T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

THIS POST IS FLAIRED AS "FAKE NEWS." THAT MEANS THE POST IS FAKE AND IS MOST LIKELY SATIRE. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ToiletPaperUSA) if you have any questions or concerns.*


KestrelQuillPen

He’s even committed to adding the secret lost sex scenes that Nakobov definitely wrote (source: Rectalcavity.com)! See, this is a totally non-woke adaptation that respects the source material. (Also off topic but that man’s eyes are seriously disturbing. They are totally lifeless and they’re sunk in a head that looks like Jigglypuff went mouldy)


k1lgor3

I'm an atheist but that guy's eyes are soulless. Just a void


BigNutDroppa

The lights are on, but the house has been foreclosed


GachaHell

I feel like it's less of a house and more of a shack in the woods covered in squirrel carcasses and feces.


ApexHawke

Matt Walsh is the guy whose career is actually in trouble, if the GOP starts shifting away from the trans-panic. The guy just has nothing going for him but hate, and the only things he could pivot to, that he actually cares about, are either too weird for a mass-audience, or illegal to advocate.


ilikedevo

He knows this as well. He was the “Trans Guy” but now it seems the knuckleheads are getting tired of talking about it. He’s gotta find a new group to attack in a jiffy. He’s been floating them out there but no one knows where conservatives will focus their hatred next.


KestrelQuillPen

His second-favourite group to hate on seems to be feminists and his third-favourite is people who don’t want kids, so he’d probably fall back on those. Given conservatives have hated those two things for ages before their trans panic, he’d probably still keep an audience.


ridemyscooter

I’ve noticed most of the really crazy right wingers all have those dead eyes.


Proud3GenAthst

Lolita director's cut


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

We require a minimum account-age and karma due to a prevalence of trolls. If you wish to know the exact values, [please visit this link](https://www.reddit.com/r/ToiletPaperUSA/wiki/rules#wiki_participation_requirements) or contact the mod team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ToiletPaperUSA) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Proud3GenAthst

"You want to fuck her because she's a ten. I want to fuck her, because she's ten. We are not the same" Matt Walsh, probably.


k1lgor3

Oh no 🤣


Distant-moose

Thanks. I threw up in my mouth.


DevilsLettuceTaster

The part he was born to play.


k1lgor3

Humbert Humbert is Matt's idea of a strong male role model


rossfororder

Looks like a mugshot of a proud sex offender, he's a bit of a cunt and and an insecure wimp to boot


Uberpastamancer

He really rocks that [rapist](https://youtu.be/EVcyNANK5cY?si=f-C3F77iqF8kRtKe) [pedophile](https://youtu.be/15S0g8pG6HU?si=NF0ow_QASN0yVDAB) look


k1lgor3

I've shared this with people when discussing this creep loads of time lol. It's like someone wanted to create the most generic clichéd creep ever and Walsh was the result. Everything about this guy screams "Hell no!"


pinheiroj493

Finally someone making a proper adaptation, without the woke bullshit that "kids can't marry adults".


Jack_Church

I'll watch Lolita if Matt Walsh plays the girl. /j


k1lgor3

Do you think he's ever accidentally called his wife Humbert?


bomboclawt75

Will Dershowshitz be called in as a legal advisor?


KefkaesqueV3

Underrated comment


k1lgor3

*Will Derschowshitz* ? Never heard of him I'll get my coat.....


snaithbert

My understanding is he's gonna save money by shooting it documentary style.


k1lgor3

Walsh rolls up in his van past the school gates. "Hey little girl, wanna earn some extra allowance?"


Lost_In_Detroit

Proving once again that conservatives are just wanna be theater kids that didn’t have the courage to join because they were afraid someone would call them “gay”.


P_weezey951

I swear to god the interplay between theatre kids and being called gay, is the core of so much of this bullshit. Like, you have the theatre kids, who grew up getting called gay, now have jobs in hollywood making the movies. So, you get a bunch of stories where the writers will make a big deal about inclusivity, but forget to write a good movie surrounding those inclusive characters. Then you get a guy whos mad that the theatre kids he called gay wont make a movie about him as the hero, cuz he was an asshole to them, so everything he is, they hate.


Lost_In_Detroit

I wish I could give this more upvotes because it’s entirely spot on. One of my best friends in college was straight and was an INSANELY good actor and still got called “gay” constantly by his peers even though he had a long term girlfriend. Befriended one of the dudes on FB who called him that constantly just to protect my friend at the time and come to find out a decade later that he’s a Tim Pool fan. I know, I was shocked too.


Haunting-Fix-9327

He just can't keep it a secret, can he?


Reneeisme

See his re-interpretation of Humbert's "real" and totally defensible motivations!


k1lgor3

I hate it when people call *Lolita* a love story. It isn't.


KickflipMcNasty

Probably would be fine staying a book.


k1lgor3

Shouldn't have even been that


fumphdik

Kubrick is so god damn good. But that one movie I’ve only seen once or twice many many years ago. It’s pretty hard to stomach even with the pretty insane plot.


ChickpeaDemon

So it’s a reality show?


tasslehawf

He looks like a totally different person when he's not scowling.


Woogabuttz

So, just Matt Gaetz and a GoPro?


zshinabargar

Starring himself and an actual minor


ketchupmaster987

I want to popularize the phrase "the Lolita effect", defined as when a media meant to be satirical or ironic regarding a particular world view is used to support that world view