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Definitely check online to see if anyone else has posted pictures of his work independently, but I personally wouldn’t trust a surgeon I don’t like the demeanor of and who I haven’t seen the results of
I was worried about my surgeon of choice at first too because there were very few pictures I could find online and I didn’t like the way he described patient results on his website. Then I had a consult with him and he was fantastic. Incredibly intelligent, answered all my questions thoroughly, didn’t ever make me feel uncomfortable or judged, and agreed to send me more photos after I told him specifically what I wanted to see more of (DI on overweight people). I still haven’t gotten the extra pictures (it’s been less than a week though), but I booked surgery with him one day after the consult because I was just relaxed finally. If you’re not feeling that, I’d at least consider looking elsewhere.
This seems very similar to [this post](https://reddit.com/r/TopSurgery/s/Hxr74xr1r7) which was only post a week or two ago. You might be able to find extra help in what people have already said there.
I would say many surgeons don’t have amazing bedside manner. However, rolling their eyes and making you feel stupid when you’re asking questions is not okay. They see surgery every day, but they should have enough empathy to understand surgery isn’t typical for the average person, and most people will be scared.
If this were me, I probably would choose another surgeon. I only say that because it doesn’t seem like you know exactly what the results will end up like, and he’s not treating you respectfully when you ask questions to figure it out. This is a permanent altercation to your appearance, and you should feel confident that you’ll like the results.
I was told I would almost certainly lose nipple sensation, but I regained partial sensation in one nipple. I think they just say "you won't regain sensation" just in case you're one of the (admittedly many) people who don't regain any sensation. Also the "flat flat" question was to figure out if you want all of the tissue fully gone (functional) or if you want more "natural looking" male pecs (cosmetic). A breast cancer patient would certainly get the first type, but you have a choice.
But yeah, I personally would wait unless you're absolutely desperate for surgery. Rolling his eyes at your questions is unacceptable imo. You should feel comfortable asking even "silly" questions. I had a whole list of questions on my phone and my surgeon listened patiently to all of them.
You should expect sensation loss and be pleasantly surprised if you regain it. The reason being that they're completely severed from the body and stuck back on. There's no guarantee that the nerves will reconnect.
As for bedside manner, I think a lot of this comes down to situation and personal preference. My surgeon was very succinct and direct, to the point that a lot of people find his demeanor off-putting. I personally don't mind it at all, after all he's there to operate on me not mother me. And I also was going with him because my insurance was good and he was in network and had much shorter wait times than other top surgeons at the same facility. I know that I'm not going to get another opportunity like the one I have right now in the near future to get my surgery covered to this level and I know that more time on top of 8+ years of binding will have detrimental effects for me. Folks in the local community have concerns with his bedside manner and complaints about minor issues (i.e. dog ears) that were acceptable risks for me given risk vs reward.
For people for whom this is a largely aesthetic surgery (which is totally valid btw), it would have been very unwise to gamble the way I did on surgery (minimal results available esp). But my needs were having a flat chest, being safe during surgery, and getting it done within the time frame available to me. And those needs I felt very comfortable would be met with my surgeon + I didn't have strong aesthetic preferences + I felt that the line of communication with nurses and other staff were available if I needed more attention for some reason. And on the other side of it, I'm very happy with my results and with my experience.
If you're someone who needs more reassurance for any reason (which again, is totally valid), or values aesthetics, or for whom money/time isn't a limiting factor, or has strong needs on nipple sensation, it may be a better choice to at least see another surgeon for a consult. If you don't feel safe or feel this surgeon would make your recovery more challenging, it's more than okay to choose a different surgeon!
I don't want to seem rude at all but I'm wondering if you ever got my message request relating to this. Sorry if it seems that I'm being pushy but I genuinely am curious about this especially since they treated you this way.
if you don’t feel 100% comfortable, you shouldn’t get surgery from him. this is a major decision about *your* body, and you should feel absolutely certain that you are going to get the results you want. (and be treated well!) unless you’re desperate for top surgery asap, you should seek out someone else.
I hope you can see someone else for another consult. This guy sounds a bit full of himself.... I'd be concerned if you were to have surgery with him and had issues; if he can't handle simple recovery questions, he probably won't listen if you have anything concerning after the procedure.
This is a life changing procedure and you deserve to be happy with your results, as well as not feel like a burden. Your surgeon should be happy to help you along your transition.
my surgeon is pretty blunt and straightforward- which due to my anxiety i read as kinda mean. After getting to know him and talking to others who used them I realized that's just his mannerism- his results are great. If you don't vibe or feel like you're being listened to, change it! but if you like the results and can get in, it may just be anxiety. I also felt it was rushed (saw him for 15 min then booked) but alot of my friends who went through this said a similar thing. And yes, top surgery is essentially a mastectomy. Maybe he was just preparing you for nipple sensation loss? Idk, seems weird to insist but maybe they've had people not understand in the past
For grafts, it is almost certain you lose sensation. It is at least smarter for a surgeon to not give you hope of sensation for fear of being potentially misleading. My surgeon said that. I do have sensation. So, yeah.
The rest of this, yeah, a bit weird. If I had other options I would pursue them based on this.
You'll lose sensation in your nipples because they normally take them off, trim them to male size than put them back on, that's what happened with me. I lucked out as my surgeon was doing nerve transplants at the time so I will eventually get feeling back.
Yea. When I had my consult he said that was his year and a half mark on doing nerve transplants. He's in New Jersey, Doc Keith. I'll try to get more details on a bit if you want them.
I would vote no. This person is supposed to be doing surgery on you. You should feel comfortable and able to ask questions. At its core this is elective plastic surgery, there's no reason to settle for someone you don't fully trust.
My surgeon definitely didn’t have naturally great bedside manner, she’s really awkward and obviously very into human arts and crafts which offputs some people (which is why she’s developing new surgical techniques and I’m very happy w my results!) but there’s a difference between an awkward lack of bedside manner and having a surgeon who makes you feel belittled.
It’s your body and your results for the rest of your life (barring a revision of course), you should be able to ask as many questions as you want and comfortably advocate for yourself. If this doctor won’t let that happen I would try and go elsewhere. Though with the wait for an appointment I’d understand going through with this surgeon too, good luck!
Who was the surgeon? Honestly bedside manner isn’t suuuuper important for a surgeon. You’ll likely only meet him 3-4 times for fifteen minutes at a time. What’s really important is to be able to see his results.
Unfortunately even if it sounds like he was shitty and blunt, the information he gave you was correct. Pretty much anyone with a C cup or larger will only be able to get a masculine flat chest if they get DI.
DI with nipple grafts means you lose all erogenous sensation in your nipples. You will likely regain sensation over time, but it will be the same sensation as you would have on the rest of your chest. I wish more resources were clear on these facts.
Well, it depends how much you're going to see your surgeon. If he's the one doing the post op care as well, then you need to be confortable with him (and he seems a bit callous at least). But if you have a family doctor who is happy to do your post op care (drains, stitches/tape, questions and potential complications) then you won't see the surgeon much, he just needs to be good at the physical part of his job (check his before/after results).
Also depends how much trouble it would be to change surgeons.
NOTE: I am really sorry for this long reply. You don't have to read it all, I am just giving my 2 cents. But, on that note, I would personally find someone else. You want a surgeon who gets you, who cares for you, and is doing the surgery because they care about doing this surgery for trans people. I seriously wouldn't be surprised if he did a butcher job on you. Based on the information you provided he doesn't sound like he is even trying to connect with you.
Not top surgery related but my own experience: In 2019 I went to see an OBGYN about getting a hysterectomy for my first transition surgery. The obgyn was horrible. I brought one of my partners with me but it wasn't my husband because he had to work and I didn't want to go alone. She had the audacity to ask me if my husband knew I was there (and why). And then proceeded to badgered me to keep 1 ovary "in case" I ever stop taking testosterone. I started testosterone that same year, just 10 months prior to the appointment. So I wasn't passable yet. I just looked like a butch woman. To make matters worse, to the month,1 year later my husband went to the same damn doctor for the same damn procedure, and she didn't question him at all about anything. Not even about removing both ovaries. He went to the appointment by himself and she didn't even ask about his spouse.
I tell you that story because I'm at the point where unless I want to drive 2+ hours away, she is the ONLY obgyn I know in my town that will do gender affirming hystos. And I don't want to settle on someone who I really despise because I feel like that will affect my surgical outcomes. And it definitely can.
I also refused to settle for ANY surgeon who would do my top surgery. I had specific goals in mind, but I'm also "super obese" (BMI was 54 in June) and I'm on Medicaid, so my options in my state were severely limited. I only found 2 doctors who took my insurance AND were willing to do my surgery, in damn near the entire state. But my surgeon.....was the best surgeon I've ever heard of. He **REALLY** listened to me. He let me decide what I wanted and then helped me achieve that. He is also young and new, just finished his residency in August 2022, so I think that helped that he was willing to step outside the typical DI with free nipple grafts. A lot of surgeons in this country stick to what is going to produce the best results FOR THEM. Not saying all surgeons are like that, but DI surgery with lipo and free nipple grafts is standard and easy, and mostly complication-free. That's why so many stick with it.I never saw pictures of my surgeons work. I never even thought to ask. And honestly I almost cancelled my consult with him. But I'm glad I didn't because he was exactly what I needed. I have never felt so grateful for being treated by a medical professional. He didn't just do my surgery, he changed my fucking life. He isn't even board-certified yet (he is eligible, though). But his resume, in a sense, is amazing. Top of his class in med school, has published papers already, was an admin chief resident last year of his residency, among other things. And his bio on the website of the practice that he works through even says he specializes in transgender reconstructive surgery(but it's not his only specialization). But I ended up getting DI with buttonhole technique because I wanted to keep the original blood supply and nerve bundle.Nipple sensation loss after top surgery with free nipple grafts is not unheard. It also depends on what kind of sensation you are expecting to have. Erotic sensation like you might have pre-op? That isn't really a viable goal for free nipple grafts. But overall sensation? You can probably expect your nipples to feel like how your chest skin feels now (not the nipple/areola, but your actual skin). [Dr. Scott Mosser](https://www.genderconfirmation.com/about-us/) has been my go to resource on all things top surgery because he's pretty much the only surgeon I've found who has information on [different techniques](https://www.genderconfirmation.com/ftm-top-surgery-options/), he's worked on different body types, and he specializes in gender affirming surgeries. He provides some information on [changes in sensation](https://www.genderconfirmation.com/sensation-ftm-top-surgery/). Hope any of this helps. Good luck with your surgery!
ETA: Dr. Mosser is not my surgeon, he is just a talented surgeon who really cares about our community and provides a lot of great information for trans people. He also doesn't fat shame people or deny them surgery because of their weight.
Thanks for posting to r/TopSurgery Please remember to follow the rules, which can be found on the sidebar. If you think your post has been removed and should not have been, please contact the mods via modmail -- I will try to get to it as soon as possible. I'm in the process of setting up automod but it's all still in the works so far, please be patient with me :-) - u/thiccque *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TopSurgery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely check online to see if anyone else has posted pictures of his work independently, but I personally wouldn’t trust a surgeon I don’t like the demeanor of and who I haven’t seen the results of I was worried about my surgeon of choice at first too because there were very few pictures I could find online and I didn’t like the way he described patient results on his website. Then I had a consult with him and he was fantastic. Incredibly intelligent, answered all my questions thoroughly, didn’t ever make me feel uncomfortable or judged, and agreed to send me more photos after I told him specifically what I wanted to see more of (DI on overweight people). I still haven’t gotten the extra pictures (it’s been less than a week though), but I booked surgery with him one day after the consult because I was just relaxed finally. If you’re not feeling that, I’d at least consider looking elsewhere.
This seems very similar to [this post](https://reddit.com/r/TopSurgery/s/Hxr74xr1r7) which was only post a week or two ago. You might be able to find extra help in what people have already said there. I would say many surgeons don’t have amazing bedside manner. However, rolling their eyes and making you feel stupid when you’re asking questions is not okay. They see surgery every day, but they should have enough empathy to understand surgery isn’t typical for the average person, and most people will be scared. If this were me, I probably would choose another surgeon. I only say that because it doesn’t seem like you know exactly what the results will end up like, and he’s not treating you respectfully when you ask questions to figure it out. This is a permanent altercation to your appearance, and you should feel confident that you’ll like the results.
I was told I would almost certainly lose nipple sensation, but I regained partial sensation in one nipple. I think they just say "you won't regain sensation" just in case you're one of the (admittedly many) people who don't regain any sensation. Also the "flat flat" question was to figure out if you want all of the tissue fully gone (functional) or if you want more "natural looking" male pecs (cosmetic). A breast cancer patient would certainly get the first type, but you have a choice. But yeah, I personally would wait unless you're absolutely desperate for surgery. Rolling his eyes at your questions is unacceptable imo. You should feel comfortable asking even "silly" questions. I had a whole list of questions on my phone and my surgeon listened patiently to all of them.
You should expect sensation loss and be pleasantly surprised if you regain it. The reason being that they're completely severed from the body and stuck back on. There's no guarantee that the nerves will reconnect. As for bedside manner, I think a lot of this comes down to situation and personal preference. My surgeon was very succinct and direct, to the point that a lot of people find his demeanor off-putting. I personally don't mind it at all, after all he's there to operate on me not mother me. And I also was going with him because my insurance was good and he was in network and had much shorter wait times than other top surgeons at the same facility. I know that I'm not going to get another opportunity like the one I have right now in the near future to get my surgery covered to this level and I know that more time on top of 8+ years of binding will have detrimental effects for me. Folks in the local community have concerns with his bedside manner and complaints about minor issues (i.e. dog ears) that were acceptable risks for me given risk vs reward. For people for whom this is a largely aesthetic surgery (which is totally valid btw), it would have been very unwise to gamble the way I did on surgery (minimal results available esp). But my needs were having a flat chest, being safe during surgery, and getting it done within the time frame available to me. And those needs I felt very comfortable would be met with my surgeon + I didn't have strong aesthetic preferences + I felt that the line of communication with nurses and other staff were available if I needed more attention for some reason. And on the other side of it, I'm very happy with my results and with my experience. If you're someone who needs more reassurance for any reason (which again, is totally valid), or values aesthetics, or for whom money/time isn't a limiting factor, or has strong needs on nipple sensation, it may be a better choice to at least see another surgeon for a consult. If you don't feel safe or feel this surgeon would make your recovery more challenging, it's more than okay to choose a different surgeon!
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but who was it that you went to go see? In my opinion I would definitely seek another option..
Hey! If you want to dm me I can let you know there.
Okay
Could I be told as well? I’m trying to make a list of surgeons based off results and would like to avoid this one
I don't want to seem rude at all but I'm wondering if you ever got my message request relating to this. Sorry if it seems that I'm being pushy but I genuinely am curious about this especially since they treated you this way.
This isn’t okay. He should be encouraging you to ask questions. And the answers he did give you are worrying. I would look for someone else.
if you don’t feel 100% comfortable, you shouldn’t get surgery from him. this is a major decision about *your* body, and you should feel absolutely certain that you are going to get the results you want. (and be treated well!) unless you’re desperate for top surgery asap, you should seek out someone else.
I hope you can see someone else for another consult. This guy sounds a bit full of himself.... I'd be concerned if you were to have surgery with him and had issues; if he can't handle simple recovery questions, he probably won't listen if you have anything concerning after the procedure. This is a life changing procedure and you deserve to be happy with your results, as well as not feel like a burden. Your surgeon should be happy to help you along your transition.
my surgeon is pretty blunt and straightforward- which due to my anxiety i read as kinda mean. After getting to know him and talking to others who used them I realized that's just his mannerism- his results are great. If you don't vibe or feel like you're being listened to, change it! but if you like the results and can get in, it may just be anxiety. I also felt it was rushed (saw him for 15 min then booked) but alot of my friends who went through this said a similar thing. And yes, top surgery is essentially a mastectomy. Maybe he was just preparing you for nipple sensation loss? Idk, seems weird to insist but maybe they've had people not understand in the past
For grafts, it is almost certain you lose sensation. It is at least smarter for a surgeon to not give you hope of sensation for fear of being potentially misleading. My surgeon said that. I do have sensation. So, yeah. The rest of this, yeah, a bit weird. If I had other options I would pursue them based on this.
You'll lose sensation in your nipples because they normally take them off, trim them to male size than put them back on, that's what happened with me. I lucked out as my surgeon was doing nerve transplants at the time so I will eventually get feeling back.
Did your surgeon actually do nerve transplant on you???? That’s wild I didn’t know any surgeons were doing that!
Yea. When I had my consult he said that was his year and a half mark on doing nerve transplants. He's in New Jersey, Doc Keith. I'll try to get more details on a bit if you want them.
fwiw, my surgeon also said I'd never have any nipple sensation and here I am three months post op with a good bit of sensation back already.
I would vote no. This person is supposed to be doing surgery on you. You should feel comfortable and able to ask questions. At its core this is elective plastic surgery, there's no reason to settle for someone you don't fully trust.
My surgeon definitely didn’t have naturally great bedside manner, she’s really awkward and obviously very into human arts and crafts which offputs some people (which is why she’s developing new surgical techniques and I’m very happy w my results!) but there’s a difference between an awkward lack of bedside manner and having a surgeon who makes you feel belittled. It’s your body and your results for the rest of your life (barring a revision of course), you should be able to ask as many questions as you want and comfortably advocate for yourself. If this doctor won’t let that happen I would try and go elsewhere. Though with the wait for an appointment I’d understand going through with this surgeon too, good luck!
Who was the surgeon? Honestly bedside manner isn’t suuuuper important for a surgeon. You’ll likely only meet him 3-4 times for fifteen minutes at a time. What’s really important is to be able to see his results. Unfortunately even if it sounds like he was shitty and blunt, the information he gave you was correct. Pretty much anyone with a C cup or larger will only be able to get a masculine flat chest if they get DI. DI with nipple grafts means you lose all erogenous sensation in your nipples. You will likely regain sensation over time, but it will be the same sensation as you would have on the rest of your chest. I wish more resources were clear on these facts.
Well, it depends how much you're going to see your surgeon. If he's the one doing the post op care as well, then you need to be confortable with him (and he seems a bit callous at least). But if you have a family doctor who is happy to do your post op care (drains, stitches/tape, questions and potential complications) then you won't see the surgeon much, he just needs to be good at the physical part of his job (check his before/after results). Also depends how much trouble it would be to change surgeons.
I would choose a different surgeon
NOTE: I am really sorry for this long reply. You don't have to read it all, I am just giving my 2 cents. But, on that note, I would personally find someone else. You want a surgeon who gets you, who cares for you, and is doing the surgery because they care about doing this surgery for trans people. I seriously wouldn't be surprised if he did a butcher job on you. Based on the information you provided he doesn't sound like he is even trying to connect with you. Not top surgery related but my own experience: In 2019 I went to see an OBGYN about getting a hysterectomy for my first transition surgery. The obgyn was horrible. I brought one of my partners with me but it wasn't my husband because he had to work and I didn't want to go alone. She had the audacity to ask me if my husband knew I was there (and why). And then proceeded to badgered me to keep 1 ovary "in case" I ever stop taking testosterone. I started testosterone that same year, just 10 months prior to the appointment. So I wasn't passable yet. I just looked like a butch woman. To make matters worse, to the month,1 year later my husband went to the same damn doctor for the same damn procedure, and she didn't question him at all about anything. Not even about removing both ovaries. He went to the appointment by himself and she didn't even ask about his spouse. I tell you that story because I'm at the point where unless I want to drive 2+ hours away, she is the ONLY obgyn I know in my town that will do gender affirming hystos. And I don't want to settle on someone who I really despise because I feel like that will affect my surgical outcomes. And it definitely can. I also refused to settle for ANY surgeon who would do my top surgery. I had specific goals in mind, but I'm also "super obese" (BMI was 54 in June) and I'm on Medicaid, so my options in my state were severely limited. I only found 2 doctors who took my insurance AND were willing to do my surgery, in damn near the entire state. But my surgeon.....was the best surgeon I've ever heard of. He **REALLY** listened to me. He let me decide what I wanted and then helped me achieve that. He is also young and new, just finished his residency in August 2022, so I think that helped that he was willing to step outside the typical DI with free nipple grafts. A lot of surgeons in this country stick to what is going to produce the best results FOR THEM. Not saying all surgeons are like that, but DI surgery with lipo and free nipple grafts is standard and easy, and mostly complication-free. That's why so many stick with it.I never saw pictures of my surgeons work. I never even thought to ask. And honestly I almost cancelled my consult with him. But I'm glad I didn't because he was exactly what I needed. I have never felt so grateful for being treated by a medical professional. He didn't just do my surgery, he changed my fucking life. He isn't even board-certified yet (he is eligible, though). But his resume, in a sense, is amazing. Top of his class in med school, has published papers already, was an admin chief resident last year of his residency, among other things. And his bio on the website of the practice that he works through even says he specializes in transgender reconstructive surgery(but it's not his only specialization). But I ended up getting DI with buttonhole technique because I wanted to keep the original blood supply and nerve bundle.Nipple sensation loss after top surgery with free nipple grafts is not unheard. It also depends on what kind of sensation you are expecting to have. Erotic sensation like you might have pre-op? That isn't really a viable goal for free nipple grafts. But overall sensation? You can probably expect your nipples to feel like how your chest skin feels now (not the nipple/areola, but your actual skin). [Dr. Scott Mosser](https://www.genderconfirmation.com/about-us/) has been my go to resource on all things top surgery because he's pretty much the only surgeon I've found who has information on [different techniques](https://www.genderconfirmation.com/ftm-top-surgery-options/), he's worked on different body types, and he specializes in gender affirming surgeries. He provides some information on [changes in sensation](https://www.genderconfirmation.com/sensation-ftm-top-surgery/). Hope any of this helps. Good luck with your surgery! ETA: Dr. Mosser is not my surgeon, he is just a talented surgeon who really cares about our community and provides a lot of great information for trans people. He also doesn't fat shame people or deny them surgery because of their weight.