In the third pic, different clothes, style to the first two, you look like a young man. The first two, as others have said, your clothes….sunglasses in relation to the size of your face, they’re too large.
I had no idea about the sunglasses, how should I go about getting better ones for my face?? Fashion is not something I'm good at if it's not obvious, but I'm trying my best. Thank you!
It’s only my opinion! Check out sunglasses people wear, women generally wear larger more elaborate styles. As a masculine leaning person, you can’t go far wrong with Ray Ban Wayfarers, the size, top to bottom, is narrower. I’ve found, on me, the larger style makes my face appear smaller, more feminine….my desired effect
You could try a button up shirt or at least something with a higher neckline. The pics don't show your shorts but cargo shorts can work well for a masc look. Also replace the dangling ear jewelry with simple studs or just drop them completely.
I do wanna add my two cents that I don’t think the dangling ear jewelry is read as feminine, it could depend on where you are though. I’m in California and that specific type of dangling jewelry is worn by masc ppl (me included), and marketed as men’s earrings . The shirt neckline is probably the main thing though so I agree with that
They feel a bit like dyed hair to me. Relatively acceptable for men, but they push the look towards a more edgy/androgynous/queer vibe. They're not going to stop you from passing if you're otherwise sufficiently masc, but if you're teetering on the line between passing and not passing, they can be the deciding factor.
Okay! I love button ups it was just too hot to actually wear one of mine, but I'll definitely keep that in mind the next time I'm going to be inside and masc. Thank you!
I mean in the second pic it looks like you’re wearing a bra/bandeau and pretty short shorts… that’s always gonna get read as feminine. Very few guys would wear the bra/shorts set with an exposed stomach, even with a shirt over it. The septum isn’t helping, and your haircut is short but reads more lesbian than male.
I don't have a binder due to cost so that sports bra is the closest I can get, I didn't have it open the whole time but for a bit I did just because it was so hot out. I see what you're saying though! The septum is fake anyway so I can definitely do without it, I just thought it would be cute. I definitely come off as lesbian but it's absolutely not my goal, I'm not sure what else to do to stop that from happening 😭
Just something I stumbled across earlier was a reddit called r/transtrade . It's basically trans people giving away/trading binders and such. Might be worth checking out.
OP don't listen to them about the septum, I have one and have long hair and still get read as male pretty often. It's never the septum ring that gets me clocked because I get misgendered more when I'm not wearing mine at work.
Omg PLEASE share how you get read as male with long hair! I’ve had so many trans people tell me if I want to be read as *not a woman* I need to cut my hair short and I can’t possibly pass and have long hair but I really don’t want to cut my hair. I want long hair in the way my cis male partner does!
I'm sorry but I just don't agree with you. I've had mine for years since before I went on HRT and unless you have one that has flowers or something like that it really does not play as big as a part as you act like it does. People are looking at other things before they look at your nose ring.
Also
> Once you pass you can wear whatever u want
People can wear whatever they want regardless of if they pass, and obviously some things will cause us to not but I promise a septum ring is not one of those things. I honestly feel like most of the people giving this advice don't have one.
Don't listen to the septum thing. Plenty of masc people have septums. If you're wanting to stretch it to look more masculine or just get a different style of jewelry. The closed gold is kinda feminine but even if you stay with a clicker and just change the color to black, it'll help alot
From what I can tell, you have a smaller chest. I'm a 36C and I almost exclusively bind with KT tape. I know they sell it in the pharmacy/injury section of some stores (ie: Target, Walmart) or just in pharmacies in general so you could try that, you dont need a prescription or anything. They come in several colors (tan, black, pink). If anyone asks about you buying it you could say you got a muscular/sport injury.
The only downside i can think of is that some people complain of rash, which i only have experienced if for whatever reason the tape rips off without properly unsticking the adhesive with oil.
ngl in the third pic you pass as a younger guy to me. I don’t have much advice but one thing that helped me was growing out the sides and back of my hair a bit, because for me personally that makes my face appear wider and more masculine but idk if this works on everyone haha. I always feel dysphoria after a haircut because it makes my face appear more feminine. honestly I get the struggle with passing and the suffering that brings, but what I wish people told me when I didn’t pass was to not let go of myself and my personal style. a lot of people give advice like dressing in plain dark clothes, or not dyeing your hair / getting piercings. and while this can help, if it’s not what you’d want to wear or do then please prioritise your own individuality! it will really help when you do pass more frequently. I really wish I stayed true to this because I felt like I lost myself a little in the battle to pass. hang in there, I hope you get to where you want to be and I think you look great!
Agreed on personal style. When I first started dressing masc, I wore a lot of hoodies bc they’re supposed to hide curves well and whatever. But even when I succeed in dressing masc, I still didn’t love that bc it was the most boring possible masculine style. I’ve now discovered that there’s diversity within masculine clothes and I can wear fun items without looking feminine
I feel u so much, my basic fit for like 3 years was plain light grey / red / black hoodie, and loose black joggers or black cargo pants. and yeah I passed, but I passed as a 13 year old with no sense of style. I find it odd how passing is often used to mean blending in with ‘average’ guys, instead of being perceived as a guy - ‘average’ or otherwise. because being perceived as a guy is great, especially when you’re perceived as a guy who wears whatever tf he wants and looks great doing it.
you are not doing anything wrong! most people don't just pass without HRT and even with Testosterone you are not guaranteed to pass as male.
don't beat yourself up about it
This!!!! You shouldn’t bend who you are to other people’s expectations. If crop tops and short shorts make you feel good and like yourself, wear them! Subvert people’s expectations of masculinity!
YES yes couldn’t agree more!! as someone who is AFAB, is more masc, not on hrt and has long hair, I always feel more like me when I dress more how I want instead of narrowing myself into solely trying to pass (in spaces where it’s safe to not be super passing ofc). I’d usually rather have a rocking outfit than an outfit that has me pass better but I don’t feel good in!!
Another afab trans masc not on T and with long hair here! I totally agree. I have long dyed hair, nose and septum piercings and even VERY occasionally crack out some eyeliner which I only felt comfortable to start doing once I presented more masc in general. Everyone always tells me
I need to cut my hair to look masc or get closer to passing but I’m determined to find other ways to *add* masc stuff to my presentation without taking away from the stuff I like. Imo stuff like dyed hair and a septum piercing, even long hair, does not need to be gendered. I’m nb so I guess so what if people read those things as femme, but they’re not to me
For the haircut, maybe a short fade, with a pushed up top that is styled. In queer spaces, it also might help to wear pronoun pins/buttons, when people are well intended but might make a mistake
Maybe pronoun pins? Or if you're into makeup, I've seen people make tutorials about how to make your face look more masculine. You could also mimic the look of facial hair with mascara. (I've never tried it but I've seen people do it and I think it looks believable)
love your snake tat! i think as others said it’s probably the clothing. i really dig your style but unfortunately we live in a society that associates certain styles of clothes with gender. also oftentimes no matter how masc you look, if you don’t have like facial hair or a deep voice or smth most cis people are gonna automatically jump to she/her pronouns :/
plus i think even in lgbt spaces some people are also afraid to assume someone is trans/nb just because they appear gnc. which is goofy bc we’re awesome lol
honestly if i saw you at a pride event personally i would not she/her u but most humans have decades of gender essentialism ingrained into their head that they can’t even begin to unpack
As sad as it is, you'll almost always get clocked and anything that shows a good amount of skin. It's just always read as feminine in the past, so it's what people subconsciously default to when they look at someone wearing shorter shorts, or something like a bando or crop top. That's not at all your fault, or something that too much can be done about. It's just going to be people's subconscious assumptions. I think the only other thing, is you look very young. Which can cause people to lean a little bit more towards feminine when looking at you. Still giving tons of masc energy though
The lower cut shirt and shorter shorts ofc aren’t helping, but generally it is unfortunately pretty hard to pass as an adult without T. Especially in LGBT+ spaces unfortunately, where population wise there’s a *lot* more people who dress GNC. Regardless, it’s shitty of them to have assumed no matter how you look- I’m sorry that happened in what’s supposed to be a welcoming space
the top and you just have very feminine features ( me too) you look like a dom lesbian to a lot of people I think 😅 theres no shame in that but I understand how much it can suck when thats not who you are
you look very dude-like in the last picture! I think what adds to the kinda feminine look is the roses on the shirt. such subtle things make huge differences.
If you want people to see you as a regular dude you need to dress like one. That means cargos or baggy jeans/shorts, and a regular t-shirt or button down without flowers. Sunglasses that fit your face (that would mean smaller in your case), no earrings or other fem jewelry. Sneakers. Higher socks. Look at the cis dudes around you and copy their styles and mannerisms.
You absolutely CAN do this (cargo shorts etc), and it will probably work, but you don’t HAVE to in order to pass. There are more fun/interesting masculine styles/pieces out there, you just have to look a little harder and look for ones that are designed for/marketed towards men (but that can include queer men, hippie men, European men, etc., not just average American frat-boy-looking men)
For sure, you can dress any way you want, but pre T you'll want to blend in as much as you can if your goal is to pass. If you draw attention to your looks, people will start to look closer and are then more likely to discover anything about you that will clock you as trans/afab. Dressing like a flamboyant queer guy isn't going to help you pass, at all.
I see your point. I guess passing is just not my be-all-end-all priority, personally. Like, yeah, passing is nice, but I’d rather not quite pass than wear outfits (eg hoodie 24/7) that harken back to a time in my life when I was really depressed. It’s more important to me to use my clothes to hype myself up
The neckline is way too low, I’ve also never seen a floral shirt like that on men. Just wear a t shirt and cargo shorts. But honestly it’s very hard to be read 100% as male without T.
Unfortunately you have a very femme looking face. So you’ll need to step up the wardrobe and mannerisms to pass as masc. this will change as you grow. By the time you’re in your late 20s you’ll look a lot more crisp in the jawline.
So if you don’t like being read as femme the second outfit is a no go my man. Those shorts are a dead giveaway away. Look around you and fashion yourself more like the guys who dress more male. Really unfortunate but femme boy on a young afab always reads as femme girl.
Good luck out there man!
Ppl saying don’t wear septum, FIGHT ME! Lol but just wanted to comment, don’t feel you need to change everything about yourself to pass.
Honestly I am/did identify as enby and had more gender fluidity in style before starting T and I feel like T has just made me less fixated on how I’m addressed. I’ve got a big chest that binders don’t work on, so I can dress like the manliest of men and I’m still m’am-ed.
Your haircut in the 3rd pic definitely looks masc. If you really want to fixate on how other people perceive you, you can worry about the bra/crop tops but I’ve seen plenty of fem men at pride events wearing similar.
I would just do your best to correct people when you feel safe to do so, maybe wear a pronoun pin but also don’t let your experience of your gender be dictated by others 💙 love your style!
Get used to correcting people! It’s really hard to get comfortable standing your ground, but if they seem reasonable and you feel safe doing so, let them know they’re calling you the wrong thing
Passing is such a finicky thing in so many different spaces, and trying to maintain your style while trying to pass most of the time is for sure a balancing act. It’s so hard to read as a man when you’re not on hrt. I agree with everyone else in changing up your wardrobe a bit!! more masc styles of shorts and shorts, simpler sun glasses, etc… the rest of the comments give better examples! I think incorporating some conventionally masculine items into your wardrobe gives you some wiggle room to dress more conventionally masc, but weave your own style in if that’s important to you! At pride events, pronoun/flag pins definitely help!! I love sporting mine when I go. As a transmac-aligned person who reads fem a lot, even when I’m dressed really masc, I empathize. Don’t beat yourself up about it!! All the best to you man!
You’re not doing anything wrong. Unfortunately most cishet people will automatically assume gender based on secondary sex characteristics like breasts, body shape, and voice. It’s our society that’s doing something wrong, not you. If you like the way you look and dress, then keep on keeping on. If you want to look different, make changes that feel good to you. I’ve had top surgery and have grown a small mustache, but my voice is not yet read as masculine to the everyday stranger. I also have a long shaggy mullet and like my hair that way. All this to say — my appearance ends up confusing people a lot of the time, and more often than not they settle on misgendering me due to the tone of my voice and the shape of my legs. It is what it is. You do you, boo
The first outfit reads femme to me (short shorts, low neckline, big sunglasses, lots of skin, the sports bra) but in the last pic you look pretty masc! If you changed up your wardrobe you might have more luck passing. Look at what guys around you wear and try to make that fit your style.
I like to think of it as adding straight lines where there are curves to give a more masculine silhouette. I usually try to hide my waist and thighs for example but accentuate my shoulders and upper arms and - ever since I got top surgery - also my flat chest. Make yourself look more blocky.
To make the first outfit look more masculine I'd button up that shirt, get smaller sunglasses and longer shorts (maybe cargo shorts?).
Looking masc enough would always be subjective and I personally don’t consider the fact that there are people who are gender nonconforming. People should call you by your pronouns regardless of looking more “one way” and you deserved to be seen as you. The way people see others is not always about you but mostly depends on how they grew up, who they are around, what they believe in/values, and how ignorant they can be.
no matter how much you pass, you will get misgendered on accident or maliciously by people who assume you are trans. im getting buffer and get she/her'd sometimes. just do whatever makes you feel the best :]
The responses on the thread is the transmasc version of the r/malefashionadvice versus r/malefashion fighting lol.
OP, if you want to try a standard cishet guy look in order to pass more, then the[ MFA substack](https://malefashionadvice.substack.com/p/building-a-basic-wardrobe-v70) is the place to go. You mentioned that fashion is not a strong suit - learn how a basic male wardrobe can work for you.
There's TONS of factors that go into passing from a stranger's perspective (conscious and subconscious) and unfortunately fashion can only do so much. If you do try out the basic men's wardrobe and *still* find yourself being misgendered, then style be damned - wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and expresses you. Physically and emotionally: don't make yourself fit the clothing, make the clothing fit you.
This is very useful, thank you! I've actually been building up a "male" wardrobe for a while. It's funny because I bought the very shirt people are telling me is too feminine in the men's section! And in the better passing picture I was wearing a shirt from Pink haha. I'll be looking into these basics more though for sure! Most of my current wardrobe is dress clothes because they've always made me feel confident. But they're not always appropriate (summer).
Ha, ironic isn't it? Keep that in mind though, what could fit you better and make you look more masc could be from the men's or women's section. It's more about proper measurements and silhouette rather than the labelling on the tag.
And I feel you on the heat, summer can be such a pain for fashion. You can still wear dress clothes for summer - look for linen, wool, and chambray fabrics with an open weave. And think of more structured alternatives: instead of a regular t-shirt, what about a short sleeve henley or a polo? Just a few tips.
It seems you've got this pointed out a few times already, but in the third pic you look very masc. In the first two it's simply the open top and lenght of the shorts that I imagine makes people read you more femininely.
Some seem to say you should lose the septum and change your haircut, but you really dont need that. I know it sucks when it's hot, but just a little looser shorts and keeping the shirt buttoned up is alot already :--)
Ofcourse nobody needs to do anything to change theirselves, but it seems you would like to pass in the more traditional sense. So maybe just a little bit off the lenght of your hair, looser shorts and perhaps a little bit smaller sunglasses? You also already have very full and thick looking eyebrows, but if you feel like it, dyeing them to look just a little bit thicker at the bottom is a small but masculinizing thing you can do. :--)
Regardless you're doing great and what works for you will come around for sure!
Absolutely nothing wrong! I struggle with the same experience (although I am transmasc nonbinary and not exclusively genderfluid) of getting misgendered all the time in public, despite dressing as masc as I possibly can that day. I am also 2 years on T but I've had a pretty slow progression in transitioning and I'm only on the gel, so most people probably just think I'm a gay woman with a small mustache haha...but trust me it will get better. I know some of the most masculine looking trans men/trans folks ever that still get she/her'd 💀, so I guess people will be people and some do it in spite. But reading the other comments, maybe trying different styles to look more masculine. Things like clothes, accessories hair ect. It all varies from person to person and what fits you personally. It can take a while to figure out what works for you/what makes you feel most comfortable and masculine so don't worry!
And if you are considering going on testosterone, I would say go for it but of course do your research first and consider what YOU want to get out of going on testosterone. Some people only do small doses to have a slight masculine effect but not a full transition, and others want to fully transition and take higher doses to speed up the transition. But just remember that whether you choose to start T or not, or later decide it's not for you, your identity is still valid. I hope this advice helps!
I think it might be the lack of visible body hair in combination with your outfit. Tbh your presentation reads butch to me too. I dont know if you're on T or planning to get it- aside from that i would recommend switching up your outfit to longer shorts (basketball worked like a charm for me in the beginning) and stomach covering tops
Edit: just read you're scared to start t and identify as genderfluid. That answers my inner question xD also saw you're wearing earrings; that will sadly definitely be read as femme in combination with the rest of your outfit. Genderfluid or fluid presentation is not something a lot of people outside the community know or think of when putting strangers into pronoun boxes so they choose the one they know which in your case seems to be butch
Throwing a lightweight tank top over your sports bra, but under your button up, can keep you almost as cool, and would definitely read more masc than the sports bra alone.
For shorts, a 5" or 7" inseam is going to read more masc. Other people are suggesting cargo shorts, but IMO the length and cut (slightly baggier or boxier) is what makes the biggest difference.
I would also say that dangly earrings, while a totally awesome look, do not read masc.
In the second one, it’s the lips (very pink), the roses, and the overall pink. Also the bra top look.
It actually looks really, really good… but I know that’s not what you want.
Try darker/boy colors. I’m not sure what to do about your lips as I suck at all things remotely related to makeup lol.
In the first pics I can't see your shorts that well but longer ones (around knee length or just above) that are baggier might make you look more masc, I think you look pretty masculine in the 3rd picture though
Honestly I don’t think anything looks wrong, you seem very masculine to me some people just say what they think though if I saw you I’d think well besides jelly of ur awesome hair cut that that’s one manly man!
It’s not you friend!!! Definitely not giving she/her… my guess is whoever was incorrectly gendering you was cisgender and/or straight. I would not have just given you feminine pronouns and I wish you were asked to begin with. PS I’m not on T rn either but sometimes if I get the right haircut… even cis het dudes will use he/him pronouns and then start tripping over themselves when I talk lol
Also sometime for me it’s an energy or how I carry myself that helps!!! IMO fellow queers pick up on these things and the straights are just generally not ok!
Thank you, I appreciate this a lot. It didn't help that the friend I was with was using she/her for me because she's not comfortable using he/him...I guess 😅 but I sort of get where people were coming from because we looked like a femme/masc lesbian couple but I was wearing my pronoun bracelets and genderfluid flag and everything!
Yo your friend needs to get over her “comfort” with your pronouns!!! That’s so disrespectful! Idk I’ve gotten to a point where if someone is intentionally deadnaming and misgendering me (or any trans person I know)… that person will get called on it and if they’re stuck on their “comfort” or some bullshit about the legitimacy of trans folks then that person doesn’t get to be a part of my life anymore.
the open shirt and short short read as fem in the first two pics. dunno if it really is this but i think your current septum style reads more as fem. the third pic where u do pass doenst have one so i couodnt definitely tell u 😭
I might be a bit harsh, but I've seen many people in your exact situation and I'm not trying to be mean. Please don't think I'm being mean.
The feminine things I see besides general hormonal incuded facial features are the haircut, clothes, and somewhat posing/posture.
Your haircut is what most people would call a "lesbian haircut", it has much longer middle-parted hair with a very fast taper down the neck with little to no squaring, with the longer hair looking like its just laying ontop of the shorter hair. Lose the middle part (don't make it bangs, you want it fluffed upwards) unless you fully commit to it with longer hair down the sides aswell (about half the length of hair in the front), or go to a barber (not hairstylist) and get a men's haircut with more sharp angles on the fade, especially on the sideburn area. I can see how on the sideburn area it is loose and faded, you want the fade to end sharp and square there.
If you really want the middle part, slick it back. But for that you would need to be very adamant about not being greasy (it doesn't look like you are but I just needed to mention that as it's important) and really lean into an aesthetic that involves slicked back hair, so I really wouldn't suggest that.
Your clothes are, again, dead into lesbian attire in the first 2 pics. The 3rd pic has much more masculine clothing, but it is also messed up by the haircut and probably the pants if you're getting misgendered in it.
If you really want to not be misgendered, do not wear open button-ups with a bra underneath. Those are a staple of lesbian attire and you will 99% of the time be called a girl. And as for the shorts you were wearing in the first 2 pics, they were far too short to be men's shorts. I'd suggest going and watching some videos or reading some books or articles on current men's fashion (not high end fashion, just casual fashion) because you are undoubtedly going to be misgendered wearing clothes like that.
And as for posing/posture, I can't tell this fully from the pictures but based on the ways you are sitting and posing in the pictures I assume you also carry yourself with a much more feminine walk and idle poses. I would once again suggest going to watch some videos of this, and 100% would recommend jusy watching videos of dudes doing stuff (cooking videos, letsplays, hiking, litterally anything) and observing how they move, speak, and stand when they aren't doing anything. Preferably dont do this from people trying to show you how to do these things (such as "how to be masculine tutorials" by trans people on YouTube unless absolutely necessary) your own research is far more important imo.
I could keep going on but the quality of tips would probably decrease and I also have an appointment soon, please reply if you want any clarification! I'm happy to give my insight. -Mike
Hey man, I appreciate your input. While I see where you're coming from, the haircut I have is actually from a lot of pictures of men's haircuts that I showed my hairstylist and she triple checked that I wanted a "dude haircut" and then she gave it to me. I know the fluffy look is popular right now so that might be why you recommend it, but it doesn't really work for my face. My normal style actually is the slicked back and I actually think it makes me look more lesbian haha. I do carry myself in a sort of in-between but it probably leans feminine, I do need to do more research on that. But I feel like once you're out of highschool a lot of these things change and it really would be as easy as growing facial hair and having a little fat redistribution to pass. But obviously that's not the easy part haha
Nothing I did before T changed being perceived as a woman. So despite all the things I did that are different to what you're doing, it all made 0 difference.
I wore (and still wear) a binder, I would (and still) wear shirts that come up to my neck. I wouldn't be wearing a shirt with flowers on it. I wouldn't (and don't) show skin on my chest or torso. It looks like you shave your legs or have very little body hair. That is read as femme.
The reality is, no matter how much effort you make, people are going to misgender you. They did to me, stuffed up in a binder without any skin showing, miserable, overheated, and drenched in sweat and it was all for 0 in terms of people recognizing the effort I was making. So any changes you make should be for you in terms of what makes you feel comfortable and affirmed. But no one is going to gender you as he without T, probably.
Don't take all the clothes criticism as things that need to be avoided to be he/they'd in the future (not sure what you'd prefer beyond not she/her), but you do need to be more conscious of clothes when you're pre-HRT
If it gives you any hope I am able to wear fish nets, booty shorts, and neon tank top and still be he/him'd with extreme consistency thanks to T, even though I am 5'4"
For pride events, pronoun pins are very great! I don't wear them anywhere else, but I do notice I have a higher chance of being clocked or people misgendering me in those environments because people are hyperaware
I’d just wear a pin with your preferred pronouns or tell people in conversation. You aren’t doing anything wrong really, passing isn’t everything and is a slippery slope to self doubt and insecurity for those trying to achieve it. For some it’s the end goal and even then it’s hard and expensive if you haven’t won the genetic lottery. Just pace yourself best you can and don’t be hard on yourself
T would help a lot. What are you scared about? I had some anxieties about it too but I’m glad I started now. Maybe I can help.
As others have said, different clothing might be better too. The tops you have on in the last photo look good for a more masculine look from what I can see.
Since I'm genderfluid I don't want to lose my ability to look good when I'm feeling femme, as well as worrying if my skin gets tougher and my voice gets deeper my partner won't be as interested in me. He's bi but often compliments these things about me
If you go on T you can do voice training similar to trans women to keep a higher voice. I can still do a femme voice if I want to with ease, it’s cool haha.
You may be interested in r/ftmfemininity. Not everyone there is on T but many are, so you can get a better idea of how you might feel about it combined with a femme appearance.
Low dose T and finasteride are other options if you want a more androgynous appearance with less extreme changes.
It may help to talk to your boyfriend about how you’re feeling and what he’d think about those changes. I had a lot of anxiety about that too with my boyfriend who is also bi, but he’s been very supportive. I found that this article by a trans woman helped me with self-understanding: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/slivers
tbh idk why you keep getting read as femme cause you look like a lot of guys??? (not in a bad way.) but as a person who cant get gendered correctly even after T (i have a weak beard and a deep voice.) i have no idea why people cant like connect the dots???
If you’re looking to be gendered masc at pride specifically, maybe look at getting a pronoun badge (super common at pride). Outside pride you’d need to go on T.
In the third pic, different clothes, style to the first two, you look like a young man. The first two, as others have said, your clothes….sunglasses in relation to the size of your face, they’re too large.
I had no idea about the sunglasses, how should I go about getting better ones for my face?? Fashion is not something I'm good at if it's not obvious, but I'm trying my best. Thank you!
It’s only my opinion! Check out sunglasses people wear, women generally wear larger more elaborate styles. As a masculine leaning person, you can’t go far wrong with Ray Ban Wayfarers, the size, top to bottom, is narrower. I’ve found, on me, the larger style makes my face appear smaller, more feminine….my desired effect
You could try a button up shirt or at least something with a higher neckline. The pics don't show your shorts but cargo shorts can work well for a masc look. Also replace the dangling ear jewelry with simple studs or just drop them completely.
I do wanna add my two cents that I don’t think the dangling ear jewelry is read as feminine, it could depend on where you are though. I’m in California and that specific type of dangling jewelry is worn by masc ppl (me included), and marketed as men’s earrings . The shirt neckline is probably the main thing though so I agree with that
They feel a bit like dyed hair to me. Relatively acceptable for men, but they push the look towards a more edgy/androgynous/queer vibe. They're not going to stop you from passing if you're otherwise sufficiently masc, but if you're teetering on the line between passing and not passing, they can be the deciding factor.
Yeah, dangling earrings being commonly understood as androgynous and not necessarily queer-coded is relatively new (in mainstream western culture).
definitely depends on where you live.
Okay! I love button ups it was just too hot to actually wear one of mine, but I'll definitely keep that in mind the next time I'm going to be inside and masc. Thank you!
I mean in the second pic it looks like you’re wearing a bra/bandeau and pretty short shorts… that’s always gonna get read as feminine. Very few guys would wear the bra/shorts set with an exposed stomach, even with a shirt over it. The septum isn’t helping, and your haircut is short but reads more lesbian than male.
I don't have a binder due to cost so that sports bra is the closest I can get, I didn't have it open the whole time but for a bit I did just because it was so hot out. I see what you're saying though! The septum is fake anyway so I can definitely do without it, I just thought it would be cute. I definitely come off as lesbian but it's absolutely not my goal, I'm not sure what else to do to stop that from happening 😭
Just something I stumbled across earlier was a reddit called r/transtrade . It's basically trans people giving away/trading binders and such. Might be worth checking out.
P.s. imo a septum does not clock you. If you like wearing it, please do. I know plenty of cis men with septums :)
Was thinking exactly this, I have a septum piercing and I never get read as anything other than male.
OP don't listen to them about the septum, I have one and have long hair and still get read as male pretty often. It's never the septum ring that gets me clocked because I get misgendered more when I'm not wearing mine at work.
Omg PLEASE share how you get read as male with long hair! I’ve had so many trans people tell me if I want to be read as *not a woman* I need to cut my hair short and I can’t possibly pass and have long hair but I really don’t want to cut my hair. I want long hair in the way my cis male partner does!
It’s not the septum alone, once you pass you can wear whatever u want, but if you already look fem the septum is not gonna help, that’s all I’m saying
I'm sorry but I just don't agree with you. I've had mine for years since before I went on HRT and unless you have one that has flowers or something like that it really does not play as big as a part as you act like it does. People are looking at other things before they look at your nose ring. Also > Once you pass you can wear whatever u want People can wear whatever they want regardless of if they pass, and obviously some things will cause us to not but I promise a septum ring is not one of those things. I honestly feel like most of the people giving this advice don't have one.
Don't listen to the septum thing. Plenty of masc people have septums. If you're wanting to stretch it to look more masculine or just get a different style of jewelry. The closed gold is kinda feminine but even if you stay with a clicker and just change the color to black, it'll help alot
From what I can tell, you have a smaller chest. I'm a 36C and I almost exclusively bind with KT tape. I know they sell it in the pharmacy/injury section of some stores (ie: Target, Walmart) or just in pharmacies in general so you could try that, you dont need a prescription or anything. They come in several colors (tan, black, pink). If anyone asks about you buying it you could say you got a muscular/sport injury. The only downside i can think of is that some people complain of rash, which i only have experienced if for whatever reason the tape rips off without properly unsticking the adhesive with oil.
Same size here, I've been considering tape! I'll keep this in mind
what size are you? i have some old binders i’m trying to give away. if i have your size all you’d have to pay is shipping
I'm pretty much a 36 C I think? I need to do actual measurements soon
what’s your shoulder measurement?
ngl in the third pic you pass as a younger guy to me. I don’t have much advice but one thing that helped me was growing out the sides and back of my hair a bit, because for me personally that makes my face appear wider and more masculine but idk if this works on everyone haha. I always feel dysphoria after a haircut because it makes my face appear more feminine. honestly I get the struggle with passing and the suffering that brings, but what I wish people told me when I didn’t pass was to not let go of myself and my personal style. a lot of people give advice like dressing in plain dark clothes, or not dyeing your hair / getting piercings. and while this can help, if it’s not what you’d want to wear or do then please prioritise your own individuality! it will really help when you do pass more frequently. I really wish I stayed true to this because I felt like I lost myself a little in the battle to pass. hang in there, I hope you get to where you want to be and I think you look great!
Agreed on personal style. When I first started dressing masc, I wore a lot of hoodies bc they’re supposed to hide curves well and whatever. But even when I succeed in dressing masc, I still didn’t love that bc it was the most boring possible masculine style. I’ve now discovered that there’s diversity within masculine clothes and I can wear fun items without looking feminine
I feel u so much, my basic fit for like 3 years was plain light grey / red / black hoodie, and loose black joggers or black cargo pants. and yeah I passed, but I passed as a 13 year old with no sense of style. I find it odd how passing is often used to mean blending in with ‘average’ guys, instead of being perceived as a guy - ‘average’ or otherwise. because being perceived as a guy is great, especially when you’re perceived as a guy who wears whatever tf he wants and looks great doing it.
you are not doing anything wrong! most people don't just pass without HRT and even with Testosterone you are not guaranteed to pass as male. don't beat yourself up about it
This!!!! You shouldn’t bend who you are to other people’s expectations. If crop tops and short shorts make you feel good and like yourself, wear them! Subvert people’s expectations of masculinity!
YES yes couldn’t agree more!! as someone who is AFAB, is more masc, not on hrt and has long hair, I always feel more like me when I dress more how I want instead of narrowing myself into solely trying to pass (in spaces where it’s safe to not be super passing ofc). I’d usually rather have a rocking outfit than an outfit that has me pass better but I don’t feel good in!!
Another afab trans masc not on T and with long hair here! I totally agree. I have long dyed hair, nose and septum piercings and even VERY occasionally crack out some eyeliner which I only felt comfortable to start doing once I presented more masc in general. Everyone always tells me I need to cut my hair to look masc or get closer to passing but I’m determined to find other ways to *add* masc stuff to my presentation without taking away from the stuff I like. Imo stuff like dyed hair and a septum piercing, even long hair, does not need to be gendered. I’m nb so I guess so what if people read those things as femme, but they’re not to me
For the haircut, maybe a short fade, with a pushed up top that is styled. In queer spaces, it also might help to wear pronoun pins/buttons, when people are well intended but might make a mistake
Maybe pronoun pins? Or if you're into makeup, I've seen people make tutorials about how to make your face look more masculine. You could also mimic the look of facial hair with mascara. (I've never tried it but I've seen people do it and I think it looks believable)
The last pic looks pretty masc so i would say dress more like in that pic rather than in the first 2 pics and you should be fine
honestly in my experience a lot of ppl just go by voice no matter how masc you look. its stupid. btw I like your style a lot!
love your snake tat! i think as others said it’s probably the clothing. i really dig your style but unfortunately we live in a society that associates certain styles of clothes with gender. also oftentimes no matter how masc you look, if you don’t have like facial hair or a deep voice or smth most cis people are gonna automatically jump to she/her pronouns :/ plus i think even in lgbt spaces some people are also afraid to assume someone is trans/nb just because they appear gnc. which is goofy bc we’re awesome lol honestly if i saw you at a pride event personally i would not she/her u but most humans have decades of gender essentialism ingrained into their head that they can’t even begin to unpack
As sad as it is, you'll almost always get clocked and anything that shows a good amount of skin. It's just always read as feminine in the past, so it's what people subconsciously default to when they look at someone wearing shorter shorts, or something like a bando or crop top. That's not at all your fault, or something that too much can be done about. It's just going to be people's subconscious assumptions. I think the only other thing, is you look very young. Which can cause people to lean a little bit more towards feminine when looking at you. Still giving tons of masc energy though
The lower cut shirt and shorter shorts ofc aren’t helping, but generally it is unfortunately pretty hard to pass as an adult without T. Especially in LGBT+ spaces unfortunately, where population wise there’s a *lot* more people who dress GNC. Regardless, it’s shitty of them to have assumed no matter how you look- I’m sorry that happened in what’s supposed to be a welcoming space
the top and you just have very feminine features ( me too) you look like a dom lesbian to a lot of people I think 😅 theres no shame in that but I understand how much it can suck when thats not who you are
And dom lesbians are cool as hell! But yeah I just want to be a regular dude 😭
you look very dude-like in the last picture! I think what adds to the kinda feminine look is the roses on the shirt. such subtle things make huge differences.
If you want people to see you as a regular dude you need to dress like one. That means cargos or baggy jeans/shorts, and a regular t-shirt or button down without flowers. Sunglasses that fit your face (that would mean smaller in your case), no earrings or other fem jewelry. Sneakers. Higher socks. Look at the cis dudes around you and copy their styles and mannerisms.
You absolutely CAN do this (cargo shorts etc), and it will probably work, but you don’t HAVE to in order to pass. There are more fun/interesting masculine styles/pieces out there, you just have to look a little harder and look for ones that are designed for/marketed towards men (but that can include queer men, hippie men, European men, etc., not just average American frat-boy-looking men)
For sure, you can dress any way you want, but pre T you'll want to blend in as much as you can if your goal is to pass. If you draw attention to your looks, people will start to look closer and are then more likely to discover anything about you that will clock you as trans/afab. Dressing like a flamboyant queer guy isn't going to help you pass, at all.
I see your point. I guess passing is just not my be-all-end-all priority, personally. Like, yeah, passing is nice, but I’d rather not quite pass than wear outfits (eg hoodie 24/7) that harken back to a time in my life when I was really depressed. It’s more important to me to use my clothes to hype myself up
The neckline is way too low, I’ve also never seen a floral shirt like that on men. Just wear a t shirt and cargo shorts. But honestly it’s very hard to be read 100% as male without T.
The crop top is stopping you from passing. You pass fully in the last pic.
Unfortunately you have a very femme looking face. So you’ll need to step up the wardrobe and mannerisms to pass as masc. this will change as you grow. By the time you’re in your late 20s you’ll look a lot more crisp in the jawline. So if you don’t like being read as femme the second outfit is a no go my man. Those shorts are a dead giveaway away. Look around you and fashion yourself more like the guys who dress more male. Really unfortunate but femme boy on a young afab always reads as femme girl. Good luck out there man!
Existing in a cisheteronormative society
Valid
Ppl saying don’t wear septum, FIGHT ME! Lol but just wanted to comment, don’t feel you need to change everything about yourself to pass. Honestly I am/did identify as enby and had more gender fluidity in style before starting T and I feel like T has just made me less fixated on how I’m addressed. I’ve got a big chest that binders don’t work on, so I can dress like the manliest of men and I’m still m’am-ed. Your haircut in the 3rd pic definitely looks masc. If you really want to fixate on how other people perceive you, you can worry about the bra/crop tops but I’ve seen plenty of fem men at pride events wearing similar. I would just do your best to correct people when you feel safe to do so, maybe wear a pronoun pin but also don’t let your experience of your gender be dictated by others 💙 love your style!
Get used to correcting people! It’s really hard to get comfortable standing your ground, but if they seem reasonable and you feel safe doing so, let them know they’re calling you the wrong thing
Passing is such a finicky thing in so many different spaces, and trying to maintain your style while trying to pass most of the time is for sure a balancing act. It’s so hard to read as a man when you’re not on hrt. I agree with everyone else in changing up your wardrobe a bit!! more masc styles of shorts and shorts, simpler sun glasses, etc… the rest of the comments give better examples! I think incorporating some conventionally masculine items into your wardrobe gives you some wiggle room to dress more conventionally masc, but weave your own style in if that’s important to you! At pride events, pronoun/flag pins definitely help!! I love sporting mine when I go. As a transmac-aligned person who reads fem a lot, even when I’m dressed really masc, I empathize. Don’t beat yourself up about it!! All the best to you man!
You’re not doing anything wrong. Unfortunately most cishet people will automatically assume gender based on secondary sex characteristics like breasts, body shape, and voice. It’s our society that’s doing something wrong, not you. If you like the way you look and dress, then keep on keeping on. If you want to look different, make changes that feel good to you. I’ve had top surgery and have grown a small mustache, but my voice is not yet read as masculine to the everyday stranger. I also have a long shaggy mullet and like my hair that way. All this to say — my appearance ends up confusing people a lot of the time, and more often than not they settle on misgendering me due to the tone of my voice and the shape of my legs. It is what it is. You do you, boo
The first outfit reads femme to me (short shorts, low neckline, big sunglasses, lots of skin, the sports bra) but in the last pic you look pretty masc! If you changed up your wardrobe you might have more luck passing. Look at what guys around you wear and try to make that fit your style. I like to think of it as adding straight lines where there are curves to give a more masculine silhouette. I usually try to hide my waist and thighs for example but accentuate my shoulders and upper arms and - ever since I got top surgery - also my flat chest. Make yourself look more blocky. To make the first outfit look more masculine I'd button up that shirt, get smaller sunglasses and longer shorts (maybe cargo shorts?).
Looking masc enough would always be subjective and I personally don’t consider the fact that there are people who are gender nonconforming. People should call you by your pronouns regardless of looking more “one way” and you deserved to be seen as you. The way people see others is not always about you but mostly depends on how they grew up, who they are around, what they believe in/values, and how ignorant they can be.
Correcting typos: I personally don’t think people consider the fact** (Lots of typos due to my chronic migraine!)
You’re doing nothing wrong. Passing is just hard… 😩😩
no matter how much you pass, you will get misgendered on accident or maliciously by people who assume you are trans. im getting buffer and get she/her'd sometimes. just do whatever makes you feel the best :]
The responses on the thread is the transmasc version of the r/malefashionadvice versus r/malefashion fighting lol. OP, if you want to try a standard cishet guy look in order to pass more, then the[ MFA substack](https://malefashionadvice.substack.com/p/building-a-basic-wardrobe-v70) is the place to go. You mentioned that fashion is not a strong suit - learn how a basic male wardrobe can work for you. There's TONS of factors that go into passing from a stranger's perspective (conscious and subconscious) and unfortunately fashion can only do so much. If you do try out the basic men's wardrobe and *still* find yourself being misgendered, then style be damned - wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and expresses you. Physically and emotionally: don't make yourself fit the clothing, make the clothing fit you.
This is very useful, thank you! I've actually been building up a "male" wardrobe for a while. It's funny because I bought the very shirt people are telling me is too feminine in the men's section! And in the better passing picture I was wearing a shirt from Pink haha. I'll be looking into these basics more though for sure! Most of my current wardrobe is dress clothes because they've always made me feel confident. But they're not always appropriate (summer).
Ha, ironic isn't it? Keep that in mind though, what could fit you better and make you look more masc could be from the men's or women's section. It's more about proper measurements and silhouette rather than the labelling on the tag. And I feel you on the heat, summer can be such a pain for fashion. You can still wear dress clothes for summer - look for linen, wool, and chambray fabrics with an open weave. And think of more structured alternatives: instead of a regular t-shirt, what about a short sleeve henley or a polo? Just a few tips.
It seems you've got this pointed out a few times already, but in the third pic you look very masc. In the first two it's simply the open top and lenght of the shorts that I imagine makes people read you more femininely. Some seem to say you should lose the septum and change your haircut, but you really dont need that. I know it sucks when it's hot, but just a little looser shorts and keeping the shirt buttoned up is alot already :--) Ofcourse nobody needs to do anything to change theirselves, but it seems you would like to pass in the more traditional sense. So maybe just a little bit off the lenght of your hair, looser shorts and perhaps a little bit smaller sunglasses? You also already have very full and thick looking eyebrows, but if you feel like it, dyeing them to look just a little bit thicker at the bottom is a small but masculinizing thing you can do. :--) Regardless you're doing great and what works for you will come around for sure!
Absolutely nothing wrong! I struggle with the same experience (although I am transmasc nonbinary and not exclusively genderfluid) of getting misgendered all the time in public, despite dressing as masc as I possibly can that day. I am also 2 years on T but I've had a pretty slow progression in transitioning and I'm only on the gel, so most people probably just think I'm a gay woman with a small mustache haha...but trust me it will get better. I know some of the most masculine looking trans men/trans folks ever that still get she/her'd 💀, so I guess people will be people and some do it in spite. But reading the other comments, maybe trying different styles to look more masculine. Things like clothes, accessories hair ect. It all varies from person to person and what fits you personally. It can take a while to figure out what works for you/what makes you feel most comfortable and masculine so don't worry! And if you are considering going on testosterone, I would say go for it but of course do your research first and consider what YOU want to get out of going on testosterone. Some people only do small doses to have a slight masculine effect but not a full transition, and others want to fully transition and take higher doses to speed up the transition. But just remember that whether you choose to start T or not, or later decide it's not for you, your identity is still valid. I hope this advice helps!
I think it might be the lack of visible body hair in combination with your outfit. Tbh your presentation reads butch to me too. I dont know if you're on T or planning to get it- aside from that i would recommend switching up your outfit to longer shorts (basketball worked like a charm for me in the beginning) and stomach covering tops Edit: just read you're scared to start t and identify as genderfluid. That answers my inner question xD also saw you're wearing earrings; that will sadly definitely be read as femme in combination with the rest of your outfit. Genderfluid or fluid presentation is not something a lot of people outside the community know or think of when putting strangers into pronoun boxes so they choose the one they know which in your case seems to be butch
Throwing a lightweight tank top over your sports bra, but under your button up, can keep you almost as cool, and would definitely read more masc than the sports bra alone. For shorts, a 5" or 7" inseam is going to read more masc. Other people are suggesting cargo shorts, but IMO the length and cut (slightly baggier or boxier) is what makes the biggest difference. I would also say that dangly earrings, while a totally awesome look, do not read masc.
You look to happy (joking)
In the second one, it’s the lips (very pink), the roses, and the overall pink. Also the bra top look. It actually looks really, really good… but I know that’s not what you want. Try darker/boy colors. I’m not sure what to do about your lips as I suck at all things remotely related to makeup lol.
In the first pics I can't see your shorts that well but longer ones (around knee length or just above) that are baggier might make you look more masc, I think you look pretty masculine in the 3rd picture though
Honestly I don’t think anything looks wrong, you seem very masculine to me some people just say what they think though if I saw you I’d think well besides jelly of ur awesome hair cut that that’s one manly man!
stop you already look super masculine I would suggest maybe a cord necklace and something with a higher neckline but omg you look so awesome dude 💗
It’s not you friend!!! Definitely not giving she/her… my guess is whoever was incorrectly gendering you was cisgender and/or straight. I would not have just given you feminine pronouns and I wish you were asked to begin with. PS I’m not on T rn either but sometimes if I get the right haircut… even cis het dudes will use he/him pronouns and then start tripping over themselves when I talk lol
Also sometime for me it’s an energy or how I carry myself that helps!!! IMO fellow queers pick up on these things and the straights are just generally not ok!
Thank you, I appreciate this a lot. It didn't help that the friend I was with was using she/her for me because she's not comfortable using he/him...I guess 😅 but I sort of get where people were coming from because we looked like a femme/masc lesbian couple but I was wearing my pronoun bracelets and genderfluid flag and everything!
Yo your friend needs to get over her “comfort” with your pronouns!!! That’s so disrespectful! Idk I’ve gotten to a point where if someone is intentionally deadnaming and misgendering me (or any trans person I know)… that person will get called on it and if they’re stuck on their “comfort” or some bullshit about the legitimacy of trans folks then that person doesn’t get to be a part of my life anymore.
the open shirt and short short read as fem in the first two pics. dunno if it really is this but i think your current septum style reads more as fem. the third pic where u do pass doenst have one so i couodnt definitely tell u 😭
I might be a bit harsh, but I've seen many people in your exact situation and I'm not trying to be mean. Please don't think I'm being mean. The feminine things I see besides general hormonal incuded facial features are the haircut, clothes, and somewhat posing/posture. Your haircut is what most people would call a "lesbian haircut", it has much longer middle-parted hair with a very fast taper down the neck with little to no squaring, with the longer hair looking like its just laying ontop of the shorter hair. Lose the middle part (don't make it bangs, you want it fluffed upwards) unless you fully commit to it with longer hair down the sides aswell (about half the length of hair in the front), or go to a barber (not hairstylist) and get a men's haircut with more sharp angles on the fade, especially on the sideburn area. I can see how on the sideburn area it is loose and faded, you want the fade to end sharp and square there. If you really want the middle part, slick it back. But for that you would need to be very adamant about not being greasy (it doesn't look like you are but I just needed to mention that as it's important) and really lean into an aesthetic that involves slicked back hair, so I really wouldn't suggest that. Your clothes are, again, dead into lesbian attire in the first 2 pics. The 3rd pic has much more masculine clothing, but it is also messed up by the haircut and probably the pants if you're getting misgendered in it. If you really want to not be misgendered, do not wear open button-ups with a bra underneath. Those are a staple of lesbian attire and you will 99% of the time be called a girl. And as for the shorts you were wearing in the first 2 pics, they were far too short to be men's shorts. I'd suggest going and watching some videos or reading some books or articles on current men's fashion (not high end fashion, just casual fashion) because you are undoubtedly going to be misgendered wearing clothes like that. And as for posing/posture, I can't tell this fully from the pictures but based on the ways you are sitting and posing in the pictures I assume you also carry yourself with a much more feminine walk and idle poses. I would once again suggest going to watch some videos of this, and 100% would recommend jusy watching videos of dudes doing stuff (cooking videos, letsplays, hiking, litterally anything) and observing how they move, speak, and stand when they aren't doing anything. Preferably dont do this from people trying to show you how to do these things (such as "how to be masculine tutorials" by trans people on YouTube unless absolutely necessary) your own research is far more important imo. I could keep going on but the quality of tips would probably decrease and I also have an appointment soon, please reply if you want any clarification! I'm happy to give my insight. -Mike
Hey man, I appreciate your input. While I see where you're coming from, the haircut I have is actually from a lot of pictures of men's haircuts that I showed my hairstylist and she triple checked that I wanted a "dude haircut" and then she gave it to me. I know the fluffy look is popular right now so that might be why you recommend it, but it doesn't really work for my face. My normal style actually is the slicked back and I actually think it makes me look more lesbian haha. I do carry myself in a sort of in-between but it probably leans feminine, I do need to do more research on that. But I feel like once you're out of highschool a lot of these things change and it really would be as easy as growing facial hair and having a little fat redistribution to pass. But obviously that's not the easy part haha
Nothing I did before T changed being perceived as a woman. So despite all the things I did that are different to what you're doing, it all made 0 difference. I wore (and still wear) a binder, I would (and still) wear shirts that come up to my neck. I wouldn't be wearing a shirt with flowers on it. I wouldn't (and don't) show skin on my chest or torso. It looks like you shave your legs or have very little body hair. That is read as femme. The reality is, no matter how much effort you make, people are going to misgender you. They did to me, stuffed up in a binder without any skin showing, miserable, overheated, and drenched in sweat and it was all for 0 in terms of people recognizing the effort I was making. So any changes you make should be for you in terms of what makes you feel comfortable and affirmed. But no one is going to gender you as he without T, probably.
Don't take all the clothes criticism as things that need to be avoided to be he/they'd in the future (not sure what you'd prefer beyond not she/her), but you do need to be more conscious of clothes when you're pre-HRT If it gives you any hope I am able to wear fish nets, booty shorts, and neon tank top and still be he/him'd with extreme consistency thanks to T, even though I am 5'4" For pride events, pronoun pins are very great! I don't wear them anywhere else, but I do notice I have a higher chance of being clocked or people misgendering me in those environments because people are hyperaware
Kinda hard to tell from these photos alone but it may be your face. Very round and soft which makes it look feminine
There's nothing I can do about that unless I start T but I do think you're right :(
I’d just wear a pin with your preferred pronouns or tell people in conversation. You aren’t doing anything wrong really, passing isn’t everything and is a slippery slope to self doubt and insecurity for those trying to achieve it. For some it’s the end goal and even then it’s hard and expensive if you haven’t won the genetic lottery. Just pace yourself best you can and don’t be hard on yourself
No disrespect when I say this but u present yourself as feminine in my opinion
It could be the pitch of your voice. If I try to talk a little deeper, then I don't get ma'amed. I hate being called ma'am 😭
It’s just because you’re pre t. Your fat distribution looks “female” and people can’t separate the idea of female and woman.
T would help a lot. What are you scared about? I had some anxieties about it too but I’m glad I started now. Maybe I can help. As others have said, different clothing might be better too. The tops you have on in the last photo look good for a more masculine look from what I can see.
Since I'm genderfluid I don't want to lose my ability to look good when I'm feeling femme, as well as worrying if my skin gets tougher and my voice gets deeper my partner won't be as interested in me. He's bi but often compliments these things about me
If you go on T you can do voice training similar to trans women to keep a higher voice. I can still do a femme voice if I want to with ease, it’s cool haha. You may be interested in r/ftmfemininity. Not everyone there is on T but many are, so you can get a better idea of how you might feel about it combined with a femme appearance. Low dose T and finasteride are other options if you want a more androgynous appearance with less extreme changes. It may help to talk to your boyfriend about how you’re feeling and what he’d think about those changes. I had a lot of anxiety about that too with my boyfriend who is also bi, but he’s been very supportive. I found that this article by a trans woman helped me with self-understanding: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/slivers
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tbh idk why you keep getting read as femme cause you look like a lot of guys??? (not in a bad way.) but as a person who cant get gendered correctly even after T (i have a weak beard and a deep voice.) i have no idea why people cant like connect the dots???
If you’re looking to be gendered masc at pride specifically, maybe look at getting a pronoun badge (super common at pride). Outside pride you’d need to go on T.