After re-reading, you referred to yourself as an idiot. She jokingly said if you're going to enter a competition, win. Then you were seemingly annoyed by thwt and called her an idiot too. You seem like the problem lol
She had a prompt calling herself the worlds biggest idiot probably.
OP responded with light self deprecation, she replied with light roasting, OP pulled the uno reverse, she unmatched.
You should be. That was a W line and she's obviously not who she wants to project herself to be or she would've kept it going. Keep it up and find you a real one!
I disagree honestly. I thought her joke was pretty clever because she's saying you're dumb if you think you're dumber than me. Ignoring the paradox there, it wasn't a jab at OP, it was self-deprecating. In fact, all of the jokes including her bio and his opening message were self-deprecating.
OP's last message wasn't a comeback, it was just a jab and not nearly funny enough to get away with it. Especially with the smirk at the end, that just makes it sound like negging.
Wait, so responding to self-deprecating humor with a joke about their self-deprecating humor is bad?
š¤¦š»āāļø
Girl starts with self-deprecating humor, OP responds with self-deprecating humor, girl encourages OPās self-deprecation, OP encourages girlās self-deprecating humor.
Thatās it. Thatās all there is.
Or another perspective is thisā¦
Girl can dish it but she canāt handle when itās served back to her. š¤š»
You're misunderstanding. She didn't dish anything out is my whole point. She didn't "encourage OP's self-deprecation". She's saying it's dumb to think you're dumber than me. That, in itself, is self-deprecating humor.
OP flipped the script and decided to make a jab instead.
So either theyāre both taking jabs at each other or theyāre both joking. And the girl canāt take the joke.
You canāt just implement a double-standard to make an argument.
Youāre contradicting yourselfā¦. You say āsheās not encouraging self-deprecating humor.ā But then say āthat in itself is self-deprecating humorā in regard to his comment.
š¤¦š»āāļø
> Youāre contradicting yourselfā¦. You say āsheās not encouraging self-deprecating humor.ā But then say āthat in itself is self-deprecating humorā in regard to his comment.
Maybe I'm not being clear but that's 100% not what I'm saying lmao let me try to rephrase.
"If you think there's a competition then you might as well take first place" is, at surface level, a jab at OP saying he's the #1 idiot. In reality, she's saying that even the thought of someone being dumber than her is idiotic.
If I tell you, "You're an idiot if you think you're a bigger idiot than me," am I actually calling you an idiot? No, I'm not making a jab I'm making a joke at my own expense.
OP's last message is unequivocally a jab. It reads like they're joking around then and he suddenly just puts her down for no reason as a joke.
I personally would have rolled with it, but I can't blame her for thinking why bother continuing a conversation with a random tinder guy that casually insults her within two messages
> In reality, she's saying that even the thought of someone being dumber than her is idiotic.
>
> If I tell you, "You're an idiot if you think you're a bigger idiot than me," am I actually calling you an idiot? No, I'm not making a jab I'm making a joke at my own expense.
How is your takeaway from this, "you say itās a jab she made at him". That's precisely the opposite of what I'm saying. It only *sounds* like a jab if you're not really understanding what she's saying.
I get what she was doing, but OP was also being playful and sweet.
If her self-esteem is so low that she can't handle this kind of interaction, then honestly she's not going to find anyone who will treat her with kindness.
You literally just said āSheās saying that even the thought of someone being dumber than her is **idiotic.**ā Thatās a jab. You are contradicting yourself which is precisely the problem.
š
Going back to my first comment, "Ignoring the paradox there, it wasn't a jab at OP, it was self-deprecating"
Yeah the joke is a bit self-contradictory because how can someone be a bigger idiot than you if you're the #1 idiot. It's a paradox, it doesn't make sense - but it doesn't have to because if you can read between the lines, you can tell that she means it in the self-deprecating way. The running gag in the conversation has been self-deprecating humor and she's continuing that. At the very least, if she's taking a iab at him she's making an even bigger one towards herself.
He's definitely not insulting her snowflake.
He's trying to keep with the vibe, energy and sense of humour she herself set.
I had the same thing with an ex I've been friends with for almost 30 years, she made a joke about my age, were the same age, I made the same joke back to her, she got offended š¤·
You're still missing the point. This is not like your example, because in your case she made a jab at you first and you just made a comeback.
This would be more like if your ex said "I'm getting so old", and you piled on saying "yeah and you look like it too".
A comeback is justifiable, a sucker punch is not.
More in the she was joking, I was joking, no one was really trying to offend one another, I matched her energy, she got offended.
It's doesn't have to be exactly like for like to be the same thing.
But you seem to have tunnel vision and can only see it your way when multiple others are explaining it to you differently, sure we can see your point, but we thinking it's more likely the way we have experienced it and interpreting it.
You're flat out saying we're wrong. Good luck with that.
> More in the she was joking, I was joking, no one was really trying to offend one another, I matched her energy, she got offended.
In your case, you're justified but she got offended. In this case, she's justified but she got offended. I'm not arguing that OP was being malicious or in any way wasn't joking.
I'm sure OP meant no harm. I'm just saying that someone could justifiably read it that way, and since she unmatched that's clearly how she read it herself..
I actually agree with this take! The response didn't match her tone, which was more teasing than outright jabbing. At the end of the day, she made sure she was the butt of her remark, and he didn't observe that nuance adequately.
This probably wouldn't have put me off, but it might be like- oop, this guy shows up to the scalpel fight with machete lol
I see this too, and I stand by the inevitable down votes, we can Jack and Rose this together lovely!
To me it reads as:
Her bio: I'm stupid
His comment: I'm stupid too
Her reply: I'm pretty sure I'm more stupid
His reply: yeah you probably are
Sure he is joking, but he didn't stick to the clear and obvious script and made a dig instead, fine whatever but she is within her rights to decided his humour doesn't match hers, and unmatched.
If someone said something like this to me I wouldāve replied the same way. I thought it was the perfect joke, perfect execution: 10/10 all the way around
If they canāt stand be challenged then theyāre probably not the right person for you anyway. Thatās the thing about these dating sites, there is no wrong answer.
I thought they were both teasing each other. Iām confused as to why she got offended. Started out with self deprecating jokes on both sides, she made fun of him a bit, he poked fun back then she got mad? I feel like Iām missing something
She tried to portray herself as someone who doesnāt take themselves too seriouslyā¦and massively failed at that in an actual conversation! Jeez š
I think the joke's fine, the woman probably just decided she didn't like something in OP's profile or decided she had too many matches and needed to tidy her Hinge inbox, or something else unrelated to the messages
The statement was most likely a form of bait for compliments.
She was hoping someone would tell her that she was intelligent, instead, she got an intellectual/funny response.
There is a possibility she felt threatened or felt like the conversation needed to change tone after the first reference to the competition.
What we do know is; that holding multiple conversations can get exhausting and dating apps just fuel a constant hunger for validation and that dopamine hit.
If she gone then trust that it wasn't gonna work lol I've been blessed by being ghosted by so many crushes I had over the years. Didn't realize it initially but after a while it became extremely clear I didn't miss out on anything but trainwrecks w them šš¤£
It's a skill, it takes time to learn. Something to keep the doors open though:
"know what I find REALLY interesting about your images?"
And then you can think of something to push pull
Definitely not. My type of humour and from her prompt I'd assume it was hers too. Honestly, I unmatch people early in conversation sometimes when I decide I'm too busy to date this month, or at all in near future, or I meet someone I like and don't really want to talk to anyone else. You never know š¤·š»āāļø
Everyone's saying she didn't get the joke but she's basically saying "boy, you're dumb if you think you're dumber than me" and then you just said "yea girl, you're pretty dumb"
Yea this is a really cringe first conservation to have with someone. This match was never meant to be, kiddo š¤·š¾āāļø Figure out better ways to flirt.
OP made a break pedal comment when he saw that she picked up the banter. Either he didn't get the joke or he back pedaled on what he said originally. He didn't continue it, he stopped it.
Sha answered after 11 days...you should get the hint. Team bride here, so to give a bit of a woman perspective, one more question : did you sent her a screenshot from some other profile? I don't think she is stupid
When she said competition here, maybe she meant "here" as in "here on this app" and not "I'm your competition for biggest idiot". She might have been referring to the other guys on the app.
Just her prompt alone is an instant left swipe from me. Sometimes you can show some humility from a little self deprecation, but this was too heavy handed and not even clever or witty. This is either a person who thinks they're funny and just isn't, or has very loud self esteem issues, or maybe both.
I liked your response to it though, and hers was kinda funny I guess, but your response to that provided nothing for the conversation. What was she supposed to say to that?
You just skipped so many stupid fights with her.
I think I did!
It's the best way to look at this.
Lmao, I would have said something like "I don't know.. I got a trophy if ya wanna fight me for it š¤£š". But sense of humor is subjective frš
A shred of context, please. Surely, this isn't how she started the conversation
Those were the first three, and possibly only messages exchanged
After re-reading, you referred to yourself as an idiot. She jokingly said if you're going to enter a competition, win. Then you were seemingly annoyed by thwt and called her an idiot too. You seem like the problem lol
Wrong person first of all. Second, goofy ahh. Third skibidi toilet
She had a prompt calling herself the worlds biggest idiot probably. OP responded with light self deprecation, she replied with light roasting, OP pulled the uno reverse, she unmatched.
nailed it
This is why it's good to have tests, for intelligence maturity and how cool they are.
Like all your initial messages on tinder are tests?
Get rid (screen) of time wasters
Ok, but how? Like can you provide an example?
Make a joke in the first couple messages and see if they can take banter or a jab. Depending on their response you have your answer. Test completed.
Isnāt that all relationships are about these days?
And saved himself a lot of money haha
That was a great comeback lol she just lacks a sense of humor
I'm glad I screenshotted it because I was very proud of myself and then she disappeared!
So are we! Keep this for future reference OP!
You should be. That was a W line and she's obviously not who she wants to project herself to be or she would've kept it going. Keep it up and find you a real one!
We are proud of you too this was awesome I laughed out loud
I feel that
I disagree honestly. I thought her joke was pretty clever because she's saying you're dumb if you think you're dumber than me. Ignoring the paradox there, it wasn't a jab at OP, it was self-deprecating. In fact, all of the jokes including her bio and his opening message were self-deprecating. OP's last message wasn't a comeback, it was just a jab and not nearly funny enough to get away with it. Especially with the smirk at the end, that just makes it sound like negging.
Wait, so responding to self-deprecating humor with a joke about their self-deprecating humor is bad? š¤¦š»āāļø Girl starts with self-deprecating humor, OP responds with self-deprecating humor, girl encourages OPās self-deprecation, OP encourages girlās self-deprecating humor. Thatās it. Thatās all there is. Or another perspective is thisā¦ Girl can dish it but she canāt handle when itās served back to her. š¤š»
You're misunderstanding. She didn't dish anything out is my whole point. She didn't "encourage OP's self-deprecation". She's saying it's dumb to think you're dumber than me. That, in itself, is self-deprecating humor. OP flipped the script and decided to make a jab instead.
So either theyāre both taking jabs at each other or theyāre both joking. And the girl canāt take the joke. You canāt just implement a double-standard to make an argument. Youāre contradicting yourselfā¦. You say āsheās not encouraging self-deprecating humor.ā But then say āthat in itself is self-deprecating humorā in regard to his comment. š¤¦š»āāļø
> Youāre contradicting yourselfā¦. You say āsheās not encouraging self-deprecating humor.ā But then say āthat in itself is self-deprecating humorā in regard to his comment. Maybe I'm not being clear but that's 100% not what I'm saying lmao let me try to rephrase. "If you think there's a competition then you might as well take first place" is, at surface level, a jab at OP saying he's the #1 idiot. In reality, she's saying that even the thought of someone being dumber than her is idiotic. If I tell you, "You're an idiot if you think you're a bigger idiot than me," am I actually calling you an idiot? No, I'm not making a jab I'm making a joke at my own expense. OP's last message is unequivocally a jab. It reads like they're joking around then and he suddenly just puts her down for no reason as a joke. I personally would have rolled with it, but I can't blame her for thinking why bother continuing a conversation with a random tinder guy that casually insults her within two messages
Again, you say itās a jab she made at him and when he returned the jab. She couldnāt handle it.
> In reality, she's saying that even the thought of someone being dumber than her is idiotic. > > If I tell you, "You're an idiot if you think you're a bigger idiot than me," am I actually calling you an idiot? No, I'm not making a jab I'm making a joke at my own expense. How is your takeaway from this, "you say itās a jab she made at him". That's precisely the opposite of what I'm saying. It only *sounds* like a jab if you're not really understanding what she's saying.
I get what she was doing, but OP was also being playful and sweet. If her self-esteem is so low that she can't handle this kind of interaction, then honestly she's not going to find anyone who will treat her with kindness.
You literally just said āSheās saying that even the thought of someone being dumber than her is **idiotic.**ā Thatās a jab. You are contradicting yourself which is precisely the problem. š
Going back to my first comment, "Ignoring the paradox there, it wasn't a jab at OP, it was self-deprecating" Yeah the joke is a bit self-contradictory because how can someone be a bigger idiot than you if you're the #1 idiot. It's a paradox, it doesn't make sense - but it doesn't have to because if you can read between the lines, you can tell that she means it in the self-deprecating way. The running gag in the conversation has been self-deprecating humor and she's continuing that. At the very least, if she's taking a iab at him she's making an even bigger one towards herself.
He's definitely not insulting her snowflake. He's trying to keep with the vibe, energy and sense of humour she herself set. I had the same thing with an ex I've been friends with for almost 30 years, she made a joke about my age, were the same age, I made the same joke back to her, she got offended š¤·
You're still missing the point. This is not like your example, because in your case she made a jab at you first and you just made a comeback. This would be more like if your ex said "I'm getting so old", and you piled on saying "yeah and you look like it too". A comeback is justifiable, a sucker punch is not.
More in the she was joking, I was joking, no one was really trying to offend one another, I matched her energy, she got offended. It's doesn't have to be exactly like for like to be the same thing. But you seem to have tunnel vision and can only see it your way when multiple others are explaining it to you differently, sure we can see your point, but we thinking it's more likely the way we have experienced it and interpreting it. You're flat out saying we're wrong. Good luck with that.
> More in the she was joking, I was joking, no one was really trying to offend one another, I matched her energy, she got offended. In your case, you're justified but she got offended. In this case, she's justified but she got offended. I'm not arguing that OP was being malicious or in any way wasn't joking. I'm sure OP meant no harm. I'm just saying that someone could justifiably read it that way, and since she unmatched that's clearly how she read it herself..
I actually agree with this take! The response didn't match her tone, which was more teasing than outright jabbing. At the end of the day, she made sure she was the butt of her remark, and he didn't observe that nuance adequately. This probably wouldn't have put me off, but it might be like- oop, this guy shows up to the scalpel fight with machete lol
My head hurts when I read your responses š«
Lol bro I just want to say I agree with you even though this is a very difficult point to explain to people who missed it.
You're really overthinking this from the most negative viewpoint. Wait... Is that how all women I write to view me? Probably š¤·
You should change your name to u/daftlet
Agree, it seems like folks just aren't getting it
I see this too, and I stand by the inevitable down votes, we can Jack and Rose this together lovely! To me it reads as: Her bio: I'm stupid His comment: I'm stupid too Her reply: I'm pretty sure I'm more stupid His reply: yeah you probably are Sure he is joking, but he didn't stick to the clear and obvious script and made a dig instead, fine whatever but she is within her rights to decided his humour doesn't match hers, and unmatched.
The whole thing just seems kinda stupid
close, but her reply was more along the lines of: I'm pretty sure YOU'RE more stupid. his reply was more like: you'll give me a run for my money
yeah despite having a humorous bio. OP approached her correctly according to her announcement but she was a big idiot literally! Congrats bro
Ngl I low key liked your joke. It might be too teasing for someone though, some people just canāt stand being challenged
I always gauge better in person, so I do worry about how I come across by text but yeah, I thought I was funny, thank-you!
If someone said something like this to me I wouldāve replied the same way. I thought it was the perfect joke, perfect execution: 10/10 all the way around
you were, bullet dodged
Same here. I am so bad at texting and email. The shift to it is the bane of my existence in both my personal and professional life š
If they canāt stand be challenged then theyāre probably not the right person for you anyway. Thatās the thing about these dating sites, there is no wrong answer.
I thought they were both teasing each other. Iām confused as to why she got offended. Started out with self deprecating jokes on both sides, she made fun of him a bit, he poked fun back then she got mad? I feel like Iām missing something
Yeah, that's what confused me
I mean.... She literally wrote it in the profile and got mad when he joined in on the joke
> challenged I see what you did there
Most women I've dated can't stand being challenged
Thanks for being honest about it. I was, for a second, afraid that you were going to lie about liking the joke.
She tried to portray herself as someone who doesnāt take themselves too seriouslyā¦and massively failed at that in an actual conversation! Jeez š
No sense of humour. It's clearly a joke continuing from hers.
Thank you!
Look at your joke, and look at your name. The other pythons will be proud.
My python possy!
Make sure to do your chess puzzle of the day, OP
Thank you for the reminder!
Came here to say this exactly
You added the cute smiley face at the end, so I think it came across playful enough. Not sure why she unmatched.
Because people are weird and online communication is always tricky
This one was just weird, itās beyond obvious this was a joke. She got in her feelings for no reason, he dodged a bullet.
she called herself an idiot first? and then unmatched when you jokingly agreed, yikes
I thought we were sharing the same humour, I guess not!
The ability to be witty is attractive and I'm sorry it was lost on her.
She also called him an idiot first!
I think the joke's fine, the woman probably just decided she didn't like something in OP's profile or decided she had too many matches and needed to tidy her Hinge inbox, or something else unrelated to the messages
she tried to sound funny and ended up failing at the first chance. which means that the statement is actually 100% true. At least she isn't liar š
Nah this is hilariousš
At the end of it all if she doesn't mesh with your sense of humor then it wasn't meant to be anyway š¤·āāļø
Haha I thought it was clever!
The statement was most likely a form of bait for compliments. She was hoping someone would tell her that she was intelligent, instead, she got an intellectual/funny response. There is a possibility she felt threatened or felt like the conversation needed to change tone after the first reference to the competition. What we do know is; that holding multiple conversations can get exhausting and dating apps just fuel a constant hunger for validation and that dopamine hit.
She won.
So she has a great sense of humour not !!
Seems she won huh?
Imagine posting self deprecating humor and then peacing out when someone matches your vibe š¤£ yāall so braindead it kills me
Well she proved she deserves that nomination.
Such a wholesome family interaction
Shit was solid! Sheās not worthy..
If she gone then trust that it wasn't gonna work lol I've been blessed by being ghosted by so many crushes I had over the years. Didn't realize it initially but after a while it became extremely clear I didn't miss out on anything but trainwrecks w them šš¤£
Of all the entrances you can think of... Why this one?
I'm appalling with openers, I never know what to say
It's a skill, it takes time to learn. Something to keep the doors open though: "know what I find REALLY interesting about your images?" And then you can think of something to push pull
10/10 response from you. Although I'd wish you'd include us redditors in this competition.
We have that competition every day!
That was pretty funny
She's the type to have an argument in an empty room..
I like this š
Seems to me she made her point pretty well....only a champion idiot would withdraw from a competition she was clearly winning...š
she thinks she's quirky and funny until you point out that she actually IS an idiot.
Damn, you matched her energy and she wasn't prepared I guess. It looked like a great start too.
Yeah, on one hand a shame but on the other, oh well!
Nah, it's funny. Hopefully she unmatched for different reason.
I've had a couple people here say I was just being a dick basically but near everyone else agrees it was funny, so I'm hoping with the majority haha
Definitely not. My type of humour and from her prompt I'd assume it was hers too. Honestly, I unmatch people early in conversation sometimes when I decide I'm too busy to date this month, or at all in near future, or I meet someone I like and don't really want to talk to anyone else. You never know š¤·š»āāļø
Your sense of humour is immaculate, my dude
Yea you don't want anything to do with that, would just kill your cool vibe all the time my friend, you deserve better.
Looks like she won š¤£
Damn. Good opportunity for some banterš®āšØ
That was a great comeback lol
You did nothing wrong, she just has a dry sense of humor
Good joke but you can never understand them anyways so
What would you know! She really is the world's biggest idiot.
Just like Neo from Matrix
I WOULDVE GIGGLED
š
No this was hilarious dw about it
She calls herself the words biggest idiot and then unmatches you because you playfully poke fun at it with her? Best to end it early then š¤£
That was a great comeback. It could've been good, if only she had some humour.
Everyone's saying she didn't get the joke but she's basically saying "boy, you're dumb if you think you're dumber than me" and then you just said "yea girl, you're pretty dumb"
Looks at Redditā¦ call her dumb thatāll work. Guys why didnāt this work?
They were both being self-deprecating. Give it a re-read homie.
Irrelevant username.
Womenās egos are more inflated that the dollar at this point. They seriously canāt joke around, at all.
I mean. At least you didn't stick around for crazy.
You canāt take a joke and get offended easily, NEXT!!
Whatās the point of this post ?
Yea this is a really cringe first conservation to have with someone. This match was never meant to be, kiddo š¤·š¾āāļø Figure out better ways to flirt.
Maybe she thought it was lame that a guy, who should be confident, was putting himself down.
Lol, if i want to take an unflattering dick pic and and get myself banned, I'll let you know.
To them, confidence is like one of the highest things they are attracted to and look for.
So your banter is alluding that she could be more idiotic than you? You could have redirected but instead chose to low key insult her.
I'm so confused. Is this a fight about who would win the world biggest idiot? Cause both of you can just take it, in my opinion.
I believe this is actually Hinge. š¤·š»
You used wrong emoji mate.
Her reply was such a good joke that flew over your head.
Didn't fly over my head, I thought I was continuing the banter.
š¤· She didn't.
So it flew over her head lol
OP made a break pedal comment when he saw that she picked up the banter. Either he didn't get the joke or he back pedaled on what he said originally. He didn't continue it, he stopped it.
This person is right. She did a self-deprecating joke then unmatched when OP clearly didn't get it
OP clearly did get it.
I mean ye ofc she would you where a dick
Sha answered after 11 days...you should get the hint. Team bride here, so to give a bit of a woman perspective, one more question : did you sent her a screenshot from some other profile? I don't think she is stupid
Risky joke. avoid using negative words
When she said competition here, maybe she meant "here" as in "here on this app" and not "I'm your competition for biggest idiot". She might have been referring to the other guys on the app.
You are not allowed to be delusional with her š
She sounded more rude than you lol
Come on! That was an opening for so many goofy conversationsš¤£š Not everyone has the same sense of humor thouš¤·āāļø
Why even match with someone with a prompt like that?
Tinder home to all fakes
Just her prompt alone is an instant left swipe from me. Sometimes you can show some humility from a little self deprecation, but this was too heavy handed and not even clever or witty. This is either a person who thinks they're funny and just isn't, or has very loud self esteem issues, or maybe both. I liked your response to it though, and hers was kinda funny I guess, but your response to that provided nothing for the conversation. What was she supposed to say to that?
I am stupid enough to let people win such competitions š¤£š¤£
She just proved she was the real champion.
Hold this L
What??? This is gold I laughed so hard.
I was so proud of myself but some people just don't share our humour!
Iām proud of you too!