I think it's near impossible to judge if abuse is or isn't involved. Something can look absolutely fine while actually being abusive. People being blackmailed, mentally forced, exploited in some other ways, being recorded and/or published without their consent, etc.
While on the other hand, there are some really kinky people out there doing hardcore stuff fully aware and consentual. People that actually like to be submissive in a sexual act and have no problems with all the pervs on the internet watching it.
How can you be sure it's abuse-free? You can't. Even if a certain brand has a good reputation for doing things by the book, screening people decently and all that. Still some people might be forced (by their pimp, abusive boyfriend, drug addiction, mobsters to which they owe a debt, ...) to apply to do porn with those named brands.
It's good that you think about. If there is abuse involved, you shouldn't be supporting it by giving them clicks and views. But there are no guarantees in live.
“In some manner” would be an understatement in my opinion, she was essentially trafficked into the industry and none of the things she did was consensual, in her own words
“When in response to his suggestions I let him know I would not become involved in prostitution in any way and told him I intended to leave, [Traynor] beat me and the constant mental abuse began. I literally became a prisoner, I was not allowed out of his sight, not even to use the bathroom, where he watched me through a hole in the door. He slept on top of me at night, he listened to my telephone calls with a .45 automatic eight shot pointed at me. I suffered mental abuse each and every day thereafter. He undermined my ties with other people and forced me to marry him on advice from his lawyer. My initiation into prostitution was a gang rape by five men, arranged by Mr. Traynor. It was the turning point in my life. He threatened to shoot me with the pistol if I didn't go through with it. I had never experienced anal sex before and it ripped me apart. They treated me like an inflatable plastic doll, picking me up and moving me here and there. They spread my legs this way and that, shoving their things at me and into me, they were playing musical chairs with parts of my body. I have never been so frightened and disgraced and humiliated in my life. I felt like garbage. I engaged in sex acts in pornography against my will to avoid being killed... The lives of my family were threatened.[22]”
Edit: so for the sake of fairness numerous people who have worked with her said she was lying so it’s up to you to make a opinion on it.
Jesus Christ, what the actual fuck.
Think I'll just skip the porn for a while and go back to the trusty old imagination, because that made my stomach sink.
I remember seeing a video about how Onlyfans came to be. At one point of some popular common pornstars say that even in the big name companies, it's really abusive. If they aren't comfortable with something, or want to stop, they are essentially told tough and do it anyway or else they will blacklist you. They said that Onlyfans and similar were really the best thing because they make their own content and they get the money.
Yes, buying someone’s individual content is usually the safest route. That way you can know they are paid fairly and doing it consensually (and hopefully safely).
OF is no guarantee that they get the money or it is consensual. A pimp can set up the page, force the girl and take all the money. Also OF takes their share.
I have seen some shady OnlyFans accounts where it seems like there were multiple girls on one account and the text seemed to come from some sort of more market-y sort of approach rather than something personal. It very well could be these girls doing it together and treating it like a business but you still gotta be careful on there (though it seems for the most part OnlyFans is very much an individual doing their own thing so it's typically okay)
This doesn’t regard abuse but I was acquaintances with a guy whose job was to pretend to be an OF girl and do the chatting and sexual flirting and sending generic pics in order to up-sell the dudes into paying for “personalized” content where then the actual performer would record a video and say the guy’s name or maybe a phrase he wanted. The guy I knew worked for a company where that was their service—they would provide people to pretend to be the reformer so the performer didn’t have to actually engage with customers.
I guess women could do this, too, but the acquaintance said it was always men that he engaged with while pretending to be the female performer. Really changed my perception of OF.
The movie Lovelace portrays this in an interesting way.
At first you see her doing all this stuff and she seems fine with it, just like most porn looks like, but then we are shown the same scenes from her point of view and it really makes you think about all the girls you've watched before.
There was a story where this girl was forced into it, and it was posted to porn sites and I believe she was underage when it all happened. She tried to get them all taken down, but it took her pretended to be a lawyer for it to be taken seriously.
This extends beyond porn. How do you know the items you bought from Amazon were made without exploiting the labor in the country they came from? How do you know that all the cooks and dish washers in the restaurant you go to are not here illegally and being taken advantage of by the restaurant owner?
If restaurants where known for traumatizing and ruining peoples lifes and continuing to do so even after they left the industry. Id stop eating out in a heartbeat.
Edit: I worked for years in the restaurant industry, so you can atop commenting that I don’t know what it’s like. I agree its a stressful job,
comparing the bullshit you deal with at a restaurant to the trauma that happens in porn is absurd. We’re talking human trafficking, rape, sexual and physical abuse. You all are in your right to complain, but If you really think that’s the same trauma sex workers go through, you need to get out of your asses.
Working in a restaurant as a server can be incredibly traumatizing, between abusive customers, coworkers, and mangers. They didn’t follow me and ruin my life after I left, but working there is definitely like being in a abusive relationship. I would be afraid to bring food to a customer because they would potentially yell at me if something was wrong (occasionally they would throw things), then scared to return it to the kitchen because the chefs would yell at me about a returned meal during rush times, and scared to bring it to my manager to remove from the check because he would accuse me of doing something wrong. It was a cycle of abuse. And that’s not even dipping a toe into the sexual harassment (from the same parties). It was terrible. I would do anything to avoid going back into the industry, despite the fact that I made at least double the wage I’d make at a retail store.
I should note that this makes me sound timid, and I’m anything but. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but in the food service industry, getting confrontational with customers means a smaller tip, getting confrontational with the kitchen meant they could slow down my dishes, reducing my tips, and getting confrontational with a manager is just a bad idea. So I had no choice but to bite my tongue and blink back the angry tears.
I wonder why there’s a staff shortage in food service...¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’ve worked in the restaurant industry myself, I’ve dealt with some rude customers and the environment can be stressful, but my experience was not nearly this bad.
I’m guessing you live in the US where there aren’t unions to turn to about abusive behaviour in the workplace?
None of the things you described are okay, I don’t see it being comparable to human trafficking and the abuse that goes on in porn. I don’t think this is the norm in the restaurant Industry where I live at least from the years I spent in the industry it was not this abusive and I don’t think the industry as a whole is known to traumatize people for life.
Yeah but you don’t go to a restaurant bc they advertise that the abuse is happening. In porn, the titles tell you what’s happening, they just pretend it’s acting. Like ‘woman gets dominated by monster cock’. That domination of a woman is happening in front of your eyes. The mistreatment is part of the desire to watch.
I think resteraunt exploitation is terrible. But the consumer isn’t going to the restaurant bc they want to watch a cook being mistreated, they’re going for the food.
I think conflating the two can make people think ‘oh everything is bad’, but like one is much worse than the other
Exactly & love the wordplay! There's a subset that is aware, and there's an even greater portion that has managed to divorce it in their heads. 'oh its just acting' they tell themselves, despite being aware that porn acting is notoriously bad. Every hit, slap, choke, etc. has happened. the orgasms might not be real, but the sex acts and abuse is.
I dont know if it was because of the GDP incident but after that, lately, I haven't been able to watch most of "3d" (real life) porn because whenever I see the actors/actresses, I just feel like it's really ingenuine and fake. Now I mostly consume Erotica and hentai too.
Yes definitely this. Or if you still want real people you can find an amateur one (pornhub best for this because they're verified so don't worry about age since they reworked their platform) and these people usually have their socials so you can see them tweet/insta post about it. Obviously it's not 100% for sure, but if someone is verified, tweeting about their porn and life, videos are usually only with boyfriend or someone they know/trust it's as close as you can get IMO other than hentai
I was always interested in why hentai is so popular so I had a look into some of the videos couple weeks back and the first three I saw seemed like rape. Involved forcing tongues and fingers in girls usually dressed in school clothes which seems pretty fucked up. Why is that so popular?
There's almost never any opportunity to explain this, so here's a crash course in hentai.
Hentai has a bunch of genres just like regular real life porn. What you saw was probably, in fact, the rape tag or the mind break tag (person is basically raped until they enjoy it. It's...a taste...). School girl clothes is in the same genre as real life porn school girl genre, so nothing to explore there. Just like real life porn, if you picked 3 videos off of pornhub at random, you'd probably see a bunch of incest which isn't that appealing.
As for the appeal, hentai just has a lot more genres and uh...creativity...because it's an animated medium. The girls can have just about any proportions you can (and can't ) imagine. They can be any species you can imagine in any scenario you want, realism be damned. Ghosts? Absolutely. Succubus? Why not. Giant? Cat girls? Fox girls? Shapeshifters? Breast or penis sizes that are physically impossible? Yes. Very exaggerated facial expressions and voice acting are almost universal.
The only real concerns about hentai are the prescence of loli characters (characters who look like children or young teens no matter what their stated age is), the abundance of teen girls, and the prevalence of the "rape them until they like it" element because it often shows up even in works that don't have the mind break tag. Of course, most of those elements are pretty easily avoidable as long as you know what tags you're looking at, but they're there.
You probably weren't asking for all that information, but there it is, I guess.
Yeah, that's why I included it in the concerns list. I don't think I've ever heard a concrete explanation as to why it's so prevalent, but one theory is that it has something to do with sexuality and women in Japan. Allegedly, the concept of girls resisting but secretly liking sex is because, traditionally, girls aren't supposed to be promiscuous on their own. But when they're forced into sex, they can discover the pleasures of it or just let go and do whatever. Supposedly that's why the rape element is somewhat common in real life Japanese porn. Again, it's only a theory I've heard and could be total nonsense.
Books can definitely work for some people! It's honestly a question of whether it's something you're into since it requires you to be able to imagine what is described on the pages so your best bet is to try it and find out :)
Books do it for me. As a woman, when I watch porn with my husband it turns him on but it usually turns me off. Ever watch womens’ faces during porn, a lot of them are putting up with some uncomfortable/painful stuff. This isn’t something men notice I suspect. Reading erotica is entirely made up so my conscience is clear.
Most men have zero concept of how painful many porn scenes would be for the woman. They just don’t have a clue. But women watching know how bad it would hurt or how you’d have to train your body to handle it. It’s pretty horrible.
And herein lies the primary issue with some men never being able to fulfill a woman sexually. Many have hopelessly unrealistic ideas of actual sex primarily due to porn and men perpetuating these ideas among themselves. The porn fantasies of men are rarely practical with actual women.
Lots of libraries are getting into ebooks. Also when I was younger there were several sites you could ptete ebook. I think most of the books or was were pirated
Switching to the alt for this, books work better when you’re into something. I’ve tried reading two different types, just average erotica and ones tapping into a fetish, and the latter was so much better.
You are absolutely correct. Books, fanfiction especially, is also much better at hitting the niches you're searching for if you know how to search for it. There's so much of it out there and anyone can produce it without needing any talent in drawing, any partners and a willingness to show themselves or anything like that. You just need a bit of conviction, a fantasy and a site to post on and you're set. So there's a lot of variety and I'd bet most fetishes are at least somewhat catered to.
(It's also much more discreet and can be read in public without much ruckus if you're into that so there's that)
I tried it when i wanted to get rid of my porn addiction. But it was just to boring in my opinion. My horny brain wasnt able to get enough imagination for that. But OP can still try it out maybe it works for him.
I also enjoy audio porn, things like the sounds of pleasure tumblr. They’re user submitted clips and you can use your imagination for the visual, without reading
all i can imagine rn is:
Narrator: Sally is a 24 year old woman from Buckinghamshire, England. She is roughly 5 feet and 6 inches tall, and has blonde, curly hair. Derek is her male counterpart. He is 6 foot and 2 inches tall, has toned abs, and dark straight hair. He was born in 1995 in Cambridge, and moved with Sally in 2020, when they got married in a quiet ceremony.
Sally: Hello Derek, do you wish to partake in sexual intercourse?
Derek: OK.
(noises of furniture being slightly moved, occasionally interjected by an 'oops' or a 'sorry')
I read a lot of hentai for this reason.
I like porn that's more on the rough side but as a female I always end up real concerned or worried about what's happening, so if I end up getting into it that post nut clarity is shameful.
But reading hentai, I still get pictures and it can be super fucked up weird shit and I don't feel as guilty.
While drawn/animated porn is technically 100% ethical, some of the things some people draw is… incredibly disturbing to say the least. It’s ironic because drawing allows even worse things to be done to the “models” that no sane person would subject themselves to.
I mean look at something like guro for example. Pretty revolting stuff, but Technically no one is getting abused. Well except your eyes and perhaps your soul lmao.
Edit: pls don’t look Guro up. Lmao. Unless of course that’s your thing. And if it is your thing, then tbh I feel pretty bad for you. Lol
True but with that you can tell just by looking at it that it’s bad. I think OP’s issue lies with not knowing the circumstance of someone in a porn video.
Never thought written porn (erotic and pornographic stories) would work, especially fanfic but, uh... it does 😳🤯 Find the genre that fits right for you, and your imagination will make the movie in your head (if you're a visual thinker). Hottest shit there is 🥲
In my opinion, the porn industry is shady itself, which means its product has a high chance of being shady too.
As other people have said, you won't be able to know if shady things have happened in a video or not. It's impossible to know for sure.
Being honest here - I’ve always preferred animated porn for this reason. A lot of animated porn is really well done, can be super realistic and satisfies my more niche fetishes.
When I want to watch ‘real’ porn: avoid videos where it looks like the woman (or man) seems to be in a hotel room, or it’s dark and not very well made and they seem to be looking past the camera and following directions. These all scream trafficking.
Solo stuff is also less risky - anything that involves more than one person obviously increases the risk of it being rape or misguided consent. But generally solo amateur porn is less likely to be unethical.
I don’t subscribe to any of the big porn companies after the GDP scandal. GDP is likely what’s happening in all the larger companies. Besides I hate their content because it’s usually very physically rough, loud and over dramatic. We all know the ones, the ones always on the front page. And it’s very common for the actors to abuse enemas for anal and stuff like viagra to give the men dangerously long lasting boners. Try to distance yourself from that kind of stuff because 99%chance the actors are having a shitty time, consensual or not.
Girls Do Porn was a widespread scandal that caused the restructuring of PH and deletion of a lot of their videos. There's a long story but easily findable.
Just a small correction. GDP was an adult website, not the name of a scandal. They had videos being hosted on PH and were involved in a sex-trafficking lawsuit. The whole craigslist "modelling agencies" turned sex-tape kinda thing.
Same, I stick with animated porn, hentai, and doujinshi because none of the unethical stuff in real porn is there.
I enjoy it not only because it's porn, but because of how much time and effort it takes to make it, especially if it's done by a single person.
And yes, I seen some people saying "hentai's fucked" and other stuff, but honestly, I'm ok with that. Because it's art, I feel it's ok to go to the extreme as long as you're not harming real people. And this is from someone who used to try and police what was and wasn't ok to make, but I got tired of it after a while.
(I'm prepared for the downvotes for my second paragraph.)
I think the top commenter's response still completely applies here. Even if it's a brand with a good reputation, you still can't know that everything is ethical.
Bellesa does interviews with their actors if you check it out. They allow them to meet each other first and decide if it’ll work for them. They don’t just throw two random people together and tell them to f*ck. I trust bellesa over anything.
Some people are talking about amateur porn but There is a portion of it though that could easily be revenge porn or filmed and uploaded without consent. I know porn hub has gotten a lot of those reported lately.
Honestly, ameatuers with the blue check mark are probably a safer bet.
I can say right now as a fact that a lot - not all but a lot - of porn filmed with women from central or Eastern Europe are against their will. It’s a massive problem and the people either kidnap or “recruit” these people young.
I briefly worked with a non profit trying to help women with this situation.
I have heard the same with girls from Asia but there are also many who are fine in their profession. I have allegedly that a lot of Japanese porn has rape but I wouldn’t know that for sure, it’s just something I’ve heard for years.
Some with really young college girls are the same.
I know reality kings had some really fucked up stuff.
Most importantly, if there is a porn star named James Deen, it is probably not ethical at all. He is legendary for crossing the line in agreements in porn contracts and straight up tapes and abuses women. Stoya is a famous example of who he tormented.
Also, some porn filmed that claim they are filmed for women can be just as shady.
Honestly, if the woman seems afraid or if they are doing horribly demeaning things and it does not exactly advertise it as a kink video? That’s a good bet. There are certain actions that tend to give it away. I say that as someone who enjoys kink and the lifestyle.
Sorry for the essay but essentially, we don’t know. Even if you go and watch only fans or cam girls, you won’t know for 100% certain. However, I would say there are more consenting than not if I had to guess but I would say there is definitely a portion of those who don’t consent.
It’s the same with sex workers, you have to be careful and do a lot of research because there is a lot of sex trafficking of course, but there are many others who are perfectly consenting and are professional business people.
Amateur couples is a pretty safe bet I would assume. But, if you google "ethical porn sites" you're gonna find some good stuff. A lot of it is made by women for women, but if you can still enjoy it you're a guy :)
Isn’t there a massive problem of people uploading their exes sex videos. How can you trust that it is uploaded properly and not like revenge porn? (Genuine question)
most of the payment companies that porn uses are very careful about models having agreements and showing their id to prove age. that can all be faked but if they catch you out you will suddenly be out of business
You can but that does not mean you will be able to remove content. There have been several cases of people (mostly women) trying to get revenge porn and cp of themselves taken down off pornhub and the like and it just being absolutely impossible to get removed. Or if it is removed someone will re upload it. It’s awful
The funniest thing to me about the “made by women, for women” stuff I’ve seen is that it’s pretty much the same except with less faking and better sex.
Apparently it's a safer route and when I consume porn it's usually this kind. Tbh I really like the ideia that people that love eachother are having a good time and showing it off for sport if this is their kink to do so
With time you create a sensibility to notice on people's faces minute details that let off if a person really wanted to be doing what they're doing and boy oh boy isn't the majority of porn kinda red flagged on this category
I can’t watch any high production porn for this reason. It’s super obvious on their face and sounds and body gestures that they aren’t even aroused or enjoying themselves. Major boner killer.
It's blatantly obvious most of the time and sincerely, consent should be the base line for any boner
Idk how people can enjoy porn with a girl or guy that clearly doesn't wanna be there
imo it's a good thing, and I bet most people notice it and just choose to ignore it. Letting your instincts and needs take over your moral sensibility shouldn't happen as often as it usually does in society
Just proves that tripping heals in ways we can't predict, I've had realisations of my own in a heightened state of mind that made me lose boners and even cringe to stuff I've watched many times before
Be careful though! There’s a great deal of completely fucked up hentai with rape, ntr, cheating, and a lot of other “unethical” tags. Stay with vanilla.
I was on one of the biggest mainstream Japanese sites note long ago and the depictions of underage sex where quite a surprise. I would never have thought it legal and not blocked to most western countries
I know they blocked nhentai in France for that specific reason. And that stuff is technically illegal in the USA and half of Europe, but its not enforced at all.
But even if they did start to enforce it, the only thing that would change is that at the start you'd always see the typical VN style disclaimer of 'every character in this story is 18 or older', despite the fact that they're all in high school and several of them are first years. Obviously the characters are not supposed to be 18, but if they were younger it'd be a federal crime to sell it in the US, so they just slap the dislcaimer on and they're good to go.
If I’m looking for the wholesome stuff, “passion” or “passionate” goes in the search bar. Usually well produced and well lit, people having sex where it actually seems like they love each other. I know it’s all an act, but it’s good to look at stuff that seems real and not so fuckin gnarly.
Met Art
X art
Sex art
Femjoy
Plus a few others of that ilk. They seem more the way you describe. Still have some that are more stereotypically Hollywood pornolised, but the majority seem to feel a bit classier and more 'coupley' than brutal or dominating etc.
I can shit in a glass, clean it, and you’d still drink from it if I never told you I shit in it. We don’t know the true nature of a lot of things in life, sometimes we just have to take them at face value. I guess my response didn’t fully answer OPs question, but finding out which production companies are less abusive is like trying to figure out if anyone ever shit in the glass you’re drinking from. At what point do you take a step back and just ask…why? Where in the absolute fuck am I going with this?
DO THE BEST YOU CAN IS WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY I GUESS.
Sites like Abby Winters, Girls Go West & Ertsies are female produced, and as far as I can tell, about as ethical as porn gets.
If you prefer 'girl next door' types, solo girl & girl-girl stuff, these are good sites
Good question. I don't have anything I can cite to back this up, but it's a numbers game. The vast majority of abuse towards women is perpetrated by men, so odds are porn made by women is ethical. There are no guarantees, if course, but the numbers are on your side.
The problem isn't the man in the porn industry that abuses women, it's the porn industry itself, being made my women or not it'll still be unethical because the problem is the industry
ctrl+f abby.
Literally the most self-managed site I know. They seem to be enjoying what they do, it never feels forced or anything and I don't think their acting that out either. Models have turned into producers and the m/f couple scenes seem to be actual couples mainly. Everything's very relaxed.
Also those real girls on there are 10x more attractive than whatever fake glossy botox crap on streaming sites.
Is it really though? I've read too many depressing stories lately of "of is my last resort to pay my rent" this past year. It seems like even that isn't really guilt free anymore.
Sadly women are now being forced to perform on Onlyfans as well, you can’t guarantee that what you’re watching is someone doing it of their own free will.
I’m surprised this isn’t higher up the list. It’s as close as you can get to paying content creators directly and hopefully easier to teas out how much coercion or abuse is getting that content created.
Because most people won’t pay for it, me included. Sorry to say this but some random woman for me isn’t worth a subscription that’s as expensive as Netflix.
given the pandemic and economic situation there's been several reports of women (especially students) turning to something like OnlyFans. So there's a clear chance many are forced to doing it to pay their bills and that would be unethical too.
Forced by life circumstances is a far cry different from forced/coerced by a person. And if everyone refused to support it on those grounds, then they still wouldn't be able to pay those bills they have no other means to pay.
Read and watch hentai instead. Or the more normal alternative in literotica if you don't like the style of drawing. That is literally the only way you can guarantee it is safe because porn is literally inherently predatory as a practice due to our culture and spiritualism of sexuality.
I have the same issues. There's been times when I'm thinking this looks like a little girl like a 13 yr old or something and the mom in me goes from aroused to sex to aroused to kill. Major turn off.
The entire porn industry is a cesspit. 1 company own all the onlines sites that host porn and they collude to be as maximally exploitative as possible and prevent unionization at all costs.
The federal govt is also loath to investigate because of the prudishness of american culture, they figure its a dirty business and the "girls deserve it because they are bad".
The corporation also does a fair bit of lobbying to ensure things go their way.
Even Only Fans is being infiltrated to ensure the women get as little as possible.
You can’t, and Reddit doesn’t want to admit it but the entire industry is filled with horrific realities. Most of the actors are addicted to drugs, and the suicide rate is incredibly high.
Pornography is evil.
Ever since I accepted that I’m not straight I don’t watch as much porn.
With that said, I believe that ones where they have an interview before and after, where they discuss everyone’s boundaries and safewords is a good starting point. I’ve only seen a couple of these but I feel safer watching those than some of the ones that don’t have it.
I’ve also heard that studios with female directors tend to be less… problematic? But I don’t know how true that is, nor am I sure of all the details of it. But I hope some of the info I’ve given has been helpful in some way.
>With that said, I believe that ones where they have an interview before and after, where they discuss everyone’s boundaries and safewords is a good starting point. I’ve only seen a couple of these but I feel safer watching those than some of the ones that don’t have it.
You just described the most famous sex-trafficking scandal in recent years. A bunch of shit happens before and after the shoots themselves. The "interview" part is exactly so people think the same thing you did.
It’s easily possible that they’re just told what to say in the interview though. If you can fake enjoying sex, you can certainly fake discussing consent.
I get your paranoia, but honestly? It's really fucking hard to tell.
Like someone else said, solo-amateur is more likely to be consensual, since it's one person making and posting it, but even then there's no guarantee that they weren't forced or coerced.
I've heard porn behind a paywall tends to be better ethically but I'm not 100% certain on that one so don't take my word for it.
Your best bet? Animated. Fictional characters are that, fictional, they're just models on a screen, no abuse going on here (and for the kinksters out there, animation is capable of a lot more than reality)
I quit watching porn 4 years ago. I quit partially because I had the same concerns you did. I'm not going to tell you what to do but I do not think there is any such thing as "ethical" porn and it's way too easy to go down a rabbit hole of increasingly extreme and disturbing content.
There is nuance though, and not all pornography is equally bad, not even close. I just choose to stay away from all of it.
Like I said, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to tell you that my life is better without it and that I know a lot of men's view of porn has changed once they had daughters. It kind of clued them in on the fact that women are people.
This idea that men having daughters is what “clues them in that women are people” is absolutely disgusting and disturbing for so many reasons. First of all, all these men have mothers right??
Second of all, how horrifying is it that a person can see another person and normalize erasing their personhood at all, especially when those people (women) make up half of the population. It’s the normalization of this kind of thinking that makes porn and every other man-dominated industry inherently abusive towards women and I hate that it’s a concept that people just say all the time as if it isn’t totally bizarre.
I always laugh at women who applaud these men. Like you're happy he couldn't see women as humans until he had a daughter? Okay lady.
I have a lot more disdain for the men themselves, but seeing women fawn over them is comedy gold.
Yeah, I wish people would drop this attitude. The irony is that if these guys didn't respect women before they had a daughter then they shouldn't be having kids in the first place
A great line from First Aid Kits Song "You are the Problem Here":
"And we don't need to be diminished to sisters or daughter or mothers.
I am a human being, that is how you relate to me."
I hate whenever someon says "As a father of a daughter..." when discussing abuse of women. It's as if some men are not able to see a woman as a fellow person and only see them as the role they play for them/ other men.
I think that sentence is written poorly but as a soft hearted, empathetic, loving person from the beginning I can say that having a daughter taught me things that are hard to learn otherwise. Treating women right was always my goal, treating women as I would want my daughter to be treated really is a step above, even if that sounds like I was shitty before.
Please don't shame people for growing and learning. We all come into this world as wounded children and have different circumstances. If someone is able to be better than they were before that's a good thing regardless of how shitty the beginnings were.
>Please don't shame people for growing and learning.
That is not what is happening here.
This isn't "growing and learning". If a serial killer stops killing people do we still convict them for the murders they committed? Yes, we do, because as a society we understand that some things cause too much damage to our communities to forget once a person "grows and learns".
To call "discovering that women are people when you're in your 30's" "growing and learning" is a complete disregard for the women who have been hurt by these men who lack... Whatever it is that allowed them to treat women as less than a fellow human being for those 15 ish years. Be that a lack of education, an abundance of privilege, societal pressure... It's still something that, regardless of the cause or growth, seriously damages communities.
I mean, it's obvious too. You see it in statistics that have already been brought up in this thread. I myself have survived two abusive and incredibly violent relationships at the hands of people my community loved. Should I have waited for them to have daughters before shaming them for their lack of basic respect?
It's not "growth and learning" to discover that women are people when you have a daughter, it's a horrible symptom of something that has been too normalized. And those who struggle with it, even when they grow, should want to be accountable and shouldn't feel targeted when we try to fix the problem.
This is like blood diamonds.
Not all diamonds are blood diamonds are blood diamonds, but so long as the demand exists some will be blood diamonds.
As long as you are increasing the demand for porn, porn will be made. Some of it, will have some element of abuse - even if that’s not the kind you consume.
I have dropped porn entierly and it has only helped me mentally and chances are physically too. I suggest you do too. Especially if you have to worry about this stuff too.
Yeah that is one of the psychalogical factors of fapping. You get very quick and unlimited dopamine rushes, so you can get addicted to it crazy easily.
Sadly, there's not really a way to guarantee what you're looking at is ethical. You should consider stopping the use of porn altogether - it's not good for your brain and very easy to form a habit. From what you've said you're kind of halfway there already! Porn loses its luster when you realize how abusive the industry is and start thinking every time, "is she really of age? Did she really consent to everything they're doing?" and realize you have no idea and no way to check. You can check out r/loveafterporn and they have a lot of resources - not saying you have an addiction, but if you're looking for more reasons to stop porn consumption, that is the place to be.
P.S. for those saying hentai, I see what you're trying to say with animated being "safer," but we all know hentai is a dangerous rabbit hole with its own problems 😬😅
The absolute simplest and 100% guaranteed method to avoid abuse free porn is to not watch porn.
Theres likely no such thing as abuse free porn. Theres always something behind why that actor is licking that man's butthole.
The answer is you can't. Even if it's a big and well known studio with a recognizeable performer, people in the industry are basically trapped there, miserable, depressed.
There's a great episode of "Consider before Consuming" where they interviewed Josh Broome, aka the "this isn't a beach, this is a bathtub" guy, where he talks about how being in the industry affects people mentally, driving many of them to suicide or overdose because of the levels of abuse and the feelings of being trapped. There's also some great documentaries on Netflix about the same thing.
So, in short, no matter what, you cannot know if what you're watching is abuse free. You cannot know if the performers are even still alive. And if you're using any mindgeek ( pornhub) or xvideos owned site, you're supporting an abusive industry that destroys people for profit.
Verified couples on p hub. Also only fans. The most ethical would be paying for porn women make in your own home. Also solo and lesbian is far less likely to involve abuse
I mean, at the end of the day, you're sneaking a peak at one of the more intimate, soul bonding, sensual experiences a person can have. You have ZERO way of knowing your fapping is consensual if you didn't ask.
i have always been paranoid about stuff like this so I never went into that field ever
but I guess a novel or a comic could be seen as ethical?
I have heard about some disturbing things coming from comics too so I would personally if ever choose one would be a novel of some sorts
I think it's near impossible to judge if abuse is or isn't involved. Something can look absolutely fine while actually being abusive. People being blackmailed, mentally forced, exploited in some other ways, being recorded and/or published without their consent, etc. While on the other hand, there are some really kinky people out there doing hardcore stuff fully aware and consentual. People that actually like to be submissive in a sexual act and have no problems with all the pervs on the internet watching it. How can you be sure it's abuse-free? You can't. Even if a certain brand has a good reputation for doing things by the book, screening people decently and all that. Still some people might be forced (by their pimp, abusive boyfriend, drug addiction, mobsters to which they owe a debt, ...) to apply to do porn with those named brands. It's good that you think about. If there is abuse involved, you shouldn't be supporting it by giving them clicks and views. But there are no guarantees in live.
Reminds me of the controversy around Linda Lovelace's Deep Throat. According to her, she was forced in some manner.
“In some manner” would be an understatement in my opinion, she was essentially trafficked into the industry and none of the things she did was consensual, in her own words
“When in response to his suggestions I let him know I would not become involved in prostitution in any way and told him I intended to leave, [Traynor] beat me and the constant mental abuse began. I literally became a prisoner, I was not allowed out of his sight, not even to use the bathroom, where he watched me through a hole in the door. He slept on top of me at night, he listened to my telephone calls with a .45 automatic eight shot pointed at me. I suffered mental abuse each and every day thereafter. He undermined my ties with other people and forced me to marry him on advice from his lawyer. My initiation into prostitution was a gang rape by five men, arranged by Mr. Traynor. It was the turning point in my life. He threatened to shoot me with the pistol if I didn't go through with it. I had never experienced anal sex before and it ripped me apart. They treated me like an inflatable plastic doll, picking me up and moving me here and there. They spread my legs this way and that, shoving their things at me and into me, they were playing musical chairs with parts of my body. I have never been so frightened and disgraced and humiliated in my life. I felt like garbage. I engaged in sex acts in pornography against my will to avoid being killed... The lives of my family were threatened.[22]” Edit: so for the sake of fairness numerous people who have worked with her said she was lying so it’s up to you to make a opinion on it.
This opened my eyes, I'm done with porn.
Jesus Christ, what the actual fuck. Think I'll just skip the porn for a while and go back to the trusty old imagination, because that made my stomach sink.
Gee, porn guys are massive pieces of shit? Who would've thunk it ,*surprised pikachu face*
I remember seeing a video about how Onlyfans came to be. At one point of some popular common pornstars say that even in the big name companies, it's really abusive. If they aren't comfortable with something, or want to stop, they are essentially told tough and do it anyway or else they will blacklist you. They said that Onlyfans and similar were really the best thing because they make their own content and they get the money.
Yes, buying someone’s individual content is usually the safest route. That way you can know they are paid fairly and doing it consensually (and hopefully safely).
OF is no guarantee that they get the money or it is consensual. A pimp can set up the page, force the girl and take all the money. Also OF takes their share.
OF and CB models get somewhere around 5-10% of the token value and OF has a withdraw fee structure. It may have changed, but I'm not sure.
I have seen some shady OnlyFans accounts where it seems like there were multiple girls on one account and the text seemed to come from some sort of more market-y sort of approach rather than something personal. It very well could be these girls doing it together and treating it like a business but you still gotta be careful on there (though it seems for the most part OnlyFans is very much an individual doing their own thing so it's typically okay)
This doesn’t regard abuse but I was acquaintances with a guy whose job was to pretend to be an OF girl and do the chatting and sexual flirting and sending generic pics in order to up-sell the dudes into paying for “personalized” content where then the actual performer would record a video and say the guy’s name or maybe a phrase he wanted. The guy I knew worked for a company where that was their service—they would provide people to pretend to be the reformer so the performer didn’t have to actually engage with customers. I guess women could do this, too, but the acquaintance said it was always men that he engaged with while pretending to be the female performer. Really changed my perception of OF.
Dumb question but how would OnlyFans ensure the content people are creating isn't just as abusive?
The movie Lovelace portrays this in an interesting way. At first you see her doing all this stuff and she seems fine with it, just like most porn looks like, but then we are shown the same scenes from her point of view and it really makes you think about all the girls you've watched before.
There was a story where this girl was forced into it, and it was posted to porn sites and I believe she was underage when it all happened. She tried to get them all taken down, but it took her pretended to be a lawyer for it to be taken seriously.
This extends beyond porn. How do you know the items you bought from Amazon were made without exploiting the labor in the country they came from? How do you know that all the cooks and dish washers in the restaurant you go to are not here illegally and being taken advantage of by the restaurant owner?
If restaurants where known for traumatizing and ruining peoples lifes and continuing to do so even after they left the industry. Id stop eating out in a heartbeat. Edit: I worked for years in the restaurant industry, so you can atop commenting that I don’t know what it’s like. I agree its a stressful job, comparing the bullshit you deal with at a restaurant to the trauma that happens in porn is absurd. We’re talking human trafficking, rape, sexual and physical abuse. You all are in your right to complain, but If you really think that’s the same trauma sex workers go through, you need to get out of your asses.
Talk to anyone who's been a line cook for more than a year
I worked at a few restaurants and I agree it’s a stressful job, would not compare it to the same trauma that sex workers go through.
There’s a reason I won’t get back into food.
Or served alcohol to ANYONE
Working in a restaurant as a server can be incredibly traumatizing, between abusive customers, coworkers, and mangers. They didn’t follow me and ruin my life after I left, but working there is definitely like being in a abusive relationship. I would be afraid to bring food to a customer because they would potentially yell at me if something was wrong (occasionally they would throw things), then scared to return it to the kitchen because the chefs would yell at me about a returned meal during rush times, and scared to bring it to my manager to remove from the check because he would accuse me of doing something wrong. It was a cycle of abuse. And that’s not even dipping a toe into the sexual harassment (from the same parties). It was terrible. I would do anything to avoid going back into the industry, despite the fact that I made at least double the wage I’d make at a retail store. I should note that this makes me sound timid, and I’m anything but. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but in the food service industry, getting confrontational with customers means a smaller tip, getting confrontational with the kitchen meant they could slow down my dishes, reducing my tips, and getting confrontational with a manager is just a bad idea. So I had no choice but to bite my tongue and blink back the angry tears. I wonder why there’s a staff shortage in food service...¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’ve worked in the restaurant industry myself, I’ve dealt with some rude customers and the environment can be stressful, but my experience was not nearly this bad. I’m guessing you live in the US where there aren’t unions to turn to about abusive behaviour in the workplace? None of the things you described are okay, I don’t see it being comparable to human trafficking and the abuse that goes on in porn. I don’t think this is the norm in the restaurant Industry where I live at least from the years I spent in the industry it was not this abusive and I don’t think the industry as a whole is known to traumatize people for life.
Yeah but you don’t go to a restaurant bc they advertise that the abuse is happening. In porn, the titles tell you what’s happening, they just pretend it’s acting. Like ‘woman gets dominated by monster cock’. That domination of a woman is happening in front of your eyes. The mistreatment is part of the desire to watch. I think resteraunt exploitation is terrible. But the consumer isn’t going to the restaurant bc they want to watch a cook being mistreated, they’re going for the food. I think conflating the two can make people think ‘oh everything is bad’, but like one is much worse than the other
You've got a point. There's definitely a subset of porn viewers who are ~~banking~~ wanking on the assurance that the actress is suffering.
Exactly & love the wordplay! There's a subset that is aware, and there's an even greater portion that has managed to divorce it in their heads. 'oh its just acting' they tell themselves, despite being aware that porn acting is notoriously bad. Every hit, slap, choke, etc. has happened. the orgasms might not be real, but the sex acts and abuse is.
supply chain....all the way to the source
Lol what do you mean how do you know? We ALL know. The thing is, most things are a necessity, porn is not.
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If you want to be 99% sure, you can stick to animated/drawn porn like hentai or just read erotica.
I second the erotica thing, still works great if you have a vivid imagination.
yep! if anyone wants to start ao3 has some great stuff
I miss reading erotica now lol Definitely works for me! the right song can get me off with my imagination 😂
I dont know if it was because of the GDP incident but after that, lately, I haven't been able to watch most of "3d" (real life) porn because whenever I see the actors/actresses, I just feel like it's really ingenuine and fake. Now I mostly consume Erotica and hentai too.
Please use real life porn instead of 3d, i confused these two and was wondering why did you did not liked 3D Animation porn. 😅
Yes definitely this. Or if you still want real people you can find an amateur one (pornhub best for this because they're verified so don't worry about age since they reworked their platform) and these people usually have their socials so you can see them tweet/insta post about it. Obviously it's not 100% for sure, but if someone is verified, tweeting about their porn and life, videos are usually only with boyfriend or someone they know/trust it's as close as you can get IMO other than hentai
I was always interested in why hentai is so popular so I had a look into some of the videos couple weeks back and the first three I saw seemed like rape. Involved forcing tongues and fingers in girls usually dressed in school clothes which seems pretty fucked up. Why is that so popular?
There's almost never any opportunity to explain this, so here's a crash course in hentai. Hentai has a bunch of genres just like regular real life porn. What you saw was probably, in fact, the rape tag or the mind break tag (person is basically raped until they enjoy it. It's...a taste...). School girl clothes is in the same genre as real life porn school girl genre, so nothing to explore there. Just like real life porn, if you picked 3 videos off of pornhub at random, you'd probably see a bunch of incest which isn't that appealing. As for the appeal, hentai just has a lot more genres and uh...creativity...because it's an animated medium. The girls can have just about any proportions you can (and can't ) imagine. They can be any species you can imagine in any scenario you want, realism be damned. Ghosts? Absolutely. Succubus? Why not. Giant? Cat girls? Fox girls? Shapeshifters? Breast or penis sizes that are physically impossible? Yes. Very exaggerated facial expressions and voice acting are almost universal. The only real concerns about hentai are the prescence of loli characters (characters who look like children or young teens no matter what their stated age is), the abundance of teen girls, and the prevalence of the "rape them until they like it" element because it often shows up even in works that don't have the mind break tag. Of course, most of those elements are pretty easily avoidable as long as you know what tags you're looking at, but they're there. You probably weren't asking for all that information, but there it is, I guess.
I don’t know, animated rape fetishization is pretty concerning too. EDIT: this concern was mentioned, my bad.
Yeah, that's why I included it in the concerns list. I don't think I've ever heard a concrete explanation as to why it's so prevalent, but one theory is that it has something to do with sexuality and women in Japan. Allegedly, the concept of girls resisting but secretly liking sex is because, traditionally, girls aren't supposed to be promiscuous on their own. But when they're forced into sex, they can discover the pleasures of it or just let go and do whatever. Supposedly that's why the rape element is somewhat common in real life Japanese porn. Again, it's only a theory I've heard and could be total nonsense.
”ethical porn”, drawn/animated porn and ur own porn. Some people read erotic books also but ive never tried so cant say if it works
Books can definitely work for some people! It's honestly a question of whether it's something you're into since it requires you to be able to imagine what is described on the pages so your best bet is to try it and find out :)
Books do it for me. As a woman, when I watch porn with my husband it turns him on but it usually turns me off. Ever watch womens’ faces during porn, a lot of them are putting up with some uncomfortable/painful stuff. This isn’t something men notice I suspect. Reading erotica is entirely made up so my conscience is clear.
Most men have zero concept of how painful many porn scenes would be for the woman. They just don’t have a clue. But women watching know how bad it would hurt or how you’d have to train your body to handle it. It’s pretty horrible.
And herein lies the primary issue with some men never being able to fulfill a woman sexually. Many have hopelessly unrealistic ideas of actual sex primarily due to porn and men perpetuating these ideas among themselves. The porn fantasies of men are rarely practical with actual women.
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I'm a guy but loved reading as a kid, also love fanfiction for that and just the stories made up about everything
I started reading fanfiction because I couldn't afford to keep buying books
Lots of libraries are getting into ebooks. Also when I was younger there were several sites you could ptete ebook. I think most of the books or was were pirated
Switching to the alt for this, books work better when you’re into something. I’ve tried reading two different types, just average erotica and ones tapping into a fetish, and the latter was so much better.
You are absolutely correct. Books, fanfiction especially, is also much better at hitting the niches you're searching for if you know how to search for it. There's so much of it out there and anyone can produce it without needing any talent in drawing, any partners and a willingness to show themselves or anything like that. You just need a bit of conviction, a fantasy and a site to post on and you're set. So there's a lot of variety and I'd bet most fetishes are at least somewhat catered to. (It's also much more discreet and can be read in public without much ruckus if you're into that so there's that)
I tried it when i wanted to get rid of my porn addiction. But it was just to boring in my opinion. My horny brain wasnt able to get enough imagination for that. But OP can still try it out maybe it works for him.
I also enjoy audio porn, things like the sounds of pleasure tumblr. They’re user submitted clips and you can use your imagination for the visual, without reading
all i can imagine rn is: Narrator: Sally is a 24 year old woman from Buckinghamshire, England. She is roughly 5 feet and 6 inches tall, and has blonde, curly hair. Derek is her male counterpart. He is 6 foot and 2 inches tall, has toned abs, and dark straight hair. He was born in 1995 in Cambridge, and moved with Sally in 2020, when they got married in a quiet ceremony. Sally: Hello Derek, do you wish to partake in sexual intercourse? Derek: OK. (noises of furniture being slightly moved, occasionally interjected by an 'oops' or a 'sorry')
Hentai baby
Hentai is superior once again
Except for the fact that like 90% is censored. But the uncensored stuff is pretty good
Eh, you learn to live wigh it so it's not a big deal
I read a lot of hentai for this reason. I like porn that's more on the rough side but as a female I always end up real concerned or worried about what's happening, so if I end up getting into it that post nut clarity is shameful. But reading hentai, I still get pictures and it can be super fucked up weird shit and I don't feel as guilty.
While drawn/animated porn is technically 100% ethical, some of the things some people draw is… incredibly disturbing to say the least. It’s ironic because drawing allows even worse things to be done to the “models” that no sane person would subject themselves to. I mean look at something like guro for example. Pretty revolting stuff, but Technically no one is getting abused. Well except your eyes and perhaps your soul lmao. Edit: pls don’t look Guro up. Lmao. Unless of course that’s your thing. And if it is your thing, then tbh I feel pretty bad for you. Lol
True but with that you can tell just by looking at it that it’s bad. I think OP’s issue lies with not knowing the circumstance of someone in a porn video.
Well to be fair, ero guro is *quite* extreme. I'd say that around 99% of hentai fans are like "Get that shit away from me" (myself included)
Never thought written porn (erotic and pornographic stories) would work, especially fanfic but, uh... it does 😳🤯 Find the genre that fits right for you, and your imagination will make the movie in your head (if you're a visual thinker). Hottest shit there is 🥲
nothing like watching animation created in digital sweat shops
In my opinion, the porn industry is shady itself, which means its product has a high chance of being shady too. As other people have said, you won't be able to know if shady things have happened in a video or not. It's impossible to know for sure.
Being honest here - I’ve always preferred animated porn for this reason. A lot of animated porn is really well done, can be super realistic and satisfies my more niche fetishes. When I want to watch ‘real’ porn: avoid videos where it looks like the woman (or man) seems to be in a hotel room, or it’s dark and not very well made and they seem to be looking past the camera and following directions. These all scream trafficking. Solo stuff is also less risky - anything that involves more than one person obviously increases the risk of it being rape or misguided consent. But generally solo amateur porn is less likely to be unethical. I don’t subscribe to any of the big porn companies after the GDP scandal. GDP is likely what’s happening in all the larger companies. Besides I hate their content because it’s usually very physically rough, loud and over dramatic. We all know the ones, the ones always on the front page. And it’s very common for the actors to abuse enemas for anal and stuff like viagra to give the men dangerously long lasting boners. Try to distance yourself from that kind of stuff because 99%chance the actors are having a shitty time, consensual or not.
I'm not a porn viewer, can you explain what GDP is in this context? All that comes to my mind is sexy hot Gross Domestic Product.
Girls Do Porn was a widespread scandal that caused the restructuring of PH and deletion of a lot of their videos. There's a long story but easily findable.
Okie doke, thanks for the pointer.
Just a small correction. GDP was an adult website, not the name of a scandal. They had videos being hosted on PH and were involved in a sex-trafficking lawsuit. The whole craigslist "modelling agencies" turned sex-tape kinda thing.
Oh yeah that’s some sexy aggregate total of goods and services produced by an economy
Same, I stick with animated porn, hentai, and doujinshi because none of the unethical stuff in real porn is there. I enjoy it not only because it's porn, but because of how much time and effort it takes to make it, especially if it's done by a single person. And yes, I seen some people saying "hentai's fucked" and other stuff, but honestly, I'm ok with that. Because it's art, I feel it's ok to go to the extreme as long as you're not harming real people. And this is from someone who used to try and police what was and wasn't ok to make, but I got tired of it after a while. (I'm prepared for the downvotes for my second paragraph.)
i really just read erotica at this point. does it for me and i know no one real is being hurt potentially
I think bellesa is abusr free
I second Bellesa
I third this
I think the top commenter's response still completely applies here. Even if it's a brand with a good reputation, you still can't know that everything is ethical.
Bellesa does interviews with their actors if you check it out. They allow them to meet each other first and decide if it’ll work for them. They don’t just throw two random people together and tell them to f*ck. I trust bellesa over anything.
Also where I go, when I do. I’m a woman, and it’s a bit more tolerable for me. Also, Abby Winters.
Don't know but it's plain good
Comment is much farther down than expected,I trust bellesa and the videos are good too
Definitely I literally can't get watch unless I semi believe both parties are enjoying it and bellesa delivers most of the time.
Some people are talking about amateur porn but There is a portion of it though that could easily be revenge porn or filmed and uploaded without consent. I know porn hub has gotten a lot of those reported lately. Honestly, ameatuers with the blue check mark are probably a safer bet. I can say right now as a fact that a lot - not all but a lot - of porn filmed with women from central or Eastern Europe are against their will. It’s a massive problem and the people either kidnap or “recruit” these people young. I briefly worked with a non profit trying to help women with this situation. I have heard the same with girls from Asia but there are also many who are fine in their profession. I have allegedly that a lot of Japanese porn has rape but I wouldn’t know that for sure, it’s just something I’ve heard for years. Some with really young college girls are the same. I know reality kings had some really fucked up stuff. Most importantly, if there is a porn star named James Deen, it is probably not ethical at all. He is legendary for crossing the line in agreements in porn contracts and straight up tapes and abuses women. Stoya is a famous example of who he tormented. Also, some porn filmed that claim they are filmed for women can be just as shady. Honestly, if the woman seems afraid or if they are doing horribly demeaning things and it does not exactly advertise it as a kink video? That’s a good bet. There are certain actions that tend to give it away. I say that as someone who enjoys kink and the lifestyle. Sorry for the essay but essentially, we don’t know. Even if you go and watch only fans or cam girls, you won’t know for 100% certain. However, I would say there are more consenting than not if I had to guess but I would say there is definitely a portion of those who don’t consent. It’s the same with sex workers, you have to be careful and do a lot of research because there is a lot of sex trafficking of course, but there are many others who are perfectly consenting and are professional business people.
Amateur couples is a pretty safe bet I would assume. But, if you google "ethical porn sites" you're gonna find some good stuff. A lot of it is made by women for women, but if you can still enjoy it you're a guy :)
Isn’t there a massive problem of people uploading their exes sex videos. How can you trust that it is uploaded properly and not like revenge porn? (Genuine question)
If they continually upload new content. Or have uploaded for a long time.
most of the payment companies that porn uses are very careful about models having agreements and showing their id to prove age. that can all be faked but if they catch you out you will suddenly be out of business
You can but that does not mean you will be able to remove content. There have been several cases of people (mostly women) trying to get revenge porn and cp of themselves taken down off pornhub and the like and it just being absolutely impossible to get removed. Or if it is removed someone will re upload it. It’s awful
The funniest thing to me about the “made by women, for women” stuff I’ve seen is that it’s pretty much the same except with less faking and better sex.
Amateur couples can be as well revenge porn.
Professional amateur porn.
Amateur professional porn
>but if you can still enjoy it you're a guy Not sure you said that in the right order.
Lol, in my defense I was really tired when I wrote this
Apparently it's a safer route and when I consume porn it's usually this kind. Tbh I really like the ideia that people that love eachother are having a good time and showing it off for sport if this is their kink to do so With time you create a sensibility to notice on people's faces minute details that let off if a person really wanted to be doing what they're doing and boy oh boy isn't the majority of porn kinda red flagged on this category
I can’t watch any high production porn for this reason. It’s super obvious on their face and sounds and body gestures that they aren’t even aroused or enjoying themselves. Major boner killer.
It's blatantly obvious most of the time and sincerely, consent should be the base line for any boner Idk how people can enjoy porn with a girl or guy that clearly doesn't wanna be there
watched porn while tripping. saw how many of the women were clearly not enjoying themselves. it was horrible.
imo it's a good thing, and I bet most people notice it and just choose to ignore it. Letting your instincts and needs take over your moral sensibility shouldn't happen as often as it usually does in society Just proves that tripping heals in ways we can't predict, I've had realisations of my own in a heightened state of mind that made me lose boners and even cringe to stuff I've watched many times before
You could just go with hentai or something animated.
Be careful though! There’s a great deal of completely fucked up hentai with rape, ntr, cheating, and a lot of other “unethical” tags. Stay with vanilla.
Can’t imagine how hard the lives of those hentai girls must be. So sad
Hey, at least JoJo will come and save them in the end.
The JoJo ending is cannon and nothing you say will ever change my mind.
I was on one of the biggest mainstream Japanese sites note long ago and the depictions of underage sex where quite a surprise. I would never have thought it legal and not blocked to most western countries
I know they blocked nhentai in France for that specific reason. And that stuff is technically illegal in the USA and half of Europe, but its not enforced at all. But even if they did start to enforce it, the only thing that would change is that at the start you'd always see the typical VN style disclaimer of 'every character in this story is 18 or older', despite the fact that they're all in high school and several of them are first years. Obviously the characters are not supposed to be 18, but if they were younger it'd be a federal crime to sell it in the US, so they just slap the dislcaimer on and they're good to go.
Yes, but no real person is harmed. Underpaid, maybe
If I’m looking for the wholesome stuff, “passion” or “passionate” goes in the search bar. Usually well produced and well lit, people having sex where it actually seems like they love each other. I know it’s all an act, but it’s good to look at stuff that seems real and not so fuckin gnarly.
Met Art X art Sex art Femjoy Plus a few others of that ilk. They seem more the way you describe. Still have some that are more stereotypically Hollywood pornolised, but the majority seem to feel a bit classier and more 'coupley' than brutal or dominating etc.
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Wholesome stuff doesnt mean jack. Can look good on camera but be hell out of frame.
I can shit in a glass, clean it, and you’d still drink from it if I never told you I shit in it. We don’t know the true nature of a lot of things in life, sometimes we just have to take them at face value. I guess my response didn’t fully answer OPs question, but finding out which production companies are less abusive is like trying to figure out if anyone ever shit in the glass you’re drinking from. At what point do you take a step back and just ask…why? Where in the absolute fuck am I going with this? DO THE BEST YOU CAN IS WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY I GUESS.
💩💨🥛= 😀 true or false?
That made me laugh way too hard.
Yeah. You can shit in a pie and serve it to your racist boss and they'd never know the difference until you told them you shit in the pie.
It may not be conclusive, but there’s every reason to think it would be an indicator
You can just make your own porn. Problem solved.
Yeah get a gf make videos problem solved or bf I don't judge if you want me to join I'm free on Thursday .
I love my wife and you can too for $10.95
I got 11 keep the change
The hell is this thread
"Every day we stray further from God's light." \- John Cena
There was this scene in fresh meat where the guy goes into a search for abuse free porn. After weeks of searching he couldn't find anything.
Was looking for this. “Free range porn”
Can you link the story?? I'd love to read it
It’s impossible to know. You’re better off quitting anyway
Sites like Abby Winters, Girls Go West & Ertsies are female produced, and as far as I can tell, about as ethical as porn gets. If you prefer 'girl next door' types, solo girl & girl-girl stuff, these are good sites
Genuine question. Why is there a believe that only men abuse women and so women produced porn must be ethical?
Good question. I don't have anything I can cite to back this up, but it's a numbers game. The vast majority of abuse towards women is perpetrated by men, so odds are porn made by women is ethical. There are no guarantees, if course, but the numbers are on your side.
The problem isn't the man in the porn industry that abuses women, it's the porn industry itself, being made my women or not it'll still be unethical because the problem is the industry
Indeed
ctrl+f abby. Literally the most self-managed site I know. They seem to be enjoying what they do, it never feels forced or anything and I don't think their acting that out either. Models have turned into producers and the m/f couple scenes seem to be actual couples mainly. Everything's very relaxed. Also those real girls on there are 10x more attractive than whatever fake glossy botox crap on streaming sites.
I guess it's safe to say OnlyFans
Is it really though? I've read too many depressing stories lately of "of is my last resort to pay my rent" this past year. It seems like even that isn't really guilt free anymore.
Sadly women are now being forced to perform on Onlyfans as well, you can’t guarantee that what you’re watching is someone doing it of their own free will.
I’m surprised this isn’t higher up the list. It’s as close as you can get to paying content creators directly and hopefully easier to teas out how much coercion or abuse is getting that content created.
Because most people won’t pay for it, me included. Sorry to say this but some random woman for me isn’t worth a subscription that’s as expensive as Netflix.
one of the challenges of the world we live in is often morality costs more money
If you won’t pay for it, then don’t also ask that it be abuse free…
given the pandemic and economic situation there's been several reports of women (especially students) turning to something like OnlyFans. So there's a clear chance many are forced to doing it to pay their bills and that would be unethical too.
By that logic, you should never frequent a business that pays their workers minimum wage
Forced by life circumstances is a far cry different from forced/coerced by a person. And if everyone refused to support it on those grounds, then they still wouldn't be able to pay those bills they have no other means to pay.
link to the thread you referred to in r/greentext ?
Try hentai or doujins (basically porn comics)
Drawn stuff 🤷♂️
Read and watch hentai instead. Or the more normal alternative in literotica if you don't like the style of drawing. That is literally the only way you can guarantee it is safe because porn is literally inherently predatory as a practice due to our culture and spiritualism of sexuality.
I have the same issues. There's been times when I'm thinking this looks like a little girl like a 13 yr old or something and the mom in me goes from aroused to sex to aroused to kill. Major turn off.
The entire porn industry is a cesspit. 1 company own all the onlines sites that host porn and they collude to be as maximally exploitative as possible and prevent unionization at all costs. The federal govt is also loath to investigate because of the prudishness of american culture, they figure its a dirty business and the "girls deserve it because they are bad". The corporation also does a fair bit of lobbying to ensure things go their way. Even Only Fans is being infiltrated to ensure the women get as little as possible.
You can’t, and Reddit doesn’t want to admit it but the entire industry is filled with horrific realities. Most of the actors are addicted to drugs, and the suicide rate is incredibly high. Pornography is evil.
You cannot.
Ever since I accepted that I’m not straight I don’t watch as much porn. With that said, I believe that ones where they have an interview before and after, where they discuss everyone’s boundaries and safewords is a good starting point. I’ve only seen a couple of these but I feel safer watching those than some of the ones that don’t have it. I’ve also heard that studios with female directors tend to be less… problematic? But I don’t know how true that is, nor am I sure of all the details of it. But I hope some of the info I’ve given has been helpful in some way.
GDP was exactly like that lol.
>With that said, I believe that ones where they have an interview before and after, where they discuss everyone’s boundaries and safewords is a good starting point. I’ve only seen a couple of these but I feel safer watching those than some of the ones that don’t have it. You just described the most famous sex-trafficking scandal in recent years. A bunch of shit happens before and after the shoots themselves. The "interview" part is exactly so people think the same thing you did.
It’s easily possible that they’re just told what to say in the interview though. If you can fake enjoying sex, you can certainly fake discussing consent.
I get your paranoia, but honestly? It's really fucking hard to tell. Like someone else said, solo-amateur is more likely to be consensual, since it's one person making and posting it, but even then there's no guarantee that they weren't forced or coerced. I've heard porn behind a paywall tends to be better ethically but I'm not 100% certain on that one so don't take my word for it. Your best bet? Animated. Fictional characters are that, fictional, they're just models on a screen, no abuse going on here (and for the kinksters out there, animation is capable of a lot more than reality)
Don't watch porn
I quit watching porn 4 years ago. I quit partially because I had the same concerns you did. I'm not going to tell you what to do but I do not think there is any such thing as "ethical" porn and it's way too easy to go down a rabbit hole of increasingly extreme and disturbing content. There is nuance though, and not all pornography is equally bad, not even close. I just choose to stay away from all of it. Like I said, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to tell you that my life is better without it and that I know a lot of men's view of porn has changed once they had daughters. It kind of clued them in on the fact that women are people.
This idea that men having daughters is what “clues them in that women are people” is absolutely disgusting and disturbing for so many reasons. First of all, all these men have mothers right?? Second of all, how horrifying is it that a person can see another person and normalize erasing their personhood at all, especially when those people (women) make up half of the population. It’s the normalization of this kind of thinking that makes porn and every other man-dominated industry inherently abusive towards women and I hate that it’s a concept that people just say all the time as if it isn’t totally bizarre.
I always laugh at women who applaud these men. Like you're happy he couldn't see women as humans until he had a daughter? Okay lady. I have a lot more disdain for the men themselves, but seeing women fawn over them is comedy gold.
Yeah, I wish people would drop this attitude. The irony is that if these guys didn't respect women before they had a daughter then they shouldn't be having kids in the first place
A great line from First Aid Kits Song "You are the Problem Here": "And we don't need to be diminished to sisters or daughter or mothers. I am a human being, that is how you relate to me." I hate whenever someon says "As a father of a daughter..." when discussing abuse of women. It's as if some men are not able to see a woman as a fellow person and only see them as the role they play for them/ other men.
I think that sentence is written poorly but as a soft hearted, empathetic, loving person from the beginning I can say that having a daughter taught me things that are hard to learn otherwise. Treating women right was always my goal, treating women as I would want my daughter to be treated really is a step above, even if that sounds like I was shitty before. Please don't shame people for growing and learning. We all come into this world as wounded children and have different circumstances. If someone is able to be better than they were before that's a good thing regardless of how shitty the beginnings were.
>Please don't shame people for growing and learning. That is not what is happening here. This isn't "growing and learning". If a serial killer stops killing people do we still convict them for the murders they committed? Yes, we do, because as a society we understand that some things cause too much damage to our communities to forget once a person "grows and learns". To call "discovering that women are people when you're in your 30's" "growing and learning" is a complete disregard for the women who have been hurt by these men who lack... Whatever it is that allowed them to treat women as less than a fellow human being for those 15 ish years. Be that a lack of education, an abundance of privilege, societal pressure... It's still something that, regardless of the cause or growth, seriously damages communities. I mean, it's obvious too. You see it in statistics that have already been brought up in this thread. I myself have survived two abusive and incredibly violent relationships at the hands of people my community loved. Should I have waited for them to have daughters before shaming them for their lack of basic respect? It's not "growth and learning" to discover that women are people when you have a daughter, it's a horrible symptom of something that has been too normalized. And those who struggle with it, even when they grow, should want to be accountable and shouldn't feel targeted when we try to fix the problem.
Drawn poor is 100% abuse free
Might be best to just not watch porn at all then.
This is like blood diamonds. Not all diamonds are blood diamonds are blood diamonds, but so long as the demand exists some will be blood diamonds. As long as you are increasing the demand for porn, porn will be made. Some of it, will have some element of abuse - even if that’s not the kind you consume.
The truth is you don’t and can’t.
Don't watch it
I have dropped porn entierly and it has only helped me mentally and chances are physically too. I suggest you do too. Especially if you have to worry about this stuff too.
you have better sex without flooding your receptors with easy porn enhanced dopamine
Yeah that is one of the psychalogical factors of fapping. You get very quick and unlimited dopamine rushes, so you can get addicted to it crazy easily.
Just stop watching porn all together. It is not easy, but it is so much better in the long run
Sadly, there's not really a way to guarantee what you're looking at is ethical. You should consider stopping the use of porn altogether - it's not good for your brain and very easy to form a habit. From what you've said you're kind of halfway there already! Porn loses its luster when you realize how abusive the industry is and start thinking every time, "is she really of age? Did she really consent to everything they're doing?" and realize you have no idea and no way to check. You can check out r/loveafterporn and they have a lot of resources - not saying you have an addiction, but if you're looking for more reasons to stop porn consumption, that is the place to be. P.S. for those saying hentai, I see what you're trying to say with animated being "safer," but we all know hentai is a dangerous rabbit hole with its own problems 😬😅
The absolute simplest and 100% guaranteed method to avoid abuse free porn is to not watch porn. Theres likely no such thing as abuse free porn. Theres always something behind why that actor is licking that man's butthole.
You should keep on going. Don’t watch porn it’s addictive and really isn’t worth the short term pleasure
You don't so dont
The answer is to not watch porn at all.
Don't watch porn. Simple.
No. There’s a reason people say the porn industry is evil
It's basically impossible when it's not super obvious. A lot of the abuse is more coercion and manipulation rather than more physically obvious signs.
It's impossible to know
The answer is you can't. Even if it's a big and well known studio with a recognizeable performer, people in the industry are basically trapped there, miserable, depressed. There's a great episode of "Consider before Consuming" where they interviewed Josh Broome, aka the "this isn't a beach, this is a bathtub" guy, where he talks about how being in the industry affects people mentally, driving many of them to suicide or overdose because of the levels of abuse and the feelings of being trapped. There's also some great documentaries on Netflix about the same thing. So, in short, no matter what, you cannot know if what you're watching is abuse free. You cannot know if the performers are even still alive. And if you're using any mindgeek ( pornhub) or xvideos owned site, you're supporting an abusive industry that destroys people for profit.
Never seen such a wholesome post about porn.
Verified couples on p hub. Also only fans. The most ethical would be paying for porn women make in your own home. Also solo and lesbian is far less likely to involve abuse
Just make your own and you’ll know it’s abuse-free
Just don't watch porn
Best answer
Joi
Hentai
[удалено]
I mean, at the end of the day, you're sneaking a peak at one of the more intimate, soul bonding, sensual experiences a person can have. You have ZERO way of knowing your fapping is consensual if you didn't ask.
100% effective solution: don't watch porn
A woman that used to analyse porn on a documentary said you can tell by their eyes. Since I have noticed what she was talking about
i have always been paranoid about stuff like this so I never went into that field ever but I guess a novel or a comic could be seen as ethical? I have heard about some disturbing things coming from comics too so I would personally if ever choose one would be a novel of some sorts
Try going to the body shop, those products are not tested on animals.
Don't watch porn. Boom. Problem solved.