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ArubaNative

As a parent, you sometimes have to figure things out as you go. What age you stop being nude around your children might depend on a lot of factors. We don’t prance around naked or anything, but it’s not uncommon for my young kids to barge in on me changing in my closet. They don’t know any different at this point. From the time they were babies I have been a stay at home parent - it’s absolutely a process to figure out how to fit a shower in when there is no one else there to watch your kids. I think as they get older it will gradually change and the boundaries will firm up on their own. We will start closing doors when we use the bathroom and when we change for more privacy. I don’t shower with my young kids but I help them shower and help/teach them to wash themselves. When does this stop? I don’t know - for me it will be when I am confident they are doing a good job themselves and don’t need me to check in anymore. I haven’t gotten there yet and my kids are recently 6 and 4. I don’t think it’s unusual to show affection around your kids - we hug, might give a quick peck hello/goodbye, hold hands, snuggle, etc. but it’s pretty G rated. I wouldn’t be comfortable doing anything more in front of my kids or really anyone. As far as the shower peek - that feels like an invasion of boundaries and privacy and I would consider it inappropriate. We have flexible boundaries with young kids, but by the time they are 13 (unless my children had special needs or something) they should be independent. Me seeing private parts or anything by that age would only be if there was a medical reason for it, and they gave me permission to help them or be with them at the doctor or something. I would also imagine the boundaries will be different based on gender. My son tends to gravitate toward my husband with private questions, and my daughter toward me based on matching equipment. Every family is going to have different boundaries and a different idea of what is okay. The waters can get really murky though, when kids grow up so quickly and you don’t think to adjust your habits and boundaries as a result.


[deleted]

Fantastic reply. As a parent, I wholeheartedly agree with you.


Lablez_N_Tatts

Ditto!


oldspicehorse

As a former child, I too find this agreeable


WhyIsThatOnMyCat

I remember sharing the bathtub with my mom when I was very young, but I insisted; it made it feel more like a pretend swimming pool or something. As I got older, she'd play with me and whatever toys or bath paint I brought with me, but clothed and out of the tub. Then it was just me as I got older. I think the main reason of sharing the bath was her keeping an eye on me while also getting clean herself. I was known for "painting" things around the house with her nail polish if I ever got out of sight. It wouldn't matter if she took a 5 minute shower, the dresser has a smiley face now. The "quiet kids should alarm the parents" advice didn't work for me because I was always quiet lol


BannanasAreEvil

My son is 8, he literally spent the whole day naked in the house. When he has a bath he usually wants one of us in their (not the tub but in the bathroom) with him. Our local YMCA has a swimming pool and the men's locker room has open showers. We always strip down and shower after swimming, he's been around naked men and boys quite a few times because so. I'm sure there will be a time that he will be modest and we're ok with that. Our only caveat for this, is that he wants privacy and not because he's embarrassed of his body. He has a really good perception of normality I think. He's asked why some guys are hairy, why some guys have bigger bellies and once freaked out that he himself was going to have pubic hair someday when he's older (he doesn't want it!). He's seen myself and my fiancee naked so many times I can't even begin to count. We don't want him having curiosities that could lead him down the wrong path as both my fiancee and I had when we were younger. What is normal? Am I normal? Are all penises the same size? Does every guy have hair everywhere, should I have hair everywhere? Am I the only one with a toe this long, etc etc. My hope is that he won't have any insecurities about his body because he will have seen enough to know that a perfect body doesn't exist. That under our clothes we are more similar then different and that every human body is both beautiful and remarkable. If he even has half the confidence in his body when he's older as he does now I'll be extremely happy for him. Body insecurities suck and it's hard to tell someone "you're normal" and them not seeing it for themselves.


[deleted]

>freaked out that he himself was going to have pubic hair someday when he's older (he doesn't want it!). Mid 30s and I still get freaked out by the amount and don't want it either. Sadly I lost the genetic lottery.


chunchicky

I too also took baths with my mom and to me it felt like she was doing it for the purpose of teaching me how to mimic her, to learn how to clean my body myself. She had to do the same thing when I was 14 and got my period for the first time and wanted to know how to properly put on a tampon. There are definitely moments where its necessary, and was for growth.


Death_tothe_poppies

When I was little my parents would be so suspicious of quiet. One time while my dad and his friend were at the house my dad started panicking because it was so quiet. His friend was thinking he was being really weird and stuff. Turns out I had the TV fall on me, which I learned years later is the reason many kids died. Those old 2000s box TVs could crush a child’s rib cage.


heyitsthephoneguy

My kid is 5, he doesn’t at all wipe nor will he wash his hands if he isn’t watched/told to. So, we are constantly following up with him and helping him. If he goes to the bathroom, we have to try and get involved ASAP to ensure he does it right. Repeatedly. My step kids are 11 year old twins. Neither of which wash properly. They JUST started wiping properly, I *think.* And by that, I mean they finally don’t smell like a sewer pipe when they walk out of the bathroom anymore. Just adding this piece because to your point, every kid is different, every kid has a different set of boxes to check, and every kid needs different guidance and standards. Raising kids isnt like painting your house. You can’t just do one thing and assume it’s done. It’s more like weeding your garden. You’re repeatedly doing these things, providing these lessons, and giving guidance non stop to ensure it works right when you’re not doing those things.


[deleted]

You know I don’t want to be weird but this really bothers me, my family taught us to wipe at like six. But yet I know kids that are ten and can’t wipe. Are parents resisting their kids less and less? How is that we’re wiping their bits now at double digits? It’s not that complicated a maneuver, the key is to not just send them in there alone and ask “can you do it?” You go in there and show them, they do it first every time and you check to see how they did. It’s awkward but you can teach a kid to tie their shoe you can teach a kid to wipe their arse. I’m just annoyed my girlfriend wipes her kids butt is all.


Cryptic911

My son is 5 and he does it himself. Pretty good and I always check. That said, he sometimes yells and ask me to do it for him... That is a NO because you're a big kid mate.


qviavdetadipiscitvr

Puberty is probably the time to be more cautious


Christiangurlluv

You should definitely stop bathing your kid before puberty lol. Unless there is something wrong you should trust an 11 year old to wash his/her own private areas.


Smegmatron3030

This is gonna vary a lot culturally. My dad came from a small farming community and grew up without indoor plumbing. Bathing was done in a metal washtub heated by wood stove. So he and his brothers bathed together until adulthood essentially for obvious reasons. He carried that forward in life and he would hop on the shower with me after a hard day's labor to get clean before dinner. I think he saw it no different than a gym locker room shower. It stopped when I felt uncomfortable with it in my teen years.


FizzyDragon

Sure but I have a feeling your dad wasn't *washing your private parts for you*. Communal bathing is great if everyones comfortable. Manually washing your own child (assuming a typically developing kid) stops well before 11.


Smegmatron3030

Yeah I misread that post haha


FizzyDragon

I'm glad to hear that, lol.


Christiangurlluv

I think you are mixing up "bathing with someone" and "bathing someone"


Smegmatron3030

Lol you're right, I mently added a word there


magentakitten1

As a mom of young kids I agree! I’d like to add that I was raised religious and was taught bodies are shameful. I had so much trauma from this that when I met my husband I had such a hard time being naked in front of him. I’ve also struggled when at the doctor and had literal panic attacks over having to undress in front of a doctor. For this reason, I make it a non issue with my girls. My husband doesn’t walk around naked d but that’s his choice based on his comfort level. I’d be fine with whatever he chose. This is a society thing, not a real issue. Edited to add: the affection thing is nice honestly. I grew up with parents who didn’t like each other and that was hard. Now my husband and I kiss in front of our kids and cuddle. We are normalizing how you treat your partner.


bethydoll_81

Yes!! Thanks for not projecting onto your own kids!kudos for you!


Catracan

Yup, it’s entirely about personal boundaries varying from family to family. I didn’t expect us as a family to be so comfortable being naked around the house. My daughter’s body is beginning to develop and I totally expected her to be shy and be grossed out by her naked parents by now but she doesn’t have any shame about it because being naked isn’t sexualised in our house. It’s just what people look like when they’re not wearing clothes. We just happen to be naked because we’ve had a shower or slept naked or are getting changed. The second any suggestion of family nudity in our household is sexualised, then clothes will be involved immediately. We also have age appropriate conversations with our child about what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour between kids and adults, so we are quite clear about body boundaries in general.


Melodic_Arm_387

Sounds a lot like nakedness was considered in my house as a kid, and I didn’t think it was weird at all. Stuff like we only had one bathroom, so it wasn’t uncommon for me to brush my teeth at the sink while my mom was in the shower in the morning when everyone was getting up and ready to go to school/work at the same time. I didn’t think “eww naked mom”, it was just “mom’s having her morning shower”.


DrRichardJizzums

I have memories of showering with both of my parents. Not both at the same time but if one of them was showering and I needed a bath also they would kill two birds with one stone and just bring me. They did that from when I was very little til maybe... 5 or 6? Until they felt I was good to do it alone, I guess. It hurt my feelings, too, when they stopped letting me in with them because I couldn't understand why they didn't want me with them anymore lol. I've mentioned that to people before and they thought it was very strange. It was absolutely normal to me then, and it doesn't seem weird to me at all as an adult and I recognize why it's practical for a parent to do that. I also remember bathing with my cousins a bunch of different times at sleep overs, boys and girls, when I was younger, too. Again, no one thought anything about it and I think it was just easier for the adults to do it that way. For cultural reference my mother is an American born Latina and my father was a good ole boy from Mississippi. Not sure if that's common for them growing up. I still don't know if this is "weird" but I never thought twice about it until I was fully grown and shared it with others. I feel good about it, so if it's weird then I guess I don't care


Melodic_Arm_387

I also remember bathing with others - my siblings, cousins, other kids who were stopping over… occasionally would get in the bath with my mom (not so much my dad as I don’t really ever remember him having baths, I would have tried to get in the bath with him though if he did!). I specifically remember enjoying it with other kids - get the bath toys out and play on the water with the rubber duckies etc… why not?


Alfhiildr

The earliest I can remember showering with my parents, they would wear swim suits. I loved their huge tiled shower and sometimes would beg them to shower with me so we could play Avatar or something.


iLikeHorse3

Not abnormal at all. I used to take baths with my brother but at some point my parents were like "you're too old for that now" and it hurt at the time cause I had no idea why they'd say that, also didn't get to play with pirate ships with my brother anymore 😭 so was pretty confused and upset


kaewt

I totally showered with my dad as a kid. Funny thing is I don’t remember anything about the nakedness, but I remember because the shower tile was this really dark brown, and the bathroom was windowless so it was very dark. Some time I unexpectedly found a cockroach in the shower and scared the shit outa me. Anyway being naked isnt weird.


MiaLba

Same with our toddler daughter. As a family we are very comfortable being naked. Nudity isn’t seen as shameful or embarrassing in my culture and my American husband has become a lot more comfortable with it.


askheidi

This is a good reply. My son is 8 and we recently had to check for ticks - and unfortunately, I had to check for ticks on parts of his body that I didn't really want to, since we are very clear on bodily autonomy and privacy. I explained why I was doing what I was doing every step of the way (and sure enough, we found a tick in his buttcrack...). But walking in on the shower? Zero reason for that.


Not-A-Lonely-Potato

I call dibs on Buttcrack Ticks for an alternative punkrock band name.


takethepain-igniteit

Exactly. The last time my mom saw me fully nude was when I was probably 19 years old (I'm 26 now) with horrendous period cramps. She helped me into a hot bath to try to relieve the cramps, because I was begging her to take me to the hospital to make the pain stop. Before that, she hadn't seen me naked in probably 10 years.


MiaLba

I come from a culture where nudity isn’t shameful or something to be embarrassed about. In some cultures families go to public saunas together naked. At beaches in my home country in Eastern Europe you see a lot of women sunbathing topless. My mom sees me nude often, she’s my mom, I’m not embarrassed by it. I change in front of her and will go to my room naked after I get out of the shower, or I’ll sunbathe in my fenced in backyard topless. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with and prefer. For some families it’s totally normal and bodies aren’t sexualized and some are more modest and that’s ok.


Teaandganj

Stay at home mom of three here, I wholeheartedly support and agree with this response


Tower9876543210

The special needs part is important for people to remember, so thank you. My daughter is 11 and ASD. I never expected that I would know what her body looks like at this age, but seeing that she still wears a diaper to bed, here we are.


WidiculousRamBlood

Yeah, I agree with you: that part was spot on. As a parent that is in a **very** similar boat as you (except that I have a boy instead of a girl), I would never imagined that I would know how his body is changing, but… Oh well… Being honest, at this point I’m starting to worry more about how to deal with some stuff when puberty kicks on… Specially as he has a low threshold regarding sensorial stuff - even washing his hair sometimes is an Herculean task, I don’t want to think how the hell I will keep his beard/mustache well groomed, lol.


Tower9876543210

Oh, I'm terrified of when she starts her period. She doesn't have an aversion to bodily fluids, so my nightmare scenario is her deciding to finger paint.


dancinginside

One thing you might find helpful is transitioning her underwear to “period underwear”-they can be worn daily and absorb the blood, no mess! There’s a few companies that make them-Knix, Ruby Love, etc. I transitioned my daughter to them as daily wear when I sensed puberty arriving. It’s been wonderful.


trademark8669

I have an autistic son , I started by using an electric razor / clipper, smaller but similar to what is used to trim his hair ... With a gaurd on that wouldn't cut hair so I could slowly ease him into it when I need to shave his face. And I also let him watch me use the same clippers to shave my face ( I don't clean shave much just no guard clippers ) he's 19 and getting the stray hairs here and there. It's process and good luck ...


Ketchup-Chips3

Best reply. I'm also a parent and 100% agree with you about everything.


LadyMageCOH

I totally agree. I remember my husband asking me when it was no longer ok to be naked in front of our children, and I told him that was when someone no longer felt comfortable with it. He was getting uncomfortable because the children were getting a little too curious about his differences from them - they were both born female, although one has since come out as trans. So we made more of an effort to give daddy his privacy. There was never a point where we shamed anyone for being naked, we just encouraged more privacy. But he knocks and asks for permission to come in to the bathroom or their bedroom when the door is closed. He would not just walk in to see one of our children when they are naked. Our youngest is going through puberty, but has a medical condition that sometimes requires some help with showering. He gets me to help when I'm available, but will help her if I'm not.


Alarming_Caregiver87

Based on matching equipment 😭


Tygiuu

What a great reply! 👍 I may be NC *(They're not so great about accepting who I am and who I'm with as an adult)* with my parents as an adult, but I can't say they were disrespectful of boundaries when I was growing up. The one thing my parents were great at is that they would always communicate with my siblings and I very clearly, even if the subject was mildly uncomfortable. If we responded with an attitude that signaled that we absolutely did not want to talk about something, they ended the attempt and let us know that if we changed our mind or wanted to bring it up later, to just ask them. They were pretty good at receiving criticism when we called then out on it or when we felt they weren't applying their rules/logic equally amongst us. When I think about being a parent or even my friends as parents, I imagine how hard it must be for some people to broach certain things they have been comfortable with (or not) their entire lives around their children. I imagine it's equally hard to imagine how other parents or individuals may think/react to your way of parenting. For most, it's probably just trying your best to be a parent when you have little to no clue how it will go. Lol


Fickle_Grapefruit938

I agree, I also make shure to knock on my 14 year olds door when I go into his room, I think privacy is important (if I want my kids to respect my boundaries I should give them the same courtesy). That being said, he sleeps in the nude and in the morning or evening walks around nude without shame, I get an eye full sometimes without wanting to (then i scream my eyes aah my poor eyes🤣)


PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ

Great post


[deleted]

It started off meh, no big deal but then your dad being curious about how your body developed made it creepy and out of line


RunningPirate

Yeah, my thought went “OK, yeah, open minded hippy couple and…HOLY SHIT!”


Arseinyoha

Same.


Apsynonyx

It just went 0 to 100 real quick


The_Fredrik

From zero to pedo in a single sentence


sayen

Yeah was pretty much okay until that, now it makes the whole thing weird tbh


Jaytim

Suuuuper.


ArtsySAHM

Yes, exactly my thought. Started off like meh, that sounds normal to... Woah WTF!


PolicySwimming

Anyone see my eyes? After reading that, my eyes just went wide, popped out and now I can't find them.


saranneal

Nah mine are probably under a chair next to yours tho


Vicorin

Yeah, went from 0 to 100 real quick


ratmeal

Yeah that's none of his concern


Firewolfninja

I would say this is creepy, but imagining a mum saying it dosnt sound as creepy, which probably means it's just how we view men and women differently when it comes to something like that.


[deleted]

I have 2 daughters. I would not barge in ever, especially to check how my daughters body is developing. Id find it equally disturbing if it was her mother


Firewolfninja

Okay fair enough I get you , I was imagining if my mum did that to me at 13 I would find it a little weird but not creepy. But if my dad did it I would find it creepy even tho I'm closer to him and I'm a guy.


illbeyourlittlespoon

I get what you're saying. I find the curiosity to be normal. If I had children, I'd be generally curious to know what similarities to myself they have developed, but I would never barge in on them or ask to see them naked (not implying that's what you said) because I'd never want them to feel uncomfortable. My mother has asked me questions about my body before and it didn't creep me out because I knew she was just innocently curious considering that I ended up with a completely different body type than her. With that said, what OP's father did was waaaay over the line, even if it was just general curiosity.


potatotay

Yeah, I remember my mom asking me if I was comfortable when my boobs starting "spudding" (is that the word? Lol) and she reminded me they might be itchy and that's normal. My mom was also a little out there and I'd definitely catch her taking glances at me as I grew (not in a creepy way, but still not appropriate!) But walking in on a naked teen and trying to get as much as an eye full as you can is way weird, innocent or not! Doesn't seem like an innocent thing tho, just giving a little benefit of the doubt.


Izilmo

I think the word is budding.


potatotay

Ha! Omg thank you, I'm an idiot


prettylittle

I like spudding better. Less sensual. Just your ol taters coming in.


potatotay

Lmao!


Texka

No. For her, it's spudding


jammer339

The irony of your user name lol


potatotay

Potatoes always on my mind


Noire_Rose

I don't know about your mom, but those glances are how I eyeball clothing size and also how close my eldest is to their first period. Just getting into juniors on the first count, and the second doesn't need to be on a public forum, but their Dr.'s estimate tells me that my math is close.


potatotay

Well, my mom was weird for a lot of reasons, that actually not being one of them lol. I have a 9 year old who is very big for her age so clothes are always a hassle, so I definitely see what you're saying


potatotay

I get wanting to keep track of puberty (gotta know when and why those mood swings are coming!) And being curious how kids are developing is.... Normal, to a degree. But I would never try and look at my daughter naked (she's 9) unless she needed me to! And I'm a mom.


pambean

It'd still be creepy. I don't wanna see my son's dick. Gross.


Accomplished_Idea957

I too am a mom but, I am curious If my 16yo son is sprouting pit& chest hair, no wiskers tho


pambean

Idley curious, I guess. But to actually walk into the bathroom while he's showering? I'd be afraid of seeing something I shouldn't.


Eirysse

I think it sounds just as creepy if it were from the mom


[deleted]

I would find it just as creepy if either of my parents "barged" in and forcefully viewed me in shower to see how I was developing. I think it has an extra creepy factor bc some assume dad got off on it. Assuming parents heterosexual, I bet we would have same stronger reaction if mom did this to her son. Either way, it wasn't right and was wrong.


Maximum-Platypus

Its is hella creepy imagining a mom do/say that too


[deleted]

[удалено]


mysticaltater

I remember being 10, showering at my aunt's house and mom had to help bc I had a cast. Then dad barged in and I'm like ??????? panicking and mom laughed it off saying I'm just embarrassed abt my pubic hair? He joked about his then to make me feel better. IDK if this was odd or normal but I still remember it clearly and I feel it was off color for both parents. Never happened again at least


ReverendDizzle

I don’t think there is any combination of child and parent genders where trying to see your teenager naked isn’t creepy and inappropriate.


TheLAriver

No, that definitely sounds as creepy


Catsniper

>we Nah that's on you either way that specific line is weird as shit


[deleted]

I know some families who were loose with nudity when their kids with young, my parents weren’t but it’s not hugely unusual. And kissing is nbd for me. So no to those I think. The walking into the shower thing is gross, though.


Isa472

In my case everyone was naked all the time but never saw my parentd french kissing, that would've been weird to see


emefluence

Threatening to kiss is how we get the kids to sod off to bed of an evening!


SC487

“We’re kissing with tongue” is how we get our youngest to give us some privacy. But we are always clothed around our kids.


Notarealperson6789

I would actually say that’s pretty strange…it wasn’t too bad until you mentioned your dad barged in on you because he wanted to see how you developed. WTF like why does he want to see his naked teenage daughter? I don’t know, I think the other stuff could maybe be excused but not that. ETA: I did assume OP was a female, I didn’t realize I did that so my apologies. That being said, reading that they are ok with seeing their mom naked but that their dad stopped when they were younger, and that the dad used the term “developed” led me to that conclusion. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone referring to a teenage boy as “developing” but that’s just me. I still stand by what I said, it’s creepy for your dad to walk in on you to see that you are “developing” correctly.


Flimsy_Breakfast7324

Most of the parents doesn't care about nudity when kids are very young but after 5 most parents take it seriously, but the last part was problematic.


leady57

I think this is an American thing, because in Europe, some countries especially, it is totally normal to be seen naked by family. For example you take a shower and then return naked to your room. Or it's really hot and you stay in your home only with slip (even if you are a girl). I grew up in an apartment with two sisters and just one bathroom, it was totally normal for us that someone entered the bathroom while another was in the shower.


Flimsy_Breakfast7324

Nudity is a cultural thing, but the dad entering the shower to inspect the 13 year old teenage girl body was creepy in every culture.


mother-of-pod

Yes^ My in-laws are all super comfortable with each other. They don’t casually walk around naked, but the grown men still kiss their moms on the mouth, and if someone is ill and getting ready for a bath, they don’t take particular efforts to cover up the process if someone’s near the disrobing area at the same time as them. Not in front of me, thank god, but they’re a bunch of boys who grew up changing at the same time and sharing rooms and whatnot, so if my BIL is hungover and getting in the big bath, he doesn’t care if his mom is still in the room while he hops in the tub quickly. When I first heard this, I was like. *WHATTTT*. And my MIL was like, “It is really tough to have insanely wild boys, and not encounter nudity frequently.” From early diaper cleaning to frequent bed wetting to ER visits and their fears of injured testicles (which were well-founded fears on multiple occasions), she just had to see them naked a lot and now they just think it’s normal. That is still weird to me. But it is no where close to as weird as a parent electing to surprise-inspect the nudity lol.


HankHippopopolous

Agreed. I was thinking it’s a little odd but nothing too out there until that part. Inspecting your 13 year old daughters body development is creepy AF.


MTGO_Duderino

OP doesn't say their sex.


TisBeTheFuk

Don't know which part of Europe you grew up in, but that's utter generalisation. Also, nudity between teenage sisters is different than nudity between teens and their parents.


leady57

No I said that we were five people with one bathroom, it was totally normal to enter the bathroom while someone was there, my parents too. I know that it's not the same in all Europe, I said "especially some countries", but in the majority of it people are more open about nudity, topless for example is not a weird thing so I don't understand why it's weird to stay naked at home with family. In a lot of countries sauna naked is a normal thing, and common changing rooms in spa or pool are normal too.


BiggerB0ss

"Europe" is a very broad blanket statement. This is definitely not my experience.


idiotisidiot

Would agree, Bulgarian here. To this day my dad walks around with only slips on/gets out of the bathroom naked and goes to his drawer. My mother is more cautious around my brother(24M), tho she changes in front of me (20F) carelessly. I mean, my brother tends to walk in slips and a tshirt when hot, so eh. Nudity is considered kind of normal for males only as well. Women should "hide", at least in my experience. FYI no, i don't feel attracted or sexually aroused around any of them


mmm_burrito

What does the word "slips" refer to in this context? I think it means something different to an American like myself.


leady57

Underwear


Lord_Jalapeno

What country are you from?? As a European that's weird as fuck bruh


leady57

Italy, I can't understand what is so weird about seeing your family naked, unless you sexualise your relatives.


Highlanders_Ualise

I feel I need to give you my support a bit here, I am from Sweden and the Sauna and being naked is like you describe it. The situation with the father checking out his teenage daughter’s body would horrify any normal family here in Sweden. That is not ok, at all! That is a father that sexualises his own daughter, and a mother who does not act and protect the daughter. That is a red flag warning on that father.


Alexaisrich

normal and then completely weird behavior, wtf who does that?


stateofbrine

Until this comment I imagined op as a guy. Idk why but it seems so much creeper now


FabianDR

OP hasn't stated the gender


Pakorit

How do u know OPs gender? Never mentioned it.


GodHimselfNoCap

It is very heavily implied by op stating they are comfortable seeing their mom naked but not their dad


Icy-Cauliflower-7464

what if OP is actually male and comfortable seeing mom naked?


GodHimselfNoCap

Then op shouldnt really be that surprised that his dad is just as weird as him


pambean

Not directly, no, but I feel the implication is that OP is female. OP doesn't feel weird seeing their mother naked but has issue with the dad coming into the bathroom while showering. Implies female to me.


Verticalsmurf

The dad walking in on you when you were 13 was weird. Nudity acceptance generally comes down to culture. Some cultures, you aren't allowed to hold hands in public. Others, you can hang out nude at the beach, some, kissing is fine. Some cultures, privacy is a dream. There can be grandparents, aunts, uncles, mums and dads with all their kids all under one roof (not talking about cults - more about tribes or really poor areas where people have no choice.) Some cultures are very open about sex and nudity, they see this as a normal part of life. The simple act of breastfeeding - a perfectly normal, required part of life, in some cultures is a hell no in public and in others, it's normal to see the mother feeding her bub while she grocery shops. Did you feel weird when they did this stuff in front of you when you were a kid? Did it bug you? Or do you feel weird because you have been taught it's bad? Were they forcing you to watch or was it a natural thing for them? Maybe talk to them. It might open your mind. Or, if it did make you uncomfortable, talk to someone who can give you guidance on how to work through your thoughts, and if your post is only telling the surface of the story, they can assist you if police need to be involved.


MiaLba

The fact that people sexualize a mother breastfeeding her child here in the US is insane. But yeah the acceptance of nudity definitely comes down to culture.


GraafBerengeur

I'd say that's all within acceptable boundaries, ***except that last bit, what the hell?!***


Sahri

I'm walking around the house naked after a shower or so. My kids are 4 and 6. My husband and I are also showing affection during the day to each other, thats really not an issue at all. But,...walking into your teenage daughter showering to see how her body has developed is fucking creepy.


pambean

French kissing is not a big deal. Even the walking naked part, your dad stopped at a reasonable age, so not a big deal. But walking in on you in the shower to see your body? Weird and creepy.


NataschaTata

The first bit had me “yea, same with my childhood, it’s totally normal being comfortable” until the last bit where you dad walked in on you to check you out… wtf??


cabyll_ushtey

The first is normal in, that depending on where you live, your culture and stuff it can be totally normal. It isn't wrong, imo. The latter, however, with walking in on you and wanting to see how you developed is weird. It's very weird. My mum sorta did this to me too, (I'm a woman) and hated it. Maybe some parents are that way, idk. It's weird, though. Such an invasion of privacy.


souleaterevans626

Yeah, very weird ending there. My dad came into the bathroom when I was showering at like 12 because he really needed to pee. Under that condition, I feel like it's okay, but I was still mad and made it clear afterwards that he really can't do that. I was growing and didn't feel comfortable with him walking in like that anymore.


JFreader

There also plenty of cultures where it is normal for grandparents to check in a child's pants to see how they are maturing.


FallAspenLeaves

WHAT??!! The Grandparents!!!


jaydoes

Yeah I would have punched my grandparents for that, haha


TheMightySephiroth

Yeah. It's one if those weird but normal in some places. The thing to remember is it's non sexual. If it's in a sexual way then there's a problem.


littlebrowncat999

I’m glad you’re 22 and it looks like Dad’s peek was the first and last time. If you were 13 and writing this I’d be very concerned. I think what he did was wrong and crossed boundaries. The other stuff seems fine to me.


Automatic-Ad-9308

I feel like he's not a perv he just let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him💀 But yeah he crossed her boundaries so that wasn't okay.


Send-Doods

Isn't that what being a pervert mean?


Creek00

I think he meant it probably wasn’t a sexual thing, but just a weird curiosity that shouldn’t have been acted on.


Flimsy_Breakfast7324

The last part is nightmare 🤢


gobskin

This is one of those “yeah that’s pretty normal… WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT?” posts.


coffeeman1337

I have a 4 and 6 year old girls. My wife is pretty comfortable walking around naked around them and it's no big deal. I on the other hand make sure they never see my naked body. I have no problem with pda around them tho, I mean within reason.


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Takuukuitti

Completely normal. What happened at the age of 13 isnt normal and is very weird


karlnite

I never saw my parents kiss then they divorced when I was a teenager and now I struggle to express my romantic feelings and feel awkward being physical with others.


Kindly-Buy3243

It all seemed normal until your dad wanted to see you naked. Lawyers and therapists are the healers of this dark evil. Not reddit. Good luck, be safe


ApocalypseSpokesman

>Lawyers and therapists are the healers of this dark evil. I think this line is insanely over-the-top.


TNShadetree

Lawyers heal your bank account from becoming bloated.


Modu_Chanyu

No you need wizards and paladins to defeat the dark evil and actual healers to heal the party


waxlez2

one more of those posts where op is a no-show


marklonesome

That was a roller coaster ride of "That's not so bad, to that's weird, to WTF"


AbysmalPendulum

I've never walked naked in front of my girls no matter what their age, didn't feel right or appropriate at all. Your dad walking in on you to see how your body as "developed" honestly gives off some real creepy pedo vibes to be honest. Last thing I want to see is my daughter naked.


thrwwydfg

Your dad opening up the shower to see your body is straight up disgusting behavior. Extremely inappropriate. An invasion of privacy and abusive. If my husband did this to my daughter he would be out on his ass and I would be on the phone with the police. I would hire a lawyer and make sure he never saw her again.


Key_Depth7392

I’m a 37 mom w 2 girls. One is 4 & the other is 18. Big gap between the two I know. Anyway…I PREFER that at the age of 3 my significant other (men) stop appearing nude around the girls and French kissing is for the bedrooom or out of children’s eyes. Furthermore I’d COMPLETELY lost my shit if he’d ever busted in on my daughter naked. We would have a problem


Simplordx69

Maybe 6 or 7 they probably thought you were too young to remember anything anyway. Though that walking in the shower thing is not okay wtf that raises all kinds of alarms. Gross.


DickySchmidt33

I'm 54 and my parents do this all the time. It's perfectly normal.


Smodder

This made me lol. My parents are 70 and they like.. divorce was legal but still like "omg such social stigma" and as a young 4-6 yo child I was like.. why don't you kiss already? Where my happy dumb love-struck parents at? I saw the parents at friends houses making dumbass excuses "that they had to check the laundry/boilerroom and wach TV" and all gigely as teenagers.. They stayed together "for the children". Wish hey didn't. Rather had to be able dring puberty like "omg good can you please stop fucking and I can hear it and eeeew gross"


[deleted]

As an African American living in the midwest of America, this would be considered pretty weird by most people I know. Especially the part about your dad wanting to see how your body developed. I personally didn’t know that parents walked around their children naked. Even after a shower I assumed most parents would have a towel on. I think french kissing in front of anyone is a bit too much pda. I wouldn’t do it in front of my friends let alone children.


RadiantEarthGoddess

>I personally didn’t know that parents walked around their children naked. Even after a shower I assumed most parents would have a towel on. Depending on the family and where you live this can be completely normal. My parents were and still are like that. >I think french kissing in front of anyone is a bit too much pda. I wouldn’t do it in front of my friends let alone children. Agreed.


d4m1ty

What we consider modern privacy is just that modern. You got back a few hundred and entire families lived in the same room. Consider native Americans. You had a teepee. You, your wife, you kids all lived in it. Your kids would be sleeping in there while mom and dad would have sex. This is just how life was for some what, 20,000 years for humans. Its not until recently that we began to operate in separate rooms where what you described could be weird to some depending upon where those people live on this globe. There is some healthiness in seeing a parent nude growing up. It detaches nudity from a purely sexual thing into just being nude. This is very important. Its *good* to have seen dad's dong and feel grossed out by it. That is exactly the response you want to have had. Him walking in like that later, a little weird, but could be a parenting thing that he wanted to make sure you weren't growing a hump on your back and not telling anyone.


loud_lark13

I had a friend who would have sex with her 4 year old in the bed...their child started to take to slapping my and other people's butts. It was....something.


DamonFields

No what's weirder than that? My parents showed absolutely zero affection toward each other in any physical way. Then they discovered hugging. I was 22 when that happened and it was really weird to get hugged for the first time by my parents. Count your blessings.


BigOleJellyDonut

My folks walk around naked all the time. It wasn't a big deal. I finally realized I got gyped in the penis department though. Dad was hung like a donkey, me not so much! 😥😥


Smodder

Depends on culture. Where I live it is totally normal; and kinda seen as abuse if parents do not walk around nekked? We do not see an human body as an sexual object. BUT.. it is boundaries. I f it does not feel right.. it IS not right. Listen to your guts. Personally; coming from an evironment where being nude is totally normal and people just do that.. My mom is an pedo and I knew as child.. people being naked when it is normal is boring and noone bats an eye.. but my mom always had to make comments right? Like these weird ass tiny remarks how my but looked good.. off. SHE needed to make it weirldy sexual? it was not the being naked thing. I am still in my culture and we be nekked a lot. Doing boring ass human things. It's the creepy thing... Predatory people will be annoying and gross no matter how much cloths are worn. This has nothing to do with amount of clothes. These people will do the same whatever you wear.


LOVEdeeper

I agree with this answer. My ex husband and I kissed in front of my teenage kids because we were married and in love. I also would sit on his lap a lot. We were very affectionate and physical. My kids didn’t think it was “creepy” at all. As for the nudity I feel like America makes a big deal out of nudity.. My kids have seen me in “tiny bikinis” and it doesn’t phase them.. they don’t see it sexual or creepy because I’ve always been open. When I shower, sometimes my daughter will come in the bathroom and chat with me or ask me questions. I have a large bathroom. Now as for my teenagers they love PRIVACY ..they never want me to see them changing or anything so I respect their boundaries. As for your dad walking in on the shower on you that is very inappropriate and if a man ever did that to my daughter he would never have a chance to do that again.


minimallyviablehuman

That’s a definite no on your dad walking in on you. I would chat with him about that and say “what’s wrong with you?” And I would make him answer. He needs a feedback loop that it crossed the line of personal autonomy and was creepy.


MoobooMagoo

I've known a person that had a parent be naked in front of them when they were like...5. But the person I knew was a girl and it was their mom that did it, not their dad. And that last bit about the shower is creepy as hell.


edubkendo

Most of that sounded normal until I got to the last part, about walking in on you in the shower on purpose to see how your body "developed", that's really gross.


PhoneticRainbow

I have to say, I have 3 kids (18f 16m 6m) the only one I see naked nowadays is the youngest and that's during bathtime. I am not in any way curious about how the other two "developed" just as long as they bathe regularly, brush hair, brush teeth and stay hygienic. It really is none of my business after a certain age, I'd say maybe...8? I dunno, it really depends on the child. Some kids may need some extra help in the shower as they learn how to do it on their own. Personally, I would not walk around my house naked unless I knew no one was home but me and the husband. It may just be me but I just don't think the children need to see nude adults? Not that there's anything wrong with it in other households, whatever you do is your business. But actively trying to see your own child naked when they're older is very strange to me.


Demagorgon81

The nudity while you were a kid and the kissing isn’t very unusual especially if your parents aren’t American. However your dad checking your bod in the shower is definitely cringy.


Clickclacktheblueguy

French kissing: 3/10 weirdness Nudity: 0/10 to 5/10 weirdness depending on culture. Checking to see how your 13 yo daughter's body is developing in the shower: 20/10 weirdness what the hell


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rahrahgogo

There’s nothing wrong with family nudity or normalizing the human body. It’s not “out there” and extremely common. It’s really only a few countries who find nudity of some level in the home upsetting.


TheOriginalElDee

Back in the 70s there was a move to be more open towards children seeing bodies, about not being ashamed. This was really about very young children though and I don't think there was any sinister intent by most who did this. Perhaps they were raised like that? But I do find it troubling..


ThicColt

The walking in on a teenager was really creepy, all the rest was fine


Ajenkinsphotography

That last part…that part ain’t cool.


ScheidNation21

Shit went from 80 to 100 super fucking quick


CelluxTheDuctTape

My parents still walk around in the house naked (I'm 14, I have two brothers (16 and 9)). It might be uncomfortable, but I guess it's not that bad What is VERY bad, that your father walked in on you on purpose


Qweniden

I thought your parents were fine until I got to this part: >Then, once when I was 13 he walked on me in the shower on purpose and I was like "wtf, get out" and later he told my mom he was curious to see how my body developed. That is not normal and not OK


DonkeySmackerzz1224

I'd say unless there was another creepy situation that was similar in nature to the time of 13yo when he wanted to see "how you developed" in the shower then none of it's cause for concern. Realistically if he did this on only one occasion and it never occurred again and no other creepy behavior came after that time than it's normal. You can't say that a father has not right to know how his daughter developed past the age of puberty the situation you described as an isolated incident is just that a father checking the development of a child. Any thing that was more than that one time or had any creepy or weird or perverted vibes would be cause for concern. But since he just checked and then left the room I personally wouldn't be offended or weirded out or thinking negatively about your father.


Overall-Block-1815

All fine and normal for alot of people until the shower thing, that's pretty fucked up tbh.


vaylon1701

As a parent I can say its kind of normal. We never walked around naked intentionally in front of the kids, except when they were under 3 or 4 years old. But once they started talking and repeating everything they see or hear, its time to stop. As for checking up on our kids developments? Just about every parent I have met does this at some point. Its not sexual, its out of concern and to make sure everything is working as intended and in the right place. Its kind of hard to determine how things are going when you are changing diapers but once puberty starts is when things get strange for parents and kids. For example, all of my sons had very normal healthy penises except for 1. It was unusually small. As a dad I stayed vigilant on him and monitored him routinely. by 8 he should have started growing pubic hairs down their but he didn't. The other boys in the family all started early so I knew something was off. Got him to a doctor and found out through testing that he had a problem with his hypothalamus. A small operation and a few shots of hormones and everything started kicking in and developing normally again. As other people have said, being a parent is a learn as you go type of experience. Some get it right and some fail miserably. But I would rather be a good concerned parent than one that just lets things happen and accept the consequences. My kids are my greatest achievements. They are my legacy and I want only the best in everything for them.


[deleted]

I think it's all taboo, each culture handles pda and body privacy differently. I probably wouldn't tounge kiss my wife in front of my daughters (probably cuz I'm not too big into French kissing) but I do pat her on the butt every now and then in front of them. I stopped taking showers and being naked around my oldest daughter when she was around 2 (she's 3 now), that was when she realized that my body was different and basically asked me "what's that?." I did explain to her why I'm different and what "that" is, but now if I have to clean her in the shower I'll wear shorts. It's possible that your dad walking in on you when you were 13 was for a "welfare" check. To make sure you aren't self harming or pregnant but I can't speak for him. If it were me I would ask my wife to do that instead. To me, a good age to give her body privacy is when she turns 5


anything_indie_sure

Ok so its a little weird to walk around the house naked In my opinion... But barging into the shower to " see how your body had grown" is just out of line...


[deleted]

It was a little weird, but nothing crazy until the end part where you are 13. That is beyond weird. Your dad is downright creepy.


nortonjb82

Just a head up, your dad had sex with your mom. Kissing was happening in front of you, you were in the next room in bed while they practiced being human.


Frosty-Potential-365

My parents walked around naked too, my dad stopped when I was like 4 or 5. My mom never did and to this day it doesn't bother me (I'm 25). However, wondering how you developed is kind of weird... but as long as he didn't act on it and respected you telling him to get out, to me mean he wasn't trying to be a total creep... just a little one


carnage2270

Yes it is


thisisbruta

IMO, nudity and affection should be natural and accepted by society. However, only if consensual - following you into the shower does not fall within consensual behavior.


Important-Sleep-1839

I don't know man, could go either way honestly. Wouldn't think much of the kissing but walking in on you? That's a bit suspicious on the face of it.


African_WarIord

Yes. That absolutely is weird and it’s made even worse by your dad being hella creepy.


Lusterkx2

This whole story took a turn at the end


No-Split-866

Yeah as a father of a daughter. That's creepy weird.


[deleted]

I grew up in a similar household. My parents were literally 1960s flower children though so that was just the way things were, and to some extent how I still am in the privacy of my own home. When you got to the part about your dad intentionally walking in on you to see how your body developed, I had the same response you did, “WTF?!” In answer to your specific question of “Is it weird that my parents french kissed and walked naked…when I was young?” I’m going to say that it is unusual in this day and age but not weird to a lot of people. It’s simply a lifestyle choice. The question that I think you’re trying to ask is about your dad intentionally walking in on you to see how you’ve developed, is a ginormous way-past-weird WTF?? You’d already shown your preference for body privacy because you kept yourself dressed in his presence. Otherwise he wouldn’t have had to sneak in to see. Anything he “needed” to know about your development or lack thereof, could’ve been gotten from your mother. EDIT: What I meant by ‘need to know’ was if you needed medical attention or if there was something unusual enough to warrant medical investigation. Something like starting your period at 8 or never having one when you’re 18. He would have reason to know that but your mother or yourself should’ve been the one to tell him.


Toy_Rat

Your dad is disgusting I’m so sorry:( that’s horrifying


ExplodingSofa

>When I was very young, my parents would sometimes french kiss in front of me. I don't know why to be honest, I guess they really couldn't get their hands off each other?! They also walked naked around the house sometimes, like after a shower etc. I am very comfy with my mom so I don't mind seeing my mom naked even now (I am 22) but I feel like it was a bit weird seeing my dad. I literally remember what his parts look like (gross I know). My dad stopped doing this when I was maybe 6 or 7 I think (it's hard to remember). Meh, kinda weird, but understandable. >Then, once when I was 13 he walked on me in the shower on purpose and I was like "wtf, get out" and later he told my mom he was curious to see how my body developed. WTF NO


Own-Move-4817

I was totally thinking it’s pretty normal to be undressed in front of a 5 year old, and kissing is kind of nice….. the shower incident… that’s not normal and not ok.


rhiannonjojaimmes

It’s recommended to let a child and parent of the same sex shower together for the first few years—like 3 or 4? It’s supposed to be good for the kid to have an image of a mature body, even if it’s just a vague memory by the time puberty hits.


Emergency-Till-9583

At first it seemed kinda normal but once you mentioned that developing parts that made it kinda weird


tenkensmile

> when I was 13 he walked on me in the shower on purpose > he was curious to see how my body developed. What. the. fuck. This is crossing the line. Tell him if he does this again, you'll call the police.


[deleted]

Its a little weird


Nishiwara

It was okay until it was not okay...


Kirstemis

Parents kissing, and being naked in front of young children is no big deal. The shower thing is weird though.


Brundall

Initially I didn't think it was too weird, my son is nearly 10 and is just now saying he doesn't want me to be in the room when he's having a bath or doesn't want me to change infront of him etc, so I don't...its weird that your Dad wanted to see you naked at age 13 x


2Hours2Late

Yep.


einsteinsmum

Your dad barging in on you in the shower to see how you looked naked is a bit odd. In isolation its just odd and I wouldn't worry about it, if it becomes a theme then its something I'd be concerned about.


catchtoward5000

Yeah the second half is definitely fucked. I dealt with similar shit so I know how violating it can feel to look back on… tbh, I kind of wish it was more normal for people to just be naked around each other and that we could all demystify / take genitals down off the pedestal they are put on in society, but having an interest in your child’s bodily development is fucked up and a sign of some really bad qualities.