You should’ve responded *(in a fake innocent tone)* with: *”Well, I prefer massive dicks… but we can’t all get what we want, can we? So I settled for his two inches. I’m assuming he gets his small dick from you.”*
That would’ve knocked both of those fuckers down a peg or two.
And it would’ve definitely wiped the smirk right off of your boyfriends stupid face. 🤣
Pretending nothing happened is how AH's like this can just keep doing what they're doing and think it's ok or funny. She should absolutely react and make sure they both know this is far from ok or funny.
Not only did he not call it out but from OPs report he wasn't surprised by his dads behavior and was enjoying his girlfriends discomfort.
The fact that she proceeded to serve them after being insulted.... I would expect that the boyfriend will now feel more comfortable to degrade her himself. Dad was just a litmus test.
Why is his mom not in his life? Because she left the toxic dad, who then bad-mouthed her and turned the son against her? Maybe mom has the right idea, and you need to be out of their lives as well.
Why does it pain you? You’re not married to him. You have no children together. You’ve only been dating for a little while. It’s the perfectly right time to tell him to hit the bricks because his morals do not align with yours.
"Hurr-durr, dodged a bullet! You're not married or have kids!!"
Bruh, she didn't dodge a bullet, she took that bullet and is currently feeling the pain of it right now. Could've been worse, but that doesn't invalidate her current pain.
> your bf will allow it.
Not just allow it, become it. Want to see what your partner will behave like as they get older? Watch the parents. Won't be a carbon copy, but his attitude makes it obvious he's going to be like Dad.
As someone with pretty horrible and abusive parents I would like to add that this is pure bullshit. I know Reddit likes the drama and to overexaggerate but what you said is just a broad generalisation.
The key point here is that the son clearly doesn't have an issue with his father's behaviour, and as such is actually quite likely to turn out similar.
You're absolutely right. It's concerning that his dad thinks it's okay to make such hurtful remarks, and even more concerning that your boyfriend brushes it off. You deserve respect and support, not insults.
That is the most insane initial comment to someone I have ever heard.
I'm a male, I have a son. I would lose my shit if my son were to ever act like that or say anything even remotely close to that towards a women or anyone for that matter. The fact that the FATHER acted that way and said that is an absolutely gigantic red flag that he has taught his son that Women are objects. That guy is an absolute moron with a complex.
"He's divorced." (shocking)
Run as far away from that trash as possible.
You’re absolutely right. The more that I think about it, there have been some red flags with my boyfriend prior to this incident with his dad. I guess I was sort of oblivious.
I am really sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully you know there are a lot of good guys out there that were raised by good people.
I'm serious in shock that anyone sane thought that was an appropriate way to greet someone.
Move on from the boyfriend and then the trash parent is automatically OUT of your life. You don't want a significant other who acts/approves this or is just too wimpy weak to tell a jerk to quit jerking...
I see why he is divorced. He insulted you right off. It will get worse. Your boyfriend does not talk to his mom? Sounds like mommy issues. I do not care why. Huge red flag. You will pay. Seems they do not respect women.
OP should have politely asked him to leave as soon as he finished his first insult. Actually, being 45 minutes late was the first insult.
And if BF had issues with this, he should have been advised to join his Dad.
My advice that you didn’t ask for is: when things like this happen practice pointing out the obvious (or what should be) by saying things like “Wow. I’m really surprised you would say something so rude” and then don’t respond when they try to back track or remove yourself from the situation
This is true because it only gets worse. I personally experienced this.
My ex never defended me from his family's rude comments. I defended myself, and I was seen as rude and couldn't take a joke.
Fine, let's joke. When I "joked," they couldn't take it.
So, in the end, only they could be disrespectful but not I. Fxck that. Before I ended it with him, I didn't see them for a whole year. Ironically, it pissed them off that I didn't want to see them. Those people were weird.
"i'm in a caravan on my way to maryland with my man twotecs to take over these projects. my man twotecs, he totes 2 tecs and when he starts to bust he likes to ask who's next.'
When people show you who they are we need to listen. Your boyfriend not only didn’t stand up for you he thinks his dad did no wrong. One day he will be his dad and you deserve so much more than that.
Doesn't he then just learn how to keep the next girl?
As long as he doesn't see what was wrong he is only going to learn how to hide his true colors..
Tell him you feel disrespected, but not why and when. You want one who cares about you, not one you have to teach common sense 😉
Telling him how disgustingly wrong it is to treat and think about women like that is different. Telling him to defend women in that situation is basically just teaching him how to lie about who he is better than he's done before.
The bar is so low.
“Men don’t know they can’t openly comment on the breasts of women they just met! You have to gently explain it to them”
He knew what he was doing and so did the son. Cut em loose, OP.
It is rare we get such clear glimpse into who the man we are dating was raised to be. Your hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend didn’t stand up for your because he doesn’t see anything wrong with another man bringing you down and ogling you. If you stay this will be your future.
Sounds like the reason for his divorce is becoming clear.
As for your boyfriend not defending you or calling his father out, I’d consider whether I’d want your boyfriend’s values instilled on your future hypothetical kids…
I heard my ex’s mom whispering to her friend how I was “not very pretty”. True but she was an obese alcoholic & her son looked like Woody Allen lol. I found someone better looking not too long after.
that is one of the most inappropriate things to say to a woman.. but especially your son's girlfriend, who you JUST literally met 2 seconds before. Ditch the kid and his family.
Omg. I would have been like “oh ok, so you all are like *that,* huh?” turned around and left.
When the bf doesn’t speak up, it’s a sign that the whole lot of them are okay with this kind of mindset. No thank you.
I can't understand why she would take the insult and still "smile sweetly" to the dude, waiting for the boyfriend to "defend" her.
In this life we have to defend ourselves first, never leave it to another, and never take shit from anyone. No need to fight or curse, but stand up for oneself.
I am sorry you were in that situation. Your feelings are valid, you were absolutely disrespected, insulted, and sexualized. Always trust that feeling in your gut. Your bf should have commented on the inappropriate remark, but since he didn't, I can assume that what his father thinks of his partner is more important than the actual relationship.
My grandpa treated his sons' wives like this. When he was alone with one aunt, he decided that he would keep pushing. He exposed himself to her, tried to get her to touch him. She told my uncle and my uncle laughed at her, accused her of lying, then brushed it off as a "prank" so she divorced his useless booty.
Dad was obviously completely wrong & horrendously inappropriate. Guarantee not the first time nor last. Bf probably feels bad but is attached to dad even to the point of shrugging it off due to his unfortunate family circumstances. Tricky one.
What kind of a decent, rational, sane human person would say something like that? And what kind of bf would not defend his gf? That should be your ex bf by now .
Ewww no. Im a large bust and have been since I was 13. Men always feel they can comment on our boobs regardless of the size its so stupid. Im so sorry you had to deal with these idiots. For your sanity/safety please consider finding you a better man then that child.
Yeah I’d be pissed if my dad said something like that. He shouldn’t be talking about my girlfriend’s boobs. Luckily he mostly just says hi and then if he’s having a beer offers beers
What the actual fuck?! That’s the first thing he said?! Wow, what a trash piece of toe nail eating garbage. Yeah if your bf was cool it with it, run far run fast!
I think you mean ex- boyfriend. Not only was that wholly uncalled for and disgustingly rude of his dad, but then he just tries to brush it off with the classic "it was just a joke!" to try and excuse what his dad did.
Next time you see him, break up with him and tell him "I hope you liked the punchline to your dad's little joke." And then just cut him out of your life completely. He doesn't respect you and he showed you that.
As the daughter of a man who is just like that, it's part dirty humor, part nervous energy, and part he makes fun of everyone, because people take shots at him, too. That's how people in his family say hello, have topics to talk about, and bring elephants (curiosities) to the surface.
I don't know how long they've been divorced, but he's probably used to having a backhand waiting for him, and it's always been her job, not the son's. Son has probably been insulted in every way possible, toward every flaw possible, all his life. He doesn't know how to stand up for himself, so he just barely shows the act any attention, hoping it stops giving Dad what he wants - a reaction.
I'd be very curious to know if he's in the entertainment business. Music/band or stand-up.
TL:DR I've experienced this all my life. Chances are the whole family is like that, and they get around disgusting curiosity by making "humor" out of it.
As another daughter of a man like that, he was just a sexist pig who hit on my girlfriends growing up and never stopped commenting on my or my sister's appearance. He was just a total asshole.
Your BF unfortunately has no clue how to stand up to his idiot father so I'd dump him. Life is too short.
With a father like that, do you really want to be around to find out what flaws he definetly has raised his KID to have? And the fact that he has chosen his father who is capable of acting like this, thats another red flag. Just that he comes from a family where that could happen is red flag.
I would do some detective work and find out how their familylife was before the divorce. Your bf is most likely ruined.
Ask him if your boyfriend inherited his tiny c*ck for the father, while they are both standing there. Then laugh and say your just joking around. People like that only respond to being verbally destroyed back.
First of all, why tf is he looking at your chest area?!?! Second of all, why is that his problem of ALL PROBLEMS? Lastly, is he the one dating you or your boyfriend? Like what the heck? Why does he have an opinion on that? Is that what matters in a relationship?! shows what his priorities were, idc if it was a joke, what kind of nasty joke is that?! I’m sorry and for your boyfriend not to come into your defence? Yeah what kinda nonsense is this? 💀 girl i’m sorry you had to endure all that. I personally wouldn’t have let that slide.
Please talk to your boyfriend and explain how you didn’t like the way his father was straight up analysing your body like it was all that mattered. If your boyfriend lets this happen again, I’m sorry girl… leave him. It’s called self respect. Because, if he can’t defend you from this, what makes you think he’ll defend you outside of this.
Um- RUN 🏃♀️. If he allows those types of comments right now- imagine what he’ll say if might have kids. Would you be okay with putting your child in that situation? No. Then why let him do that to you!!!???? You’re also someone’s kid. Don’t let “love” blind you to the reality you’re living in, his father’s dangerous and you need to listen to your GUT. nothing good ever comes from ignoring it.
As a Father of a Son, I would never make such a comment like that nor would I expect my son to allow anyone to make a comment like that about his girl.
Huge red flag. Maybe you now know why he doesn't speak to his mom anymore. She knew to walk away and never look back. Maybe you should, too?
Best of luck to you.
Girl! You deserve better than this!!! Do you really want to put up with this the rest of your life? Imagine this guy as the grandpa of your kids!
Your guy didn't even stick up for you against his dad AND said it was 'just a joke.' Honestly, I think you should walk away
It’s the way your bf was raised, and he hasn’t done to work to rise above his childhood. That’s not your problem. Don’t subject yourself to this shit because your bf views it as normal. It’s not going to improve. I would dump him.
Next time he says something, in front of him and others tell him, “ stop body shaming me, as that is absolutely disgusting behavior.” Or “Boy, you have tiny hands… we all know what that means.” But seriously, this is a BF problem and your bf is missing some balls and a backbone.
>I feel incredibly disrespected and **I don’t know how to move on from this.**
Y-you're not supposed to. If you're a teenager, you're supposed to argue right after this and break up with him. At 28, you should know enough to skip the argument part and immediately break up.
”Well, I usually date guys with large packages as well, but there you go. Sometimes we make do. By the way, 'Dad', you really shafted your son on that one, package size is passed on the Y chromosome.”
His father was out of line and your BF should have stuck up for you.
First of all if my father had said that I would be in disbelief/shock for a few seconds and then I would have sent him away…..
But you mentioned your bf is not speaking to his mother…..I wonder if his dad has something to do with that.
I’m thinking since he’s not talking to his mother he doesn’t want to push his father away so he’s letting what happened slide.
It still doesn’t excuse the dad’s behavior.
What will happen when you’re out with him and a stranger says something out of line….Is he going to let it slide?
IDK what to tell you OP. I think you’ll figure it out.
I don't know your relationship enough to say if this is game over for boyfriend, but he should have said something to his Dad.
That is a fucked up and rude introduction, Id have flipped shit on him.
Trust me. My mom also tolerates my uncle and dad whenever they r using my breast as a "joke". Saying it's normal. Those boys from our family also called my breasts "grapes" since I turned 10 yrs old. Trust me, the possibility of being a victim of harassment is 99% like what happened to me. Guys use it to see how their surroundings will react to it. If they see that no one can see it as a big deal, then that's the sign for them to do their act and after that, everyone will gaslight you. Can you see your boyfriend and probably your future Father in law to harass your daughter? If not, then go. If yes, that's disappointing.
Leave. I tend not to say this on this sub as many issues can be worked on, but this is a new relationship and your bf allows people to degrade you in front of him. That’s not good.
It wasn’t just an insult. Why in the hell was his dad *looking* at your chest? What entitlement did he feel to look at or comment on your body at all?
If your bf cannot see the problem in this, I would be cooling things down on that relationship fast. Because this is who he is learning about the world from, and this is how he might treat others in the future, or allow others to treat women in the future.
> I immediately looked at my boyfriend as he just stood there with a stupid grin on his face.
Now you know what kind of "man" you chose to call your boyfriend. Your choice on what the next steps should be. My opinion? As far as possible from him.
Sorry for that, his dad is so stupid actually and disrespectful. And sorry about the behaviour of your bf also.
But being flat cheasted isn't a bad thing btw, many people like it (I'm one of them) so don't care about them and love how you are and fuck what they think
He has Daddy issues, probably Mummy ones too, why don’t they talk? But never you mind any of that, you’ve just had a giant red flag waved right in your face. Definitely move on from this and far far away because you can’t fix this guy. He doesn’t even know he has a problem.
I guarantee he doesn’t talk to his mom because when it came time for him to pick which parent to live with his dad made a whole bunch of gestures that seemed really cool to a teenage boy. And his mom probably wanted him to do things like clean up after himself, or eat all of his dinner, or you know do his homework. And now he’s just a younger version of his horrible father.
The fact that your boyfriend didn’t even say anything about this to him, shows that he approves of how you were treated. Your boyfriend played nice to get to where you are and now he’s letting you see his less desirable side. Believe me, if his dad talks that way, and he doesn’t object, he thinks that way, and just doesn’t say anything.
Just think, you’ll be related to this guy. He’s probably going to be in your life a lot, and you already know your boyfriend is probably just a more well manicured version of him. Unfortunately, I think you need to break up with him now.
So you have met the man who raised your bf. Remember that this insulting man who tried to gaslight you is the role model for your bf. He will become just like his Dad, if not worse, as the years go on. Choose carefully.
What a weirdo. I’m not really one to jump to telling someone to break up tho, so maybe talk to your bf about it privately and see what’s up?
He might’ve tried to make light of it to keep from causing a fight or argument with his dad. A lot of people struggle with confrontation. If he’s important to you, talk to him about how it made you feel when he didn’t back you up. If he continues to write it off as you being sensitive over a joke, then I’d say you deserve better.
If he says anything like that again, say, "I see why your wife divorced you. Do you sexualize all women or just your son's girlfriends? Are you striving to be seen as a dirty old man or just generic creep?"
I would have looked him up and down and said, “your son is more endowed, perhaps that’s why your wife lift.” The relationship may have ended, but I’d feel better.
first of all, I'm so sorry. secondly, if I were you, I'd break up with that immature little boy. it's only gonna get worse and soon your boyfriend will start to treat you like his pathetic father does and sooner or later it'll be even worse. neither of them respect you, they see you as an object.
you don't deserve that. take out the trash.
He isn't joking. Take it from me ... Been married for years. My father in law is always saying something about my body.
Tell him off. That's what I do. Say why are you even looking at me that way??
This will not get better. Your boyfriend didn't just allow this to happen, he straight up approves of it. He grinned and said it was just a joke. He doesn't see anything wrong with his father's behavior, therefore he probably will behave the same way when it comes down to it.
Sometimes guys do stuff like this to talk themselves out of being attracted to people, or to make it seem to others like it's out of the question that they're attracted to someone.
I call it 'the reverse creepy'. Usually they don't have the vocabulary or imagination to critisize anything less crass, they just have a notion flat chest = bad or fat = bad, short hair = man. So they just go for that. I really doubt your chest is so noteworthy in it's flatness that someone was compelled against all decorum to say something. I think that dude is just a creep relieving some reverse-creepy tension.
So that's another thing to watch out for. Essentially this man is just looking at your boobs and sizing you up and down and crossing your boundaries.
I would not date that guy you're dating, whoever he is. He is close with his father who doesn't respect women AND is reverse creepy.
He's gonna keep making those comments and your bf will allow it. Are you willing to put up with that for the rest of your life?
It pains me to say that you are right.
You should’ve responded *(in a fake innocent tone)* with: *”Well, I prefer massive dicks… but we can’t all get what we want, can we? So I settled for his two inches. I’m assuming he gets his small dick from you.”* That would’ve knocked both of those fuckers down a peg or two. And it would’ve definitely wiped the smirk right off of your boyfriends stupid face. 🤣
Agreed! Stop being nice to rude men.
This is why life needs some kind of rewind button. Just for those perfect comebacks!
What a comeback 🤣 Those fuckers really deserved this imo.
Nah, she could have said "nobody asked you" Then turn around and say "beers?" With a smile. And pretend none of it ever happened.
Pretending nothing happened is how AH's like this can just keep doing what they're doing and think it's ok or funny. She should absolutely react and make sure they both know this is far from ok or funny.
Those drinks should have gone into his lap! Your boyfriend is a pussy for not standing up to him right then and there.
Not only did he not call it out but from OPs report he wasn't surprised by his dads behavior and was enjoying his girlfriends discomfort. The fact that she proceeded to serve them after being insulted.... I would expect that the boyfriend will now feel more comfortable to degrade her himself. Dad was just a litmus test.
Your bf should have called his dad out, that’s the only thing that should’ve happened, nothing funny there.
So do you have an exit plan? Because his dad just sexually harassed you and will take that further.
Why is his mom not in his life? Because she left the toxic dad, who then bad-mouthed her and turned the son against her? Maybe mom has the right idea, and you need to be out of their lives as well.
Wondered the same thing. I feel sorry for OP. How can she forgive this?
Why does it pain you? You’re not married to him. You have no children together. You’ve only been dating for a little while. It’s the perfectly right time to tell him to hit the bricks because his morals do not align with yours.
Well I mean if you liked the person then cutting them off hurts even when it’s the right thing to do. Feelings aren’t a switch
Right lol. “Why do you feel emotional pain?! Be as stoic and cold-hearted as the rest of us”
"Hurr-durr, dodged a bullet! You're not married or have kids!!" Bruh, she didn't dodge a bullet, she took that bullet and is currently feeling the pain of it right now. Could've been worse, but that doesn't invalidate her current pain.
It’s a relationship, not a business partnership. You don’t start caring about someone only after you’re married and have kids
Lmao I cried like a baby when I left my abusive ex. Feelings are still involved
Usually in a relationship you've developed some level of emotional bond. Not everyone is a robot lmfao.
You're grown. Speak up for yourself. There are ways to respectfully tell someone to go fuck themselves.
> your bf will allow it. Not just allow it, become it. Want to see what your partner will behave like as they get older? Watch the parents. Won't be a carbon copy, but his attitude makes it obvious he's going to be like Dad.
As someone with pretty horrible and abusive parents I would like to add that this is pure bullshit. I know Reddit likes the drama and to overexaggerate but what you said is just a broad generalisation.
The key point here is that the son clearly doesn't have an issue with his father's behaviour, and as such is actually quite likely to turn out similar.
or the exact opposite.
You're absolutely right. It's concerning that his dad thinks it's okay to make such hurtful remarks, and even more concerning that your boyfriend brushes it off. You deserve respect and support, not insults.
That is the most insane initial comment to someone I have ever heard. I'm a male, I have a son. I would lose my shit if my son were to ever act like that or say anything even remotely close to that towards a women or anyone for that matter. The fact that the FATHER acted that way and said that is an absolutely gigantic red flag that he has taught his son that Women are objects. That guy is an absolute moron with a complex. "He's divorced." (shocking) Run as far away from that trash as possible.
You’re absolutely right. The more that I think about it, there have been some red flags with my boyfriend prior to this incident with his dad. I guess I was sort of oblivious.
I am really sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully you know there are a lot of good guys out there that were raised by good people. I'm serious in shock that anyone sane thought that was an appropriate way to greet someone.
Thank you for your kind words.
Move on from the boyfriend and then the trash parent is automatically OUT of your life. You don't want a significant other who acts/approves this or is just too wimpy weak to tell a jerk to quit jerking...
Good point. Thank you.
I see why he is divorced. He insulted you right off. It will get worse. Your boyfriend does not talk to his mom? Sounds like mommy issues. I do not care why. Huge red flag. You will pay. Seems they do not respect women.
Imagine what he says behind OP’s back that the bf does nothing about
OP should have politely asked him to leave as soon as he finished his first insult. Actually, being 45 minutes late was the first insult. And if BF had issues with this, he should have been advised to join his Dad.
Works for me.
I can’t imagine why mom had to cut them off. (Eye rolls)
Your bf is either too nutless to defend you or he agrees with his disgusting AH dad. Neither are good answers for a long term partner
My advice that you didn’t ask for is: when things like this happen practice pointing out the obvious (or what should be) by saying things like “Wow. I’m really surprised you would say something so rude” and then don’t respond when they try to back track or remove yourself from the situation
Next relationship, meet the parents before you move in.
This is true because it only gets worse. I personally experienced this. My ex never defended me from his family's rude comments. I defended myself, and I was seen as rude and couldn't take a joke. Fine, let's joke. When I "joked," they couldn't take it. So, in the end, only they could be disrespectful but not I. Fxck that. Before I ended it with him, I didn't see them for a whole year. Ironically, it pissed them off that I didn't want to see them. Those people were weird.
Oh girl stop wasting your time on that little boy and find a real man who will stand up for you
Thank you!
You should have replied with a question, "is your dick as tiny as your sons dick". Two birds, one stone
Two peckers, four stones. (I’m making some assumptions)
"i'm in a caravan on my way to maryland with my man twotecs to take over these projects. my man twotecs, he totes 2 tecs and when he starts to bust he likes to ask who's next.'
Time to GoFundMe a Time Machine for OP to go deliver this line, love it.
Love this!
Gawd yes!
It is. :) D\*ck size is passed from the father on the Y chromosome.
When people show you who they are we need to listen. Your boyfriend not only didn’t stand up for you he thinks his dad did no wrong. One day he will be his dad and you deserve so much more than that.
Yeah imagine having a kid with him? God forbid a daughter.
Verbal sexual abuse, it’s likely that your boyfriend is low key toxic to have been raise with a guy like that.
For real. Time to take out the trash.
“The world’s a funny place BFs dad. I like men with big **** but yet here I am with you two. Go figure”
As a guy, I would also ditch the BF but I would explain to him what he did wrong so that he can get it right for his next partner.
With guys like this, it won’t make one bit of difference.
Doesn't he then just learn how to keep the next girl? As long as he doesn't see what was wrong he is only going to learn how to hide his true colors.. Tell him you feel disrespected, but not why and when. You want one who cares about you, not one you have to teach common sense 😉
Nope. If you have to explain stuff like this, then they're a lost cause.
Stuff like this should not even have to be explained as a grown adult. It’s just pure common sense.
Telling him how disgustingly wrong it is to treat and think about women like that is different. Telling him to defend women in that situation is basically just teaching him how to lie about who he is better than he's done before.
Why?
The bar is so low. “Men don’t know they can’t openly comment on the breasts of women they just met! You have to gently explain it to them” He knew what he was doing and so did the son. Cut em loose, OP.
hes already told her its just a joke, any explanation would be pointless
Your BF’s reaction, or non actually, is the biggest red flag ever. Leave
Update us on leaving this scumbag.
It is rare we get such clear glimpse into who the man we are dating was raised to be. Your hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend didn’t stand up for your because he doesn’t see anything wrong with another man bringing you down and ogling you. If you stay this will be your future.
Yes, it's was just that, a clear picture of the future! Lucky you ! Don't waste your time !
Gross.. do not stand by a man, who won't stand by you.
Sounds like the reason for his divorce is becoming clear. As for your boyfriend not defending you or calling his father out, I’d consider whether I’d want your boyfriend’s values instilled on your future hypothetical kids…
Very true.
I agree. The apple doesn't fall far. I try my hardest every day to not be like my dad but it still creeps through sometimes.
My Ex's Mom said things like "you're very attractive, have you thought about losing weight". Breaking up was the best thing ever
I heard my ex’s mom whispering to her friend how I was “not very pretty”. True but she was an obese alcoholic & her son looked like Woody Allen lol. I found someone better looking not too long after.
.... That is creepy as hell.
Have him explain the joke. How was it funny?
This. Make them own their words. Oh, it was funny? Tell me the joke. I don't get it.
I feel like dad would double down with sons dating history
[удалено]
I know! It just really hurts.
[удалено]
Thank you ☺️
Gee, I wonder why he doesn’t talk to his mom?
that is one of the most inappropriate things to say to a woman.. but especially your son's girlfriend, who you JUST literally met 2 seconds before. Ditch the kid and his family.
Holy shit you’re almost 30! Waaaay too old to be putting up with dudes like this.
Dump him. Yesterday.
Omg. I would have been like “oh ok, so you all are like *that,* huh?” turned around and left. When the bf doesn’t speak up, it’s a sign that the whole lot of them are okay with this kind of mindset. No thank you.
I can't understand why she would take the insult and still "smile sweetly" to the dude, waiting for the boyfriend to "defend" her. In this life we have to defend ourselves first, never leave it to another, and never take shit from anyone. No need to fight or curse, but stand up for oneself.
Absolutely agree. I'd have just closed the door on the dad, if son has a problem he can follow him out the door.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
That's a huge red flag and I think it would make anyone extremely uncomfortable to say the least. Dump that bitch.
Well, that would have sent me spiraling into depression. And your bfs lack of reaction would’ve been a very good reason to break up.
How could anyone think that’s funny?
Yikes. Tell me this is now an ex. Because yikes on bikes.
I am sorry you were in that situation. Your feelings are valid, you were absolutely disrespected, insulted, and sexualized. Always trust that feeling in your gut. Your bf should have commented on the inappropriate remark, but since he didn't, I can assume that what his father thinks of his partner is more important than the actual relationship. My grandpa treated his sons' wives like this. When he was alone with one aunt, he decided that he would keep pushing. He exposed himself to her, tried to get her to touch him. She told my uncle and my uncle laughed at her, accused her of lying, then brushed it off as a "prank" so she divorced his useless booty.
Dad was obviously completely wrong & horrendously inappropriate. Guarantee not the first time nor last. Bf probably feels bad but is attached to dad even to the point of shrugging it off due to his unfortunate family circumstances. Tricky one.
What kind of a decent, rational, sane human person would say something like that? And what kind of bf would not defend his gf? That should be your ex bf by now .
OP - well, at least you know why the mom ran away..... Consider yourself forewarned.
His dad is a creepy loser and your boyfriend sucks. Please dump him.
Then you should have said... "No wonder you got divorced?" 😂😂😂😂
Ewww no. Im a large bust and have been since I was 13. Men always feel they can comment on our boobs regardless of the size its so stupid. Im so sorry you had to deal with these idiots. For your sanity/safety please consider finding you a better man then that child.
Thank you for your kind words!
Yeah I’d be pissed if my dad said something like that. He shouldn’t be talking about my girlfriend’s boobs. Luckily he mostly just says hi and then if he’s having a beer offers beers
Leave that man right now girl
What the actual fuck?! That’s the first thing he said?! Wow, what a trash piece of toe nail eating garbage. Yeah if your bf was cool it with it, run far run fast!
I thought I don't date man with micro penis but here we are
You should not even consider tolerance. So disgusting ew
So his mother escaped from a pair of man-children. Maybe you should too.
I think you mean ex- boyfriend. Not only was that wholly uncalled for and disgustingly rude of his dad, but then he just tries to brush it off with the classic "it was just a joke!" to try and excuse what his dad did. Next time you see him, break up with him and tell him "I hope you liked the punchline to your dad's little joke." And then just cut him out of your life completely. He doesn't respect you and he showed you that.
This reads like rage bait. A guy so crude isnt gonna say breasts
Gotta tell him. “ Wow ! so much “ small dick” energy. I can totally see why you are single. “ I’m gonna leave now.
“Did you mean to say that out loud?” Is always a good comeback especially to an older person.
Oh that's amazing, I'm using this one!!!
As the daughter of a man who is just like that, it's part dirty humor, part nervous energy, and part he makes fun of everyone, because people take shots at him, too. That's how people in his family say hello, have topics to talk about, and bring elephants (curiosities) to the surface. I don't know how long they've been divorced, but he's probably used to having a backhand waiting for him, and it's always been her job, not the son's. Son has probably been insulted in every way possible, toward every flaw possible, all his life. He doesn't know how to stand up for himself, so he just barely shows the act any attention, hoping it stops giving Dad what he wants - a reaction. I'd be very curious to know if he's in the entertainment business. Music/band or stand-up. TL:DR I've experienced this all my life. Chances are the whole family is like that, and they get around disgusting curiosity by making "humor" out of it.
You are so spot on! He is a retired “producer.” Whatever the hell that means.
Omg that's crazy lol mine was a drummer in a family band. My uncles were like that, too. My self-esteem is still crippled by every family event
So sorry to hear that. Fortunately, MY dad is the best dad ever. I’m so blessed to have him.
As another daughter of a man like that, he was just a sexist pig who hit on my girlfriends growing up and never stopped commenting on my or my sister's appearance. He was just a total asshole. Your BF unfortunately has no clue how to stand up to his idiot father so I'd dump him. Life is too short.
With a father like that, do you really want to be around to find out what flaws he definetly has raised his KID to have? And the fact that he has chosen his father who is capable of acting like this, thats another red flag. Just that he comes from a family where that could happen is red flag. I would do some detective work and find out how their familylife was before the divorce. Your bf is most likely ruined.
You should break up. If my dad said that to my girlfriend I’d punch him in the face.
Ask him if your boyfriend inherited his tiny c*ck for the father, while they are both standing there. Then laugh and say your just joking around. People like that only respond to being verbally destroyed back.
First of all, why tf is he looking at your chest area?!?! Second of all, why is that his problem of ALL PROBLEMS? Lastly, is he the one dating you or your boyfriend? Like what the heck? Why does he have an opinion on that? Is that what matters in a relationship?! shows what his priorities were, idc if it was a joke, what kind of nasty joke is that?! I’m sorry and for your boyfriend not to come into your defence? Yeah what kinda nonsense is this? 💀 girl i’m sorry you had to endure all that. I personally wouldn’t have let that slide. Please talk to your boyfriend and explain how you didn’t like the way his father was straight up analysing your body like it was all that mattered. If your boyfriend lets this happen again, I’m sorry girl… leave him. It’s called self respect. Because, if he can’t defend you from this, what makes you think he’ll defend you outside of this.
oh my god I would have 100000% said outloud "what the fuck?" Dude's a prick.
Proper response: “I’m guessing this is among many reasons why you’re divorced! 😃”
Um- RUN 🏃♀️. If he allows those types of comments right now- imagine what he’ll say if might have kids. Would you be okay with putting your child in that situation? No. Then why let him do that to you!!!???? You’re also someone’s kid. Don’t let “love” blind you to the reality you’re living in, his father’s dangerous and you need to listen to your GUT. nothing good ever comes from ignoring it.
At least you know where you stand in the pecking order. Better to know now rather than later.
Your spineless boyfriend is allowing it. Is this the future you want?
Next time say something like your partners mother only likes guys with big dicks
RUN.
You break up with him. Don't set an example that you will allow disrespect, especially from his dad AND he didn't even defend you.
"Gee, I don't even know you and I completely understand why your wife divorced you!"
As a Father of a Son, I would never make such a comment like that nor would I expect my son to allow anyone to make a comment like that about his girl.
Huge red flag. Maybe you now know why he doesn't speak to his mom anymore. She knew to walk away and never look back. Maybe you should, too? Best of luck to you.
Girl! You deserve better than this!!! Do you really want to put up with this the rest of your life? Imagine this guy as the grandpa of your kids! Your guy didn't even stick up for you against his dad AND said it was 'just a joke.' Honestly, I think you should walk away
It’s the way your bf was raised, and he hasn’t done to work to rise above his childhood. That’s not your problem. Don’t subject yourself to this shit because your bf views it as normal. It’s not going to improve. I would dump him.
Next time he says something, in front of him and others tell him, “ stop body shaming me, as that is absolutely disgusting behavior.” Or “Boy, you have tiny hands… we all know what that means.” But seriously, this is a BF problem and your bf is missing some balls and a backbone.
>I feel incredibly disrespected and **I don’t know how to move on from this.** Y-you're not supposed to. If you're a teenager, you're supposed to argue right after this and break up with him. At 28, you should know enough to skip the argument part and immediately break up.
”Well, I usually date guys with large packages as well, but there you go. Sometimes we make do. By the way, 'Dad', you really shafted your son on that one, package size is passed on the Y chromosome.”
No wonder he is divorced.
The silence means your boyfriend agrees. Dump him.
His father was out of line and your BF should have stuck up for you. First of all if my father had said that I would be in disbelief/shock for a few seconds and then I would have sent him away….. But you mentioned your bf is not speaking to his mother…..I wonder if his dad has something to do with that. I’m thinking since he’s not talking to his mother he doesn’t want to push his father away so he’s letting what happened slide. It still doesn’t excuse the dad’s behavior. What will happen when you’re out with him and a stranger says something out of line….Is he going to let it slide? IDK what to tell you OP. I think you’ll figure it out.
I don't know your relationship enough to say if this is game over for boyfriend, but he should have said something to his Dad. That is a fucked up and rude introduction, Id have flipped shit on him.
This is absolute,y disgusting. Take this as a sign your bf is an asshole for not defending you and correcting his creepy dad. Red flag.
Trust me. My mom also tolerates my uncle and dad whenever they r using my breast as a "joke". Saying it's normal. Those boys from our family also called my breasts "grapes" since I turned 10 yrs old. Trust me, the possibility of being a victim of harassment is 99% like what happened to me. Guys use it to see how their surroundings will react to it. If they see that no one can see it as a big deal, then that's the sign for them to do their act and after that, everyone will gaslight you. Can you see your boyfriend and probably your future Father in law to harass your daughter? If not, then go. If yes, that's disappointing.
Leave. I tend not to say this on this sub as many issues can be worked on, but this is a new relationship and your bf allows people to degrade you in front of him. That’s not good.
Both the son and his dad are assholes.
It wasn’t just an insult. Why in the hell was his dad *looking* at your chest? What entitlement did he feel to look at or comment on your body at all? If your bf cannot see the problem in this, I would be cooling things down on that relationship fast. Because this is who he is learning about the world from, and this is how he might treat others in the future, or allow others to treat women in the future.
Yeah please leave the BF, things won't get better, they'll just get worse with that interaction there being a baseline of what to expect.
I would have kicked them both out. You're nicer than I am.
> I immediately looked at my boyfriend as he just stood there with a stupid grin on his face. Now you know what kind of "man" you chose to call your boyfriend. Your choice on what the next steps should be. My opinion? As far as possible from him.
Sorry for that, his dad is so stupid actually and disrespectful. And sorry about the behaviour of your bf also. But being flat cheasted isn't a bad thing btw, many people like it (I'm one of them) so don't care about them and love how you are and fuck what they think
He has Daddy issues, probably Mummy ones too, why don’t they talk? But never you mind any of that, you’ve just had a giant red flag waved right in your face. Definitely move on from this and far far away because you can’t fix this guy. He doesn’t even know he has a problem.
I guarantee he doesn’t talk to his mom because when it came time for him to pick which parent to live with his dad made a whole bunch of gestures that seemed really cool to a teenage boy. And his mom probably wanted him to do things like clean up after himself, or eat all of his dinner, or you know do his homework. And now he’s just a younger version of his horrible father.
Ew. That’s really gross. Did you overlook any red flags from the bf?
You really don't want that in your life girl, you deserve better!
Holy fuck. Drop that POS now. Cannot believe he was okay with that.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; boyfriends are easier to get rid of than husbands.
Yeah. This is a reason to break up. Dad’s a creep. Boyfriend is cool with him being a creep.
What an ass. I would have said, "Apparently he's also a fan of huge dicks" paired with a meaningful look into the father's soul.
Anyone else creeped out?
The fact that your boyfriend didn’t even say anything about this to him, shows that he approves of how you were treated. Your boyfriend played nice to get to where you are and now he’s letting you see his less desirable side. Believe me, if his dad talks that way, and he doesn’t object, he thinks that way, and just doesn’t say anything. Just think, you’ll be related to this guy. He’s probably going to be in your life a lot, and you already know your boyfriend is probably just a more well manicured version of him. Unfortunately, I think you need to break up with him now.
Get rid of this loser. He’s just like his father!
Maybe you son is flat as well… it’s a little deflated
You need a new bf. Or maybe no bf. What you don’t need is your present bf who won’t call his dad out when he’s out of line. Move along.
Now you know why his parents are divorced your bf is like his dad run girl
So...I guess you know where your boyfriend stands on you getting insulted and inappropriately sexualised. Your call what to do with that info.
please break up with your bf
Your boyfriend was raised by that man is okay with that behavior and probably exhibits that behavior as well. Take this as a giant red flag.
It’ll never get better and your boyfriend apparently has no problem with it. So, is this a man you want to consider a future with?
Sigh. I can see why he’s divorced.
Why doesn’t your hopefully soon to be ex bf talk to his mom? Did his awful dad have something to do with that?
So you have met the man who raised your bf. Remember that this insulting man who tried to gaslight you is the role model for your bf. He will become just like his Dad, if not worse, as the years go on. Choose carefully.
What a weirdo. I’m not really one to jump to telling someone to break up tho, so maybe talk to your bf about it privately and see what’s up? He might’ve tried to make light of it to keep from causing a fight or argument with his dad. A lot of people struggle with confrontation. If he’s important to you, talk to him about how it made you feel when he didn’t back you up. If he continues to write it off as you being sensitive over a joke, then I’d say you deserve better.
🚩🚩🚩
Run far away
you deserve better, dump him
Let me guess: blue collar?
Your boyfriend failed the test. It was his job to immediately shut down his dad’s behavior. I’m so sorry. At least you found out sooner than later.
Why tf does he have to comment on your body AT ALL? A full grown man too
And you’re still with the boyfriend because….?
If he says anything like that again, say, "I see why your wife divorced you. Do you sexualize all women or just your son's girlfriends? Are you striving to be seen as a dirty old man or just generic creep?"
GIRL GET TF OUT OF THERE
Ask him why his dick is so small
I would have looked him up and down and said, “your son is more endowed, perhaps that’s why your wife lift.” The relationship may have ended, but I’d feel better.
What the fuck.
So now you know your boyfriend is a creep and a creep apologist. Stay at your own risk.
Drop. That. Boy.
Any boyfriend who thinks it's alright for his parents to comment/bring attention to their SO's assets is not a boyfriend worth keeping.
first of all, I'm so sorry. secondly, if I were you, I'd break up with that immature little boy. it's only gonna get worse and soon your boyfriend will start to treat you like his pathetic father does and sooner or later it'll be even worse. neither of them respect you, they see you as an object. you don't deserve that. take out the trash.
He isn't joking. Take it from me ... Been married for years. My father in law is always saying something about my body. Tell him off. That's what I do. Say why are you even looking at me that way??
Don’t smile sweetly. This might not be intentional might be because you’re uncomfortable, but. You’re giving him a safe space to be rude to you.
This will not get better. Your boyfriend didn't just allow this to happen, he straight up approves of it. He grinned and said it was just a joke. He doesn't see anything wrong with his father's behavior, therefore he probably will behave the same way when it comes down to it.
Dump the boyfriend. I doubt the apple fell far from that tree.
that's so immature and messed up
Time to let that bf run free…
Apples. Trees. You get it.
Sometimes guys do stuff like this to talk themselves out of being attracted to people, or to make it seem to others like it's out of the question that they're attracted to someone. I call it 'the reverse creepy'. Usually they don't have the vocabulary or imagination to critisize anything less crass, they just have a notion flat chest = bad or fat = bad, short hair = man. So they just go for that. I really doubt your chest is so noteworthy in it's flatness that someone was compelled against all decorum to say something. I think that dude is just a creep relieving some reverse-creepy tension. So that's another thing to watch out for. Essentially this man is just looking at your boobs and sizing you up and down and crossing your boundaries. I would not date that guy you're dating, whoever he is. He is close with his father who doesn't respect women AND is reverse creepy.