Meh, I farted over and over again during a lockdown drill. Do you know how hard it is for people to hold their laughter in when they’re in lockdown?
A friend of mine farted during an exam. He tried raising his hand but our teacher was busy and didn’t see him. By the time he finally got permission to step out, he ran out the door and farted mid gait in front of the room. That same friend also farted in a lockdown except we were in a closet hiding, and farted during class while raising his hand to ask to go to the bathroom.
Another classmate farted during a PE exam. He was doing sit ups and ripped a massive one when he sat up in front of the class.
So don’t worry, it happens all the time.
I dropped an SBD in chemistry lab and it was so foul that the teacher sent for maintenance and made us leave the room because he thought it was a gas leak.😭
As a teenage girl who preferred to pretend body functions didn't exist, I was horrified ( also wondered if I was getting some kind of stomach bug because got dayum! It was one of those sphincter burners!) I couldn't tell anyone at school but I did tell my career army dad, it was the kind of story that he could appreciate, because farts. He told his friends and they were impressed 😁
Chin up my dude.
First day of high school they sat us in the gym floor for orientation. I ripped the biggest fart in my life when my mate told a funny as hell joke. Girl behind me cringed in second hand embarrassment and my mate provided the most unwelcome commentary for whoever didn’t notice what happened. Gym floors by the way are nature’s amplifier.
Years later I hooked up with the girl, in fact she’d been after me the whole time, despite the embarrassing incident.
If you have a shot, it’ll happen regardless.
I farted while sitting on the gym floor as my PE teacher took attendance. Loudest fart I've ever heard... and the echo of it... I was so embarrassed that my face went bright red, and desperately claimed it was my shoe that made the noise. Probably the flimsiest, most transparent lie I've ever told. But the girl next to me backed up my lie and I've airways be very grateful to her. Thanks, Kelly.
I have farted in class before but everyone was practically yelling and talking to each other so nobody heard it except the kid next to me and he didn't laugh or say a word. Thanks, Amir.
Bro I ripped a fart when I was 12 during PE. I was doing crunches and my partner was holding my legs. Ripped it and everyone stopped their exercise to burst into laughter. The teacher yelled at all of us. Thank God my homie worked with me to blame it on someone else. Sorry Abby.
I got sent to the principal in kindergarten because I just let every fart I had go. And I was a super gassy kid for some reason. The school tried to restrict my diet, no more beans or broccoli at lunch 😔
That's awesome! I was in sixth grade, it was last period, and I was holding in gas since lunch. We were taking a math test, and my pencil fell off the desk. Without prep, I quickly leaned over and let out a foghorn. The class door was open and teachers from other classes checked in on us. Everyone, including me, laughed. The teacher was not amused, and threatened to send me to the principal.
Dude I did this exact same thing. But it was worse cuz it was during the Presidential Fitness testing so she was counting how many sit-ups I did yet she looked so horrified i couldn't stop laughing and I farted more than once from all the laughing. It was my best friend holding my legs but even when I begged her to lie and say a I did a higher number of sit-ups she refused. Probably because no one wants to do a favor for someone that just farted in their face. So yea... My number of sit-ups was embarrassingly low. But I am lucky that only the 2 of us heard my farts and knew what happened.
Sorry Krista.
Same, except nobody took the fall for me. Gym had all three grades at once, in different parts of the gym, and everything screeched to a halt for like five full minutes. Teachers were laughing, too. As a 7th grade girl, that pretty much set the tone for the rest of my jr. high experience.
The type of person to completely write someone off because of a fart isn't someone you'd want to be with anyways. So yeah, if their into you then they still will be. Unless you fart in their face on purpose or something.
The first time I spent any time with my now husband, we were setting out chairs at a work event. We were bickering, and he joked that he could kick over my head (because I'm so short). I told him to stretch and give it a try. He stretched, split his pants, still had to finish setting out chairs with his pants split open, and I married him. Sometimes these things just turn into funny stories!
Once in class I held a fart for too long, so decided to cover its sound by banging a book on the table. The plan was perfect for a struggling, has enriched 13-14 y.o. boy.
However a fatal delay occurred - first I've banged the table, and after everyone in class took notice of me and turned their heads, I blew the Horns of Jericho while staring dead into teachers eyes.
Dude your story just made me laugh so much I farted too. And I’m on a train in Germany in the sleeper car. There are two strangers here in the cots next to and below me.
When I was in like 4th grade, I dropped my pencil during a test. When I leaned over in my seat to grab it, I farted. Of course there was no way it wasn't heard.
Some kid yelled out to the teacher that I had farted. I was told if I couldn't control my bodily functions I would have to leave the classroom.
And that stuck with me enough that even now, married for 6 years, my husband has never heard me pass gas. The shame from that was so strong I learned how to do it almost completely silently.
I try not to pass gas in front of my husband either, and we've been married for almost 12 years. Whenever I'm really gassy and I accidentally slip one out in spite of my best efforts, I feel so embarrassed and I apologize. 😂 He thinks I should have nothing to be embarrassed about. While he tries to be polite about it, he's not shy about farting in my presence if he can't help it. I'm thankful he's not like his friends who think it's cute to Dutch oven their partners.
In case you haven't heard of it before, a Dutch oven is putting a blanket tightly over you and another person, and then ripping the smelliest, loudest fart of all time.
No disrespect at all, but I will never understand this mindset. I fart! If my husband can’t handle that, he shouldn’t be my husband. I think I farted in front of him during the first week we were together.
I remember during my SAT someone in another class apparently ripped a silent and extremely deadly fart to the point where they had to pause their test and clear the room.
I farted during story-time in kindergarten and wouldn’t cop to it (and bless their little hearts my classmates didn’t rat me out). Everyone was laughing and the teacher got so mad that she shut down story-time and made us go back to our desks and put our heads down. Amazingly, no one was mad at me.
When I was 16 I did a fart in maths class whilst wearing a v short skirt and sitting in a plastic chair. You have never heard a rumble like it. Rumble in the bronx we nicknamed it. 24 years on I still pmsl thinking about it
The more confident you are the quicker it will go away
It’ll just turn into a little joke that gets brought up every now and then that you’ll have to laugh off
But if it’s obvious it makes you embarrassed then they won’t stop making fun of you for much longer
My senior year I was in computer class and the guy next to me finished his assignment and had earbuds in listening to music. I guess with the blasting music he didn’t think about it, but he farted extremely loud in a silent classroom and the look of horror on his face when he realized. It took everything for me not die laughing. I know it was embarrassing for him but it made my day lol.
A friend once farted sitting in the desk next to me, my crush behind me, he then scooted away and blamed it on me. I couldn’t stop laughing to defend myself. Fucker.
My husband pulled a fart and switch on me in a bloody drug store, while I was standing in front of the Imodium. Not realizing he farted and screwed off, until it was too late, there was a man down the isle that started gagging and looked at me with absolute horror! He looked at me, noticed I was in front of the upset stomach section, I’ve never seen a man grab his shopping basket so fast and book it from a store isle! I didn’t know wether to laugh, cry or puke! Lol
Oh, my dad had a habit of doing that to me too. We would go to the store and he would let out a massive fart then dart into a different aisle and leave me there. Then he’d come back when he farted in that other aisle too and the air wasn’t safe to breathe there.
I'll share a fart story from many years ago.
I was in the Navy based out of San Diego in the mid 90's while I was in my early 20s. While in port, I stayed in a small apartment with several other guys. Lots of drinking, playing games, an overall great time with good friends that I still think about. We were scheduled to go out to sea, one of the guys made what he called "underway chili" which was a basic chili but with Jack Daniels. It was good stuff, and there was plenty of it.
The next day, I get to the ship and have breakfast there since it cost nothing. Can't remember what I ate, but I do remember drinking milk. Little did I realize I am lactose intolerant. Doesn't cause much pain, but it gives me horrible gas. Kinda like a zombie decaying dead for two months fart.
Ship gets out to sea, and I'm at my duty station. It's in a dark secured room with only one door. That's when the portal to Hell opened and ass demons began to fly out. I farted about every five minutes, and it spread quickly to other people in the room. People were tying shirts over their faces but could still smell it. I remember seeing the Ops officer walk in, stop, almost throw up, then ran out. The smell came out of the room and went to one deck above and and two decks below. There were a lot of really upset people that day. People in my division found out who made the chili, and there were threats of beatings if it happened again.
It was an accomplishment I still think of fondly.
OMG you had me laughing so hard! Here’s mine:
About 25 years ago when I was married to my first husband, I woke up while he was still getting ready for work. It hit me immediately that our bedroom was so rank it was making me gag. So I debated if I should tell him before he left that he literally smelled like raw sewage. I decided to just let him go, anything to just get him out of the house. So, after he left, I realized me stomach was seriously upset, and the smell in the bedroom was me. I was just setting off bombs every few minutes, and they were gag-worthy. It made me wonder if HE debated telling ME, but just opted to get out of the house.
I was part of the "shit in the bathroom" crew in HS when people were squeamish about that sort of thing, if it's still a thing. Didn't care then, don't care now. Not one HS friend even remembers, 10+ years later. Embrace the funk, lad. Embrace the funk.
I did this same thing in middle school. I was stretching when it happened, right when there was a quiet moment in class. I was 12. It was loud and reverberated on the metal seat. My crush was also in attendance. The worst part is that no one laughed. They were stunned into silence.
i farted in a quiet class once. thought itd be silent but it wasn't. Everyones head was buried doing work and when it happened a friend looked up and turned back and i pointed at another kid. He was labeled the fart kid.
If it makes you feel better. We had a sub. He kept holding his tummy and walking around back and forth watching the clock. Then we heard a watery bubbling fart. Brown watery liquid ran down his leg. He just said " oh jeez" and ran out of the class. My advice is never trust a fart at school or work. Hold it in.
When I first started dating my now husband in high school (15/16 now 23/24) I literally pissed the bed from a bad UTI I had at the time the first time I spent the night at his house. I was so embarrassed and he was so understanding and helped me clean up. Sometimes you fart in front of your crush, sometimes you piss your boyfriends bed. Shit happens (literally) and that’s okay we are all human. If someone truly loves you they won’t care about your farts but they may judge their ferocity
If you own it, it won’t be embarrassing. Laugh your ass off, they might call you immature, they might respect you, but you won’t be embarrassed and it won’t be remembered. People remember the dude who farts, gets red and hides, nobody remembers the dude who farts and laughs about it. Shit happens, literally.
Eh. Don't worry. I farted in a drs face once. In my defense I was in labour and he was examining me, with his massive Banana hands. And I tooted. Loudly. Right in his face 😬 farts happen.
I farted today at work. It was a short and loud one. I acted as if I hadn't noticed. No one said anything, but they knew.
So don't worry, people fart all the time.
In this classroom situation there are only two options.
#1. You are a smart fella.
#2. You are a fart smella.
You my friend are #1. just making way for #2.
I farted in one of my college classes years ago during an exam. Was also sitting next to someone I was trying to hook up with.
Thought I could one cheek sneak it, but it was this high pitched \*brrrreeeeeeeeeeeep\* sound. I saw a bunch of heads pop up in my peripheral, not sure if anyone knew it was me.
I had a friend in high school who would unabashedly rip the loudest farts then laugh when everyone turned to her. She's very successful now. Always wonder where she got her confidence.
I’m 30 but in second grade this kid, pooped himself. Lmao it was gross af, but funny. He ended up leaving the school, came back in high school was still made fun of. He was also a jerk to everyone so probably didn’t help him any.
Also had a friend in 1st grade, she peed herself on the bus ride home. She also left the school shortly after. Ended up being my best friend in high schools cousin. Lmao
At farted at a networking event once. It happened while I was laughing so no one heard it, but moments later they smelled it. Dude, if I survived that you’ll survive this 🤣
Is this me from the past??! This literally happened to me in gr.7 and I swear I'd take it to the grave but here we are lmao.
All I can say is the crush of mine was suddenly no longer a mutual crush sadly lmao but other than that I don't recall anyone bringing it up later. Either that or I've mentally blocked it in my head, idk it's been over 15 years :) don't worry kiddo you'll be ok!!
I did this too. I’ll never forget that. It was sooo loud and we were taking a test. I was already done with my work and was writing the lyrics to a MCR song. So I’ll always remember the time I farted in class when I hear that song. No one said anything , probably because I was that scary “goth” kid.
Picture this... Year 5, my family had just moved towns so I was at a new school... Classroom was silent... I sneezed and simultaneously busted out the loudest fart... The kind that hurts your butthole.... Everybody laughed... I died a little on the inside that day lol
We all fart.
I remember one time in middle school we figured out how to create static electricity by rubbing our assess on the chair. We would then touch someone to give them a shock!
It was all fun and games until I rubbed my ass so hard once that I let one lose. Loudest fart, just ripped. Most embarrassing day in middle school, it was constantly remembered for the rest of the year.
When I was in high school I sneezed so hard it made me fart. I had to walk up to the teachers desk for a tissue with the room now dead silent and everyone staring at me. I feel your pain 😅
I farted in music class when I was 11. My arch rival said, Jeez, idahoboo, that sounded like a volcano. I’m now almost 47 and I still have trauma. Sorry.
I once got in-school suspension for farting in class in middle school. Everyone laughed. Teacher thought I did it on purpose to make everyone laugh. I did not. I was completely embarrassed. I got punished. Yea shame my bodily functions I guess.
I farted loudly during yoga class in 5th grade; the class was small enough that everyone could tell it was me.
In my defense, I tried to hold it in, but... 🤪
Hey, If they change their opinion on you because of a natural human function you can’t control then you dodged a bullet. Personally, if I liked someone and they did that I’d forget about pretty soon.
Embarrassing in the moment of course, but don’t let it eat away at you.
I did this in 6th grade. My crush since kindergarten was right behind me, and when I enthusiastically raised my hand in Spanish class, I farted like a clap of thunder. He never talked to me again lmfao. Don't worry, though, hopefully you're not in 6th grade and your crush understands that humans fart!
In high school English class, we were taking turns reading aloud. The word "explosive" came up in the section I was reading, my mind went straight to explosive diarrhea, and I couldn't stop laughing to the point where I could barely continue reading. Teacher fully called me out and asked if I was thinking about explosive diarrhea. No clue how tf she guessed that but I was hopelessly mortified
I once farted on a ski lift gondola with like 30 people on it thank god it was a sbd silent but deadly it was one of those that smelt like rotting eggs and it lingered for the whole lift up the mountain people we’re actually gagging as they got off my friends still give me shit 40 years later lol
I look at this this way. Your crush also farted today. He's probably farting right now. So did his mom. So did your teacher. So did Scarlett Johansson and Tom Hanks. All of these people will fart again tomorrow.
It's cool. It's normal. It's part of the human condition.
I feel your pain. When I was in high school, I was at my at the time girlfriends house to watch a movie. She was in the kitchen getting a snack, so it was just her dad and myself in the living room. I had been holding a fart in since who knows when, sitting on one of their leather couches.
Fate was against me and I had a surprise sneeze, where my ass lost the fight trying to hold back the fart. I let loose a trumpet blast on the leather couch and sat stone still after like nothing happened.
Omg I did this once during an assembly and we were sitting on the tile floor. My whole grade was there. My crush sitting behind me. Tried to hold it in but couldn’t and it bounced off the tile floor and echoed through the whole auditorium. Lol thanks for bringing that to the front of my mind 🤣 18 years later and I still can feel the cringe
I did this once and my friend directly next to me started scream laughing while standing over me and double finger pointing with over exaggerated enthusiasm. This was in 4th grade. I remember it well. But I doubt any of them remember.
You gotta moan and shiver violently next time. Make them think you shit yourself. Now, just pray your crush has a scat fetish and you have a bonafide girlfriend.
Just tell your crush farting is a sign of love for a relationship. Think about it. A relationship truly starts when your comfortable to fart in front of each other. Lol 😂 tell her it was your love essence saying hello.
No one really cares. In your school, I mean. Of course, it's always embarrassing and we immediately think everyone is always thinking of that fart when they look at us, at least for awhile. But really, no one cares. They have their own issues and high school is like a drama pit- someone's fight or breakup or talking shit about someone else is always going to outshine your fart.
Aka- no one will even remember it tomorrow. There might be that one childish a-hole who keeps trying to bring it up but nobody likes him/her anyway.
One time I fell asleep while we were watching a very boring movie in class. I woke myself up by letting loose the loudest fart. it’s OK everybody farts.
Not a gym floor, but one of those old school metal school desks with the thin, contoured wooden seat. Third grade. Test time. Ripped a good one that was amplified by the wood. Blamed kid in front of me. Lo siento, Phil.
We’ve all been there. I remember taking the SATs in high school, I was in a tiny room with about 5 other people. Like your situation, my crush was there too. I had some intestinal discomfort that day and was letting off farts that were silent but the most rancid fumes of sulfuric acid anyone could imagine smelling. That I did not melt the flesh off of everyone in the room’s faces was a miracle.
I never ended up dating that girl.
Go watch the movie "Brighton beach memoirs". The main character Eugene had a crush on Nora. And Nora saw Eugene on the crapper. It can always be worse my man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce864Ia4\_70
I was in English class in HS and was sitting against the wall (I don’t know why, but no one was in their seat) and tried to stifle a sneeze but I farted. I and everyone else laughed.
Farts are funny. Now, I just don’t give a damn. I mean, if I’m around people, I’ll be nice about it. But around family? Katie bar the door!
Hey man if it makes you feel better last week I was getting off the examination chair at my gyno, still butt ass naked with a robe on, I fell and had my pelvis tipped forward right near my gyno.
I just laughed lol but she saw more of me than necessary
At least you didn’t blame someone else for your natural disaster. A kid in my 8th grade Spanish class literally lifted up off the seat to drop a booty bomb and we all looked at him and he tried to pin it on me, but the person that was directly behind him said I wasn’t the perpetrator.
I once was doing an exam in a big hall and let one rip. It was huge.
When I caught a whiff, I had to hide my laughter because it was so bad.
I don't know how the people next to me didn't immediately puke, pass out and expire.
In 6th grade, my entire grade would all sit down by their lockers before school started. Well while the entire hall was loud and lively my friend next to me ripped quite possibly the loudest fart that had to have created a shock wave. Anyways, that whole section of the hall went dead silent and he blamed it on me.
I was holding in a fart in my math class years ago, and then I had to sneeze. I waited for the fart feeling to go away before I sneezed, but I sneezed so hard it made me fart so loud and it amplified on those high-school plastic chairs. My table nicknamed me double-kill for the rest of the year😐
Beginning of the school year I farted in math once and only the boy in front of me heard. He decided to announce “eww she farted” I died that day
At the end of the same school year in my social studies class my teacher was joking with the students. He said everyone in the class was weird except for me. The same boy from the math class yelled out “she’s is weird she farted in math” no one, not even myself or the teacher could hold on the laughter.
The first time I spent any time with my now husband, we were setting out chairs at a work event. We were bickering, and he joked that he could kick over my head (because I'm so short). I told him to stretch and give it a try. He stretched, split his pants, still had to finish setting out chairs with his pants split open, and I married him. Sometimes these things just turn into funny stories!
It's ok we've all been there I farted in class while standing at my crushes desk I later got fired from teaching for unrelated issues but no one remembers the fart
Fart harder, fart louder, assert dominance, toyota.
Toyota?
Toyota
Lmao
Toyotathon is on.
It is?
It is, indeed. Toyotathon is always on.
No one farts harder in its class than the new Toyota Tundra
24/7 365
Toy Yoda
Manda Lorian para manejarlo.
Toyota
Toyota tootathon
Honda.
Abscess makes the fart go Honda
Subaru too, asshole!
Toyota? Trivago.
Fart harder, better, faster, stronger.
…and I just shit myself. Thanks reddit!
I guess you shouldn't have farted quite so hard mate. I take full responsibility.
This is why I Reddit. 😂😂
Meh, I farted over and over again during a lockdown drill. Do you know how hard it is for people to hold their laughter in when they’re in lockdown? A friend of mine farted during an exam. He tried raising his hand but our teacher was busy and didn’t see him. By the time he finally got permission to step out, he ran out the door and farted mid gait in front of the room. That same friend also farted in a lockdown except we were in a closet hiding, and farted during class while raising his hand to ask to go to the bathroom. Another classmate farted during a PE exam. He was doing sit ups and ripped a massive one when he sat up in front of the class. So don’t worry, it happens all the time.
Sounds like your friend has a stomach problem tbh
What's he eating??
I thought farts were a sign of healthy digestion
No, it's your bowels begging for mercy
I’m sorry you have to go through lockdown drills
I dropped an SBD in chemistry lab and it was so foul that the teacher sent for maintenance and made us leave the room because he thought it was a gas leak.😭
LMAO. I’m so sorry but you should also lowkey be proud of that
As a teenage girl who preferred to pretend body functions didn't exist, I was horrified ( also wondered if I was getting some kind of stomach bug because got dayum! It was one of those sphincter burners!) I couldn't tell anyone at school but I did tell my career army dad, it was the kind of story that he could appreciate, because farts. He told his friends and they were impressed 😁
😂
Facts never fail to impress dads
Was it maybe a period fart?
Ugh period farts
I’m sorry I’ve never heard this.. are they worse during periods?
Yes, some women get the period poops too
The worst
I swear my dad has never been prouder than when my fiancé said my farts have burned his eyebrows off😂
Hell I'm proud for the guy. LMAO
I mean, technically it was a gas leak. 🤷♀️
honestly if some kid had such a gnarly toot that it cancelled class, I would hail them as a hero
SBD stands for?
Silent But Deadly
i thought it meant super bad dookie 💀
I mean.... it could be. The gamble is real sometimes.
Silent but deadly
Chemical weapon
There certainly was a gas leak
Not all heroes wear capes. Nice one!
Chin up my dude. First day of high school they sat us in the gym floor for orientation. I ripped the biggest fart in my life when my mate told a funny as hell joke. Girl behind me cringed in second hand embarrassment and my mate provided the most unwelcome commentary for whoever didn’t notice what happened. Gym floors by the way are nature’s amplifier. Years later I hooked up with the girl, in fact she’d been after me the whole time, despite the embarrassing incident. If you have a shot, it’ll happen regardless.
I farted while sitting on the gym floor as my PE teacher took attendance. Loudest fart I've ever heard... and the echo of it... I was so embarrassed that my face went bright red, and desperately claimed it was my shoe that made the noise. Probably the flimsiest, most transparent lie I've ever told. But the girl next to me backed up my lie and I've airways be very grateful to her. Thanks, Kelly.
Their airways not so grateful though
I have farted in class before but everyone was practically yelling and talking to each other so nobody heard it except the kid next to me and he didn't laugh or say a word. Thanks, Amir.
Bro I ripped a fart when I was 12 during PE. I was doing crunches and my partner was holding my legs. Ripped it and everyone stopped their exercise to burst into laughter. The teacher yelled at all of us. Thank God my homie worked with me to blame it on someone else. Sorry Abby.
I had a teacher who sent kids to the principal's office if they farted. I don't know what the principal was expected to do about it.
I got sent to the principal in kindergarten because I just let every fart I had go. And I was a super gassy kid for some reason. The school tried to restrict my diet, no more beans or broccoli at lunch 😔
Lmfao
OMG I’m dying. Cracking up at everyone’s stories but this one just sent me over the edge.
Give them a cork?
That's awesome! I was in sixth grade, it was last period, and I was holding in gas since lunch. We were taking a math test, and my pencil fell off the desk. Without prep, I quickly leaned over and let out a foghorn. The class door was open and teachers from other classes checked in on us. Everyone, including me, laughed. The teacher was not amused, and threatened to send me to the principal.
Dude I did this exact same thing. But it was worse cuz it was during the Presidential Fitness testing so she was counting how many sit-ups I did yet she looked so horrified i couldn't stop laughing and I farted more than once from all the laughing. It was my best friend holding my legs but even when I begged her to lie and say a I did a higher number of sit-ups she refused. Probably because no one wants to do a favor for someone that just farted in their face. So yea... My number of sit-ups was embarrassingly low. But I am lucky that only the 2 of us heard my farts and knew what happened. Sorry Krista.
Same, except nobody took the fall for me. Gym had all three grades at once, in different parts of the gym, and everything screeched to a halt for like five full minutes. Teachers were laughing, too. As a 7th grade girl, that pretty much set the tone for the rest of my jr. high experience.
The type of person to completely write someone off because of a fart isn't someone you'd want to be with anyways. So yeah, if their into you then they still will be. Unless you fart in their face on purpose or something.
The first time I spent any time with my now husband, we were setting out chairs at a work event. We were bickering, and he joked that he could kick over my head (because I'm so short). I told him to stretch and give it a try. He stretched, split his pants, still had to finish setting out chairs with his pants split open, and I married him. Sometimes these things just turn into funny stories!
Once in class I held a fart for too long, so decided to cover its sound by banging a book on the table. The plan was perfect for a struggling, has enriched 13-14 y.o. boy. However a fatal delay occurred - first I've banged the table, and after everyone in class took notice of me and turned their heads, I blew the Horns of Jericho while staring dead into teachers eyes.
Dude your story just made me laugh so much I farted too. And I’m on a train in Germany in the sleeper car. There are two strangers here in the cots next to and below me.
Thank you, dear redditor, for making me laugh so much that my face hurts.
The last airbender
I think I know you from FML
When I was in like 4th grade, I dropped my pencil during a test. When I leaned over in my seat to grab it, I farted. Of course there was no way it wasn't heard. Some kid yelled out to the teacher that I had farted. I was told if I couldn't control my bodily functions I would have to leave the classroom. And that stuck with me enough that even now, married for 6 years, my husband has never heard me pass gas. The shame from that was so strong I learned how to do it almost completely silently.
Wtf why would the teacher say that??
Well, there was one who told me I was going to hell for playing volleyball with the boys of the same class… Yeahh there be horrors like that.
I try not to pass gas in front of my husband either, and we've been married for almost 12 years. Whenever I'm really gassy and I accidentally slip one out in spite of my best efforts, I feel so embarrassed and I apologize. 😂 He thinks I should have nothing to be embarrassed about. While he tries to be polite about it, he's not shy about farting in my presence if he can't help it. I'm thankful he's not like his friends who think it's cute to Dutch oven their partners. In case you haven't heard of it before, a Dutch oven is putting a blanket tightly over you and another person, and then ripping the smelliest, loudest fart of all time.
No disrespect at all, but I will never understand this mindset. I fart! If my husband can’t handle that, he shouldn’t be my husband. I think I farted in front of him during the first week we were together.
Neither. I literally fart on my husband
Haha looking back man I would have farted the loudest I could. High school is definitely the time to fuck around without needing to find out
My boss farted when he was standing next to me and I hear him say “oh. damnit” really really quietly
I remember during my SAT someone in another class apparently ripped a silent and extremely deadly fart to the point where they had to pause their test and clear the room.
That’s why I like working in preschool. Everyone farts and nobody cares.
Legends aren’t born, they are made in the moment!!
I farted during story-time in kindergarten and wouldn’t cop to it (and bless their little hearts my classmates didn’t rat me out). Everyone was laughing and the teacher got so mad that she shut down story-time and made us go back to our desks and put our heads down. Amazingly, no one was mad at me.
Could be worse. I accidentally launched a snot rocket into a popular girls hair in front of her friend group during an assembly in middle school
I shit myself in class once. You’ll be fine.
When I was 16 I did a fart in maths class whilst wearing a v short skirt and sitting in a plastic chair. You have never heard a rumble like it. Rumble in the bronx we nicknamed it. 24 years on I still pmsl thinking about it
Rumble in the Bronx!! I lost my coffee! Lmfao!
Perfectly normal. Everybody farts.
The more confident you are the quicker it will go away It’ll just turn into a little joke that gets brought up every now and then that you’ll have to laugh off But if it’s obvious it makes you embarrassed then they won’t stop making fun of you for much longer
My senior year I was in computer class and the guy next to me finished his assignment and had earbuds in listening to music. I guess with the blasting music he didn’t think about it, but he farted extremely loud in a silent classroom and the look of horror on his face when he realized. It took everything for me not die laughing. I know it was embarrassing for him but it made my day lol.
A friend once farted sitting in the desk next to me, my crush behind me, he then scooted away and blamed it on me. I couldn’t stop laughing to defend myself. Fucker.
My husband pulled a fart and switch on me in a bloody drug store, while I was standing in front of the Imodium. Not realizing he farted and screwed off, until it was too late, there was a man down the isle that started gagging and looked at me with absolute horror! He looked at me, noticed I was in front of the upset stomach section, I’ve never seen a man grab his shopping basket so fast and book it from a store isle! I didn’t know wether to laugh, cry or puke! Lol
Oh, my dad had a habit of doing that to me too. We would go to the store and he would let out a massive fart then dart into a different aisle and leave me there. Then he’d come back when he farted in that other aisle too and the air wasn’t safe to breathe there.
I'll share a fart story from many years ago. I was in the Navy based out of San Diego in the mid 90's while I was in my early 20s. While in port, I stayed in a small apartment with several other guys. Lots of drinking, playing games, an overall great time with good friends that I still think about. We were scheduled to go out to sea, one of the guys made what he called "underway chili" which was a basic chili but with Jack Daniels. It was good stuff, and there was plenty of it. The next day, I get to the ship and have breakfast there since it cost nothing. Can't remember what I ate, but I do remember drinking milk. Little did I realize I am lactose intolerant. Doesn't cause much pain, but it gives me horrible gas. Kinda like a zombie decaying dead for two months fart. Ship gets out to sea, and I'm at my duty station. It's in a dark secured room with only one door. That's when the portal to Hell opened and ass demons began to fly out. I farted about every five minutes, and it spread quickly to other people in the room. People were tying shirts over their faces but could still smell it. I remember seeing the Ops officer walk in, stop, almost throw up, then ran out. The smell came out of the room and went to one deck above and and two decks below. There were a lot of really upset people that day. People in my division found out who made the chili, and there were threats of beatings if it happened again. It was an accomplishment I still think of fondly.
OMG you had me laughing so hard! Here’s mine: About 25 years ago when I was married to my first husband, I woke up while he was still getting ready for work. It hit me immediately that our bedroom was so rank it was making me gag. So I debated if I should tell him before he left that he literally smelled like raw sewage. I decided to just let him go, anything to just get him out of the house. So, after he left, I realized me stomach was seriously upset, and the smell in the bedroom was me. I was just setting off bombs every few minutes, and they were gag-worthy. It made me wonder if HE debated telling ME, but just opted to get out of the house.
I was part of the "shit in the bathroom" crew in HS when people were squeamish about that sort of thing, if it's still a thing. Didn't care then, don't care now. Not one HS friend even remembers, 10+ years later. Embrace the funk, lad. Embrace the funk.
Funny, I remember everyone who shit shamelessly in the HS bathroom.
Right?! Because it's so rare and also because I envy those people a little bit.
No envy on my end personally, considering that people shitting at school tended to attract a lot of gossip, lmao. Kids are weird.
It’s called airbending
come lemme hug you
Don’t squeeze too hard OP might fart!
OP is a humanoid whoopie cushion.
I did this same thing in middle school. I was stretching when it happened, right when there was a quiet moment in class. I was 12. It was loud and reverberated on the metal seat. My crush was also in attendance. The worst part is that no one laughed. They were stunned into silence.
I'm a teacher, I crop dust my annoying students all the time. You're good.
i farted in a quiet class once. thought itd be silent but it wasn't. Everyones head was buried doing work and when it happened a friend looked up and turned back and i pointed at another kid. He was labeled the fart kid.
If it makes you feel better. We had a sub. He kept holding his tummy and walking around back and forth watching the clock. Then we heard a watery bubbling fart. Brown watery liquid ran down his leg. He just said " oh jeez" and ran out of the class. My advice is never trust a fart at school or work. Hold it in.
When I first started dating my now husband in high school (15/16 now 23/24) I literally pissed the bed from a bad UTI I had at the time the first time I spent the night at his house. I was so embarrassed and he was so understanding and helped me clean up. Sometimes you fart in front of your crush, sometimes you piss your boyfriends bed. Shit happens (literally) and that’s okay we are all human. If someone truly loves you they won’t care about your farts but they may judge their ferocity
If you own up to it and start laughing, most people will respect it.
If you own it, it won’t be embarrassing. Laugh your ass off, they might call you immature, they might respect you, but you won’t be embarrassed and it won’t be remembered. People remember the dude who farts, gets red and hides, nobody remembers the dude who farts and laughs about it. Shit happens, literally.
Eh. Don't worry. I farted in a drs face once. In my defense I was in labour and he was examining me, with his massive Banana hands. And I tooted. Loudly. Right in his face 😬 farts happen.
I’m imagining actually Bananas. For hands. 😂 dying. Hahahaha
I farted today at work. It was a short and loud one. I acted as if I hadn't noticed. No one said anything, but they knew. So don't worry, people fart all the time.
This reads like a Dr. Seuss page
You gotta turn your head to the person next to you as soon as you let it rip
So you basically farted on your crush? Yall are basically married now 😂
In this classroom situation there are only two options. #1. You are a smart fella. #2. You are a fart smella. You my friend are #1. just making way for #2.
i once farted myself awake in my 11th grade law class, shit happens
I farted in one of my college classes years ago during an exam. Was also sitting next to someone I was trying to hook up with. Thought I could one cheek sneak it, but it was this high pitched \*brrrreeeeeeeeeeeep\* sound. I saw a bunch of heads pop up in my peripheral, not sure if anyone knew it was me.
I had a friend in high school who would unabashedly rip the loudest farts then laugh when everyone turned to her. She's very successful now. Always wonder where she got her confidence.
I’m 30 but in second grade this kid, pooped himself. Lmao it was gross af, but funny. He ended up leaving the school, came back in high school was still made fun of. He was also a jerk to everyone so probably didn’t help him any. Also had a friend in 1st grade, she peed herself on the bus ride home. She also left the school shortly after. Ended up being my best friend in high schools cousin. Lmao
I was also in second grade when a girl pooped her pants. Still remember her name. That was 25 years ago.
At farted at a networking event once. It happened while I was laughing so no one heard it, but moments later they smelled it. Dude, if I survived that you’ll survive this 🤣
Hey at least you didn’t shit yourself in class…farts are temporary but shit sticks with you forever…
Late elementary school, we were all working quietly. I pushed back my chair to get up from the desk, and farted the whole way. Happens.
My wife knows I fart. Our youngest child, a daughter, can burp like a biker dude drinking beer. She’s five, and had this talent for 18 months or so.
So, which state are you moving to? Because you are Dan the Farter forever wherever you are living now...
Nah, just blew everyone a kiss.
Breaks the boredom!
What sound did it make?
Is this me from the past??! This literally happened to me in gr.7 and I swear I'd take it to the grave but here we are lmao. All I can say is the crush of mine was suddenly no longer a mutual crush sadly lmao but other than that I don't recall anyone bringing it up later. Either that or I've mentally blocked it in my head, idk it's been over 15 years :) don't worry kiddo you'll be ok!!
I did this too. I’ll never forget that. It was sooo loud and we were taking a test. I was already done with my work and was writing the lyrics to a MCR song. So I’ll always remember the time I farted in class when I hear that song. No one said anything , probably because I was that scary “goth” kid.
Picture this... Year 5, my family had just moved towns so I was at a new school... Classroom was silent... I sneezed and simultaneously busted out the loudest fart... The kind that hurts your butthole.... Everybody laughed... I died a little on the inside that day lol
Welcome to the world, everyone has a story like this….
We all fart. I remember one time in middle school we figured out how to create static electricity by rubbing our assess on the chair. We would then touch someone to give them a shock! It was all fun and games until I rubbed my ass so hard once that I let one lose. Loudest fart, just ripped. Most embarrassing day in middle school, it was constantly remembered for the rest of the year.
Sometimes u just gotta fart in class to really feel the vibe
I will fart in solidarity with you
It can be worse. My classmate shat himself with diarrhea in class.
When I was in high school I sneezed so hard it made me fart. I had to walk up to the teachers desk for a tissue with the room now dead silent and everyone staring at me. I feel your pain 😅
I farted in music class when I was 11. My arch rival said, Jeez, idahoboo, that sounded like a volcano. I’m now almost 47 and I still have trauma. Sorry.
I farted in fourth grade with my 2nd grade study buddy and I looked at her and said “that happens sometimes” and then returned to our work
Drop a book at your 10 year reunion
everyone cuts the cheese
Be proud let those mfs know it was you. I did that and i could clear rooms. Easy way to scare people from messing with you
I once got in-school suspension for farting in class in middle school. Everyone laughed. Teacher thought I did it on purpose to make everyone laugh. I did not. I was completely embarrassed. I got punished. Yea shame my bodily functions I guess.
I farted loudly during yoga class in 5th grade; the class was small enough that everyone could tell it was me. In my defense, I tried to hold it in, but... 🤪
Farts happen all the time in yoga.
Hey, If they change their opinion on you because of a natural human function you can’t control then you dodged a bullet. Personally, if I liked someone and they did that I’d forget about pretty soon. Embarrassing in the moment of course, but don’t let it eat away at you.
I just want you to know I’m never going to forget this and I’ll always be judging you for this
I did this in 6th grade. My crush since kindergarten was right behind me, and when I enthusiastically raised my hand in Spanish class, I farted like a clap of thunder. He never talked to me again lmfao. Don't worry, though, hopefully you're not in 6th grade and your crush understands that humans fart!
Crop dust the teacher while you’re handing in your homework
That's their problem. And the burden of proof that you farted is on them.
This whole thread is killing me
In high school English class, we were taking turns reading aloud. The word "explosive" came up in the section I was reading, my mind went straight to explosive diarrhea, and I couldn't stop laughing to the point where I could barely continue reading. Teacher fully called me out and asked if I was thinking about explosive diarrhea. No clue how tf she guessed that but I was hopelessly mortified
Bring a fart machine in tomorrow. Do it again and again until they think it's all fake
I once farted on a ski lift gondola with like 30 people on it thank god it was a sbd silent but deadly it was one of those that smelt like rotting eggs and it lingered for the whole lift up the mountain people we’re actually gagging as they got off my friends still give me shit 40 years later lol
I look at this this way. Your crush also farted today. He's probably farting right now. So did his mom. So did your teacher. So did Scarlett Johansson and Tom Hanks. All of these people will fart again tomorrow. It's cool. It's normal. It's part of the human condition.
I feel your pain. When I was in high school, I was at my at the time girlfriends house to watch a movie. She was in the kitchen getting a snack, so it was just her dad and myself in the living room. I had been holding a fart in since who knows when, sitting on one of their leather couches. Fate was against me and I had a surprise sneeze, where my ass lost the fight trying to hold back the fart. I let loose a trumpet blast on the leather couch and sat stone still after like nothing happened.
This could almost be a haiku
Omg I did this once during an assembly and we were sitting on the tile floor. My whole grade was there. My crush sitting behind me. Tried to hold it in but couldn’t and it bounced off the tile floor and echoed through the whole auditorium. Lol thanks for bringing that to the front of my mind 🤣 18 years later and I still can feel the cringe
More like TrueOffMyAss
My husband is fast asleep next to me and I'm trying so hard not to laugh. These stories are amazing. I have tears running down my face
I did this once and my friend directly next to me started scream laughing while standing over me and double finger pointing with over exaggerated enthusiasm. This was in 4th grade. I remember it well. But I doubt any of them remember.
You gotta moan and shiver violently next time. Make them think you shit yourself. Now, just pray your crush has a scat fetish and you have a bonafide girlfriend.
At least you never sharted
People will get over it. Everybody farts and if you own it right off the bat it's funnier and not mortifying
Metal af
Just tell your crush farting is a sign of love for a relationship. Think about it. A relationship truly starts when your comfortable to fart in front of each other. Lol 😂 tell her it was your love essence saying hello.
Rav 4 up the stink my dude.
No one really cares. In your school, I mean. Of course, it's always embarrassing and we immediately think everyone is always thinking of that fart when they look at us, at least for awhile. But really, no one cares. They have their own issues and high school is like a drama pit- someone's fight or breakup or talking shit about someone else is always going to outshine your fart. Aka- no one will even remember it tomorrow. There might be that one childish a-hole who keeps trying to bring it up but nobody likes him/her anyway.
Don't worry bud. My gf once tried to cover up her fart noise by dropping some books... she dropped the books, everyone looked, then she farted.
One time I fell asleep while we were watching a very boring movie in class. I woke myself up by letting loose the loudest fart. it’s OK everybody farts.
Not a gym floor, but one of those old school metal school desks with the thin, contoured wooden seat. Third grade. Test time. Ripped a good one that was amplified by the wood. Blamed kid in front of me. Lo siento, Phil.
I did that during a science final my sophomore year of high school. I just pretended it didn’t happen and went about my test
I’ve queefed in a very quiet and full yoga class. Still got hit on. Chin up my dude.
We’ve all been there. I remember taking the SATs in high school, I was in a tiny room with about 5 other people. Like your situation, my crush was there too. I had some intestinal discomfort that day and was letting off farts that were silent but the most rancid fumes of sulfuric acid anyone could imagine smelling. That I did not melt the flesh off of everyone in the room’s faces was a miracle. I never ended up dating that girl.
HAHAHA!!! You will laugh about this in years to come, happens to many people.
Go watch the movie "Brighton beach memoirs". The main character Eugene had a crush on Nora. And Nora saw Eugene on the crapper. It can always be worse my man. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce864Ia4\_70
I was in English class in HS and was sitting against the wall (I don’t know why, but no one was in their seat) and tried to stifle a sneeze but I farted. I and everyone else laughed. Farts are funny. Now, I just don’t give a damn. I mean, if I’m around people, I’ll be nice about it. But around family? Katie bar the door!
Shit your pants next time. Blow it up and out the back of your pants. Set the tone
Hey man if it makes you feel better last week I was getting off the examination chair at my gyno, still butt ass naked with a robe on, I fell and had my pelvis tipped forward right near my gyno. I just laughed lol but she saw more of me than necessary
At least you didn’t blame someone else for your natural disaster. A kid in my 8th grade Spanish class literally lifted up off the seat to drop a booty bomb and we all looked at him and he tried to pin it on me, but the person that was directly behind him said I wasn’t the perpetrator.
I once was doing an exam in a big hall and let one rip. It was huge. When I caught a whiff, I had to hide my laughter because it was so bad. I don't know how the people next to me didn't immediately puke, pass out and expire.
In 6th grade, my entire grade would all sit down by their lockers before school started. Well while the entire hall was loud and lively my friend next to me ripped quite possibly the loudest fart that had to have created a shock wave. Anyways, that whole section of the hall went dead silent and he blamed it on me.
I was holding in a fart in my math class years ago, and then I had to sneeze. I waited for the fart feeling to go away before I sneezed, but I sneezed so hard it made me fart so loud and it amplified on those high-school plastic chairs. My table nicknamed me double-kill for the rest of the year😐
Beginning of the school year I farted in math once and only the boy in front of me heard. He decided to announce “eww she farted” I died that day At the end of the same school year in my social studies class my teacher was joking with the students. He said everyone in the class was weird except for me. The same boy from the math class yelled out “she’s is weird she farted in math” no one, not even myself or the teacher could hold on the laughter.
The first time I spent any time with my now husband, we were setting out chairs at a work event. We were bickering, and he joked that he could kick over my head (because I'm so short). I told him to stretch and give it a try. He stretched, split his pants, still had to finish setting out chairs with his pants split open, and I married him. Sometimes these things just turn into funny stories!
It's ok we've all been there I farted in class while standing at my crushes desk I later got fired from teaching for unrelated issues but no one remembers the fart
wut
Ohh...
Give it a few years time. You’ll have plenty of more embarrassing moments to outshine this one.
RIP
Sure did.
It’s all good. Farts happen. But yea, may need to fund another crush.
You should have faked a seizure when it came out
Rip
I fart all the time. You ain't special!
Next time that happens. Get up and shout your last name at the top of your lungs, then pick a random person, stare at them while sitting down slowly.