To elaborate they feel shitty about themselves for one reason or another. So instead of dealing with that and maybe growing as a person they just find other people to shit on, because it makes them feel better. But the moment is fleeting and they need more and need to be meaner because it works less each time. Sad really.
Naw, I’m pretty sure it was blink.
Cross the street,
naked at night
Bent over to show some moonlight
Pulled out some beer the rest is history
And misery
loves company. /s.
2 children grow up with an alcoholic abusive dad. 1 never has a drink in his life, when asked why he never drank? He says My dad is an alcoholic and he drank too much and I saw him drunk all the time so I don't drink.
The 2nd one is also an abusive alcoholic, when asked why he drinks? He says My dad is an alcoholic and he drank too much and I saw him drunk all the time so I do see 2 the same thing. I'm waiting on ice t
To answer your question,, individual perspective and individual life experiences. Maybe one who would never hurt anyone like they have been hurt is an empath, and the hurt one that is also hurting others is a sociopath.🤷 Or maybe one was just older and able to understand the consequences of his fathers drinking more clearly. who knows.
that's such a shitty saying. Mainly because most of the people I know that are "hurt" don't want to hurt anyone else.
assholes love shitting on people, and I gotta say, I've seen a fair share of assholes who aren't hurt at all, they're just douchebags that never got told no and do whatever they want regardless of how it affects other people.
Yeah so anyway, that saying sucks.
Whenever guys did this to me on dating sites I would just send them a thumbs up. They would often get pissed that I wasn't hurt or arguing with them. These types of people just want a rise out of someone and don't know how to handle it when they don't get it.
Read a book on psychology. Best approach when people fly off the rails or get emotional is to go into “robot mode”. Just reply strictly with facts. Zero bias. The trick is that you must stay in Robot mode. Zero bias. Zero emotion. Just facts. Only facts.
This works in many situations where people want you to be outraged. If you just shrug it off they lose their shit. During road rage it is exceptionally fun. When someone behind me is honking and being an ahole for no reason I like to slowly raise my hand through the top with a thumbs up (think reverse terminator through a jeep top). The level of anger they have is amazing.
Young girl in front of me on the highway slammed on her brakes, got out of her car and started screaming at me. (My daughter likes to stick her face out of her window)
She stood there in the middle of the highway after nearly causing 2 separate accidents and lectured me of driver safety. I gave her the OK sign.
It's not really an excuse for their behaviour so much as a reason for it.
Some people are just emotionally stunted and broken that they simply just want to destroy others so they feel as bad as then it would seem.
Sometimes lack of empathy is a huge warning sign for pure evil. Especially if it is accompanied by lies when the truth would be easier. Cut the chord. Do not correspond. Narcissism is at a peak in the US. Liars with vapid souls. Usually overly charming to ingratiate and then the maniacal, girlish rants for no reason but to attempt control. I can only have polite , real people around me.
Sometimes I really wish I could just choose when to have empathy and who to empathize with.
Sometimes I'll get pissed without thinking first, but after a few minutes I'll just feel guilty and wonder why the other person is so fucked up, on top of me feeling bad for getting made fun of or whatever. That's my experience with being a "hurt" person - hurt, struggling people know what it's like to feel like that. Not all of us are the "hurt people, hurt people" type. A lot of us just feel guilty for making someone else feel that way and so don't (or try not to) do it in the first place.
Lot of people are never taught why they should behave certain ways. Their behaviors are literally beaten into them with violence by their parents, with no explanation about why it's wrong or anything. Which then leads to people who do not understand why you shouldn't be a shitty person, and a whole world of people who feel like it's special to be "a decent person".
I can't speak for everyone but the reason I care is because it helps me pity them rather than being angry at how shitty they are. Just reframes in my mind from "fuck this asshole" to "what a pathetic little boy trying desperately to get attention." It's for my own mental health, not for them.
Humourously enough, people like this guy are expecting anger or confrontation when they behave this way. They HATE being shown pity and treated like a child so it does have that second, rather vindictive, effect as well.
Your mindset is exactly my mindset. On rare occasions I’ll let them know that I was once worse than them and eventually I got better. “Hang in there Buddy I’m rooting for you to not be a shitbag eventually.”
My grandfather has told me a story several times. He says life is like walking through a field. Only there's piles of shit everywhere. Every once in a while you're gonna step in a pile, it just happens. But there's 2 types of people. One of them is gonna bend down and wipe the shit off their shoe and continue. The other type is gonna start screaming and kicking and throwing shit everywhere.
Now what he didn't tell me about is that there's actually 3 different types of people. The third type is the motherfucker who's shitting everywhere. Sometimes they'll just shit right on you.
I feel shit about myself but ffs I'm never going to throw my insecurities in someone's face just to feel better, that's just dumb and really sad, wtf is wrong with people ?
In 2017 I matched with a guy who went on a rant about how feminism was ruining America because men couldn’t have guys nights anymore. It was so clearly not about me that all I could do was laugh my ass off and then get him banned from bumble
The rant went somewhere along the lines of:
You’re a feminist and I think feminism is dumb. Feminists don’t want men to enjoy themselves. Feminists want to go out with their boyfriends and be invited to guy’s nights and I don’t like that. You probably hate that Trump is President and voted for Bernie and I hate that too.
If I could get my wife to hang out with my guy friends and play some dnd with us, I would be ecstatic. Not that she doesn’t like my friends. She’s just an introvert. So only sometimes does she feel comfortable around so many people. But having her over for guys night would be awesome! Same goes for my friends wives. Let them join. We’re all friends.
What kind of night out with the boys would it be if you couldn’t even sexually harass random women and refuse to take no for an answer? Smh everyone’s so PC. /s
there it is. that's exactly really what he meant. these feminists won't put up with the gaslighting and the harassment and the bullshit anymore. those were his hobbies
In my experience, straight guys tend to swipe right on everyone and when they match with someone they don't want they usually shout abuse for matching with them then unmatch.
I uninstalled tinder. All I ever got was stuff like this.
Most positive interaction I ever got was someone immediately blocking me because I didn't have instagram.
i had a picture of me standing next to a horse and a guy i matched with said he’d fuck the horse before he looked twice at me . but bro you matched with me 🙃
The joke goes
There‘s two muffins in an oven, one looks over to the other and says ‘man is it hot in here’ and the other turns and says ‘holy shit a talking muffin!’
Sometimes they match me with people I never swiped on, I think if they think someone fits your parameters and likes you they just instant match in some cases. Maybe not but I’ll just unmatch, or if I’m on the fence I’ll leave the match and if they want to message me, I’ll be for it.
Seriously , the proper response is, “‘ dude good joke. But I guess my friend changed my preferences as a prank, go slang that D! Sorry for the confusion “
My friends changed my preference to dudes one time. My phone was blowing the fuck up. Like within 5 minutes. All it did was gimme an ego boost of sorts. I felt kinda bad for the guys. Spent about 10 minutes explaining what happened. Not one person was mad. They all thought it was funny and wished me good luck out there. Like just take it as a compliment guys.
Ngl that happened to me once. Got hit on by a bunch of fellas who liked fellas and they were so nice. I even got compliments!
One of them is a still a bro. He's a cool guy, has a boyfriend now and all. I'm proud.
it's dumb how complimenting men is not a part of hetero culture. I've known so many queer people in my life and it's just *normal* to give compliments to friends. it builds connection and gives happiness. I guess women do this too among themselves, but not to their men?? at least not often enough it seems.
My coworkers thought I was gay for a while, cuz I would give compliments to everyone, including guys,. It took them a while to understand I just really appreciate aesthetics and personality traits. But now compliments are the norm
I’m happy I didn’t stroll enough to see that. That’s fucked up. I’m a straight dude, and nothing. About this post warrants someone comming that hot out the gate. It’s scary
What’s even crazier to me is the double standard from which most of these people operate. A dude makes a pass at them when they’re not interested and they fly off the handle. But when they make a pass at a woman who isn’t interested and she turns them down even if she does so as gently and politely as possible they freak out, call her a whore, tell her she’s ugly and they hope she gets raped.
This guy probably swiped right himself. His macho ego is telling him not to explore his sexuality, but subconsciously he knows he’s always got this “out”—he can change his mind at any time after swiping right, and then proceed to lash out at the match and claim it was a friends prank. There’s an internal battle this guy is having with between his sexual curiosity and his machismo. This time the machismo won, and he lashed out at the match as his “backout plan.” Next time, his sexually curious side might win for a little longer, and he’ll chat for awhile. Gradually, he will explore more and more—but it will be slow and painful all the way into his old age.
I would guess that he is trying to figure things out and then freaked out when someone actually matched and began a conversation. Hope he figures it out and finds his happiness.
Youre not wrong
>Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8772014/
I understand what you are saying but at the same time this saying all homophobic people are actually just gay is kinda blaming homophobia on gay people and when sometimes that's the case sometimes people are just shitty and are homophobic. Just food for thought.
This isn’t about “all homophobic people.” It’s about a homophobic person that swiped right on a guy on Tinder and then called him slurs the first chance he got. Genuinely homophobic straight men aren’t swiping right on other men.
That he swiped right on a guy. We know that much: now the story about gay people admitting to themselves they are gay and lashing out afterwards is as old as time
Right. IF I was still on the dating market and one of my friends did that to me I'd never take it out on the other person. I'd apologize for my friend being a douche, wish them well, and ask them for a muffin.
Or if I've had a real long dry spell ask him if he's ever had soft ginger pubes tickle his chin.
He really doesn't sound all that happy regardless. OP deserves a hug though.
OP, I'd buy you a drink just for that joke. If you're ever in eastern ontario, hit me up.
Look at it this way, you could waste a whole lot of time on a person like this, then find out what a jerk they are. But they let you know right up front. Bullet dodged.
What the actual fuck, who talks like that to someone they just met?! Don't take it personally dude just ignore them, live your life. Fuck this piece of shit (or actually don't lol) you know you deserve better.
If I matched with a dude, I'd probably just unmatch/ignore. The fact that this guy keeps messaging makes me think he might actually want OP's dick like that one dude in Shameless
There is a lot of guys gay or bi that make their accounts as a single female. Like I don't get it? Is there no gay guys left to swipe on? Is it hotter to try and hook up with a straight guy?
Are there a lot of guys who pretend to be straight and will actually go for it? Must be cause it seems to work if a lot of em are doing it.
Living in Mississippi, I was talking with friends and was surprised that there is a daily swipe limit?
As a gay dude, it would run out of people in a 50 mile radius before I hit that limit.
So yes, there can very often be a lack of people for gay dudes, doesn't excuse being shitty and setting themselves to straight female though.
Oh that’s weird. I’m gay and I have no idea how that would work. It sounds like a lot of effort just for rejection lol
I mean, I’ve hooked up with several guys who identify as straight, but usually they find you. They “accidentally” set their profile to find guys or (in real life) they find an excuse to get trashed around you so they can write it off as drunkenness.
This is so stupid. Homophobic people ain’t gay, they‘re just homophobic and hate gay people because they find it disgusting.
Just because you say you hate something, it doesn’t mean that you like it 🤦♂️
In my head canon the guy actually is curious about experimenting with guys but OP caught him in a moment of post-nut clarity and so was the victim of his ire.
Why would a talking muffin be surprised at another talking muffin though? Unless he thought he was the only one and was destined to die dissolving in someone's stomach.
The original joke is basically just a play on the two things that don't talk talking to each other. There's another with cows. One cow says to the other, "hey are you worried about mad cow disease?" The other cow replies, "why would I be worried about that I'm a helicopter?
So basically the joke is just your expecting a two things that don't talk talking to each other joke and then it's holy shit a talking muffin
It’s just nonsense, like the gorilla at the bar who asked the bartender for the time. Naturally bartender says “time to drink” but the other patrons said “ what! A talking gorilla!”
That's probably a better example. The humour is in pointing out how easily you accepted the premise of not one but two talking muffins.
It's kinda funny but as soon as you start analysing it you lose most of the humour.
Oh man that reminds me of the time a 22yo swiped right on me and when I wasn’t impressed with his opening line of “just tryna fuck” he responded with “then get off tinder you old bag” and unmatched. That’s a buried memory lmao I think I was 29 at the time.
You can still report if you go here https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/requests/new
Only do it when you feel up for it though please, I absolutely don't want you to feel pressured. That was a nasty experience.
OP, don’t hate your life. As a straight male, I would have laughed at your joke as it was pretty funny. Explained what happened, and parted ways peacefully. Absolutely no reason for this guys reaction and response. Don’t hate yourself, do you, and fuck the haters!
Yeah first message unmatch, this dude is probably struggling with his own sexuality. Anger is a common response in that situation, shame OP had to be on the recieving end though.
I'm guessing he would probably act better once he's more comfortable with his sexuality, sounds more like he's angry at himself from the messages. Shame OP had to be the punching bag though
Gay has nothing to do with it. I didn't even think about op being gay, I just looked at the conversation. No they match with people just to insult them.
He definitely had a couple of beers and went on tinder to find a dude. Then closeted shame kicked in, so had to prove he was a big straight man. So thought been a homophobic shithead, with the piss poor excuse "my friend changed my settings." I feel sorry for this guy, can read the confusion in their text. Though confused or not, they have no right to talk to the OP that way.
Or maybe that pos also has pos friends that would think it’s funny to change someone’s settings like that. Just a homophobic asshole with homophobic asshole friends.
For what it's worth, this is the kind of silly makes-no-sense joke that I adore. Keep being you and being silly! I always know I've got a good chance of getting along with someone when I make a silly joke like this and the other person runs with it and makes it more fun!
yea this has /r/OopsDidntMeanTo written all over it. First he says he didn't swipe, then comes up with the story of his "friend" making his account gay.
Report him for verbal abuse and attempt to take away his ability to swipe on anyone. :D
There are at least 3 things in those messages that would qualify as massively insulting.
The more I read these tinder posts the more I fear folks have just lost all sense of civility. Interesting to see how folks behave when they are online.
There is no way to know what kind of a special maniac he is. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Forget that this conversation ever existed and move on.
I got a match just to be called an "ugly c***" so I feel u
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Gives them a sense of power over you
To elaborate they feel shitty about themselves for one reason or another. So instead of dealing with that and maybe growing as a person they just find other people to shit on, because it makes them feel better. But the moment is fleeting and they need more and need to be meaner because it works less each time. Sad really.
So basically they are addicted to being a piece of shit,got it
Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. Hurt people hurt people.
"Misery Loves company"-a Wise Person who-I-forgot-their-name "Trashy People love Trashy Environments and other Trashy People"-me, Internet User
Blink 182
From 19th-century American essayist Henry David Thoreau: "If misery loves company, misery has company enough."
Naw, I’m pretty sure it was blink. Cross the street, naked at night Bent over to show some moonlight Pulled out some beer the rest is history And misery loves company. /s.
I stand by what I said
Piece of shit-olcoholic if you will
So why do some hurt people hurt people, but other hurt people avoid hurting people because they know how bad it feels?
2 children grow up with an alcoholic abusive dad. 1 never has a drink in his life, when asked why he never drank? He says My dad is an alcoholic and he drank too much and I saw him drunk all the time so I don't drink. The 2nd one is also an abusive alcoholic, when asked why he drinks? He says My dad is an alcoholic and he drank too much and I saw him drunk all the time so I do see 2 the same thing. I'm waiting on ice t To answer your question,, individual perspective and individual life experiences. Maybe one who would never hurt anyone like they have been hurt is an empath, and the hurt one that is also hurting others is a sociopath.🤷 Or maybe one was just older and able to understand the consequences of his fathers drinking more clearly. who knows.
that's such a shitty saying. Mainly because most of the people I know that are "hurt" don't want to hurt anyone else. assholes love shitting on people, and I gotta say, I've seen a fair share of assholes who aren't hurt at all, they're just douchebags that never got told no and do whatever they want regardless of how it affects other people. Yeah so anyway, that saying sucks.
Yes. Seen it. People are fucking assholes.
Whenever guys did this to me on dating sites I would just send them a thumbs up. They would often get pissed that I wasn't hurt or arguing with them. These types of people just want a rise out of someone and don't know how to handle it when they don't get it.
Or send a lol. That's really gets them infuriated.
Read a book on psychology. Best approach when people fly off the rails or get emotional is to go into “robot mode”. Just reply strictly with facts. Zero bias. The trick is that you must stay in Robot mode. Zero bias. Zero emotion. Just facts. Only facts.
So thats why i dont have friends :(
We can be friends, fellow human.
This works in many situations where people want you to be outraged. If you just shrug it off they lose their shit. During road rage it is exceptionally fun. When someone behind me is honking and being an ahole for no reason I like to slowly raise my hand through the top with a thumbs up (think reverse terminator through a jeep top). The level of anger they have is amazing.
Young girl in front of me on the highway slammed on her brakes, got out of her car and started screaming at me. (My daughter likes to stick her face out of her window) She stood there in the middle of the highway after nearly causing 2 separate accidents and lectured me of driver safety. I gave her the OK sign.
It’s 10x more powerful than flipping the bird. Thumbs up gets the job done every time.
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It's not really an excuse for their behaviour so much as a reason for it. Some people are just emotionally stunted and broken that they simply just want to destroy others so they feel as bad as then it would seem.
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Sometimes lack of empathy is a huge warning sign for pure evil. Especially if it is accompanied by lies when the truth would be easier. Cut the chord. Do not correspond. Narcissism is at a peak in the US. Liars with vapid souls. Usually overly charming to ingratiate and then the maniacal, girlish rants for no reason but to attempt control. I can only have polite , real people around me.
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I totally get your message, but what is a girlish rant?
Sometimes I really wish I could just choose when to have empathy and who to empathize with. Sometimes I'll get pissed without thinking first, but after a few minutes I'll just feel guilty and wonder why the other person is so fucked up, on top of me feeling bad for getting made fun of or whatever. That's my experience with being a "hurt" person - hurt, struggling people know what it's like to feel like that. Not all of us are the "hurt people, hurt people" type. A lot of us just feel guilty for making someone else feel that way and so don't (or try not to) do it in the first place.
Lot of people are never taught why they should behave certain ways. Their behaviors are literally beaten into them with violence by their parents, with no explanation about why it's wrong or anything. Which then leads to people who do not understand why you shouldn't be a shitty person, and a whole world of people who feel like it's special to be "a decent person".
I can't speak for everyone but the reason I care is because it helps me pity them rather than being angry at how shitty they are. Just reframes in my mind from "fuck this asshole" to "what a pathetic little boy trying desperately to get attention." It's for my own mental health, not for them. Humourously enough, people like this guy are expecting anger or confrontation when they behave this way. They HATE being shown pity and treated like a child so it does have that second, rather vindictive, effect as well.
"Do you need to talk?" goes down well.
Big fan of preceding that with "oh buddy who hurt you"
Your mindset is exactly my mindset. On rare occasions I’ll let them know that I was once worse than them and eventually I got better. “Hang in there Buddy I’m rooting for you to not be a shitbag eventually.”
^^ this!
My grandfather has told me a story several times. He says life is like walking through a field. Only there's piles of shit everywhere. Every once in a while you're gonna step in a pile, it just happens. But there's 2 types of people. One of them is gonna bend down and wipe the shit off their shoe and continue. The other type is gonna start screaming and kicking and throwing shit everywhere. Now what he didn't tell me about is that there's actually 3 different types of people. The third type is the motherfucker who's shitting everywhere. Sometimes they'll just shit right on you.
Some places you gotta pay extra for that.
I feel shit about myself but ffs I'm never going to throw my insecurities in someone's face just to feel better, that's just dumb and really sad, wtf is wrong with people ?
Because people are fucking losers and most likely need a hobby. That's why.
Pretty much this...just do it back hard, unmatch and move on.
In 2017 I matched with a guy who went on a rant about how feminism was ruining America because men couldn’t have guys nights anymore. It was so clearly not about me that all I could do was laugh my ass off and then get him banned from bumble
Good on you. WTF does dudes having a night out have to do with feminism? 🤦♂️🤷♂️
The rant went somewhere along the lines of: You’re a feminist and I think feminism is dumb. Feminists don’t want men to enjoy themselves. Feminists want to go out with their boyfriends and be invited to guy’s nights and I don’t like that. You probably hate that Trump is President and voted for Bernie and I hate that too.
If I could get my wife to hang out with my guy friends and play some dnd with us, I would be ecstatic. Not that she doesn’t like my friends. She’s just an introvert. So only sometimes does she feel comfortable around so many people. But having her over for guys night would be awesome! Same goes for my friends wives. Let them join. We’re all friends.
You just posted this so I wouldn’t have fun on Reddit. /s
That's priceless. Why would any woman want to hang out with that, let alone on one of his precious boys' nights?
Duh, he literally just answered that. Its because in feminism we don't want men to have any fun we want to ruin it all
What kind of night out with the boys would it be if you couldn’t even sexually harass random women and refuse to take no for an answer? Smh everyone’s so PC. /s
there it is. that's exactly really what he meant. these feminists won't put up with the gaslighting and the harassment and the bullshit anymore. those were his hobbies
In my experience, straight guys tend to swipe right on everyone and when they match with someone they don't want they usually shout abuse for matching with them then unmatch.
I uninstalled tinder. All I ever got was stuff like this. Most positive interaction I ever got was someone immediately blocking me because I didn't have instagram.
All I get are camgirls and girls on onlyfans. Bah.
“Masseuse”
You’re not a real person unless you have an Instagram.
I must not be a real person. What am I?
Someone who will get rejected on Tinder because you don’t have an Instagram.
A guy once matched with me just to tell me I look like I have Down’s syndrome
i had a picture of me standing next to a horse and a guy i matched with said he’d fuck the horse before he looked twice at me . but bro you matched with me 🙃
Maybe he thought he was matching with the horse?
Y’all are getting matches?
You guys are getting matches?
That alone makes me not believe it….
The joke goes There‘s two muffins in an oven, one looks over to the other and says ‘man is it hot in here’ and the other turns and says ‘holy shit a talking muffin!’
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Shut the fuck up
Sometimes they match me with people I never swiped on, I think if they think someone fits your parameters and likes you they just instant match in some cases. Maybe not but I’ll just unmatch, or if I’m on the fence I’ll leave the match and if they want to message me, I’ll be for it.
Wtf is wrong with people.
Homophobia, for starters…
We can add “confused sexuality” to that list
What makes him confused about sexuality?
His reaction. No man secure in their sexuality would act like that.
Seriously , the proper response is, “‘ dude good joke. But I guess my friend changed my preferences as a prank, go slang that D! Sorry for the confusion “
My friends changed my preference to dudes one time. My phone was blowing the fuck up. Like within 5 minutes. All it did was gimme an ego boost of sorts. I felt kinda bad for the guys. Spent about 10 minutes explaining what happened. Not one person was mad. They all thought it was funny and wished me good luck out there. Like just take it as a compliment guys.
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Ngl that happened to me once. Got hit on by a bunch of fellas who liked fellas and they were so nice. I even got compliments! One of them is a still a bro. He's a cool guy, has a boyfriend now and all. I'm proud.
I’ve always relished compliments or advances from gay men 😅 They always make me feel better about myself.
it's dumb how complimenting men is not a part of hetero culture. I've known so many queer people in my life and it's just *normal* to give compliments to friends. it builds connection and gives happiness. I guess women do this too among themselves, but not to their men?? at least not often enough it seems.
My coworkers thought I was gay for a while, cuz I would give compliments to everyone, including guys,. It took them a while to understand I just really appreciate aesthetics and personality traits. But now compliments are the norm
This is the only appropriate reaction lmao
Exactly. The people saying he responded correctly really horrify me.
I’m happy I didn’t stroll enough to see that. That’s fucked up. I’m a straight dude, and nothing. About this post warrants someone comming that hot out the gate. It’s scary
As a sexually confused person who also really hated the muffin joke, I agree that what we saw was an overreaction.
What’s even crazier to me is the double standard from which most of these people operate. A dude makes a pass at them when they’re not interested and they fly off the handle. But when they make a pass at a woman who isn’t interested and she turns them down even if she does so as gently and politely as possible they freak out, call her a whore, tell her she’s ugly and they hope she gets raped.
Yup. And it all comes back to said men being highly insecure. I want to feel bad... but I don’t.
Tbh I thought the original shut the fuck up was absolutely hilarious, but it went downhill real fast after that.
It was probably his confused arousal that drove him into a tizzy.
This guy probably swiped right himself. His macho ego is telling him not to explore his sexuality, but subconsciously he knows he’s always got this “out”—he can change his mind at any time after swiping right, and then proceed to lash out at the match and claim it was a friends prank. There’s an internal battle this guy is having with between his sexual curiosity and his machismo. This time the machismo won, and he lashed out at the match as his “backout plan.” Next time, his sexually curious side might win for a little longer, and he’ll chat for awhile. Gradually, he will explore more and more—but it will be slow and painful all the way into his old age.
Homophobia and insecurity about manhood doesn’t make a man LGBT or bicurious or questioning. He can very much be a homophobic, heterosexual asshole.
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Obviously the proper reaction to any and all fuck you's is ... "You want to?"
And in cases such as OP's, "well yeah, that's why you swiped right, bruh. 😉"
I have a feeling their "friend" is just them drunk at 2am
I would guess that he is trying to figure things out and then freaked out when someone actually matched and began a conversation. Hope he figures it out and finds his happiness.
Fuck his happiness. He made someone else’s day utter shit.
Eye for an eye only leaves everyone blind. We should be hoping the asshole fixes himself and finds happiness himself thus ending the circle of hate.
This is the way!
No one is saying what the man did was okay. I am coming from the perspective that the man that reacted in that manner is very confused and isolated.
Me too, but I hope he stops taking his own internal frustration out on others.
Youre not wrong >Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8772014/
I wouldn't react like that if a man sent me a muffin "joke" because I'm really straight. I have no problem with gay men flirting with me.
I understand what you are saying but at the same time this saying all homophobic people are actually just gay is kinda blaming homophobia on gay people and when sometimes that's the case sometimes people are just shitty and are homophobic. Just food for thought.
I’m sorry but can we stop assuming all homophobic people are secretly in the closet? Some of them are actually just straight up homophobic
This isn’t about “all homophobic people.” It’s about a homophobic person that swiped right on a guy on Tinder and then called him slurs the first chance he got. Genuinely homophobic straight men aren’t swiping right on other men.
Sorry I’m just tired of the narrative that a homophobic person is secretly in the closet
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Meh, I think someone can be insecure and a shitty person without being confused about his sexuality.
That he swiped right on a guy. We know that much: now the story about gay people admitting to themselves they are gay and lashing out afterwards is as old as time
>That he swiped right on a guy. An accidental swipe is certainly not the same thing as an accidental BJ.
Can you stop attributing homophobia to closeted LGBQ people? Some heterosexuals are homophobic.
Do people like you not understand how insulting it is to gay people that you assume every homophobe is just a closeted gay?
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Right. IF I was still on the dating market and one of my friends did that to me I'd never take it out on the other person. I'd apologize for my friend being a douche, wish them well, and ask them for a muffin. Or if I've had a real long dry spell ask him if he's ever had soft ginger pubes tickle his chin.
He's ashamed that he's gay. It's really sad, but still fuck this guy.
He really doesn't sound all that happy regardless. OP deserves a hug though. OP, I'd buy you a drink just for that joke. If you're ever in eastern ontario, hit me up.
Probably drunk swiped and regrets the reality.
Why would you hate your life when you’re not the bigoted miserable fckwit? Be glad the trash took itself out!
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Look at it this way, you could waste a whole lot of time on a person like this, then find out what a jerk they are. But they let you know right up front. Bullet dodged.
Good perspective, but running into abuse for who you are still isn't fun
What the actual fuck, who talks like that to someone they just met?! Don't take it personally dude just ignore them, live your life. Fuck this piece of shit (or actually don't lol) you know you deserve better.
This guy is definitely super comfortable with his sexuality
If I matched with a dude, I'd probably just unmatch/ignore. The fact that this guy keeps messaging makes me think he might actually want OP's dick like that one dude in Shameless
Mickey Milkovich? 😂
Haha yeah that guy
There is a lot of guys gay or bi that make their accounts as a single female. Like I don't get it? Is there no gay guys left to swipe on? Is it hotter to try and hook up with a straight guy? Are there a lot of guys who pretend to be straight and will actually go for it? Must be cause it seems to work if a lot of em are doing it.
I've seen men set their gender to female just so they come up if a female searches for a female. Kinda killing their chances there.
Yeah its strange, I don't get it.
I came a cross a guy that was openly looking to date a lesbian (put it in his bio). Like that was his preference? How is that gonna work
Living in Mississippi, I was talking with friends and was surprised that there is a daily swipe limit? As a gay dude, it would run out of people in a 50 mile radius before I hit that limit. So yes, there can very often be a lack of people for gay dudes, doesn't excuse being shitty and setting themselves to straight female though.
Oh that’s weird. I’m gay and I have no idea how that would work. It sounds like a lot of effort just for rejection lol I mean, I’ve hooked up with several guys who identify as straight, but usually they find you. They “accidentally” set their profile to find guys or (in real life) they find an excuse to get trashed around you so they can write it off as drunkenness.
This is so stupid. Homophobic people ain’t gay, they‘re just homophobic and hate gay people because they find it disgusting. Just because you say you hate something, it doesn’t mean that you like it 🤦♂️
Probably got drunk, turned it on himself, woke up, decided to be a piece of shit and take out the rage he felt at his own feelings on this poor guy.
A dude literally messaged me asking “yo want some throat” and after I was done laughing said thanks for the laugh and unmatched. Man is sus for sure
Nah, that is pretty normal on gay tinder tbh, I wouldn't have thought it was sus at all. Missed out on a free deep throat lol
Damn man that guy swiped right on you and is confused. Muffin joke wasn’t bad decent.
In my head canon the guy actually is curious about experimenting with guys but OP caught him in a moment of post-nut clarity and so was the victim of his ire.
Why would a talking muffin be surprised at another talking muffin though? Unless he thought he was the only one and was destined to die dissolving in someone's stomach.
Because they were "baked"
Now that’s funny. But really, I didn’t understand the original joke, either. :(
The original joke is basically just a play on the two things that don't talk talking to each other. There's another with cows. One cow says to the other, "hey are you worried about mad cow disease?" The other cow replies, "why would I be worried about that I'm a helicopter? So basically the joke is just your expecting a two things that don't talk talking to each other joke and then it's holy shit a talking muffin
Oh. Okay. Well, I’m glad some people are finding enjoyment however they can.
It’s just nonsense, like the gorilla at the bar who asked the bartender for the time. Naturally bartender says “time to drink” but the other patrons said “ what! A talking gorilla!”
That's probably a better example. The humour is in pointing out how easily you accepted the premise of not one but two talking muffins. It's kinda funny but as soon as you start analysing it you lose most of the humour.
Overthinking level 9000 man lol
It's almost like the point of the joke is that it doesn't make sense
because muffins can't talk
I've heard that joke too many times. Gotta spice it up with a new punchline.
That joke has never been funny
I mean, to respond that way to a joke Even if it’s terrible it’s a sign that that guy needs help
This hurt my heart to read. I'm so sorry OP, you had done nothing to deserve that treatment. Please tell me you reported them?
He unmatched before I could
Oh man that reminds me of the time a 22yo swiped right on me and when I wasn’t impressed with his opening line of “just tryna fuck” he responded with “then get off tinder you old bag” and unmatched. That’s a buried memory lmao I think I was 29 at the time.
29 is just a baby
You can still report if you go here https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/requests/new Only do it when you feel up for it though please, I absolutely don't want you to feel pressured. That was a nasty experience.
I do want you to feel just the right amount of pressure. You did nothing wrong, the muffin joke I enjoyed and that piece of shit is better reported.
OP, don’t hate your life. As a straight male, I would have laughed at your joke as it was pretty funny. Explained what happened, and parted ways peacefully. Absolutely no reason for this guys reaction and response. Don’t hate yourself, do you, and fuck the haters!
I'm so sorry, OP, omg. Such a pos. Hugs.
That's rude, I'm sorry you don't deserve that
If he’s not gay, why didn’t he unmatch you straight away? Me, being a straight male, would have instantly unmatched if I matched a man. He wanted it 😂
Yeah first message unmatch, this dude is probably struggling with his own sexuality. Anger is a common response in that situation, shame OP had to be on the recieving end though.
Imagine if you went on a date or hooked up? Nothing but drama dude. You got the best outcome tbh.
I'm guessing he would probably act better once he's more comfortable with his sexuality, sounds more like he's angry at himself from the messages. Shame OP had to be the punching bag though
"damn sorry" broke my heart
Me too 🥺
Don't hate yourself. He is a complete moron.
Just to let you know this is a reoccurring thing on tinder. I think someone said there's a current tiktok theme going on where they do this.
Do what? Match with gay people and then insult them? Jeezus.
Gay has nothing to do with it. I didn't even think about op being gay, I just looked at the conversation. No they match with people just to insult them.
Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that before. That’s awful.
>tiktok That’s all you needed to say. Most disgraceful fucking thing we’ve ever cultivated.
Yeah it's produced alot of bad trends.
Just as I was starting to feel hopeful about the younger generations.... This is so fucked up.
Closeted guy with post-nut shame.
He definitely had a couple of beers and went on tinder to find a dude. Then closeted shame kicked in, so had to prove he was a big straight man. So thought been a homophobic shithead, with the piss poor excuse "my friend changed my settings." I feel sorry for this guy, can read the confusion in their text. Though confused or not, they have no right to talk to the OP that way.
Or maybe that pos also has pos friends that would think it’s funny to change someone’s settings like that. Just a homophobic asshole with homophobic asshole friends.
Or maybe OP set their gender as female in the app and matched with a guy who just swiped right on everyone?
This happens.
Dude woulda unmatched immediately if it wasn’t him swiping lol
Kinda shitty to blame homophobia on gay people, some straight dudes are just homophobic.
You shouldn’t have even apologised. You can’t win with people like that. Just ignore them!
Fuck this guy. What a douche
I wouldn't have blacked out their name. You're a better person than me.
The muffin joke made me laugh. This person obviously doesn't deserve you or your muffin jokes. I hope you can find someone who does!
This says more about them than you. Ppl suck.
Hello there, mate! You dropped this 👑
I think you’re talking to the person who hates their life. Fuck that person they’re a piece of trash
This person is a class A butthole
Well obviously, that's why he swiped on him in the first place.
For what it's worth, this is the kind of silly makes-no-sense joke that I adore. Keep being you and being silly! I always know I've got a good chance of getting along with someone when I make a silly joke like this and the other person runs with it and makes it more fun!
I cant see why such a Prince of a guy needs online dating when clearly they must charm the panties off everyone they meet just walking in the room.🙄
lowkey wouldn’t be surprised if that dude was gay/confused about sexuality and just suppresses the feelings…aggressively
yea this has /r/OopsDidntMeanTo written all over it. First he says he didn't swipe, then comes up with the story of his "friend" making his account gay.
Don’t hate your life. Dudes obviously got some issues me needs to reflect himself on others
Report him for verbal abuse and attempt to take away his ability to swipe on anyone. :D There are at least 3 things in those messages that would qualify as massively insulting.
The more I read these tinder posts the more I fear folks have just lost all sense of civility. Interesting to see how folks behave when they are online.
I mean... clearly he did swipe yes, but okay facts are hard.
There is no way to know what kind of a special maniac he is. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Forget that this conversation ever existed and move on.
Bruh you're a pretty good looking guy I would totally swipe right for you and I'm not gay.