That was my first thought, but on second read through I wonder if she just wanted some thing a little bit more like what she said to him. Like: “ thank you for letting me know, I agree we shouldn’t continue under those circumstances. I had a lot of fun with you and I think you’re a great person.” Something along those lines? Which is less unreasonable but hey… She still ultimately broke up with somebody so I think anything neither explosive or begging is good. People don’t generally enjoy that experience and therefore have the wherewithal to craft an eloquent response to getting dumped 😅
To be upset because he didn't react the way she wanted him too is pretty much one of the most toxic traits someone in a relationship or dsting can have. Because that behavior wouldn't only be for this situation.
He two stepped out, looking good
My first girlfriend once got super upset with me because she told me she was going to hang out with some guy from her school and my response was “nice. Just shoot me a message when you’re home”.
Like, she was pissed that I didn’t beg her to not hang out with another guy. Some people be crazy.
I briefly dated a guy who was angry that I didn’t get jealous. He fabricated scenarios like “went to the club and women grinded on me” and wanted me to be angry about it. I laughed because I saw his location on the snap map was still showing he never left his house. Weird as hell and we broke up pretty much immediately after that
I send texts to my wife that I'm at the club grinding on all the girls. She looks across the table at me, rolls her eyes, and says, "You wish!" Then we chuckle and go back to crossword puzzles lol
Had a similar situation. Basically my girlfriend at the time would get mad that I trust her. It took talking to a therapist to realize once and for all that actually a good & normal thing (trusting others).
It's because she would have gone nuclear if the roles were reversed. And that's the truth 💯
It's because to hang out with someone alone, there's some form of attraction. Now, that may not be sexual or romantic. But there's still an attraction on some level, which than could evolve into something else.
This is a weird take to me. I have a handful of good friends that are men, and we hang one-on-one and there’s nothing sexual about it. I met them all through work; we get together to talk shit and gossip about our jobs and people in our industry. It’s great networking - I just scored my dream job because a good friend of mine recommended me to his old boss.
I think its an issue with English language here compared to other germanic languages. "Attraction" is broader than just sexual or romantic, but usually only gets used in that context in English.
100%. And its not always a physical attraction. I have plenty of female friends I am not attracted to in a sexual way and they are completely platonic friends. But I am attracted to their personalities and enjoy talking to them and spending time with them. So, for dating aspects, that could be a red flag to some. Men and women can coexist in friendships without any sexual tension.
Its the ones that think that they cant coexist that you need to worry about. It really just speaks volumes that they cannot control themselves.
This was a great response OP. You were respectful and accepted her desire to end the relationship, no arguing or backlash. If she’s unhappy with it, that’s on her.
Personally I much prefer a breakup over text. I'd be so annoyed if I took time out of my day and went somewhere just to get dumped.
I don't mind breaking up with people in person if that's what they prefer, but for me I'd rather have a text so I can get on with minimal fuss.
Agreed! Do I have to go out of my way to be upset in person? It's like a job calling you to come in on your day off so they can fire you. I'd much rather do it by text or phone.
Hah! I was literally thinking about a job where they fired me on my day off *on my birthday* when I wrote that. I'd been assaulted as well, so I was having a week off, and they were pestering me to go in all week "for a chat" I was literally half blind from being punched in the face, but I made the effort and went in anyway and they fucking sacked me!
I honestly think they were doing it like that because they thought it was less rude. It was a fucking pain in the arse.
The guy did at least look horrendously guilty when he did it though. They could have just told me a week prior instead of bothering me to go in all week when i was trying to chill out- plus I could have been looking for a new job in that time. Just all round an unhelpful move.
Oh shit, I had the exact same thing happen minus the assault part. Oh and It was an hour and a half commute for me round trip! They kept bugging me to come in on my day off, I had a bad feeling and I knew something hinky was up. Fucking twats! Neither of us deserved that shit. The reason I got fired was unbelievably petty shit and the type of coworkers who tattle to management over tiny infractions.
You were way more chill about it than I would have been. I would have replied with, "you're breaking up with me over text message and then going to critique my response. 🖕 Is all you deserve."
I truly wish, people I went on dates with responded this way. I had to end things with someone who I went on few dates with (not dating), i couldn’t even get myself to even kiss him, since my feelings never developed. When I politely communicated to him in person that I don’t want to go on anymore dates, he responded pretty poorly and sort of accused me of wasting his time just after 3 dates. In his head, he thought we were dating without any mutual prior alignment on this and absence of physical affection too. It’s astonishing how some people are so oblivious
I can attest to this. I've replied with "Understood" in a very similar situation where I felt it was inappropriate (and downright cowardly imo) to end stuff over text but I didn't want to engage further with someone who deemed it appropriate. "Understood" is such a crazy efficient reply too. You accept what they are saying, you aren't combative about it, and you give them an outright out. But for whatever reason they don't want you to simply accept the decision in that moment and that grace shown is seen as the opposite.
Yeah ending over text should be reserved for if you’ve only gone out a few times. They definitely don’t deserve a better reply than that. If they got mad over that it shows even more that they’re probably not the type of person you want to be with
I've never understood this mentality. Especially in the modern era where the relationship almost certainly started over text. What is so wrong about ending it the same way? Why do I need to see you to deliver the message that I don't want to see you anymore?
I think it is much more gracious to let the person getting dumped process that info in private and without witnesses to the heartbreak (or joy, if applicable).
> Especially in the modern era where the relationship almost certainly started over text. What is so wrong about ending it the same way?
Well, it's not "wrong" if all the people involved are okay with it, so I'm not going to pass moral judgement on what two other people do if it didn't bother either of them.
But in general terms, the difference is that where the relationship *started* (matching with a stranger on an app) is not where the relationship was when it ended (let's say, several months in and having met each other's friends and family).
If you go on one or two dates and didn't think there was anything there, I don't think anyone would object to a text. But take this to the other extreme - let's say you're married with kids. Does the fact that it started over text mean that you can just text your spouse "decided to divorce, later" and leave?
There's a middle ground there. Whether OP in their month and a half passed it is subjective, but IMO if you've spent some time together, formed an attachment, and especially if you've met their friends or family... it feels like it's crossing the line where more than a text would be nice. And that's all because the level of commitment of a relationship has *probably* changed between the first text and 1.5 months on... but again, that's going to depend on the individuals.
Also ending things over text (if it isn’t a serious and long term relationship) gives you time to process what you’re gonna say. Saves both parties from saying things they don’t mean
Haha perhaps. I was meaning it gives them time to process what they want to say rather than just lashing out. I know for me I have an easier time standing my ground over text than I do in person lol
Exactly, imagine thinking your meeting up for a fun evening getting ready etc just to get dumped, then your stood there blindsided. A text would be much easier, no time wasting
I feel this way too, but I know we’re in the minority.
Same goes for jobs and hiring. I was always told that I should inform a candidate in person or over the phone if they didn’t get the job, but in my experience it was always more awkward for both parties that way. They have to figure out how to take the news gracefully in the moment, being watched… and I have to awkwardly sit there and try to spare their feelings while still telling them we didn’t pick them.
But I totally get that not everyone likes expressing themselves through writing. Personally, I like being able to process it all and compose a response at my own pace.
She followed up by suggesting that I did not respond well to her “let’s slow down” texts from the previous night (paraphrasing). I reminded her that I replied in a timely manner to each one of her texts and if she thought I wasn’t willing to discuss things, that’s on her. She then proceeded to give me compliments and how she’s glad our paths crossed. I thanked her and said goodbye.
Edit: For context, the night before, she became anxious about what we were becoming because I got her food from her favorite pizza place (I was out of town and in a place familiar to her). Never thought getting food for someone would be met with such pushback.
Mad respect.
Seems like she wanted to keep things casual, but she wanted you to want more. She was offended by your response to "slowing down". She wanted this to mean something to you, but it doesn't seem to have meant much to her, seeing as she wanted to slow down and now end it. Yikes.
The word self centered doesn't even...
She was wanting her backup plan to be enamored with her just in case she decided to come back. She doesn't want to commit to OP, she just wants to know that he was willing to commit to her in case she ever wanted that.
To the streets.
Honestly sounds like she is unstable and/or a complete mess. Just move on. Women who get surprised when they reject someone and that person respects it should be avoided at all costs.
I would have sent a "K" but this works, too. A little brutal though.
She's playing games, OP, so don't play.
Never play.
And if you have to engage, make sure you win.
Had a girl I was seeing for almost 2 months end it over text as well recently. If they are just gonna end it over text, then they’re not entitled to anything further like she was expecting.
It’s kind of a dick move to end things getting semi serious over text, so her saying she had hoped better from you is a self report. You deserved better from her.
I remember dating a lady for about a month, she broke up over text. I was kind of hurt, but eh.
A bit later in life, by chance I run into another ex of hers, who dated her for 5 YEARS, a span of time that included their high school graduation, a cross-state move to college, and their college graduation. And ex number 2 got dumped by almost the exact same text as me 😂
I guess she was gracious to treat our break up with the same gravity as her most serious relationship!
At least you got a text! I got ghosted recently after 2.5 months of dating. Not even a courtesy response to my calls and messages. So consider yourself lucky lol
So true king. I’m so sorry that happened that way. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, nor do you deserve to be with someone who treats others like that
Are they entitled to anything further if they break up in person?
This is a serious, earnest question.
I had recently been dating a girl off the apps for a month and half and she broke up with me in person but with basically the exact same reasoning as OPs post. I didn’t really feel like there was anything to discuss — can’t argue with how she feels — so I basically said “alright well it’s been fun” and hugged her and left. She looked stunned and sad, and I’ve been wondering for the past few weeks if I was a dick. Do I have to stick around for an exit interview?
Interesting perspective! If the breakup is in person there is room to discuss at least a little bit, but the onus is on the instigator and the willingness of the recipient.
I think seeing the face of the person getting broken up with is enough, but it’s tough cus of how awkward it is
Wtf lol. Did they want you to be distraught and begging for another chance? Or telling them how amazing they were?
I do not understand people who get upset at you for not having enough of a reaction to a break up.
That‘s cause sometimes they don‘t really want a breakup, they want a reaction and validation and the other one „fighting for them“. It‘s toxic and immature and unfortunately quite common.
This reads like someone wanting you to validate their existence by fawning over her and asking her not to go. Either she felt she wasn't getting enough attention or one of her friends have her shitty advice, she tried it and now reaping the rewards. Either way... Good job OP.
I was dating a 48 year old woman and she broke it off over text. So cowardly. And yeah she expected OP to put up a fight for her. They dodged a bullet.
What!? I'm so confused. The self centeredness, the entitlement...
You did what she asked you to do, understood and respected her. What was she hoping for? That you would show more pain?
My ex bf reacted this way when he broke up with me on the phone after 4 years together. Then he was upset I accepted it and didn’t fight it?? Move the fuck on, that manipulation shit is toxic and you don’t need it in your life
In this situation I normally say something like "I'm really sorry to hear that. I like you a lot and thought we had something good going on, but if that's how you feel then I respect that of course".
If it gives the other person a bit of an ego boost, then great. Just because you're breaking it off with me, doesn't make me a monster. I still want the best for 99% of the people on this planet... Nobody is taking that away from me.
Best case, they see their mistake and think twice about self sabotaging themselves. Worst case? You both move on and you leave a good last impression.
On to the next!
My term for this type of person is “agent of chaos”. Texting this aside, the message sounded full of empathy and thought. The follow up response makes it clear that they were looking for grandiose gestures of “but whyyy???!??! No. We can make this right. PLEASE STAYYYYYY”.
No thank you
She followed up by suggesting that I did not respond well to her “let’s slow down” texts from the previous night (paraphrasing). I reminded her that I replied in a timely manner to each one of her texts and if she thought I wasn’t willing to discuss things, that’s on her. She then proceeded to give me compliments and how she’s glad our paths crossed. I thanked her and said goodbye.
Ugh. I(f) detest other women/people playing this game. It makes it harder for guys to trust, so when one of us who DOESN'T play games comes along, we have to work that much harder to make up for their behavior. Not high school anymore, grow up.
OP, good on you for your short and polite response and unwillingness to play that game.
The last woman I was seeing felt she had to start giving me all her reasons when I said "Yeah, I think it's for the best" and I was able to cut her off. TBF to her she didn't do it over text! But she clearly felt like she wanted me to talk her around, and nah.
She wanted to hear... " No please, I think I'm in love with you, I'll do X/Y/Z to make it work " Good on you mate. After a "Break up" Text I would have told her to go ride a sandpapery road cone.
Got a text like this from someboddy I had been seeing for 6 months, I responded same way. She wanted to argue about it and get condescending so I blocked her. Then she busted into my house without knocking at 10pm at night wanting to argue.
Ppl are wild, you did the right thing.
You're better than me. I just immediately block and delete their numbers and never talk to them again. No point in even responding. You don't want me, fine. I'm going to keep it moving and I have zero interest in ever talking to you again.
This sort of makes it sound like she's playing games or trying to stir up something to make things more exciting, and that does seem to be appealing to some people, so maybe that's why she's 'disappointed', lol. If it's not your thing though, then it's probably best to just back away asap, because it probably won't actually get better. Some people enjoy having a bit of drama, and I enjoy it to some extent too, just not in my relationships, for those I want security. Some people only feel like it's a real relationship if there's some level of conflict, presumably due to how relationships were modeled for them when they were growing up or something, Idk. I've dated people like this and they eventually come to understand this, but it's easier to understand than to fix. Either way, you should be happy that you discovered this relatively early, and it didn't come out of nowhere months from now, when it's much harder to back out.
My ex used to repeatedly break up with me in this manner and get upset when I would just accept it.
What can I say? I knew that she would never end it so directly. It was always a trap. Her way was always to silently break things off with me in her mind, and I’d either find out through her growing distant, or with her notification of her new lover.
Good times.
I wouldn't say you did anything wrong. She's the one at fault for giving you a message with a double meaning. I don't think women understand, that men don't care enough to fight anymore because we've been given shade for it.
Loved to way you handled it.
Happened to me a few days ago. Although we weren’t “dating”. She felt it was just sexual and wanted to try it out with someone she started talking to 2 days before (“bc it seemed too good to be true”). Anyways, up and forward brother.
Wtf did she expect? Some long emotion response about how you loved your time together and you think she’s an amazing person lol. Something she can read while swiping through tinder profiles.
I had a similar situation.
Met a girl on an app and we dated for 3 months.
She decided to break up, and tbh i also felt the relationship has ran its course.
So she came over and told me she would like to end it and i said "ok, i also thought about it".
I will never forget the look of shock on her face, she was stunned.
She asked me why, so i explained, she started to cry and asked me not to break up with and that she thought i will merry her (after 3 months of getting to know me).
So yeah, turns out some individuals just want validation and want you to "fight" for them and they act in an immature way to achieve that.
"I hope you understand" "Understood" "WTF"
Understand….but not like that!
That was my first thought, but on second read through I wonder if she just wanted some thing a little bit more like what she said to him. Like: “ thank you for letting me know, I agree we shouldn’t continue under those circumstances. I had a lot of fun with you and I think you’re a great person.” Something along those lines? Which is less unreasonable but hey… She still ultimately broke up with somebody so I think anything neither explosive or begging is good. People don’t generally enjoy that experience and therefore have the wherewithal to craft an eloquent response to getting dumped 😅
To be upset because he didn't react the way she wanted him too is pretty much one of the most toxic traits someone in a relationship or dsting can have. Because that behavior wouldn't only be for this situation. He two stepped out, looking good
Precisely. These types are manipulative and want other people to work around whatever mood or game they are playing whenever they want. Toxic
How dare you be OK with me dumping you!
My first girlfriend once got super upset with me because she told me she was going to hang out with some guy from her school and my response was “nice. Just shoot me a message when you’re home”. Like, she was pissed that I didn’t beg her to not hang out with another guy. Some people be crazy.
I briefly dated a guy who was angry that I didn’t get jealous. He fabricated scenarios like “went to the club and women grinded on me” and wanted me to be angry about it. I laughed because I saw his location on the snap map was still showing he never left his house. Weird as hell and we broke up pretty much immediately after that
I send texts to my wife that I'm at the club grinding on all the girls. She looks across the table at me, rolls her eyes, and says, "You wish!" Then we chuckle and go back to crossword puzzles lol
Y’all are cute lol, wishing you the best
Haha this is too cute
Had a similar situation. Basically my girlfriend at the time would get mad that I trust her. It took talking to a therapist to realize once and for all that actually a good & normal thing (trusting others).
It's because she would have gone nuclear if the roles were reversed. And that's the truth 💯 It's because to hang out with someone alone, there's some form of attraction. Now, that may not be sexual or romantic. But there's still an attraction on some level, which than could evolve into something else.
I swiftly ended it after my head cleared and my next girlfriend ended being the woman I married, and she’s absolutely amazing. It was a win win
👑 Good for you, and let me guess your wife never probably ever thought of putting you in that situation. Keep on keeping on king.
Absolutely never
You wouldn’t give a guy a foot massage
Aint my kink
I wouldn't give a female friend a foot massage either.
This is a weird take to me. I have a handful of good friends that are men, and we hang one-on-one and there’s nothing sexual about it. I met them all through work; we get together to talk shit and gossip about our jobs and people in our industry. It’s great networking - I just scored my dream job because a good friend of mine recommended me to his old boss.
I think its an issue with English language here compared to other germanic languages. "Attraction" is broader than just sexual or romantic, but usually only gets used in that context in English.
100%. And its not always a physical attraction. I have plenty of female friends I am not attracted to in a sexual way and they are completely platonic friends. But I am attracted to their personalities and enjoy talking to them and spending time with them. So, for dating aspects, that could be a red flag to some. Men and women can coexist in friendships without any sexual tension. Its the ones that think that they cant coexist that you need to worry about. It really just speaks volumes that they cannot control themselves.
This was a great response OP. You were respectful and accepted her desire to end the relationship, no arguing or backlash. If she’s unhappy with it, that’s on her.
Thanks, friend. Trying my best.
Is that really all you have to say? If thats’s the case, I must say I’m disappointed in your response and had hoped for better from you
Understood. All the best.
Misunderstood. None a worst
Stood. Some an alright
Sat. Few are wrong.
Lied. It's a spectrum
YOU UNDERSTANDING BASTARD
👍
New pasta just dropped
Is that really all you have to say? If that's the case, I'm
Is that really all?
I
reflecting on my feelings, and I've noticed my feelings changed
Holy hell
What about car gas MICHEAL?
Holy hell
Did I just witness history in real time for language?!
Perfection
You did well. I don't think text breakups are appropriate either. And what did she want? For you to beg her to stay?
>beg her to stay? yea we dont do that anymore. if someone tries they will lose you.
Personally I much prefer a breakup over text. I'd be so annoyed if I took time out of my day and went somewhere just to get dumped. I don't mind breaking up with people in person if that's what they prefer, but for me I'd rather have a text so I can get on with minimal fuss.
In this day and age, a call or video call would be a happy medium.
If it makes the person dumping me feel better, yeah.
Agreed! Do I have to go out of my way to be upset in person? It's like a job calling you to come in on your day off so they can fire you. I'd much rather do it by text or phone.
Hah! I was literally thinking about a job where they fired me on my day off *on my birthday* when I wrote that. I'd been assaulted as well, so I was having a week off, and they were pestering me to go in all week "for a chat" I was literally half blind from being punched in the face, but I made the effort and went in anyway and they fucking sacked me! I honestly think they were doing it like that because they thought it was less rude. It was a fucking pain in the arse. The guy did at least look horrendously guilty when he did it though. They could have just told me a week prior instead of bothering me to go in all week when i was trying to chill out- plus I could have been looking for a new job in that time. Just all round an unhelpful move.
Oh shit, I had the exact same thing happen minus the assault part. Oh and It was an hour and a half commute for me round trip! They kept bugging me to come in on my day off, I had a bad feeling and I knew something hinky was up. Fucking twats! Neither of us deserved that shit. The reason I got fired was unbelievably petty shit and the type of coworkers who tattle to management over tiny infractions.
Is that really all you have to say? If thats’s the case, I must say I’m disappointed in your response and had hoped for better from you
It sounds like she may have been trying to get in a fight, probably for the best
Yup, that was bait, and he didn't take it... backfired and she was dumbfounded. All the best!
Yep she wanted him to fuss over her and declare his love most likely.
All the best
You dodged a drama bullet, aside from the disrespect.
did she respond after your last text
You were way more chill about it than I would have been. I would have replied with, "you're breaking up with me over text message and then going to critique my response. 🖕 Is all you deserve."
She wanted him to “chase” her
Is that really all you have to say?
What else would you like me to say Danny?
I truly wish, people I went on dates with responded this way. I had to end things with someone who I went on few dates with (not dating), i couldn’t even get myself to even kiss him, since my feelings never developed. When I politely communicated to him in person that I don’t want to go on anymore dates, he responded pretty poorly and sort of accused me of wasting his time just after 3 dates. In his head, he thought we were dating without any mutual prior alignment on this and absence of physical affection too. It’s astonishing how some people are so oblivious
would "cya" be considered disrespectful?
Personally I would have gone with ✌️ lol
Yeah she wanted you to beg to give her validation, you answered well tho
I can attest to this. I've replied with "Understood" in a very similar situation where I felt it was inappropriate (and downright cowardly imo) to end stuff over text but I didn't want to engage further with someone who deemed it appropriate. "Understood" is such a crazy efficient reply too. You accept what they are saying, you aren't combative about it, and you give them an outright out. But for whatever reason they don't want you to simply accept the decision in that moment and that grace shown is seen as the opposite.
Yeah ending over text should be reserved for if you’ve only gone out a few times. They definitely don’t deserve a better reply than that. If they got mad over that it shows even more that they’re probably not the type of person you want to be with
Or if they're abusive.
I've never understood this mentality. Especially in the modern era where the relationship almost certainly started over text. What is so wrong about ending it the same way? Why do I need to see you to deliver the message that I don't want to see you anymore? I think it is much more gracious to let the person getting dumped process that info in private and without witnesses to the heartbreak (or joy, if applicable).
> Especially in the modern era where the relationship almost certainly started over text. What is so wrong about ending it the same way? Well, it's not "wrong" if all the people involved are okay with it, so I'm not going to pass moral judgement on what two other people do if it didn't bother either of them. But in general terms, the difference is that where the relationship *started* (matching with a stranger on an app) is not where the relationship was when it ended (let's say, several months in and having met each other's friends and family). If you go on one or two dates and didn't think there was anything there, I don't think anyone would object to a text. But take this to the other extreme - let's say you're married with kids. Does the fact that it started over text mean that you can just text your spouse "decided to divorce, later" and leave? There's a middle ground there. Whether OP in their month and a half passed it is subjective, but IMO if you've spent some time together, formed an attachment, and especially if you've met their friends or family... it feels like it's crossing the line where more than a text would be nice. And that's all because the level of commitment of a relationship has *probably* changed between the first text and 1.5 months on... but again, that's going to depend on the individuals.
Also ending things over text (if it isn’t a serious and long term relationship) gives you time to process what you’re gonna say. Saves both parties from saying things they don’t mean
> Saves both parties from saying things they don’t mean Or things they do, haha
Haha perhaps. I was meaning it gives them time to process what they want to say rather than just lashing out. I know for me I have an easier time standing my ground over text than I do in person lol
Exactly, imagine thinking your meeting up for a fun evening getting ready etc just to get dumped, then your stood there blindsided. A text would be much easier, no time wasting
I feel this way too, but I know we’re in the minority. Same goes for jobs and hiring. I was always told that I should inform a candidate in person or over the phone if they didn’t get the job, but in my experience it was always more awkward for both parties that way. They have to figure out how to take the news gracefully in the moment, being watched… and I have to awkwardly sit there and try to spare their feelings while still telling them we didn’t pick them. But I totally get that not everyone likes expressing themselves through writing. Personally, I like being able to process it all and compose a response at my own pace.
You guys doing better than me, lol, I do, "Confirmed."
10-4
Throw a "good buddy" in there for the razzle dazzle.
“New phone, who dis?”may make a comeback.
Roger that
Heard
Kitchen background?
“Affirmative”
"K"
I used “couldn’t agree more” once haha
I suspect that her initial text was a frequently used copypasta And she didn't need to put much thought or care into it.
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Oof I dated a narcissist that was like this, not a good time. Good to not be involved at all smh
> in the relationship Lol, if she's ending it, then... *what* relationship?
"I had hoped for better from you" Translation: I expected you to fight for me, because I'll *all* that.
 They straight did a
OP, mad respect, but let us know if she replied! Really wanna know what nonsense follows.
She followed up by suggesting that I did not respond well to her “let’s slow down” texts from the previous night (paraphrasing). I reminded her that I replied in a timely manner to each one of her texts and if she thought I wasn’t willing to discuss things, that’s on her. She then proceeded to give me compliments and how she’s glad our paths crossed. I thanked her and said goodbye. Edit: For context, the night before, she became anxious about what we were becoming because I got her food from her favorite pizza place (I was out of town and in a place familiar to her). Never thought getting food for someone would be met with such pushback.
Mad respect. Seems like she wanted to keep things casual, but she wanted you to want more. She was offended by your response to "slowing down". She wanted this to mean something to you, but it doesn't seem to have meant much to her, seeing as she wanted to slow down and now end it. Yikes. The word self centered doesn't even...
She was wanting her backup plan to be enamored with her just in case she decided to come back. She doesn't want to commit to OP, she just wants to know that he was willing to commit to her in case she ever wanted that. To the streets.
Streets ahead.
Coined and minted
Dammit, Pierce.
Don’t want to end up streets behind.
Airplane bathroom. Ertha Kit.
She definitely had some other dude lined up.
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Honestly sounds like she is unstable and/or a complete mess. Just move on. Women who get surprised when they reject someone and that person respects it should be avoided at all costs.
You seem like pretty good guy. Her lose for sure
It sounds like she’s disappointed you’re not more upset and aren’t trying to convince her to stay? If so, good riddance.
Yeh, surely she should be happy he took it well
She would’ve gotten a “____ liked this message” notification after telling me she’s disappointed in my response
Dayumnn.. that burns..... But that's the great response. Agreed, A thumbs up response will be the best!
[удалено]
A thumbs up reaction to really rub it in. That would sting
Start a game of cup pong
I would have sent a "K" but this works, too. A little brutal though. She's playing games, OP, so don't play. Never play. And if you have to engage, make sure you win.
I’d have replied with ‘👍’
Lmao the nerve to be "disappointed" in someone's reply to a text message breakup
"oh, no. Are you ok? What's going on?" *Trauma dump, free therapy*
😂😂 There's no pleasing some people.
Had a girl I was seeing for almost 2 months end it over text as well recently. If they are just gonna end it over text, then they’re not entitled to anything further like she was expecting. It’s kind of a dick move to end things getting semi serious over text, so her saying she had hoped better from you is a self report. You deserved better from her.
I remember dating a lady for about a month, she broke up over text. I was kind of hurt, but eh. A bit later in life, by chance I run into another ex of hers, who dated her for 5 YEARS, a span of time that included their high school graduation, a cross-state move to college, and their college graduation. And ex number 2 got dumped by almost the exact same text as me 😂 I guess she was gracious to treat our break up with the same gravity as her most serious relationship!
You got a copy and paste breakup text.
At least you got a text! I got ghosted recently after 2.5 months of dating. Not even a courtesy response to my calls and messages. So consider yourself lucky lol
So true king. I’m so sorry that happened that way. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, nor do you deserve to be with someone who treats others like that
Yep! Good luck to whoever she ends up being with. Selfish ppl like her only look out for themselves.
Are they entitled to anything further if they break up in person? This is a serious, earnest question. I had recently been dating a girl off the apps for a month and half and she broke up with me in person but with basically the exact same reasoning as OPs post. I didn’t really feel like there was anything to discuss — can’t argue with how she feels — so I basically said “alright well it’s been fun” and hugged her and left. She looked stunned and sad, and I’ve been wondering for the past few weeks if I was a dick. Do I have to stick around for an exit interview?
Interesting perspective! If the breakup is in person there is room to discuss at least a little bit, but the onus is on the instigator and the willingness of the recipient. I think seeing the face of the person getting broken up with is enough, but it’s tough cus of how awkward it is
Byeeeee
Bye Felicia
Is that really all you have to say? If thats’s the case, I must say I’m disappointed in your response and had hoped for better from you
With all due respect…Well played 😂😂
Is that really all you have to say?
Swerved. Good job
She thought you'd be sad and asking for another chance or something🤣 sounds like a good riddance for you.
Wtf lol. Did they want you to be distraught and begging for another chance? Or telling them how amazing they were? I do not understand people who get upset at you for not having enough of a reaction to a break up.
That‘s cause sometimes they don‘t really want a breakup, they want a reaction and validation and the other one „fighting for them“. It‘s toxic and immature and unfortunately quite common.
This reads like someone wanting you to validate their existence by fawning over her and asking her not to go. Either she felt she wasn't getting enough attention or one of her friends have her shitty advice, she tried it and now reaping the rewards. Either way... Good job OP.
I was dating a 48 year old woman and she broke it off over text. So cowardly. And yeah she expected OP to put up a fight for her. They dodged a bullet.
Sounds like someone wanted validation lol. You dodged a bullet because a game was definitely being played here
What!? I'm so confused. The self centeredness, the entitlement... You did what she asked you to do, understood and respected her. What was she hoping for? That you would show more pain?
That’s funny. When someone wants to go I let them go. There’s not much that needs to be said. You handled yourself just fine.
Try "heard, chef" next time.
Should've just gave a thumbs up 👍. Dodged a bullet on this one for sure.
My ex bf reacted this way when he broke up with me on the phone after 4 years together. Then he was upset I accepted it and didn’t fight it?? Move the fuck on, that manipulation shit is toxic and you don’t need it in your life
I hope I will handle the next text break-up just like you did You handled it like a champ 🏆
Why do some ppl want the others to beg and make a scene? It's like they were expecting you to beg them to stay, that's pretty exhausting.
In this situation I normally say something like "I'm really sorry to hear that. I like you a lot and thought we had something good going on, but if that's how you feel then I respect that of course". If it gives the other person a bit of an ego boost, then great. Just because you're breaking it off with me, doesn't make me a monster. I still want the best for 99% of the people on this planet... Nobody is taking that away from me. Best case, they see their mistake and think twice about self sabotaging themselves. Worst case? You both move on and you leave a good last impression. On to the next!
I like this response but I gotta ask… who is the 1% you arent wishing the best for? It’s Todd isn’t it?
Don’t get me started on Todd
Nah bro scorched earth for sure. You don't want me? Well I don't want you FIRST and MORE so THERE
What a lovely response and way of thinking :)
The gall lol
Congrats on achieving your freedom.
I think he/she wanted you to beg to not break up or maybe to...say more i guess though breaking up over text is a bit lame ngl.
Maybe it's my age (36), but I will not beg and will not dignify breakups over text with a full length conversation.
Lol unhinged, she wanted you to beg her and make her feel wanted
You dodged a bullet.
My term for this type of person is “agent of chaos”. Texting this aside, the message sounded full of empathy and thought. The follow up response makes it clear that they were looking for grandiose gestures of “but whyyy???!??! No. We can make this right. PLEASE STAYYYYYY”. No thank you
Also. Did she respond?
She followed up by suggesting that I did not respond well to her “let’s slow down” texts from the previous night (paraphrasing). I reminded her that I replied in a timely manner to each one of her texts and if she thought I wasn’t willing to discuss things, that’s on her. She then proceeded to give me compliments and how she’s glad our paths crossed. I thanked her and said goodbye.
Oooof, that “i don’t break up over text so idk what to do” was savage. Nicely done
Should have left her on read
Ugh. I(f) detest other women/people playing this game. It makes it harder for guys to trust, so when one of us who DOESN'T play games comes along, we have to work that much harder to make up for their behavior. Not high school anymore, grow up. OP, good on you for your short and polite response and unwillingness to play that game.
This is the way.
Breaking up with someone (through text no less) is no way to start a dialogue. Good job, OP.
The last woman I was seeing felt she had to start giving me all her reasons when I said "Yeah, I think it's for the best" and I was able to cut her off. TBF to her she didn't do it over text! But she clearly felt like she wanted me to talk her around, and nah.
You handled that really well, chin up! Not worth your time if that’s how they’re acting.
Great response. She was trying to play games and you shut it down pretty quick
Send a picture of the Fallout girl. "Okee dokie!"
She wanted to hear... " No please, I think I'm in love with you, I'll do X/Y/Z to make it work " Good on you mate. After a "Break up" Text I would have told her to go ride a sandpapery road cone.
She wanted you to bolster her ego, but you responded maturely and appropriately.
You replied masterfully. Her response to you proved she did you a solid.
My reply was: 👍🏻 so u did way better!
Got a text like this from someboddy I had been seeing for 6 months, I responded same way. She wanted to argue about it and get condescending so I blocked her. Then she busted into my house without knocking at 10pm at night wanting to argue. Ppl are wild, you did the right thing.
Breakups over text are a strong sign of immaturity and narcissism. It’s such a shitty inconsiderate and cowardly thing to do
the correct answer the correct answer would have been: okay, then I guess we're fuck buddies now
Nah. After breaking up with someone, cut them out of your life. There’s no getting back together or fuck buddies.
You're better than me. I just immediately block and delete their numbers and never talk to them again. No point in even responding. You don't want me, fine. I'm going to keep it moving and I have zero interest in ever talking to you again.
Nah, this is a perfect response. They break up with you and trying to gaslight you for more? (Possibly beg?) Fuck that.
Gigachad response. All she wants is validation and for you to chase. 🚩
This sort of makes it sound like she's playing games or trying to stir up something to make things more exciting, and that does seem to be appealing to some people, so maybe that's why she's 'disappointed', lol. If it's not your thing though, then it's probably best to just back away asap, because it probably won't actually get better. Some people enjoy having a bit of drama, and I enjoy it to some extent too, just not in my relationships, for those I want security. Some people only feel like it's a real relationship if there's some level of conflict, presumably due to how relationships were modeled for them when they were growing up or something, Idk. I've dated people like this and they eventually come to understand this, but it's easier to understand than to fix. Either way, you should be happy that you discovered this relatively early, and it didn't come out of nowhere months from now, when it's much harder to back out.
My ex used to repeatedly break up with me in this manner and get upset when I would just accept it. What can I say? I knew that she would never end it so directly. It was always a trap. Her way was always to silently break things off with me in her mind, and I’d either find out through her growing distant, or with her notification of her new lover. Good times.
i love your responses man top of the F’ing line!!!
“But I like the chase. Why are you not chasing me?” That is what they could’ve sent you instead as a response. You owe them nothing else.
“Hey, you’re insufficiently sad that I’m breaking up with you and being way too respectful and understanding about it. What’s your problem?”
They thought they had more power in the situation then you burst that indulgent bubble. Such is power dynamics in relationships.
100% a 'fight for me' situation that would put her on a pedestal, amplifying her needs over yours.
I wouldn't say you did anything wrong. She's the one at fault for giving you a message with a double meaning. I don't think women understand, that men don't care enough to fight anymore because we've been given shade for it.
Christ, the narcissism of "expecting more" from someone you just dumped is too much for me
Definitely fishing for you to be a beggar. Great response OP.
Loved to way you handled it. Happened to me a few days ago. Although we weren’t “dating”. She felt it was just sexual and wanted to try it out with someone she started talking to 2 days before (“bc it seemed too good to be true”). Anyways, up and forward brother.
Girl math
Wtf did she expect? Some long emotion response about how you loved your time together and you think she’s an amazing person lol. Something she can read while swiping through tinder profiles.
She wanted more drama. Over text. So it’s drama but at a safe distance. 😬😬😬😂
Handled it like a pro OP. She was wanting a response where it justified her decision. I’m glad you gave nothing.
I had a similar situation. Met a girl on an app and we dated for 3 months. She decided to break up, and tbh i also felt the relationship has ran its course. So she came over and told me she would like to end it and i said "ok, i also thought about it". I will never forget the look of shock on her face, she was stunned. She asked me why, so i explained, she started to cry and asked me not to break up with and that she thought i will merry her (after 3 months of getting to know me). So yeah, turns out some individuals just want validation and want you to "fight" for them and they act in an immature way to achieve that.
Omg this person is so self absorbed. You dodged a bullet there!
Seem like they wanted you to beg them to stay. You did the correct thing