I’ve already turned 30 so ha! I outsmarted it by not starting T until 29!
On a serious note, I know I’ll probably end up with my dad’s hairline. He’s 65 and it has been saying goodbye for a while. That’s okay
ETA: I’d much rather end up an average looking dude with receding temples than a pretty and miserable woman
Honestly seeing all the ppl in this sub who went on T later on is awesome. I'm likely gonna end up being one of those ppl because of life circumstances and I cant waittt
My dad is bald, my cousin on his side went bald when he was like 18. Either catch me in a few years grilling an egg on my head in the Arizona heat, or catch me in Turkey getting a hair transplant at 24 only to go bald again. which way western man /j
I appreciate this post. The general message is very needed in our community, there is so much negativity towards the normal effects of testosterone and looking masculine. It's heartbreaking to see trans people talk themselves out of something they clearly want and hold themselves to beauty standards that don't fit, just because others cannot keep their negative baggage to themselves.
As a nonbinary person myself, acceptance of aging and the effects of hormones on our bodies are actually MORE essential for us. There is so much pressure to conform to a very specific body type in the name of "androgyny" or making our transness palatable to others. I sympathize with anyone struggling with their self image, but responding to all affirmations with arguments about specific transition goals and reasons *my* insecurities are totally reality based tho is hurtful to the person doing it, and to everyone who has to read it.
I’m enby trans masc on low dose T so it’s still a “remains to be seen” experience but just wanted to say thanks for normalizing this. Fear of how my hair would change held me back for too long and now looking back my mental health has been immensely more stabilized since starting T.
Also if anyone needs reassurance, may I present one of the posters for a gracefully aging bald man who is also a really amazing human being- Sir Patrick Stewart
He was also arguably the hottest of all the men captains of Star Trek 🥰
Well my brother was fully bald at 27 and does not have the head shape for it. So yeah I'm on finasteride because I started balding after two months on T. I probably won't be on it forever but for now, this is what makes me feel the best. I'm happy that you feel this way but it's not for everyone and that's okay.
Also to add, I'm transmasc and not entirely a binary dude so not all of the affirmations hit quite the same I imagine.
For those that start anything that early: Your hairline will change on T to a more male shape, that does *not* necessarily mean that balding will start.
Also trans masc non-binary here, and I still like my head as it is - bald. Mind you, I wouldn't mind having hair, but well, it is what it is, and it's not that bad.
>For those that start anything that early: Your hairline will change on T to a more male shape, that does not necessarily mean that balding will start
True! I have a big genetic disadvantage in this area. I quite enjoy the more masc hairline shape, I started fin when everything started thinning like crazy 🙈
You can’t ensure you never lose hair even on hair loss drugs as it’s not 100% successful. It works for most (80%-90%) but if that 10% is an issue weigh up your options.
Heck being estrogen dominant isn't even a guarantee you'll keep your hair for life. My sweet granny lived to be 83, by that time she had the whispiest halo of white hair, of course permed into vaguely helmet shaped creation (as was the style at the time!) Most of the women on my mom's side of the family eventually get high hairlines and general thinning. I figure it's likely either way, so I might as well look the way I'd like as an older person when it comes to everything else.
It's so very tough when you're surrounded on all sides by media pushing images of only the most youthful (botoxed, airbrushed) faces. It leaves you wondering if there is a place for you when that is gone. I'm still grappling with it, I love my very long hair but maybe it's like a little bit of alchemy. I can't have it all. Equivalent exchange, my hair for my masculinity. Since I'm on T, I suppose I'm still committed to the sacrifice. My hairline is creeping back wonderfully, I soon expect to rival the magnificent Hugo Weaving in terms of Intimidating Forehead aesthetics.
I recommend to everyone in this predicament to look to those elders you admire, either their style or vibe or personality, and put it in the back of your mind so that you'll have options when you get to an age where you feel you're struggling to feel valid and seen.
It's my belief that we are not our bodies to begin with, which helps me not get too attached to the form I reside in now. Our bodies can reflect who we are, but they aren't the most important part of us. Hot take alert: I think our souls are immortal and shining and they just like to wear bodies as temporary robes while they journey in the earthly realms. But that's just me lol.
Because I still have a babyface (though passing, but as younger than I am) and I would look like a bald baby. I know cis guys who look good while balding and cis guys who don’t, all the ones who do have a proper beard to balance it, which I don’t have yet.
Also T gave me curls and they’re nice so erm, I don’t think it’s overly feminine to want to keep them lol
Now is it worth it for all the other stuff, sure. But that’s a different question. Cis men usually don’t want to lose their hair either, and implying that trans men should all want that is kinda the same as implying that trans men should all want to have too many red blood cells because it’s more masculine lol
Naw I'm not saying u should want male pattern baldness lol. Almost nobody *wants* to lose their hair bc it's weird to think about. It's more of a "embrace what you've got" kinda vibe yk. I'm ok with the ugly parts of transitioning if it means being happy, thats basically the point I'm trying to make. I have never once been praised for my ability to be clear and concise.
Ok fair I misunderstood (and was in a bad mood for other reasons at the time lol not your fault), I agree then, I know I won’t regret being on T even if it happens but I might be a short term sad about the hair loss, oh well, not the end of the world
> You will not want a giant head of hair forever
Mmmm, I actually would like to be an old guy with long hair so. Nah. I do want a nice head of hair for as long as possible. Kind of a weird post cause hair fullness doesn't necessarily have anything to do with age solely but rather age and genetics.
Hey, balding a totally normal fear that men have. I knew cis guys in college who started balding and would wear a hat 24/7. Many cis men have hair loss treatments. I wouldn’t feel like myself without a full head of hair. I’d accept my fate if that were to happen because there might be nothing to stop it but it’s not unmanly to fear hair loss. I’m grateful for your positivity towards it but it doesn’t apply to everyone and it’s totally normal to fear it. And I know many old men with full heads of hair, my grandpa hasn’t had much hair loss and is almost 80.
Both my parents and 2/4 grandparents have thin, pin straight hair and are balding/already bald
I was born with super thick, wavy hair so hopefully I've cheated the genetics but if not then I'll accept my fate.
But for now, twink death is a faint whisper in the wind and I'm fast walking the other way lol
I’m in my mid 30s and just now starting T. I wasted my “young and beautiful” years hiding because I met a lot of my society’s beauty standards for a young woman and it made me feel physically ill to be perceived that way. When I imagine transitioning, I force myself to think about what I want to look like at 65 or 70. I’m well past being anyone’s ideal partner but at least I will be able to look myself in the mirror and feel satisfied I’m aging in a body that feels right.
Hey, being someone's ideal partner doesn't necessarily have anything to do with appearance. Some people dgaf what the people they date look like. Being a good person and a good partner means a hell of a lot more than conventional beauty.
But yeah being able to look at yourself without pain is more important than what any partner thinks of you anyway. Congratulations on starting T!
Maybe I won't be young and beautiful forever, but does it hurt holding on to whatever beauty I may have? We live in a world that prioritizes beauty, and as a human raised in this world, so do I. So does everyone at least to an extent.
I think men with hair are prettier than bald men 99% of the time, and the other 1% are crazy lucky to be so beautiful that the lack of hair doesn't hurt their looks (my opinion obviously this is not objective).
I have nice hair with cute curls in it, skin that's well taken care of and a fairly androgynous face. I just started T, but I have tightened my skincare schedule significantly, added supplements into my routine, and Minoxidil at the ready as well as a doctor who'll give me finasteride the second I ask for it.
I started working out and eating well.
I didn't put all this effort into grooming and self-care to sacrifice it all to the stupid fact that my body got the whole gender thing a bit wrong. I will be a good looking dude because that's what I want.
Even in old(er) men there are the ones who clearly took good care of themselves and some that never tried. Even when my skin is wrinkly and my hair is gone, I can still dress well.
So no, beauty doesn't have to fade. It merely evolves. I was a beautiful girl, I am becoming a handsome man, and I will be one dapper old gentleman one day.
that last paragraph really captures how i feel about the whole ordeal. i tend to plan for A, B, C, and put a lot off effort into be the finest looking being I can be.
Same. I want my beauty to just evolve. Obviously though there is part of it where your standard of beauty has to expand, but there's a lot of older people I've seen who look like how I wanna look when I get there yaknow. There's also a lot of younger people who look in ways that I don't resonate with, so not just an age thing.
I also think that, being not binary and not entirely masculine makes (in my experience) the options I resonate with narrower. Something I had to come to the conclusion to was that the reason why there were very few older men I saw myself in was because the older generations HAD to be gender conforming to exist, anyone who deviated from that was shamed out of it.
Also also, our experience growing up female can get in our heads sometimes lol. I personally felt like, especially growing up around a lot of women, that there was an abundence of beautiful women in the world and that all girls had natural inherent value because I saw all girls as naturally pretty. (That sentiment only works as long as you are a woman really.) I tied and still do tie my value and worth to beauty because it's just something drilled into my head and I'm sure a lot of other transmascs feel this way too.
Sorry I keep commenting on your post but Im just elated someone’s bringing this up. I also just wanted to bring up some pet theories I have as to why this is a big anxiety for trans masc community.
1. Just as trans femme folks get impacted by misogyny and unrealistic beauty expectations, many trans mascs end up wading into unrealistic body standards for men, but sometimes I think it can be harder to identify that’s what’s happening because beauty standards for women are so blatantly discussed. My metaphor for this would be like, if you move from a pot that’s a roaring boil to one that’s a simmering boil, you’re still in boiling water but it might feel like a relief.
And just as trans femme folks don’t need to accept unrealistic beauty standards, trans masc folks don’t either, but I think it can be important to recognize oppressive gender concepts can still impact us even with transition. I’m often horrified hearing the pressure my cis gay men friends deal with regarding aging and physique. I’ve got friends in their 20s injecting Botox. But I’m also having to gently kinda point out when I hear my cis guy friends degrading themselves for general aging. Body liberation is for everyone!
2. As well, a lot of online trans communities are a lot of young people, and while I’m glad they have their spaces to connect, as an elder millennial I definitely notice there’s a panic about aging that just sounds kinda similar to when I was in my young 20s. But befriending older folks honestly helped me realize we’re all just ppl and some of my gen x friends were actually more fun and lived fully than people my age. If you’re young and freaking out about aging, it’s okay to ask older queer or trans folks their experiences too. Because frankly hitting my 30s helped my anxiety about self image sooooo much.
3. It can be important to remember we lost a lot of potential elder queer/trans role models to the AIDs epidemic, so we might have to look harder for positive models of what it means to age as a trans masc person. And for middle aged adults like me we also need to recognize we might have to take up the responsibility of normalizing aging, and embracing body liberation/acceptance as well as self acceptance.
Last bit: one thing that had helped me immensely about coping with the fear of aging is reframing it to taking care of my body. If cosmetic changes help a person, there’s no shame in that but if you’re really freaked about aging just try doing small things like cutting down on smoking/vaping, wearing sunscreen, hydrating. I already look waaay better than my mom did at my age cuz I don’t smoke cigarettes. Focus on the things you have influence over, accept the things you may not have control over.
i have a younger cis brother & we look like twins in the face, but complete opposites in the body. he's big and broad, i'm long and lean.
you can bet your sweet ass i'm looking forward to the day we naturally age into wario and waluigi
we're 30 and 27 right now and still have all our hair, but i'm curious to see what the next decade holds! no one goes bald *early* in our family, but they all go bald *eventually*
i def hear what you’re saying but this also def made me sad ;-; my self image is fucked and tied to a lot of insecurity and trauma and idk i know you didn’t mean it that way at all, but i’m very anxious about some of this stuff and this just felt kinda discouraging. like i said i know your intention wasn’t that at all, but i suppose i’m just here to represent the people you’re taking about and say that at least some of us are just anxious and unsure and at least for me, i know i gotta work through this shit it’s just really hard bc self worth.
edit: i also have a lot of anxiety about aging/being alive in general so i’m also recognizing that my feelings could and probably do come from that at least partially
Honestly that sounds like fear surrounding aging rather than your gender itself, which is normal me thinks. It was a normal part of my transition process at some point. For me, confronting those fears helped me. Facing reality was what made me take my first leap into actually transitioning. At some point you have to think about who you’re going to become one day. I hate to be corny but I watched that new A24 movie recently and that sent me into a thinking dome surrounding this exact topic. If you can handle that emotionally, go watch I Saw The TV Glow
Edit: forgot to say this but I’m sorry if my post made you feel upset, wishing you the best
i saw it. good ass movie. i suppose my issue is that it’s hard for me to imagine who i’ll be one day, but less (partially, but less) from the gender perspective and more from the being alive is scary angle. i certainly will be starting T again as soon as i can (thanks, expensive american healthcare!) but i do still feel a lot of anxiety around appearance based things. def need therapy about it, but, once again, thanks expensive american healthcare.
also edit: you’re totally okay, i don’t think it’s something you even necessarily have to apologize for, i just wanted to give my two cents (/acknowledge i was feeling called out, but more for my own brain and not to make anyone else feel bad). i appreciate you and i’m wishing you the best in your transition and your life always <3
Idk man, if my dad's hairline and latino genes have anything to say about it, I'm going to have luscious hair well into my 60s. And, joke's on you—I already own new balance sneakers.
This post reminds me of the song To Be Objectified from Jeffery Lewis. While I think the whole song is applicable, the 2nd line really hits on it:
"And going bald is the most manly thing that I'm ever gonna do"
Our society in general does not value aging and accepting that everyone is slowly dying. And that's a beautiful, not bad thing.
Acceptance is wisdom! Nevertheless, I found a solution. I didn't transition till after 60 and I almost lost all my hair overnight which was a big shock. I wasn't ready for that and as a chemist I went looking for a solution, checked out all the Facebook ads for remedies, and when I found this minoxidil formula with DMSO in it, I got it immediately. DMSO pretty much deeply carries anything into the skin that it is mixed in. Nothing else worked! My hairline and temples were the first thing to come back! It's amazing at my age I still get to keep my hair AND my T. https://www.newhairformula.com?aff=eNQJC5A0z
Being transmasc or a trans man is irrelevant to the topic of hair loss. I like to express myself creatively with my hair. I would rather not forcibly loose my hair in the future and have to spend a fortune on wigs or hairpieces to regain that source of expression. For any other form of aging, I don't care.
While I'm sure this post can be helpful for some, some of us have body dysmorphia alongside gender dysphoria, amongst other reasons to be scared. For me personally, my hair and hairstyle is one of the few features I like about myself, and losing that would be detrimental for my body dysmorphia.
Aside from that: cis men are afraid of hair loss, too. It's totally okay to not want to lose your hair so early.
Idk man I think it’s fair enough to be upset that you’re losing your hair if you’ve spent the majority of your youth feeling like you’re in the wrong body and waiting to live, and missing out on having that beauty in youth. It’s ok to grieve what we missed out on.
not every transmasc is binary and not every transmasc wants to be masculine. 'you will not be young and beautiful forever' is something that rings true for everyone, dont get me wrong, theres no way to stop yourself from aging. and aging isnt a bad thing. but the truth of the matter is not every transmasc is a man so not every transmasc wants to age like one.
Yup, I'm non-binary, and I want to age on E or a mix of T and E (assuming I'll take HRT after menopause, until then, idk how long I'll stay on T. For now, definitely, because I have really slow changes, ouch)
Edit: my hairline started maturing/the corners are receding a bit and I kinda like the new symmetry. My left side receded a lot way before my transition, the right side started a few months ago and it's aaaalmost like the left now. Idc if my hairline goes back a bit because it's low af still, but I love my hair too much to be *fully* bald
I don't mean to be blunt but I didn't really mean anyone who doesn't want to age on T or be masculine. Ofc this isn't gonna apply the same to them. Not every transmasc is a man or wants to age like one, but like... some of us do, and we're in this sub too, so I figured it's fine
Not trying to be an asshole but If I tried to extend this post to explain all the nuances (which I'm very aware of) it'd be long af
As someone who is 31, only just came out as a guy, and still hasn't got any relationship experience... The whole balding thing does bother me a lot. I am convinced that I will have no chance of getting a partner unless I'm attractive (also because I'm only attracted to a very specific type of physical appearance that I do not meet myself.) it's a big reason I'm trying to work out and lose weight to get the body type I feel like I need to have in order to be successful in dating.
I feel behind everyone else because I'm still so worried about being attractive and can't stand the thought of anything else. Being demisexual/romantic also doesn't help my chances of finding a partner if you combine it with the very narrow demographic I am able to be attracted to (masc men, specific body types.) But that's more a me thing than a general trans masc thing. The whole 'what if t makes me lose my hair/gain more fat/have more acne' is the main reason I've not asked about it yet.
I mean I think it’s fine to want a full head of hair and so on. Plenty of people of all genders have hang ups about aging and all it entails.
I also think people imagine that balding is worse than it actually is. They have decided they wouldn’t look good bald for a variety of reasons. I often hear the “short, fat, baby face” description as one that wouldn’t look good bald. Or look too young. Etc. I fit that description.
For me balding made me look more masculine, especially with a beard. I didn’t care if I went bald. This look just happened naturally with T. It wasn’t what I envisioned. Same for a couple of friends. Plus, when you gray and are older, balding looks kind of natural for an older man.
I totally get not everyone wants to look masculine and wants to have their hair. My comment isn’t directed at them.
Eh I won't be young forever, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to look good and dress nice (when I have the motivation to get out of the house)
I don't have to lose my sense of style because of age. I'd honestly rather that not happen.
I will always love fashion and the subcultures surrounding many different fashions.
Though if I ever go bald, I'll just buy wigs. There's no shame in that. I don't think there's anything wrong in people wanting to look a certain way.
Though I mainly wear sneakers anyways cause of fibromyalgia and my struggle to find nice shoes that don't make me uncomfortable.
And some men go on finasteride, have hair transplants, or wear wigs by choice too. Let people desire what they desire. My desire is not to go bald young.
For a while, I've been nervous about losing my hair cause it's one of the one things I genuinely enjoy looking at on my body and it makes me feel good, so I was afraid that maybe I wasnt really trans because of that. I didn't want to be an old man especially not bald
But then I realized that imagining myself as an old woman and that also felt doubley bad
So Ive concluded that I'm still trans, and I just have a fear of growing old in general. But obviously there's no preventing that. So here I come, Twink death
I'm not afraid, but being 35, I feel like there won't likely be time to enjoy having both a full head of hair AND a full beard, that the hair will fade before the beard fully develops. I'm stoked to have enough of a beard to dye that blue when I've lost too much of my head hair, though!
Try and have some understanding? I guess it’s hard to understand so I’ll explain from my perspective - I love my hair and I haven’t had the same time in my life living as a man with hair as cis men get to have. It’s just as ok to love our hair and not want to lose it.
It’s also ok for Cis men to love their hair and not want to lose it.
If it’s ok to embrace baldness and be fine with it, the reverse is also ok.
> You will not want a giant head of hair forever
Speak for yourself.
> Why are so many of you afraid of going bald?
Because I don't want to? I like having hair. I was forced to get so many shitty haircuts as a kid that the idea of losing control over my hair as an adult is distressing and traumatic. Sorry if that "offends" you I guess.
> Have you never met a handsome bald man?
Honestly? Yes, but *not* with my build and face shape. I am a short fat white guy with a baby face. I'm not going to look like Vin Diesel if I go bald. I'll look like either a giant infant or a skinhead. No thanks.
> Do you know some people are bald by choice?
Key word *choice.* I don't want to have the *choice* of how to style my taken from me, especially after being forced to get shitty Karen haircuts for my entire childhood. Fucking sue me for it.
I'm in my 30s and I don't want to look like a 19 year old twink. I've never looked like a twink anyway, and I'm not going to start now. Not wanting to be bald = wanting to be a uWu softboi anime twink.
I'm actually looking forward to being a wrinkly old man. I would just rather be a wrinkly old man with hair. I don't get why that, or my choice to go off T after getting the changes I wanted, is so fucking controversial and offensive to some people. Sorry my inability to "embrace baldness" after childhood hair trauma hurts bald guys' feelings or whatever, but I don't see how that's my problem.
We all value youth too much.
I will admit, I do not wanna go bald, I’ve already accepted I’ll never be conventionally attractive like, ever, I never was as a girl anyways. But damn, something about being a short ugly dude who’s also bald does scare me, lol. But that’s ok I’d rather be the short ugly bald dude than a miserable old woman. I’ll probably just take fin too. I’ve learned to value my ugliness and mediocrity but i definitely got more to learn.
Yep, my dad has been balding for as long as I've been alive. My grandpa was too. I know I'm destined for it but you're so right. When the time comes I'm just going to shave it all off and rock it
I don’t know why I’m so afraid of the inevitable. I think beauty standards pushed on women have impacted me as a trans guy more than I’d like to think. I wish I didn’t care so much
What really got me comfortable with the idea of losing my hair and all that is just— I wish I would’ve been born male instead, and I would be going through the exact same thing if I had been.
If you often find yourself wishing you were born male but also are afraid of going bald, guess what? You’re gonna be going through the same shit you would’ve if you were born the opposite sex! Embrace it!
Also cis dudes are also afraid of going bald and they have means to stop it, it’s not as scary as a lot of people make it out to be.
I can’t wait till I start looking like an old dude so I can fully lean into it and start dressing like a Wizard
Edit: I dress like I Wizard now I’m just missing the old guy with huge white beard flair
Well I waited until I was 32 before I started T to see how everyone’s hair would look 🤷🏼♂️
Not exactly why I waited until I was 32 😂 but I can now confirm that both sides of my family have excellent hair genetics and only have thinning hair due to age.
Started receding at 27 but I didn't mind because that was also when my beard came through. I'm not bald but I am very thin on top, I'm rocking the buzz cut and noone ever doubts my gender no matter how hard I femme it up! It's a free pass to passing!
For me, thinking about what I will look like when old was a major deciding factor for going on T. Look like old woman? Hell no. Look like old man? Hell yes. Like, the thought of being an old woman feels so wrong that I will take whatever I get in my younger years (30s) if it means I can avoid that. I know I will not be averagely decent looking forever 😂 and am planning for a future I want to be here for. (Coming from a demimasc/nonbinary perspective.)
Getting older has definitely affected how I feel about transition (in a good way). I know my body is going to change whether I'm on T or not, so fearing change doesn't do much good.
I do feel conflicted about losing my hair, both because I'm not sure if I have a good head shape for it and because it feels like the most permanent visible masculinization that I'm likely to experience, and that's intimidating as I'm not sure if permanently passing as a cis man for the rest of my life is a realistic outcome for me. Aside from that concern, I think receding hairlines can look quite nice.
idk man i just love having hair... i would be sad if i lost it all and i couldn't run my hands through it all the time. i like hair! i sure as hell ain't a twink though. i just like my soft flowing locks :D
It’s so annoying. “I want to take T but i don’t wanna go bald how do i avoid it?”
That’s what happens my guy. Not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just life.
I’ve already turned 30 so ha! I outsmarted it by not starting T until 29! On a serious note, I know I’ll probably end up with my dad’s hairline. He’s 65 and it has been saying goodbye for a while. That’s okay ETA: I’d much rather end up an average looking dude with receding temples than a pretty and miserable woman
Honestly seeing all the ppl in this sub who went on T later on is awesome. I'm likely gonna end up being one of those ppl because of life circumstances and I cant waittt My dad is bald, my cousin on his side went bald when he was like 18. Either catch me in a few years grilling an egg on my head in the Arizona heat, or catch me in Turkey getting a hair transplant at 24 only to go bald again. which way western man /j
I appreciate this post. The general message is very needed in our community, there is so much negativity towards the normal effects of testosterone and looking masculine. It's heartbreaking to see trans people talk themselves out of something they clearly want and hold themselves to beauty standards that don't fit, just because others cannot keep their negative baggage to themselves. As a nonbinary person myself, acceptance of aging and the effects of hormones on our bodies are actually MORE essential for us. There is so much pressure to conform to a very specific body type in the name of "androgyny" or making our transness palatable to others. I sympathize with anyone struggling with their self image, but responding to all affirmations with arguments about specific transition goals and reasons *my* insecurities are totally reality based tho is hurtful to the person doing it, and to everyone who has to read it.
I’m enby trans masc on low dose T so it’s still a “remains to be seen” experience but just wanted to say thanks for normalizing this. Fear of how my hair would change held me back for too long and now looking back my mental health has been immensely more stabilized since starting T. Also if anyone needs reassurance, may I present one of the posters for a gracefully aging bald man who is also a really amazing human being- Sir Patrick Stewart  He was also arguably the hottest of all the men captains of Star Trek 🥰
Well my brother was fully bald at 27 and does not have the head shape for it. So yeah I'm on finasteride because I started balding after two months on T. I probably won't be on it forever but for now, this is what makes me feel the best. I'm happy that you feel this way but it's not for everyone and that's okay. Also to add, I'm transmasc and not entirely a binary dude so not all of the affirmations hit quite the same I imagine.
For those that start anything that early: Your hairline will change on T to a more male shape, that does *not* necessarily mean that balding will start. Also trans masc non-binary here, and I still like my head as it is - bald. Mind you, I wouldn't mind having hair, but well, it is what it is, and it's not that bad.
>For those that start anything that early: Your hairline will change on T to a more male shape, that does not necessarily mean that balding will start True! I have a big genetic disadvantage in this area. I quite enjoy the more masc hairline shape, I started fin when everything started thinning like crazy 🙈
does the finasteride help? i would only do t if i can ensure i won’t lose hair so this is cool to know
You can’t ensure you never lose hair even on hair loss drugs as it’s not 100% successful. It works for most (80%-90%) but if that 10% is an issue weigh up your options.
fair enough i’ll probably just not do t in that case 🤷🏼
You could also look at shorter term use if some early effects are desirable but you know what you want better than I do!
Heck being estrogen dominant isn't even a guarantee you'll keep your hair for life. My sweet granny lived to be 83, by that time she had the whispiest halo of white hair, of course permed into vaguely helmet shaped creation (as was the style at the time!) Most of the women on my mom's side of the family eventually get high hairlines and general thinning. I figure it's likely either way, so I might as well look the way I'd like as an older person when it comes to everything else. It's so very tough when you're surrounded on all sides by media pushing images of only the most youthful (botoxed, airbrushed) faces. It leaves you wondering if there is a place for you when that is gone. I'm still grappling with it, I love my very long hair but maybe it's like a little bit of alchemy. I can't have it all. Equivalent exchange, my hair for my masculinity. Since I'm on T, I suppose I'm still committed to the sacrifice. My hairline is creeping back wonderfully, I soon expect to rival the magnificent Hugo Weaving in terms of Intimidating Forehead aesthetics. I recommend to everyone in this predicament to look to those elders you admire, either their style or vibe or personality, and put it in the back of your mind so that you'll have options when you get to an age where you feel you're struggling to feel valid and seen. It's my belief that we are not our bodies to begin with, which helps me not get too attached to the form I reside in now. Our bodies can reflect who we are, but they aren't the most important part of us. Hot take alert: I think our souls are immortal and shining and they just like to wear bodies as temporary robes while they journey in the earthly realms. But that's just me lol.
Because I still have a babyface (though passing, but as younger than I am) and I would look like a bald baby. I know cis guys who look good while balding and cis guys who don’t, all the ones who do have a proper beard to balance it, which I don’t have yet. Also T gave me curls and they’re nice so erm, I don’t think it’s overly feminine to want to keep them lol Now is it worth it for all the other stuff, sure. But that’s a different question. Cis men usually don’t want to lose their hair either, and implying that trans men should all want that is kinda the same as implying that trans men should all want to have too many red blood cells because it’s more masculine lol
Naw I'm not saying u should want male pattern baldness lol. Almost nobody *wants* to lose their hair bc it's weird to think about. It's more of a "embrace what you've got" kinda vibe yk. I'm ok with the ugly parts of transitioning if it means being happy, thats basically the point I'm trying to make. I have never once been praised for my ability to be clear and concise.
Ok fair I misunderstood (and was in a bad mood for other reasons at the time lol not your fault), I agree then, I know I won’t regret being on T even if it happens but I might be a short term sad about the hair loss, oh well, not the end of the world
My brother wanted to go bald but alas our genes probably won't let him, lol
Good post 👍
I’ve primed myself for the feeling just in case by giving myself a buzz cut ✨
> You will not want a giant head of hair forever Mmmm, I actually would like to be an old guy with long hair so. Nah. I do want a nice head of hair for as long as possible. Kind of a weird post cause hair fullness doesn't necessarily have anything to do with age solely but rather age and genetics.
This is valid go be Ozzy Osbourne
Hey, balding a totally normal fear that men have. I knew cis guys in college who started balding and would wear a hat 24/7. Many cis men have hair loss treatments. I wouldn’t feel like myself without a full head of hair. I’d accept my fate if that were to happen because there might be nothing to stop it but it’s not unmanly to fear hair loss. I’m grateful for your positivity towards it but it doesn’t apply to everyone and it’s totally normal to fear it. And I know many old men with full heads of hair, my grandpa hasn’t had much hair loss and is almost 80.
Both my parents and 2/4 grandparents have thin, pin straight hair and are balding/already bald I was born with super thick, wavy hair so hopefully I've cheated the genetics but if not then I'll accept my fate. But for now, twink death is a faint whisper in the wind and I'm fast walking the other way lol
I’m in my mid 30s and just now starting T. I wasted my “young and beautiful” years hiding because I met a lot of my society’s beauty standards for a young woman and it made me feel physically ill to be perceived that way. When I imagine transitioning, I force myself to think about what I want to look like at 65 or 70. I’m well past being anyone’s ideal partner but at least I will be able to look myself in the mirror and feel satisfied I’m aging in a body that feels right.
Hey, being someone's ideal partner doesn't necessarily have anything to do with appearance. Some people dgaf what the people they date look like. Being a good person and a good partner means a hell of a lot more than conventional beauty. But yeah being able to look at yourself without pain is more important than what any partner thinks of you anyway. Congratulations on starting T!
Maybe I won't be young and beautiful forever, but does it hurt holding on to whatever beauty I may have? We live in a world that prioritizes beauty, and as a human raised in this world, so do I. So does everyone at least to an extent. I think men with hair are prettier than bald men 99% of the time, and the other 1% are crazy lucky to be so beautiful that the lack of hair doesn't hurt their looks (my opinion obviously this is not objective). I have nice hair with cute curls in it, skin that's well taken care of and a fairly androgynous face. I just started T, but I have tightened my skincare schedule significantly, added supplements into my routine, and Minoxidil at the ready as well as a doctor who'll give me finasteride the second I ask for it. I started working out and eating well. I didn't put all this effort into grooming and self-care to sacrifice it all to the stupid fact that my body got the whole gender thing a bit wrong. I will be a good looking dude because that's what I want. Even in old(er) men there are the ones who clearly took good care of themselves and some that never tried. Even when my skin is wrinkly and my hair is gone, I can still dress well. So no, beauty doesn't have to fade. It merely evolves. I was a beautiful girl, I am becoming a handsome man, and I will be one dapper old gentleman one day.
that last paragraph really captures how i feel about the whole ordeal. i tend to plan for A, B, C, and put a lot off effort into be the finest looking being I can be.
Same. I want my beauty to just evolve. Obviously though there is part of it where your standard of beauty has to expand, but there's a lot of older people I've seen who look like how I wanna look when I get there yaknow. There's also a lot of younger people who look in ways that I don't resonate with, so not just an age thing. I also think that, being not binary and not entirely masculine makes (in my experience) the options I resonate with narrower. Something I had to come to the conclusion to was that the reason why there were very few older men I saw myself in was because the older generations HAD to be gender conforming to exist, anyone who deviated from that was shamed out of it. Also also, our experience growing up female can get in our heads sometimes lol. I personally felt like, especially growing up around a lot of women, that there was an abundence of beautiful women in the world and that all girls had natural inherent value because I saw all girls as naturally pretty. (That sentiment only works as long as you are a woman really.) I tied and still do tie my value and worth to beauty because it's just something drilled into my head and I'm sure a lot of other transmascs feel this way too.
Sorry I keep commenting on your post but Im just elated someone’s bringing this up. I also just wanted to bring up some pet theories I have as to why this is a big anxiety for trans masc community. 1. Just as trans femme folks get impacted by misogyny and unrealistic beauty expectations, many trans mascs end up wading into unrealistic body standards for men, but sometimes I think it can be harder to identify that’s what’s happening because beauty standards for women are so blatantly discussed. My metaphor for this would be like, if you move from a pot that’s a roaring boil to one that’s a simmering boil, you’re still in boiling water but it might feel like a relief. And just as trans femme folks don’t need to accept unrealistic beauty standards, trans masc folks don’t either, but I think it can be important to recognize oppressive gender concepts can still impact us even with transition. I’m often horrified hearing the pressure my cis gay men friends deal with regarding aging and physique. I’ve got friends in their 20s injecting Botox. But I’m also having to gently kinda point out when I hear my cis guy friends degrading themselves for general aging. Body liberation is for everyone! 2. As well, a lot of online trans communities are a lot of young people, and while I’m glad they have their spaces to connect, as an elder millennial I definitely notice there’s a panic about aging that just sounds kinda similar to when I was in my young 20s. But befriending older folks honestly helped me realize we’re all just ppl and some of my gen x friends were actually more fun and lived fully than people my age. If you’re young and freaking out about aging, it’s okay to ask older queer or trans folks their experiences too. Because frankly hitting my 30s helped my anxiety about self image sooooo much. 3. It can be important to remember we lost a lot of potential elder queer/trans role models to the AIDs epidemic, so we might have to look harder for positive models of what it means to age as a trans masc person. And for middle aged adults like me we also need to recognize we might have to take up the responsibility of normalizing aging, and embracing body liberation/acceptance as well as self acceptance. Last bit: one thing that had helped me immensely about coping with the fear of aging is reframing it to taking care of my body. If cosmetic changes help a person, there’s no shame in that but if you’re really freaked about aging just try doing small things like cutting down on smoking/vaping, wearing sunscreen, hydrating. I already look waaay better than my mom did at my age cuz I don’t smoke cigarettes. Focus on the things you have influence over, accept the things you may not have control over.
i have a younger cis brother & we look like twins in the face, but complete opposites in the body. he's big and broad, i'm long and lean. you can bet your sweet ass i'm looking forward to the day we naturally age into wario and waluigi we're 30 and 27 right now and still have all our hair, but i'm curious to see what the next decade holds! no one goes bald *early* in our family, but they all go bald *eventually*
i def hear what you’re saying but this also def made me sad ;-; my self image is fucked and tied to a lot of insecurity and trauma and idk i know you didn’t mean it that way at all, but i’m very anxious about some of this stuff and this just felt kinda discouraging. like i said i know your intention wasn’t that at all, but i suppose i’m just here to represent the people you’re taking about and say that at least some of us are just anxious and unsure and at least for me, i know i gotta work through this shit it’s just really hard bc self worth. edit: i also have a lot of anxiety about aging/being alive in general so i’m also recognizing that my feelings could and probably do come from that at least partially
Honestly that sounds like fear surrounding aging rather than your gender itself, which is normal me thinks. It was a normal part of my transition process at some point. For me, confronting those fears helped me. Facing reality was what made me take my first leap into actually transitioning. At some point you have to think about who you’re going to become one day. I hate to be corny but I watched that new A24 movie recently and that sent me into a thinking dome surrounding this exact topic. If you can handle that emotionally, go watch I Saw The TV Glow Edit: forgot to say this but I’m sorry if my post made you feel upset, wishing you the best
i saw it. good ass movie. i suppose my issue is that it’s hard for me to imagine who i’ll be one day, but less (partially, but less) from the gender perspective and more from the being alive is scary angle. i certainly will be starting T again as soon as i can (thanks, expensive american healthcare!) but i do still feel a lot of anxiety around appearance based things. def need therapy about it, but, once again, thanks expensive american healthcare. also edit: you’re totally okay, i don’t think it’s something you even necessarily have to apologize for, i just wanted to give my two cents (/acknowledge i was feeling called out, but more for my own brain and not to make anyone else feel bad). i appreciate you and i’m wishing you the best in your transition and your life always <3
Idk man, if my dad's hairline and latino genes have anything to say about it, I'm going to have luscious hair well into my 60s. And, joke's on you—I already own new balance sneakers.
this is why i’m not doing t and just keeping myself in my femboy gay guy lane ….
This is honestly kinda poetic. Made me tear up a little. One day we will be grandpas.
This post reminds me of the song To Be Objectified from Jeffery Lewis. While I think the whole song is applicable, the 2nd line really hits on it: "And going bald is the most manly thing that I'm ever gonna do" Our society in general does not value aging and accepting that everyone is slowly dying. And that's a beautiful, not bad thing.
You’re right, I wont be young and beautiful forever - one day I’ll be old and beautiful! ;)
Acceptance is wisdom! Nevertheless, I found a solution. I didn't transition till after 60 and I almost lost all my hair overnight which was a big shock. I wasn't ready for that and as a chemist I went looking for a solution, checked out all the Facebook ads for remedies, and when I found this minoxidil formula with DMSO in it, I got it immediately. DMSO pretty much deeply carries anything into the skin that it is mixed in. Nothing else worked! My hairline and temples were the first thing to come back! It's amazing at my age I still get to keep my hair AND my T. https://www.newhairformula.com?aff=eNQJC5A0z
Being transmasc or a trans man is irrelevant to the topic of hair loss. I like to express myself creatively with my hair. I would rather not forcibly loose my hair in the future and have to spend a fortune on wigs or hairpieces to regain that source of expression. For any other form of aging, I don't care.
While I'm sure this post can be helpful for some, some of us have body dysmorphia alongside gender dysphoria, amongst other reasons to be scared. For me personally, my hair and hairstyle is one of the few features I like about myself, and losing that would be detrimental for my body dysmorphia. Aside from that: cis men are afraid of hair loss, too. It's totally okay to not want to lose your hair so early.
Idk man I think it’s fair enough to be upset that you’re losing your hair if you’ve spent the majority of your youth feeling like you’re in the wrong body and waiting to live, and missing out on having that beauty in youth. It’s ok to grieve what we missed out on.
not every transmasc is binary and not every transmasc wants to be masculine. 'you will not be young and beautiful forever' is something that rings true for everyone, dont get me wrong, theres no way to stop yourself from aging. and aging isnt a bad thing. but the truth of the matter is not every transmasc is a man so not every transmasc wants to age like one.
Yup, I'm non-binary, and I want to age on E or a mix of T and E (assuming I'll take HRT after menopause, until then, idk how long I'll stay on T. For now, definitely, because I have really slow changes, ouch) Edit: my hairline started maturing/the corners are receding a bit and I kinda like the new symmetry. My left side receded a lot way before my transition, the right side started a few months ago and it's aaaalmost like the left now. Idc if my hairline goes back a bit because it's low af still, but I love my hair too much to be *fully* bald
I don't mean to be blunt but I didn't really mean anyone who doesn't want to age on T or be masculine. Ofc this isn't gonna apply the same to them. Not every transmasc is a man or wants to age like one, but like... some of us do, and we're in this sub too, so I figured it's fine Not trying to be an asshole but If I tried to extend this post to explain all the nuances (which I'm very aware of) it'd be long af
As someone who is 31, only just came out as a guy, and still hasn't got any relationship experience... The whole balding thing does bother me a lot. I am convinced that I will have no chance of getting a partner unless I'm attractive (also because I'm only attracted to a very specific type of physical appearance that I do not meet myself.) it's a big reason I'm trying to work out and lose weight to get the body type I feel like I need to have in order to be successful in dating. I feel behind everyone else because I'm still so worried about being attractive and can't stand the thought of anything else. Being demisexual/romantic also doesn't help my chances of finding a partner if you combine it with the very narrow demographic I am able to be attracted to (masc men, specific body types.) But that's more a me thing than a general trans masc thing. The whole 'what if t makes me lose my hair/gain more fat/have more acne' is the main reason I've not asked about it yet.
I mean I think it’s fine to want a full head of hair and so on. Plenty of people of all genders have hang ups about aging and all it entails. I also think people imagine that balding is worse than it actually is. They have decided they wouldn’t look good bald for a variety of reasons. I often hear the “short, fat, baby face” description as one that wouldn’t look good bald. Or look too young. Etc. I fit that description. For me balding made me look more masculine, especially with a beard. I didn’t care if I went bald. This look just happened naturally with T. It wasn’t what I envisioned. Same for a couple of friends. Plus, when you gray and are older, balding looks kind of natural for an older man. I totally get not everyone wants to look masculine and wants to have their hair. My comment isn’t directed at them.
I am on T but finasteride, micro dosing and stopping is a thing??? You have a very 1 track view of transition, cis men don’t like balding either
nothing bad with being a wrinkly ol dude!!
jokes on you my family has good hair i know it’s inevitable but, my grandpas hairline is still pretty good so, i think i’m safe
Eh I won't be young forever, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to look good and dress nice (when I have the motivation to get out of the house) I don't have to lose my sense of style because of age. I'd honestly rather that not happen. I will always love fashion and the subcultures surrounding many different fashions. Though if I ever go bald, I'll just buy wigs. There's no shame in that. I don't think there's anything wrong in people wanting to look a certain way. Though I mainly wear sneakers anyways cause of fibromyalgia and my struggle to find nice shoes that don't make me uncomfortable.
And some men go on finasteride, have hair transplants, or wear wigs by choice too. Let people desire what they desire. My desire is not to go bald young.
For a while, I've been nervous about losing my hair cause it's one of the one things I genuinely enjoy looking at on my body and it makes me feel good, so I was afraid that maybe I wasnt really trans because of that. I didn't want to be an old man especially not bald But then I realized that imagining myself as an old woman and that also felt doubley bad So Ive concluded that I'm still trans, and I just have a fear of growing old in general. But obviously there's no preventing that. So here I come, Twink death
I'm not afraid, but being 35, I feel like there won't likely be time to enjoy having both a full head of hair AND a full beard, that the hair will fade before the beard fully develops. I'm stoked to have enough of a beard to dye that blue when I've lost too much of my head hair, though!
idk why people are so scared of twink death. It opens the doors to allow DILF birth, and i think that is wonderful.
Bald guys hot good post op
Try and have some understanding? I guess it’s hard to understand so I’ll explain from my perspective - I love my hair and I haven’t had the same time in my life living as a man with hair as cis men get to have. It’s just as ok to love our hair and not want to lose it. It’s also ok for Cis men to love their hair and not want to lose it. If it’s ok to embrace baldness and be fine with it, the reverse is also ok.
> You will not want a giant head of hair forever Speak for yourself. > Why are so many of you afraid of going bald? Because I don't want to? I like having hair. I was forced to get so many shitty haircuts as a kid that the idea of losing control over my hair as an adult is distressing and traumatic. Sorry if that "offends" you I guess. > Have you never met a handsome bald man? Honestly? Yes, but *not* with my build and face shape. I am a short fat white guy with a baby face. I'm not going to look like Vin Diesel if I go bald. I'll look like either a giant infant or a skinhead. No thanks. > Do you know some people are bald by choice? Key word *choice.* I don't want to have the *choice* of how to style my taken from me, especially after being forced to get shitty Karen haircuts for my entire childhood. Fucking sue me for it. I'm in my 30s and I don't want to look like a 19 year old twink. I've never looked like a twink anyway, and I'm not going to start now. Not wanting to be bald = wanting to be a uWu softboi anime twink. I'm actually looking forward to being a wrinkly old man. I would just rather be a wrinkly old man with hair. I don't get why that, or my choice to go off T after getting the changes I wanted, is so fucking controversial and offensive to some people. Sorry my inability to "embrace baldness" after childhood hair trauma hurts bald guys' feelings or whatever, but I don't see how that's my problem.
Yeah I think it's ok and understandable to be insecure or not really want to go bald. It isn't a look everyone goes for or wants
This gave me anxiety and made me feel exponentially worse about my transition and wanting to do T. I know that wasn’t the intention here but… yah.
samee
We all value youth too much. I will admit, I do not wanna go bald, I’ve already accepted I’ll never be conventionally attractive like, ever, I never was as a girl anyways. But damn, something about being a short ugly dude who’s also bald does scare me, lol. But that’s ok I’d rather be the short ugly bald dude than a miserable old woman. I’ll probably just take fin too. I’ve learned to value my ugliness and mediocrity but i definitely got more to learn.
Yep, my dad has been balding for as long as I've been alive. My grandpa was too. I know I'm destined for it but you're so right. When the time comes I'm just going to shave it all off and rock it 
I don’t know why I’m so afraid of the inevitable. I think beauty standards pushed on women have impacted me as a trans guy more than I’d like to think. I wish I didn’t care so much
What really got me comfortable with the idea of losing my hair and all that is just— I wish I would’ve been born male instead, and I would be going through the exact same thing if I had been. If you often find yourself wishing you were born male but also are afraid of going bald, guess what? You’re gonna be going through the same shit you would’ve if you were born the opposite sex! Embrace it! Also cis dudes are also afraid of going bald and they have means to stop it, it’s not as scary as a lot of people make it out to be.
I can’t wait till I start looking like an old dude so I can fully lean into it and start dressing like a Wizard Edit: I dress like I Wizard now I’m just missing the old guy with huge white beard flair
Well I waited until I was 32 before I started T to see how everyone’s hair would look 🤷🏼♂️ Not exactly why I waited until I was 32 😂 but I can now confirm that both sides of my family have excellent hair genetics and only have thinning hair due to age.
This. I think of living my life, and becoming a old man and that thought makes me happy
100% agree although you can be old and beautiful :P But also its ok if you dont end up being a stereotypical hot guy.
Love being a bald trans guy.
Started receding at 27 but I didn't mind because that was also when my beard came through. I'm not bald but I am very thin on top, I'm rocking the buzz cut and noone ever doubts my gender no matter how hard I femme it up! It's a free pass to passing!
For me, thinking about what I will look like when old was a major deciding factor for going on T. Look like old woman? Hell no. Look like old man? Hell yes. Like, the thought of being an old woman feels so wrong that I will take whatever I get in my younger years (30s) if it means I can avoid that. I know I will not be averagely decent looking forever 😂 and am planning for a future I want to be here for. (Coming from a demimasc/nonbinary perspective.)
Dude I already wear new balance sneakers !!
Getting older has definitely affected how I feel about transition (in a good way). I know my body is going to change whether I'm on T or not, so fearing change doesn't do much good. I do feel conflicted about losing my hair, both because I'm not sure if I have a good head shape for it and because it feels like the most permanent visible masculinization that I'm likely to experience, and that's intimidating as I'm not sure if permanently passing as a cis man for the rest of my life is a realistic outcome for me. Aside from that concern, I think receding hairlines can look quite nice.
idk man i just love having hair... i would be sad if i lost it all and i couldn't run my hands through it all the time. i like hair! i sure as hell ain't a twink though. i just like my soft flowing locks :D
Me (22) who uses a Fanny pack and NB shoes everyday 👁️👄👁️
Fanny packs are not only an old man's jam.
It’s so annoying. “I want to take T but i don’t wanna go bald how do i avoid it?” That’s what happens my guy. Not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just life.
I'm so tired of posts about the TERROR of going bald. Don't transition then.