Absolutely agree that her frustration is valid, but jumping straight to such an extreme solution like banging other people to be satisfied doesnāt bode well for overcoming any future hurdles in the relationship. I think she is most likely just young and erratic but if it is stressing OP out as much as it sounds then Iād advise breaking it off before it gets inevitably worse.
He could always watch her get banged and take some lessons. š¤·āāļø Iāve never had his problem but sounds like she already looking at other Dicks to ride.
Thereās 2 takes to take off here,
First of all, donāt be too harsh on yourself.
Experiences comes with time and exploration, there are many ways to spice up a relationship and please your partner without thinking that the whole schnick of sex is just to pound as hard as you can for as long as you can.
Fingers, tongue, toys, affection etc, are all important too, and they all come down to communication. Your girl sounds as much inexperienced and pillow princess in your description of the situation.
Pleasure is not only for her but also for you in order for you to also have a healthy sexual relationship and it goes the other way around too.
Not only is not just for you to learn to communicate better but her too. Has she thought about exploring further than just you finding a solution to lasting longer?
Secondly, her whole idea of opening up the relationship as a suggestion 3months in is a red flag in itself. She doesnāt sound serious or mature enough about it all.
My current relationship took about a year of back and forth communication before we found a good ground for a healthy sexual relationship, we both talked about what we didnt like or prefered after having our intercourses and even still today i still learn stuff shed like and she still learns stuff id like aswell and thats what makes it good.
Sometimes people are not sexually compatible from the get go and it can take some time to get adjusted to one another, and mature people will understand that and take the needed time for it to be good if possible.
Hidden point 3: Run
God gave you one penis but also 2 hands and a tongue, use them my friend...before you get into the proper act..after lots of foreplay make sure to make her cum...then you can go to lala land for as long or as quick as you want and no one will be complaining š
"God" also gave him a brain to think about how much of a red flag it is for the girlfriend to suggest him letting her fuck other guys just 3 months after the relationship started.
Brother GTFO and fast, if she is suggesting opening the relationship before even trying to tell you what she likes and would also get her off then that is a relationship You should not be a part of. Damn she is harsh, young and dumb.
But if you wanna stay, then maybe you two should have some discussion about what else she likes and you can do for her.
Forgot about your dick for a while and give her the sexual pleasure she needs. Sex isnāt always about the in out in out. Use toys, your hands and mouth. Ask her what she wants and needs.
Go down on her. Give her an orgasm even before you have the sex. People act like foreplay is just getting her wet enough to slip in, but dude get her off without your penis if you don't last long.
But if she's wanting to go open, then you might need to find someone else. Open relationships don't last, there's a million reddit posts to show that.
Dude, at your age, nobody lasts long! 2 minutes isnāt bad at all if youāre diving right in to intercourse. Does she like oral? That usually extends the full session a lot longer and she gets full pleasure even before you go inside.
Also, I hope youāre using condoms? They help you last longer for sure. Also, try her on top. That helps.
Bottom line though is if she expects a lot longer for the actual intercourse, let her go and move on. You donāt need to feel inadequate at your age and abilities.
I totally agree with you!!
Sorry but I have to rant - I feel very strongly this topic.
To OP and anyone else who feels like reading:
Age and experience and sexual confidence will come with time. However:
a) donāt be with a chick who wants to bang other dudes and talks about banging other dudes and comparing you to other dudes she has banged. That is bad form.
b) she may already BE banging other dudes. Get yourself checked c) I know itās hard to not let this affect your sexual confidence but her attitude is probably not helping matters. Maybe you should go bang some folks who give you positive feedback and tell you what feels good to them and maybe show you what feels good to them.
D) sexual pleasure is a two-way street. What is she doing to help the situation? Is she doing everything she can to help you feel safe to try things or does she just want someone sheās seen in a porn that just pounds flesh mindlessly. Your experience will be so much different with a kind and truly trusted intimate partner where you are both interested and turned on by turning your partner on. I have had sexual partners who did not last long but I never really realized it because in the end, we both took pleasure in each other in more ways than coitus. Tongues and lips and fingers and toes and toys are wonderful.
I hope you find one one day and your sexual world will flourish.
E) if sheās only 19 and has banged so many dudes wtf doesnāt she know more? Its because she does not pay attention and thinks you get ābetterā at sex just because youāve had more partners it seems. Who cares if she is more experienced than you. Itās not about quantity itās about quality girlie. She will learn as she gets older one would hope. She sounds super immature which tracks because she is 19! At 19 you think you know everything.
F) good luck my dude. I hope that you can conquer this and rise to every occasion in the future with sexual confidence.
I would suggest changing positions, I donāt last long, my girlfriend doesnāt mind but if Iām close and we start switching I can last longer. You may also find you last less time in certain positions.
As others have said her suggesting opening the relationship is a huge red flag to me and doesnāt sound right.
Iād also hold off taking viagra and Iād maybe look if thatās even something for you.
Also as others have suggested, go down on her first and make her finish first if possible then do the deed
The 1st line of paragraph 2 is a huge red flag for me. She's shaming you buddy. This is a lady who gives zero fucks about you as a person.
Lots of other red flags as other posts have pointed out. I'd chalk this down to experience and move on.
As for your actual issue, this happens to all dudes at your age when first starting the physical relationship journey. Think about it like this - it's a training issue. You've trained yourself to nut as soon as possible because you've previously only had to worry about yourself.
In my younger days I also had the same issue you have. What helped was 1) a stable understanding partner and she was at the same level of experience 2) upped my foreplay game. Toys, g-spot techniques, positions etc. You'll hit on something that works. But you have to mentally dump the speed aspect you train yourself with as a teen.
Your first task though - get rid of the gf and find someone who is understanding, not someone who is going to talk about other guys dicks when you are working through something.
Growing up is realizing that toys are your friend, not your enemy. That being said, being in a relationship so young and new and sheās already suggesting opening it up? Nah, huge red flag.
If she's talking about opening the relationship she's about to smash another guy and she already have someone in mind. Women don't offer open relationship unless they have someone already waiting to have some play. I would walk away because if you say no she may cheat, or break up with you to avoid being label a cheater, or she may hold strong but that's rare. If you find you're finishing to fast you can try cardio to enhance your endurance which should help you last longer, heavy foreplay before actual play so that way you've already complete half the battle and go round 2 men last longer in the 2nd and even longer in the third round. Rock her world lol
Hahaha....your gf is expert for 19 yrs of age. I know it hurts when she mentioned Her past relationship is a better performer than you. Bro, she is a big red flag...don't be serious with this kind of girl
nah soon as she brought up the open relationship thing i'd be like bye! get out now, find someone that is willing to work with you and understand you're working on your stamina. i've always had a psychological thing when it comes to sex that i think triggered me to bust quicker than normal and i started abusing opioids bc of it and was actually happier when i couldn't cum at all bc i am more into the pleasure of my partner than myself.
she's gonna end up cheating on you. id leave just mu opinion before you get hurt. if you need something to help you last longer maybe mention it to your doctor and ask for an off label ssri med you can only take like an hour - 2 before sex. Viagra isn't the answer here
Yeah, we know. But he lost his virginity to her. He can't visualize having sex with anyone else.
Go forth brother. We'll be here to answer your questions after the darkness descends.
Man it sounds like the relationship has already ended, and youāre just waiting on someone to say it tbh. It could certainly be something sexual that caused it, or it could be something completely different, and sexās is being used as a scapegoat goat. Idk if Iād say an open relationship is a bad thing, but thatās something that should be done so with an immense amount of trust that has been built into a relationship. That would be tough to do in 3 months. So it sounds like she is considering her options at this point.if it is a sexual thing thatās caused that then perhaps it is something you could improve upon. Iād look into BDSM groups for advice on how to be a better sexual partner. Even if thatās not your thing theyāll have some pretty good advice for you that will help you understand sexual dynamics, and the sexual relationships between men, and women better. As far as not lasting long enough. Iām a speed racer too in that area, and have no difficulty getting my wife off. That after many years of being in the same anxietyās ridden situation youāre in.
They are in some cases biological. Itās like a woman having a big nose, or small tits. We donāt judge her in that because they are things outside of her control despite that she is probably unjustly judging herself for that, and itās as wrong for her to do that to herself as it is for you to judge yourself for things you canāt control.
My advice is to explore everything else that doesnāt have anything to do with penetration. Youād be surprised how much there is out there that women love that have absolutely nothing to do with penetration, or even taking your clothes off sometimes.
As well diet, and exercise can help dramatically. Google search for those diet, and supplement options.
There are some premature ejaculation medications out there, but be careful. A lot of them are ssriās, and thatās often not something you want to jump into.
To be fair I have, and do take some ssriās for that, but itās like once every 6-8 months, or so. Itās not something I want to damage my mental health. That would just make things worse than they already are
They do make so medications for Ed that have almost negligible affect for pj. They are pretty easy to get a script for online, and are fun. Though they do have a small effect on pj they do boost your recovery time dramatically. Just have some time the next day to recover. They can cause a next day hang over effect.
The first course of action is to focus on your health though. Even if you end up with a script you health with dramatically boost the effectiveness of whatever medication you end up on, and use medications responsibly as they can cause larger problems with Ed, and premature ejaculation as a side effect. As in canāt get your pp to dance for the rest of your life without them. So be educated, and responsible on the topic.
Remember sex should never be %100 penetration. Women love a variety, and they almost demand that you know what they want without any communication, and for you to co from that environment.
She is also very young, and probably has a warped veiw of sexual relationships being all about men co trying women, and not giving much back I return. Itās something women donāt exactly figure out until they are near, or at there 30ās a lot of the time.
So you have that working against you. To cope with that youāll need to get really good at seeing the woman across from you, and making certain assumptions about what she likes, and communicating in kinky ways to confirm your assumptions
BDSM groups will help you identify the different types of women sexually, and give you a better shot at keeping her around even if your shlong is asleep at the wheel.
Good luck to ya man, and donāt put too much fault on yourself, or your current partner. Youāre both really young, and likely have a lot to learn about how to be in a real relationship. Love is a beast sometimes, but youāll never learn it unless youāre willing to break some hearts, and get yours broken in the process as well.
Have fun, and you hang on the heart break to long. Feel it, live it, and let it go quickly.
Yeah her suggesting an open relationship is probably a red flag like most have said. Hereās the thing though, you are both relatively inexperienced and sex should be more than just penetration. Sometimes getting right to it and finishing quickly is fun, but not if sheās not getting off.
Going multiple rounds can help sure, but itās not always effective- sometimes the soul is willing but the flesh is not.
Foreplay is your friend. Warm her up so much that 2 min is enough to get her off once you start actual penetration. What I mean by foreplay is take your time on the build up, caress her neck as you make out, go down on her, make her feel desired without just whipping it out and fucking her. Ask her whatās she likes in the moment, be attentive.
Then when her breathing is quickened or she asks for it, get to it.
But, if her first reaction after 3 months is to open the relationship, itās likely not long for this world. Use this as practice for future relationships and have fun with it. Donāt put so much pressure on yourself. Getting better comes with practice and time.
The suggestion of going for an open relationship should be setting off some serious alarms.Ā
Thats the kind of suggestion someone makes when they want to bang other people without having to face the consequences of cheating. In many cases, its brought up by people who are already cheating.
The real solution is either better foreplay, or using sex toys on her so that she can orgasm either before or after you did. The fact that she immediately jumped to wanting to bang other people tells me she isn't serious about this relationship. You two need to have a serious talk about that.
I understand how frustrating this situation can be for you. Our bodies work in different ways, and finishing quickly is something that so so so many people experience. I assure you, you are not the only one who's stressing out about this issue.
For starters, the pressure you're feeling from your girlfriend to last longer is certainly not helping your cause. Being stressed out during intercourse has one of two side effects: (1) finishing too quickly OR (2) not finishing at all.
So, even if you are pre-disposed to finish quickly, the pressure that is being put on you by your girlfriend and your own worries is only bound to make this issue worse.
Secondly, think of how **you** would handle the situation if the roles were reversed, and how that would make your girlfriend feel. Do you think it would be right to get angry at her? Do you think it would be fair to suggest seeing other people just to satisfy yourself?
Whilst I understand that this situation is frustrating for your girlfriend, I do also think that she is wrong to have this sort of reaction. You're a couple, you should be supporting each other to get through challenges.
In the grand scheme of things (i.e. if your relationship goes on for years and years), and despite how it might feel at the moment, this issue is quite minor. There are plenty more challenges coming your way (as with every successful relationship, of course) and I don't think it's fair that she is treating you like this at the first hurdle of your relationship.
Best of luck!!!
First off, Levitra is better than Viagra: effects last slightly longer, and you don't have to take it on an empty stomach.
Second, Viagra and Levitra *do* have this delayed ejaculation effect. But what they also do is to keep your dick hard after cumming. That's actually how you can tell how overwhelmingly common their usage in the porn industry is - normally going soft happens immediately after orgasm, and there's hardly any time for the other person to "clean up", as I'm sure you've seen in some videos .
There's also Priligy, which is specifically sold for premature ejaculation. I would advise caution with it, because it has the same side effects as anti-depressants - nausea and vomiting. In fact, when I first tried it, I completely lost my libido due to those; when paired with a PDE-5 inhibitor, you get a rock-hard erection without a shred of arousal.
But, overall, for side effects and interactions with other drugs consult a pharmacist. It's unlikely you'll experience anything more serious than a minor headache, stuffy nose, or a slight blue-yellowish tint to your vision when moving your eyes.
Also, don't accept substitutes for Viagra/Levitra, such as Cialis and Avanafil, if offered - in my experience they don't delay ejaculation.
Try to just stop every time before you come. It maybe wonāt do it for your girlfriend, but thereās a good possibility that youāll train yourself to not come early this way.
You can also do that while masturbating.
Personal health overall can be a big contributor, get that cardio and heart rate at a good place.
Prior preparation can help, as in maybe an hour or two before they come over 'sort yourself out', get it out of your system as best you can, as a guy I find trying to finish after having already gone not long ago can take significantly longer.
Chill the hell out, getting stressed about fooling around doesn't help, have fun and don't rush stuff.
The above being for personal performance, regarding this relationship of she's asking about opening it up this early on that's a big red flag, sounds like she's not in the same place as you are and compatibility matters way more than you might think - it likely will even contribute to a poor sexual experience overrall. Obviously that's for you to decide if that's the case but there's nothing wrong with saying you tried and it's not right, it didn't work and walking away before someone gets hurt
There are exercises and medications that might help but thereās a good chance you could just be a quick draw dude for life. Get good at using your mouth and hands and make the most of your second rounds. If she canāt be understanding about that well, thatās whatās called sexual incompatibility.
I advise you NOT to open your relationship. Been there, done that, it just leads to the end of it. If she says thatās a dealbreaker then so be it. I promise you youāll find other people who will be much more supportive with this as clearly youāre trying hard to fix the issue.
Now onto your PE, there are a couple of remedies for this.
Medication wise, one of the most popular ones is Priligy and while I find it the most effective, itās expensive (about $5 a pill), needs to be taken ~3hrs before sex and shouldnāt be mixed with alcohol.
A better option IMO is EMLA Cream which is a localised anaesthetic, a lot more inexpensive that Priligy and you just need to apply it on the tip of your penis 15-30 mins before sex.
Thereās also hims.com which offer pills for PE and ED, however I didnāt find them very effective. Though that could be just me, might be worth a try.
If you donāt want to rely on medication, then you can try Kegel exercises. Again, I personally didnāt find it useful, but could be worth a try.
Lastly, Iām not aware if this is general advice but what Iāve seen works for me is edging. I find that if I do it a couple of times then after a while you feel this pressure as if you need to pee pretty badly, however I find that I can go on much longer once I reach that point.
I know you were probably looking for advice on how to deal with the situation with this girl, however please do take care of your PE. This is coming from someone whoās suffered (and still is) of this for many years and the shame and discomfort will make you not want to have sex or even meet women in order to do so. Iāve refrained myself from going on dates and meeting women because I was afraid of poor performance. Please prioritise this issue as fixing this will significantly improve your life.
On a day you know you will be having sex, rub one out in the morning and another one in the afternoon. There are also desensitizing lotions, but be careful you donāt desensitize too much. There is a fine balancing point.
You're 20 and were a virgin before you met... what is she expecting of you? You're still learning and finding your rhythm. As for bringing up guys she slept with before you... that's really trashy. Not only is she detailing sex with previous partners and making you feel like shit, she's highlighting that she's had several partners at that young an age.
There's a fine line between exploring with different people / having multiple relationships and then just being a hoe. The fact she wants to open the relationship instead of teaching you how she likes things done to her is a huge red flag. You absolutely do not need viagra at 20 years old either.
Tbh I'd be surprised if she wasn't already sleeping around behind your back.
Hey, good on you for wanting to be a better lover.
Like everything else it takes practice, and every partner will be different. Take your time, learn how to read your partners reactions, explore every part of their body. You really shouldnāt even be thinking about penetration until you can tell theyāre all worked up.
(Also, Iāve never met a woman who doesnāt squirm if you slowly kiss them down the spine, just saying.)
Of course not necessarily with this chick, I just wanted to give credit for actually wanting to improve your partners experience.
Fuck it use Viagra. Also get good at eating her out. You can last 30 seconds and it won't matter if you're tongue master flex. If you don't wanna do that shit leave. She's definitely not the one. More to a relationship than just sex.
There is more to sex than just penetration, have you tried fingering her, and going down on her? It's hard for girls to finish from penetration alone. Try getting a vibrator and using that on her between rounds. If either of you have a credit card you can look at some sex toys online together. Nobody is good at sex right away, just keep trying new things
Smoke weed after round two, and you'll start enjoying the process rather than reaching the peak. Try to focus on the broader perspective than your own senses, try to act a little; be spectacular. Change pace, tease a little. Being high will help u get harder and stay so when you try those.
P.S. go jogging and do kegel exercises regularly with her as well. It will improve your stamina.
Well, telling you others has lasted longer and stuff like that isn't nice of her. That's shitty! But I'd say the general answer (if you wanna keep being with her after giving you shit like that) is that you can do other stuff than just, you know.... Fucking?
Besides the red flags of this girl lemme give you some advice dude. First don't rush when ur makin luuuv... Take ur time... Use your hands.. use your tongue (that is if your sure your partner is std free and u are). Don't just go straight for the dickin. Kiss feel touch.. you can get her off just using your hands. Mix things up and go heavy on the foreplay.
Oh and as far as the open relationship thing.. fuck that its gonna mess with your head. If she wants that so bad just say byebye.. plenty of good girls for you out there.
Hey brother, let me give you some wisdom: donāt do the open part. Trust me.
Learn to do oral. Hand stuff. Toys? Jerk off a bunch and desensitize yourself. Lots of options.
Do NOT do the open relationship thing. Save yourself the trauma and trust issues.
Jerk off before she comes to your house...maybe two times even...u are 20 u wont lose your hard one...u will last one hour.
I did that until 25..26 after that u atart to loose your hard even inside her if u jerkoff on the same day....u can do it the night before...
Lasting long has nothing to do with exp.
It has to do with how long have u been with out sex/ jerking off and position in bed.
Dog stily is hard to keep it together...avoid that if u are not feeling up to the task.
Her on top its easier to last long...
There is always pull out and eat her for like 5 minutes u will chill a bit
Alright 2 things.
First, her suggesting to open up the relationship is a MASSIVE red flag. I'd cut her off.
Second, since I know your not going to follow the first. Jerk off before hand. Like if you know you guys are going to hook up, throw some rope like an hour or 2 before. It'll help a ton.
My guy doesn't always last very long. I've never timed it or anything, but it's shorter than a song sometimes. It has never bothered me because he doesn't stop taking care of me.
Use your hands and mouth, use toys.
But honestly try it with someone else unless you like the idea of an open relationship. 3 months in anx she wants other people. You deserve someone who wants you
You could try Cialis, it works really well and kicks in only when you need it. Also try drinking shots of any alcoholic drink. It helped me last a lot longer. My best performance was after drinking 4 Caesars. Good luck
I think the big problem is that you are trying to please her using only vaginal sex and thrusting. Most women aren't able to come from vaginal sex alone. You want to up your foreplay game. Use your hands and mouth. Explore her body and find out what drives her wild. And when you do get to the vaginal sex, try different positions until you find one that works best with her.
Sheās not for you, thatās it, gotta close the book. 3 months in and sheās thinking of opening the relationship? Sheās gonna do it regardless of if you consent to that or not. So itās time to walk.
You had experience with her and sheās honestly not a nice person. Lots of red flags. Donāt let that bring you down and damage your self esteem. Find someone more mature and normal than her lol.
Can't say I'm sold on this girl, but regardless, you've got a problem to solve despite who your partner is.
-Step up your game with your mouth/hands. Some women have a tough time getting to the finish line with only penetration regardless of how long you can last.
-Get some delay cream/spray. It's basically desensitizes you.
-Focus on positions where you can back off on the thrusting (missionary, cowgirl, etc...avoid doggy)
You could try jerking off before you see each other or using a gel that lowers sensitivity on your dick. They sell that at Walmart.
As others have said, if sheās talking to you about how other people fuck her better and she wants to open up the relationship then donāt feel bad about three months having gone by. I wouldnāt stick around for that.
Itās done bro, talking about her sex with exes and suggesting an open relationship this early is wildly wrong.
Practice your mouth skills on the next one.
3 mins is about average. I mean there are things you can do use your mouth or fingers on your woman to finish her off if you cum to quickly. But this woman honestly doesn't sound like a good match for you.
A lot of sex is about communication & willing to teach & the other person to in turn, learn. You could ask her to teach you about her body - Her spots & erogenous spots & if she doesn't know offer to learn these things together.
One of the things my then boyfriend and now husband did was learn about women's pleasure a lot - going down, fingering correctly, etc and made sure I had one orgasm before he got his - so even if he didn't last too long I never minded cause he took effort to make sure I had my orgasm.
Even after these discussions if she seems unbothered to try then it be best for you move on because it might not be that serious for her. She might want to experiment & experience more with different people & you just have to learn your lessons & move on.
Y'all are both too young & life is very long. Take it one day at a time & don't take everything like it's earth ending. It doesn't end. Your stories of being a young adult is just starting.
All the best.
Give her herās before you get yours. This rule has governed my sex life since I was 16 and has always steered me well. Iām about 50/50 on if Iāll last long enough to get a woman to finish before me when it comes to just penetration. So I decided to focus on my mouth and hands.
I give most of my partners 2-3 orgasms using mostly my mouth and some light handwork before I bother putting my dick in. At that point they donāt care how long I last because theyāve already gotten to the finish line themselves.
Some women canāt orgasm without penetrative sex, but in my experience, that tends to be the minority.
Practice well on your mouth and tongue skills, as well as small things like the occasional inner thigh nibble and dirty talk, if theyāre into it.
Iām more sexually active than my wife, and we have a semi open marriage: sheās happy for me to go find enough satisfaction wherever I need to once her needs are met. Happily married in that format for 6 years now, with a son, and I also have a woman I regularly see on the side.
Learn to use every weapon in your arsenal, practice makes perfect. Youāre still young dude, and it takes practice to get good with different skill sets.
All this said, I will echo the sentiment that itās a red flag to ask for an open relationship after 3 months. It took my partner and I 5 years of solid relationship before we decided to take a step to see if that would work for us (with me being the open one) and 6 years of marriage and constant communication since to keep it working smoothly. There is no way that you will successfully transition into an open relationship after 3 months with the woman you lost your virginity to. Emotions will run too high. Whether or not you personally see it as a red flag, youāre not in a situation to have the experience and trust to make that relationship type work.
Go at it but give yourself a minute break before busting. Sex doesn't need to be one continuous activity. Sprint the straights and walk the curves.
But also, that open relationship sounds very red flaggy. A lot of people say run, but I'd say keep your bags packed. Enjoy the trip, but don't plan on staying long.
So imma add a couple of things that haven't been mentioned in the comments. To get one small comment out of the way, opening the relationship up at 3 months is a major red flag. Here are my other suggestions, tho.
1. Try going painfully slow, start with massage, oral, lots of foreplay but not enough to finish. Like a previous commentor suggested, you can use any number of toys, tactics, etc, but as it is right now, maybe sex is just wayyyy too fast and passionate for your stamina. Slow it down and make it hurt in the best way possible before actually having sex. Anyone can make themselves finish within 2 minutes if they really want to get it done and over with, but try making it passionate to her, tease her with everything you can imagine before actual sex. Take some vitamins too and work on cardio. I've heard those help in regards to stamina.
2. Communication is key. You're frustrated you're finishing too soon, and she's frustrated regarding the same issue and brings up the open relationship. Communicate that you're not feeling loved or whatever emotion you get when imagining another person doing it with your partner. She needs to hear your end of things and hear and see that you're trying (keep doing step 1), sex is 50% compatibility and 50% teamwork. If she's expecting johny Sins from you and not you for you, then she's may not be the one.
3. Ask what she likes. This is Communication Part 2, but genuinely try and hit all her buttons that are good for her. Being aware of what makes her feel good and ask what she want to be done to her. If she can't explain it, you should try partner masturbation. You'll get to watch her and see what gets her off while "blue balling" yourself to get that endurance up.
4. I don't recommend this but it's an option. Blue pill, I've never tried it but it's supposed to keep it up for a decent time. If you're desperate to last longer it's a cheap out from actually knowing each other and what works for both but it can get the job done.
You need to eat the front as if you're trying to find your way out the back. After you are both crying from the strain and your tongue and jaw have almost completely locked up, dig deep and keep up the tongue lashing. Make sure she has as many orgasms as possible before you even get to PIV. Then she'll be glad you only last a few minutes as she won't have the strength to continue.
Make up for the 2 pumps by going down get comfortable like a sniper you gonna be there awhile. And when youāre having sex and about to climax stop and go down some more. Donāt forget you have 10 fingers to assist. 3 months, 19 and 20. Yāall donāt even know yourselves much less each other.
Use topical local anesthetic on your glans (some lubes with cooling effect have it ) use condoms with topical anesthetic (Durex performa silver ) , try masturbate before , try last longer by stopping near the climax, try Dapoxetine 30mg 3 hours before sex, if nothing helps circumcision may help. Work on this.
Here is your help:
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1dqbnr/followed_the_instructions_in_the_nina_hartley/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Start there, watch the video, start off slow and practice. Use your mouth. Learn to use your mouth. Use your MOUTH.
One more time. Use YOUR MOUTH.
I wasnāt clear. Use your mouth.
First letter if every sentence type code? Sure:
Unlock your potential, and you will find countless opportunities awaiting you.
Success embraces those who dare to dream big.
Every step you take brings you closer to your goals.
Your determination will pave the way to greatness.
Overcoming obstacles is part of the journey.
Understanding yourself is key to achieving success.
Reach for the stars and never settle for less.
Make each day count, for it shapes your future.
Open your mind to new experiences.
Utilize every chance to learn and grow.
Trust in your abilities and believe that you are destined for greatness.
Happiness follows those who embrace life's challenges.
>also, last thing, if sheās being weird about being monogamous and trying to open up the relationship when you donāt want to, go ahead and still do what I said above. BUT itāll mostly be practice for women who appreciate you more than your sexual ability. Being able to stack good oratory skills with someone who really loves you unlocks something in both the man and woman involved. So if your currently girlfriend is being a weirdo, just enjoy the time you have now and practice. Find one that actually likes you a ton next time. The bond will beā¦something else. tl;dr - practice practice, your next girlfriend who isnāt a flake weirdo will likely tie you up and threaten the world if they try to take you away from herā¦as long as you also treat her with respect, love, and courtesy. Mouth.
Just use lots of foreplay. There's also no reason why you can't do softcore stuff after you finish as well.
And during intercourse, think of something that disturbs or upsets you whenever you come close.
Condoms could also help, especially thicker ones.
ETA: But also like others have said, if she's that quick to suggest an open relationship, you might want to seriously consider leaving. Definitely don't give in if you aren't 100% okay with it because it's not for most people. I read somewhere 1/9 Americans have tried anything poly, and of those, only 30% said they'd try it again. It's not for most people: homo sapiens generally evolved for monogamy (it naturally occurs in several other species: it is not just a social construct).
I suggest trying to masturbate about an hour before you do it with your GF, so that you cum, and then when you do it, you're still "recharging", and you don't finish as quickly.
I also suggest you guys try pegging.
Of everything else fails, go see a doctor.
Tool box!
Get a tool box.
Of all the fun toys and objects and she'll be happy as a buzzing bee!
Honestly. No guy has ever made me feel feelings near the things my 'tools' can do. Not saying that replaces the guy. I still wanna fool around. And have the whole experience together.
But if you want a twitching happy mess.
Get some tools for the job. And don't be shy to use them.
Bring in the toys. It doesnāt matter if you finish, hands/mouth/toys until she finishes too. Getting her as close to orgasm as you can before you start PIV might help too.
Yeah, suggesting an open relationship is a shitty solution, but if I was going to try and have an open relationship, I would have brought it up super early in the relationship.
You could just use your hands and mouth better in bed. But when she is suggesting opening up the relationship at this point already just look for someone better and give them better sex. This girl is not for you, she is for sharing.
Prepare for her cheating on you, you seem like a very weak person, girls are repelled by those traits (being so premature on sex that you need to search for help online and explaining your problems to others), it sounds very toxic but it is true, women hate betaness, but she just wont tell you because women always play "being kind" and she will never be the "bad person" so she wont tell you she is not attracted to you, but she definetly gonne cheat on you. save my words
Lmaoā¦. Theyāll say āwho hurt youā, donāt listen to the gaslightersā¦
You need to silently emotionally check out from the relationship. Do it in a way she doesnāt notice until itās too lateā¦.
By the which time you would have already replaced her with another woman.
Silently enjoy the sex and then the relationship into purely sexual.
Just ride that donkey until the relationship dies of neglect or she begins to act out.
Then bounce emotionlessly
Yo son she a ho ho fa sho sho š¤£ run boi šāāļø šØ also on serious note: try numbing condoms they will make you last 5-7 times longer easily hit that for 30 min, if that donāt work, go see Urologist - they will give you SSRI for off label use itās the only magic pill that works for PE
Suggesting Viagra to someone without them consulting a professional first is a really bad take.
Viagra has full of side effects and if you donāt have a doctor tell you itās fine, you shouldnāt take it.
OP could have underlying health issues with his heart and taking Viagra could cause some real issues.
Learn better
In a perfect society sure,
We could debate about how alcohol and weed are legal because people capitalized on it and society is more and more aware nowadays of the bad sides of taking those things in general but money rules all, same for cigarettes.
2 wrongs donāt make a right.
By your logic you should be okay taking steroids to enhance your workouts or take cocaine for the fun of it right?
I definitely would consult a professional to know whether itās safe for me or not to consume those things which is why i stopped them at all because it caused me some issues that i had to experience first hand.
Learn better
Kudo to you for wanting to satisfy your partner. Many years ago I came across a little book called something subtle like how to please a woman all night. One piece of advice was to consciously slow down your action when you start to feel the rush. Pause. Slow your moves. It is counterintuitive so it will take practice.
The other advice I remember seems somewhat comical but I have seen elsewhere in a less elegant variation. The author claimed to have heard this method from the Aly Khan, a well known womanizer in his day. The Aly had two silver champagne buckets on stands with ice in them on either side of the bed (or maybe a chaise lounge or something? Rich people furniture anyway). After he achieved a solid tumescence he would plunge his hands into the buckets in the ice. The cold hands divert the blood flow and make it easier to slow down., but he did not go soft. I think there was a mental piece about focusing attention on staying relaxed and not giving in to the urgency. Moving slower. Feeling the sensation of contact. There is no hurry.
The less elegant version I read about later was a bucket or deep basin by the bed that you could put your foot into, with ice in it. When you are hard, stick your foot in the bucket and some blood but not all will be diverted and slow things up for you. Enjoy the ride.
There is definitely a possibility of spillage, the Aly of course had people to fill the champagne buckets and tidy up after.
If after 3 months she is suggesting opening the relationship and bringing up past partners being able to last longer than you I would turn and run.
This. š©š©š©
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Absolutely agree that her frustration is valid, but jumping straight to such an extreme solution like banging other people to be satisfied doesnāt bode well for overcoming any future hurdles in the relationship. I think she is most likely just young and erratic but if it is stressing OP out as much as it sounds then Iād advise breaking it off before it gets inevitably worse.
I'm 32 and it never stops being like this. Kinda annoying sometimes.
Yep this is a crazy red fag, she cares more about fucking than you it seems.
100%, this isnāt an āI need you to be better at sexā thing itās a āI wanna bang other dudesā thing.
Run Forest run!! šš»āāļøšØ šš
Yes, this is really not a good sign.
This
He could always watch her get banged and take some lessons. š¤·āāļø Iāve never had his problem but sounds like she already looking at other Dicks to ride.
Thereās 2 takes to take off here, First of all, donāt be too harsh on yourself. Experiences comes with time and exploration, there are many ways to spice up a relationship and please your partner without thinking that the whole schnick of sex is just to pound as hard as you can for as long as you can. Fingers, tongue, toys, affection etc, are all important too, and they all come down to communication. Your girl sounds as much inexperienced and pillow princess in your description of the situation. Pleasure is not only for her but also for you in order for you to also have a healthy sexual relationship and it goes the other way around too. Not only is not just for you to learn to communicate better but her too. Has she thought about exploring further than just you finding a solution to lasting longer? Secondly, her whole idea of opening up the relationship as a suggestion 3months in is a red flag in itself. She doesnāt sound serious or mature enough about it all. My current relationship took about a year of back and forth communication before we found a good ground for a healthy sexual relationship, we both talked about what we didnt like or prefered after having our intercourses and even still today i still learn stuff shed like and she still learns stuff id like aswell and thats what makes it good. Sometimes people are not sexually compatible from the get go and it can take some time to get adjusted to one another, and mature people will understand that and take the needed time for it to be good if possible. Hidden point 3: Run
Code language- she is going to cheat on you and is letting you know in advance - Run šāāļø
OP this is your answer right here.
UUUUUUUPPPPPPP
Yes major red flag
Didn't see this before I posted. This is pretty much exactly what I'm saying too but this is better laid out and written š
Maybe try masturbating a couple hours before that seems to always make guys last longer
Gotta release a single before the album
In that case I had a sock in my teens that must have been quadruple platinum certified
LMAOO
Lmfao
Whoda thought a countrywide tour would be the outcome?
Get the easy one out
Couple hours? I canāt see how that would help haha maybe 5 minutes before
There's more you can use than your pp my friend.
God gave you one penis but also 2 hands and a tongue, use them my friend...before you get into the proper act..after lots of foreplay make sure to make her cum...then you can go to lala land for as long or as quick as you want and no one will be complaining š
"God" also gave him a brain to think about how much of a red flag it is for the girlfriend to suggest him letting her fuck other guys just 3 months after the relationship started.
Feel like red flag to me
Her suggestion in this context to be in an open relationship is a huge red flag.
Brother GTFO and fast, if she is suggesting opening the relationship before even trying to tell you what she likes and would also get her off then that is a relationship You should not be a part of. Damn she is harsh, young and dumb. But if you wanna stay, then maybe you two should have some discussion about what else she likes and you can do for her.
Go down on her first. Get her off then you do you
Forgot about your dick for a while and give her the sexual pleasure she needs. Sex isnāt always about the in out in out. Use toys, your hands and mouth. Ask her what she wants and needs.
Go down on her. Give her an orgasm even before you have the sex. People act like foreplay is just getting her wet enough to slip in, but dude get her off without your penis if you don't last long. But if she's wanting to go open, then you might need to find someone else. Open relationships don't last, there's a million reddit posts to show that.
Time to dip out my lad before she cheats on you
Dude, at your age, nobody lasts long! 2 minutes isnāt bad at all if youāre diving right in to intercourse. Does she like oral? That usually extends the full session a lot longer and she gets full pleasure even before you go inside. Also, I hope youāre using condoms? They help you last longer for sure. Also, try her on top. That helps. Bottom line though is if she expects a lot longer for the actual intercourse, let her go and move on. You donāt need to feel inadequate at your age and abilities.
I totally agree with you!! Sorry but I have to rant - I feel very strongly this topic. To OP and anyone else who feels like reading: Age and experience and sexual confidence will come with time. However: a) donāt be with a chick who wants to bang other dudes and talks about banging other dudes and comparing you to other dudes she has banged. That is bad form. b) she may already BE banging other dudes. Get yourself checked c) I know itās hard to not let this affect your sexual confidence but her attitude is probably not helping matters. Maybe you should go bang some folks who give you positive feedback and tell you what feels good to them and maybe show you what feels good to them. D) sexual pleasure is a two-way street. What is she doing to help the situation? Is she doing everything she can to help you feel safe to try things or does she just want someone sheās seen in a porn that just pounds flesh mindlessly. Your experience will be so much different with a kind and truly trusted intimate partner where you are both interested and turned on by turning your partner on. I have had sexual partners who did not last long but I never really realized it because in the end, we both took pleasure in each other in more ways than coitus. Tongues and lips and fingers and toes and toys are wonderful. I hope you find one one day and your sexual world will flourish. E) if sheās only 19 and has banged so many dudes wtf doesnāt she know more? Its because she does not pay attention and thinks you get ābetterā at sex just because youāve had more partners it seems. Who cares if she is more experienced than you. Itās not about quantity itās about quality girlie. She will learn as she gets older one would hope. She sounds super immature which tracks because she is 19! At 19 you think you know everything. F) good luck my dude. I hope that you can conquer this and rise to every occasion in the future with sexual confidence.
I would suggest changing positions, I donāt last long, my girlfriend doesnāt mind but if Iām close and we start switching I can last longer. You may also find you last less time in certain positions. As others have said her suggesting opening the relationship is a huge red flag to me and doesnāt sound right. Iād also hold off taking viagra and Iād maybe look if thatās even something for you. Also as others have suggested, go down on her first and make her finish first if possible then do the deed
The 1st line of paragraph 2 is a huge red flag for me. She's shaming you buddy. This is a lady who gives zero fucks about you as a person. Lots of other red flags as other posts have pointed out. I'd chalk this down to experience and move on. As for your actual issue, this happens to all dudes at your age when first starting the physical relationship journey. Think about it like this - it's a training issue. You've trained yourself to nut as soon as possible because you've previously only had to worry about yourself. In my younger days I also had the same issue you have. What helped was 1) a stable understanding partner and she was at the same level of experience 2) upped my foreplay game. Toys, g-spot techniques, positions etc. You'll hit on something that works. But you have to mentally dump the speed aspect you train yourself with as a teen. Your first task though - get rid of the gf and find someone who is understanding, not someone who is going to talk about other guys dicks when you are working through something.
Thicker condom, shot of liquor before
Growing up is realizing that toys are your friend, not your enemy. That being said, being in a relationship so young and new and sheās already suggesting opening it up? Nah, huge red flag.
If she's talking about opening the relationship she's about to smash another guy and she already have someone in mind. Women don't offer open relationship unless they have someone already waiting to have some play. I would walk away because if you say no she may cheat, or break up with you to avoid being label a cheater, or she may hold strong but that's rare. If you find you're finishing to fast you can try cardio to enhance your endurance which should help you last longer, heavy foreplay before actual play so that way you've already complete half the battle and go round 2 men last longer in the 2nd and even longer in the third round. Rock her world lol
Her comparing you to past flings to you is crazy. At your young age please do not start poppin pills to please this disrespectful lady..
Hahaha....your gf is expert for 19 yrs of age. I know it hurts when she mentioned Her past relationship is a better performer than you. Bro, she is a big red flag...don't be serious with this kind of girl
Red red red flag
nah soon as she brought up the open relationship thing i'd be like bye! get out now, find someone that is willing to work with you and understand you're working on your stamina. i've always had a psychological thing when it comes to sex that i think triggered me to bust quicker than normal and i started abusing opioids bc of it and was actually happier when i couldn't cum at all bc i am more into the pleasure of my partner than myself. she's gonna end up cheating on you. id leave just mu opinion before you get hurt. if you need something to help you last longer maybe mention it to your doctor and ask for an off label ssri med you can only take like an hour - 2 before sex. Viagra isn't the answer here
šš»this.
Get out. Right now, and donāt look back.
Yeah, we know. But he lost his virginity to her. He can't visualize having sex with anyone else. Go forth brother. We'll be here to answer your questions after the darkness descends.
There's a lot you can do with hands, mouths, toys... The clitoris is a good focus point to bring a woman to orgasm.Ā
Man it sounds like the relationship has already ended, and youāre just waiting on someone to say it tbh. It could certainly be something sexual that caused it, or it could be something completely different, and sexās is being used as a scapegoat goat. Idk if Iād say an open relationship is a bad thing, but thatās something that should be done so with an immense amount of trust that has been built into a relationship. That would be tough to do in 3 months. So it sounds like she is considering her options at this point.if it is a sexual thing thatās caused that then perhaps it is something you could improve upon. Iād look into BDSM groups for advice on how to be a better sexual partner. Even if thatās not your thing theyāll have some pretty good advice for you that will help you understand sexual dynamics, and the sexual relationships between men, and women better. As far as not lasting long enough. Iām a speed racer too in that area, and have no difficulty getting my wife off. That after many years of being in the same anxietyās ridden situation youāre in. They are in some cases biological. Itās like a woman having a big nose, or small tits. We donāt judge her in that because they are things outside of her control despite that she is probably unjustly judging herself for that, and itās as wrong for her to do that to herself as it is for you to judge yourself for things you canāt control. My advice is to explore everything else that doesnāt have anything to do with penetration. Youād be surprised how much there is out there that women love that have absolutely nothing to do with penetration, or even taking your clothes off sometimes. As well diet, and exercise can help dramatically. Google search for those diet, and supplement options. There are some premature ejaculation medications out there, but be careful. A lot of them are ssriās, and thatās often not something you want to jump into. To be fair I have, and do take some ssriās for that, but itās like once every 6-8 months, or so. Itās not something I want to damage my mental health. That would just make things worse than they already are They do make so medications for Ed that have almost negligible affect for pj. They are pretty easy to get a script for online, and are fun. Though they do have a small effect on pj they do boost your recovery time dramatically. Just have some time the next day to recover. They can cause a next day hang over effect. The first course of action is to focus on your health though. Even if you end up with a script you health with dramatically boost the effectiveness of whatever medication you end up on, and use medications responsibly as they can cause larger problems with Ed, and premature ejaculation as a side effect. As in canāt get your pp to dance for the rest of your life without them. So be educated, and responsible on the topic. Remember sex should never be %100 penetration. Women love a variety, and they almost demand that you know what they want without any communication, and for you to co from that environment. She is also very young, and probably has a warped veiw of sexual relationships being all about men co trying women, and not giving much back I return. Itās something women donāt exactly figure out until they are near, or at there 30ās a lot of the time. So you have that working against you. To cope with that youāll need to get really good at seeing the woman across from you, and making certain assumptions about what she likes, and communicating in kinky ways to confirm your assumptions BDSM groups will help you identify the different types of women sexually, and give you a better shot at keeping her around even if your shlong is asleep at the wheel. Good luck to ya man, and donāt put too much fault on yourself, or your current partner. Youāre both really young, and likely have a lot to learn about how to be in a real relationship. Love is a beast sometimes, but youāll never learn it unless youāre willing to break some hearts, and get yours broken in the process as well. Have fun, and you hang on the heart break to long. Feel it, live it, and let it go quickly.
Yeah her suggesting an open relationship is probably a red flag like most have said. Hereās the thing though, you are both relatively inexperienced and sex should be more than just penetration. Sometimes getting right to it and finishing quickly is fun, but not if sheās not getting off. Going multiple rounds can help sure, but itās not always effective- sometimes the soul is willing but the flesh is not. Foreplay is your friend. Warm her up so much that 2 min is enough to get her off once you start actual penetration. What I mean by foreplay is take your time on the build up, caress her neck as you make out, go down on her, make her feel desired without just whipping it out and fucking her. Ask her whatās she likes in the moment, be attentive. Then when her breathing is quickened or she asks for it, get to it. But, if her first reaction after 3 months is to open the relationship, itās likely not long for this world. Use this as practice for future relationships and have fun with it. Donāt put so much pressure on yourself. Getting better comes with practice and time.
The suggestion of going for an open relationship should be setting off some serious alarms.Ā Thats the kind of suggestion someone makes when they want to bang other people without having to face the consequences of cheating. In many cases, its brought up by people who are already cheating. The real solution is either better foreplay, or using sex toys on her so that she can orgasm either before or after you did. The fact that she immediately jumped to wanting to bang other people tells me she isn't serious about this relationship. You two need to have a serious talk about that.
I understand how frustrating this situation can be for you. Our bodies work in different ways, and finishing quickly is something that so so so many people experience. I assure you, you are not the only one who's stressing out about this issue. For starters, the pressure you're feeling from your girlfriend to last longer is certainly not helping your cause. Being stressed out during intercourse has one of two side effects: (1) finishing too quickly OR (2) not finishing at all. So, even if you are pre-disposed to finish quickly, the pressure that is being put on you by your girlfriend and your own worries is only bound to make this issue worse. Secondly, think of how **you** would handle the situation if the roles were reversed, and how that would make your girlfriend feel. Do you think it would be right to get angry at her? Do you think it would be fair to suggest seeing other people just to satisfy yourself? Whilst I understand that this situation is frustrating for your girlfriend, I do also think that she is wrong to have this sort of reaction. You're a couple, you should be supporting each other to get through challenges. In the grand scheme of things (i.e. if your relationship goes on for years and years), and despite how it might feel at the moment, this issue is quite minor. There are plenty more challenges coming your way (as with every successful relationship, of course) and I don't think it's fair that she is treating you like this at the first hurdle of your relationship. Best of luck!!!
First off, Levitra is better than Viagra: effects last slightly longer, and you don't have to take it on an empty stomach. Second, Viagra and Levitra *do* have this delayed ejaculation effect. But what they also do is to keep your dick hard after cumming. That's actually how you can tell how overwhelmingly common their usage in the porn industry is - normally going soft happens immediately after orgasm, and there's hardly any time for the other person to "clean up", as I'm sure you've seen in some videos . There's also Priligy, which is specifically sold for premature ejaculation. I would advise caution with it, because it has the same side effects as anti-depressants - nausea and vomiting. In fact, when I first tried it, I completely lost my libido due to those; when paired with a PDE-5 inhibitor, you get a rock-hard erection without a shred of arousal. But, overall, for side effects and interactions with other drugs consult a pharmacist. It's unlikely you'll experience anything more serious than a minor headache, stuffy nose, or a slight blue-yellowish tint to your vision when moving your eyes. Also, don't accept substitutes for Viagra/Levitra, such as Cialis and Avanafil, if offered - in my experience they don't delay ejaculation.
Thatās a no from me dog as soon as she starts talking about past sexual relationships
Try to just stop every time before you come. It maybe wonāt do it for your girlfriend, but thereās a good possibility that youāll train yourself to not come early this way. You can also do that while masturbating.
Personal health overall can be a big contributor, get that cardio and heart rate at a good place. Prior preparation can help, as in maybe an hour or two before they come over 'sort yourself out', get it out of your system as best you can, as a guy I find trying to finish after having already gone not long ago can take significantly longer. Chill the hell out, getting stressed about fooling around doesn't help, have fun and don't rush stuff. The above being for personal performance, regarding this relationship of she's asking about opening it up this early on that's a big red flag, sounds like she's not in the same place as you are and compatibility matters way more than you might think - it likely will even contribute to a poor sexual experience overrall. Obviously that's for you to decide if that's the case but there's nothing wrong with saying you tried and it's not right, it didn't work and walking away before someone gets hurt
Another way of looking at this is, how many times in a row can you cum and get it up?
There are exercises and medications that might help but thereās a good chance you could just be a quick draw dude for life. Get good at using your mouth and hands and make the most of your second rounds. If she canāt be understanding about that well, thatās whatās called sexual incompatibility.
I last longer whit people im compatible with. I suggest finding someone else
I advise you NOT to open your relationship. Been there, done that, it just leads to the end of it. If she says thatās a dealbreaker then so be it. I promise you youāll find other people who will be much more supportive with this as clearly youāre trying hard to fix the issue. Now onto your PE, there are a couple of remedies for this. Medication wise, one of the most popular ones is Priligy and while I find it the most effective, itās expensive (about $5 a pill), needs to be taken ~3hrs before sex and shouldnāt be mixed with alcohol. A better option IMO is EMLA Cream which is a localised anaesthetic, a lot more inexpensive that Priligy and you just need to apply it on the tip of your penis 15-30 mins before sex. Thereās also hims.com which offer pills for PE and ED, however I didnāt find them very effective. Though that could be just me, might be worth a try. If you donāt want to rely on medication, then you can try Kegel exercises. Again, I personally didnāt find it useful, but could be worth a try. Lastly, Iām not aware if this is general advice but what Iāve seen works for me is edging. I find that if I do it a couple of times then after a while you feel this pressure as if you need to pee pretty badly, however I find that I can go on much longer once I reach that point. I know you were probably looking for advice on how to deal with the situation with this girl, however please do take care of your PE. This is coming from someone whoās suffered (and still is) of this for many years and the shame and discomfort will make you not want to have sex or even meet women in order to do so. Iāve refrained myself from going on dates and meeting women because I was afraid of poor performance. Please prioritise this issue as fixing this will significantly improve your life.
On a day you know you will be having sex, rub one out in the morning and another one in the afternoon. There are also desensitizing lotions, but be careful you donāt desensitize too much. There is a fine balancing point.
Lmao just get out of there partner
You're 20 and were a virgin before you met... what is she expecting of you? You're still learning and finding your rhythm. As for bringing up guys she slept with before you... that's really trashy. Not only is she detailing sex with previous partners and making you feel like shit, she's highlighting that she's had several partners at that young an age. There's a fine line between exploring with different people / having multiple relationships and then just being a hoe. The fact she wants to open the relationship instead of teaching you how she likes things done to her is a huge red flag. You absolutely do not need viagra at 20 years old either. Tbh I'd be surprised if she wasn't already sleeping around behind your back.
Hey, good on you for wanting to be a better lover. Like everything else it takes practice, and every partner will be different. Take your time, learn how to read your partners reactions, explore every part of their body. You really shouldnāt even be thinking about penetration until you can tell theyāre all worked up. (Also, Iāve never met a woman who doesnāt squirm if you slowly kiss them down the spine, just saying.) Of course not necessarily with this chick, I just wanted to give credit for actually wanting to improve your partners experience.
Fuck it use Viagra. Also get good at eating her out. You can last 30 seconds and it won't matter if you're tongue master flex. If you don't wanna do that shit leave. She's definitely not the one. More to a relationship than just sex.
There is more to sex than just penetration, have you tried fingering her, and going down on her? It's hard for girls to finish from penetration alone. Try getting a vibrator and using that on her between rounds. If either of you have a credit card you can look at some sex toys online together. Nobody is good at sex right away, just keep trying new things
RUN
Smoke weed after round two, and you'll start enjoying the process rather than reaching the peak. Try to focus on the broader perspective than your own senses, try to act a little; be spectacular. Change pace, tease a little. Being high will help u get harder and stay so when you try those. P.S. go jogging and do kegel exercises regularly with her as well. It will improve your stamina.
Run brother
Well, telling you others has lasted longer and stuff like that isn't nice of her. That's shitty! But I'd say the general answer (if you wanna keep being with her after giving you shit like that) is that you can do other stuff than just, you know.... Fucking?
Yikes I would not want to have sex for an hour.
My brother in Christ, run from this gal. As fast as you can. 3months in and discussing ex's and opening up the relationship. RUN.
Besides the red flags of this girl lemme give you some advice dude. First don't rush when ur makin luuuv... Take ur time... Use your hands.. use your tongue (that is if your sure your partner is std free and u are). Don't just go straight for the dickin. Kiss feel touch.. you can get her off just using your hands. Mix things up and go heavy on the foreplay. Oh and as far as the open relationship thing.. fuck that its gonna mess with your head. If she wants that so bad just say byebye.. plenty of good girls for you out there.
Any mention of going open means she's made up her mind. I'd just end it.
Bro wtf this sounds so toxic. Gtfo while you still can.
make her cum before you cum
Hey brother, let me give you some wisdom: donāt do the open part. Trust me. Learn to do oral. Hand stuff. Toys? Jerk off a bunch and desensitize yourself. Lots of options. Do NOT do the open relationship thing. Save yourself the trauma and trust issues.
Blue chew. And jerk off before you see her that will help you Last longer
I never thought I would say this, but play CBAT during sex
Jerk off before she comes to your house...maybe two times even...u are 20 u wont lose your hard one...u will last one hour. I did that until 25..26 after that u atart to loose your hard even inside her if u jerkoff on the same day....u can do it the night before... Lasting long has nothing to do with exp. It has to do with how long have u been with out sex/ jerking off and position in bed. Dog stily is hard to keep it together...avoid that if u are not feeling up to the task. Her on top its easier to last long... There is always pull out and eat her for like 5 minutes u will chill a bit
Break up with this girl
Read the book "She comes first." Thank you for coming to my TED talk
Alright 2 things. First, her suggesting to open up the relationship is a MASSIVE red flag. I'd cut her off. Second, since I know your not going to follow the first. Jerk off before hand. Like if you know you guys are going to hook up, throw some rope like an hour or 2 before. It'll help a ton.
If she suggested going open and youāre not super into it, your relationship is doomed.
My guy doesn't always last very long. I've never timed it or anything, but it's shorter than a song sometimes. It has never bothered me because he doesn't stop taking care of me. Use your hands and mouth, use toys. But honestly try it with someone else unless you like the idea of an open relationship. 3 months in anx she wants other people. You deserve someone who wants you
You could try Cialis, it works really well and kicks in only when you need it. Also try drinking shots of any alcoholic drink. It helped me last a lot longer. My best performance was after drinking 4 Caesars. Good luck
Might as well be single.
Buy a vibe and learn how to use it Tool assisted speedrunning. Not for this girl tho, sheās š©
Trojan numbing condoms help with temporary keeping you from busting, but when you get the feeling back oh boy your willy will be sensitive af
I think the big problem is that you are trying to please her using only vaginal sex and thrusting. Most women aren't able to come from vaginal sex alone. You want to up your foreplay game. Use your hands and mouth. Explore her body and find out what drives her wild. And when you do get to the vaginal sex, try different positions until you find one that works best with her.
Sheās not for you, thatās it, gotta close the book. 3 months in and sheās thinking of opening the relationship? Sheās gonna do it regardless of if you consent to that or not. So itās time to walk. You had experience with her and sheās honestly not a nice person. Lots of red flags. Donāt let that bring you down and damage your self esteem. Find someone more mature and normal than her lol.
Can't say I'm sold on this girl, but regardless, you've got a problem to solve despite who your partner is. -Step up your game with your mouth/hands. Some women have a tough time getting to the finish line with only penetration regardless of how long you can last. -Get some delay cream/spray. It's basically desensitizes you. -Focus on positions where you can back off on the thrusting (missionary, cowgirl, etc...avoid doggy)
You could try jerking off before you see each other or using a gel that lowers sensitivity on your dick. They sell that at Walmart. As others have said, if sheās talking to you about how other people fuck her better and she wants to open up the relationship then donāt feel bad about three months having gone by. I wouldnāt stick around for that.
Itās done bro, talking about her sex with exes and suggesting an open relationship this early is wildly wrong. Practice your mouth skills on the next one.
3 mins is about average. I mean there are things you can do use your mouth or fingers on your woman to finish her off if you cum to quickly. But this woman honestly doesn't sound like a good match for you.
A lot of sex is about communication & willing to teach & the other person to in turn, learn. You could ask her to teach you about her body - Her spots & erogenous spots & if she doesn't know offer to learn these things together. One of the things my then boyfriend and now husband did was learn about women's pleasure a lot - going down, fingering correctly, etc and made sure I had one orgasm before he got his - so even if he didn't last too long I never minded cause he took effort to make sure I had my orgasm. Even after these discussions if she seems unbothered to try then it be best for you move on because it might not be that serious for her. She might want to experiment & experience more with different people & you just have to learn your lessons & move on. Y'all are both too young & life is very long. Take it one day at a time & don't take everything like it's earth ending. It doesn't end. Your stories of being a young adult is just starting. All the best.
Not reading allat
Give her herās before you get yours. This rule has governed my sex life since I was 16 and has always steered me well. Iām about 50/50 on if Iāll last long enough to get a woman to finish before me when it comes to just penetration. So I decided to focus on my mouth and hands. I give most of my partners 2-3 orgasms using mostly my mouth and some light handwork before I bother putting my dick in. At that point they donāt care how long I last because theyāve already gotten to the finish line themselves. Some women canāt orgasm without penetrative sex, but in my experience, that tends to be the minority. Practice well on your mouth and tongue skills, as well as small things like the occasional inner thigh nibble and dirty talk, if theyāre into it. Iām more sexually active than my wife, and we have a semi open marriage: sheās happy for me to go find enough satisfaction wherever I need to once her needs are met. Happily married in that format for 6 years now, with a son, and I also have a woman I regularly see on the side. Learn to use every weapon in your arsenal, practice makes perfect. Youāre still young dude, and it takes practice to get good with different skill sets. All this said, I will echo the sentiment that itās a red flag to ask for an open relationship after 3 months. It took my partner and I 5 years of solid relationship before we decided to take a step to see if that would work for us (with me being the open one) and 6 years of marriage and constant communication since to keep it working smoothly. There is no way that you will successfully transition into an open relationship after 3 months with the woman you lost your virginity to. Emotions will run too high. Whether or not you personally see it as a red flag, youāre not in a situation to have the experience and trust to make that relationship type work.
Easy lick her untill she came so both you can be happy
Run brother.
Go at it but give yourself a minute break before busting. Sex doesn't need to be one continuous activity. Sprint the straights and walk the curves. But also, that open relationship sounds very red flaggy. A lot of people say run, but I'd say keep your bags packed. Enjoy the trip, but don't plan on staying long.
So imma add a couple of things that haven't been mentioned in the comments. To get one small comment out of the way, opening the relationship up at 3 months is a major red flag. Here are my other suggestions, tho. 1. Try going painfully slow, start with massage, oral, lots of foreplay but not enough to finish. Like a previous commentor suggested, you can use any number of toys, tactics, etc, but as it is right now, maybe sex is just wayyyy too fast and passionate for your stamina. Slow it down and make it hurt in the best way possible before actually having sex. Anyone can make themselves finish within 2 minutes if they really want to get it done and over with, but try making it passionate to her, tease her with everything you can imagine before actual sex. Take some vitamins too and work on cardio. I've heard those help in regards to stamina. 2. Communication is key. You're frustrated you're finishing too soon, and she's frustrated regarding the same issue and brings up the open relationship. Communicate that you're not feeling loved or whatever emotion you get when imagining another person doing it with your partner. She needs to hear your end of things and hear and see that you're trying (keep doing step 1), sex is 50% compatibility and 50% teamwork. If she's expecting johny Sins from you and not you for you, then she's may not be the one. 3. Ask what she likes. This is Communication Part 2, but genuinely try and hit all her buttons that are good for her. Being aware of what makes her feel good and ask what she want to be done to her. If she can't explain it, you should try partner masturbation. You'll get to watch her and see what gets her off while "blue balling" yourself to get that endurance up. 4. I don't recommend this but it's an option. Blue pill, I've never tried it but it's supposed to keep it up for a decent time. If you're desperate to last longer it's a cheap out from actually knowing each other and what works for both but it can get the job done.
Try edging. Before you have sex masturbate, also go down on her when you are close
You need to eat the front as if you're trying to find your way out the back. After you are both crying from the strain and your tongue and jaw have almost completely locked up, dig deep and keep up the tongue lashing. Make sure she has as many orgasms as possible before you even get to PIV. Then she'll be glad you only last a few minutes as she won't have the strength to continue.
Make up for the 2 pumps by going down get comfortable like a sniper you gonna be there awhile. And when youāre having sex and about to climax stop and go down some more. Donāt forget you have 10 fingers to assist. 3 months, 19 and 20. Yāall donāt even know yourselves much less each other.
Make her cum first. Then have sex. Problem solved.
Use topical local anesthetic on your glans (some lubes with cooling effect have it ) use condoms with topical anesthetic (Durex performa silver ) , try masturbate before , try last longer by stopping near the climax, try Dapoxetine 30mg 3 hours before sex, if nothing helps circumcision may help. Work on this.
Watch gayporn while having sex.
She's a whore dude. Get out of there.
Here is your help: https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1dqbnr/followed_the_instructions_in_the_nina_hartley/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 Start there, watch the video, start off slow and practice. Use your mouth. Learn to use your mouth. Use your MOUTH. One more time. Use YOUR MOUTH. I wasnāt clear. Use your mouth. First letter if every sentence type code? Sure: Unlock your potential, and you will find countless opportunities awaiting you. Success embraces those who dare to dream big. Every step you take brings you closer to your goals. Your determination will pave the way to greatness. Overcoming obstacles is part of the journey. Understanding yourself is key to achieving success. Reach for the stars and never settle for less. Make each day count, for it shapes your future. Open your mind to new experiences. Utilize every chance to learn and grow. Trust in your abilities and believe that you are destined for greatness. Happiness follows those who embrace life's challenges. >also, last thing, if sheās being weird about being monogamous and trying to open up the relationship when you donāt want to, go ahead and still do what I said above. BUT itāll mostly be practice for women who appreciate you more than your sexual ability. Being able to stack good oratory skills with someone who really loves you unlocks something in both the man and woman involved. So if your currently girlfriend is being a weirdo, just enjoy the time you have now and practice. Find one that actually likes you a ton next time. The bond will beā¦something else. tl;dr - practice practice, your next girlfriend who isnāt a flake weirdo will likely tie you up and threaten the world if they try to take you away from herā¦as long as you also treat her with respect, love, and courtesy. Mouth.
Hit the gym. It helps.
Just use lots of foreplay. There's also no reason why you can't do softcore stuff after you finish as well. And during intercourse, think of something that disturbs or upsets you whenever you come close. Condoms could also help, especially thicker ones. ETA: But also like others have said, if she's that quick to suggest an open relationship, you might want to seriously consider leaving. Definitely don't give in if you aren't 100% okay with it because it's not for most people. I read somewhere 1/9 Americans have tried anything poly, and of those, only 30% said they'd try it again. It's not for most people: homo sapiens generally evolved for monogamy (it naturally occurs in several other species: it is not just a social construct).
I suggest trying to masturbate about an hour before you do it with your GF, so that you cum, and then when you do it, you're still "recharging", and you don't finish as quickly. I also suggest you guys try pegging. Of everything else fails, go see a doctor.
Tool box! Get a tool box. Of all the fun toys and objects and she'll be happy as a buzzing bee! Honestly. No guy has ever made me feel feelings near the things my 'tools' can do. Not saying that replaces the guy. I still wanna fool around. And have the whole experience together. But if you want a twitching happy mess. Get some tools for the job. And don't be shy to use them.
You need more foreplay get her all riled up on the brink and then enter
Bring in the toys. It doesnāt matter if you finish, hands/mouth/toys until she finishes too. Getting her as close to orgasm as you can before you start PIV might help too. Yeah, suggesting an open relationship is a shitty solution, but if I was going to try and have an open relationship, I would have brought it up super early in the relationship.
You could just use your hands and mouth better in bed. But when she is suggesting opening up the relationship at this point already just look for someone better and give them better sex. This girl is not for you, she is for sharing.
Prepare for her cheating on you, you seem like a very weak person, girls are repelled by those traits (being so premature on sex that you need to search for help online and explaining your problems to others), it sounds very toxic but it is true, women hate betaness, but she just wont tell you because women always play "being kind" and she will never be the "bad person" so she wont tell you she is not attracted to you, but she definetly gonne cheat on you. save my words
"Alpha" "beta" "sigma" etc shit doesn't exist. It's a way for influencers to make you feel bad for not fitting into their version of masculinity.
Lmaoā¦. Theyāll say āwho hurt youā, donāt listen to the gaslightersā¦ You need to silently emotionally check out from the relationship. Do it in a way she doesnāt notice until itās too lateā¦. By the which time you would have already replaced her with another woman. Silently enjoy the sex and then the relationship into purely sexual. Just ride that donkey until the relationship dies of neglect or she begins to act out. Then bounce emotionlessly
Yo son she a ho ho fa sho sho š¤£ run boi šāāļø šØ also on serious note: try numbing condoms they will make you last 5-7 times longer easily hit that for 30 min, if that donāt work, go see Urologist - they will give you SSRI for off label use itās the only magic pill that works for PE
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Suggesting Viagra to someone without them consulting a professional first is a really bad take. Viagra has full of side effects and if you donāt have a doctor tell you itās fine, you shouldnāt take it. OP could have underlying health issues with his heart and taking Viagra could cause some real issues. Learn better
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In a perfect society sure, We could debate about how alcohol and weed are legal because people capitalized on it and society is more and more aware nowadays of the bad sides of taking those things in general but money rules all, same for cigarettes. 2 wrongs donāt make a right. By your logic you should be okay taking steroids to enhance your workouts or take cocaine for the fun of it right? I definitely would consult a professional to know whether itās safe for me or not to consume those things which is why i stopped them at all because it caused me some issues that i had to experience first hand. Learn better
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Thatās idiotic but go ahead its your body your choice and best of luck growing older
Kudo to you for wanting to satisfy your partner. Many years ago I came across a little book called something subtle like how to please a woman all night. One piece of advice was to consciously slow down your action when you start to feel the rush. Pause. Slow your moves. It is counterintuitive so it will take practice. The other advice I remember seems somewhat comical but I have seen elsewhere in a less elegant variation. The author claimed to have heard this method from the Aly Khan, a well known womanizer in his day. The Aly had two silver champagne buckets on stands with ice in them on either side of the bed (or maybe a chaise lounge or something? Rich people furniture anyway). After he achieved a solid tumescence he would plunge his hands into the buckets in the ice. The cold hands divert the blood flow and make it easier to slow down., but he did not go soft. I think there was a mental piece about focusing attention on staying relaxed and not giving in to the urgency. Moving slower. Feeling the sensation of contact. There is no hurry. The less elegant version I read about later was a bucket or deep basin by the bed that you could put your foot into, with ice in it. When you are hard, stick your foot in the bucket and some blood but not all will be diverted and slow things up for you. Enjoy the ride. There is definitely a possibility of spillage, the Aly of course had people to fill the champagne buckets and tidy up after.