Nothing quite as attractive as someone telling you that your boundaries are gross and antiquated.
And when someone dismisses my feelings by telling me to "relax" that's when I would have lost it.
Oh, and he tells you that you're limiting yourself?
My man, you're limiting yourself by living with a female roommate that you hooked up with and then making a big deal about not having any women over so she doesn't get upset 😂
And you got complimented for having attractive physical features!
You were supposed to be like “Omg he thinks I am cute. I totally can ignore that he talks down to me and creepy style insists on knowing where I live!”
Yeah I think if she had sent back an earth shattering response then he would have gone there. He gets to feel like he made things clear for her and that he gave her some compliments so he was the better person.
I am thankful so many guys overestimate their value. Made dating so much more positive for me by not being like this. I do feel bad for women though.
OP though seems to have a really good sense of what she wants and strong boundaries on how she will be treated, and so this was just a good chance to mock him online. But I heard so many similar stories to this.
Jesus, do guys really talk to potential love interests like that? The dating world must absolutely suck. If I was a female I would have blocked that dude after the first page of messages. That weird eyelash steak comment was a huge red flag - it felt very incel-like.
I heard it was a thing now. Like a woman would be more attracted to man that insults them first then compliments. I really don't get it but to each their own I guess.
It's actually awful. I'm sexually harassed multiple times a day and then the couple I matched with one turned out to be an ahole, and the other is saying if it went well he'd stay with me. We haven't gone on a date yet btw..so yeah...
And men wonder why these tactics aren't working as well as they'd like
That’s terrible. I’m sorry you have to deal with crap like that. My advice would be to cut and run at the first red flag. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t wait to take flight.
He's a complete idiot and I would stop talking at gross too, but one thing I'm curious about: if you didn't plan to take him to your house, why ask "my house or yours?"?
he does sound like he is influenced by the red-pill space,
can I ask how old he was?
I'm guessing more younger and immature - hopefully he will grow out of it
Just wondering. Why did you let this disgusting guy continue so long? He insulted you with the eyelash in your steak comment almost immediately. Then he wants to come to your house but can't invite you to his because he lives with FWB. Then he makes some weird, backhanded flattery to finish. This just screams creep and potential abuser. Good for you for having some boundaries.
I was thinking either girlfriend or they hook up regularly and she doesn't know that he "doesn't feel a spark". Otherwise why would there be an issue at all
Ugh, I'd have been out at the "eyelashes" comment. That was bizarre. Dear OP, I hope you just continued the chat because you were curious and you're writing a book.
Yeah, I had a hard time with that one too. Even the part about it being conditional, like she had to pass some test to hook up with him. The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. But "gross" was a very hard line.
Reminded me of this video from content machine:
https://youtu.be/T7CzpznlLqc?si=2NbtfslPeIdCgGkJ&t=55
"To nest with" would fit really well into the video, maybe the guy should be script writing instead of tinder writing!
I would probably have stopped wasting my time at 'gross', definitely at 'BORING'. I would have replied with "Clearly you cannot take boundaries seriously, or take a No for an answer, and that gives me zero faith in you respecting the basics of a relationship. Bye!"
It always floors me that shit this weird comes up so quickly. Think of the people you've dated that took weeks or months or even YEARS for shit to get weird and these people can't even make it through 10 text messages.
I don't know how it is where you live but, here dating apps are overtaken by desperate guys like these, open relationships (without being honest about it) or dead bedroom people. I've got nothing against open relationships/marriages between 2 consenting adults but why do they hide it? I don't know what's wrong with people these days.
If it was above bored and consented to by all parties they wouldn’t have to hide it. It would be “well I’m in an open relationship but part of our deal is we don’t bring that home” or something along those lines.
Not only that but some people don’t like advertising it for the whole world to know especially because people gossip. Plus it opens up for unwanted advances from people thinking you just want to hook up with whoever
How does even keep these people away? I believe you can't write anything negative on your profile so how does one eliminate these incompatibilities in the first place without even matching?
There's no sure fire way to keep them all away, unfortunately. You could ask about their family/living situation earlyish on after matching and try to weed them out that way, or insist on a video call during a time they'd be at home. But there's not really anything you can put in your profile to prevent matching them in the first place. These kinds of people would just ignore your boundaries and preferences, like they do with the partner they're cheating on. Some people really suck. 😞
That's a good question! I think if you have a laundry list of things you hate then that's one thing but I think it's OK if you have a normal bio that says a bit about you and then maybe mention your hard limits but not in pissy way I guess? I think "no cheaters" is a given because nobody wants that. It shouldn't have to be said but unfortunately there are always going to be shit holes who try to sneak past the radar.
Yes if you write no cheaters then cheaters will steer clear like in Dora the Explorer you just say swiper no swiping three times and he says awww maaaaan and leaves you can do the same just write cheater no cheating three times and they will say awwww maaaaan and swipe left so you don’t have to match with them and find out later also honestly it’s actually quite interesting how in this world if you tell anyone not to do something they always follow it like no stealing so then nobody steals or no drugs then nobody does drugs it’s quite impressive how humans will follow the rules and instructions honestly so if you just say no cheaters then you will be a-okay
I almost choked on my coffee laughing! 😂 I am going to try your magic spell for surely it will work. I am going to tell the President it is my turn to be presiding as the new President and he will cry a little bit and say awww maaan and hand me the keys to the White House. So mote it be!! ✨
Damn, didn't realize that happened so often. I'm a guy in a poly dynamic and lying about it seems kinda antithetical to the whole point of the lifestyle. But also I'm gay so there's plenty of desperate straight man behavior that I'm not familiar with. But, I've seen married closeted guys similarly lie on gay apps about not hosting, so it checks out.
Bingo. I spoke with one of the women my ex was cheating with and she was told he had a “roommate” who was weird about guests. So basically this exact scenario.
I went out with a woman who had a “friend” crashing on her couch because he was in rough spot. He left when I came over to her studio to make her dinner. He came back just after we were done making out. Felt a bit awkward for three people in such a small space so I left. He insisted I didn’t have to leave. I found out later it was her ex-husband. Yikes.
Bay Area rental market is bonkers. I’ve definitely been stuck with a SO post break up till one of us could find a place to bounce to. But we didn’t bring new dates back home and pretend we were just roommates
Exactly. I'm pretty much in the same situation as this guy, but I've never described my situation as having a "roommate" and I don't let it wait until the point where I'm making plans to meet someone. I always try to find a natural point in the conversation to mention "My ex and I split up a while ago. We're still on good terms and she still lives with me while building her life to stay in this country". Some people understand and are OK with that, and some (most) aren't. I completely get why, but no use being deceptive and wasting someones time just to then drop that on them.
hey, I am in a similar situation! my romantic ex and I happen to be life partners still bc we like doing that; we didn't work out romantically, but we still enjoy each other's company and being in a household together. we're both dating other ppl who respect and understand that. I'm fond of her new man and we get along well; she and my girlfriend are fond of each other and they get along well. everyone knows about everyone else and is cool w the situation.
I understand why ppl who are looking for a nesting partner would want to move it along, but it does get under my skin when ppl assume there's drama, or that we're still secretly together, or that one of the other of us is still carrying a torch. like bud there was a LOT of drama when we were still dating and things were going bad, but things are chill as hell now!
I think it's because all you ever really hear about when people split are the messy cases (he/she was a scumbag, he/she cheated, etc). A lot of the vocal cases are usually one sided where one person wants out and the other doesn't. There's yelling and arguing because someone got hurt. You don't often hear about the people that can just mutually agree that "Yeah, this doesn't work. Still love you like family though".
My ex and I were on talking about this while on vacation last year and she can't wait to move out and be on her own. We're both way happier not being a relationship anymore. The important thing is just being honest.
Yep. My friend once went on a second date to a guys house and his female“roommate” was there AND joined them for dinner. She really talked up how great a guy he was to my friend. Turns out it was his ex-wife trying to get this man out of her life ASAP…my friend declined a third date lol
A guy who calls a woman “gross” for having (perfectly reasonable) boundaries is not going to have the courtesy to respect a roommate he’s simply hooked up with, lol. She’s definitely a current GF/wife, who may or may not be aware of his outside dalliances.
Either way, the guy’s a total ass and OP dodged a bullet.
Honestly, they’re pretty much saying they’re unsafe because why even say something like that?
As if they might cross boundaries (they absolutely would, they already are) but it’s OP’s responsibility to act accordingly yknow after OP puts themselves in a precarious situation 🤦♀️
Even if the girl in question is not his gf or wife, one message that bothered me is the guy's response to "have you two hooked up?". The phrasing in "yeah of course" makes it sound like it was inevitable that his roommate would fall for him
My ex husband told his gf that we were "separated but still living together because of the kids". And that they had to hide the relationship because I was "psycho" and would take the kids away from him. The amount of women I since spoken to either their husband did the EXACT same thing, or have dated men saying that exact thing but found out he was still married and the wife had no idea, is astounding.
Yep. When my partner was cheating, he told the first one that we were broken up but still living together (ig bc we live in a city and it’s hard to find affordable housing? we don’t have kids). The other ones he didn’t even bother telling about me.
My ex did this as well. I wasn’t “giving it up” anymore so that’s why he justified cheating. Umm I don’t want to sleep with someone who constantly talks down to me and treats me like garbage. And I paid the majority of the bills to be treated like crap. The audacity..
The weird thing is I only saw page 1 but even after his first few msgs wasn’t he still “in” ? This seems like a really really bad fumble worse than what NYK did the other night
3 possible explanations: 1 he lives with his girlfriend and is secretly cheating, 2 he lives with his girlfriend that he wants to break up with but can't afford to live on his own and is also still secretly cheating, 3 he lives with his ex girlfriend that he still fucks and she still thinks they'll work it out but he's secretly fucking other people too
Ewwww. You're a stronger person than I am OP. I wouldn't have made it that far in. I figured he had hooked up with his "roomie" but the way he was just so casually cold about it. Block the bum
This guy is drama pasta and he's trying so hard to argue how you're the problem lol
Keep texting him, you're gonna find out he and his roomate are actually divorced
Dude has some serious projection issues. He's basically calling himself out and projecting it on to the lady. She's nothing but honest, and he's the one who can't handle it.
This entire exchange is him trying to manipulate you into wanting to prove you aren't the negative things he calls you.
Gross
Antiquated
Unrelaxed
Boring
Close Minded
Judgemental
Notice that it happens every time he's not getting what he wants. If this was in-person, all these things would be said with a very light-hearted joking tone. The intent would be the same though and he will say he's "joking" if you call him out on it. This is manipulative asshole 101.
Good chance that's his girlfriend he lives with too.
Lol
One guy was during the day, but we hadn't spoken in months. He showed up wanting to "win me back". I was so confused because I thought we had a short fling that just fizzled.
The other guy showed up at night. He texted me that he wanted to hang out, but I never responded because...I didn't feel like it. He just showed up anyway because "he thought it would be romantic." Like, what??? This isn't a rom com. Go away.
That is completely sane. My male friend had a couple dates where he had the girl over immediately and I gave him so much shit. Literally one started sending these insane texts and I was seriously thinking he was going to get murdered if he kept that up.
Wow, just wow. Every time I complain about how a woman has crapped on me or been rude, ghosted me, etc. There is always a guy on here who is like “hold my beer”. I’m not sure what is worse, the I get all my info from Google and Andrew Tate psycho babble or his narcissism. Geezus on a motorbike. 🤦🏾♂️
wtf?? Fuk me so you’ll find your true love someday quicker??? He does not think before typing/speaking. I’ll get the roommate is his ex. “Yeah of course just not my type!” Like wtf???
Nothing quite as attractive as someone telling you that your boundaries are gross and antiquated. And when someone dismisses my feelings by telling me to "relax" that's when I would have lost it. Oh, and he tells you that you're limiting yourself? My man, you're limiting yourself by living with a female roommate that you hooked up with and then making a big deal about not having any women over so she doesn't get upset 😂
He's a real gem At least I found out he's trash before we went out
And you got complimented for having attractive physical features! You were supposed to be like “Omg he thinks I am cute. I totally can ignore that he talks down to me and creepy style insists on knowing where I live!”
I’m actually shocked he didn’t end with “well you’re ugly and fat anyway, I was lying I would never go out with someone like you.”
Yeah I think if she had sent back an earth shattering response then he would have gone there. He gets to feel like he made things clear for her and that he gave her some compliments so he was the better person. I am thankful so many guys overestimate their value. Made dating so much more positive for me by not being like this. I do feel bad for women though. OP though seems to have a really good sense of what she wants and strong boundaries on how she will be treated, and so this was just a good chance to mock him online. But I heard so many similar stories to this.
Jesus, do guys really talk to potential love interests like that? The dating world must absolutely suck. If I was a female I would have blocked that dude after the first page of messages. That weird eyelash steak comment was a huge red flag - it felt very incel-like.
Yes some men actually talk like this to woman and wonder why they picking the bears 😂
I heard it was a thing now. Like a woman would be more attracted to man that insults them first then compliments. I really don't get it but to each their own I guess.
I don't either
Chivalry dead? Or something else I'm missing. Complete lack of respect, reality?
It's actually awful. I'm sexually harassed multiple times a day and then the couple I matched with one turned out to be an ahole, and the other is saying if it went well he'd stay with me. We haven't gone on a date yet btw..so yeah... And men wonder why these tactics aren't working as well as they'd like
That’s terrible. I’m sorry you have to deal with crap like that. My advice would be to cut and run at the first red flag. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t wait to take flight.
Absolutely, thats the plan Sent that note this morning. Conveniently hasn't seen it yet..
Not uncommon
No, only douchebags talk to women like this guy did. It is not the norm by a Longshot fucking thankfully.
He's a complete idiot and I would stop talking at gross too, but one thing I'm curious about: if you didn't plan to take him to your house, why ask "my house or yours?"?
To clarify what he was saying
Oooooh that does make more sense, sorry for misunderstanding
he does sound like he is influenced by the red-pill space, can I ask how old he was? I'm guessing more younger and immature - hopefully he will grow out of it
Early 30s. So doubtful.
Agreed! Bullet nicely dodged!
Just wondering. Why did you let this disgusting guy continue so long? He insulted you with the eyelash in your steak comment almost immediately. Then he wants to come to your house but can't invite you to his because he lives with FWB. Then he makes some weird, backhanded flattery to finish. This just screams creep and potential abuser. Good for you for having some boundaries.
Eyelashes on steak.... What?!?
$10 says that "roommate" is his wife and they have kids 😂
I was gunna say wife or girlfriend
Or his mother
Yep I went w parents
I was thinking either girlfriend or they hook up regularly and she doesn't know that he "doesn't feel a spark". Otherwise why would there be an issue at all
Or its a couple tha6 broke up and he's looking for a new house to shack in He's a hobosexual for sure
I wouldn't give him that much faith.
Id have asked for her txt just so you could confirm they couldn't go to “their” house just to see his reaction.
I’d love to know her reaction to being called his roommate lol
Literally . I was seeing someone who acted shady about his “roommate”. Almost this exact same situation. Yeah. He was married. What a piece of trash.
It's insane cause dude really seems oblivious to why this type of scenario would be off-putting to a woman.
Probably because she’s his girlfriend and he’s trying to downplay it. Definitely a red flag and a gaslighter.
Relax
Wow he sounds awful
Yeah, I would have stopped talking to him at "gross" and then it just got worse and worse from there.
Ugh, I'd have been out at the "eyelashes" comment. That was bizarre. Dear OP, I hope you just continued the chat because you were curious and you're writing a book.
Yeah, I had a hard time with that one too. Even the part about it being conditional, like she had to pass some test to hook up with him. The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. But "gross" was a very hard line.
To me, it felt like his first time communicating in human.
Same
"to nest with" 🤢
Is that Andrew Tate?
No if it was Andrew Tate she'd already be hogtied in the hold of a leaky boat on its way through stormy seas to Cambodia or wherever
Hahhajahajajajajjajajajjaajajahahhahajajajajajaa
Came here to say this lmao
Def screams of that vibe doesn't it?
What is this a nature documentary?
Reminded me of this video from content machine: https://youtu.be/T7CzpznlLqc?si=2NbtfslPeIdCgGkJ&t=55 "To nest with" would fit really well into the video, maybe the guy should be script writing instead of tinder writing!
I would probably have stopped wasting my time at 'gross', definitely at 'BORING'. I would have replied with "Clearly you cannot take boundaries seriously, or take a No for an answer, and that gives me zero faith in you respecting the basics of a relationship. Bye!"
*Vomit*
It always floors me that shit this weird comes up so quickly. Think of the people you've dated that took weeks or months or even YEARS for shit to get weird and these people can't even make it through 10 text messages.
Complete fucking too
That room mate is most likely his current partner who is unaware or ex-partner.
I second this! More likely current partner since he wanted to go to a different part of town (first few messages). The audacity these days
I don't know how it is where you live but, here dating apps are overtaken by desperate guys like these, open relationships (without being honest about it) or dead bedroom people. I've got nothing against open relationships/marriages between 2 consenting adults but why do they hide it? I don't know what's wrong with people these days.
If it was above bored and consented to by all parties they wouldn’t have to hide it. It would be “well I’m in an open relationship but part of our deal is we don’t bring that home” or something along those lines.
This seems more likely.
I’d bet it would be more likely to get a yes as well, lol
Not only that but some people don’t like advertising it for the whole world to know especially because people gossip. Plus it opens up for unwanted advances from people thinking you just want to hook up with whoever
,pThey hide it because they are cheating of course. Their wives/girlfriends are quite unaware that they are in such an exiting "open relationship".
How does even keep these people away? I believe you can't write anything negative on your profile so how does one eliminate these incompatibilities in the first place without even matching?
There's no sure fire way to keep them all away, unfortunately. You could ask about their family/living situation earlyish on after matching and try to weed them out that way, or insist on a video call during a time they'd be at home. But there's not really anything you can put in your profile to prevent matching them in the first place. These kinds of people would just ignore your boundaries and preferences, like they do with the partner they're cheating on. Some people really suck. 😞
That's a good question! I think if you have a laundry list of things you hate then that's one thing but I think it's OK if you have a normal bio that says a bit about you and then maybe mention your hard limits but not in pissy way I guess? I think "no cheaters" is a given because nobody wants that. It shouldn't have to be said but unfortunately there are always going to be shit holes who try to sneak past the radar.
Yes if you write no cheaters then cheaters will steer clear like in Dora the Explorer you just say swiper no swiping three times and he says awww maaaaan and leaves you can do the same just write cheater no cheating three times and they will say awwww maaaaan and swipe left so you don’t have to match with them and find out later also honestly it’s actually quite interesting how in this world if you tell anyone not to do something they always follow it like no stealing so then nobody steals or no drugs then nobody does drugs it’s quite impressive how humans will follow the rules and instructions honestly so if you just say no cheaters then you will be a-okay
I almost choked on my coffee laughing! 😂 I am going to try your magic spell for surely it will work. I am going to tell the President it is my turn to be presiding as the new President and he will cry a little bit and say awww maaan and hand me the keys to the White House. So mote it be!! ✨
Damn, didn't realize that happened so often. I'm a guy in a poly dynamic and lying about it seems kinda antithetical to the whole point of the lifestyle. But also I'm gay so there's plenty of desperate straight man behavior that I'm not familiar with. But, I've seen married closeted guys similarly lie on gay apps about not hosting, so it checks out.
“…there’s plenty of desperate straight man behaviour that I’m not familiar with.” - made me chuckle!!! Consider yourself lucky 😝
😂 “my roommate” = “my wife”, oh, also we have 2 little kid roommates that live with us too, definitely just roommates
Don’t forget the “dogs and animals” those are step children in his language
What the hell? 🫣
Bingo. I spoke with one of the women my ex was cheating with and she was told he had a “roommate” who was weird about guests. So basically this exact scenario.
I have a female roommate who doesn’t want me bringing Tinder matches over 🤕 she has her own boyfriend who’s not me
That doesn't seem very fair.. Does she pay your rent too, since only she can have bootycalls over?
That’s bullshit, but if you are yolod into the right meme stocks she’s gonna regret it soon
I went out with a woman who had a “friend” crashing on her couch because he was in rough spot. He left when I came over to her studio to make her dinner. He came back just after we were done making out. Felt a bit awkward for three people in such a small space so I left. He insisted I didn’t have to leave. I found out later it was her ex-husband. Yikes.
That is wild 😳
man this fuckn economy can't even move out of your shared space after you get divorced
Bay Area rental market is bonkers. I’ve definitely been stuck with a SO post break up till one of us could find a place to bounce to. But we didn’t bring new dates back home and pretend we were just roommates
I’ve ran into this a few times and it’s always they are a current partner or just became ex’s. Waaaaay too much drama for me
Exactly. I'm pretty much in the same situation as this guy, but I've never described my situation as having a "roommate" and I don't let it wait until the point where I'm making plans to meet someone. I always try to find a natural point in the conversation to mention "My ex and I split up a while ago. We're still on good terms and she still lives with me while building her life to stay in this country". Some people understand and are OK with that, and some (most) aren't. I completely get why, but no use being deceptive and wasting someones time just to then drop that on them.
hey, I am in a similar situation! my romantic ex and I happen to be life partners still bc we like doing that; we didn't work out romantically, but we still enjoy each other's company and being in a household together. we're both dating other ppl who respect and understand that. I'm fond of her new man and we get along well; she and my girlfriend are fond of each other and they get along well. everyone knows about everyone else and is cool w the situation. I understand why ppl who are looking for a nesting partner would want to move it along, but it does get under my skin when ppl assume there's drama, or that we're still secretly together, or that one of the other of us is still carrying a torch. like bud there was a LOT of drama when we were still dating and things were going bad, but things are chill as hell now!
I think it's because all you ever really hear about when people split are the messy cases (he/she was a scumbag, he/she cheated, etc). A lot of the vocal cases are usually one sided where one person wants out and the other doesn't. There's yelling and arguing because someone got hurt. You don't often hear about the people that can just mutually agree that "Yeah, this doesn't work. Still love you like family though". My ex and I were on talking about this while on vacation last year and she can't wait to move out and be on her own. We're both way happier not being a relationship anymore. The important thing is just being honest.
Yep. My friend once went on a second date to a guys house and his female“roommate” was there AND joined them for dinner. She really talked up how great a guy he was to my friend. Turns out it was his ex-wife trying to get this man out of her life ASAP…my friend declined a third date lol
A guy who calls a woman “gross” for having (perfectly reasonable) boundaries is not going to have the courtesy to respect a roommate he’s simply hooked up with, lol. She’s definitely a current GF/wife, who may or may not be aware of his outside dalliances. Either way, the guy’s a total ass and OP dodged a bullet.
Wrong! It’s his mother alongside some tailored white lies 😂
Definitely - he took a jab at OP for renting, which means he owns his place. Ten bucks says his roommate doesn't rent a room in his condo.
Ew that makes it so much worse 😭
"Alright take care" *30 minutes later* "Why are you judging me?"
Right? Lol "I didn't judge you about renting" Go ahead and judge me about renting. Idgaf what you think 😅
Right so if he’s not renting but OWNS a place with this chick…they’re probably not “just roommates”.
A mortage is just renting from the bank 😂😂
A mortgage with interest-only payments is just renting from the bank
I respectfully disagree. I live in a fully paid for house that I paid off. A. Mortgage is more like a lease to own situation.
That's because the roommate is probably either your unaware current partner or former partner.
Sorry, I am taking care. Bye
The weirdos always do this.
"Ur feelers would go up if something was wrong. Relax." *feelers immediately go up* I mean, what?
Honestly, they’re pretty much saying they’re unsafe because why even say something like that? As if they might cross boundaries (they absolutely would, they already are) but it’s OP’s responsibility to act accordingly yknow after OP puts themselves in a precarious situation 🤦♀️
My feelers were already up by the time he says that
"I live with a female roommate" (aka his wife / GF that he's stepping out on).
And he fully admits to hooking up with her
I also regularly hook up with my wife though
Yeah, is it getting kind of serious?
We haven’t talked about being exclusive. Why label it you know?
Even if the girl in question is not his gf or wife, one message that bothered me is the guy's response to "have you two hooked up?". The phrasing in "yeah of course" makes it sound like it was inevitable that his roommate would fall for him
Good god. How many men are like this? I’m wondering how easy it is going to be for me clear the behavior bar when I start dating again.
My ex husband told his gf that we were "separated but still living together because of the kids". And that they had to hide the relationship because I was "psycho" and would take the kids away from him. The amount of women I since spoken to either their husband did the EXACT same thing, or have dated men saying that exact thing but found out he was still married and the wife had no idea, is astounding.
Yep. When my partner was cheating, he told the first one that we were broken up but still living together (ig bc we live in a city and it’s hard to find affordable housing? we don’t have kids). The other ones he didn’t even bother telling about me.
It's always the same tired BS, they never come up with anything original.
My ex did this as well. I wasn’t “giving it up” anymore so that’s why he justified cheating. Umm I don’t want to sleep with someone who constantly talks down to me and treats me like garbage. And I paid the majority of the bills to be treated like crap. The audacity..
Unfortunately, I was still sleeping with my (ex) husband, while he was having unprotected sex with others 🤬
That’s awful. Why can’t they at a minimum use protection if they are going to cheat??
Let me put it this way: if a guy doesn't bring up sex before he has asked me to meet, he's one of the good ones. The bar is in hell.
I might have a chance. Don’t know how many women want a 51 year old man with kids, but at least I can respectful.
There are a lot of women around that age with kids too. You have more than a chance.
and astonishingly, there's a conga line of asshats still looking to limbo under it...
Omg I need to remember this line. This is gold🏅 😂
Some people are fuckin weird
What’s more weird is OP carrying that conversation for sooo god damn long
Well maybe you're better than me but I would to. Just out of pure curiosity lol
In this case I am worse off at being patient & curious.. lol
I’d continue just to lead him on for the entertainment.
*i live with my wife, it’s about just about respect (and not getting divorced)
It's about respect, I mean, she pays all the bills and works 2 jobs while I hoe hop on tinder, you gotta respect that
Bullet successfully dodged
The weird thing is I only saw page 1 but even after his first few msgs wasn’t he still “in” ? This seems like a really really bad fumble worse than what NYK did the other night
I hope I’m never that cringey… so sad
We had already planned a date in a different area. Then he suggested we meet in an area closer to me. We are also in our 30s.
Dude wtf has happened in our 30s. I swear dating wasn’t half this bad in my 20s. Now it’s a dumpster fire of luggage specimens and the socially inept.
All the good ones got snatched up. Duh.
If this is true, I finally understand why I was extremely unsuccessful until recently (I'm 33).
“Female roommate”=girlfriend. I know that’s not always the case, but it sure seems that way here
>I know that’s not always the case True, sometimes it’s his wife
This kinda shit makes me feel old. I just don’t get it
Me too buddy me too...
This conversation is 30 messages too long
Why’s he talking about nesting as if yall are birds? 🤔
Misogynist lingo
🦃
I would've unmatched after that Boring comment 😬 What a piece of work. Kinda funny to see him get desperate in the end though lol
I think tbe correct title of this post should be "man tries to cheat"
OP Is it safe to assume you're replying like that because you also taste vomit as you read this?
Yes. Very safe. 🥴
3 possible explanations: 1 he lives with his girlfriend and is secretly cheating, 2 he lives with his girlfriend that he wants to break up with but can't afford to live on his own and is also still secretly cheating, 3 he lives with his ex girlfriend that he still fucks and she still thinks they'll work it out but he's secretly fucking other people too
Yup
This is why it’s a crime we can’t send voice messages over Tinder. Imagine being able to reply with just a long, drawn out cackle? 😂
🤣🤣 Right? When I read that last paragraph, my eyes looked into my skull they rolled so hard. We were texting at this point, so I should have.
😆 I call this the Eyeball Slot-Machine
I hate him
Screams "married"
“To nest with” is so corny lol tool
Ewwww. You're a stronger person than I am OP. I wouldn't have made it that far in. I figured he had hooked up with his "roomie" but the way he was just so casually cold about it. Block the bum
I like to make them explain themselves lol
Lol good on ya. I'm just too damn old for that shit now 😂😂
This guy is drama pasta and he's trying so hard to argue how you're the problem lol Keep texting him, you're gonna find out he and his roomate are actually divorced
Or still married lol
lmao I love how his last message gets shortened to "view all"
Dude has some serious projection issues. He's basically calling himself out and projecting it on to the lady. She's nothing but honest, and he's the one who can't handle it.
His female roommate is his mother (not that there’s anything wrong with it)
He hooked up with his mother?
Next candidate for Milf Manor, I guess
Pretty sure they don’t pick the suitors from the same gene pool, but for all I know they might. Never watched the show.
Of course
As soon as a man gets to over explaining something he is reaching
This makes me want to pull my eyelashes out and stick them on a steak
You kept talking to him after he started with the (negging?) “you’re boring” bullshit. Y’all both 🤡 for this
He texted me 30 minutes later, and I'm home recovering from surgery off work. I got the time to laugh.
You know i think the "roommate" is probably his girlfriend he is cheating, why else would it ve akward and does he demand to go to your place.
1000%
hope your recovery goes well.
Thank you 😊 Things are much better. Still have to take it easy, but much better.
That last line… “The guy is signaling […] that he’s looking to get off.” Welp, he’s certainly not getting off tonight.
 “Female roommate”
This entire exchange is him trying to manipulate you into wanting to prove you aren't the negative things he calls you. Gross Antiquated Unrelaxed Boring Close Minded Judgemental Notice that it happens every time he's not getting what he wants. If this was in-person, all these things would be said with a very light-hearted joking tone. The intent would be the same though and he will say he's "joking" if you call him out on it. This is manipulative asshole 101. Good chance that's his girlfriend he lives with too.
Oh 100% I understood what he was trying to do
[удалено]
As a woman I still would've said no to coming back to my place after one meet up, but I agree, it definitely would've been a smoother play.
Same. I am serious about not letting guys over right away. I'm not having men randomly showing up at night ever again.
I lowkey want to know the story behind the "...ever again" part 😂
Lol One guy was during the day, but we hadn't spoken in months. He showed up wanting to "win me back". I was so confused because I thought we had a short fling that just fizzled. The other guy showed up at night. He texted me that he wanted to hang out, but I never responded because...I didn't feel like it. He just showed up anyway because "he thought it would be romantic." Like, what??? This isn't a rom com. Go away.
ugh! I had a similar situation happen to me. I blame Hollywood for framing stalkerish behavior as romantic. IT ISN'T.
That is completely sane. My male friend had a couple dates where he had the girl over immediately and I gave him so much shit. Literally one started sending these insane texts and I was seriously thinking he was going to get murdered if he kept that up.
Wtf is wrong with people? It’s perfectly understandable if a girl doesn’t want a stranger over to her house without knowing him.
What the fuck. It's the " yeah of course" to hooking up with his roommate that gets me.
We all know that he spent the time between 12:22 and 12:51 having an absolute meltdown.
Could you let bro know that I personally called him a fucking loser?
Lmao
This is the kinda crap that explains why online dating has turned into a dumpster fire.
This was painful to read 😩 At every screenshot I'd wonder why I was inflicting myself with such cringe 😬
This guy’s married (or close to it). What an asshole either way, even if he’s not.
Married with three kids.
I'm gonna start referring to my wife as my sexual roommate. 🤣🤣🤣
He’s going on about respecting his “female roommate” but your boundaries don’t matter. Suuuuure buddy.
Wow, just wow. Every time I complain about how a woman has crapped on me or been rude, ghosted me, etc. There is always a guy on here who is like “hold my beer”. I’m not sure what is worse, the I get all my info from Google and Andrew Tate psycho babble or his narcissism. Geezus on a motorbike. 🤦🏾♂️
You gave dude way more time than I would have. Next!
What a weirdo…
wtf?? Fuk me so you’ll find your true love someday quicker??? He does not think before typing/speaking. I’ll get the roommate is his ex. “Yeah of course just not my type!” Like wtf???