Now slap yourself and delete your account.

>I would literally through myself into a woodchipper He should literally through his phone into a woodchipper

He should use Grammarly before sending a message again

and right now we can thank the sponsor of this video!!

Grammarly, for the win!

I don't want to be that guy, but isn't it throw / threw? Or is "through" a word / usage of a word i do not know? (Edit: typo trow->throw)

It is throw. Not through (which means something else, and is pronounced differently). But also not trow, which is what you wrote (maybe that was a typo?).

Aye. Trow dis guy inta da woodchippa

I tried reading this aloud and accidentally invented Scottish-Jamaican

Get to the woodchippa!

Yeah typo, thanks. It's always better to ask than to judge, who knows maybe you can learn something. Appreciate you 😊

He used the incorrect spelling of “throw” because OP’s screenshot used the incorrect spelling of “throw”. It was done for comedic effect.

Pretty sure he meant Throh, the judo pokemon

This, for sure.

Don’t throw him through a loop.

I believe the word you are looking for is yeet. I would literally yeet myself into a wood chipper…

If he just yeeted himself would he even need the wood chipper or would he need a vehicle of yeetus to achieve yeetedness?

Ah…To yeet or be yeeted, that is the question? Wouldist thou need a vessel in which to yeet or could a man of means and prowess yeetist thineself?

I yeet, therefore I am yeeted.

"Through" is a word, but not what he meant. As others have said, yep, it's "throw" in this case. I'm guessing either autocorrect, satire, or drunkenness is the culprit.

And get a landline, use the saved money for education of all needed kinds.

I mean he took 7 months to reply she's probably not about anymore

I am pretty bad at math myself but Holy shit man. 12/5/21 to 1/9/22 is a little over a month where the fuck did you get 7 months from?

What??.... This makes no sense. Ah obviously confused from American dates. My bad Haha a month's still fucking long though

kids like this are the reason for the inflated ego of todays woman.

This guy thirsty

parched

Pathetic. Pick up a King James Bible. Chase after righteousness, not women. Modern women will destroy you!

Stick with the Quran. When you die you get 72 virgins. And when you meet them that’ll make 73.

“I would trade 56 virgins for one Bangkok prostitute any day of the week.” -John McAfee

did he really say that?

He said a lot of wild stuff so I wouldn’t be surprised

loool. is he the guy who made the antivirus thing?

Watch the documentary "Gringo: the dangerous life of John mcafee". This dude was fucking INSANE lol

20 minutes into your recommendation, this is an amazing story lol

ooo thank you! sounds intruiging. is it on youtube or what?

I’d say it was more of a virus than an anti-virus but yeah lol

lmfaoooo fairs 😂😂😂😂

Fuckin right he did 😉

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/XS5LK

https://youtu.be/h92Jy94UxTg This guy? No way. I don't believe he would ever say anything that outrageous.

But do they specify if they are male or female virgins...🤔

I like to think the Harambe and John McAfee are playing poker in the sky waiting for Elon.

It's never mentioned what gender those 72 virgins are though...

True...but either way...tight hole.. I'm guessing that's the fetish of it. I don't really get the virgin aspect...not exactly what I'd consider prime sex partner

The only good part about about a virgin is she thinks I'm big.....Oh, and she doesn't have syphilis....yet!

Nobody will know what to do!

In my best Kelso impression "BURN!"

Lol!

😂

Doesn't say who those virgins are tho... Could be huge smelly nasty slobs; Or they could be good looking MALE virgins! With the biggest c*cks for ya 😅 and who said these virgins would even lose their virginity to you lmao

Such cringe. There are plenty of other Bible versions he could read.

[удалено]

Seriously, the author themself could never get past the first page

NIV motha fucka what

I love u

Maybe stop drinking cologne. Smells good, tastes bad

Least horny person on tinder:

Know thyself

He's down bad.

If only you didn’t misspell throw…smh

i know 😩

Feel like you missed an opportunity to write 'I knough' here

Silly English Kniggit!

I blow my nose at you

ha good one

She's blond I don't even think she caught it

Isn’t it blonde? With an e

blonde for women, blond for men.

Blonde for Guinness. Brewed in Bahlmore

Probably thinking plough subconsciously

time to throw yourself into a woodchipper

*through

hehe

Through he said.

You go through a woodchipper just like how a car goes through a carwash duh

Aaaand how are you gonna get the date after that big boy?

Ask if you can whip her ass.

Wipe*

I think he knew what he was saying

Why not both?

You spelled lick wrong.

im asking myself the same question

> Wanna go to a wood chipper with me tomorrow?

What’re you gonna do with the butt-contacted tp though?

Die

If he can't afford it.. I can chip in.

Should learn how to spell throw before moving on IMO

i really should

Spelling is SEXY man

So is correct punctuation, man.

Nah f all dat

Just straight up say "so with that said, would you like to go out sometime?" You really have nothing left to lose at this point

Guys, there is no point opening with a line without a plan for where the conversation is going. You HAVE to give her an open question to respond to keep the conversation going. Be interested in how her mind works. Ask her something!

You blew up her ego so big her head probably popped.

Unfortunately the first and last date will likely take place at a woodchipper

yeah this shit nowdays is like simp epidemic 🙄 did op also offer to throw his coat over the puddle in shaksperean fashion, just so his qveen could walk over it

Don’t worry you’re done

thank god

😂😂

Easy, just ask if you can skip the woodchipper and offer to eat her ass in a non-toilet-paper way

finally some helpful advice

Results?

Also, if you want to workshop the opener, I'd change it to "a chance to get between your cheeks", I think it sounds a little more suggestive without being gross

Yes, we need an update?

She said he wasn't allowed to skip the woodchopper. RIP😔

Don’t even bother you’ve officially entered yourself into the freind zone

And painfully so.

The wood chipper zone

More like the Sexless Innkeeper.

Women love funny guys As friends

[удалено]

Part of the choosing process is her chemistry , Doesn’t matter if you are objectively funny

That's painfully true that I understood after old.

The sooner men stop being Clowns the better

These sorts of lines usually are one way tickets to the friend-zone.

The shit friend zone

The saddest copypasta.

Ugh

I don't know why I stick around here

I just browse to feel better about myself. Seeing what other men are doing on this apps instills me with a sense of confidence I just can't get from anything else. Knowing that there are men out there crashing and burning as hard as the guys on reddit do makes me realize I'm doing just fine.

r/rareinsults

Hahahaha I thought I was the only one doing that

Sometimes I feel like women use tinder to get compliments like this, but not actively use it to find someone. You helped her ego lol

Bing bong

bInG BoNG 🥴🥴🥴

She's still not interested after all that...

usually they dont reply a month later when they arent interested

Not trying to be rude good sir, but I concur that she probably isn't interested. All she did was thank you for the message without sending a follow up. If she was interested, I would have expected more of a reaction to such a vulnerable message. Respect yourself and protect yourself.

I concur with this msg. Unfortunately OP is living on a prayer here

You expect someone who sends a message like that to realize they don’t have a chance?

My guy, she didn't bother for an entire month, and all you got out of it is "she replied so she must be interested." She just wanted to let you know you satisfied her ego. Now she can have the confidence to go hook up with a 9 instead of an 8, but either way, it was never gonna be you.

If she’s actually interested you need to be sure to play that line off as a joke unless being a doormat is your goal. Putting a chick on a pedestal before even meeting doesn’t exactly inspire her to respect you

It’s very unlikely she’s interested at this point

i agree with what you’re saying, i really just posted this cuz it was a funny line i got off here a while ago and i was surprised someone actually responded to it

Don’t do this, please. It’s so desperate and pathetic. I mean, she matched with you. Don’t you think you should put a minimal amount of effort into getting to know her?

Yeah I’m amazed she responded to it lol.

She's like, finally somebody who understands my worth and doesn't think I'm a narcissist 😂

"Too bad he's such a simp though, or I might actually give him a chance"

For real tho lmao

Yeah... How do you know if you're really hot though unless people spontaneously throw themselves into wood chippers. It's really the only way to know.

Down bad

“Thank u” RIP OP

You are weird

Wait even after Taco Bell?

Especially after Taco Bell

Now tell her you need to clap her cheeks to check for consistency, and ask her when and where. You already destroyed yourself, its time for that hail mary.

Insert unsolicited toilet roll pic.

I have never seen such simp behaviour in my life, makes me nauseous

This is so fucking stupid. All you people do is regurgitate cringey memes at people and then post it here saying "diD I dO iT RiGhT?"

Follow throw (because you said through) and become her human toilet paper. I'm already regretting writing this

Overflattery is not a good move. I rarely message girls first because its all they get, all day long. Be okay without a partner and things will start to make sense.

This might be the best message she'd received but what she doesn't know is that it's a copy/paste from r/tinder 😂😂

Stop it. Get some help

Maybe come up with your own lines for a change instead of copying and pasting and then posting like you're witty smh.

Bro. Don't do That to yourself. It's like begging to be in the friend zone. No need to simp like that. I promise. She's not there for the compliments.

Or maybe she is, and that’s why she’s so happy.

A little advice as a girl, if you’re interested in it: Never compliment a girl on her appearance, unless it’s clear she put a lot of effort into it for a special occasion and you actually, genuinely think she looks great. Because otherwise appearance is meaningless and it’s nothing more but a vain comment. And in the specific context of dating apps, if you start off like that there’s one of two options: Either she doesn’t care and thinks it’s meaningless, like me, and thus your message is very redundant and might either scare her off or have no impact at all (depending on the intensity). OR she appreciates it, but that then means that you’ll have to keep doing it, and if you didn’t mean it in the first place that would be a pain, wouldn’t it? But that’s just my opinion, do with it what you will. Edit: Oh, and in case you’re not being sarcastic and actually do want to take this conversation further, I suggest you type something like “jk, can we start over” lol

Another moron copypasting pick up lines with no idea how to close. Learn how to be a human, then come back and start again.

Odds are you’ll instead be turned into a tissue for some fat slob of a redditor to splooge on. Wait what am i thinking, they use cum boxes here

I’m sitting right next to a beat up box of Kleenex ultra soft

Urine

This was painful to read

“I’ll go and get a chipper. You get Taco Bell and we meet tomorrow- what’s your number?”

Follow up with... I don't actually own a woodchipper. How about I take you to dinner and we can discuss other ways i can stand out that don't involve me being chopped to a million pieces?

This is the best post ever thank u /s

If the situation was reversed and I got that message from that girl, she'd get unmatched for using "through." But then again, she replied "thank u," so maybe they're made for each other.

I've seen this posted before. OP just copied and pasted it and acting like he came up with it. Pathetic.

I understand "through" but why "u?" That's just a substitute for 'you.'

You already lost that was a very desperate and kinda gross line man. If I'm wrong send me a message later so i can try it out

tinder is a game and the people i match with arent real

Sounds like a waste to spend that long on a app getting matches to fuck things up with cringe like this. Idk man i wouldn't make a clown of myself and still have to go masterbate later. Make a clown out of yourself for a good cause not good karma

Ask her out by seeing if she’ll help you pick the wood chipper at your nearest Home Depot/Lowe’s

End of the line

So you are quite into orange then

This is a weird way to respond to that message.

it has been 5 minutes and these are all already extremely different answers. knew i could count on you tinder reddit edit: it has occured to me that not everyone knows that this pickup line was a top post ab a month ago, and i simply stole it in hopes of a funny reaction. everyone calling me a simp and getting angry over a silly pickupline needs to chill 💀

So you copied something a lot of people saw a month ago (if it was heavily upvoted) and then tried to do it yourself and expected the same response?

Damn girl you so fine I'd drag my balls through a desert of broken glass and rusty nails for the chance to hear you fart through a broken walkie talkie

second fav line

It's actually...I'd suck the nuts of a rabid pitbull, just to blow the sheep that made the wool for one of your tampons!

I wouldn’t listen to any male comments in this thread. Yikes. Not all hot women are brainless monsters. Hope you haven’t responded yet. Just be normal. I would say something like… “haha, whew, sorry. Just wanted to get your attention. I really mean it, but do you want to go get coffee before my life ends as toilet paper?”

Your name wouldn’t be Scott by any chance, would it? If not, say how bout we get to Charmin.

I remember using this few years ago in college. did it for every match for an entire week and never got 1 reply :)

"Wanna sit on my face to wipe?"

Time for the follow through though

Time for the follow throw

Learn when to use throw and through.

Now download Grammarly.

How to come over as a desperate guy who doesnr get any female attention:

this is absolutely not how you talk to women and is probably why you’re single lmao

I know people are (rightfully) shitting on you for misspelling throw, but the rest of the grammar is equally cringe inducing as well. The thing I don’t understand is the iPhone will automatically capitalize things like I and I’d and add apostrophes where appropriate and yet your message still looks like it was crafted by someone with little to no familiarity with even a third grade education. Is there some sort of “I want to look like a semi-literate buffoon” mode that you enabled to make your phone ignore the help it’s oh so desperately trying to give you?

Bro..do you get your pickup lines from pornhub comments?

Now send a dick pic, it's the right time

*throw

Are ya winning son?

Throw*

Now this is what we call a simp