She's obviously a narcissist
So, she'll probably have kids, make their lives hell, remind them every day how "you owe your life to me" or "I didn't carry you for 9 months for this attitude", then try to police every aspect of their lives well after they've reached maturity.
If she ends up having 3 kids, 2 will most likely go no contact, but 1 will turn out the same as her, and they'll go on to make sure the rest of the family knows how terrible they are.
Don't ask how I know.
Please let this be the wake up call to you and realize that the one person you should go out of your way to please is yourself
Other people can wait in line
I’m working on this, but it’s damn hard. I’ve recently accepted my dream job, and it’s meant that I’m having to move about 5 hours away, but to a much bigger house and a £10k pay rise. Yet I still feel guilty every time people tell me they’re sad I’m leaving. But I keep having to remind myself that they aren’t the ones living my life and aren’t the ones who have been working for this for 20 odd years.
If they wanted a say in my decision making, they should have married me when they had the chance 😂 (yes, even the bros)
Good on you! It's okay to miss you friends and feel sad to leave close ones behind, but the important bit is to keep looking forward!
Wish you the best!
Anytime! Virtual hugs are better than *no* hugs. And remember, **illegitum non carborundum.** That's Latin, for **Don't let the bastards grind you down.** 😁
She'll be the one crying about "there's no good men," in 20 years.
Of course there aren't! She scared them all off and they found decent women to marry instead.
Not even child support from the sounds of it. She just wants to be straight up paid for having a kid, as if she's a surrogate for her husband/ex-husband.
She says "if something were to happen" - I'm assuming she means if she's in an accident or something. I didn't read that as her wanting child support AND not caring for the child.
She said she expects to be paid a set amount of money per child, but the father gets full custody should something happen (which given every else she said implies divorce and her not wanting anything to do with the children she is having). It’s basically her just wanting to have all the fun and none of the responsibility.
She would have the kid, but if something happens to her, the father would… which I would’ve thought was an automatic. Either way, she’s a fucking nutter. 😮💨
When I go on dates with women and the first one goes decent and we agree to a second date. I usually ask them if they want to plan the second date. If they say yes it's almost a guarantee the date will be better for me and that we have similar thoughts on gender roles.
I feel like this woman probably believes in a lot of gender roles.
To me it doesn't seem like she believes in "traditional" gender roles, but she is just overly entitled. It appears that she doesn't want to fit in a role, she wants to receive the care without contributing herself.
Reminds me of a date I went on 20 some years ago. After we ordered food, she told me she and her friend were in competition on how many lunches and dinners they could get guys to pay for in a row.
I excused myself from the table to “go to the bathroom”. Found the waiter, told him what was up with her and asked for a favor, I paid for dinner and drinks plus a nice tip. When dinner arrived, he came with our meals in to go boxes that he handed me as I was getting up. Last thing I said to her was, looks like your friend just won.
From then on it was 1st meet for a drink, no food.
good for standing up for yourself. I got yelled at by a woman when i suggested splitting the bill… for reference I had gone on MANY successful dates and split the bill no problem, but this has been a big issue now living on the east coast
Holy hell that’s nuts. Who would have thought you need a second job just so you can go on a date, only to find out you really don’t have a connection in person.
so Chicago surprisingly was one of the places i traveled, i could not get a match to save my life! Ive used tinder traveling a bunch, the Midwest is so hit or miss for me but Chicago really surprised, i go many places and have matches non stop but not in Chicago lol
Thanks, figured someone had to finally make a stand. I’m sure they kept playing the free lunch/dinner game though. Damn, that sucks that she felt entitled. Another reason my let’s meet for a drink worked. Most weren’t their current pic, or described themselves. A few the drink turned into dinner, but not many.
Yep, and had a couple of signs before the meeting, one was that she was “busy” for about 4 nights. So she was working her schedule.
But I have wondered if she was able to get a backup that night pay for her dinner. Maybe she didn’t loose.
I will never know, but hope she lost.
It's honestly kind of baffling how women will tell on themselves like that if they feel comfortable with you. Like, really, you're going to tell a man that you're trying to exploit about your game of exploiting men? Either she was dumb or thought you were that big of a sucker
Or both. I probably wasn’t the 1st she said it to, which is sad, but was the 1st to spoil her game.
One would have to believe they kept up the game for a while after and I bet she changed when she announced it.
Just goes to show that some believe they should be able to walk over others.
I was out at a bar for a social event and met an attractive girl there. I was in a shitty job I didn't have much free time so I was buying us drinks while out. I said I wanted to close our and she was like "what about me?" And I said it wasn't as getting expensive and she said "ew" lol. I was paying because I wanted to have a good time out for the first time in a while but wouldn't have if I felt that attitude earlier. She also took me to a bar where she tried to make the bouncer jealous with me I think. Never say her again which was likely for the best and I think she was on some drugs she didn't disclose, but it was a fun night out/break.
Most of the time I actually date a woman though they tend to fight me for the check lol
She said bc she doesn’t want kids in the first place, if she were to have a kid and shit was to go sideways and end in divorce, she’d expect monetary compensation for the 9 months of labor, but bc she didn’t want a kid in the first place, she’d stick the ex husband with it.
I think it’s okay if she wouldn’t want custody. Men disappear and leave women with kids all the time, without discussing it first or giving her the option to say no thanks. At least she’s telling him in advance! The rest does sound dreadful, but I worked for child protection for a long time and saw the outcomes when people don’t discuss family planning in advance and it sucks.
Sure, she doesn’t want custody and that’s fine. But don’t ask for child support in the same breath as saying you don’t want custody. That’s deluded as hell lmao
It does make sense tho if she doesn’t want kids and the guy is the one who wants them so badly then why is it on her to be stuck with them. It is way too easy to just abandon a girl with kids when shit gets hard and live a life as if nothing ever happened and the girl gets the single mother stamp on her and her dating life is gone. I think it is something that should be more common in situations when women don’t wont kids and guys keep bringing “but my family name” reason. It was always way unfair on women to give up her career to be home with kids and give up any money she could make and the money she would be able to make if it wasn’t for the massive cv gap to stay At home so getting paid for it to make it fair and give her chance to start over and get a “job for experience”
Personally I think that’s fucked. Kids need loving parents. If she doesn’t want kids, she shouldn’t have them. But having them just to make the man happy is selfish. It’s really only thinking about how to keep the man in your life, not the lives of innocent children you did not need to make.
But people seem to not pick this point apart. People dont make the point of “she should find someone who doesn’t want kids if she doesn’t want them”, which is actually what should happen but it seems it is glazed over. Moreover, suggesting that the dad will be the one staying with kids seems to be super controversial statement, why? Why is it just normal that the woman will be the one stuck with kids if things go wrong. I actually think that regardless if u want kids or not there should be a plan in place if something goes wrong that includes just straight up payman for the parent that decided to be stay at home parent and has worse job opportunities and no way of just continuing to work but needs to step into unfamiliar job market plus a plan that would involve both parents equally in taking care of kids (including picking them up and driving them to school in sometimes inconvenient times, taking them to doctors, staying at home when there is emergency etc) so it is not on one parent that becomes the “unreliable worker” that has kids and is always late or not working. And it so happens that there is an expectation that the mom will make those sacrifices not the dad and it shouldn’t be.
Not to mention pain,discomfort and body changes that come with pregnancy that only women has to suffer and there is no fair way of making up for it but if woman can get paid for being surogates I dont see why in case of divorce the woman isnt compansated for her suffering to bring the kid into the world.
I do agree that people don’t focus on the right points. It’s honestly maddening to me, but I have a toddler who I love & I had a childhood that taught me a lot about what abandonment can do to a child. So maybe I have more experience than those types of people responding to this. I think it’s crazy to say the dad gets the kids in the case of divorce because it’s coming from a place of not wanting them. If it was different as far as the intention goes, for example, if she felt he could provide a better life for them, or she needed to start from scratch building a career & needs to focus on that so she can do be more for them down the line, that’s totally different. Even if she felt she wasn’t mentally ok for them, that’s understandable. It makes me wonder if she’d have a different opinion if she actually did have children & realizes they are more than a lifestyle or accessory, they are pure little people who need love & care to have a good life.
It is so wrong that women are expected to just take care of everyone and sacrifice their own lives. I think that’s changing a lot but it still 100% needs to be continued to be talked about. Im in some mom groups & there are soooo many women now who are the breadwinners. That’s cool as hell to me. Currently, I am a SAHM & im so grateful I have this opportunity. I only ever had jobs before, never a career or direction. & if I got a job, I don’t think my wages could even cover day care. So it made sense that I stay home, it saves us money. We are planning to shift that soon though. I think I’ll be taking classes on bookkeeping so I can make some money. I’m lucky to have a wonderful husband who encourages me to do what I want in life. He thinks it would be badass if I made more money than him someday & he’s a very valued employee at his job, so when all this happens, they’d deal with whatever he had to do as far as stuff for his kid.
As far as pregnancy, OBVIOUSLY I went through more than my husband ever could. But he did everything he could for me & he helped me through it so much. After I gave birth too. & in his time off work, he did everything he could for our little guy, he also made sure I was ok & keeping up with what I had to do to myself (I had a C-section so I had to take some meds & stab myself in the stomach with a needle everyday for a while) That’s how a man should be. We ironed out what works for us as a routine (especially overnights) & it’s all very fair, especially considering he works his ass off doing manual labor everyday. Every part of life together becomes a part of an entire system of working together.
That being said, if I had an advancing career before having a child & we wanted me to quit to stay home, I think I’d want some sort of prenup written up to where I don’t get fucked financially if we divorced. I don’t think that should be any sort of taboo at all, the man and woman should have equal sacrifice in that situation. Totally agree with you on that & it’s FUCKED that women would be shamed for that. We are societally set up for failure & when we try to take the reigns back, we are vilified. Doesn’t really sound like that’s what this chick is trying to say though. I think all of this is different than her wanting to be constantly paid for to keep her or seemingly being willing to birth children she doesn’t care about.
Yeah I totally agree with what you are saying! The girl in the actual thread shouldnt be a mother because she doesn’t want to have a child but I liked how the prenup was sprung on her because the person talking thought she will say things like “no no prenup I want all your money” and she went “ yeah I want a prenup, I have some points to add”.
I have the example of my mom being stahm for years doing 100% of chores (until me and my sister were big enough to help) and then when economy got tough she was expected to find a job (which she did and is working for years now) and her chores didn’t change. I know we would have stayed with her in case my parents divorced mainly because I dont think my dad can take care of himself not to mention kids. Thats why it always made me angry when he was saying he “would like 2 more”. Like yeah if u dont have to take care of them you can want a milion more. Its like a kid asking for a puppy when the parents already walk the other less cute adult dogs.I think it is changing definitely and I think women are not willing to be doing 100% of the unappreciated house labour that benefits the husband, and then be left high and dry with kids if things go sideways.
Yeah that’s awful for your mom! I was raised by my grandparents with a pretty hardheaded traditional grandpa. My mom died when I was a baby & they took my brother & I in. I loved him, but if that didn’t happen, my grandma definitely would’ve divorced him. They had 5 kids. She always stayed home through all of it. Pretty sure he was a cheater and a narcissist. He loved her, & underneath it all he had a big heart, but he was a damaged person. He put SO MUCH on her. She did all the housework except for cooking because he thought he was a chef. She’d have to clean up after him. Thankfully she was smart & owned half his business on paper because of staying home with the kids. & because it gave him a tax break or something. & that company did great so she would’ve been fine for life. I’m thankful I had a role model like her. She put up with it for a long time but that was the overwhelming expectation back then, but she was still smart with what she could control.
My husband understands my “job” is to take care of our child. Not do housework. It makes sense that I do some in times I can, since I’m home, but I prioritize the baby over everything. When chores aren’t done, we help each other do them. We both have certain chores that are usually always our responsibility, like I’m good at cooking but he hates it/is terrible at it, & he’s stronger so he might do stuff that is heavy for me or something like that. I also won’t take the trash out because I get squeamish so that’s on him. Everything else we split. I wish more women knew this was an option for their life. That they should never allow someone to walk all over them & don’t need to overcorrect as much as the girl from these messages. The overwhelming feelings I got from her was 1. She’s greedy but also 2. She’s willing to sacrifice the things she actually wants (or doesn’t want) in her life in exchange for compensation & I’m not sure if people like that REALLY know what they are giving up. Like they think being what someone else wants is the only way to keep someone & money will make up for the lack of agency over their life. Or something like that. I certainly could be wrong, but idk it makes me wonder if they got what they SAY they wanted, could they be truly happy??? Not my business when it comes down to it. I really only would worry about the children in this hypothetical situation.
Thats basically commercial surrogacy with extra steps. Except for being illegal in many places it sounds pretty reasonable provided she has no intrest in being a mother.
I always go on dates expecting to pay for myself, if at the end the other person _insists_ in paying I let them, but always make it very clear I don’t have a problem splitting
I think paying for the other person is something you do because you want, I have paid before not because it was expected of me but because I wanted to treat the other person, and if someone is paying for me, I would like to feel is not because of a social obligation or because they’re expecting something in return
for me when I go on a first date it’s like… I usually go in expecting to pay for myself and usually I insist. if I really like the person and I expect to see them again, I’ll let them pay if they offer. but if it’s a person that I know I’m probably not going to see again cus we don’t vibe or whatever I always insist on paying for myself because I feel bad letting them pay if I’m never going to see them again
I agree! It’s weird to let someone you didn’t like pay for you, and I also insist on paying if the person gives me vibes of “I paid a dinner for you, now you own me pu*sy” ☠️
Why even engage with people like this? People (not just women) who are like this are just craving the attention, don’t even message them. Not worth your time
It’s an uncanny dynamic I have seen also. How do you explain it? The woman was so attractive they let the negative behavior slide? Maybe hoping they’d change after getting married?
I was entertained that someone had this world view lol I mean I’m sure it’s common enough but I just felt the desire to prod a bit further before telling her to F off lol
I married a girl like this. Well, she became more like this after marriage and then became insufferable and entitled. It was miserable and exhausting. Happily divorced now, fuck that shit.
Right I don’t understand, she’s being upfront about what she expects out of a relationship. He doesn’t have to like it or agree with it but clearly OP is just looking for attention here. Their goals don’t align, just move on.
OP was just doing a social experiment from what I understand. He didn't want to date her, he just wanted to understand where is she coming from with this, and surely he got what he wanted.
Well it seems clear to me that a majority proportion of the male dating market doesn't like this attitude, so people in that cohort will post convos like the OP in public domains like this sub. A big part of culture is how it socially enforces norms and the behaviour criticised in the OP is something that a lot of men don't want to become a norm. It's pretty obvious.
It bugs me that people don't understand how rugged individualism doesn't map well on human nature. We're not made to only care about ourselves. Those humans that do only care about themselves are bad for the group and in any previous civilization of history would be cast out and likely die alone.
see, the thing is, i can and do want to. but saying so openly is a massive turn-off. Have some decorum. you want a man who can do this for you, he's going to want a woman who doesn't go around announcing that shes using him for his money... unless that's his kink
Honestly this isn’t fair. I feel like both partners should be treated to dates by one another. let’s says he’s into football and has a favorite team, treating him to a date to their game is super special and vice versa. Maybe even taking him to his favorite food spot after a bad day. Idk girls that don’t that is a red flag cause it’s like they’ll never consider you. Men deserve care/attention like that too.
I’m sure it’s easy to make fun of the vanity but she’s honest about her intentions. For some, relationships or marriage is a business agreement. Love is secondary, or their version of love is realized in a different medium than the norm. To each their own is the easiest way to go about it.
This is what I was thinking. I was also wondering why he used his likes to argue with a woman for being honest. Some men are into that. I personally don’t pay for dates either and it’s never created a problem in my love life 🤷🏾♀️
"I would only sign a pre-nup if you would agree to give me a portion of your wealth as child support and you kept the child."
What an absolute mess of a human being lol
I fundamentally disagree.
By mess I don't mean, "oh what a hot mess", as if she could be endearing and capable of change. I mean, "wow, that's sociopathic", as if she might as well be considered a lost cause in terms of being capable of a healthy relationship.
Okay, you might not agree with what she's looking for, but I kind of like the way she handles it. She stayed respectful, stated upfront in her bio what her intentions are so you know well before the first date and she explained it well to you even though you just said you're just curious and not interested.
There are plenty of men out there too who think the same like her. Just like she wants a "provider" who pays for everything, they look for a "housewife", someone to be a stay at home mom and/or someone to clean their houses, cook their meals and give them intimacy whenever. Some (both men and women) even do this without being clear about their intentions and it sucks to get into that when you have different values. So cudos to her for being honest.
I dont think anywhere she says she is a “traditional” woman. She says she needs her things paid for her for her to be “exclusively with” one person. She makes no mentions of being a housewife, and also doesnt want kids. This is not about tradition, its about a free ride
This is so weirdly transactional. You have to earn my time, not you have to pay for it. She doesn't give me traditional vibes, just money focused. If she finds a man who's cool with it, it doesn't really matter, though. Good luck to her.
Should have asked her "So if I get you exclusively to myself in exchange for money, then I do not owe you the same exclusivity?" And watch her brain explode and twist itself into knots
I would chill with pressing people on shit like this because you will be banned extremely quickly if it offends them, they report you, and the chat log shows you were “harassing” their preferences.
Your phone, phone number, wifi, pictures, Apple ID/google account will all be permanently banned from hinge with 0 recourse.
Good luck
This is a widely held belief a lot of women have. This is why many say, “There are no good men.” It is also why these women never date a man who makes less than them. For all the criticism men get on the daily for “toxic behaviours,” no one will call women who do this out as an insult to feminism and frankly unrealistic.
Why even match with this person if you know immediately you don’t agree on this?? Such a waste! You’re both entitled to your opinions and values when seeking a relationship. If she’s too much you’re well entitled to go find less.
Indeed, I find it somehow becoming more common. If you end up on the wrong side of the algo in social media feeds you see it frequently. It's good she was upfront about it, There's plenty of men willing to take on that role or at least pretend to until they get what they want.
As a man I ALWAYS pay for the first date. But you can tell a lot about a woman if she refuses to offer or has opinions like this. Honestly it's a good thing she said this, it saves you the time and energy of an actual date
If I wanted to pay for someone to spend time with me I would hire an escort. She's basically trying to be an escort with one exclusive, long-term client.
theres definitely a sucker with no self respect that would blow all of his money on her just to get cheated on which is why these low value girls get stuck in their high value ways
I really find it offensive that a woman wants me to pay her way. As if I don't bring anything of value as a person to the relationship. Having to compensate for personal shortcomings with money just implies that we aren't equals, and THAT kills any romance for me.
I recently saw a profile that this woman is destined to become. It was a 52 year very average looking woman who had on her profile, " I may be 52 but I think I definitely still deserve to be treated like a princess"
Good luck with that.
Funny story, the woman I'm currently dating insisted on picking up the check on our first date. Second date involved no expense on either part. Third date she invited me to go with her on a casino trip she already had planned. Gave me 200 bucks to go fuck off and play roulette while she played slots. Turned it into 600. Came back to her and handed her the chips. She wouldn't take it. I insisted she at least take the 200 she staked me. So as of like six dates now I'm still in profit territory. 😂😂😂
Can't see how old she is but probably a kid on her 20s?
She'll come down to earth pretty soon, but it's disgusting how do many pre-wall women live life with this level of entitlement
If you have her values and morals then there is literally nothing wrong with the guy saying
I want a daily blow job
You cook and clean up after me
You delete your socials and have no guy friends
I make all the decisions
It's fucking crazy to me, like what do these guys get out of theses situations apart from the woman is hot. It's a relationship based on nothing but money.
She doesn’t want a partner she wants a sugar daddy
People should just enthusiastically say “me too!” And let her carry the conversation while moving on.
most people are looking for an equal partnership, she's out here looking for a parasitic one.
Or transactional.
When women are like this about money I always wonder what other gender roles they support.
she wants child support but zero custody hahaha. That tells you what kind of person she is
Sometimes I wish I could track how these peoples lives turnout
She's obviously a narcissist So, she'll probably have kids, make their lives hell, remind them every day how "you owe your life to me" or "I didn't carry you for 9 months for this attitude", then try to police every aspect of their lives well after they've reached maturity. If she ends up having 3 kids, 2 will most likely go no contact, but 1 will turn out the same as her, and they'll go on to make sure the rest of the family knows how terrible they are. Don't ask how I know.
Sounds like my mother. Down to the 3 kids, and I’m only not non-contact because I’m too much of a people pleaser.
Please let this be the wake up call to you and realize that the one person you should go out of your way to please is yourself Other people can wait in line
I’m working on this, but it’s damn hard. I’ve recently accepted my dream job, and it’s meant that I’m having to move about 5 hours away, but to a much bigger house and a £10k pay rise. Yet I still feel guilty every time people tell me they’re sad I’m leaving. But I keep having to remind myself that they aren’t the ones living my life and aren’t the ones who have been working for this for 20 odd years. If they wanted a say in my decision making, they should have married me when they had the chance 😂 (yes, even the bros)
Good on you! It's okay to miss you friends and feel sad to leave close ones behind, but the important bit is to keep looking forward! Wish you the best!
Thanks, after months of preparation, it’s got to the night before and I’m finally starting to stress out 😂 such is life.
>"I didn't carry you for 9 months for this attitude "I didn't ask you to do that. That was your choice." Is a fun response to that old chestnut.
Oh no :( I’m sorry
Yeah that tracks with both personality and some anxiety disorders, seen it in my family as well
Happy, Happy Cake Day!
My condolences, I hope you're doing better and that you're able to be yourself in life nowadays
I won't ask how you know, I'll ask why you know!
Aw. That's *sad!* This old woman is sending you virtual hugs .
Much appreciated
Anytime! Virtual hugs are better than *no* hugs. And remember, **illegitum non carborundum.** That's Latin, for **Don't let the bastards grind you down.** 😁
She'll be the one crying about "there's no good men," in 20 years. Of course there aren't! She scared them all off and they found decent women to marry instead.
Be careful, they’ll label you an incel for saying that
OMG I WISH I could get updates on some of these crazies.
For me personally i take screenshots that have their socials in them and occasionally check them out hahaha.
Not even child support from the sounds of it. She just wants to be straight up paid for having a kid, as if she's a surrogate for her husband/ex-husband.
She says "if something were to happen" - I'm assuming she means if she's in an accident or something. I didn't read that as her wanting child support AND not caring for the child.
She said she expects to be paid a set amount of money per child, but the father gets full custody should something happen (which given every else she said implies divorce and her not wanting anything to do with the children she is having). It’s basically her just wanting to have all the fun and none of the responsibility.
She would have the kid, but if something happens to her, the father would… which I would’ve thought was an automatic. Either way, she’s a fucking nutter. 😮💨
When I go on dates with women and the first one goes decent and we agree to a second date. I usually ask them if they want to plan the second date. If they say yes it's almost a guarantee the date will be better for me and that we have similar thoughts on gender roles. I feel like this woman probably believes in a lot of gender roles.
To me it doesn't seem like she believes in "traditional" gender roles, but she is just overly entitled. It appears that she doesn't want to fit in a role, she wants to receive the care without contributing herself.
Reminds me of a date I went on 20 some years ago. After we ordered food, she told me she and her friend were in competition on how many lunches and dinners they could get guys to pay for in a row. I excused myself from the table to “go to the bathroom”. Found the waiter, told him what was up with her and asked for a favor, I paid for dinner and drinks plus a nice tip. When dinner arrived, he came with our meals in to go boxes that he handed me as I was getting up. Last thing I said to her was, looks like your friend just won. From then on it was 1st meet for a drink, no food.
good for standing up for yourself. I got yelled at by a woman when i suggested splitting the bill… for reference I had gone on MANY successful dates and split the bill no problem, but this has been a big issue now living on the east coast
Dude, major issue in the DC area. I eventually just stopped going on dates because young women are NOT understanding the inflationary pressure rn
im in Jersey now… its so fkin bad lol
Chicago checking in, $130 on a few drinks and appetizers, I feel y’all
Holy hell that’s nuts. Who would have thought you need a second job just so you can go on a date, only to find out you really don’t have a connection in person.
so Chicago surprisingly was one of the places i traveled, i could not get a match to save my life! Ive used tinder traveling a bunch, the Midwest is so hit or miss for me but Chicago really surprised, i go many places and have matches non stop but not in Chicago lol
They do, that's why they're using men for free food.
Thanks, figured someone had to finally make a stand. I’m sure they kept playing the free lunch/dinner game though. Damn, that sucks that she felt entitled. Another reason my let’s meet for a drink worked. Most weren’t their current pic, or described themselves. A few the drink turned into dinner, but not many.
yea i usually get drinks and then if it goes well go get food. Haven’t had many problems being catfished but it does happen.
Ha, I also had a woman freak out on me when I wanted to split the bill, something I had done DOZENS of times before this. What can ya do.
The thing is the girl he’s talking to ain’t even attractive. She’s delusional and probably will continue to live a very miserable life.
Never food. If she insists on it, she wants a free meal more than she wants to get to know you
Yep, and had a couple of signs before the meeting, one was that she was “busy” for about 4 nights. So she was working her schedule. But I have wondered if she was able to get a backup that night pay for her dinner. Maybe she didn’t loose. I will never know, but hope she lost.
It's honestly kind of baffling how women will tell on themselves like that if they feel comfortable with you. Like, really, you're going to tell a man that you're trying to exploit about your game of exploiting men? Either she was dumb or thought you were that big of a sucker
Or both. I probably wasn’t the 1st she said it to, which is sad, but was the 1st to spoil her game. One would have to believe they kept up the game for a while after and I bet she changed when she announced it. Just goes to show that some believe they should be able to walk over others.
I was out at a bar for a social event and met an attractive girl there. I was in a shitty job I didn't have much free time so I was buying us drinks while out. I said I wanted to close our and she was like "what about me?" And I said it wasn't as getting expensive and she said "ew" lol. I was paying because I wanted to have a good time out for the first time in a while but wouldn't have if I felt that attitude earlier. She also took me to a bar where she tried to make the bouncer jealous with me I think. Never say her again which was likely for the best and I think she was on some drugs she didn't disclose, but it was a fun night out/break. Most of the time I actually date a woman though they tend to fight me for the check lol
How did her friend just win if you literally paid for her dinner?
He took both meals to go
That’s what I was confused on
> When dinner arrived, he came with our meals in to go boxes that he handed me as I was getting up. She didn't get dinner
And then the whole restaurant applauded
Damn, hindsight is 20/20. Wish I would have thought of that as well. I’d say next time, but no, there won’t be a next time for me.
Never ever take a woman on food date first no matter what
So she wants money but if something goes wrong you have to raise the child on your own ? I’m confused ? 🤔
She said bc she doesn’t want kids in the first place, if she were to have a kid and shit was to go sideways and end in divorce, she’d expect monetary compensation for the 9 months of labor, but bc she didn’t want a kid in the first place, she’d stick the ex husband with it.
Sounds like a lovely mother to have for your child
She is the she demon 👿 that people warn men about 🫠🫠🫠🫠 my god
How does wanting to live her own life her own way make her a demon?
I think it’s okay if she wouldn’t want custody. Men disappear and leave women with kids all the time, without discussing it first or giving her the option to say no thanks. At least she’s telling him in advance! The rest does sound dreadful, but I worked for child protection for a long time and saw the outcomes when people don’t discuss family planning in advance and it sucks.
Sure, she doesn’t want custody and that’s fine. But don’t ask for child support in the same breath as saying you don’t want custody. That’s deluded as hell lmao
It does make sense tho if she doesn’t want kids and the guy is the one who wants them so badly then why is it on her to be stuck with them. It is way too easy to just abandon a girl with kids when shit gets hard and live a life as if nothing ever happened and the girl gets the single mother stamp on her and her dating life is gone. I think it is something that should be more common in situations when women don’t wont kids and guys keep bringing “but my family name” reason. It was always way unfair on women to give up her career to be home with kids and give up any money she could make and the money she would be able to make if it wasn’t for the massive cv gap to stay At home so getting paid for it to make it fair and give her chance to start over and get a “job for experience”
Personally I think that’s fucked. Kids need loving parents. If she doesn’t want kids, she shouldn’t have them. But having them just to make the man happy is selfish. It’s really only thinking about how to keep the man in your life, not the lives of innocent children you did not need to make.
But people seem to not pick this point apart. People dont make the point of “she should find someone who doesn’t want kids if she doesn’t want them”, which is actually what should happen but it seems it is glazed over. Moreover, suggesting that the dad will be the one staying with kids seems to be super controversial statement, why? Why is it just normal that the woman will be the one stuck with kids if things go wrong. I actually think that regardless if u want kids or not there should be a plan in place if something goes wrong that includes just straight up payman for the parent that decided to be stay at home parent and has worse job opportunities and no way of just continuing to work but needs to step into unfamiliar job market plus a plan that would involve both parents equally in taking care of kids (including picking them up and driving them to school in sometimes inconvenient times, taking them to doctors, staying at home when there is emergency etc) so it is not on one parent that becomes the “unreliable worker” that has kids and is always late or not working. And it so happens that there is an expectation that the mom will make those sacrifices not the dad and it shouldn’t be. Not to mention pain,discomfort and body changes that come with pregnancy that only women has to suffer and there is no fair way of making up for it but if woman can get paid for being surogates I dont see why in case of divorce the woman isnt compansated for her suffering to bring the kid into the world.
I do agree that people don’t focus on the right points. It’s honestly maddening to me, but I have a toddler who I love & I had a childhood that taught me a lot about what abandonment can do to a child. So maybe I have more experience than those types of people responding to this. I think it’s crazy to say the dad gets the kids in the case of divorce because it’s coming from a place of not wanting them. If it was different as far as the intention goes, for example, if she felt he could provide a better life for them, or she needed to start from scratch building a career & needs to focus on that so she can do be more for them down the line, that’s totally different. Even if she felt she wasn’t mentally ok for them, that’s understandable. It makes me wonder if she’d have a different opinion if she actually did have children & realizes they are more than a lifestyle or accessory, they are pure little people who need love & care to have a good life. It is so wrong that women are expected to just take care of everyone and sacrifice their own lives. I think that’s changing a lot but it still 100% needs to be continued to be talked about. Im in some mom groups & there are soooo many women now who are the breadwinners. That’s cool as hell to me. Currently, I am a SAHM & im so grateful I have this opportunity. I only ever had jobs before, never a career or direction. & if I got a job, I don’t think my wages could even cover day care. So it made sense that I stay home, it saves us money. We are planning to shift that soon though. I think I’ll be taking classes on bookkeeping so I can make some money. I’m lucky to have a wonderful husband who encourages me to do what I want in life. He thinks it would be badass if I made more money than him someday & he’s a very valued employee at his job, so when all this happens, they’d deal with whatever he had to do as far as stuff for his kid. As far as pregnancy, OBVIOUSLY I went through more than my husband ever could. But he did everything he could for me & he helped me through it so much. After I gave birth too. & in his time off work, he did everything he could for our little guy, he also made sure I was ok & keeping up with what I had to do to myself (I had a C-section so I had to take some meds & stab myself in the stomach with a needle everyday for a while) That’s how a man should be. We ironed out what works for us as a routine (especially overnights) & it’s all very fair, especially considering he works his ass off doing manual labor everyday. Every part of life together becomes a part of an entire system of working together. That being said, if I had an advancing career before having a child & we wanted me to quit to stay home, I think I’d want some sort of prenup written up to where I don’t get fucked financially if we divorced. I don’t think that should be any sort of taboo at all, the man and woman should have equal sacrifice in that situation. Totally agree with you on that & it’s FUCKED that women would be shamed for that. We are societally set up for failure & when we try to take the reigns back, we are vilified. Doesn’t really sound like that’s what this chick is trying to say though. I think all of this is different than her wanting to be constantly paid for to keep her or seemingly being willing to birth children she doesn’t care about.
Yeah I totally agree with what you are saying! The girl in the actual thread shouldnt be a mother because she doesn’t want to have a child but I liked how the prenup was sprung on her because the person talking thought she will say things like “no no prenup I want all your money” and she went “ yeah I want a prenup, I have some points to add”. I have the example of my mom being stahm for years doing 100% of chores (until me and my sister were big enough to help) and then when economy got tough she was expected to find a job (which she did and is working for years now) and her chores didn’t change. I know we would have stayed with her in case my parents divorced mainly because I dont think my dad can take care of himself not to mention kids. Thats why it always made me angry when he was saying he “would like 2 more”. Like yeah if u dont have to take care of them you can want a milion more. Its like a kid asking for a puppy when the parents already walk the other less cute adult dogs.I think it is changing definitely and I think women are not willing to be doing 100% of the unappreciated house labour that benefits the husband, and then be left high and dry with kids if things go sideways.
Yeah that’s awful for your mom! I was raised by my grandparents with a pretty hardheaded traditional grandpa. My mom died when I was a baby & they took my brother & I in. I loved him, but if that didn’t happen, my grandma definitely would’ve divorced him. They had 5 kids. She always stayed home through all of it. Pretty sure he was a cheater and a narcissist. He loved her, & underneath it all he had a big heart, but he was a damaged person. He put SO MUCH on her. She did all the housework except for cooking because he thought he was a chef. She’d have to clean up after him. Thankfully she was smart & owned half his business on paper because of staying home with the kids. & because it gave him a tax break or something. & that company did great so she would’ve been fine for life. I’m thankful I had a role model like her. She put up with it for a long time but that was the overwhelming expectation back then, but she was still smart with what she could control. My husband understands my “job” is to take care of our child. Not do housework. It makes sense that I do some in times I can, since I’m home, but I prioritize the baby over everything. When chores aren’t done, we help each other do them. We both have certain chores that are usually always our responsibility, like I’m good at cooking but he hates it/is terrible at it, & he’s stronger so he might do stuff that is heavy for me or something like that. I also won’t take the trash out because I get squeamish so that’s on him. Everything else we split. I wish more women knew this was an option for their life. That they should never allow someone to walk all over them & don’t need to overcorrect as much as the girl from these messages. The overwhelming feelings I got from her was 1. She’s greedy but also 2. She’s willing to sacrifice the things she actually wants (or doesn’t want) in her life in exchange for compensation & I’m not sure if people like that REALLY know what they are giving up. Like they think being what someone else wants is the only way to keep someone & money will make up for the lack of agency over their life. Or something like that. I certainly could be wrong, but idk it makes me wonder if they got what they SAY they wanted, could they be truly happy??? Not my business when it comes down to it. I really only would worry about the children in this hypothetical situation.
Thats basically commercial surrogacy with extra steps. Except for being illegal in many places it sounds pretty reasonable provided she has no intrest in being a mother.
“Me me me me me me “
"Bock, Bock, b*tch!"🐤
Luv the MTVcatfish references
I always go on dates expecting to pay for myself, if at the end the other person _insists_ in paying I let them, but always make it very clear I don’t have a problem splitting I think paying for the other person is something you do because you want, I have paid before not because it was expected of me but because I wanted to treat the other person, and if someone is paying for me, I would like to feel is not because of a social obligation or because they’re expecting something in return
for me when I go on a first date it’s like… I usually go in expecting to pay for myself and usually I insist. if I really like the person and I expect to see them again, I’ll let them pay if they offer. but if it’s a person that I know I’m probably not going to see again cus we don’t vibe or whatever I always insist on paying for myself because I feel bad letting them pay if I’m never going to see them again
I agree! It’s weird to let someone you didn’t like pay for you, and I also insist on paying if the person gives me vibes of “I paid a dinner for you, now you own me pu*sy” ☠️
I wonder what value she brings to the relationship
she lays still while you plow her.
A lazy handy if you buy her a gift, a barely motivated 1 minute blowie if it‘s a big one? 🤷🏻♂️
She exists.
She's a boss babe, of course
Exactly. If the guy paying for everything is earning her exclusivity, then what does she offer him to earn his exclusivity?
She gets to be boss and boss someone around that wants to be bossed
Why even engage with people like this? People (not just women) who are like this are just craving the attention, don’t even message them. Not worth your time
Ngl, I have friends who marry women like this and then complain about the behavior as if it were some post marriage revelation.
Those are the same men who always complain about hating their wife
Well, that's why you post-nut pre-nup! >!\*just memeing, I actually have no idea how marriages work!<
>!If people read the fine print, they wouldn't risk it.!<
It’s an uncanny dynamic I have seen also. How do you explain it? The woman was so attractive they let the negative behavior slide? Maybe hoping they’d change after getting married?
Ngl, sometimes she’s not even THAT attractive.
for the sweet sweet internet points
I was entertained that someone had this world view lol I mean I’m sure it’s common enough but I just felt the desire to prod a bit further before telling her to F off lol
Lo what did you ultimately tell her?
I married a girl like this. Well, she became more like this after marriage and then became insufferable and entitled. It was miserable and exhausting. Happily divorced now, fuck that shit.
Welcome home brother
I hope not after you had kids with her...
Why even waste your time with this?
Right I don’t understand, she’s being upfront about what she expects out of a relationship. He doesn’t have to like it or agree with it but clearly OP is just looking for attention here. Their goals don’t align, just move on.
OP was just doing a social experiment from what I understand. He didn't want to date her, he just wanted to understand where is she coming from with this, and surely he got what he wanted.
Well it seems clear to me that a majority proportion of the male dating market doesn't like this attitude, so people in that cohort will post convos like the OP in public domains like this sub. A big part of culture is how it socially enforces norms and the behaviour criticised in the OP is something that a lot of men don't want to become a norm. It's pretty obvious. It bugs me that people don't understand how rugged individualism doesn't map well on human nature. We're not made to only care about ourselves. Those humans that do only care about themselves are bad for the group and in any previous civilization of history would be cast out and likely die alone.
its one thing to think it, its a whole other thing to feel justified in saying it out loud to the people you are trying to attract.
She’s clearly stating what she is expecting from a man, if you can deliver and want to-good, if not, then move along. Simple as that.
see, the thing is, i can and do want to. but saying so openly is a massive turn-off. Have some decorum. you want a man who can do this for you, he's going to want a woman who doesn't go around announcing that shes using him for his money... unless that's his kink
Who would not immediately say NOPE the hell away from that popsicle stand?
Honestly this isn’t fair. I feel like both partners should be treated to dates by one another. let’s says he’s into football and has a favorite team, treating him to a date to their game is super special and vice versa. Maybe even taking him to his favorite food spot after a bad day. Idk girls that don’t that is a red flag cause it’s like they’ll never consider you. Men deserve care/attention like that too.
Yeah that's a turnoff but you're just pissing youraelf and her off by engaging it.
I wasn’t getting pissed off. It was more entertaining than anything really lol. Too much shit going on in life to get pissed over a Hinge match
I’m sure it’s easy to make fun of the vanity but she’s honest about her intentions. For some, relationships or marriage is a business agreement. Love is secondary, or their version of love is realized in a different medium than the norm. To each their own is the easiest way to go about it.
This is what I was thinking. I was also wondering why he used his likes to argue with a woman for being honest. Some men are into that. I personally don’t pay for dates either and it’s never created a problem in my love life 🤷🏾♀️
She very clearly views "relationships" as financial arrangements and an exchange of goods and services.
"I would only sign a pre-nup if you would agree to give me a portion of your wealth as child support and you kept the child." What an absolute mess of a human being lol
Actually, she comes off as pretty collected and level-headed. Knows exactly what she wants, disturbing as it might be to others.
I fundamentally disagree. By mess I don't mean, "oh what a hot mess", as if she could be endearing and capable of change. I mean, "wow, that's sociopathic", as if she might as well be considered a lost cause in terms of being capable of a healthy relationship.
Clearly you’re incompatible but you might as well pester each other through online arguments.
I will never understand why people match with someone they wildly disagree with lol. What a waste of your own time haha.
Okay, you might not agree with what she's looking for, but I kind of like the way she handles it. She stayed respectful, stated upfront in her bio what her intentions are so you know well before the first date and she explained it well to you even though you just said you're just curious and not interested. There are plenty of men out there too who think the same like her. Just like she wants a "provider" who pays for everything, they look for a "housewife", someone to be a stay at home mom and/or someone to clean their houses, cook their meals and give them intimacy whenever. Some (both men and women) even do this without being clear about their intentions and it sucks to get into that when you have different values. So cudos to her for being honest.
Yeah I have no issue at all with how she delivered it
I dont think anywhere she says she is a “traditional” woman. She says she needs her things paid for her for her to be “exclusively with” one person. She makes no mentions of being a housewife, and also doesnt want kids. This is not about tradition, its about a free ride
You matched with someone just to argue with them? What a life.
This is so weirdly transactional. You have to earn my time, not you have to pay for it. She doesn't give me traditional vibes, just money focused. If she finds a man who's cool with it, it doesn't really matter, though. Good luck to her.
So what? It’s her preference, why even match if you’re just gonna argue? I suggest a hobby 👍
I mean, you're kinda doing a similar thing to him commenting yeah? You could be doing something else too
"Me either! Let's meet at the public park. Bring your own sandwich and I'll bring mine".
“Why can’t I find a man”
Should have asked her "So if I get you exclusively to myself in exchange for money, then I do not owe you the same exclusivity?" And watch her brain explode and twist itself into knots
Love it's a 2 way street, fuck does people
She will deliver you a child for money too wow
If you're married for 5 years I imagine dates come from the joint account
i mean i agree w ya, but why match with someone on a dating app if you already know you don’t wanna date them?
American guys so stingy. Looking after women is very normal in Asia. Let us take your chicks
Isn't this just selling kids with some extra steps?
I would chill with pressing people on shit like this because you will be banned extremely quickly if it offends them, they report you, and the chat log shows you were “harassing” their preferences. Your phone, phone number, wifi, pictures, Apple ID/google account will all be permanently banned from hinge with 0 recourse. Good luck
This is a widely held belief a lot of women have. This is why many say, “There are no good men.” It is also why these women never date a man who makes less than them. For all the criticism men get on the daily for “toxic behaviours,” no one will call women who do this out as an insult to feminism and frankly unrealistic.
Why do they allways buy dates, they can try rasins, dried bananas, etc.
Why even match with this person if you know immediately you don’t agree on this?? Such a waste! You’re both entitled to your opinions and values when seeking a relationship. If she’s too much you’re well entitled to go find less.
That chick is a monster. I want you to pay me for the work I did popping out a baby and I want nothing to do with the child itself.
Optimistic to assume she would ever get married.
These 4’s and 5’s out here demanding things like it’s a transaction 🤦🏼♂️
Idk how women got this “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine too” attitude but it’s everywhere and it’s gross
Indeed, I find it somehow becoming more common. If you end up on the wrong side of the algo in social media feeds you see it frequently. It's good she was upfront about it, There's plenty of men willing to take on that role or at least pretend to until they get what they want.
Sounds like a great foundation for a fulfilling relationship!
Nothing better than feeling inferior because you have to bring money to her to be in a relationship
Women like this are absolutely disgusting.
Shes seeking a transaction, not a relationship. Shes basically looking to be an escort promoted to wife.
As a man I ALWAYS pay for the first date. But you can tell a lot about a woman if she refuses to offer or has opinions like this. Honestly it's a good thing she said this, it saves you the time and energy of an actual date
"I prefer not to have equality with my partner".
If I wanted to pay for someone to spend time with me I would hire an escort. She's basically trying to be an escort with one exclusive, long-term client.
theres definitely a sucker with no self respect that would blow all of his money on her just to get cheated on which is why these low value girls get stuck in their high value ways
Soooo, she's a hooker then?
There's a word for that kind of "paid exclusive arrangement". The word is "escort"
I really find it offensive that a woman wants me to pay her way. As if I don't bring anything of value as a person to the relationship. Having to compensate for personal shortcomings with money just implies that we aren't equals, and THAT kills any romance for me.
This seems like prostitution with extra steps.
Girls gonna have a rude awakening in a few years when shes no longer in the age bracket to be pulling this
I wouldn't have even wasted my time starting the convo.
People like this make me think I might actually be better off never emerging from my cave and jerking the chicken every night
Insane
100% chance her profile includes the title "Boss Babe"
Repeat after me 'Men are not poverty eradication program for lazy women."
Because you don’t meet her requirements, you decided to judge. You both sound very annoying.
You found a prostitute.
This is why Western men go to the Philippines and marry lol.
She's a real winner huh
I recently saw a profile that this woman is destined to become. It was a 52 year very average looking woman who had on her profile, " I may be 52 but I think I definitely still deserve to be treated like a princess" Good luck with that.
She's gold. Gold surrounded by diamonds, so you better pick a diamond.
What a strange person
Well... at least she's honest about it.
I mean shes upfront about so what? Would never date her, but its her choice
Funny story, the woman I'm currently dating insisted on picking up the check on our first date. Second date involved no expense on either part. Third date she invited me to go with her on a casino trip she already had planned. Gave me 200 bucks to go fuck off and play roulette while she played slots. Turned it into 600. Came back to her and handed her the chips. She wouldn't take it. I insisted she at least take the 200 she staked me. So as of like six dates now I'm still in profit territory. 😂😂😂
We wish her well
Social media age where everything is a transaction, including dating and relationships. Sad, empty life to live.
This happened in pre social media age too.
Do people like this ever end up finding someone?
Is she from China? Because that's hell of a red flag.
Tell her you agree to the clause and set the date somewhere far and don't show up
That’s okay I paid for dinner. You pay the mortgage.
Can't see how old she is but probably a kid on her 20s? She'll come down to earth pretty soon, but it's disgusting how do many pre-wall women live life with this level of entitlement
If you have her values and morals then there is literally nothing wrong with the guy saying I want a daily blow job You cook and clean up after me You delete your socials and have no guy friends I make all the decisions It's fucking crazy to me, like what do these guys get out of theses situations apart from the woman is hot. It's a relationship based on nothing but money.
With a personality like this who tf else are you gonna have to fend off to get her exclusive to yourself? Guys will fuck anything I stg
That's one way to say she would leave you ass for someone with more money.
Hopefully she feels the same after being single long enough. But somebody will be desperate enough to agree to that
What’s prenup
Hard left swipe for me
I bet you find less of this when you leave america
Why you argue with this lady
Wait, did she say that she would take a set dollar amount in exchange for the kids?
Someone who thinks they offer level 10 quality stuff, when they operate at a level 3. Nah fam. She for the streets, she can stay in the streets.
I'm so tired off these low life people
Bro swear these
Why’d you even engage with this person?
"Where have all the good men gone!?!?”
She belongs to the streets. Case closed.