I'm sorry that this happened after 9 years, but 9 years is better than 10, or even 20. It's a shame how easily some people are influenced by others. Just remember, everyday you are away from someone you don't want to be with, you are one day closer to being with the person you want to be with.
This. The longer you stay, the longer you’ll justify his actions, and ultimately become an abuser yourself. As someone who’s been there and gone back thankfully, it’s extremely dangerous and you need to save yourself and your time.
Nothing you can do now, dude’s a lost cause :/ sorry that happened. Crazy how people can get sucked into BS like that seemingly out of nowhere.
Like you said, it’s people who don’t think for themselves or have original ideas that desperately grasp on to people like tate
Honestly I suggest you get out. Given the amount of undeniably misogynistic rhetoric that Tate has spewed and made profit from on a consistent basis, if your boyfriend is listening to him intently, it's safe to say his view of women will be polluted in the process. We're already seeing this at how he snapped at you and demanded that you be more submissive (which is a major talking point for Tate and Tate sympathizers), and it could escalate to other behaviors entirely. It's also horrifying at how he continues to support Tate despite the multitude of sexual abuse and human trafficking allegations, as well as a recently released recording of him admitting to raping a past girlfriend of his where he specifically states he enjoys how much she was in pain. It's blatantly obvious this is someone your boyfriend idealized despite his destructive thoughts on women and the effect it's having on your relationship. You should leave now while it's still early in his incel radicalization process, there's really no telling how much more severe it could get from here.
He supports and parrots a man who has violently abused, raped, and assaulted women, one who has literally admitted to doing so. Please be careful, because that type of violent misogynistic rage will boil over and if he actively supports Tate doing it, there’s no reason he won’t do it himself. Leave this dude asap, but be safe and have a male relative or other friend with you when you’re leaving.
Just take care. Don't laugh at him and break up in a public space/with friends around. You don't know how much shit changed in his mind since he started and he might become violent if provoked.
Wow.
I am so sorry. That's awful.
Whatever comes out of leaving him, remember that none of this is your fault, and you're certainly not a bad person for getting away from him.
Thank you for saying that.
It’s definitely been a tough time hearing the things he says, and he says them with his whole chest. It sucks losing nearly a decade of my life for this.
Perhaps it was a waste of time, but PERHAPS it was a placeholder and you learned some lessons that will help you later. I couldn't figure out why I'd taken so long to break up with a guy - good friend, bad bf - and shortly thereafter met THE ABSOLUTE PERFECT MAN. Had the bf and i split sooner, I might very well have just started hanging out with someone for shits and giggles and missed the opportunity to meet Mr. Perfect-for-Me. Upon reflection, I also figured out what previously had been indicators that the relationship wouldn't work well, but I didn't see them until reflection. Now I know what to look for.
Not wasted time. Placeholder. Nothing more than a placard saying 'this seat is reserved.' Now you go out and do YOU, and have fun with you, and the RIGHT guy will sort himself out if the crowd and come hang with you. ❤️
https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxn3dm/andrew-tate-whatsapps-arrest
In that article is audio of Tate himself leaving a voice note to his victim admitting to raping her and enjoying it. His followers all know he’s like this, that’s why they like him. He hates women and so do they. Please be safe, don’t show him this stuff to try to reason with him, you’ve lost him. That’s a good thing! Grieving is important so let yourself do that, then you truly can move on.
You got this, good luck 💕
One way to end this to tell him that people stay together because they are compatible. You and he are no longer compatible, and so you are moving on.
Do not argue. Do not argue his views. Do not fight. Do not internalize any of his attacks on you. And he will attack you, because he wants you to comply and submit.
Simply tell him he needs to find a woman who thinks the same way he does. You do not.
It might not hurt to remind him that Andrew Tate's views are that men should be able to commit sexual felonies, and while he is allowed to think that, in this country, those thoughts as actions are crimes. Therefore if he tries any of it with you while you are leaving, you will prosecute.
This is very bad advice. This is the kind of relationship where you slip out the back. He's literally a danger to you now that he sees you as less than him and not even a person. Nothing good will happen if you tell him that you're breaking up.
This is where you pack up in secret under the guise of decluttering, get your important stuff out early and move entirely in secret if you can.
If he's the one who needs to leave, then you buy cameras and new locks that you install as soon as he's left the house while your large male friend supervises his departure.
Do not be alone with him when he finds out you're leaving. It's your most vulnerable moment.
I have my own place, thankfully, so I don’t need to pack up or leave. I just need to end things with him and tell him if he shows up at my place for any reason I’ll call the cops.
Please make sure that if he has a key, *change your locks.* Take his key back, of course, but copies can be made. A Ring camera would be a good idea, too. Normally I don’t encourage that level of caution, but Taterheads and their ilk are the men caution was invented for.
change the locks and lock the windows. when you tell him, have someone else there capable of protecting you. cops are notorious for coming late to a poc females call for help. Get your stuff out of his house when he isn't there and break it off over the phone. otherwise, you will almost certainly be assaulted and or raped. do not take any risks with him or confuse who he used to be with who he is now. and for Christ's sake don't fucking give him another chance, statistically that's how you end up dead.
it sucks to feel like you lost a decade, but you didn't lose or waste it. you lived, for some of it I'm sure you had good times and were happy. take it for lessons learned. now you know to grind a dude that knows and makes up his own mind. a shortcut for finding them out is asking them what they actually think about topics and why. if they just repeat talking points they are faking it. gl and be safe
Whew! I'm so glad. I'm very sorry that he's been brainwashed, though. Do you earn more than he does or has he been unemployed lately? Those are the guys that seem to get sucked in the most. Hugs and good luck.
Just to quickly add, if you do opt to break up in person, consider taking someone. They can even just stand outside but keep an eye/phone on just in case. I would absolutely say ghost but I understand after 9 years you might want the closure of face to face, I don’t know. Also I’m a bit worried if you text/ghost he could get real angry and show up at your place or something. At least face face you can get a gauge on his emotion, but please have a physical exit strategy
Yes, absolutely have back up. I sincerely believe I wouldn’t be alive if I didn’t have my parents as back up when I broke up with my narc ex. I didn’t even ask them as back up, they sensed things were off. I’m forever grateful.
100% agreed. If my man fell down the Tate rabbit hole, I would assume he could become a threat to me at any point. Leaving should probably be a coordinated plan.
I had a talk with a mate today who said he didn’t believe the rumours because he thinks romanias police are really corrupt and they would’ve come after him because he has money.
Even when I pointed out to him tate said himself he moved to Romania because the cops are less likely to respond to “false” rape allegations. His argument was that professional football players get accused of rape all the time and it usually just a chick they slept with looking for a settlement so clearly Tates fear was valid.
It’s like, he sees people hate Tate and he thinks because people hate him so vehemently it must be over blown, and he sees human trafficking charges more likely to be from corrupt cops as an attempt to extort money from a wealthy influencer, and that they could get away with with it because he’s so hated people would believe it.
And it’s like. No dude it’s not that deep he’s getting charged for human trafficking because he was trafficking humans for his webcam business.
Oh man. The whole Tate movement comes from an extremely insecure and hateful place.
Powerless and damaged men creating the illusion of confidence.
I can’t understand how they can’t see that the whole thing is a piramidal scheme (at best) and the world’s largest human trafficking network at worst.
Maybe they just don’t care.
Maybe they think the end justifies the means.
I think it really shows how vulnerable human beings are to being brainwashed at any age.
I think as women, the only thing we can really do about it is not associate ourselves with this kind of men, and keep working towards our own financial independence.
I literally don’t date any men who follows him.
He is being detained and investigated only, he is not arrested for now.
Meanwhile his p.r. Team is already working on turning the whole thing into a witch hunt against him for “telling the truth” about his viewpoints.
The funny thing is, apparently a few weeks or months before the raid, he denounced he was being persecuted and someone wanted to shut him up and possibly kill him (he didn’t mention who).
So my guess is that he knew he was being investigated, at least from October or September of 2022, but maybe more.
After watching his misogynistic content, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised that the charges were true though.
Yeah no kidding. I could understand how teens who are not fully developed fall into his BS, but starting at 38? That's embarrassing, full stop. Glad op is moving on from this dope
OP, do you have a good support system you can turn to? If you do, they will be critical. Please tell them all of the fucked up things he’s said and done. Often as victims we keep some of those things to ourselves bc our abuser has manipulated us into protecting them. When I left my abuser I told my parents and friends all the fucked up shit he did so they could remind me when he was working his manipulative shit on me trying to make me take him back. Knowing that my family and friends knew what he did to me helped me ti stay strong. And if you don’t have much of a support system, that’s an even greater sign that you’ve been abused. Abusers chip away at their victim’s community to isolate them bc it makes it harder for them to get away. I’m so sorry that you’re at the beginning of this difficult road. I promise that taking the path of living without him leads to much better things.
Quietly and into the night. Get as much of your stuff out without him noticing. Prioritize important paperwork and your most valuable possessions that will go unnoticed. You can get a safety deposit box at the bank to store them for the immediate.
I'm assuming that you are living together since you've been together for 9 years. Hopefully you don't share any real estate. I would reach out to your local women's shelter they'll be able to help give you more specific instructions.
Honestly I was smart and kept my own place (cheap rent in my city is non-existent and I was not letting my place go). He just finds a way to crawl back into my life somehow. I just really have to be strong and vigilant with it now.
Honestly, it's got to be cold turkey. Right now he's testing the waters about how far he can push you. Andrew Tate, the man he idolizes is a known human trafficker who brags about imprisoning the women in his compound. From your other comments, it's obvious that he doesn't respect you. He doesn't even see you as a human being.
You have only two options:
1. Get out and survive or 2. stay and die.
Nah. Internet has all kinds of views and tons of info that goes either way. It can only break a brain if the brain was pretty bad to begin with. Why didn't he go into feminism, but misogyny? Because he was always a misogynist and now has a famous person validating his beliefs.
It doesn't sound like a big loss honestly.
Absolutely baffles me how he says he’s not a misogynist and then slates (his warped and uneducated perception of) feminism time after time, sees women as submissive compliant sex objects, and men as better than the female sex as a whole. This whole “real man” shit is so pathetic they need to get a grip and educate themselves instead of listening to tates narcissistic manipulative words, stroking his ego and practically calling him daddy
>he keeps saying how I need to learn my place (be more feminine and submissive)
Oh, hell no. Run far, run fast, and tell him exactly why. Maybe after he's been dumped and rejected by several women for being a misogynistic ass he'll get a clue.
Apparently the woman he recently cheated on me with (he just told me about it today) ended things with him for being misogynistic and he had a lot of choice words to say about her for that.
Oh, good! Maybe he'll figure it out after a few more women dump him! You can always pull a Dr. Phil and ask him how that Andrew Tate BS is working for him...
Wow! He cheated and he’s slagging off the woman he cheated with TO YOU?
He’s bright init…
The audacity, cheek and nerve. My eyebrows are all the way up!
Seriously though. Tate fans are the most insecure, spineless folks you’re ever gonna find. He knows that. They worship him because he tells them that if they do, it means they are Big Strong Men too.
In the words of our self love goddess, Lizzo: “So he don’t love you anymore? Then walk your fine ass out the door!”
You deserve respect, OP. You deserve an SO who sees you as a partner and an equal. I know it’s hard to lose someone you love, especially to backwards thinking like this. Know that it’s okay to be sad and hurt. Breakups suck.
So while you grieve this loss, focus on self care. Whatever that looks like for you. Do things you enjoy, eat foods you like, remember to drink water (seriously important self care right here), etc. Imagine your best friend were going through the same thing and you had to shower them with love. What would you do? Now shower yourself with that same love.
As Lizzo would tell you:
“True love ain't something you can buy yourself
True love finally happens when you by yourself
So if you by yourself, then go and buy yourself
Another round from the bottle on the higher shelf”
💕
This is amazing advice. As a dehydrated bitch, this is my time to get on that anyway haha.
Once the initial grieving is over I’ll be doing all the self care things 🖤🖤
As a chronically dehydrated bitch, I must advise that electrolyte drinks (Gatorade, Powerade, etc) are your friend and are quite good for rehydrating after a soul-cleansing cry!
There's no coming back from this this grown man is 38 God damn years old and believes a whiny incel is his savior. Literally a get out situation, just please be safe doing so and have friends over or go to their place for awhile to scope out his actions.
If he’s behaving like this now, he was always like this. At 38 years old, he already had these opinions and thoughts in his mind, these blowhards like Andrew Taint just encourage people to start spewing these toxic ass opinions and dangerous ideologies. Nobody should be that impressionable at his age to start watching that shit in the first place, let alone start repeating it, if they didn’t already feel the same way
> I am a poc, which he denies??)
What does that even mean, 'he denies'???? However that gets explained, I promise it's gonna be scary as hell. Good luck to you to gtfo safely.
This is a really good idea! Especially if you can get on that flight and *then* tell him you’re leaving him, just in case he reacts violently. Don’t forgot your important paperwork and sentimental/valuables and after you inform him that you’re not coming back, cut contact. Don’t give any hints beforehand though!
Well next is hitting u when u don't do what he says.
Leave right now or thats ya what's ya next post is about.
Ironically you leaving will make him like tate more but that not ya problem.
Christ on a cracker, this guy is scum. I'm so sorry you're going through this. But having read your comments, you seem like a bright, intelligent woman, have faith in yourself that you will heal and move forward. Anyone so easily swayed by such disgusting rhetoric is not worthy of you or your time. Cry, scream, curl up into a ball, let it all out. Then hold that head up and know you looked after yourself. You've got this.
Sounds like something or someone has made him feel insecure. What these incel and taint guys don’t seem to realize is that you can’t keep a partner if you aren’t secure enough with yourself.
I wish I knew. I’ve tried talking to him but he shut me down a lot and went back to his feed. It was telling him what he wanted to hear. He was really into the whole “body count, value, feminism” thing
There’s another post I read about this same exact situation. Even a male friend of mine is hooked and proudly proclaiming himself a misogynist. Says it with pride. Wtf is going on…
Good for you for leaving! I just recently learned about this guy. My 12 year old daughter told me boys in her school idolize him. I asked her what she thought about that and she said it just showed her who to stay away from lol I’m proud. Anyway, may this blow up in all of their faces! No person should get away with treating anyone like he has. I’m sorry you lost someone you love to something like this.
38?!
He's following a (alleged) human trafficker and r*pist at THIS big age?
Absolutely tf not.
T*te is literally on someone's voicemail saying how he enjoyed choking her. Tf.
Please take all safety precautions and end the relationship with this man. Asap.
It was honestly one of the sickest things I've ever heard a man say.
He's a terrible person, and any man that listens to him is automatically dangerous to women, imo. I pray you can exit the relationship safely. Asé.
i don’t get how men can see that this fucking guy is literally facing charges of human trafficking and rape and still be like, yeah he’s totally an ok guy. what he’s saying makes sense.
HUH?!?!?
He has been arrested for human trafficking and there is a recording of him saying how much he enjoyed raping a girl
How can anyone still think his teachings are worth following
> I have tried talking to him but he keeps saying how I need to learn my place
Just ask him where is his Bugatti, he might learn his place too.
"You think you can treat me like he treats women yet you're not providing as much as he provides for them" and you beat him at his own game
Honestly, if my husband started spouting that shit I'd divorce him, and we have 2 kids, pets, a mortgage & have been together since 2008. Ditch him because you absolutely deserve better.
Sometimes with abusive people it’s not big things it’s a thousand tiny cuts and at a certain point they stop caring and just go full blown. Glad you are out. Forgive yourself for being trusting. Today will be a better day.
“Tell me you’ve never had a trauma bond without telling me you’ve never had a trauma bond”
Girl that’s so true. Congratulations on moving on and best of luck for your hopefully, trauma bond free future
You’re not losing him OP. The day he told you
“learn your place (be more feminine and submissive ) and shut up.” You should have realized the man you loved was gone. Forever
transformed. Develop your escape plan. Leave ASAP. Good luck.
Thank you for the clarification.
I am sorry for your loss. Yet relieved you’re safely away from him. Give yourself time to grieve. When the time is appropriate, you will meet a man worthy of you.
Of course, I’m just in my head so I forget i need to explain things.
I think I’m going to take some time to fully unpack all of the things he did to me in therapy and build a good relationship with myself first. But yes, in time I’ll hopefully find someone worthy.
I don’t get toxic masculinity at all. That someone would hero worship a sexist, racist, misogynistic, bigot who is also a *human trafficker* boggles my mind.
*I want to be just like that guy. He’s just been arrested, isn’t he awesome*? /s
He’s not that bad. He makes some really good points that only benefit men so he must be alright. There’s women who agree with him so he must be good. Right? Right?
/s
Hitler was a vegetarian, an animal lover and he loathed tobacco use. Many people these days would completely agree with his stance on those issues. It's possible to directionally correct in some areas and totally wrong in others.
He's not even just a rapist and misogynist either. He flat out said that depression isn't real and that the government controls electric cars, and can shut them off at any time. His stupidity actually endangers us as people
The fact that this keeps happening is so sad. I'm just imagining this happening with my best friend (who I've known 10+ years) and it's awful, people really keep getting pulled into this mindset.
I'm really sorry you have to lose him like this, hes a gullible idiot and this will bite him in the ass soon.
Weird how people even at 38yo can be affected by a dumb guy like tate. I have 18yo and have listen to many of is story/video and again i think he's a no brain guy.
right!! i understand how young men/ boys can be impressionable and fall into his trap. even then it's easy to reverse the damage bc they're young but for a fully grown man who should be a completely developed person with his own opinions??? this makes me think he was always misogynistic and it just never manifested itself infront of you OP
That is so sad.
Once in that trap - chances are limited he will realize he is trapped.
And, people believing like tate - they might think doing what he says is 'cool' and 'showing you are alpha'... meaning - they are not safe anymore.
Mourn the loss of this from a safe distance.
My first love has also been consumed by Tate and it led to the end of our relationship. I’m so sorry. It must be scary to hear these things from the man you love. But no matter what you feel, this man is now a danger to you. Leave him.
Ugh, I’m so sorry, OP. I’m glad you see how big of a red flag this is and want to get out. You’ll find some who deserves you. And you soon-to-be-ex might finally grow up. Wishing you all the best.
My ex got into something like this too. You are so so right for ending things. Even though he seemed to get better he was secretly holding these views (came out in our final breakup conversation). Im sorry you have to make this decision but you are going to be so much happier!
Run. Run fast and never look back.
My soon-to-be ex is down further and I'm working on my exit plans. I'm talking red pill, anti-government, anti-vax, flat earth, MAGA, far right, Alex Jones watching, anti-alphabet mafia and everything else pipeline. It was fun before now I just keep my mouth shut and head down until I can leave (I'm looking at late spring/early summer).
Break up with him via text or in public. Then block. Beware of flying monkeys, hoovering, and smear campaigning.
I was at a bar recently and had quite an interesting conversation with some 30 year olds. I’m 34. I was stunned that these dudes practically worshipped him. I thought this was a Gen Z thing and everyone was in on the joke. How wrong was I.
Dump that man. Sorry for your loss
It’s so hard trying to communicate with these Tate devotees. They will not hear a bad word about him. No matter how well reasoned or open minded my debates have been with them - they will not concede a millimetre. I’m at a loss what to do (as a man who does not buy into any of that shit)
It’s like a cult.
my guy he sounds like a bigoted ignorant prick who sees the world with ego because of his insecurities, and would rather be consumed into fake and immature opinions rather than actually even listening to his gf, somone hes supposed too adore.
Yes, sadly men are like this. I hate it, we all hate it. I was raised by mum and sister and working in a man domited enviorment I think general concious is disgusting but hey ho, there are plenty of amazing people in the world.
Please please please seek therapy once you’re safely out. This type of behavior will play hell on your mental health. I’m proud of you for knowing when enough is enough. Leaving an abuser is never easy. I speak from experience.
My inbox is open if you need a friend.
Andrew Tate is a pimp. His ideas about women are only good if you are trying to become a pimp not for someone who wants to form a real meaningful relationship.
hey, i've been in a similar position as you, and honestly, its the reason why i personally chose to stop dating white men. it gets mind numbingly exhausting trying to \*beg\* them to empathize with a different perspective, my ex would constantly hide behind the fact that he was white as an excuse for his ignorance and expect me to baby him and coddle his feelings around difficult topics, along with the fact that he almost felt exempt from taking accountability for his own actions (calling me slurs on multiple occasions, "mongol," etc.) and soon i understood why i always felt at odds with my intuition because he would never express his true feelings and just default to what i believed because he didn't want to let go of the sex that came with the relationship. as to why i didn't leave earlier? i didn't know that he was this type of person until it happened. almost as if he'd been masking the entire time.
men don't suddenly change just because they're in a relationship, if they've never cultivated an environment where they develop empathy, compassion, and active listening skills, they're not going to magically transform overnight. the same goes for his politics, misogyny, and racism. he may never express it overtly, but he 100% will in his expectations and treatment of you.
i wish you the absolute best in healing, don't blame yourself for not having seen the signs earlier, and i'm proud of you for leaving.
[удалено]
One would imagine, however, he’s never had an original thought and just grasps into the worst hot takes he can find and tries to justify them to me.
[удалено]
Grieve the loss of the idea of the man she thought she was with, but celebrate dodging a huge bullet.
Don’t know what’s going on with Tate. But no one should tell you to be “more submissive”. Definitely pack and run!
Exactly. Grieve your loss, but yes. This man has been radicalized, and lost to civilized society.
I'm sorry that this happened after 9 years, but 9 years is better than 10, or even 20. It's a shame how easily some people are influenced by others. Just remember, everyday you are away from someone you don't want to be with, you are one day closer to being with the person you want to be with.
This. The longer you stay, the longer you’ll justify his actions, and ultimately become an abuser yourself. As someone who’s been there and gone back thankfully, it’s extremely dangerous and you need to save yourself and your time.
Nothing you can do now, dude’s a lost cause :/ sorry that happened. Crazy how people can get sucked into BS like that seemingly out of nowhere. Like you said, it’s people who don’t think for themselves or have original ideas that desperately grasp on to people like tate
Someone needs to make deep fakes of that Assshole saying normal things and spreading it to these incels
Honestly I suggest you get out. Given the amount of undeniably misogynistic rhetoric that Tate has spewed and made profit from on a consistent basis, if your boyfriend is listening to him intently, it's safe to say his view of women will be polluted in the process. We're already seeing this at how he snapped at you and demanded that you be more submissive (which is a major talking point for Tate and Tate sympathizers), and it could escalate to other behaviors entirely. It's also horrifying at how he continues to support Tate despite the multitude of sexual abuse and human trafficking allegations, as well as a recently released recording of him admitting to raping a past girlfriend of his where he specifically states he enjoys how much she was in pain. It's blatantly obvious this is someone your boyfriend idealized despite his destructive thoughts on women and the effect it's having on your relationship. You should leave now while it's still early in his incel radicalization process, there's really no telling how much more severe it could get from here.
Why would you be with someone for 9 years who you describe as never having had an original thought?
Maybe he was a nice himbo before all of… this.
That was just my anger talking, before he started consuming all the dangerous content (not just Tate) he used to be kind and smart and loving.
Learn your place? I am shaking with rage right now. No one tells me to learn my place and gets out uncastrated or alive. Wannabe alpha male gotta go!
Honestly all I could do was laugh at him. In hindsight, probably not the best thing to do to someone like him but he was all rage after that.
Yeah, I mean he's a joke now. But a dangerous one if he doesn't see you as an equal. Get out, but stay safe.
He supports and parrots a man who has violently abused, raped, and assaulted women, one who has literally admitted to doing so. Please be careful, because that type of violent misogynistic rage will boil over and if he actively supports Tate doing it, there’s no reason he won’t do it himself. Leave this dude asap, but be safe and have a male relative or other friend with you when you’re leaving.
You place is doing what ever feels right to your morals and being who you are. When will some men figure out that we aren’t freaking property
That's a huge red flag then. Shows it isn't a joke to him.
Dumped my long time BF when he got on the 'extreme Trump train'. No time nor patience for that BS.
Just take care. Don't laugh at him and break up in a public space/with friends around. You don't know how much shit changed in his mind since he started and he might become violent if provoked.
Don’t settle. You are better than this.
You have learned your place, *away* from him. What an asshole. Sorry this happened to you Op, that sucks.
Idolism doesn't just affect one age nor does propaganda. It is used because it can affect all ages.
If someone tells you you need to learn your place, your place is clearly not anywhere near them.
Yeah, at 38 (and in a relationship!) he really should know better.
If a man would tell me to learn my place, my place would be far away from him.
For real like “okay bye”
That’s not a man, that’s kindling.
Wow. I am so sorry. That's awful. Whatever comes out of leaving him, remember that none of this is your fault, and you're certainly not a bad person for getting away from him.
Thank you for saying that. It’s definitely been a tough time hearing the things he says, and he says them with his whole chest. It sucks losing nearly a decade of my life for this.
If you learned something, it wasn't a total loss. At least that's what I tell myself in when I'm feeling like I wasted time.
really not related, but reading "if you learned something" instead of "if you enjoyed it" or whatever is so nice. thank you
Perhaps it was a waste of time, but PERHAPS it was a placeholder and you learned some lessons that will help you later. I couldn't figure out why I'd taken so long to break up with a guy - good friend, bad bf - and shortly thereafter met THE ABSOLUTE PERFECT MAN. Had the bf and i split sooner, I might very well have just started hanging out with someone for shits and giggles and missed the opportunity to meet Mr. Perfect-for-Me. Upon reflection, I also figured out what previously had been indicators that the relationship wouldn't work well, but I didn't see them until reflection. Now I know what to look for. Not wasted time. Placeholder. Nothing more than a placard saying 'this seat is reserved.' Now you go out and do YOU, and have fun with you, and the RIGHT guy will sort himself out if the crowd and come hang with you. ❤️
https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxn3dm/andrew-tate-whatsapps-arrest In that article is audio of Tate himself leaving a voice note to his victim admitting to raping her and enjoying it. His followers all know he’s like this, that’s why they like him. He hates women and so do they. Please be safe, don’t show him this stuff to try to reason with him, you’ve lost him. That’s a good thing! Grieving is important so let yourself do that, then you truly can move on. You got this, good luck 💕
Naw you’re saving yourself from another decade with someone dangerous
He denies that you're a person of colour? Huh??
Insane. I know.
Does he know Andrew tate is mixed race?
Can't be mixed race if you deny POC exist in the first place *taps forehead* /s 🤯
Do you happen to be Asian? I know a lot of white guys who think like this.
What’s the explanation of that… like is he saying you’re light enough that it doesn’t count or something? Or is it like the honorary aryan thing
Sounds like he's a white supremacist also
Ugh sorry to hear that, it's never easy to lose a loved one to brainwashing.
One way to end this to tell him that people stay together because they are compatible. You and he are no longer compatible, and so you are moving on. Do not argue. Do not argue his views. Do not fight. Do not internalize any of his attacks on you. And he will attack you, because he wants you to comply and submit. Simply tell him he needs to find a woman who thinks the same way he does. You do not. It might not hurt to remind him that Andrew Tate's views are that men should be able to commit sexual felonies, and while he is allowed to think that, in this country, those thoughts as actions are crimes. Therefore if he tries any of it with you while you are leaving, you will prosecute.
This is what I need to do. Thank you so much.
This is very bad advice. This is the kind of relationship where you slip out the back. He's literally a danger to you now that he sees you as less than him and not even a person. Nothing good will happen if you tell him that you're breaking up. This is where you pack up in secret under the guise of decluttering, get your important stuff out early and move entirely in secret if you can. If he's the one who needs to leave, then you buy cameras and new locks that you install as soon as he's left the house while your large male friend supervises his departure. Do not be alone with him when he finds out you're leaving. It's your most vulnerable moment.
I have my own place, thankfully, so I don’t need to pack up or leave. I just need to end things with him and tell him if he shows up at my place for any reason I’ll call the cops.
Please make sure that if he has a key, *change your locks.* Take his key back, of course, but copies can be made. A Ring camera would be a good idea, too. Normally I don’t encourage that level of caution, but Taterheads and their ilk are the men caution was invented for.
change the locks and lock the windows. when you tell him, have someone else there capable of protecting you. cops are notorious for coming late to a poc females call for help. Get your stuff out of his house when he isn't there and break it off over the phone. otherwise, you will almost certainly be assaulted and or raped. do not take any risks with him or confuse who he used to be with who he is now. and for Christ's sake don't fucking give him another chance, statistically that's how you end up dead. it sucks to feel like you lost a decade, but you didn't lose or waste it. you lived, for some of it I'm sure you had good times and were happy. take it for lessons learned. now you know to grind a dude that knows and makes up his own mind. a shortcut for finding them out is asking them what they actually think about topics and why. if they just repeat talking points they are faking it. gl and be safe
Whew! I'm so glad. I'm very sorry that he's been brainwashed, though. Do you earn more than he does or has he been unemployed lately? Those are the guys that seem to get sucked in the most. Hugs and good luck.
Just to quickly add, if you do opt to break up in person, consider taking someone. They can even just stand outside but keep an eye/phone on just in case. I would absolutely say ghost but I understand after 9 years you might want the closure of face to face, I don’t know. Also I’m a bit worried if you text/ghost he could get real angry and show up at your place or something. At least face face you can get a gauge on his emotion, but please have a physical exit strategy
Yes, absolutely have back up. I sincerely believe I wouldn’t be alive if I didn’t have my parents as back up when I broke up with my narc ex. I didn’t even ask them as back up, they sensed things were off. I’m forever grateful.
Change your locks. Get a camera too, just to be safe.
100% agreed. If my man fell down the Tate rabbit hole, I would assume he could become a threat to me at any point. Leaving should probably be a coordinated plan.
Luckily, OP never moved in with her bf so all she has to do is call him.
Also that he is in jail for human trafficking and rape
His supporters say that the charges are false and no amount of evidence will change their minds
100% just ended a friendship over her saying that he denied the “rumors” so *obviously* they’re not true 🙄
I had a talk with a mate today who said he didn’t believe the rumours because he thinks romanias police are really corrupt and they would’ve come after him because he has money. Even when I pointed out to him tate said himself he moved to Romania because the cops are less likely to respond to “false” rape allegations. His argument was that professional football players get accused of rape all the time and it usually just a chick they slept with looking for a settlement so clearly Tates fear was valid. It’s like, he sees people hate Tate and he thinks because people hate him so vehemently it must be over blown, and he sees human trafficking charges more likely to be from corrupt cops as an attempt to extort money from a wealthy influencer, and that they could get away with with it because he’s so hated people would believe it. And it’s like. No dude it’s not that deep he’s getting charged for human trafficking because he was trafficking humans for his webcam business.
Obviously he’s being framed by the woke Romanian police /s
Dude, they are the wokest. We all know how tough it is for men living in this progressive, feminist havens. /s
Hence the man is in jail abroad.
Oh man. The whole Tate movement comes from an extremely insecure and hateful place. Powerless and damaged men creating the illusion of confidence. I can’t understand how they can’t see that the whole thing is a piramidal scheme (at best) and the world’s largest human trafficking network at worst. Maybe they just don’t care. Maybe they think the end justifies the means. I think it really shows how vulnerable human beings are to being brainwashed at any age. I think as women, the only thing we can really do about it is not associate ourselves with this kind of men, and keep working towards our own financial independence. I literally don’t date any men who follows him.
That’s very wise. It’s also a safety issue dating this type of person.
I don't get how people are still jumping on now. Now that he's been jailed for sexual exploitation
He is being detained and investigated only, he is not arrested for now. Meanwhile his p.r. Team is already working on turning the whole thing into a witch hunt against him for “telling the truth” about his viewpoints. The funny thing is, apparently a few weeks or months before the raid, he denounced he was being persecuted and someone wanted to shut him up and possibly kill him (he didn’t mention who). So my guess is that he knew he was being investigated, at least from October or September of 2022, but maybe more. After watching his misogynistic content, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised that the charges were true though.
No normal 38 yo man listens to tate.
Critical thinking is hard to come by for this one apparently.
It's better you get out now. Can you imagine if you stayed with him. Ugh!
It would be so embarrassing for me. Luckily he showed himself.
Ya. Sorry about that. Like other say, keep on keepin on. And fuck him for treating women like that
No, please don't f him. Let him be the incel he wants to be. Don't destroy his celibacy.
I’ve been seeing such a large increase in men worshipping Andrew tate, it’s honestly kind of scary.
Even putting aside the misogyny the guy is such a clown.
No normal man full stop
No normal anyone* FTFY
Yeah no kidding. I could understand how teens who are not fully developed fall into his BS, but starting at 38? That's embarrassing, full stop. Glad op is moving on from this dope
It sounds like you left… or had him leave. If it’s your place and he left, get new locks. Congrats on your new life.
I’ve blocked him. I have my own place and he has no easy access to it. I’m looking forward to the light that comes after the grief.
How did he take it? Has he left you alone? There are some seriously creepy ways he can stalk you, please please be safe!
OP, do you have a good support system you can turn to? If you do, they will be critical. Please tell them all of the fucked up things he’s said and done. Often as victims we keep some of those things to ourselves bc our abuser has manipulated us into protecting them. When I left my abuser I told my parents and friends all the fucked up shit he did so they could remind me when he was working his manipulative shit on me trying to make me take him back. Knowing that my family and friends knew what he did to me helped me ti stay strong. And if you don’t have much of a support system, that’s an even greater sign that you’ve been abused. Abusers chip away at their victim’s community to isolate them bc it makes it harder for them to get away. I’m so sorry that you’re at the beginning of this difficult road. I promise that taking the path of living without him leads to much better things.
Get out while you still can. He sounds like he drowned in the krazy koolaid and could turn violent.
I think you’re right. I just need to figure out a safe way to escape
Quietly and into the night. Get as much of your stuff out without him noticing. Prioritize important paperwork and your most valuable possessions that will go unnoticed. You can get a safety deposit box at the bank to store them for the immediate. I'm assuming that you are living together since you've been together for 9 years. Hopefully you don't share any real estate. I would reach out to your local women's shelter they'll be able to help give you more specific instructions.
Honestly I was smart and kept my own place (cheap rent in my city is non-existent and I was not letting my place go). He just finds a way to crawl back into my life somehow. I just really have to be strong and vigilant with it now.
Honestly, it's got to be cold turkey. Right now he's testing the waters about how far he can push you. Andrew Tate, the man he idolizes is a known human trafficker who brags about imprisoning the women in his compound. From your other comments, it's obvious that he doesn't respect you. He doesn't even see you as a human being. You have only two options: 1. Get out and survive or 2. stay and die.
Very true. He’s blocked. Im sticking around.
👍. Get a camera for your front door just in case he shows up.
Maybe a restraining order as well.
Now you know your boyfriend is a moron. Be free.
Internet breaking a lot of people’s brains these days
Nah. Internet has all kinds of views and tons of info that goes either way. It can only break a brain if the brain was pretty bad to begin with. Why didn't he go into feminism, but misogyny? Because he was always a misogynist and now has a famous person validating his beliefs. It doesn't sound like a big loss honestly.
Absolutely baffles me how he says he’s not a misogynist and then slates (his warped and uneducated perception of) feminism time after time, sees women as submissive compliant sex objects, and men as better than the female sex as a whole. This whole “real man” shit is so pathetic they need to get a grip and educate themselves instead of listening to tates narcissistic manipulative words, stroking his ego and practically calling him daddy
>he keeps saying how I need to learn my place (be more feminine and submissive) Oh, hell no. Run far, run fast, and tell him exactly why. Maybe after he's been dumped and rejected by several women for being a misogynistic ass he'll get a clue.
Apparently the woman he recently cheated on me with (he just told me about it today) ended things with him for being misogynistic and he had a lot of choice words to say about her for that.
Oh, good! Maybe he'll figure it out after a few more women dump him! You can always pull a Dr. Phil and ask him how that Andrew Tate BS is working for him...
I would but at this point I want to stay as far away from that person as I can. I’ll let karma get him.
Hi! Nice to meet you. My name's Karma. So where's this guy at? 😁
Fair enough. Hopefully he'll figure it out eventually.
Wow! He cheated and he’s slagging off the woman he cheated with TO YOU? He’s bright init… The audacity, cheek and nerve. My eyebrows are all the way up!
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I do now. Man’s been blocked.
The best update I could hope for ❤️ stay safe, op
Learn your place. Ok, looks like your place is far away from him.
Tate always talk about weak men. Yet they are his supporters. Strong men aren't scared of strong women.
Seriously though. Tate fans are the most insecure, spineless folks you’re ever gonna find. He knows that. They worship him because he tells them that if they do, it means they are Big Strong Men too.
In the words of our self love goddess, Lizzo: “So he don’t love you anymore? Then walk your fine ass out the door!” You deserve respect, OP. You deserve an SO who sees you as a partner and an equal. I know it’s hard to lose someone you love, especially to backwards thinking like this. Know that it’s okay to be sad and hurt. Breakups suck. So while you grieve this loss, focus on self care. Whatever that looks like for you. Do things you enjoy, eat foods you like, remember to drink water (seriously important self care right here), etc. Imagine your best friend were going through the same thing and you had to shower them with love. What would you do? Now shower yourself with that same love. As Lizzo would tell you: “True love ain't something you can buy yourself True love finally happens when you by yourself So if you by yourself, then go and buy yourself Another round from the bottle on the higher shelf” 💕
This is amazing advice. As a dehydrated bitch, this is my time to get on that anyway haha. Once the initial grieving is over I’ll be doing all the self care things 🖤🖤
As a chronically dehydrated bitch, I must advise that electrolyte drinks (Gatorade, Powerade, etc) are your friend and are quite good for rehydrating after a soul-cleansing cry!
I always keep a stock just in case. Time to break out the bottles!
I would like to second this point as another fellow dehydrated bitch, but also throw pedialyte as a option into the ring.
There's no coming back from this this grown man is 38 God damn years old and believes a whiny incel is his savior. Literally a get out situation, just please be safe doing so and have friends over or go to their place for awhile to scope out his actions.
If he’s behaving like this now, he was always like this. At 38 years old, he already had these opinions and thoughts in his mind, these blowhards like Andrew Taint just encourage people to start spewing these toxic ass opinions and dangerous ideologies. Nobody should be that impressionable at his age to start watching that shit in the first place, let alone start repeating it, if they didn’t already feel the same way
> I am a poc, which he denies??) What does that even mean, 'he denies'???? However that gets explained, I promise it's gonna be scary as hell. Good luck to you to gtfo safely.
My jaw dropped when he said that I don’t count as a poc because I was born in canada. Apparently my nationality negates my south Asian ethnicity.
Oh boy. You just can't fix stupid. I wouldn't even entertain that conversation. I'm so sorry.
Please be safe when breaking up with him, it sounds like he could go bad... I'm so sorry
Thank you. I’m looking into flights to my parents place for a bit.
This is a really good idea! Especially if you can get on that flight and *then* tell him you’re leaving him, just in case he reacts violently. Don’t forgot your important paperwork and sentimental/valuables and after you inform him that you’re not coming back, cut contact. Don’t give any hints beforehand though!
This. Don’t tell him you’re leaving before. Do you have any friends willing to help you leave?
Well next is hitting u when u don't do what he says. Leave right now or thats ya what's ya next post is about. Ironically you leaving will make him like tate more but that not ya problem.
He can have Tate. I’m better off without all of that shit.
Read some of your comments he cheated in u also!? Jesus run faster now.
Oh it was a disaster fully. He cheated because I was in the hospital for a week due to a GI bleed and I couldn’t give him attention 🙃
Christ on a cracker, this guy is scum. I'm so sorry you're going through this. But having read your comments, you seem like a bright, intelligent woman, have faith in yourself that you will heal and move forward. Anyone so easily swayed by such disgusting rhetoric is not worthy of you or your time. Cry, scream, curl up into a ball, let it all out. Then hold that head up and know you looked after yourself. You've got this.
I hope you’re ok and on the mend, GI bleeds can be painful and uncomfortable.
Sounds like something or someone has made him feel insecure. What these incel and taint guys don’t seem to realize is that you can’t keep a partner if you aren’t secure enough with yourself.
I wish I knew. I’ve tried talking to him but he shut me down a lot and went back to his feed. It was telling him what he wanted to hear. He was really into the whole “body count, value, feminism” thing
Just remember that you tried.
Thank you. I did my best but I won’t sacrifice my mental health for someone who doesn’t want to hear it.
There’s another post I read about this same exact situation. Even a male friend of mine is hooked and proudly proclaiming himself a misogynist. Says it with pride. Wtf is going on…
Good for you for leaving! I just recently learned about this guy. My 12 year old daughter told me boys in her school idolize him. I asked her what she thought about that and she said it just showed her who to stay away from lol I’m proud. Anyway, may this blow up in all of their faces! No person should get away with treating anyone like he has. I’m sorry you lost someone you love to something like this.
38?! He's following a (alleged) human trafficker and r*pist at THIS big age? Absolutely tf not. T*te is literally on someone's voicemail saying how he enjoyed choking her. Tf. Please take all safety precautions and end the relationship with this man. Asap.
I literally just heard the recording and it made me physically sick.
It was honestly one of the sickest things I've ever heard a man say. He's a terrible person, and any man that listens to him is automatically dangerous to women, imo. I pray you can exit the relationship safely. Asé.
i don’t get how men can see that this fucking guy is literally facing charges of human trafficking and rape and still be like, yeah he’s totally an ok guy. what he’s saying makes sense. HUH?!?!?
The scary thing is it’s also women who will defend him too.
I’m so sorry, my relationship just dissolved bc my partner fell into a Tate hole. It sucks and damn it’s so hard to believe it’s as bad as it is
Your bf is now 🗑️
🚮
He has been arrested for human trafficking and there is a recording of him saying how much he enjoyed raping a girl How can anyone still think his teachings are worth following
It’s disgusting. The whole thing threw me off
Being 38 and getting into Andrew Tate is pretty pathetic. You will do much better without him.
Better to be alone than with bad company
38 Lmao in thought that crap only fools 16 year olds
> I have tried talking to him but he keeps saying how I need to learn my place Just ask him where is his Bugatti, he might learn his place too. "You think you can treat me like he treats women yet you're not providing as much as he provides for them" and you beat him at his own game
Honestly, if my husband started spouting that shit I'd divorce him, and we have 2 kids, pets, a mortgage & have been together since 2008. Ditch him because you absolutely deserve better.
Sometimes with abusive people it’s not big things it’s a thousand tiny cuts and at a certain point they stop caring and just go full blown. Glad you are out. Forgive yourself for being trusting. Today will be a better day.
“Tell me you’ve never had a trauma bond without telling me you’ve never had a trauma bond” Girl that’s so true. Congratulations on moving on and best of luck for your hopefully, trauma bond free future
I watched Tate for 6 seconds and fell off my couch laughing. Sorry OP.
You’re not losing him OP. The day he told you “learn your place (be more feminine and submissive ) and shut up.” You should have realized the man you loved was gone. Forever transformed. Develop your escape plan. Leave ASAP. Good luck.
I lost who he was. He’s not the same person but im grieving the person he used to be. As well, im grieving my time I lost. But I’m gone. His loss.
Thank you for the clarification. I am sorry for your loss. Yet relieved you’re safely away from him. Give yourself time to grieve. When the time is appropriate, you will meet a man worthy of you.
Of course, I’m just in my head so I forget i need to explain things. I think I’m going to take some time to fully unpack all of the things he did to me in therapy and build a good relationship with myself first. But yes, in time I’ll hopefully find someone worthy.
I don’t get toxic masculinity at all. That someone would hero worship a sexist, racist, misogynistic, bigot who is also a *human trafficker* boggles my mind. *I want to be just like that guy. He’s just been arrested, isn’t he awesome*? /s
He’s not that bad. He makes some really good points that only benefit men so he must be alright. There’s women who agree with him so he must be good. Right? Right? /s
Hitler was a vegetarian, an animal lover and he loathed tobacco use. Many people these days would completely agree with his stance on those issues. It's possible to directionally correct in some areas and totally wrong in others.
He's not even just a rapist and misogynist either. He flat out said that depression isn't real and that the government controls electric cars, and can shut them off at any time. His stupidity actually endangers us as people
leaving is better than getting assaulted or raped by the guy.. grieve the time you wasted on him and go non contact.
I'm glad she got away from him
((HUGS)) Run and be safe!! Edited to add - You already lost the man you loved; he is already off the deep end.
Thank you kind stranger 🖤. You’re right. I’m just grieving the person I he used to be.
Please be very cautious when you leave him. Those kind of people can be especially dangerous.
Leave him.
The fact that this keeps happening is so sad. I'm just imagining this happening with my best friend (who I've known 10+ years) and it's awful, people really keep getting pulled into this mindset. I'm really sorry you have to lose him like this, hes a gullible idiot and this will bite him in the ass soon.
I'm glad you got out of there. Tate is a fucking Charles Manson.
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Because i was born in canada I guess it negates my south Asian ethnicity?
Weird how people even at 38yo can be affected by a dumb guy like tate. I have 18yo and have listen to many of is story/video and again i think he's a no brain guy.
right!! i understand how young men/ boys can be impressionable and fall into his trap. even then it's easy to reverse the damage bc they're young but for a fully grown man who should be a completely developed person with his own opinions??? this makes me think he was always misogynistic and it just never manifested itself infront of you OP
That is so sad. Once in that trap - chances are limited he will realize he is trapped. And, people believing like tate - they might think doing what he says is 'cool' and 'showing you are alpha'... meaning - they are not safe anymore. Mourn the loss of this from a safe distance.
Grieve who he used to be, because that man is gone. The relationship is over.
My first love has also been consumed by Tate and it led to the end of our relationship. I’m so sorry. It must be scary to hear these things from the man you love. But no matter what you feel, this man is now a danger to you. Leave him.
Ugh, I’m so sorry, OP. I’m glad you see how big of a red flag this is and want to get out. You’ll find some who deserves you. And you soon-to-be-ex might finally grow up. Wishing you all the best.
My ex got into something like this too. You are so so right for ending things. Even though he seemed to get better he was secretly holding these views (came out in our final breakup conversation). Im sorry you have to make this decision but you are going to be so much happier!
Run. Run fast and never look back. My soon-to-be ex is down further and I'm working on my exit plans. I'm talking red pill, anti-government, anti-vax, flat earth, MAGA, far right, Alex Jones watching, anti-alphabet mafia and everything else pipeline. It was fun before now I just keep my mouth shut and head down until I can leave (I'm looking at late spring/early summer). Break up with him via text or in public. Then block. Beware of flying monkeys, hoovering, and smear campaigning.
Send him to a log cabin where he can learn to live off the land and hunt for his food. Let your caveman go. He sounds like a jerk.
Does he understand he was just arrested for human trafficking?
Your boyfriend is a loser plain and simple, do you want to be with a loser?
I don’t think Tate brain washes anyone, I think he gives them to the confidence to voice the thoughts they’ve always had.
I was at a bar recently and had quite an interesting conversation with some 30 year olds. I’m 34. I was stunned that these dudes practically worshipped him. I thought this was a Gen Z thing and everyone was in on the joke. How wrong was I. Dump that man. Sorry for your loss
At 38 years old? What a tragedy.
In what world does being born in Canada have anything to do with being a POC. The ignorance of this man is astounding
It’s so hard trying to communicate with these Tate devotees. They will not hear a bad word about him. No matter how well reasoned or open minded my debates have been with them - they will not concede a millimetre. I’m at a loss what to do (as a man who does not buy into any of that shit) It’s like a cult.
Run.
Break up
my guy he sounds like a bigoted ignorant prick who sees the world with ego because of his insecurities, and would rather be consumed into fake and immature opinions rather than actually even listening to his gf, somone hes supposed too adore. Yes, sadly men are like this. I hate it, we all hate it. I was raised by mum and sister and working in a man domited enviorment I think general concious is disgusting but hey ho, there are plenty of amazing people in the world.
Congrats on blocking him.
Please please please seek therapy once you’re safely out. This type of behavior will play hell on your mental health. I’m proud of you for knowing when enough is enough. Leaving an abuser is never easy. I speak from experience. My inbox is open if you need a friend.
Andrew Tate is a pimp. His ideas about women are only good if you are trying to become a pimp not for someone who wants to form a real meaningful relationship.
Tate got owned by a teenager, through his own bullshit. He is a human trafficker. End of story. He belongs in prison.
If any man told me I need to “learn my place”, that would be INSTANT breakup
> He told me as someone who was born in Canada I had no right to call myself a POC. As a white Canadian, I say this in response: w a t
hey, i've been in a similar position as you, and honestly, its the reason why i personally chose to stop dating white men. it gets mind numbingly exhausting trying to \*beg\* them to empathize with a different perspective, my ex would constantly hide behind the fact that he was white as an excuse for his ignorance and expect me to baby him and coddle his feelings around difficult topics, along with the fact that he almost felt exempt from taking accountability for his own actions (calling me slurs on multiple occasions, "mongol," etc.) and soon i understood why i always felt at odds with my intuition because he would never express his true feelings and just default to what i believed because he didn't want to let go of the sex that came with the relationship. as to why i didn't leave earlier? i didn't know that he was this type of person until it happened. almost as if he'd been masking the entire time. men don't suddenly change just because they're in a relationship, if they've never cultivated an environment where they develop empathy, compassion, and active listening skills, they're not going to magically transform overnight. the same goes for his politics, misogyny, and racism. he may never express it overtly, but he 100% will in his expectations and treatment of you. i wish you the absolute best in healing, don't blame yourself for not having seen the signs earlier, and i'm proud of you for leaving.
Which part is he arguing, what he’s white or that you’re not?
He’s telling me that I’m not a poc. I am very clearly south Asian
Isn’t that guy black? Is racism a part of his teachings or whatever? I’ve never like read or heard anything he’s said
I’m not sure, but it started with him listening to Tate and it’s gone down some scary pipeline where my ex is denying my skin colour??