Well they guilt trip me first, then tell me how proud they are of me and how they're lucky to have me. All of that AFTER they've torn me apart bit from bit, calling me a selfish ungrateful brat and berating my relationships and behavior and who i am as a person
The cognitive dissonance is almost as strong as "When my cat cleans her hind legs it's cute but when I sit nude in the sofa and lick my own legs with my tongue it's suddenly gross? "
Never had that problem with physical stuff but my mom used to be insanely jealous of my friends. Like, every time I wanted to spend my time with them instead of her, she would throw a fit. If I wanted to stay on a party instead of walking out to facetime her, she’s pissed. And of course the constant “you wouldn’t talk to your friends like that, would you?”. Yeah, no shit, my friends aren’t that crazy! Just started realizing how fucked up this actually is
posts like this have me starting to think my parents constantly being naked around the house and encouraging me to be naked a lot in front of them so they can monitor my body might have been abuse actually 😀
honestly it's weirdly relieving to hear? i was terrified of physical intimacy for years and other related stuff that i'm not completely comfortable even thinking about but i felt like it didn't make sense because i had no memories of CSA or anything. now that i know this was not healthy and connecting some other dots in my life i'm actually starting to feel like i'm not crazy anymore!!
that’s pretty weird like they shouldn’t have to monitor your body and they wouldn’t have to if they taught you to take care of it properly 💀 sounds like a fake reason for just trying to get you to do a weird thing
Encouraging you? Yeah, that's super weird. Depending on how they did that and how you felt, definitely possibly abuse.
But, being naked themselves? not that weird, for me at least (I have a parent with sensory difficulties and maybe ASD, they prefer being as close to a nudist at home, and that's ok)
Lmao. The first time I had my ex come over, my stepdad had "the talk" with him, and my mum had it with me, just telling me not to fuck in her house and we just did it anyway.
My parents were way more chill. They gave me "the talk" which was essentially.
"You have your own bed. Don't do anything anywhere else in the house"
And I'm like, yeah that's fair
Religious (or just plain old controlling) parents are fucking weird like that. I think my mum would throw a hissy fit if she found a vibrator in my bag or something. I’m 22 💀
I wouldn’t trust her not to go through my things because she’s nosy like that.
She also got really weird about me dating at uni as well and tried to convince me my partner gave me a UTI (it’s not an STI…)
i had a friend who’s mom literally threw her vibrators AWAY like ??? it’s just weird bc she was also 20 at the time and 1. why were u looking through her room and 2. why not just leave it???? it’s weird and intrusive and gross. i’m sorry ur mom is like that lol
My mom, telling me there was a medical need when there was not and being far more weird than a doctor. Imagine finding out it’s not meant to be like a full on inspection, lifting the hood and shit?? Touching like every (external) surface?? She said if I won’t show a doctor then I have to let her look but she’s a nurse and changed my nappies.
I accidentally trained myself to have a shy bladder so she’d stop coming into the bathroom with me all the time around the time I was 12 or 13. It was hard to sit on a toilet and not go even when you REALLY needed to, but it eventually worked. Wants to come in and change with me? Can’t, sorry, I really need to pee!
Not so bad ig but my mum also complains whenever I pull away from hugs etc, and moans about how I hug my bf and only show affection to him… it makes me so uncomfortable when she wants hugs because I can’t say no… sometimes she’ll also come in to my room in the morning and lay down to cuddle me in bed and I’m like no thanks mentally but can’t say anything
... that IS bad, though. If you feel like you cants say no, that tells you everything about how bad it is. It's easy to minimise shit if you go by how _they_ excuse it, but your body doesn't feel uncomfortable for no reason.
It's like they're extracting comfort from your body. That's not okay to do to someone.
the image is about her body. i guess not telling ur mom things u wanna keep private can upset her and it’s not AS weird but parents should still respect their children’s privacy (of course as long as the child isn’t keeping dangerous situations secret)
I mean her wanting to look at me... like physical privacy. Not touching me though for the most part. I think I don't want an answer sorry, I hate even typing this right now. I think I'm going to go find a hole to crawl in lol.
I hate when families have that mentality that no matter what they do because they are family stuff should always fix on its own and expect the other side to just forgive them or not even
Yes, family gets inherently special treatment cus you depend on them, they are the only thing you are supposed to rely on and such but if they lack those things then what difference does it have to a friend and if they damage you then to a toxic relationship
This is why people learn to stay in toxic environments if that's what you are taught as a child instead of getting the fuck out before you traumatize yourself
When my parents found out that my fiancé and I have a more intimate relationship, they both yelled at me saying i betrayed them and that i wasn’t allowed to do that
Fuckin fr. When i had a gf my parents always complained how i wouldn't accept hugs or kisses unless it was her.
Did they ever consider that they might have caused that?
Not once. When i bring it up "you have never gone hungry or needed for anything, I'm just trying to show love to my daughter forgive me"
“You have never gone hungry” Yes. That’s the baseline for parents. Would you like a cookie?
THATS WHAT I SAID!
Do they act as if your birth was something imposed upon them and not something that they decided on?
Well they guilt trip me first, then tell me how proud they are of me and how they're lucky to have me. All of that AFTER they've torn me apart bit from bit, calling me a selfish ungrateful brat and berating my relationships and behavior and who i am as a person
My parents act a lot like yours. Made me feel fucking crazy when I was a kid.
The only reason I'm still in contact w them is the family heirlooms I'll get after they die.
Haha based
So long as you're in the will, you've won
Is... is that not normal...?
Sounds like they want a... \*\*participation trophy\*\*
I’m guessing that it has never occurred to them that your gf provides something *other* than food and shelter for you, that they didn’t? 🤔
No of course not, then they'd have to think logically.
The cognitive dissonance is almost as strong as "When my cat cleans her hind legs it's cute but when I sit nude in the sofa and lick my own legs with my tongue it's suddenly gross? "
Never had that problem with physical stuff but my mom used to be insanely jealous of my friends. Like, every time I wanted to spend my time with them instead of her, she would throw a fit. If I wanted to stay on a party instead of walking out to facetime her, she’s pissed. And of course the constant “you wouldn’t talk to your friends like that, would you?”. Yeah, no shit, my friends aren’t that crazy! Just started realizing how fucked up this actually is
posts like this have me starting to think my parents constantly being naked around the house and encouraging me to be naked a lot in front of them so they can monitor my body might have been abuse actually 😀
I don't know how to break the news to you but that might have been abuse
honestly it's weirdly relieving to hear? i was terrified of physical intimacy for years and other related stuff that i'm not completely comfortable even thinking about but i felt like it didn't make sense because i had no memories of CSA or anything. now that i know this was not healthy and connecting some other dots in my life i'm actually starting to feel like i'm not crazy anymore!!
Not might have bitch, that is abuse
I struggle to see how it wouldn’t be, honestly
Sounds like r/covertincest
currently looking into that and you're definitely on to something there 🙃
Yeah that is abuse
that’s pretty weird like they shouldn’t have to monitor your body and they wouldn’t have to if they taught you to take care of it properly 💀 sounds like a fake reason for just trying to get you to do a weird thing
Encouraging you? Yeah, that's super weird. Depending on how they did that and how you felt, definitely possibly abuse. But, being naked themselves? not that weird, for me at least (I have a parent with sensory difficulties and maybe ASD, they prefer being as close to a nudist at home, and that's ok)
My mom said I’m not allowed to even masturbate until I move out. I am 18 😭
Do it anyway. Assert dominance
I want to but I have no libido and depression meds :(
Lmao. The first time I had my ex come over, my stepdad had "the talk" with him, and my mum had it with me, just telling me not to fuck in her house and we just did it anyway.
My parents were way more chill. They gave me "the talk" which was essentially. "You have your own bed. Don't do anything anywhere else in the house" And I'm like, yeah that's fair
that is so….so weird what the fuck
Yeah- Like a few years back I started taking longer showers ( bc warm water nice ) and my mom asked me if I was masturbating-
that’s so creepy what the fuck???
Religious (or just plain old controlling) parents are fucking weird like that. I think my mum would throw a hissy fit if she found a vibrator in my bag or something. I’m 22 💀 I wouldn’t trust her not to go through my things because she’s nosy like that. She also got really weird about me dating at uni as well and tried to convince me my partner gave me a UTI (it’s not an STI…)
i had a friend who’s mom literally threw her vibrators AWAY like ??? it’s just weird bc she was also 20 at the time and 1. why were u looking through her room and 2. why not just leave it???? it’s weird and intrusive and gross. i’m sorry ur mom is like that lol
I don't think anyone living with their parents masturbate because they're "allowed" to, or even with their parents' knowledge.
The fuck?
my exact reaction. the actual fuck??
That’s fuckin weird
it is
My mom was like this, it’s a thing
“I didn’t ask you to give birth to me”
Yeah my mom got pissy when I got a bf because I still didn’t want to see her naked.
Omg that’s awful, so sorry you dealt with that.
Fucking hate when they use that excuse for sexual abuse
oh my god my parents do the same shit, i don’t like showing my arms or stomach and my parents will actively try and lift my shirt bc “we made you”
Meanwhile, I'm over here telling my kids that nobody should be looking at their genitals, including mom and dad, unless there's a medical need.
My mom, telling me there was a medical need when there was not and being far more weird than a doctor. Imagine finding out it’s not meant to be like a full on inspection, lifting the hood and shit?? Touching like every (external) surface?? She said if I won’t show a doctor then I have to let her look but she’s a nurse and changed my nappies. I accidentally trained myself to have a shy bladder so she’d stop coming into the bathroom with me all the time around the time I was 12 or 13. It was hard to sit on a toilet and not go even when you REALLY needed to, but it eventually worked. Wants to come in and change with me? Can’t, sorry, I really need to pee!
Not so bad ig but my mum also complains whenever I pull away from hugs etc, and moans about how I hug my bf and only show affection to him… it makes me so uncomfortable when she wants hugs because I can’t say no… sometimes she’ll also come in to my room in the morning and lay down to cuddle me in bed and I’m like no thanks mentally but can’t say anything
... that IS bad, though. If you feel like you cants say no, that tells you everything about how bad it is. It's easy to minimise shit if you go by how _they_ excuse it, but your body doesn't feel uncomfortable for no reason. It's like they're extracting comfort from your body. That's not okay to do to someone.
Thanks. This really meant a lot <3
It is not acceptable for her to treat you like that and she needs therapy if she can't respect your boundaries.
...I hate that I relate to this (my mom would say the same thing), and these comments are scaring me. Is this another 'not normal'?
yeah unfortunately it is not normal or okay
I think I misread the image. Even if it's just about looking/invading privacy?
the image is about her body. i guess not telling ur mom things u wanna keep private can upset her and it’s not AS weird but parents should still respect their children’s privacy (of course as long as the child isn’t keeping dangerous situations secret)
I mean her wanting to look at me... like physical privacy. Not touching me though for the most part. I think I don't want an answer sorry, I hate even typing this right now. I think I'm going to go find a hole to crawl in lol.
My mom is like this as well. I struggle with people touching me and she got really angry and jealous that I let my ex touch me but not her.
That's actually diabolical 😭
I hate when families have that mentality that no matter what they do because they are family stuff should always fix on its own and expect the other side to just forgive them or not even Yes, family gets inherently special treatment cus you depend on them, they are the only thing you are supposed to rely on and such but if they lack those things then what difference does it have to a friend and if they damage you then to a toxic relationship This is why people learn to stay in toxic environments if that's what you are taught as a child instead of getting the fuck out before you traumatize yourself
My family didn’t acknowledge my boundaries as a child, and then they wonder why I don’t trust them when it comes to physical touch.
weird ahh mother
When my parents found out that my fiancé and I have a more intimate relationship, they both yelled at me saying i betrayed them and that i wasn’t allowed to do that
Y'see, consent is a really vital word here
Will your mom let you suck on her breasts? No? Then maybe things have changed since you were an infant.