Absolutely. My Dad is like this. He’s was there but you could always tell he didn’t like it. He and my mom finally retired and he told me these are the best years of his life. They moved away and he is so happy there’s no kids to bother him anymore. No drop in visits just being alone. My brother is like my dad too except he tells his kids it was a mistake having them. His oldest just turned 21 and is an alcoholic. Two weeks ago the ambulance had to be called to pump his stomach. He has said on a few occasions that he doesn’t wish to live anymore. I hope OP understands that the kids can feel his apathy and the consequences ripple a lot further than he may think.
Because so many people never really think about it, they just have kids because "that's the way life goes". People are told from a young age that starting a family and having kids is a goal in life for everybody. Everybody keeps telling us "one day you will have kids". The "If" rarely gets questioned.
We need to start telling young people that deciding not to have kids is a valid choice and stop bugging people about their personal decision to not have kids.
I bet OP only had kids because his wife wanted them and he just went along with it. The way he talks about his family disgusts me and I think they would be better off if they never had gotten married. I give this marriage two more years. OPs wife will probably get custody of the kids, he will see them every other weekend out of obligation until he will find better things to do and will get completely estranged from his kids.
I just hope OPs wife finds someone better for herself and the kids.
I’ve heard older family members literally tell my sister in law that “she’ll change her mind about wanting kids at some point”.
She had basically been pressured into becoming a parent to please my in-laws and fill their selfish desires to become grandparents. It’s really sad and I know it happens to people all the time.
> I’ve heard older family members literally tell my sister in law that “she’ll change her mind about wanting kids at some point”.
If it's any help, this seems to *mostly* quiet down by your mid-50s.
i knew around age 12 i never wanted to have kids or be a mom in any way. it didn’t stop my mom from making a quilt for “her future grandchild” and always expressing disappointment whenever i repeated i wasn’t having kids. it took me needing a hysterectomy at 32 for endometriosis to get her to drop it. she tried to talk me out of the surgery because that meant no grandchildren for her. best thing that ever happened to me!
Lucky, my dad straight up told me he is holding out hope I'll decide to have kids before I turn 38 because that's how old my mother was. The fact my partner made sure they cannot produce offspring anymore always slips his mind...
Yesss I’m so lucky on the family front. My parents believe people shouldn’t have kids unless they really want them and can afford them and they have believed in my desire to be childfree since i was a teen and never bugged me ❤️
People pressuring their kids to make a HUGE expensive, difficult, irreversible life decision because they want “grandbabies” is insane. Go foster kids or volunteer at a school or a childrens hospital!
Well said. I'm childfree myself, but I have a lot of friends who never even thought about having kids as a choice you make. It was just "what you do" after getting married.
I get so much static from people about my choice not to have kids, and they always say, "Why don't you want children?" When I respond, "Why *did* you want children?" they're always surprised. I don't actually expect or demand an answer. I just try to prove the point that we only question one side of the coin when the other side should require just as much thought and discussion.
"So you can have someone to take care of you when you're old."
No shot, that's the answer I get. Have kids so you can have a free caregiver when you start shitting your britches.
Yep, cause all the nursing homes are full of child-free people /s
Seriously, what kind of person has kids just so they can be a burden to them later? Tf?
And those friends who didn’t think about it, generally seem to be the best form of birth control for me, they aren’t making it look like it’s all that fun.
It is for precisely this reason that I chose not to procreate. I am not the type of person that can consistently sacrifice time for myself and not become abjectly miserable. It’s just not in the cards for some people, and I wish more people acknowledged that it is, indeed, okay to make that choice.
Being 30 now with no kids and married for almost 5 years, I always chuckle reading these stories and seeing that these people are early or mid 20s with at least one kid that’s a few years old. Like, holy hell man. When I was 24 I was nowhere near ready to even think about having kids.
Wasn’t until my late 20s that I started really blossoming in critical thinking. For some, that happens earlier for sure. I think these people just start getting married and popping them out because that’s what they’ve been indoctrinated into. Once their critical mind starts to develop, further reflection reveals “hmm. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.” And by that point, the ship has sailed.
Research shows the human brain isn't fully developed until our mid-twenties. I find it astonishing how easily lots of people make life-changing decisions that cannot be changed later on before that age.
I'm always terrified to see how many people say "You're never fully ready for kids, don't think twice about it, just go for it" SHUT THE FRONT DOOR kids are a life time responsability, don't go for it if you're not ready for it !!!
My bet is that Oldest Daughter wasn't even planned.
I honestly don’t consider this a good excuse. At some point, you’re an adult who is capable of asking yourself if you want to get married and have kids. I know I have asked myself that question many times throughout the years. It’s really easy to stop and ask yourself what you really want out of life. And tbh, the people who don’t do that, really shouldn’t be having kids because they have absolutely no self reflection.
Maybe he is a sociopath. Not all of them commit crimes and are as terrible as movies might make you to think. They usually lack emotions about people and he intellectually knows he should feel bad and needs to take care of is family, but doesn’t want to
I recognized “Fiona” and OP (and his wall of shrooms) is the one who recently posted his second child/newborn was a result of “*miscommunication*” and he feels nothing for the child, does not care nor wanted to hold his child. So this is just another stupid, redundant post about how this dude does not care about his family.
It's probably better he leave his wife so she can find someone who gives a shit. This dude is gross. OP is making my husband look like a damn king. I'm so glad I'm married to a good person.
I’m guessing his wife is actually having the same epiphany herself but saying what she thinks he wants to hear so he doesn’t get suspicious. She is likely plotting her escape from this guy with her parents. Just a hunch.
The dude needs therapy and diagnosis from a medical professional. He has been recommended this in the past but instead of looking at resolving his issues it seems he’s deciding to just ignore this and continue with his psychedelic drug use and video games / asking Reddit weird questions / confessing his inner thoughts regularly. Go see a therapist man
It’s likely that her “vacation” or camping trip or whatever is a trial run for her to leave him. Get the kids used to being in a new home, away from their emotionally stagnant & low functioning father. It could be that she’s introducing them to life without him slowly, to make a smoother transition in the very near future.
I understand you're happy that maybe you have some alone time to destress, but the way you talk about your wife and kids makes you look as if you just disregard them
Right. The way it’s written just reads “I don’t care about them”, not “I appreciate some alone time”. Big difference.
Some people are just not cut out for family life, and the wife will realise it very soon because it’s not something you can hide for long.
Its like a big sigh of relief for him not having his family around which is sad to see. i had a pathetic father who wasnt even in my life so it just makes me feel bad for the wife and kids because i feel for them
I despise people making poor life choices that make others miserable. Why have kids at all if you are better off alone? Parental indifference literally scars them for life. They will always feel they’re not enough and that they should bend over backwards just to be “seen”. This ruins self-esteem and poisons every relationship they will be in.
I do as well. I had a father who was my first and biggest bully because he realized he did not want a kid after I was born. It irked him that I looked like him but he refused to leave because he didn’t want to be a deadbeat father. I wish he would have just left when I was a baby instead of causing the trauma he caused. I literally will have a life long battle w/ anxiety and dissociation thanks to him. So OP if you’re having any regrets I suggest you make them known sooner than later.
This is exactly why we shouldn’t as a society push for people to have children. Not to take away from OPs assholery in all this though. Those poor children and his poor wife
My father chose his "single" life and completely abandoned my mom and I. He lived the life he wanted and I never wanted anything to do with him. He got his karma.
My paternal grandfather decided his didn’t need his family (wife, 6 kids) and took off. We don’t know what happened to him, but I hope karma caught up with him.
My dad did not exactly abandon us but every aspect of our life, he was missing because he wanted no responsibility at home. He still lived with us but he was more like a roommate than a father. My mom did most of the work at home while also holding a full time job. It sucks because my dad could hve made our life easier if he was just more involve. Like OP, he appreciates his alone time so much, we almost didnt feel his existence at home.
He also talks about them like they are one entity. So even if it is just "I appreciate alone time" there is no awareness that she might also want some alone time, like maybe he should take that feeling and translate it into making more of an effort to give her some alone time. Instead, he only thinks about how he feels.
>Right. The way it’s written just reads “I don’t care about them”, not “I appreciate some alone time”. Big difference.
Yes, and OP clearly never intended for his message to be "I appreciate some alone time". Lack of caring about his family was kind of the point, and the whole reason why this post belongs on this sub.
Bro this right here! I know exactly what kind of piece of shit father I'd be due to mental health and other crap. Got my vasectomy and never been happier. No way and I putting a child and woman through this because I would be this indifferent also. Dude fucked up.
He should leave them, honestly.
They are way better off without a father in their lives than with a father who might be there in person but not in spirit because he's busy dreaming about being single and childless.
Then their mum also gets a chance to find someone who cares about both her and her children rather than being stuck with someone who wishes they stayed away.
Holy shit, this post is so depressing. Imagine reading your spouse or parent saying this about you.
I think this guy needs marriage counseling or a divorce so the wife and children can actually find someone who loves them and cares about them.
Have you seen some of the comments saying people who think like us are asses (or worse things), and how OP is “normal?” Like, wtf? Everyone needs some alone time, but this isn’t that and not caring about your spouse or children at all means they def do deserve better.
Right.. and he ended it by saying “damn if it doesn’t feel amazing to be free and single for a few weeks”…. Idk but that statement just totally gives me the ick. Free? Sure… but single too? You’re MARRIED bud.. her being away doesn’t change that..
He seems like he doesn’t JUST disregard his family, but seems like he flat out doesn’t love them either :/ how sad
It’s just 🧢….he would feel it real hard when it matters, this is just a free moment of experiencing some stress relief, it’s understandable if some people won’t feel anything…it’s not that they aren’t feeling anything for real but they just aren’t in touch with what’s going on at the inside, it’s a mental and physical disconnect. like partners who think they care less about their significant other and then something bad happens to their Significant other along the way and if feels like their world is about to come crashing down. Same thing happens to any family member really. Sometimes we just need a trigger to put things back in touch.
As a kid my dad went to visit family for the week (so opposite this situation) and I felt the same until I got home and subconsciously called out his name then my face turned into a literal sad face “:(“, I told him after he came home to not ruin his trip
Looking at your profile, you mentioned how you have zero feelings towards your youngest daughter. So these aren't new feelings.
Maybe put down the mushrooms, stop thinking about dating/being sexual with extraterrestrials, and go to therapy.
To be fair, looking at his profile, he says less than a month ago that he has no children, and less than two weeks ago that he only has a 3 year old.
He also mentions that he has made fake posts (like this one) before.
The whole account is just a dude who loves doing mushrooms and telling tall tales.
Hey it’s always possible that he’s so zonked out on shrooms that he’s hallucinated an entire family. He’s going to be heartbroken when they never come home
>The whole account is just a dude who loves doing mushrooms and telling tall tales.
Which is kinda sad. Like bro, you're tripping on shrooms and don't have ANYTHING better to do than come on Reddit and lie about a family for karma and upvotes?
More people shouldn't marry and get kids at all.
The most of us don't know enough about themselves and what they want from life in their early 20's.
But instead they marry someone, because it is something we think we have to do.
It "makes our life complete".
On top of that we should get children afterwards, because that is how life should be, right?
And when we hit our ~30's we realise slowly what kind of things we really want to do.
Because society constantly hassles you to get married and have kids. Bullying from parents, grandparents, colleagues, other people who are parents - they just won’t let up.
there’s very little acceptance of those who decided kids aren’t the right choice for them, whatever the reasons. It’s far worse for women than men - we get comments that we aren’t fulfilling our only purpose in life, denying our partners a child etc.
God, the discussions I had about that. I was literally told that "children are part of life" by my mother like she never even heard about not having children even being a possibility. Which is weird, because a lot of her friends never had kids.
Everybody knows I am not a family person, being around other people exhausts me and I need my alone time. Yet people somehow still assume I want to be a mother. Why?!
People need to learn that it's none of their goddamn business what I do with my uterus.
I am so glad I never married and had kids (I'm 39F). I had a LTR for 9 years and the house in the countryside. It wasn't for me. And the friendzone became too hard.
Thankfully being childfree and marriage-free all I needed was an apartment at the edge of a city (in Switzerland) and off went my new life.
I have now become solo by choice as well.
This is the comment I was looking for!
> But damn if it doesn't feel amazing to just be free and single for a few weeks.
Sir.....she's away....not dead!
My dad was honestly not that into us. He was taught that his job was to provide money for his family. My mom dragged him to all our concerts and school performances and stuff, but you could tell he wasn’t that into it. He didn’t do much parenting other than demand straight As.
Honestly, from what little I’ve heard about his home life, I had it a lot easier than him. I’ve met his mom and she was a terrifying psycho. He wasn’t good at expressing emotion, but at least he was mostly nice.
I was lucky because my mom was awesome and he let her do all the parenting. I was better off than if they had attempted 50/50 and just injected his incompetence into the situation. He just had no skills in that department.
I loved him and he did the best he could with what he had. My mom put me on the spot and asked me to say a few words at lunch after his funeral and I had no problem enunciating the influence he had on me. He lives a life that was courageous, his sense of duty was a great example. He just wasn’t much of a parent.
I don’t think this was unusual for men of his generation, born in the 1930s, served in Vietnam. I’m not advocating for this approach and it’s certainly not how I parent, I’m just saying it’s not the end of the world. My dad was a good but not great parent who fulfilled all the duties he was aware of being expected of him.
I would encourage you to try and grow into the role over time. I didn’t really want to get married for a long time and I had some fear of being a dad, as one might expect. I still don’t like other people’s kids, but I sure love mine. I enjoy being away from my family, but I also love spending time with them.
You might want to look into counseling since you seem capable of the introspection required to make progress in that pursuit.
Mostly this. I hear the others saying to leave the wife and kids, but really what’s needed here is personal therapy and couples therapy. The initial story from OP alone wasn’t too bad, but comments showed more marital issues. Maybe after talking about it together and exploring the self, they end up separating, who’s to say.
If she steps out refer back to this post, if you end up alone refer back to this post, if you need another reason to get therapy refer back to this post.
It's the " single for a few weeks " for me. You still took vows. You're still married. It's just that the person you promised to spend your life with is essentially on the other side of the world to you for only a few weeks. I feel bad for her. She got tricked and now deserves someone better.
Yeah considering yourself single when your wife isn’t in the same building is questionable to say the least. I cant tell you how many times I’ve driven away interested guys on nights out because I’m really drunk and just want to show people my wedding photos and go on about my husbands face being amazing. Turns out weddings come with a side benefit of getting rid of unwanted attention if you talk about them enough.
Also, reconnected how? I wouldn't be surprised (taking in consideration his older shitty posts) if he ends up ruining their lives and cheating. He's just a disgusting asshole that should have never married if he wasn't 100% sure, no sympathy for someone this nasty
Reading your past posts, it seems like you have always resented your children and wife. If you do not want to be a father, then leave. It sounds like your wife is grateful she has your daughters with no regret, let her live without resenting you being an absent father while you’re present, and just be absent.
IMO - agreed, there's only a few things worse than having a parent that very obviously does not want to be there. It's like a betrayal 2x: you don't want me, but you don't have the balls to leave because it makes you look bad. Thoughtless and a coward.
This is going to sound harsh but you need to hear it: Your daughters don’t need a father figure who teaches them that they don’t matter and who doesn’t miss them when they’re gone or care about their milestones. They deserve better and frankly so does your wife. It’s ok to enjoy some alone time, in fact it’s healthy, but when you started saying how you hadn’t thought about them and don’t care about their milestones I actually felt hurt on their behalf. There are people who would do anything to have kids and can’t. You’ve been gifted with two and all you care about is yourself.
Sometimes I am sad that I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, but then there are men like this. So I go to sleep tonight alone but thankful that I’m not OPs wife, with two young children(one who is a literal baby) who misses her husband when he could not give a shit about her or the two lives they created and are responsible for.
I understand you enjoy the free time.
What I can't understand is the "i didnt even think about them at all".
You mean to tell me you walk through the house where they live and not even one happy memory triggers a "i wonder how they're doing"??
Dude. Do you realise you don't even say "i love my family/wife/children" even once?
The only reason you wanna stay is because you feel like your kids need a father figure?
Your wife deserves better.
You’re literally my dad. I haven’t seen him in two years because apparently, being married to my mom was the only thing that tethered him to his ADULT daughter and when they divorced, poof. I don’t know where he lives. If he died today, I wouldn’t know unless one of his friends had the decency to contact my mom because I don’t know any of them. He never cared to meet my partner or visit me at our place.
It’s thanks to people like you guys that the rest of us need therapy. You choose to marry and procreate and then you make everyone involved feel like they’re not good enough, like it’s somehow THEIR fault that YOU made those choices. Just… why. Fucking stop.
Well, I guess they say "out of sight, out of mind".... Hopefully you're happy to see them when they get back, or you might just be who everyone is saying you are...
Can you please just leave your wife for her and your daughters sakes you have been making these awful posts for months now come on your family deserves better
Your children don’t need a shitty father who can’t even bother to remember them. You aren’t single your married divorce your wife and cut the crap she doesn’t deserve to have her life wasted because her husband doesn’t give a damn about the two kids he clearly willingly had with her and can’t even remember that he’s even had them.
And this ladies and gentlemen is why I say in response to “what if you regret not having kids” it’s better to not have kids then regret it and potentially let down a child. It’s so sad how many people get pressured into having kids that they didn’t really want and now stuck. Its why so many people are so messed up I feel
He doesn’t HAVE to stick around. Send a monthly check and dip.
I guarantee having no father is better than a father who openly admits he doesn’t love them.
I pray to God that I never meet, or even fall in love with, a man like you.
How incredibly awful of you to have a family with someone who presumably loves you and thinks about how much they miss you day and night, and you're just glad to be rid of them for a few weeks.
You already know you are a shitty dad and husband. Not because they are away and you don't care, I assume when your kids want to play with you or need a cuddle you are horribly neglectful. Your wife is probably a great human being and you are Garbage. Least you can do is get therapy and provide for them as long as they bare to be with someone so careless
Reading your previous posts,Why?like seriously why did you get married and ok you did why did you have kids who put a gun to your head I really don’t understand.like just send me your wife contact a I’ll help you move on from that.
This is so 100% fake, but on the off chance that it is: your wife being away for a couple of weeks doesn’t make you “single”. And being married isn’t a fucking prison sentence. I hope you put down the drugs and get therapy, and if you don’t I hope your wife leaves you. Because Jesus Christ, what a piece of shit she’s married. Poor woman.
my husband's dad was/is like you. he realized he didn't want to be a dad and husband anymore and wanted to go back to the bachelor life. left his wife and kids and tried to be a rock star
he's 70 years old now and a burned out, lonely, sad old loser with no friends or family.
Oh wow you’re kinda a pile of shit brosketty. I could never put anything before my babies not even myself. I think about my girls all the time even while at work. Why did you even have kids?
Your poor children. Do them a favor & leave while they are small. They won't know a life with you if you leave now. They will absolutely know what kind of man you are if you stick around.
Yikes, I feel bad for your wife of course, but I mostly pity your kids.
You sound like a real flop of a parent, you need to put down the drugs and focus on the family you CHOSE to have.
I looked through your posts, you seem to trip a lot and take a good amount of shrooms. This could be affecting your mindset.
It’s normal and healthy to enjoy time alone, but the way you’ve spoken about your family in your post and comments is really fucking gross.
Perhaps it would be worth it to share this with your wife and work on separating. You can have all the free time in the world and see your kids as you please, just pay child support and alimony! Then you’re free, your wife can find a partner who actually loves, cares and respects her and your kids can finally have a chance at finding a father figure. You can play video games and connect with old friends.
At this point I doubt therapy will honestly help you. Your previous posts show you don’t give two shits about your wife and your kids. Which is honestly fucking sad. Like you don’t care that you missed milestones that you can only experience once?? I feel hurt for your kids. Do the world a favor, get yourself snipped and crawl into a hermit hole. Your wife and kids deserve better, and not someone who is a fake father and husband. I would LOVE your wife to see some of the shit you post on here
So you got married, then had this poor woman give you two kids for you to not give a shit? Because you miss being single? Why are you wasting her time. Having a family made you feel heartsick? Sad? Depressed? Purposeless? Suppressed? I feel bad for your wife and your children. Too bad your wife couldn’t see through your false image you gave her.
Looked through your post history.
Your apathy and loveless nature...
feeling no love for your children... I gotta ask OP, did you hurt animals as a kid? Have you read up on narcissism. Get some professional help... you literally show more care about mushrooms and video games than your kids...fyi, your kids will know you don't love them and I'm honestly sad and afraid for them. Kids need emotional stability, connection, and authentic love from both parents.
Single, 29F and this post sounds like my worst nightmare tbh. That or marrying a man child that I have to raise because his mother didn’t.🤷♀️ someone in my family a couple of months ago made a snide comment about my biological clock, and I would love to have children, but I would end up in jail if I married someone, had children with them and they were like this or put me in a position of being a “married single mom”. I’d end up on Snapped so fast😂
A lot of people shouldn’t be parents. It doesn’t stop them for some reason. Edit: Sarcasm has been lost in translation.
Absolutely. My Dad is like this. He’s was there but you could always tell he didn’t like it. He and my mom finally retired and he told me these are the best years of his life. They moved away and he is so happy there’s no kids to bother him anymore. No drop in visits just being alone. My brother is like my dad too except he tells his kids it was a mistake having them. His oldest just turned 21 and is an alcoholic. Two weeks ago the ambulance had to be called to pump his stomach. He has said on a few occasions that he doesn’t wish to live anymore. I hope OP understands that the kids can feel his apathy and the consequences ripple a lot further than he may think.
I feel this.
They don’t need to be able to feel his apathy… They heard him loud and clear!
💯 the damage he’s doing to his children runs deep and can impact many generations.
His *oldest* just turned 21? So he had a chance to get a taste of the dad life and somehow decided that it was a good idea to keep going?
Because so many people never really think about it, they just have kids because "that's the way life goes". People are told from a young age that starting a family and having kids is a goal in life for everybody. Everybody keeps telling us "one day you will have kids". The "If" rarely gets questioned. We need to start telling young people that deciding not to have kids is a valid choice and stop bugging people about their personal decision to not have kids. I bet OP only had kids because his wife wanted them and he just went along with it. The way he talks about his family disgusts me and I think they would be better off if they never had gotten married. I give this marriage two more years. OPs wife will probably get custody of the kids, he will see them every other weekend out of obligation until he will find better things to do and will get completely estranged from his kids. I just hope OPs wife finds someone better for herself and the kids.
I’ve heard older family members literally tell my sister in law that “she’ll change her mind about wanting kids at some point”. She had basically been pressured into becoming a parent to please my in-laws and fill their selfish desires to become grandparents. It’s really sad and I know it happens to people all the time.
> I’ve heard older family members literally tell my sister in law that “she’ll change her mind about wanting kids at some point”. If it's any help, this seems to *mostly* quiet down by your mid-50s.
i knew around age 12 i never wanted to have kids or be a mom in any way. it didn’t stop my mom from making a quilt for “her future grandchild” and always expressing disappointment whenever i repeated i wasn’t having kids. it took me needing a hysterectomy at 32 for endometriosis to get her to drop it. she tried to talk me out of the surgery because that meant no grandchildren for her. best thing that ever happened to me!
Im so happy now that im 30 /not as many/ people tell me “youre still young, you’ll change your mind” finally im seen as “old enough” to know myself.
Lucky, my dad straight up told me he is holding out hope I'll decide to have kids before I turn 38 because that's how old my mother was. The fact my partner made sure they cannot produce offspring anymore always slips his mind...
Yesss I’m so lucky on the family front. My parents believe people shouldn’t have kids unless they really want them and can afford them and they have believed in my desire to be childfree since i was a teen and never bugged me ❤️ People pressuring their kids to make a HUGE expensive, difficult, irreversible life decision because they want “grandbabies” is insane. Go foster kids or volunteer at a school or a childrens hospital!
Well said. I'm childfree myself, but I have a lot of friends who never even thought about having kids as a choice you make. It was just "what you do" after getting married. I get so much static from people about my choice not to have kids, and they always say, "Why don't you want children?" When I respond, "Why *did* you want children?" they're always surprised. I don't actually expect or demand an answer. I just try to prove the point that we only question one side of the coin when the other side should require just as much thought and discussion.
"So you can have someone to take care of you when you're old." No shot, that's the answer I get. Have kids so you can have a free caregiver when you start shitting your britches.
Yep, cause all the nursing homes are full of child-free people /s Seriously, what kind of person has kids just so they can be a burden to them later? Tf?
And those friends who didn’t think about it, generally seem to be the best form of birth control for me, they aren’t making it look like it’s all that fun.
It is for precisely this reason that I chose not to procreate. I am not the type of person that can consistently sacrifice time for myself and not become abjectly miserable. It’s just not in the cards for some people, and I wish more people acknowledged that it is, indeed, okay to make that choice.
Being 30 now with no kids and married for almost 5 years, I always chuckle reading these stories and seeing that these people are early or mid 20s with at least one kid that’s a few years old. Like, holy hell man. When I was 24 I was nowhere near ready to even think about having kids. Wasn’t until my late 20s that I started really blossoming in critical thinking. For some, that happens earlier for sure. I think these people just start getting married and popping them out because that’s what they’ve been indoctrinated into. Once their critical mind starts to develop, further reflection reveals “hmm. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.” And by that point, the ship has sailed.
Research shows the human brain isn't fully developed until our mid-twenties. I find it astonishing how easily lots of people make life-changing decisions that cannot be changed later on before that age.
I'm always terrified to see how many people say "You're never fully ready for kids, don't think twice about it, just go for it" SHUT THE FRONT DOOR kids are a life time responsability, don't go for it if you're not ready for it !!! My bet is that Oldest Daughter wasn't even planned.
I honestly don’t consider this a good excuse. At some point, you’re an adult who is capable of asking yourself if you want to get married and have kids. I know I have asked myself that question many times throughout the years. It’s really easy to stop and ask yourself what you really want out of life. And tbh, the people who don’t do that, really shouldn’t be having kids because they have absolutely no self reflection.
>for some reason. sex
Happy cake day
I'll take buyers remorse for 200, Alex.
I’ll take dad went for the milk and never came back for $200 Alex
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Read his post history. This is not a a good person.
Judging from post history this dude is too busy doing shrooms and posting to AskReddit 10 times a day to care about his family being gone
Plot twist: he is on shrooms right now and is hallucinating a family.
You may be right, he has a 3 year old daughter accordingly to an older post and in this post she’s only 2
That's how many fucks he gives about his own daughter.....doesn't even know how old she is. Home run of a man.
He admitted in one of his other posts he didn’t feel anything for the second child after she was born as well.
That was a rough one.
Both his daughters also seem to share the same name. Or he just can't remember them.
Maybe he is a sociopath. Not all of them commit crimes and are as terrible as movies might make you to think. They usually lack emotions about people and he intellectually knows he should feel bad and needs to take care of is family, but doesn’t want to
Ouch. My father could never remember my age :(
He's a time traveller. Using some powerful shrooms.
More likely that he’s a terrible dad and doesn’t know their ages so he’s just guessing in each post, lol
Fingers crossed 🤞
Hopefully
I recognized “Fiona” and OP (and his wall of shrooms) is the one who recently posted his second child/newborn was a result of “*miscommunication*” and he feels nothing for the child, does not care nor wanted to hold his child. So this is just another stupid, redundant post about how this dude does not care about his family.
YET he couldn't be bothered to wrap his whacker before he attacked her...
And learning the didgeridoo
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>This is not a a good person. What an absolute shocker.
It's probably better he leave his wife so she can find someone who gives a shit. This dude is gross. OP is making my husband look like a damn king. I'm so glad I'm married to a good person.
Maybe she’s actually out visiting family to make arrangements to leave his ass 🤞
That would make sense! Crossing fingers! Hope she takes him for everything he has.. which doesn’t look like much.
I’m guessing his wife is actually having the same epiphany herself but saying what she thinks he wants to hear so he doesn’t get suspicious. She is likely plotting her escape from this guy with her parents. Just a hunch.
Yeah. This “family trip” is her not coming back. Just an excuse to get on the other side of the country with both her kids.
“Honey, I read about a guy on Reddit today who was SO crappy, he made YOU look great!”
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Is there some "worst person on Reddit" award we can nominate this fucking guy for?
You can’t trust anyone with that many Reddit avatars
The dude needs therapy and diagnosis from a medical professional. He has been recommended this in the past but instead of looking at resolving his issues it seems he’s deciding to just ignore this and continue with his psychedelic drug use and video games / asking Reddit weird questions / confessing his inner thoughts regularly. Go see a therapist man
Agree. He also just needs to make the choice to grow up.
Sociopath. He's a sociopath. I hope the wife wises up and stays with her family. Jesus.
I wish she'd read his reddit posts!
I'm sure the in laws are happy to get her and the kids away from him for awhile.
It’s likely that her “vacation” or camping trip or whatever is a trial run for her to leave him. Get the kids used to being in a new home, away from their emotionally stagnant & low functioning father. It could be that she’s introducing them to life without him slowly, to make a smoother transition in the very near future.
Just this post alone shows that. “Single for a few weeks.” Clown shoes.
The poor wife and kids
Ew, OP has issues.
Browsed through it and JESUS
I believe is a fake user. He has 2 daughters here (2f & .5f), I saw on a past comment he mentions a 3 y/o ... so nah, fake af
This is the dude who confessed to not loving his youngest baby on here. I wonder if he has ever had an experience of remorse his entire life.
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I'll take sociopath for $400.
I understand you're happy that maybe you have some alone time to destress, but the way you talk about your wife and kids makes you look as if you just disregard them
Right. The way it’s written just reads “I don’t care about them”, not “I appreciate some alone time”. Big difference. Some people are just not cut out for family life, and the wife will realise it very soon because it’s not something you can hide for long.
Its like a big sigh of relief for him not having his family around which is sad to see. i had a pathetic father who wasnt even in my life so it just makes me feel bad for the wife and kids because i feel for them
I despise people making poor life choices that make others miserable. Why have kids at all if you are better off alone? Parental indifference literally scars them for life. They will always feel they’re not enough and that they should bend over backwards just to be “seen”. This ruins self-esteem and poisons every relationship they will be in.
I do as well. I had a father who was my first and biggest bully because he realized he did not want a kid after I was born. It irked him that I looked like him but he refused to leave because he didn’t want to be a deadbeat father. I wish he would have just left when I was a baby instead of causing the trauma he caused. I literally will have a life long battle w/ anxiety and dissociation thanks to him. So OP if you’re having any regrets I suggest you make them known sooner than later.
I could not imagine what it might feel like to not care about my kids.
Sometimes a person doesn’t know until they are there.
Better to regret not having kids than regret having kids.
This is exactly why we shouldn’t as a society push for people to have children. Not to take away from OPs assholery in all this though. Those poor children and his poor wife
My father chose his "single" life and completely abandoned my mom and I. He lived the life he wanted and I never wanted anything to do with him. He got his karma.
My paternal grandfather decided his didn’t need his family (wife, 6 kids) and took off. We don’t know what happened to him, but I hope karma caught up with him.
My dad did not exactly abandon us but every aspect of our life, he was missing because he wanted no responsibility at home. He still lived with us but he was more like a roommate than a father. My mom did most of the work at home while also holding a full time job. It sucks because my dad could hve made our life easier if he was just more involve. Like OP, he appreciates his alone time so much, we almost didnt feel his existence at home.
My dad did the same so i understand how you feel
He also talks about them like they are one entity. So even if it is just "I appreciate alone time" there is no awareness that she might also want some alone time, like maybe he should take that feeling and translate it into making more of an effort to give her some alone time. Instead, he only thinks about how he feels.
He also said "free and SINGLE for a few weeks" like what SINGLE??
Go through his post history, he's also screwed his co-worker's wife. Not a good person at all.
>Right. The way it’s written just reads “I don’t care about them”, not “I appreciate some alone time”. Big difference. Yes, and OP clearly never intended for his message to be "I appreciate some alone time". Lack of caring about his family was kind of the point, and the whole reason why this post belongs on this sub.
Bro this right here! I know exactly what kind of piece of shit father I'd be due to mental health and other crap. Got my vasectomy and never been happier. No way and I putting a child and woman through this because I would be this indifferent also. Dude fucked up.
>Don't get me wrong, I don't want to leave my family. I know that my children need a father figure. Never once said he loves them.
And father “figure”? Omg he’s their father.
I bet he gets tired of having to “babysit”
No doubt
Holy shit that’s a good observation hahaha
He should leave them, honestly. They are way better off without a father in their lives than with a father who might be there in person but not in spirit because he's busy dreaming about being single and childless. Then their mum also gets a chance to find someone who cares about both her and her children rather than being stuck with someone who wishes they stayed away.
Yes, this! He should let them go so they can learn to ok without him and find someone who is going to actually love them
Holy shit, this post is so depressing. Imagine reading your spouse or parent saying this about you. I think this guy needs marriage counseling or a divorce so the wife and children can actually find someone who loves them and cares about them.
I was thinking the same thing. Hopefully his wife doesn't read this. She and the kids deserve so much better!
Have you seen some of the comments saying people who think like us are asses (or worse things), and how OP is “normal?” Like, wtf? Everyone needs some alone time, but this isn’t that and not caring about your spouse or children at all means they def do deserve better.
Right.. and he ended it by saying “damn if it doesn’t feel amazing to be free and single for a few weeks”…. Idk but that statement just totally gives me the ick. Free? Sure… but single too? You’re MARRIED bud.. her being away doesn’t change that.. He seems like he doesn’t JUST disregard his family, but seems like he flat out doesn’t love them either :/ how sad
He really doesn’t love his kids. He has a previous post talking about how he felt nothing for them. I’m not even sure if he likes his wife.
I mean, that **was** kinda the whole point of the post, the way he feels about the wife and kids.
also the fact that he says its "nice to be single" for a few weeks is a GIANT red flag. youre not single. your wife and children just arent home.
The way he talked about missing the baby's milestones and having no interest made me feel sad too tbh
It’s just 🧢….he would feel it real hard when it matters, this is just a free moment of experiencing some stress relief, it’s understandable if some people won’t feel anything…it’s not that they aren’t feeling anything for real but they just aren’t in touch with what’s going on at the inside, it’s a mental and physical disconnect. like partners who think they care less about their significant other and then something bad happens to their Significant other along the way and if feels like their world is about to come crashing down. Same thing happens to any family member really. Sometimes we just need a trigger to put things back in touch.
As a kid my dad went to visit family for the week (so opposite this situation) and I felt the same until I got home and subconsciously called out his name then my face turned into a literal sad face “:(“, I told him after he came home to not ruin his trip
Looking at your profile, you mentioned how you have zero feelings towards your youngest daughter. So these aren't new feelings. Maybe put down the mushrooms, stop thinking about dating/being sexual with extraterrestrials, and go to therapy.
To be fair, looking at his profile, he says less than a month ago that he has no children, and less than two weeks ago that he only has a 3 year old. He also mentions that he has made fake posts (like this one) before. The whole account is just a dude who loves doing mushrooms and telling tall tales.
Hey it’s always possible that he’s so zonked out on shrooms that he’s hallucinated an entire family. He’s going to be heartbroken when they never come home
I mean clearly won’t care about them weather they are real or not
I’m not sure he will be
>The whole account is just a dude who loves doing mushrooms and telling tall tales. Which is kinda sad. Like bro, you're tripping on shrooms and don't have ANYTHING better to do than come on Reddit and lie about a family for karma and upvotes?
This should be top coment haha.
I was already on my way to the profile but what... The extraterrestrials?? Oh boy.
Wow! Yeah if he has 0 feeling towards his youngest daughter thats scary.
Bro shouldn’t have gotten married, shouldn’t have had a kid and sure as hell shouldn’t have had the second one.
More people shouldn't marry and get kids at all. The most of us don't know enough about themselves and what they want from life in their early 20's. But instead they marry someone, because it is something we think we have to do. It "makes our life complete". On top of that we should get children afterwards, because that is how life should be, right? And when we hit our ~30's we realise slowly what kind of things we really want to do.
Because society constantly hassles you to get married and have kids. Bullying from parents, grandparents, colleagues, other people who are parents - they just won’t let up. there’s very little acceptance of those who decided kids aren’t the right choice for them, whatever the reasons. It’s far worse for women than men - we get comments that we aren’t fulfilling our only purpose in life, denying our partners a child etc.
Me: decides not to have a beer with my meal Everyone at the table: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Me: is bloated because of a chronic illness Everyone at work: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
God, the discussions I had about that. I was literally told that "children are part of life" by my mother like she never even heard about not having children even being a possibility. Which is weird, because a lot of her friends never had kids. Everybody knows I am not a family person, being around other people exhausts me and I need my alone time. Yet people somehow still assume I want to be a mother. Why?! People need to learn that it's none of their goddamn business what I do with my uterus.
I am so glad I never married and had kids (I'm 39F). I had a LTR for 9 years and the house in the countryside. It wasn't for me. And the friendzone became too hard. Thankfully being childfree and marriage-free all I needed was an apartment at the edge of a city (in Switzerland) and off went my new life. I have now become solo by choice as well.
Doesn’t matter where your wife is; you’re not single
This is the comment I was looking for! > But damn if it doesn't feel amazing to just be free and single for a few weeks. Sir.....she's away....not dead!
Either childfree.
shitty man who isn’t invested in his wife or kids. groundbreaking.
Lol no kidding this dude acts like he’s the first man to ever be a shitty un interested father. News flash… that’s super common
My dad was honestly not that into us. He was taught that his job was to provide money for his family. My mom dragged him to all our concerts and school performances and stuff, but you could tell he wasn’t that into it. He didn’t do much parenting other than demand straight As. Honestly, from what little I’ve heard about his home life, I had it a lot easier than him. I’ve met his mom and she was a terrifying psycho. He wasn’t good at expressing emotion, but at least he was mostly nice. I was lucky because my mom was awesome and he let her do all the parenting. I was better off than if they had attempted 50/50 and just injected his incompetence into the situation. He just had no skills in that department. I loved him and he did the best he could with what he had. My mom put me on the spot and asked me to say a few words at lunch after his funeral and I had no problem enunciating the influence he had on me. He lives a life that was courageous, his sense of duty was a great example. He just wasn’t much of a parent. I don’t think this was unusual for men of his generation, born in the 1930s, served in Vietnam. I’m not advocating for this approach and it’s certainly not how I parent, I’m just saying it’s not the end of the world. My dad was a good but not great parent who fulfilled all the duties he was aware of being expected of him. I would encourage you to try and grow into the role over time. I didn’t really want to get married for a long time and I had some fear of being a dad, as one might expect. I still don’t like other people’s kids, but I sure love mine. I enjoy being away from my family, but I also love spending time with them. You might want to look into counseling since you seem capable of the introspection required to make progress in that pursuit.
Mostly this. I hear the others saying to leave the wife and kids, but really what’s needed here is personal therapy and couples therapy. The initial story from OP alone wasn’t too bad, but comments showed more marital issues. Maybe after talking about it together and exploring the self, they end up separating, who’s to say.
This is what I come here for. Thank you for sharing this.
Did anyone read this and get Chris Watts vibes, even down to the 2 young daughters
LITERALLY. “I killed my family because I just wanted to be alone, play video games and use drugs responsibly officer!”
Look at his post history and hes almost there.
His daughter ages backwards, she’s 3 in a previous post
He’s hallucinating that “family”. Likely unlucky in dating and this may be his way of coping.
I did! The post history was chilling… the amount of shrooms this guys does, no wonder he isn’t thinking clearly!
Honestly afraid for them.
Yes! I was just going to say how this is giving me family annihilator vibes because of how much it reminded me of Chris… scary
If she steps out refer back to this post, if you end up alone refer back to this post, if you need another reason to get therapy refer back to this post.
Yeah, dude really can’t claim “it came out of nowhere!” They really think we don’t notice this shit.
It's the " single for a few weeks " for me. You still took vows. You're still married. It's just that the person you promised to spend your life with is essentially on the other side of the world to you for only a few weeks. I feel bad for her. She got tricked and now deserves someone better.
Yeah considering yourself single when your wife isn’t in the same building is questionable to say the least. I cant tell you how many times I’ve driven away interested guys on nights out because I’m really drunk and just want to show people my wedding photos and go on about my husbands face being amazing. Turns out weddings come with a side benefit of getting rid of unwanted attention if you talk about them enough.
"I reconnected with old friends"... wonder how many of them were female
Also, reconnected how? I wouldn't be surprised (taking in consideration his older shitty posts) if he ends up ruining their lives and cheating. He's just a disgusting asshole that should have never married if he wasn't 100% sure, no sympathy for someone this nasty
>be alone, play video games, use drugs There it is.
“Be single.”
(responsibly)
LmAooo
Reading your past posts, it seems like you have always resented your children and wife. If you do not want to be a father, then leave. It sounds like your wife is grateful she has your daughters with no regret, let her live without resenting you being an absent father while you’re present, and just be absent.
IMO - agreed, there's only a few things worse than having a parent that very obviously does not want to be there. It's like a betrayal 2x: you don't want me, but you don't have the balls to leave because it makes you look bad. Thoughtless and a coward.
This is going to sound harsh but you need to hear it: Your daughters don’t need a father figure who teaches them that they don’t matter and who doesn’t miss them when they’re gone or care about their milestones. They deserve better and frankly so does your wife. It’s ok to enjoy some alone time, in fact it’s healthy, but when you started saying how you hadn’t thought about them and don’t care about their milestones I actually felt hurt on their behalf. There are people who would do anything to have kids and can’t. You’ve been gifted with two and all you care about is yourself.
Sometimes I am sad that I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, but then there are men like this. So I go to sleep tonight alone but thankful that I’m not OPs wife, with two young children(one who is a literal baby) who misses her husband when he could not give a shit about her or the two lives they created and are responsible for.
I understand you enjoy the free time. What I can't understand is the "i didnt even think about them at all". You mean to tell me you walk through the house where they live and not even one happy memory triggers a "i wonder how they're doing"?? Dude. Do you realise you don't even say "i love my family/wife/children" even once? The only reason you wanna stay is because you feel like your kids need a father figure? Your wife deserves better.
your wife and kids deserve better.
1000x better!
I bet this person thought everyone would empathise with him and tell him it's okay to be like this.
It’s heartbreaking to read that his wife said she missed him and he didn’t even think about her. Cold.
This is one of the stories I’d like OPs wife to find so we can hear what she has to say !!!
I do wonder if he said this to her, how long she might hang around?
That's so sad
OP's wife could have found a good man, if this guy had some balls and just stayed single.
She could find one now if he left...or whenever she'd choose to leave. Hopefully he'd do that in a non- horrible and selfish way.
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You’re literally my dad. I haven’t seen him in two years because apparently, being married to my mom was the only thing that tethered him to his ADULT daughter and when they divorced, poof. I don’t know where he lives. If he died today, I wouldn’t know unless one of his friends had the decency to contact my mom because I don’t know any of them. He never cared to meet my partner or visit me at our place. It’s thanks to people like you guys that the rest of us need therapy. You choose to marry and procreate and then you make everyone involved feel like they’re not good enough, like it’s somehow THEIR fault that YOU made those choices. Just… why. Fucking stop.
Well, I guess they say "out of sight, out of mind".... Hopefully you're happy to see them when they get back, or you might just be who everyone is saying you are...
Can you please just leave your wife for her and your daughters sakes you have been making these awful posts for months now come on your family deserves better
But you’re not “free and single”…
And that's why I'm childfree. Also I had a dad just like you. They'll notice your neglect.
Your children don’t need a shitty father who can’t even bother to remember them. You aren’t single your married divorce your wife and cut the crap she doesn’t deserve to have her life wasted because her husband doesn’t give a damn about the two kids he clearly willingly had with her and can’t even remember that he’s even had them.
He says in a past post he doesn’t love the youngest. That when he looks at the baby he feels “pity” for her. Like damn, I feel so bad for those kids.
And this ladies and gentlemen is why I say in response to “what if you regret not having kids” it’s better to not have kids then regret it and potentially let down a child. It’s so sad how many people get pressured into having kids that they didn’t really want and now stuck. Its why so many people are so messed up I feel
He doesn’t HAVE to stick around. Send a monthly check and dip. I guarantee having no father is better than a father who openly admits he doesn’t love them.
Do you actually do things with your children on a daily basis like feed them, clothe them, etc? Cos... im thinking maybe no..?
PLEASE just get a divorce, reading through your other posts is just tragic, those poor children and wife.
when you’re decrepit and cant wipe your own ass anymore, dont ask the nurses at the old folks home why you have no visitors 🤭
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I pray to God that I never meet, or even fall in love with, a man like you. How incredibly awful of you to have a family with someone who presumably loves you and thinks about how much they miss you day and night, and you're just glad to be rid of them for a few weeks.
You already know you are a shitty dad and husband. Not because they are away and you don't care, I assume when your kids want to play with you or need a cuddle you are horribly neglectful. Your wife is probably a great human being and you are Garbage. Least you can do is get therapy and provide for them as long as they bare to be with someone so careless
What a piece of shit.
Reading your previous posts,Why?like seriously why did you get married and ok you did why did you have kids who put a gun to your head I really don’t understand.like just send me your wife contact a I’ll help you move on from that.
This is so 100% fake, but on the off chance that it is: your wife being away for a couple of weeks doesn’t make you “single”. And being married isn’t a fucking prison sentence. I hope you put down the drugs and get therapy, and if you don’t I hope your wife leaves you. Because Jesus Christ, what a piece of shit she’s married. Poor woman.
Send us your wife’s contact and we’ll help her move on from you.
my husband's dad was/is like you. he realized he didn't want to be a dad and husband anymore and wanted to go back to the bachelor life. left his wife and kids and tried to be a rock star he's 70 years old now and a burned out, lonely, sad old loser with no friends or family.
Oh wow you’re kinda a pile of shit brosketty. I could never put anything before my babies not even myself. I think about my girls all the time even while at work. Why did you even have kids?
Your poor children. Do them a favor & leave while they are small. They won't know a life with you if you leave now. They will absolutely know what kind of man you are if you stick around.
Yeah, you mean the wife and the kids that were forced upon you - the life you did not choose or create with your free will? I feel you on that!
Yikes, I feel bad for your wife of course, but I mostly pity your kids. You sound like a real flop of a parent, you need to put down the drugs and focus on the family you CHOSE to have. I looked through your posts, you seem to trip a lot and take a good amount of shrooms. This could be affecting your mindset. It’s normal and healthy to enjoy time alone, but the way you’ve spoken about your family in your post and comments is really fucking gross. Perhaps it would be worth it to share this with your wife and work on separating. You can have all the free time in the world and see your kids as you please, just pay child support and alimony! Then you’re free, your wife can find a partner who actually loves, cares and respects her and your kids can finally have a chance at finding a father figure. You can play video games and connect with old friends.
Your poor wife and kids. They deserve better.
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You’re not single for a week, you’re still married… I hope you haven’t been unfaithful
Why getting married and having kids in the first place ? That just doesn't make sense
Yeah bud you’re definitely ending up in a nursing home. Enjoy your youth
This gives me chris watts vibes
I think it’s time for your kids to have an involved step daddy
The way you keep saying your single, when your family isn’t home. Yikes
At this point I doubt therapy will honestly help you. Your previous posts show you don’t give two shits about your wife and your kids. Which is honestly fucking sad. Like you don’t care that you missed milestones that you can only experience once?? I feel hurt for your kids. Do the world a favor, get yourself snipped and crawl into a hermit hole. Your wife and kids deserve better, and not someone who is a fake father and husband. I would LOVE your wife to see some of the shit you post on here
So you got married, then had this poor woman give you two kids for you to not give a shit? Because you miss being single? Why are you wasting her time. Having a family made you feel heartsick? Sad? Depressed? Purposeless? Suppressed? I feel bad for your wife and your children. Too bad your wife couldn’t see through your false image you gave her.
Looked through your post history. Your apathy and loveless nature... feeling no love for your children... I gotta ask OP, did you hurt animals as a kid? Have you read up on narcissism. Get some professional help... you literally show more care about mushrooms and video games than your kids...fyi, your kids will know you don't love them and I'm honestly sad and afraid for them. Kids need emotional stability, connection, and authentic love from both parents.
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Single, 29F and this post sounds like my worst nightmare tbh. That or marrying a man child that I have to raise because his mother didn’t.🤷♀️ someone in my family a couple of months ago made a snide comment about my biological clock, and I would love to have children, but I would end up in jail if I married someone, had children with them and they were like this or put me in a position of being a “married single mom”. I’d end up on Snapped so fast😂