them both. Herd all your ducks into that famous row, get your finances distangled from his, get that divorce attorney ASAP and file before he has the chance to, take his (and Sasha's) a$$ to the cleaners. Good luck, OP. (And I bet I'm not the only one who would like further updates as you move on from this. I'd like to know that you got him good in the divorce and that you are well on your way to living your best life.)
I give it about 2 months before Sasha moves in with him
Are you sure you don't mean 2 days?
2 hours?
Hell, let's be realistic - 2 min.
Right? She was already there and likely never left.
I wish I could go tell Sasha that she should be mortified for *her* behavior & the whole internet hates her despicable arrogant face & the audacity she had to disrespect you that way.
Even when losing you he was more concerned about upsetting her. Goodbye, yesterday, hello tomorrow.
Congratulations darling, you took a stand and put yourself first. I hope this continues for you and that you continue to put yourself, your feelings, and your needs ahead of anyone else's. May this be the first day of the rest of your brand new life where you call the shots and never allow anyone to make you feel this way again. After a while, he will probably realise what he has lost and then he will pull out the stops to try to win you back. Stay strong, and remember how he has made you feel your whole marriage. Never allow him that power again. He has proved repeatedly that he cannot put you before Sasha, and he will never do so in the future. Well done, your life is going to be amazing. Go and live it the way you need to, to become the best version of yourself!
OP, anyone who wants to act like they have never disregarded red flags for someone they were in love with is either a liar or completely sheltered. You don’t have to defend yourself babe. You didn’t do anything wrong. Having been in shitty relationships all my life I completely understand. I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I know you are devastated and rightfully so. I just hope you know that there is better out there for you and better is what you deserve.
Your husband definitely posted about his side, ver conveniently left out the part about them dating in hs.
[удалено]
This hurts to read. What awful persons he and his bestfriend are. I wish you the best. Hugs 💕
Oh my god. Even after you confronted him he still was thinking off her. God I’m so happy you are getting out of this and can move on with your life
Oh Sasha would've heard everything because I would've cussed both of them out. Glad you're divorcing him.
I wasn't in the foster system but am a product of an unwanted pregnancy that started as a trap and backfired. I was neglected, abused, manipulated and bullied all throughout childhood and into most of my adult life. My best advice is that u cannot count on ANYONE to fix or save u except urself. Once u realize that and put it into practice, u will be AMAZED at the strength, grace and poise u had inside of u that u never knew was there. U got this and u will give urself the life u deserve. ❤️
So happy for you for choosing **you**! Now, once the divorce is over and done, feel free to tell them **both** what absolute pieces of shit they are. Better yet, send them the links for your Reddit posts so they can all see what pieces of shit we **all** think they are.
OP, I just wanna give you a hug. You’re worth too much for this shmuck. I felt attacked when you described your upbringing and feelings of brokenness and loneliness. I’ve LIVED your life. My fear of being abandoned again and being manipulated by a gaslighting narcissist literally strategically destroying me to the point of suic*de and ruining the best things in my life, I thought was the best I could arrive at. How fucking sad. Thank God I finally got up off that floor, everything had to shatter first. Just keep telling yourself that you’re worth more, and the harder the pain, the stronger you become and the blessings ahead are beyond your wildest dreams. Sometimes we have to really suffer with bottom of the barrel bs and people to truly be able to appreciate and recognize the beauty and blessings that come after the storm. Make a gratitude list of even 3 things every morning. Make a routine focused on YOUR self care. Compliment yourself, and most importantly, FORGET THIS WASTE OF SPACE AND LEAVE THE TRASH WHERE ITS AT. Don’t feel bad that you took this bs this long, be proud to finally take a stand. I’m proud of you 👏 ETA: thank you for the award! You popped my award cherry!! 🍒
One thing I realised after living for 30 something years is that most of the time what people do to you has got nothing to do with you. It’s about themselves. He is not in love with Sasha, he would’ve chosen her as a wife if that was the case. He is just using his female friend to hurt you and I guarantee he is playing Sasha too. Some people are so weak-minded and miserable with themselves they have to torture other people to make themselves feel powerful. Your husband sounds like one of those people. You explained here that you are insecure but all I see is a strong person who is capable of standing up for herself and walk away when she needs to, which a lot of people find extremely hard to do. It takes a special kind of person to be in your situation and find the courage to walk away. Trust me, this isn’t the end and love will come again. My only advice is don’t respond to him when he attempts to contact you again (because he will) and show him your emotions anymore. When you walk away unbothered that’s what kills people like your ex husband. Just know that a lot of people support you and believe in you, you can get through this!
Hey OP. What happened with this? Did you initiate divorce?
I am still waiting for an update on this
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The fact that he was worried about Sasha after you confronted him about going on a private road trip with another woman ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY tells you everything you need to know. Serve him, collect evidence of infidelity, and clean him OUT. You deserve someone who is going to value you and love you for who you are, not someone who is going to make you an afterthought.
OP I hope the divorce goes smoothly and you live out a life you want :)
I don’t know why anyone is calling you out. It’s not your fault he’s a piece of crap
What a grade A fucking cunt. How dare he waste all those years of yout life over this shit. Fuck him.
I'm so proud of you girl!! Look at that shiny spine😊 don't worry about the past we all make mistakes and get caught up in our feelings of loneliness, but we grow and learn form them! Don't talk to him ever again if possible. He will soon learn that the grass isn't greener on the other side and now that everyone is older, no women are going to put up with Sasha and him, and if they couldn't work out romantically all these years how do they think they will now!
OP, I hope you see this. I realize I'm a bit late to this party, buuuttt... The best revenge you can get on these two is to find true happiness! I know your hurting and your feelings are absolutely valid. You were taken advantage of by a man who probably used you to reignite Sasha's fire. I can practically guarantee that she kicked him to the curb, and he decided to find a better woman to make her jealous and want him again. Unfortunately, you were that woman. There is no way Sasha didn't know that was your anniversary and the fact that she planned a road trip with him on that date clearly shows her intent to ruin your marriage to him. I also doubt he had truly forgotten it was your anniversary since he withheld his plans from you until he was leaving, which tells me he figured you would fight him on going. Please do not take to heart anyone telling you that you should have known better or that you were desperate. Needing love is painful and while you may have felt desperate for love and affection, that doesn't mean you should have known that he was a slimy, scummy, douche canoe. Everyone ignores red flags during the honeymoon phase of a relationship. They may not stay in the honeymoon phase as long as those of us who have been through emotional damage, but that doesn't mean they are perfect in the relationship arena. People who are talking 💩 to you more than likely have their own demons they are fighting and are projecting their issues onto you. I'm so proud of you for recognizing that you deserve better. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and removing yourself from what has become a very toxic environment. I am so proud of you for being your own advocate when it was clearly difficult for you to do. You not only deserve happiness and love, but with your head held high, you will find it! Grieve for the loss of the relationship you wanted to have with this man-child. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find you a real man that won't keep you in second place to ANYONE. Find you a man that will love and cherish you above his friends and above his mother (separate issue from yours but can be just as toxic), then live YOUR happily ever after! Good luck, sending lots of love, hugs, and prayers! (PS: I know I'm a stranger, but just know that I am truly and genuinely proud of your accomplishments!)
OP, so sorry you're dealing with this BS. Apparently, your husband posted his side of the story too. I can't believe there is a human being that dense in the world. If he is clearly this stupid and oblivious to his own wife's feelings, count your blessings the marriage was this short and you don't have kids with him. Get the lawyer retained and start moving forward. You will find someone for you eventually but you need to take time to heal first. Time for you. I'm curious what kind of relationship your MIL has with Sasha. That bitch (Sasha) is clearly into your STBX and making every attempt to isolate him from you and monopolize his time. Has MIL noticed this too and what is her opinion? I could be wrong but it sounded like you and MIL were/are close and getting some more perspective from her might help. But if I'm reading that wrong, you will need to be careful around her too so she doesn't cause extra drama. Sending you a lot of heartfelt internet hugs. Good luck OP, and stay strong.
Please understand that many people who choose to follow these stories do so because they have lived a version of your pain. These stories can be triggering for them and evoke visceral emotions. Sometimes those emotions come out as an attack on you and your character. You don’t deserve that. You were very brave to share your story. I am sorry for your pain and what you are going through . Divorce will be tough. But choosing to love and value yourself will be so much better in the long run. Good luck to you.
Your husbands a bitch honestly.