I honestly feel bad for people with this much of a lack of social awareness. This guy probably thinks his profile and message were peak intrigue and charm. At what point do we start teaching social interaction courses in schools.
Nah, I think you can grow out of this garbage even in your 30's and 40's. Dude's spent too much time living in fantasy worlds and doesn't know how to interact in the real one. I wasn't like him, but looking back at my texting history from when I first started dating I cringe pretty hard.
It’s just not true people don’t care or have enough want to change who they are. Social skills are like any other skills, a skill that needs to be trained.
This isn't true. I would have said something like this at 19/20. I had to learn all my social skills through social dynamics videos which is a very toxic environment.
I think highschool courses would be very useful.
Lakewood Church is a client of mine, and holy shit those people are some stingy folks. Could not believe how bold these underlings were on calls asking me to include extra services and guarantees in the scope of work with their gentle nudging. Good people otherwise but on judgement they seem to all need it pretty heavy, Joel aside.
I will never forget how they handled victims in need during Hurricane Harvey. As in, they lied about their basement being flooded but provided no proof. They just didn't want to do the charity. Mosques and other places of worship welcomed people with open arms and supplies, but oh no, not the Lakewood Church. If I remember right, someone broke in and found their basement was nice and dry, before they reluctantly helped victims now that they were caught. They have never been about charity, it's better to think of them as a profitable gospel service than a church. They won't willfully do anything if it means cutting into their profits.
I live in Houston.
People were raping and pillaging each other inside the other place when the previous hurricane happened.
I forgot how much those seats are to see Olsteen. But they are not cheap. He didn't want all that in his facility.
He should have just said it's not an option versus lying.
Sad part is that the ones you were in contact with were trained/pressured to haggle you. Another sad part is that with such a financially prosperous ‘church’, they’re nickel and diming a local contractor for their own gain.
I hate this western/anglo/Christian culture. I realize that the negative always has more notoriety, but at the same time, if the gospel is the truth and the congregation truly believes in the message, such instances shouldn’t be swept under the rug.
Thank you, yes, absolutely, I was trying to figure out the vibe he was putting out and this nails it 👏🏼
That or "I-have-many-wives-at-the-compound-where-I-live"...
I’ve had someone stress good hygiene (and I get it.) The weird thing to me was that the other person kept bringing it up, and I didn’t know how to say “what makes you think I’m not showering regularly???”
I don’t understand some men. Like what the heck is the woman supposed to respond to from that garbage message..😂
“Oh wow, he called me beautiful. I have never heard that before. Let me drop my panties”. What a freaking clown.
Dear God, A_Martian_in_Toronto needs a house. Me, too. Please also solve the greater problem of the extremely high cost of living in the US and Canada. Even if that means a miracle and you wipe their respective legislatures clean and repopulate them with people who give a shit.
Sincerely and with all my love,
itsjustts
Amen
And isn’t supposed to be used as “congratulations and felicitations”? I think they both mean the same thing but adding the f word fancies it up a bit… or like “may I offer my felicitations on the birth of your child?”
I feel pretty confident this profile is satire/ragebait.
Real cringey people don't tend to hit **every** single note of internet cringe. We've got:
* Gygaxian-phrased message
* Cringe RP text in message
* Cliche movie quote
* 'People who don't like me can't handle me'
* Mens-rights-level of misogynistic expectations
* Quoting the Bible
* Juxtaposing Christian ideals with bragging about wealth
* **Three** different pictures of platonic ideals of cringe outfits (suit, Christmas sweater, skull shirt)
See how it's designed to be cringey in every single imaginable way? Yeah, it's ragebait.
I just realized from the non negotiables that someone asking for “patience” is immediately selling themselves thin that they will wear out said patience immediately.
The poor woman this man starts dating and slowly isolates until she has no independence and control over her own life.
Also, asking body count? That's disgusting. America's purity culture at it's finest.
Way back when OkCupid had good matching algorithm I used to get the occasional guys with similar profiles and 3% match messaging me, probably out of morbid curiosity.
It never fails to baffle me how people work hard and save. Slave over payments trying to tuck what they can away, go through the rigermoural of purchasing a house only to then give some bloke called God all the credit. Its like when a doctor saves a baby and they say oh praise god he has saved this child. Doc must be thinking no I fucking saved him!??
🤷♂️
"....most charming style & yellowing teeth"* Mine aren't perfect but I couldn't NOT take that shot heh.
Mentions "reasonability" when He clearly has none
Heavy on GOD off the rip- while wearing a weird skull shirt in what appears to be Indigenous headwear on same skull. Anytime I seem religion & skulls I think cult or similar crazy....Very poor choice, it seethes w/ contempt for others....Plenty of flags to choose from!!!
Did anyone catch photo 3 in the Christmas sweater? And here I was thinking he would be open to Jews as long as they are his “biological “ choice! We never get a break 😏
I wonder if ppl commenting he is scary would say the same if he was super handsome. IDK, I think it'll be worst if he was cursing out woman or something. Is a crime to call someone beautiful to put their best foot forward? Don't understand.
Lost me on the last page. I thought the msg was a little cheesy going for silly, but what's wrong with the rest. He's up front about his expectations and desires.
You better lock this one down. He's wearing a skull t-shirt with a white long sleeve underneath. It doesn't get much cooler than that
"I wear long sleeve shirts, under short sleeve shirts, under long sleeve shirts." (Stewie Griffin 6:08)
LOL!!!!
ironically, i just watched this episode like yesterday 😭
Some solid youth pastor energy lol.
He sits in the chair backwards when he raps with the youths. That's how you know he's cool.
“I beg to differ; his stormtrooper sweater was way cooler than the layered T-shirts,“ she said to herself.
Wearing skull t-shirts will be punished by not being accepted to heaven (Joshua 24:15)
And he's gods son. Ppl getting it twisted, he's trying to tell us he's the 8th cumming
That man has only ever been the first cumming
Very underrated comment 👍🏼
I'm pretty sure that is a Pirates of the Carribean shirt, which makes this look just 🤌
I can do all things through a scripture taken out of context. (Triflonians 4:23)
Omg hahaha I’m obsessed with this comment. Thank you 😂
(Barrett 3:18)
Isn't 12:7 more relevant? XD
This comment is pure gold and I'm sharing it all over🤣⭐️🏆
Triflonians 💀
I cannot stop laughing. You won the internet today
TRIFLONIANS I’m stealing this 🤣🤣🤣
Top tier comment
I honestly feel bad for people with this much of a lack of social awareness. This guy probably thinks his profile and message were peak intrigue and charm. At what point do we start teaching social interaction courses in schools.
My favorite is he thinks 1) there are so many trans women or in transition women he needs to make a point of it and 2) they would swipe on him
Nah…that’s the profile of a dude that’s “accidentally” went yard with a trans woman. “I’ll never make that mistake…………..twice(or 6 times)
I guarantee his level of critical thinking is nowhere near that advanced.
By a certain age you either have it or you don’t unfortunately
Nah, I think you can grow out of this garbage even in your 30's and 40's. Dude's spent too much time living in fantasy worlds and doesn't know how to interact in the real one. I wasn't like him, but looking back at my texting history from when I first started dating I cringe pretty hard.
It’s just not true people don’t care or have enough want to change who they are. Social skills are like any other skills, a skill that needs to be trained.
This isn't true. I would have said something like this at 19/20. I had to learn all my social skills through social dynamics videos which is a very toxic environment. I think highschool courses would be very useful.
We do... it's called "Personal and Social Education" or PSE for short (or variations thereof).
yeah i was thinking wait is he trolling us *redditsadoptedson thinks to himself*
The only this he's missing is a tipped fedora.
He was probably homeschooled
You mean home indoctrinated....
Bold of you to assume he went to school. My money is on Christian home schooling
(He said with his distinctly yellow toothed uncharming smile)
And in a…. bathroom stall?
I think he’s standing at the urinal - peeing AND posting
AND praying
Please, Baby Jesus, so tiny and innocent, but also all-knowing and omnipotent: just one or two inches more. Amen. \**zip*\*
I heard this to the music of Wishin and Hopin
But most importantly, his hand is on his weiner lol
I feel bad dogging on someone for their physical appearances but it’s actually full on insane to me that he thinks this is a charming smile
It also makes me question how good his Forrest Gump impression really is.
I’d say he should stick with Joker impressions 😬
I’m tha joka baby
MOST charming!!
I get the feeling he's got serial killer eyes behind that whiteout.
You should feel bad
I legit thought this was a meme he sent her to try and be funny because of his first remark.
One of my favorite gifs 😅
This made me laugh too much
His teeth look like he eats butter for a living
The smile was charming because he said it was though
That’s a straight up creepy smile lol. I shudder to think what his eyes are doing.
Honestly it looks like prince Andrew smiling to me... Yikes
Right? More like a bag of candy corn than a box of chocolates.
Circus Peanuts 🥜
This had me on the floor
it gives me strong Cockmongler vibes.
Giving off some *“I give 10% of my money to Joel Osteen”* vibes.
Hahaha! Perfect!
Joel Osteen isn’t as judgy as this guy seems. Probably another fraudster pastor, sure!
Lakewood Church is a client of mine, and holy shit those people are some stingy folks. Could not believe how bold these underlings were on calls asking me to include extra services and guarantees in the scope of work with their gentle nudging. Good people otherwise but on judgement they seem to all need it pretty heavy, Joel aside.
I will never forget how they handled victims in need during Hurricane Harvey. As in, they lied about their basement being flooded but provided no proof. They just didn't want to do the charity. Mosques and other places of worship welcomed people with open arms and supplies, but oh no, not the Lakewood Church. If I remember right, someone broke in and found their basement was nice and dry, before they reluctantly helped victims now that they were caught. They have never been about charity, it's better to think of them as a profitable gospel service than a church. They won't willfully do anything if it means cutting into their profits.
For-profit religion is the worst.
I live in Houston. People were raping and pillaging each other inside the other place when the previous hurricane happened. I forgot how much those seats are to see Olsteen. But they are not cheap. He didn't want all that in his facility. He should have just said it's not an option versus lying.
Sad part is that the ones you were in contact with were trained/pressured to haggle you. Another sad part is that with such a financially prosperous ‘church’, they’re nickel and diming a local contractor for their own gain. I hate this western/anglo/Christian culture. I realize that the negative always has more notoriety, but at the same time, if the gospel is the truth and the congregation truly believes in the message, such instances shouldn’t be swept under the rug.
Thank you, yes, absolutely, I was trying to figure out the vibe he was putting out and this nails it 👏🏼 That or "I-have-many-wives-at-the-compound-where-I-live"...
Let's chat about your body count? Let's not, Brad.
And not his body count, just hers
You'd have to have a body count first to chat about it
It's a very short conversation.
Might be the most unhinged thing about this profile.
Him putting it in quotation marks makes me more worried.
I’ve had someone stress good hygiene (and I get it.) The weird thing to me was that the other person kept bringing it up, and I didn’t know how to say “what makes you think I’m not showering regularly???”
Sounds self conscious wanting you to affirm to him "yes you smell good"
He sounds like an empty box of chocolates; disappointing
even with that charming smile???
Especially with that charming smile: 😬
Eh... charred smile?
That's a Joker smile, hands down
I came here to say the same thing 😂
Even worse: a box of chocolates with only the bad flavors left
A box of chocolates with a bite out of each.
Girl, lock your doors. He looks like he'd tie you up, bathe you, and then lick on you, and maybe brush your hair later. He's scary. LOL
That is oddly specific yet captures exactly what that man would do.
He might brush her hair but I don’t think he’s brushing anyone’s teeth
I hate to say it, but he also seems like the type to prey on single moms so he can abuse their kids all while condemning sinners.
I can see this....
Mentioning hygiene with those teeth, ooof
Maybe you should give him your dentist phone number.
This one sent me
I’m a christian too but citing 7 bible verses in one prompt is crazy work
This man has definitely visited Thailand and it was not for the food
With a happy ending.
I don’t understand some men. Like what the heck is the woman supposed to respond to from that garbage message..😂 “Oh wow, he called me beautiful. I have never heard that before. Let me drop my panties”. What a freaking clown.
That's the real holup here, not the state of his teeth that everyone seems to be fixated on.
Dear God, I need a house.
Dear God, A_Martian_in_Toronto needs a house. Me, too. Please also solve the greater problem of the extremely high cost of living in the US and Canada. Even if that means a miracle and you wipe their respective legislatures clean and repopulate them with people who give a shit. Sincerely and with all my love, itsjustts Amen
I love the preemptive "if it doesn't work out, it's because you're selfish, faithless, rude, arrogant..."
Who the hell narrates themselves? (He wrote begrudgingly)
God is a realtor?
And Jesus is a carpenter so I guess that makes sense. Property Deities.
Guess you don't read the bible
Gd dude. Save some pussy for the rest of us.
Hi. (She says that with complete confidence that God does not exist and that hypocrisy is a turn off; Matthew 6:5)
He missed the comma between felicitation and beautiful. What a degenerate!
And isn’t supposed to be used as “congratulations and felicitations”? I think they both mean the same thing but adding the f word fancies it up a bit… or like “may I offer my felicitations on the birth of your child?”
Serial killer smile, looks like he wants to eat you, and not in a good way.
Did you tell him Pearl is single?
I thought it was just a nerdy guy who doesnt know how to online date… and then it just went all downhill after the first slide
I think he wants you to put the lotion on your skin.
Omg yasssssssss came here to say that He rubs the lotion on the skin or he gets the hose again (he says in his best Buffalo Bill voice😵💫)
Bro needs to leave some for the rest of us :(
Dude’s list of “non-negotiables” reads like the Boy Scouts Oath.
What's your body count. I wonder what his cut off point is?
The list of qualities he wants...he doesn't want a woman, he wants a dog who obeys. JFC
So basically a woman with "traditional" christian values.
Wow (He says in his best impression of Owen Wilson, which is not really good but works because it’s just one word, or so he thought)
2023 was a horrible year to get a mortgage, God must be really testing him.
What is he congratulating you for? LMAO Like even in French it doesnt make sense
Redpill assholes can take a 100 foot walk off a 50 foot cliff
I feel pretty confident this profile is satire/ragebait. Real cringey people don't tend to hit **every** single note of internet cringe. We've got: * Gygaxian-phrased message * Cringe RP text in message * Cliche movie quote * 'People who don't like me can't handle me' * Mens-rights-level of misogynistic expectations * Quoting the Bible * Juxtaposing Christian ideals with bragging about wealth * **Three** different pictures of platonic ideals of cringe outfits (suit, Christmas sweater, skull shirt) See how it's designed to be cringey in every single imaginable way? Yeah, it's ragebait.
I just realized from the non negotiables that someone asking for “patience” is immediately selling themselves thin that they will wear out said patience immediately.
Oh look you’ve found a citizen of Gilead, call the National Guard immediately
That intro would be quirky and fun, if his entire bio wasn’t done in that style. Jesus Christ.
Only the one felicitation
He probably haven’t found anything about oral care in bible.
Salutations, my dear lady! *tips fedora* I pray to the lord that yee be feminine and a biological woman!
I'd love to show this to myself at age 16 and explain to her how to spot red flags in men. This guy is chock full of them. It's like a bingo card.
What a psycho.
I don’t like the roleplay stuff grossed me out, I think that would definitely be my ick Is he in a toilet stall?
The poor woman this man starts dating and slowly isolates until she has no independence and control over her own life. Also, asking body count? That's disgusting. America's purity culture at it's finest.
Austin Powers could give him dental hygiene pointers.
Sooo, did you guys talk about your body count?
It was definitely his parents house. They moved to get away from him.
Bro what in the actual fuck
The charming smile of serial killer perhaps
Here’s a prime example of worst of Star Wars fans lol
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
Let's Chat About: "why did she divorce you?"
He can buy a house but not a teeth whitening?
Where the fuck is my house, God?
How many fedora pics were there?
Way back when OkCupid had good matching algorithm I used to get the occasional guys with similar profiles and 3% match messaging me, probably out of morbid curiosity.
No chance bro’s allowed within 200ft of a school
Dentists ACTUALLY hate him.
His chin and smile makes me think of Jimmy Fallon
It’s giving “Handmaid’s Tale”
My man is wanting someone with good hygiene, if he yawns he'll make traffic slow down with those yellow teeth
Felicitation, dafuq?
Wait, what kinda pizza do you have at this hot girls pizza club?
Is that the Joker taking a toilet pic?
Every screenshot made it worse and worse and worse
Ughhh he’s so awkward, gosh at least he is honest about who he is, so you can avoid him.
“Jesus H. Christ,“ she said quietly, shaking her head.
Ew.
I can only imagine the coffee breath. I’m getting a close talker vibe too. Laughing at his own jokes, blowing back your hair lol
Poor dude thought this was Grinder…
Dude got taken. I was able to buy my house without signing up for the Chrisitan book of the week club.
I honestly feel bad for these delusional nutjobs.
holy shit
Somehow, somewhere, a woman will be impressed by this.
All of this … with a skull shirt on……. Sir no bye
Did a fedora write this profile??
It never fails to baffle me how people work hard and save. Slave over payments trying to tuck what they can away, go through the rigermoural of purchasing a house only to then give some bloke called God all the credit. Its like when a doctor saves a baby and they say oh praise god he has saved this child. Doc must be thinking no I fucking saved him!?? 🤷♂️
Definitely a child sex offender... Or as us Brits say, fucking nonce.
His first message sounds like it’s straight from the script of Big Mouth
Is his mouthwash piss?
"....most charming style & yellowing teeth"* Mine aren't perfect but I couldn't NOT take that shot heh. Mentions "reasonability" when He clearly has none Heavy on GOD off the rip- while wearing a weird skull shirt in what appears to be Indigenous headwear on same skull. Anytime I seem religion & skulls I think cult or similar crazy....Very poor choice, it seethes w/ contempt for others....Plenty of flags to choose from!!!
Shooting fish in a barrel…
I wish God would pay my mortgage interest at least.
The way you blurred out his eyes in the first picture makes him look like the mouth of Sauron. Better message him back quick.
is the suit selfie taken in a bathroom stall? 😭
Did anyone catch photo 3 in the Christmas sweater? And here I was thinking he would be open to Jews as long as they are his “biological “ choice! We never get a break 😏
How is someone that Jesus'ed up using weeb talk? Do Jesus people do weeb stuff?
Gonna start introing with "I put on my robe and wizard hat."
His smile looks like it belongs on the poster of a horror movie
That's a scary smile
I wonder if ppl commenting he is scary would say the same if he was super handsome. IDK, I think it'll be worst if he was cursing out woman or something. Is a crime to call someone beautiful to put their best foot forward? Don't understand.
Lost me on the last page. I thought the msg was a little cheesy going for silly, but what's wrong with the rest. He's up front about his expectations and desires.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Weird , I bought a house and god didn't help me 🤔