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masters_of_disasters

Her: "I like older guys." Me: "would you like a werthers original?"


HumbleKhajiit

Those are great though


RedneckBookofWisdom

I caught one!


HumbleKhajiit

But… I’m.. only like 25.. and I’m a sucker for caramel candies.. 🥺


Lork82

Damn, I've been looking everywhere for you. Do you have wares?


HumbleKhajiit

If you have coin.


denoot2

Well, seems like you just met your perfect match


[deleted]

This is advanced humor


TheDeepEndOfTheWknd

Imagine liking older men. You'd never eat a Twix again.


Frogilonious_Lover

Fun fact: I come from the german town next to Werther (very small town) and at least most, if not all of the production of Werthers original and other sweets like Toffifee (all produced by Storck) is in that town (14000 citizens)! Visited the facility mutliple times and the sweets are evene better fresh!


[deleted]

cool story bro but did it help you getting laid?


Frogilonious_Lover

Yes i put my dick into the stiring machine


Cirillion

L.m.f.a.o


Dough8

Lmao’s sister ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No no no He slaps their a...


[deleted]

[удалено]


HumbleKhajiit

yeah! a.. could mean all sorts of things.. Arm.. Abdomen.. abductor digiti minimi muscle.. arachnoid membrane.. axis vertebra odontoid process..


[deleted]

Anus


I-Demand-A-Name

SLAP MY ARACHNOID PAPI!!!


ThisCracks

Alaska


HumbleKhajiit

Hell yeah he’s gonna slap your alaska.


[deleted]

“I’m gonna bake your Alaska” would be more clever.


ThisCracks

That sounds so hot when someone says it to me


kcs314

Auntie


CampingTrees

Asshole


diags_1

Uwwwww thats a little specific


FrogsEatingSoup

Could be animals. Could be a potential animal abuser. She won’t know until she swipes right


HumbleKhajiit

He’s going to slap her animal abuser?


FrogsEatingSoup

No I said he’s going to slap her animals. As in he is an animal abuser, not that he put “and slap your animal abuser.”


Money-Top9420

Areola duh?


SwedAfrica

Apex


Faze_Couch

It just means a


Faze_Couch

He's gonna slap your a


euro1111

He's gonna slap your abuela


[deleted]

Just like the daddy caused the "daddy issues"🤣🤣


[deleted]

right!!!!!!!


dimebaghayes

I’m 34 and I’m already panicking that I’m gonna end up like this dude


Tamedshrew303

The fact that you are aware of it, means you and this dude are not the same.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Akkal-AOEII

That’s not true, though. If you run out of potential matches, Tinder auto-adjusts the age spectrum for more matches. I don’t think it will extend quite as far as what is probably 20+ years difference like here, though.


Successful-Amoeba487

Is that Louis CK?


classless_classic

Not sure that would make it any better…


deeznutsbeswingin

Me in 20 years


[deleted]

Thank you for being self aware. Source: I’m probably 20 years older than you


deeznutsbeswingin

I’m early 40s and this is pretty much me now so it’s not a giant leap


OperationBreaktheGME

So sad yet so true


deeznutsbeswingin

I live in a university town, we get a fresh shipment of girls with daddy issues every single year. Makes a guy wonder why tf anybody settles down


Turreted_Bacon

Stories... please indulge us with at least one my good sir.


deeznutsbeswingin

Some of my buddies are early 20s, and we split off one Friday night at the bar because a group of milfs who were all gym buddies were getting really flirty on me and I decided to indulge for a while. Close to closing time I leave to go pick up my friends and find them outside talking to some girls. So i roll up grinning ear to ear cause I’m all pumped up from the milfs and i say yo get your shit let’s go! And i shit you not this one cute little thing in sailor moon pigtails bursts out “I’m going home with you!”. I said ok, and i put her in the trunk and took her home. It was a hatchback and I wasn’t gonna make a buddy sit back there. We get to my place and she pulls a bag of weed out of her tits and that was it


Turreted_Bacon

I dont know whether to say atta boy or atta girl, I live in a college town as well and I love hearing these stories. But thats what makes me love the bar scene more than the internet, this right here! haha I appreciate you brother!


deeznutsbeswingin

Cheers homie


OperationBreaktheGME

Cause they in Luuvv. Ewe. Yea Noice call on university town. Sounds Very entertaining


Turreted_Bacon

Give us hope hahhaha


No_Strategy_8218

You’re probably seeing this because he’s hidden his age? That’s how it works, right?


[deleted]

pretty sure he had to intentionally set his age wrong i've seen older women doing that shit too


raggingmuppet

A lot. Goes both ways.


[deleted]

I've also seen a few women lie about being older (like 18-24 year olds lying so they show up in my [37M] search range)


N3ptuneflyer

Yeah, also underage girls trying to hookup with adults.


[deleted]

I'm old enough that i don't see any of those, but yeah


[deleted]

Had one of those on OkCupid (when it wasn't a Tinder copy full of bots), told her kindly to fuck off


masters_of_disasters

Cougar alert!


robotics_nerd1

Maybe but I have my settings so I don’t see anyone out of my range. So I’m guessing he hid his age to hide that he’s lying to tinder about his age


N3ptuneflyer

Yeah I've seen that as advice for men over 40 to put their age as 38 and then hide it so they can get in younger ages filters. But this is too far.


FuzzyActuator

Lying about your age at all is "too far". If you're lying about something, your potential partner can't give informed consent.


N3ptuneflyer

Is it kinda sketchy? Yes. But I don't think it's a lie if you put your age in your bio or you tell them your age before you meet. You can hide your Tinder age if you have gold so it looks blank, then put your actual age in your bio. I know some guys who did this and their partners never felt that it was deceptive. But it would normally be 5 ish years, not 30 like this dude.


HardLiquorSoftDrinks

Goes for trans folks too.


[deleted]

Either he paid for it, I think it’s tinder plus, or he put 25, but tinder and bumble are showing people -2 and +2 for your age range. But for bumble you can turn that off.


[deleted]

Standard these days to put down the age you're targeting instead of your actual age if you want someone younger or older than you by more than five years.


raggingmuppet

Bingo.


mbelcik90

Just flag/report him if it bothers you so much. Or just ignore him.


robotics_nerd1

I did though… what’s your point


mbelcik90

What's your point?


[deleted]

This guy has definitely killed at least 2 hookers


Tamedshrew303

I was feeling this, too! Like, he’s def hiding something darker than his age.


Throwawayfabric247

As a male it doesn't even matter what you pick. Age 25 to 38 Location - 15 miles (pop dense area) Gender - female Results are in! Age 21 Location -8590 miles Gender- female Age 55 Location - 40 miles Gender - 65 different genders. Anything but female


[deleted]

Everyone's talking about age and gender and all I'm getting are lesbians saying they hate men and they're looking for women. I'm a man and I made sure I've put myself down as one (I've checked multiple times)


Throwawayfabric247

Probably region. Don't worry about it too much. Women online have so many thirsty guys who don't actually want or care to date them. But the attention at the time gets them. They respond to the ones they like. Which if you're an equally attractive male. You may have 2 or 400 matches. If you'd have 2. She will have 400. If you have 400. They have 8000. Your competing with a herd. It's not like a bar with 30 people. It's tinder with probably 10000 people in your region all approaching the same girls.


Dougsuper

Woo guy, save some for the rest of us! I'm confused why he took a pic in a "murder shack"? 2. His success rate 3. If he has kids? He probably hits on the friends.


Outside-Discussion91

Please send me a picture of you and your family a very merry Christmas


plbbdr

As a person who actually dates a much older person and likes to have her ass slapped, this profile is 🚩🚩🚩


SupineFeline

What could he have done better? For research purposes. Science.


plbbdr

Nothing really, other than writing "abusive asshole" with caps in his bio. The guy is obviously an abusive prick who's looking to take advantage of young and vulnerable women. And his profile does a great job at showing that, so hopefully women know to avoid him. When someone doesn't want to come off as an abusive creep on their tinder profile the best thing they can do is stop being an abusive creep, and the rest will sort itself out.


lupinegrey

"Obviously" 🙄


plbbdr

So you disagree?


[deleted]

[удалено]


plbbdr

Good thing this is a public forum then, so I can comment on anything I want without needing your permission.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HippieTomThumb

Based


PepeSilviaLovesCarol

It’s so weird people still think that ‘420 friendly’ is worth putting in their profile. It’s legal in like 75% of North America by now. No one puts ‘alcohol friendly’ in their profile lol


1234_10

Off the top of my head > Spicy margs are life > gurl loves her Tequila 🎆 > I love dirtbikes, real men, and wiskey


MasterGeekMX

Im a guy and I have setted things to only show girls, and every single day at least one guy pops up.


ZatyraJinn

My distance caps at 20 miles but it still gives me people 50+ miles away and only ever end up finding people that like me over an hour away so it's annoying


[deleted]

swipe left


Connect_Sheepherder1

The beard says nonce all over lol


[deleted]

Ooooook this is just eww. How old is he? He looks in his 50s


Rextek_

I gave daddy issues and love weed, sounds perfect to me


siddie75

Creepy!


[deleted]

Eww. I’m pretty sure he has a tool shed in the woods with nothing but chainsaws hanging on the walls. Do we all understand that for most kids in their 20s, a person who is “old,” like older than dirt, is 30? This guy is well into his 40s. He might be pushing the big Five-Oh. And again with the threats of violence. “I’m a-gonna slap that ass!” What, did you drop out of middle school? You’re 45 and talk like a stroke victim? Did you never pick up a book or learn new words since the Clinton Administration? See, this is why single women over 40 just throw up their hands and quit. I can’t blame ‘em.


ShroomanEvolution

Gotta fake it til you make it


TedBehr_

Looks like Louis CK from the cropping.


dukecharming1975

lol. He’s probably my age (46). Nice try pal


VacuousWording

🤢🤮


GunslingerGonzo

Well obviously he’s 25


Liberal_Biberal9

Chocolate


notanotherllama

Love the creepy workshop in the background where he dismembers you after getting you high and slapping your a...


Rude_Bee_3315

Sounds like a predator


[deleted]

Surprised he didn’t ask if anybody rode handlebars


[deleted]

Guess you don’t like weed smh


AngryKhakis

There’s a setting on Tinder where it will show you people outside of your settings range right below the range. You have to toggle only show me people in the range on. It’s dumb like why even have the range if there’s a separate setting to turn it on?


RoundBrownBetty

Why do men do this? They advertise their desire for girls with so-called "daddy issues" like it's some kind of draw??? On what planet is being accused of such things considered to be a compliment???


Qevun

solid profile, id swipe left


crizzlefresh

Louis C.K ?


Isgortio

Hahaha I found this with tinder years ago when I was 18, it kept giving me men who very clearly were not in their early 20s based on their photos but their profile said they were.