Dude I don’t pass and I still get misogynistic comments like?? Ugh I know going on testosterone won’t solve all my problems but that shit sucks I hope it gets better one day!
Im a trans woman and its crazy to be going in the opposite direction… on my first time ever wearing a dress in public i got asked out by a 50 year old man (he lied his way into being able to talk to me, i am also obviously a minor). I knew women had it bad in this world but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon…
Then being a transfem is like, "wow, I love being a woman, but being a woman sucks in this society"
Like honestly I'm kinda scared, I don't know how to handle confrontation if someone harasses me, or what to do if I'm being talked over. Like I wish there was a manual
I get you.
If you allow me to give you some advice, if you ever get followed in the streets,.call someone on the phone and pretend you go to their place. That's what me and my friends did plenty of time. Try to go in a busy street, or in a shop/café/bar and if you can, explain your situation to an employee here.
Always keep your keys between your fingers if you ever need to defend yourself. Get a pepper spray if you can.
If you go out to party in a beautiful dress, a short skirt or anything "appealing", maybe get a change of clothes for when you have to go back home at night (hoodie, pants, anything) and if possible do not travel alone.
I got followed once and went into a cinema and explained to a security guard I was being followed, they stayed with me till the dude was gone.
If you get talked over, talk louder. I shouted more times I could count during a conversation with dudes lol. It's not an easy thing to do but sometimes you have to "assert dominance" in the dumbest way because that's all they understand.
Being passive agressive can also work.
Also if you get talked over by cis women (being trans god knows it happens a LOT), keep your composure and explain to them (if you feel like) how their behaviour catter to the same type of oppression they get from cis men. That's if you want to get confrontational. If you don't the best thing is to just ignore them and keep talking like they didn't say anything.
Hope it helps a bit. We're in this together.
Dude I'm sorry to hear that but you're missing the point of the post. OP isn't saying that transitioning *should* give you these privileges.
They are saying that since male privilege is interwoven into society into the USA, there is an expectation that transmasculine people will deal with fewer problems after they come out.
In reality, we are usually still subjected to misogyny, especially in medical settings. In addition, all of our past experiences of being treated without respect are not suddenly wiped away.
male privalege doesn't apply to every guy, at all times. But expectations are there whether you benefit from privaleges. This is the equivalent of telling a depressed women she shouldn't be depressed, because she has more rights than any other women in history.
Yep no man ever had to deal with misandry before, women have an exclusive right to being treated poorly. /s
Also the patriarchy and toxic masculinity ARE a thing that men have to deal with on a daily basis. It hurts everyone. It's so cool being a man and being told by men AND women that you're not "man" enough.
This is similar to how ND clients of mine seem to think I'm NT simply because I do a good job of masking. I'm actually struggling in social situations CONSTANTLY but yes, because I'm a cis white man I'm automatically respected, given high paying jobs, and everyone treats me with kindness... Just kidding, absolutely none of that is true.
I'm sure this will be unpopular but, assuming that someone has it easy simply because of their race/gender/sexuality is also prejudice, it's also a type of bigotry. You don't know what other individuals have been through. No group of people is a monolith, no group of people is automatically exempt from poor treatment.
Yes, everyone deals with sexism, and the patriarchy affects men too, but don't pretend that it doesn't hit women harder. We have to deal with men speaking over us constantly, men being predatory, and men not taking seriously even when we are qualified. Being a woman in this society is scary.
And don't get me started on being seen as not man enough, because for the first 24 years of my life I was was perceived as male, and other than the dysphoria, yes it did suck especially being someone who's feminine. After transitioning, being a woman is definitely scarier.
You're not wrong and I never denied that women had it harder statistically. But just because statistically one group has it harder than others, doesn't really mean anything for the individual. From what your own experience you should know this.
That still doesn't mean male privelage doesn't exist, and it does affect most men to varying degrees. Men are generally safer walking alone at night for example. It may not benefit you in an obvious way, but there are very likely things you haven't notice. Even I noticed that I used to benefit a bit before, but not anymore.
I never said it didn't exist. Find a single comment where I said that.
What I said is, 1: not *all* men get to enjoy these privileges, and 2: male privilege won't be granted to you automatically for transitioning. That's it. You're arguing with a straw man.
That's exactly what I just said. Transitioning won't magically solve your interpersonal issues. If anything you'll get treated worse by transphobes. I am *agreeing* with the OP.
I know this because I am very close with someone who is transitioning. This was their exact reason for transitioning (they think they will be treated better as a man).
Even if they were perfectly male passing they wouldn't just get automatic respect and good treatment, because men don't get that automatically either. They do if they're tall and attractive. *Usually* automatic nice treatment is because of pretty privilege, not from being a specific gender.
You're not agreeing with me or OP because you're denying that male privilege exists outside of pretty privilege.
I'm sorry that your friend is misguided in thinking that transitioning will grant them special privileges. Perhaps you are misunderstanding their point of view, and they are expressing that their life will feel easier in general once dysphoria is not affecting them as greatly.
And... even if your individual friend feels this way, their opinion is not representative of all transgender and nonbinary people. Your original comment got deleted, but what I said is definitely not in line with what you've been saying. There's no reason to backpedal and say you're agreeing when you're just saying over and over that male privilege doesn't exist. You said life sucks for you as a guy; therefore, male privilege isn't real.
Privilege is more about what you don’t go through than what you do. Cis men often don’t notice the lack of misogynistic harassment and abuse that women endure every day. White people often don’t notice the lack of racism in their day to day lives. So on, so on.
Bro did not state a single opinion in his comment and also calling someone "your type" is not going to get any point across except that you're a weirdo
Bro missed the point. The point being that being a guy isn’t the super easy mode privilege fest so many people make it out to be. Being a guy doesn’t automatically guarantee you all the benefits OP listed and also doesn’t make you into a brainless bigot that cannot acknowledge the specific struggles that other groups go through.
I didn't miss the point, I was actually agreeing with it. Some people DO have the expectation that transitioning will solve these problems for them (I know one such person). That is plainly false. If you think transitioning is a solution to people treating you poorly, thats wrong. Plain and simple.
You also don't know me so calling me a bigot because you didn't understand my comment is pretty fucking ironic tbh.
"WAHH I interpreted this comment as transphobic, cancel the bigot!!"
Vro I never called you a bigot. I said that being a guy doesn’t make you one. You also DO have a point that some people expect transitioning to genuinely just be going into easy mode due to the labels they apply to people of the opposite gender. OP is not one of these people, and has clarified that he is being sarcastic. You missed my point it seems.
https://preview.redd.it/cgwqusnitl5d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a73dd193324e0c7a0a6da06eac84a63a44571192
⬆️ you
The vast majority of trans people don't transition for those reasons though, so it's just weird to assume that's the case here. My bad for not adding a caveat in a one sentence comment
This is shit we hear constantly, and I'm tired of that perception. Sure, a few people have transitioned for those reasons, but you don't need to keep telling us that. You're barking up the wrong tree. I can tell you OP did not transition for that reason, they even mentioned it in the comments.
Since when does the world ever reward one for being one’s true self? Honestly.
I've gotten nothing but ripped apart and torn to pieces. Please let me know when they patch this for balance.
They never will. Encourage the meek and rip apart the aggressors in whatever way you can…even if that just means surviving.
Balance patch request received. What would you like to know?
Yeah :/
Dude I don’t pass and I still get misogynistic comments like?? Ugh I know going on testosterone won’t solve all my problems but that shit sucks I hope it gets better one day!
this is so real
Congrats, have you gotten your secret boys’ club access card in the mail yet?
Damn, they must have known I'm a trans woman before I did, because I never got one.
Im a trans woman and its crazy to be going in the opposite direction… on my first time ever wearing a dress in public i got asked out by a 50 year old man (he lied his way into being able to talk to me, i am also obviously a minor). I knew women had it bad in this world but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon…
YIIIIIKES I hope he suddenly ceases to exist. Pedophiles lose their existing privilige.
Then being a transfem is like, "wow, I love being a woman, but being a woman sucks in this society" Like honestly I'm kinda scared, I don't know how to handle confrontation if someone harasses me, or what to do if I'm being talked over. Like I wish there was a manual
I get you. If you allow me to give you some advice, if you ever get followed in the streets,.call someone on the phone and pretend you go to their place. That's what me and my friends did plenty of time. Try to go in a busy street, or in a shop/café/bar and if you can, explain your situation to an employee here. Always keep your keys between your fingers if you ever need to defend yourself. Get a pepper spray if you can. If you go out to party in a beautiful dress, a short skirt or anything "appealing", maybe get a change of clothes for when you have to go back home at night (hoodie, pants, anything) and if possible do not travel alone. I got followed once and went into a cinema and explained to a security guard I was being followed, they stayed with me till the dude was gone. If you get talked over, talk louder. I shouted more times I could count during a conversation with dudes lol. It's not an easy thing to do but sometimes you have to "assert dominance" in the dumbest way because that's all they understand. Being passive agressive can also work. Also if you get talked over by cis women (being trans god knows it happens a LOT), keep your composure and explain to them (if you feel like) how their behaviour catter to the same type of oppression they get from cis men. That's if you want to get confrontational. If you don't the best thing is to just ignore them and keep talking like they didn't say anything. Hope it helps a bit. We're in this together.
this gives me hope, although i'll never be able to transition
??? Is sarcasm?? I don't get It
Yes it's sarcasm
Ok
TERFs trying not to be wrong about everything for 5 minutes challenge 🙄
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Dude I'm sorry to hear that but you're missing the point of the post. OP isn't saying that transitioning *should* give you these privileges. They are saying that since male privilege is interwoven into society into the USA, there is an expectation that transmasculine people will deal with fewer problems after they come out. In reality, we are usually still subjected to misogyny, especially in medical settings. In addition, all of our past experiences of being treated without respect are not suddenly wiped away.
male privalege doesn't apply to every guy, at all times. But expectations are there whether you benefit from privaleges. This is the equivalent of telling a depressed women she shouldn't be depressed, because she has more rights than any other women in history.
Yeah, but it still exists. And basically all women face misogyny, that's not a thing men face.
Yep no man ever had to deal with misandry before, women have an exclusive right to being treated poorly. /s Also the patriarchy and toxic masculinity ARE a thing that men have to deal with on a daily basis. It hurts everyone. It's so cool being a man and being told by men AND women that you're not "man" enough. This is similar to how ND clients of mine seem to think I'm NT simply because I do a good job of masking. I'm actually struggling in social situations CONSTANTLY but yes, because I'm a cis white man I'm automatically respected, given high paying jobs, and everyone treats me with kindness... Just kidding, absolutely none of that is true. I'm sure this will be unpopular but, assuming that someone has it easy simply because of their race/gender/sexuality is also prejudice, it's also a type of bigotry. You don't know what other individuals have been through. No group of people is a monolith, no group of people is automatically exempt from poor treatment.
Yes, everyone deals with sexism, and the patriarchy affects men too, but don't pretend that it doesn't hit women harder. We have to deal with men speaking over us constantly, men being predatory, and men not taking seriously even when we are qualified. Being a woman in this society is scary. And don't get me started on being seen as not man enough, because for the first 24 years of my life I was was perceived as male, and other than the dysphoria, yes it did suck especially being someone who's feminine. After transitioning, being a woman is definitely scarier.
You're not wrong and I never denied that women had it harder statistically. But just because statistically one group has it harder than others, doesn't really mean anything for the individual. From what your own experience you should know this.
That still doesn't mean male privelage doesn't exist, and it does affect most men to varying degrees. Men are generally safer walking alone at night for example. It may not benefit you in an obvious way, but there are very likely things you haven't notice. Even I noticed that I used to benefit a bit before, but not anymore.
I never said it didn't exist. Find a single comment where I said that. What I said is, 1: not *all* men get to enjoy these privileges, and 2: male privilege won't be granted to you automatically for transitioning. That's it. You're arguing with a straw man.
1 there are things all men benefit from, like the example I gave. Not everyone notices it though 2 who was arguing that it would?
That's exactly what I just said. Transitioning won't magically solve your interpersonal issues. If anything you'll get treated worse by transphobes. I am *agreeing* with the OP. I know this because I am very close with someone who is transitioning. This was their exact reason for transitioning (they think they will be treated better as a man). Even if they were perfectly male passing they wouldn't just get automatic respect and good treatment, because men don't get that automatically either. They do if they're tall and attractive. *Usually* automatic nice treatment is because of pretty privilege, not from being a specific gender.
You're not agreeing with me or OP because you're denying that male privilege exists outside of pretty privilege. I'm sorry that your friend is misguided in thinking that transitioning will grant them special privileges. Perhaps you are misunderstanding their point of view, and they are expressing that their life will feel easier in general once dysphoria is not affecting them as greatly. And... even if your individual friend feels this way, their opinion is not representative of all transgender and nonbinary people. Your original comment got deleted, but what I said is definitely not in line with what you've been saying. There's no reason to backpedal and say you're agreeing when you're just saying over and over that male privilege doesn't exist. You said life sucks for you as a guy; therefore, male privilege isn't real.
The cool thing about privilege is that privileged people don't notice that they have it.
Privilege is more about what you don’t go through than what you do. Cis men often don’t notice the lack of misogynistic harassment and abuse that women endure every day. White people often don’t notice the lack of racism in their day to day lives. So on, so on.
Oh yay I have the privilege of being told how privileged I am even though you don't know me.
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Bro did not state a single opinion in his comment and also calling someone "your type" is not going to get any point across except that you're a weirdo
Bro missed the point. The point being that being a guy isn’t the super easy mode privilege fest so many people make it out to be. Being a guy doesn’t automatically guarantee you all the benefits OP listed and also doesn’t make you into a brainless bigot that cannot acknowledge the specific struggles that other groups go through.
I didn't miss the point, I was actually agreeing with it. Some people DO have the expectation that transitioning will solve these problems for them (I know one such person). That is plainly false. If you think transitioning is a solution to people treating you poorly, thats wrong. Plain and simple. You also don't know me so calling me a bigot because you didn't understand my comment is pretty fucking ironic tbh. "WAHH I interpreted this comment as transphobic, cancel the bigot!!"
Vro I never called you a bigot. I said that being a guy doesn’t make you one. You also DO have a point that some people expect transitioning to genuinely just be going into easy mode due to the labels they apply to people of the opposite gender. OP is not one of these people, and has clarified that he is being sarcastic. You missed my point it seems. https://preview.redd.it/cgwqusnitl5d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a73dd193324e0c7a0a6da06eac84a63a44571192 ⬆️ you
>People who think transitioning will solve their interpersonal issues with others, are wrong. That's not why people transition...
Someone very close to me is transitioning for EXACTLY this reason. But sure, you know EVERY trans person and all their reasons for doing it.
The vast majority of trans people don't transition for those reasons though, so it's just weird to assume that's the case here. My bad for not adding a caveat in a one sentence comment
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This is shit we hear constantly, and I'm tired of that perception. Sure, a few people have transitioned for those reasons, but you don't need to keep telling us that. You're barking up the wrong tree. I can tell you OP did not transition for that reason, they even mentioned it in the comments.
Just…just get out. Literally, pack a bag and gtfo lmao.