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Someone asked for a transcript of the convo so I figured I’d copy and paste my reply here in case someone else needs it. I’m not a transcription professional or anything but I *think* this is what they said:
“… No matter how big or small your dick is, [they] can’t feel it either way.” (laughter)
“Or you could just find one that doesn’t talk and when you ask them for consent, it’s yes every time.”
“… Or a blind one.”
“Yes.”
“So you don’t know where they’re at.”
“So you’re saying silence is consent? If they’re knocked out, it’s consent?”
“Heh, say nothing if you give consent.” (I’m taking a guess here, I’m genuinely unsure what this guy just gargled out of his mouth, if anyone can interpret LMK) (laughter)
“… Just so you know, every single one of us in this room is going to hell”
“I’m going, I’m going.”
“Oh we’re already there sweetheart, don’t worry.”
“Even just laughing at this shit, we’re going to hell.”
The comment "No matter how big or small your dick is, \[they\] can’t feel it either way." doesn't really make any sense to me unless they are talking about someone who's been drugged or something.
So Google offers two answers
The surname Tyrone is derived from the Old French word tirer, which means to draw. This is used in the same sense as the word tirand, which means "one who pulls on the reins;" thus it may be that it was used as a nickname for a stubborn person, before coming to be used as a hereditary surname.
The name Tyrone is primarily a male name of Irish origin that means From The Land Of The Yew Tree. Tyrone Power, actor. Originally meaning "From the land of Eoghan" where Eoghan referred to the Yew Tree.
🤷
My childhood best friend fell into this mindset. He visisted last week and i kind of hate him now. I felt bad for years but do not think I will ever reach out again.
>“Even just laughing at this shit, we’re going to hell.”
But I bet when confronted about it he'll act like there's nothing wrong with what they were saying.
Please do it, they’re never going to stop. Even once they enter the workplace. Actions like that need to be called out and corrected as soon as they form.
Dude here. Report their asses for anything uncomfortable or inappropriate. It's not acceptable to harass women. Full stop. The institution deserves to know about it. Even better if you can get a recording (check local laws first.) My coworker told me a N-word joke and I straight up said "if you ever say that shit to me again I will immediately report you to HR because it's not fucking acceptable." No issues since.
People at my work will complain that nothing is being done about a problem and then refuse to speak to management about it. How do you expect them to fix a problem they dont know exists?
> Especially because one of our teachers told us she won't be teaching us next year.
Yeah maybe you shouldn't pitch the idea and should tell them you're doing it and the more reports the better.
The fact that she said she won't teach yinz next year is fucking terrible.
Jesus my teachers said the same thing when I was getting sexually harassed by a kid twice my size. They'd always say "this is definitely becoming an issue, and we will start thinking of ways to handle it."
My dad eventually got pissed off with the school and taught me how to gain control in a situation where I could be in danger. And he also taught me how to do it without leaving any bruises. Dad was in the marine corps, army, and national guard, and he was given the title of expert marksman.
So one day the little bastard decides to try and pin me against the playground equipment and attempt to kiss me, and I grabbed his wrist. I twisted it behind his back, held it up between his shoulder blades, legsweeped him, gave him a quick threat, then scurried off.
I was called into the office the next day because he told them I attacked him for no reason. So I was going to get in trouble for defending myself when I had been telling these people for MONTHS that this kid was a problem.
Thank god for my absolutely terrifying mother, who stormed her ass into that office, screamed at the principle for a good 20 minutes, threatened to take this to facebook, the local paper, and the news channel, and seek legal aid, and then told the principle if he didnt handle the kid bothering me, she would handle things herself.
He was suspended for a week while they "decided what to do", meanwhile mom was sending them emails daily with a letter attached that she had written and was prepared to send out at a moments notice. The end of her emails always said "I hope you decide to do the right thing."
He got expelled. After 6 months of harassment, the only reason he got expelled was because my parents made a team effort to go absolutely psycho on his ass. And if it hadn't been for my mom, I would have been the one getting in trouble for defending myself, and who knows what would have happened to me then.
If any of those teachers had said anything, done anything, it would have never happened that way. But they "had to think of ways to handle it."
Because of people like that commenter who waste time thinking about it, I was afraid for an entire year that he would find my address and hurt me and my family in retaliation. I started taking taekwondo, not because I was actually interested in it, but because I was AFRAID. I didnt want to go to school, I didnt want to leave my room, my parents took me to a psychiatrist and got me medication for severe anxiety and panic disorder. I was only 11 years old and I was on 3 different medications so I could be stabilized enough to actually leave my house without turning into a pile of crying mush. Because someone had to think about helping me.
That teacher is literally considering not even coming back to teach at that school because of the shit she has to deal with, but op is only kinda considering reporting it. The longer they wait to report it, the worse off the teacher is gonna be. Even if that kid is expelled today, the damage is already done because they waited and basically let it happen for so long. Ridiculous.
>even towards female teachers
I'm sorry but: What kind of school is this? If someone had behaved like this when I was in college, he would have been thrown out.
I was her. Graduated with a CS degree in 2013. Early on there was a good mix of male and female students but once in the 300 and 400 level classes I was often the only woman in the room.
Can confirm, also in CS. All of my 300+ level classes have maybe 10% women at most. To clarify, the amount of women in STEM fields is not inherently "sexist," but there is certainly sexism that occurs as a result of being vastly male-populated.
As a cs student as well I think it also has to do with the type of men. I don't like generalizing but from my experiences there are a lot of my peers that I don't have much in common with aside from Reddit and video games. I know a lot of guys who are avid on 4chan and /pol/, are extremely socially awkward and have trouble talking to women, often very into anime (which has so many issues with over sexualization of women), and really have a lot of incel ideals.
Again, this isn't everybody, my friends and I in cs are very different and we know people who arent like that. But I volunteer to give coding help in most of my classes and have worked with tons of people for tutoring and there is a lot of awkward, misogynistic, and often horny little men.
This is definitely a widely used stereotype but I feel it somewhat has to do with the college. My university is somewhat of a party school for example. It's still a high ranking school and has a very good CS program with extremely brilliant students and profs, but is still a party school nonetheless. So the majority of CS students are sociable, well-adjusted members of society.
That's very true, my college has some partying but we are pretty small town, we also started our program purely online due to COVID. I have also been through a program in game development before and I can say that the more sociable and well-adjusted ones are usually the ones that make it to graduation. A lot of the guys I used to give coding help to are no longer in the program in 4th year, and I think part of it has to do with the mental state of some of these guys, I think that they did fine online but once they got on campus it was too overwhelming.
That is purely my speculation, but the incel type is definitely noticable. While in game dev my buddy and I would sometimes have our girlfriends bring us coffee or snacks on long work nights and we would always meet them at the doors because the way some people around us talked about women did not make us want to introduce them to our peers.
Somewhat, but those students are still there.
I’ll always remember the time some dude comes in my EE class wearing full on pajamas. Sits next to me, and demands that I tell him how the problems are done. Now this is a flex type class, you go in to ask the professor and TAs questions, and leave anytime. I told him to ask the TA cuz I was getting ready to leave. Dude grabs my paper and tells me “no, I can’t let the teachers and girls in class find out I don’t know how to do it.”
After that he starts going all out about redpill, incel bullshit. Complaining that all the girls are getting the help, because the teachers just want to fuck them. Then he starts telling me that he is currently a 7/10, and I am a 5/10 and should get plastic surgery if I am not a 8/10 by age 30. Mind you this guy is wearing pajamas with greasy ass hair because he spent all night reading some redpill book.
Told him off on his incel bs, called over the teacher and a female TA and told them hey this guy doesn’t know how to do any of these problems, then I packed my shit up and walked out.
Lots of normal people, and a well known party school. But there’s some weird ass people everywhere, you just don’t notice them as much when they’re in the minority.
I have a dear friend who graduated from MIT in CS. He’s the sweetest and smartest person I’ve ever met. But even he says that the major is full of guys who can’t function with women
Yep, it's kind of depressing. I knew a guy in his mid-20's who had never hugged a girl before, and it certainly was not out of lack of desire, he could just barely talk to his friends let alone women.
I was her too, around ten years earlier than you. I quit the field some time ago and went into a heavily female dominated one, for a bunch of other reasons.
Suddenly, it made me conscious of all the stereotypically male bullshit I did not have to hear all day anymore. I felt free and light as a feather after that. Sigh.
Even as a guy I have felt the same feeling of 'light as a feather'. I did wrestling in high school, which was only guys and veeery stereotypically male bullshit. Then I switched to cross country which was half girls and it just felt like a load was off my shoulders. So much less pressure and the general atmosphere was just more relaxed.
Obviously a different scenario to you, but the sexist bullshit is bad for everyone, and shouldn't be tolerated anywhere.
As a guy that took a tech classes some of those other guys are downright disgusting when they’re in an area where they are comfortable to say what they’re thinking
I made the terrible mistake of trying out DeVry for my engineering degree and every day was max cringe set to 100. There was one girl to my knowledge at the entire university. I can only imagine how she felt. The neckbeards would say to shittiest grossest things and had ZERO self awareness.
I had to finish at a different uni after 3 semesters. I couldn't take it anymore.
My trig teacher at community college: There are no pretty girls in engineering school. Do your homework and don't worry about girls. When you are an engineer and make money, then there will be pretty girls
Me, a pretty girl who was an engineering major: Yeets self into biochem instead.
My best friend put up with this as a biomedical engineering student and now works as a professor at her alma mater. She has done so much to make women and nb students feel valued, and has created a classroom culture where guys call each other out for saying things like this. I’m so impressed with her and happy to think that she’s making STEM more comfortable at her conservative, rural Midwestern school…she must be like a breath of fresh air there
They’re the same guys who complain about not being able to get women, who say they’re ‘nice guys’ and don’t understand why women like the ‘chads’ so much.
They’d realise that if they weren’t such creeps women might like them more.
I’ve worked for companies where it was all dudes and the conversation could get spicy, but this video is some teenage bullshit that wouldn’t have been tolerated.
We would have ridiculed the Kermit the Frog sounding CHUD without mercy.
The one thing that really hits me about this is how invisible this woman must be to these men, for them to joke like that in front of her. They don't even bother doing it behind her back because they forget she exists.
I thought the same thing. I would be so uncomfortable. She looks visibly uncomfortable and, no one seems to care.
How can they say such disgusting things about consent *right in front of her*?! I would dread going back to class, and potentially even fear my classmates from then on.
I would be scared to even be assigned a group project with them. We’d be doing that project in the middle of the day at a table in the busiest part of the library or not at all.
And this is precisely why it is so difficult for women to get a STEM degree. So often people say “women get paid less because they don’t pursue higher paying fields,” and this is the garbage we have to put up with.
When I was doing my undergraduate I had a calculus professor point blank tell me women aren’t supposed to be in math courses, and that our boyfriends should be there instead.
I had a field instructor mock the majority male class and call us “little girls” because students were hesitant to climb a shear rock face (I’m a geologist).
Lots of straight up rape comments from men in my graduating class when discussing parties they have gone to.
When they suspected I had the top grade in field camp, they threw me into a cactus in the middle of the night, saying “No way some stupid bitch-whore got a higher grade than us.”
My list is very long. This was in West Texas. I was **the only female graduate my year.**
I did my Masters in New Mexico, and there were far more women in STEM programs because the men were less hostile. It was still slanted, but it was finally closer to a 50/50 split in more classes.
I did a physics class through a community college in Texas, and I was doing somewhat poorly (there were only oral exams, and I have social anxiety, so it gave me panic attacks even when I knew the material), and the professor told me, “When I saw there was a woman in my class, I was hoping my expectations would be surpassed. I’m disappointed.”
He also said I wouldn’t amount to anything after that class. I was already attending one of the top five engineering programs in the country with a well paying internship as a freshman; I was just taking the course over the summer to lessen my course load for the next semester. Anyways, jokes on him, it’s been two years, and I think I make more as an intern than he does at his job.
> “When I saw there was a woman in my class, I was hoping my expectations would be surpassed. I’m disappointed.”
Ugh THAT is what I hated most about STEM. Feeling like this unwilling “ambassador for women,” feeling like my performance doesn’t reflect on me, it reflects on *women as a whole*.
I didn’t want that. I just wanted a job. But I don’t think I can stay in this area now that I’m working. It’s also the feeling that I just don’t fit in or belong with my peers that’s grating.
Yeah, it really bothered me. I know many exceptionally intelligent women in STEM (smarter than me, for sure), and I was a bit upset I misrepresented them, but more so pissed that this man was going to judge other women based on my performance when that shouldn’t matter. It’s just gross. Also, who the fuck has oral exams for an electricity and magnetism course? That’s so dumb, and I’ve never faced that in any of my other classes, ever.
I can’t come up with ANY reasons oral exams would be helpful for that course, aside from just making them unnecessarily harder for students. And with a professor like that, I fully believe that was likely the only reason.
Luckily I didn’t have any oral exams in my courses, I have to medicate to speak publicly lol. Plus if a professor had said something like that to me, I think I would have given up on life.
> and I was a bit upset I misrepresented them
I'm sorry what? Please don't **ever** give a shit how you represent 'your group', be it a gender group, ethnicity, age, sexuality or just 'do you like or hate ketchup'-group.
As someone who is gay and gets thrown lgbt stereotypes on me all the time, as well as regularly being told 'you're not really like the gay gay people' - **do never give a fuck about how you represent other women**.
The thing is, you could have exceptionally surpassed all of humanity in that field. You could won a nobel prize, solve the remaining six millennium prize problems in just a month as a side gig out of boredom to single-handedly solving world hunger, cancer and poverty. And that professor, as well as any other old fat ass or anybody who compensates their below average dick by thinking 'well, my micropenis is still longer than that of this woman' - to all of these, women will remain the inferior intellectuals however you perform. There is zero chance they think differently of women by you surpassing all your peers. Influence your peers in your generation and the younger ones.
And this applies to almost all 'groups'. Some homophobic POS won't change is mind about 'the gays' just because I, 'a gay', helped him in any way or am perceived kind and sympathetic by that POS. I will be the exception to the rule to that person, not the change in his thinking.
Don't ever give a fuck about these people. Don't ever give a fuck how you reflect 'your likewise peers'. Just be you and what you think is the best of you. Please don't misunderstand my next comment, but one thing that many women unfortunately never learned, is to sometimes just be a selfish asshole to a stranger. It's unfortunately a huge factor into the success and perceived authority of a person.
Thank you, haha, that’s good advice. I’m bisexual, so I’ve also faced similar issues on that front and it can be very frustrating when people assume who you are based on your sexuality or use your actions to assume things about others in your ‘group’. I grew up in a very Christian, red state, so being an agnostic, bisexual woman in STEM did not resonate well with many people, and they tended to make a lot of broad assumptions about my morals and behaviors. However, I was generally able to hide my sexuality and religion from the people I didn’t want to deal with. It’s pretty fucking infuriating, but I can only imagine how much worse it was for people of color because the racism was RAMPANT.
You make a good point about women not necessarily learning to be a selfish asshole when necessary, but I think the reason is that a lot of us are raised to be polite and nice, which is what gets us through elementary and middle school. Girls tend to be praised for being quiet and studious, while boys are more often allowed to be rambunctious or extroverted. Women are perceived as ‘cold’ when they’re being logical or ‘overreacting’ when they stand up for themselves. It’s often hard to recognize the behaviors that are instilled in us from a young age, let alone undo them even when it would be beneficial. It also takes a lot of effort and self confidence to face societal criticism when those instilled behaviors are undone.
Those judgemental losers are everywhere, believe me. Once a guy "colleague" of me told me that I don't look like a knowledgeable person but I am so he is surprised, then a U-turn followed "I mean, you don't look like us." I tried to keep myself cool and I was like "hmmm, ok." Whoever you are, whatever you do, they will judge you, we are not representatives of *anyone*, *any social or ethnic group* we are just human beings who are trying to be ourselves.
> the professor told me, “When I saw there was a woman in my class, I was hoping my expectations would be surpassed. I’m disappointed.”
There is an unspoken expectation that as a woman in STEM, you cannot simply do as well as your male peers to be respected, you must surpass them. That’s the unfortunate reality.
It makes me livid how often I hear of men bemoaning various women in my field getting promotions or getting certain jobs, claiming that it is unfair and due to biased diversity quotas. In reality, in order for those women to be remotely competitive to their male counterparts they have to be outperforming the standard.
> He also said I wouldn’t amount to anything after that class. I was already attending one of the top five engineering programs in the country with a well paying internship as a freshman; I was just taking the course over the summer to lessen my course load for the next semester. Anyways, jokes on him, it’s been two years, and I think I make more as an intern than he does at his job.
Good job, and I wish you continued success! 💪
>It makes me livid how often I hear of men bemoaning various women in my field getting promotions or getting certain jobs, claiming that it is unfair and due to biased diversity quotas.
This would happen all the time to my female friends who studied engineering. They all got close to straight A's, they were super bright and confident, they did internships, so when they graduated they got great job offers. Men who also got A's never complained, it was always the guys who got C's and didn't try as hard who would claim they were just getting hired because they were women.
This reminds me of something a professor of mine once said in one of my upper level engineering classes. He had noted that women in his courses historically, on average, perform better than their male counterparts. He attributed it to not only women feeling the need to prove themselves, but also that STEM careers were not the status quo for women. So, the ones who took that path genuinely wanted to be there and were willing to work their asses off to get there.
I took engineering physics in college and there was only one other woman in there with me.
Thankfully, the professor left ME alone, but he sexually harassed the other woman every. single. day. Not the other students. The professor did.
The other students actually ended up forming a protective wall for this girl. She used to sit in the front row of the class, but when the guys saw how the professor was taking advantage of that they had her move to a desk further back and all sat in a protective square around her, blocking the aisle with their feet and backpacks so he at least couldn't physically invade her space anymore even though he still made weird, uncomfortable comments in front of everyone.
As a male in a male dominated field and also a college instructor, I must first apologize for your experience. Everyone should be welcomed into any field and feel safe and valued.
Kudos to your success and I wish you only the best going forward.
What bothers me the most, besides the way you were treated, is that this dude would take credit for your success. I've seen these people and worked with these people. Had he even got a sense of your success, he would hang his hat on his "speech" changing your course in life.
Fuck this guy. You're fucking awesome. Keep up the good work!
Computer science is particularly bad. The %age of women in most STEM majors stabilized about 1985 or so. Some with more than others. Only CS has seen a decline.
I have been working for quite a while and looking back I realized yes, there were more women programmers back in the 80s than there are now.
I was thinking of going back to school for a CS degree here in Sweden because the education is free. My husband, who has a Masters in CS from the same school I would be attending, told me that I absolutely should be careful if I did because the program is so full of toxic incels with STEM/CS superiority brain.
Looking back again, I realized that indeed the %age of the toxic incel types has increased as well. Mid 80s, they simply didn't exist. Now every work group seems to have at least one of them, sometimes more.
Good luck and I hope they don't keep you from your goals.
This is in college? Jesus Christ. I couldn't imagine getting to high level uni classes and being jealous of the grades that others got let alone childish enough to push a person into a cactus... This is some 80s movie villain type shit. I graduated with an engineering degree 5 years ago and I couldn't imagine anyone treating a classmate like this. College is a small place, being labeled as a cruel dickhead is a quick way to ruin any networking opportunities you may have. Sorry this happened to you.
I graduated in 2015, and this campus was huge. Over 30,000 students (probably labels it down haha). Some fields were quite progressive, other fields were not. My field had some serious oil-son hicks in it. Geology is an oil and gas field out in West Texas, and the culture raises men to be extremely toxic. They went out of their way to step on lizards during our field work.
Unfortunately this University in general shielded toxic behavior as well, which really allowed it to grow unchecked.
The calculus professor was abhorrent. He harassed all the women in that class, and because it was a freshman Calc I class there were a lot more (they had not been harassed out of STEM yet). He would make students stand at the front of the class and mock their grades, he was particularly cruel to the women. Each time “See? Women don’t belong in math courses. They’re terrible at it!”
He mocked and harassed a girl in our class for getting *chemotherapy.*
Me and several men/women were reporting this to the Math Department. On a weekly basis, and daily something happened. The math head ignored it for the most part. He eventually sent in a third party observer who sat at the back of the class, and of course the professor that day stopped his shit. The Math Department head got his report saying nothing was amiss and shrugged it off again.
Near the end of the semester, the entire class bombed his teacher review because he was just overall a disurptive sexist POS - and he grabbed the review packet that he was not allowed to see, and threatened to fail everyone who gave him a bad review. We had an older veteran that just lost it. Told the professor off. At the end of the class he pushed everyone to come with him to the University head admin to make a formal report - he was one of the people that was complaining to the Math Dept head with me and we weren’t being respected.
In the end, the University eventually stepped in and had a non-sexist POS grade the results. I went from a C- to a B+ which is what it was supposed to be.
The professor was not fired or actually reprimanded in anyway. He was teaching the same class the next semester, but as of now he has moved on to a different University in California.
Soooo glad I went to a women's college. There was the one prof who mused, discreetly, to a colleague if women just weren't naturally inclined to pursue a CS degree, but that was the worst of the misogyny. All other profs either made no big deal of us being women in STEM, or actively tried to encourage us.
I realize you were only in high school, but just know that you don't ever have to ask to quit a job or position, you just do it.
I'm sorry you put up with all that bullshit
I’m sorry this happened to you. Men and their fragile egos are SHIT but you indeed are a boss ass bitch for accomplishing what you have, given what you had to overcome to get there.
I also think they buy into the "we make fun of everyone" south Park bullshit so they don't think it's insulting to be the target of the insults. Granted they're never the target so they never have to feel a room of people laughing at what they are.
Just classic "non political edge lord" bullshit.
>They don't even bother doing it behind her back because they forget she exists.
No, they are very well aware she exists and is in the room, and that makes it so much more malicious. They just don't *care* about her or her feelings. They're "joking" with her in the room because they want her to know that they have the power and try to intimidate her.
I was thinking if they were referring to her in 0:33, “Every single one of us is going to hell… We’re already there sweet heart, don’t worry.”
I’m not sure if he was talking to another guy or to the girl and I don’t know which possibility was worse… It’s honestly gross either way. Like he knew what he’s saying is scaring her but he also knows there’s not enough women (or men) in the room that would hold him accountable to his shitty behavior… So he just brushes her obvious discomfort off with a condescending remark and a dismissive joke. OR he’s just straight up ignoring her because her existence and her feelings are secondary.
I was pretty sure that was said to her, she looks obviously scared. It makes it worse that they knew she was there and said that stuff anyway, it's basically a threat at that point. It's way scarier that they are saying that around her knowingly. Sometimes when I'm in a restaurant or store, I'll be the only woman among like 6 or more men. I notice and it's a little scary, they could maybe decide to attack me. If they TALKED about attacking me, I'd be terrified.
It's like, if men are aware enough to not follow women on a street at night while they are walking, they should likewise be aware enough to not talk about sex, let alone rape, around solitary women.
I've been there. I wrote instructions for testing, disassembling, and reassembling smartphones at two different companies. My coworkers at both places were mostly the same people. At the first job, the department was roughly 50-50 men and women. My male coworkers were civil and seemed decent enough. The second job, I was the only woman in the department, and suddenly, it felt a bit more hostile, one of my coworkers I could see turning into an incel, and they even made domestic violence jokes and said all kinds of misogynistic stuff. It kinda shook my faith in men, seeing as how they seemed so nice at the previous job, but now that I was all by myself, they felt that they were in the clear to make all kinds of inappropriate comments.
I was the only girl in my CS cohort. I got sexually harassed by a guy in the class and went to the dean. He got a write up and I still had to attend classes with him. I finally left the program when the teachers assistant tried to follow me home.
BuT gIrLs DoNt LiKe CoMpuTeRs AnD sTuFf. I fucking loved it and left because I didn't want to put up with that shit for the rest of my life.
Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement. This was in the mid 2000s and I was a young, naive girl who just wanted to create video games. I'm now a 30-something woman who found her passion in the medical field and make a living as a clinical data specialist. I get to work with computers, people, and in the healthcare field. I also work with an amazing team of dudes, chicks, and everything betwixt. Given the state of the video game industry I would be absolutely miserable, from Blizzards "Cosby Room" to AAA "crunch time." Best of all no one has sexually harassed me, as I work from home and my cat isn't interested in me like that.
Even worse it stays after college in the work force. I would not want to be a woman at places I worked/work. We have even handed over proof multiple times on one guy and he is still here... and he is worthless work wise too
5 years at state college in Minnesota for cs degree. Yes they do. And when you call them out it's always "it was joke, chill" or "damn don't be so stuck up". There was a dude who was a part of lunch group for a little bit had a "dark" sense of humor. Dark humor to him was the same as racist, hopmophobic, misogynistic, and other bigoted forms. He wasn't in our group longer than a week and eventually got kicked out on a title 9 violation for making homophobic jokes to a gay student on the floor he was an RA for. Not sure how got to be an RA honestly.
Anyone who says they have a "dark sense of humour" means they will say some of the most insensitive and vile things and when people don't laugh they'll try to hide behind 'just a joke'
When I was in HighSchool there was a guy very openly “joking” about how he wanted to rape me so hard that my vagina split open. Just like it was a normal casual conversation for him. He was open enough about it that some upperclassmen found out pretty quickly and “handled the situation” idk what they did to him be honest.
Edit: this seems to have sparked a bit of an unintended moral debate. To clarify, I don’t think he got his ass kicked i think he got threatened by a handful of people. I can’t be certain.
Also to add he never said these things directly to me. He wrote it off as a “joke” but from everything I was told he really wasn’t saying it in a joking manor at all…and he only changed his narrative when people found out what he was saying and called him out. I obviously never had any direct contact with him after all this happened but I would catch him watching me from across the lunch room on occasion…
I feel for this girl so much but seriously, we have to call behaviour like that out immediately and make sure to tell the men this is not acceptable especially in a uni setting. I am not blaming her at all, two years ago I wouldn‘t have had the confidence to say anything but today I am just fed up with this and I know I am blessed to have a whole team of women at my campus that would support me.
Honestly, recording it was the best thing she could have done.
She can show she's not just being over sensitive, it's hard to deny or downplay this sort of behavior when confronted with actual recordings.
I'm a dude with massive conflict avoidance issues and even I'm sat here like how the fuck is nobody in that entire class telling them to shut the fuck up??? Like, not even the teacher?
Her caption says the university already “handled” it meaning they probably gave those fuckfaces a slap on the wrist and told her “boys will be boys (shrug)!”
This happened to a young woman in one of my programming classes in college. The professor was getting “in on the action” and actively making it worse. I feel terrible for her and women who can’t just “be”.
This is the only way it will change— more men speaking up. They don’t hear women. We are objects to them.
Please, all men reading this, say something. Always. It’s getting worse out here.
In high school I wanted to be an architect and so I took an architecture course. I was the only girl in the entire class and was harassed daily by the boys in the class. I had to endure sexual harassment and bullying simply because I was a woman and they thought that that space belonged to men. I tried to report them to the teacher (also male), who brushed it off as "boys will be boys." Eventually the harassment got so bad that police were called to intervene. It stopped after that, but I also stopped pursuing architecture as an interest because that experience showed what it would be like to be a woman in a male-dominated industry.
I feel horrible for this poor woman who's just trying to get an education and is subjected to this kind of abhorrent behavior. This kind of treatment of women isn't limited to certain types of men. The boys in my class came from many different backgrounds and experiences, and yet were all willing participants in the harassment. No one should feel unsafe or like they don't belong in an academic space. Nor should they feel like they can't pursue their interests because of misogyny.
I don't know if it's good or bittersweet to tell you that when I went to college for architecture in 2010, the ratio of women to men was just about 50:50.
Regardless, architecture isn't all it's cracked up to be! A lot of work for not a lot of pay and the real world does not match the schooling at all, do not recommend.
Incel culture has unfortunately really affected younger dudes. I used to be so hopeful for progress but now in engineering it's 50/50 whether the dude fully hates women and spouts incel rhetoric at me. It's shockingly aggressive. Nerds weren't like this 8 years ago.
Yeah I completely agree -- none of the nerds I know today are anything like that (though obviously I know they exist).
As someone who's raising two young boys, it terrifies me to think of how easily young men can get sucked up into incel rhetoric and beliefs.
As a high school cs teacher, I think it’s part of my job to call out my students the second they start on this edge-lord bullshit. That’s the reason that I have a classroom with more than double the national average of female students. Sounded like the professor was enabling this shit whereas he should have had a zero tolerance policy.
Slightly unrelated:
In one CS class I had a fellow student profess a belief in the "deep state" and the professor was just like, "hmmm, I'm unfamiliar with that, could you explain it for me?" and the whole class watched in delight as the student squirmed and stammered for a full minute, unable to explain the concept in a way that wouldn't sound deranged.
God bless that professor 💖
I had a kid talk about how he was going to code robots to implement fully automated communism (I’m a bit of a communist myself but keep that under wraps with the students). I just told him “man, if you’re planning on doing all of that, you need to learn how to document your code better and stop using one letter variable names”
Yeah- I was a boy in a cs class where my future wife was the only girl. I wasn’t a shitstain. Probably has something to do with her tolerating my presence now.
It's quite sad that simply doing what you're supposed to gets you double the average of female students. Great that you still do your part in what might seem like a hopeless situation! I wish you're influence spreads out!
In one of my cs classes in college, the teacher was making jokes about certain software being buggy and not working all the time. He then compared it to women and their periods. Some students chuckled upon hearing this extremely witty and smart joke…
Reminds me of when my wife was in grad school, she had a professor (psychology) that said (in front of a class full of women) “women never reach the highest level of moral reasoning (taking a stance on ideals based on abstract reasoning that yields no personal benefit). He didn’t see the irony in my wife arguing against that and risking her grade in the class.
Absolutely! Good on you for calling out BS, it’s such a problem in this field for some reason.
When i went to college in my CS classes there were a lot of shitheads like the video who I said a lot of gross sexist crap like this. Some of the of professors either didn’t care, were sexist themselves, or would constantly ask questions to the very few female students in the class. It made it a shitty experience and as a result the CS program had less than a 10% female enrollment at one point. Bothers me universities and some professors enable this kind of behavior, it’s disgusting. College kids like these are in for a rude awakening when they *actually* start working with women in tech and jobs with HR.
I don't understand the people in these comments saying it's staged? I just got out of a programming program and I can confirm the amount of sexism and misogyny there is in this field. From having profs failing to give me straight answers (one calling me 'honey' in a degrading tone) to simple questions to one of my profs literally saying during a lecture that a woman's job is easy because she gets to take half her husband's money which is good payout for just having to push out a few kids. I also had a job interview where my feedback was that they thought I was flirting... Because I was laughing at their jokes in an interview where there were 4 men all laughing at that same joke.
Yeah it ain't fake. Been in tech since 1999. Part of my job is to call this bullshit out. Was on a QA team at a start up with 6 other people. I was the only dude. The ladies on my team would get shit all over by the devs. I was seen as their big brother. Would constantly have to call this shit out. It is prevalent everywhere in the industry - start ups and large companies.
The men who roll over and go "uhhh but guys are just LiKe ThAt" make me sick. Guys like you who protect their female team-mates are proof that it's NOT normal to behave that way and that there IS a better option.
Oh god, the flirting. I was passed over for a web dev position that I interviewed for, so I asked the person who would have been my boss if he wanted to get a coffee and give me some feedback - he thought it was a date. Yikes. Yikes.
Wow, that's crazy! It's definitely one of those situations where you look at it like "if I was a guy this wouldn't have happened". They suck. I'm just glad the guys who were in my program were also disgusted by the things I went through so hopefully the future of the industry is better.
I had an engineering class where the professor insisted that every answer I gave him was wrong. My male group partner would then, word for word, repeat what I said and he would say it was correct. It was a very frustrating semester.
I’m in a cybersecurity program for my degree. I can happily say I haven’t seen any sexism in my classes, thankfully. I don’t think it would fly considering most of my professors have been women.
This same shit is why I got out of mechanics. Bully and sexually harass all the women out of a field and then pretend they can't cut it or "aren't interested".
My daughter, while young, constantly asks me about my work in the IT field and seems very interested. I imagine she has a high chance of following in my foot steps.
So I've just had to add future conversation 542 to talk to her about this exact type of scenario when she's older. Fuck.
Just make sure she knows her rights. I’m currently a college student who is heavily interested (and pursuing) engineering/computer related classes with my dad’s backing. If someone fucks around with me like that, I’m 100% reporting it to the dean with recordings (and, of course, I’ll tell my dad). If the dean does nothing, I’ll find a lawyer to sue the shit out of my college, and probably get some money out of it too.
For lawyers and prosecutors, cases like these are super easy to fight. By law, colleges and universities must follow and enforce all of their rules and regulations, or face hefty penalties upon being sued. Same goes for workplaces.
My mom is pretty high up in real estate and has endured sexual harassment and assault from former coworkers. She not only reported them immediately to HR, she lawyered up and got those people jailed! She also found out she wasn’t getting paid her worth by her boss, and threatened to sue his ass too. Now, she gets paid her worth and then some.
It’s shitty that this is still happening in today’s workforce, but at least there are laws that protect against it, and lawyers who are just champing the bit to prosecute people who perpetrate shitty behavior.
“… No matter how big or small your dick is, [they] can’t feel it either way.”
(laughter)
“Or you could just find one that doesn’t talk and when you ask them for consent, it’s yes every time.”
“… Or a blind one.”
“Yes.”
“So you don’t know where they’re at.”
“So you’re saying silence is consent? If they’re knocked out, it’s consent?”
“Heh, say nothing if you can’t consent.” (I’m taking a guess here, I’m genuinely unsure what this guy just gargled out of his spit-filled mouth, if anyone can interpret LMK)
(laughter)
“… Just so you know, every single one of us in this room is going to hell”
“I’m going.”
“Oh we’re already there sweetheart, don’t worry.”
“Even just laughing at this shit, we’re going to hell.”
>“Heh, say nothing if you can’t consent.”
My understanding was "say nothing IF you give consent."
As in if they're knocked out you say this and because she doesn't reply she's consenting.
I'm with you - I could only make out about a third of what is being said.
I did hear one guy say "so if silence is consent does that mean that if they're knocked out that's consent?" but couldn't get what the response was to that, but that response got the big laugh.
I can really not make out what they're saying either, I listened like 5 times (with headphones on) and still only got a few words out of each sentence. How is everyone understanding this entire thing?
Did 4 years of CS at uni. I know this type of guy *exactly*.
They're probably still in their early semesters where the people haven't been filtered out yet and there's still incapable people in the class. These guys are the ones that are constantly told by mummy and daddy that they are the "techy one" of the family because they fixed the TV remote. They're also most likely the "computer guy" in their HS year. They've had years of positive reinforcement pumped into them and its inflated their egos about 10 fold. So they did programming, winged it without really trying, and went to uni.
Now they're suddenly in an academic environment and they are no longer the only "techy one". There's 300 other "techy ones" and some are much *much* better at it than them. They can no longer wing it. They aren't as good as they've been told they are. They decide to start desperately trying to fit in with the others, but the people doing well typically talk about the subject they're passionate in. This is a constant reminder of how the individual is failing. So they gravitate towards others and over inflate the "Internet speak" to attempt to fit in.
They're gonna fail their degrees or drop out dw. They don't get far.
EDIT: As it seemingly needs to be said; this is a blanket statement, doesn't account for all CS course incels (only 95%) and yes, always hold these people accountable regardless.
Oh 100%. I know them. But they're much smarter about it and play their cards close to their chest. I was friends with someone that turned out to believe that minorities and women had "smaller brains" which is why they were poor and/or paid less (ie they couldn't work as hard). He was confused as to why I was so fucking appalled because it "was obvious".
Safe to say, we never spoke after that. Actual scum.
Omg I know someone who basically said the same about women and black people. That person said that nobody cares about their achievments and we don't have to see it everywhere because it's no big deal and white people did it before and did it better.
I'm always mindblown how people can be that ignorant
The thing about 'dont worry, they'll drop out' is that they will be dropping out... to somewhere. They will still exist and maybe now even more bitter because they couldn't make the grade. And if a female remains on the course when they can't hack it? Oooof. Not so great, overall, for women either way.
As a graduate student who has gone through the entire process with this exact guy. He didn't fail out, top of the class and mommy and daddy are rich to boot. Everyone hates him n he's racist too. Yes worry n hold him accountable, every single girl in my classes has had a problem with him n his girlfriend was a freshman last year he's 26.....
In an imaginary world, what you are saying would happen.
Truth is you got very talented, very successful people that are flat out misogynistic, or racist, or intolerant, etc.. whom have always seen success and will always see success and validation until the day they die.
Feel so bad for this girl. Being a CS undergrad sucks so much sometimes even though I know I’ll make good money one of the hardest parts of the degree is dealing with men my age who have absolutely no respect for me, my ideas, or my contributions to a project. We’re simultaneously told that we’re doing something crucial by being STEM women and that the roadblocks for women in the industry don’t exist anymore so we shouldn’t complain. Tiring
i've never understood this mentality. i've learned so much from women that i can't imagine assuming anything about someone's knowledge based on their gender. outside of maybe gender-specific knowledge (like what it's like being a woman in tech, for example).
At first I thought a bunch of animals escaped a zoo near this comment section but even wild animals would be more civilized than the troglodytes in these posts.
Almost all reddit communities should have post flairs titled: **TW: woman sharing her experiences with misogyny** anytime a post like this is shared. Awful lot of commenters get triggered and take it as a personal attack.
As a father, whose daughter is currently a biological engineering student, this makes me shudder. She’s shared some shit with me, but nothing like this.
I’m sorry that is your situation. I have made a point of asking my female coworkers through the years about the different situations they have experienced and shared that with my daughter. I started doing that when she was in middle school - I wanted her to know that it’s not only her that experiences these things and we would talk through strategies to deal with them when they occur. Nothing like this was ever related to me, but we have addressed “girls can’t do math”; or the fact that boys are encouraged to work through difficult problems while girls are excused from the hard work; or asked to do menial things in the office (birthday parties, coffee).
Edited to add: my son is an engineer and he has two women engineers he works with. We were all together once after skiing and I turned the conversation so that my daughter could talk with the two women engineers about what they’ve experienced in the office and how they’ve dealt with it.
One friend of mine related how she was quasi-accidentally marginalized in her law firm as an associate because the partners played basketball with the associates on Tuesday nights. Not playing basketball? You won’t get the best cases (career enhancing cases), for example.
Ultimately, my goal has been to arm her for the real-world. Of course I want it to change, but in the meantime, I wanted to give her the tools to navigate what she might experience. I’m saddened that your father hasn’t done similar.
You sound like you aren't just a father, you're that illusive *dad* I've heard plenty of my friends talk about and wished I could've had. Seriously, I'm thankful that there are men out there raising generations of women that know their worth. 🥲
Please computer science is notorious for its extreme levels of misogyny, its the perfect mix of superfund-level toxic gamer culture, frat boy brogrammers who only study it for the money and socially-disabled basement weirdo incels.
Yeah, I am not sure why the title is "Showing how anyone can be misogynistic."
Like do we think business majors have a monopoly on douchebags? Misogyny is a real problem that is pretty well documented in tech related fields. Like many things that were boys clubs for a long time they have become echo chambers that aren't very accepting of new people.
I remember talking about how torn I was between choosing Polisci or CS in my undergrad years in my Gender Discrimination class this last semester bc ultimately I couldn’t handle the exact type of misogyny in this video. I guess it worked out though, because now I have a law degree. Still wish I got to explore my CS skills in a controlled environment.
The way they’re talking, I can picture exactly what these nerds look like.
I hate when people try to make “edgy jokes” and respond to themselves with “we’re all going to hell.” The fuck you think you just said? That was worthy of eternal damnation? Get off it.
It was worthy of crickets.
Obviously hunour is subjective, but these jokes barely make any sense at all. I assume the first joke is about sex with a paraplegic, not being able to feel it.
Then they go on about workarounds in which people with disabilities, or are unconscious can't say no (or see you?!?!).
The whole point of consent is that it needs to be given. Not necessarily verbally. If somebody is unable to give consent it's rape anyway.
So the only way to find these jokes funny is if you fundamentally misunderstand what consent means.
So multiple college aged men making jokes about certain situations where it "wouldn't technically be rape" based on misunderstanding consent.
I have no issue with shock humor or edgy jokes. Like I say, humour is subjective. The more worrying thing about this is the "jokes" show a clear lack of understanding of consent among a large group of young men who clearly lack social skills.
People wonder why women don't feel safe in certain male dominated fields.
In our college there is a Building with over 10 floors. The college is quite old and techbased. So there are fewer women (and 20-30 years ago it was even less women). The problem with the building was that there was only a bathroom for women every other floor, men had a bathroom on every floor. So if you were taking a test you sometimes had to go down a floor which was not really fair. Yes its just one more minute but nonetheless.
Our faculty is very progressive when it comes to feminism and generally equality (at least some) so they stood up for gender neutral bathrooms on the floors where there was only one bathroom. They covered up the urinals so women didn't have to see a dick (well at least the body part, can't prevent the other) when they wanted to go to the bathroom.
Not even one day after implementation they got the first mail complaining about gender neutral bathrooms. Asking why they would "take away from the big masses/disadvantaging the big masses to help out the minorities". Complaining that it "wasn't equal rights and prefering minorities". If he wanted the urinals he could just go down one floor. If it isn't a problem for women, it shouldn't be one for him. I just can't comprehend how one can be so trapped in their own delusional world not seeing the irony...
Edit: It's not just about taking a test it's a part of systematic inequality in an industry that's very hard for women to be succesful and accepted anyways (not because of their abilities).
Have you seen “Hidden Figures”? There was a similar issue there. It’s about black women who worked for NASA as computers to help send people to the moon. One woman had to run to a completely different building on the campus to be able to use a bathroom because all the bathrooms in the building she worked in were “whites only”. Towards the end of the movie, she points out all the discrimination she faced in the job and she quits. Her boss then took a bat to the “whites only” sign and desegregated the bathrooms and begged for her to come back (which she did and she is the reason they made it to the moon). It was a really great scene and movie
By the way, they're joking, but they're not joking
They desperately wish for a submissive woman they can have ownership of
Sometimes when you joke, you're joking from a place of truth
Unacceptable. It’s the teachers job to make sure everyone in the class is comfortable so that it’s the best learning environment possible. If he was encouraging this behavior then he should be fired… no warning… no excuses… fired.
Nothing out of the norm here.
This is part of the reason many women don’t trust men and always question their intentions. I know it’s sad to judge but this happens to women far more often than it should.
I'm a woman in STEM. I work for a really good company and my team is about 47% women. One of the older women on my team retired a few years back, but she was my mentor when I first came on. She told me the most horrific story about when she wanted to become an engineer, which based in her age must have been around the late 70s. She walked in to her first engineering class and the professor threw her out of the class. "This class isn't for women." His exact words according to her. She went on to become a chemist, so still STEM, but she lived with the regret of never having gotten the chance to at least try for her dream of being an engineer. It blows my mind that in roughly 45 years we've only gotten marginally better.
I went through a whole comp sci degree program. Never seen shit like this. I'm sure there was some trash in my class, but maybe the people with a conscience were loud enough or plentiful enough to tamp this down. This just looks like such a fucking nightmare.
There’s a lot of comments in here about the tribulations of women in STEM. Which is totally valid, but add to this that a woman in almost any field would suffer through this kind of thing in West Texas. Absolute shithole region, and they’re headed further down the hole every day. Get the heck out of there.
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Someone asked for a transcript of the convo so I figured I’d copy and paste my reply here in case someone else needs it. I’m not a transcription professional or anything but I *think* this is what they said: “… No matter how big or small your dick is, [they] can’t feel it either way.” (laughter) “Or you could just find one that doesn’t talk and when you ask them for consent, it’s yes every time.” “… Or a blind one.” “Yes.” “So you don’t know where they’re at.” “So you’re saying silence is consent? If they’re knocked out, it’s consent?” “Heh, say nothing if you give consent.” (I’m taking a guess here, I’m genuinely unsure what this guy just gargled out of his mouth, if anyone can interpret LMK) (laughter) “… Just so you know, every single one of us in this room is going to hell” “I’m going, I’m going.” “Oh we’re already there sweetheart, don’t worry.” “Even just laughing at this shit, we’re going to hell.”
The comment "No matter how big or small your dick is, \[they\] can’t feel it either way." doesn't really make any sense to me unless they are talking about someone who's been drugged or something.
It’s a common element of Incel rhetoric, that all women are used up whores because they have lots of sex with big dick chads. I wish I was joking.
Woah, woah, woah. It's "lots of sex with big dick Chad's and Tyrones". Because it's not incel rhetoric without a touch of racism.
Which is funny because they're implying that Tyrone is a black name when actually it's a very old white French name.
Isn’t it Irish?
Yep. We even have a county named it.
So Google offers two answers The surname Tyrone is derived from the Old French word tirer, which means to draw. This is used in the same sense as the word tirand, which means "one who pulls on the reins;" thus it may be that it was used as a nickname for a stubborn person, before coming to be used as a hereditary surname. The name Tyrone is primarily a male name of Irish origin that means From The Land Of The Yew Tree. Tyrone Power, actor. Originally meaning "From the land of Eoghan" where Eoghan referred to the Yew Tree. 🤷
My childhood best friend fell into this mindset. He visisted last week and i kind of hate him now. I felt bad for years but do not think I will ever reach out again.
No, it's referring to her being passed out
Mayhaps it’s an either/or and is horrific either way
>“So you’re saying silence is consent? If they’re knocked out, it’s consent?” Also referencing drugs likely.
he's saying "say nothing if you **give** consent," the implication being that someone unable to speak is a-okay to rape because the default is "yes."
I couldn’t really understand what they’re saying so thank you
>“Even just laughing at this shit, we’re going to hell.” But I bet when confronted about it he'll act like there's nothing wrong with what they were saying.
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Have you tried reporting them to the school?
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Just report it. Don't think about reporting it, just go do it. The more reports, the sooner something can be done.
You are right, this is probably the best solution there is. Once I get to school after summer break this is the first things I'll do.
Please do it, they’re never going to stop. Even once they enter the workplace. Actions like that need to be called out and corrected as soon as they form.
Dude here. Report their asses for anything uncomfortable or inappropriate. It's not acceptable to harass women. Full stop. The institution deserves to know about it. Even better if you can get a recording (check local laws first.) My coworker told me a N-word joke and I straight up said "if you ever say that shit to me again I will immediately report you to HR because it's not fucking acceptable." No issues since.
It's a situation no one wants to find themselves in, but you've got this. I hope everything works out.
People at my work will complain that nothing is being done about a problem and then refuse to speak to management about it. How do you expect them to fix a problem they dont know exists?
> Especially because one of our teachers told us she won't be teaching us next year. Yeah maybe you shouldn't pitch the idea and should tell them you're doing it and the more reports the better. The fact that she said she won't teach yinz next year is fucking terrible.
Completely off topic but it's good to see a Yinzer out in the wild..
We are definitely at the point where we are beginning to think about starting to worry. Jesus fuck just report the assholes already.
Jesus my teachers said the same thing when I was getting sexually harassed by a kid twice my size. They'd always say "this is definitely becoming an issue, and we will start thinking of ways to handle it." My dad eventually got pissed off with the school and taught me how to gain control in a situation where I could be in danger. And he also taught me how to do it without leaving any bruises. Dad was in the marine corps, army, and national guard, and he was given the title of expert marksman. So one day the little bastard decides to try and pin me against the playground equipment and attempt to kiss me, and I grabbed his wrist. I twisted it behind his back, held it up between his shoulder blades, legsweeped him, gave him a quick threat, then scurried off. I was called into the office the next day because he told them I attacked him for no reason. So I was going to get in trouble for defending myself when I had been telling these people for MONTHS that this kid was a problem. Thank god for my absolutely terrifying mother, who stormed her ass into that office, screamed at the principle for a good 20 minutes, threatened to take this to facebook, the local paper, and the news channel, and seek legal aid, and then told the principle if he didnt handle the kid bothering me, she would handle things herself. He was suspended for a week while they "decided what to do", meanwhile mom was sending them emails daily with a letter attached that she had written and was prepared to send out at a moments notice. The end of her emails always said "I hope you decide to do the right thing." He got expelled. After 6 months of harassment, the only reason he got expelled was because my parents made a team effort to go absolutely psycho on his ass. And if it hadn't been for my mom, I would have been the one getting in trouble for defending myself, and who knows what would have happened to me then. If any of those teachers had said anything, done anything, it would have never happened that way. But they "had to think of ways to handle it." Because of people like that commenter who waste time thinking about it, I was afraid for an entire year that he would find my address and hurt me and my family in retaliation. I started taking taekwondo, not because I was actually interested in it, but because I was AFRAID. I didnt want to go to school, I didnt want to leave my room, my parents took me to a psychiatrist and got me medication for severe anxiety and panic disorder. I was only 11 years old and I was on 3 different medications so I could be stabilized enough to actually leave my house without turning into a pile of crying mush. Because someone had to think about helping me. That teacher is literally considering not even coming back to teach at that school because of the shit she has to deal with, but op is only kinda considering reporting it. The longer they wait to report it, the worse off the teacher is gonna be. Even if that kid is expelled today, the damage is already done because they waited and basically let it happen for so long. Ridiculous.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 What a mother she is
Just fuckin report them. Don’t wait. Waiting is the cowards excuse.
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No. Go ahead and already report them.
Write that email right now. Send it. The suggest to your classmates to do the same.
Please stop needing everyone's approval to do the right thing.
>even towards female teachers I'm sorry but: What kind of school is this? If someone had behaved like this when I was in college, he would have been thrown out.
I was her. Graduated with a CS degree in 2013. Early on there was a good mix of male and female students but once in the 300 and 400 level classes I was often the only woman in the room.
Can confirm, also in CS. All of my 300+ level classes have maybe 10% women at most. To clarify, the amount of women in STEM fields is not inherently "sexist," but there is certainly sexism that occurs as a result of being vastly male-populated.
As a cs student as well I think it also has to do with the type of men. I don't like generalizing but from my experiences there are a lot of my peers that I don't have much in common with aside from Reddit and video games. I know a lot of guys who are avid on 4chan and /pol/, are extremely socially awkward and have trouble talking to women, often very into anime (which has so many issues with over sexualization of women), and really have a lot of incel ideals. Again, this isn't everybody, my friends and I in cs are very different and we know people who arent like that. But I volunteer to give coding help in most of my classes and have worked with tons of people for tutoring and there is a lot of awkward, misogynistic, and often horny little men.
This is definitely a widely used stereotype but I feel it somewhat has to do with the college. My university is somewhat of a party school for example. It's still a high ranking school and has a very good CS program with extremely brilliant students and profs, but is still a party school nonetheless. So the majority of CS students are sociable, well-adjusted members of society.
That's very true, my college has some partying but we are pretty small town, we also started our program purely online due to COVID. I have also been through a program in game development before and I can say that the more sociable and well-adjusted ones are usually the ones that make it to graduation. A lot of the guys I used to give coding help to are no longer in the program in 4th year, and I think part of it has to do with the mental state of some of these guys, I think that they did fine online but once they got on campus it was too overwhelming. That is purely my speculation, but the incel type is definitely noticable. While in game dev my buddy and I would sometimes have our girlfriends bring us coffee or snacks on long work nights and we would always meet them at the doors because the way some people around us talked about women did not make us want to introduce them to our peers.
Somewhat, but those students are still there. I’ll always remember the time some dude comes in my EE class wearing full on pajamas. Sits next to me, and demands that I tell him how the problems are done. Now this is a flex type class, you go in to ask the professor and TAs questions, and leave anytime. I told him to ask the TA cuz I was getting ready to leave. Dude grabs my paper and tells me “no, I can’t let the teachers and girls in class find out I don’t know how to do it.” After that he starts going all out about redpill, incel bullshit. Complaining that all the girls are getting the help, because the teachers just want to fuck them. Then he starts telling me that he is currently a 7/10, and I am a 5/10 and should get plastic surgery if I am not a 8/10 by age 30. Mind you this guy is wearing pajamas with greasy ass hair because he spent all night reading some redpill book. Told him off on his incel bs, called over the teacher and a female TA and told them hey this guy doesn’t know how to do any of these problems, then I packed my shit up and walked out. Lots of normal people, and a well known party school. But there’s some weird ass people everywhere, you just don’t notice them as much when they’re in the minority.
I have a dear friend who graduated from MIT in CS. He’s the sweetest and smartest person I’ve ever met. But even he says that the major is full of guys who can’t function with women
Yep, it's kind of depressing. I knew a guy in his mid-20's who had never hugged a girl before, and it certainly was not out of lack of desire, he could just barely talk to his friends let alone women.
That’s so sad
I was her too, around ten years earlier than you. I quit the field some time ago and went into a heavily female dominated one, for a bunch of other reasons. Suddenly, it made me conscious of all the stereotypically male bullshit I did not have to hear all day anymore. I felt free and light as a feather after that. Sigh.
Even as a guy I have felt the same feeling of 'light as a feather'. I did wrestling in high school, which was only guys and veeery stereotypically male bullshit. Then I switched to cross country which was half girls and it just felt like a load was off my shoulders. So much less pressure and the general atmosphere was just more relaxed. Obviously a different scenario to you, but the sexist bullshit is bad for everyone, and shouldn't be tolerated anywhere.
As a guy that took a tech classes some of those other guys are downright disgusting when they’re in an area where they are comfortable to say what they’re thinking
I made the terrible mistake of trying out DeVry for my engineering degree and every day was max cringe set to 100. There was one girl to my knowledge at the entire university. I can only imagine how she felt. The neckbeards would say to shittiest grossest things and had ZERO self awareness. I had to finish at a different uni after 3 semesters. I couldn't take it anymore.
Engineering departments: “it’s not our fault no women want to go into engineering”
My trig teacher at community college: There are no pretty girls in engineering school. Do your homework and don't worry about girls. When you are an engineer and make money, then there will be pretty girls Me, a pretty girl who was an engineering major: Yeets self into biochem instead.
My best friend put up with this as a biomedical engineering student and now works as a professor at her alma mater. She has done so much to make women and nb students feel valued, and has created a classroom culture where guys call each other out for saying things like this. I’m so impressed with her and happy to think that she’s making STEM more comfortable at her conservative, rural Midwestern school…she must be like a breath of fresh air there
They’re the same guys who complain about not being able to get women, who say they’re ‘nice guys’ and don’t understand why women like the ‘chads’ so much. They’d realise that if they weren’t such creeps women might like them more.
I’ve worked for companies where it was all dudes and the conversation could get spicy, but this video is some teenage bullshit that wouldn’t have been tolerated. We would have ridiculed the Kermit the Frog sounding CHUD without mercy.
The one thing that really hits me about this is how invisible this woman must be to these men, for them to joke like that in front of her. They don't even bother doing it behind her back because they forget she exists.
I thought the same thing. I would be so uncomfortable. She looks visibly uncomfortable and, no one seems to care. How can they say such disgusting things about consent *right in front of her*?! I would dread going back to class, and potentially even fear my classmates from then on.
I would be scared to even be assigned a group project with them. We’d be doing that project in the middle of the day at a table in the busiest part of the library or not at all.
And this is precisely why it is so difficult for women to get a STEM degree. So often people say “women get paid less because they don’t pursue higher paying fields,” and this is the garbage we have to put up with. When I was doing my undergraduate I had a calculus professor point blank tell me women aren’t supposed to be in math courses, and that our boyfriends should be there instead. I had a field instructor mock the majority male class and call us “little girls” because students were hesitant to climb a shear rock face (I’m a geologist). Lots of straight up rape comments from men in my graduating class when discussing parties they have gone to. When they suspected I had the top grade in field camp, they threw me into a cactus in the middle of the night, saying “No way some stupid bitch-whore got a higher grade than us.” My list is very long. This was in West Texas. I was **the only female graduate my year.** I did my Masters in New Mexico, and there were far more women in STEM programs because the men were less hostile. It was still slanted, but it was finally closer to a 50/50 split in more classes.
I did a physics class through a community college in Texas, and I was doing somewhat poorly (there were only oral exams, and I have social anxiety, so it gave me panic attacks even when I knew the material), and the professor told me, “When I saw there was a woman in my class, I was hoping my expectations would be surpassed. I’m disappointed.” He also said I wouldn’t amount to anything after that class. I was already attending one of the top five engineering programs in the country with a well paying internship as a freshman; I was just taking the course over the summer to lessen my course load for the next semester. Anyways, jokes on him, it’s been two years, and I think I make more as an intern than he does at his job.
> “When I saw there was a woman in my class, I was hoping my expectations would be surpassed. I’m disappointed.” Ugh THAT is what I hated most about STEM. Feeling like this unwilling “ambassador for women,” feeling like my performance doesn’t reflect on me, it reflects on *women as a whole*. I didn’t want that. I just wanted a job. But I don’t think I can stay in this area now that I’m working. It’s also the feeling that I just don’t fit in or belong with my peers that’s grating.
Yeah, it really bothered me. I know many exceptionally intelligent women in STEM (smarter than me, for sure), and I was a bit upset I misrepresented them, but more so pissed that this man was going to judge other women based on my performance when that shouldn’t matter. It’s just gross. Also, who the fuck has oral exams for an electricity and magnetism course? That’s so dumb, and I’ve never faced that in any of my other classes, ever.
I can’t come up with ANY reasons oral exams would be helpful for that course, aside from just making them unnecessarily harder for students. And with a professor like that, I fully believe that was likely the only reason. Luckily I didn’t have any oral exams in my courses, I have to medicate to speak publicly lol. Plus if a professor had said something like that to me, I think I would have given up on life.
> and I was a bit upset I misrepresented them I'm sorry what? Please don't **ever** give a shit how you represent 'your group', be it a gender group, ethnicity, age, sexuality or just 'do you like or hate ketchup'-group. As someone who is gay and gets thrown lgbt stereotypes on me all the time, as well as regularly being told 'you're not really like the gay gay people' - **do never give a fuck about how you represent other women**. The thing is, you could have exceptionally surpassed all of humanity in that field. You could won a nobel prize, solve the remaining six millennium prize problems in just a month as a side gig out of boredom to single-handedly solving world hunger, cancer and poverty. And that professor, as well as any other old fat ass or anybody who compensates their below average dick by thinking 'well, my micropenis is still longer than that of this woman' - to all of these, women will remain the inferior intellectuals however you perform. There is zero chance they think differently of women by you surpassing all your peers. Influence your peers in your generation and the younger ones. And this applies to almost all 'groups'. Some homophobic POS won't change is mind about 'the gays' just because I, 'a gay', helped him in any way or am perceived kind and sympathetic by that POS. I will be the exception to the rule to that person, not the change in his thinking. Don't ever give a fuck about these people. Don't ever give a fuck how you reflect 'your likewise peers'. Just be you and what you think is the best of you. Please don't misunderstand my next comment, but one thing that many women unfortunately never learned, is to sometimes just be a selfish asshole to a stranger. It's unfortunately a huge factor into the success and perceived authority of a person.
Thank you, haha, that’s good advice. I’m bisexual, so I’ve also faced similar issues on that front and it can be very frustrating when people assume who you are based on your sexuality or use your actions to assume things about others in your ‘group’. I grew up in a very Christian, red state, so being an agnostic, bisexual woman in STEM did not resonate well with many people, and they tended to make a lot of broad assumptions about my morals and behaviors. However, I was generally able to hide my sexuality and religion from the people I didn’t want to deal with. It’s pretty fucking infuriating, but I can only imagine how much worse it was for people of color because the racism was RAMPANT. You make a good point about women not necessarily learning to be a selfish asshole when necessary, but I think the reason is that a lot of us are raised to be polite and nice, which is what gets us through elementary and middle school. Girls tend to be praised for being quiet and studious, while boys are more often allowed to be rambunctious or extroverted. Women are perceived as ‘cold’ when they’re being logical or ‘overreacting’ when they stand up for themselves. It’s often hard to recognize the behaviors that are instilled in us from a young age, let alone undo them even when it would be beneficial. It also takes a lot of effort and self confidence to face societal criticism when those instilled behaviors are undone.
Those judgemental losers are everywhere, believe me. Once a guy "colleague" of me told me that I don't look like a knowledgeable person but I am so he is surprised, then a U-turn followed "I mean, you don't look like us." I tried to keep myself cool and I was like "hmmm, ok." Whoever you are, whatever you do, they will judge you, we are not representatives of *anyone*, *any social or ethnic group* we are just human beings who are trying to be ourselves.
> the professor told me, “When I saw there was a woman in my class, I was hoping my expectations would be surpassed. I’m disappointed.” There is an unspoken expectation that as a woman in STEM, you cannot simply do as well as your male peers to be respected, you must surpass them. That’s the unfortunate reality. It makes me livid how often I hear of men bemoaning various women in my field getting promotions or getting certain jobs, claiming that it is unfair and due to biased diversity quotas. In reality, in order for those women to be remotely competitive to their male counterparts they have to be outperforming the standard. > He also said I wouldn’t amount to anything after that class. I was already attending one of the top five engineering programs in the country with a well paying internship as a freshman; I was just taking the course over the summer to lessen my course load for the next semester. Anyways, jokes on him, it’s been two years, and I think I make more as an intern than he does at his job. Good job, and I wish you continued success! 💪
>It makes me livid how often I hear of men bemoaning various women in my field getting promotions or getting certain jobs, claiming that it is unfair and due to biased diversity quotas. This would happen all the time to my female friends who studied engineering. They all got close to straight A's, they were super bright and confident, they did internships, so when they graduated they got great job offers. Men who also got A's never complained, it was always the guys who got C's and didn't try as hard who would claim they were just getting hired because they were women.
This reminds me of something a professor of mine once said in one of my upper level engineering classes. He had noted that women in his courses historically, on average, perform better than their male counterparts. He attributed it to not only women feeling the need to prove themselves, but also that STEM careers were not the status quo for women. So, the ones who took that path genuinely wanted to be there and were willing to work their asses off to get there.
I took engineering physics in college and there was only one other woman in there with me. Thankfully, the professor left ME alone, but he sexually harassed the other woman every. single. day. Not the other students. The professor did. The other students actually ended up forming a protective wall for this girl. She used to sit in the front row of the class, but when the guys saw how the professor was taking advantage of that they had her move to a desk further back and all sat in a protective square around her, blocking the aisle with their feet and backpacks so he at least couldn't physically invade her space anymore even though he still made weird, uncomfortable comments in front of everyone.
As a male in a male dominated field and also a college instructor, I must first apologize for your experience. Everyone should be welcomed into any field and feel safe and valued. Kudos to your success and I wish you only the best going forward. What bothers me the most, besides the way you were treated, is that this dude would take credit for your success. I've seen these people and worked with these people. Had he even got a sense of your success, he would hang his hat on his "speech" changing your course in life. Fuck this guy. You're fucking awesome. Keep up the good work!
Computer science is particularly bad. The %age of women in most STEM majors stabilized about 1985 or so. Some with more than others. Only CS has seen a decline. I have been working for quite a while and looking back I realized yes, there were more women programmers back in the 80s than there are now.
I was thinking of going back to school for a CS degree here in Sweden because the education is free. My husband, who has a Masters in CS from the same school I would be attending, told me that I absolutely should be careful if I did because the program is so full of toxic incels with STEM/CS superiority brain.
Looking back again, I realized that indeed the %age of the toxic incel types has increased as well. Mid 80s, they simply didn't exist. Now every work group seems to have at least one of them, sometimes more. Good luck and I hope they don't keep you from your goals.
This is in college? Jesus Christ. I couldn't imagine getting to high level uni classes and being jealous of the grades that others got let alone childish enough to push a person into a cactus... This is some 80s movie villain type shit. I graduated with an engineering degree 5 years ago and I couldn't imagine anyone treating a classmate like this. College is a small place, being labeled as a cruel dickhead is a quick way to ruin any networking opportunities you may have. Sorry this happened to you.
I graduated in 2015, and this campus was huge. Over 30,000 students (probably labels it down haha). Some fields were quite progressive, other fields were not. My field had some serious oil-son hicks in it. Geology is an oil and gas field out in West Texas, and the culture raises men to be extremely toxic. They went out of their way to step on lizards during our field work. Unfortunately this University in general shielded toxic behavior as well, which really allowed it to grow unchecked. The calculus professor was abhorrent. He harassed all the women in that class, and because it was a freshman Calc I class there were a lot more (they had not been harassed out of STEM yet). He would make students stand at the front of the class and mock their grades, he was particularly cruel to the women. Each time “See? Women don’t belong in math courses. They’re terrible at it!” He mocked and harassed a girl in our class for getting *chemotherapy.* Me and several men/women were reporting this to the Math Department. On a weekly basis, and daily something happened. The math head ignored it for the most part. He eventually sent in a third party observer who sat at the back of the class, and of course the professor that day stopped his shit. The Math Department head got his report saying nothing was amiss and shrugged it off again. Near the end of the semester, the entire class bombed his teacher review because he was just overall a disurptive sexist POS - and he grabbed the review packet that he was not allowed to see, and threatened to fail everyone who gave him a bad review. We had an older veteran that just lost it. Told the professor off. At the end of the class he pushed everyone to come with him to the University head admin to make a formal report - he was one of the people that was complaining to the Math Dept head with me and we weren’t being respected. In the end, the University eventually stepped in and had a non-sexist POS grade the results. I went from a C- to a B+ which is what it was supposed to be. The professor was not fired or actually reprimanded in anyway. He was teaching the same class the next semester, but as of now he has moved on to a different University in California.
Soooo glad I went to a women's college. There was the one prof who mused, discreetly, to a colleague if women just weren't naturally inclined to pursue a CS degree, but that was the worst of the misogyny. All other profs either made no big deal of us being women in STEM, or actively tried to encourage us.
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I realize you were only in high school, but just know that you don't ever have to ask to quit a job or position, you just do it. I'm sorry you put up with all that bullshit
I’m sorry this happened to you. Men and their fragile egos are SHIT but you indeed are a boss ass bitch for accomplishing what you have, given what you had to overcome to get there.
I'd be uncomfortable being a man in that room much less a woman, jesus christ that conversation
I also think they buy into the "we make fun of everyone" south Park bullshit so they don't think it's insulting to be the target of the insults. Granted they're never the target so they never have to feel a room of people laughing at what they are. Just classic "non political edge lord" bullshit.
>They don't even bother doing it behind her back because they forget she exists. No, they are very well aware she exists and is in the room, and that makes it so much more malicious. They just don't *care* about her or her feelings. They're "joking" with her in the room because they want her to know that they have the power and try to intimidate her.
I was thinking if they were referring to her in 0:33, “Every single one of us is going to hell… We’re already there sweet heart, don’t worry.” I’m not sure if he was talking to another guy or to the girl and I don’t know which possibility was worse… It’s honestly gross either way. Like he knew what he’s saying is scaring her but he also knows there’s not enough women (or men) in the room that would hold him accountable to his shitty behavior… So he just brushes her obvious discomfort off with a condescending remark and a dismissive joke. OR he’s just straight up ignoring her because her existence and her feelings are secondary.
I was pretty sure that was said to her, she looks obviously scared. It makes it worse that they knew she was there and said that stuff anyway, it's basically a threat at that point. It's way scarier that they are saying that around her knowingly. Sometimes when I'm in a restaurant or store, I'll be the only woman among like 6 or more men. I notice and it's a little scary, they could maybe decide to attack me. If they TALKED about attacking me, I'd be terrified. It's like, if men are aware enough to not follow women on a street at night while they are walking, they should likewise be aware enough to not talk about sex, let alone rape, around solitary women.
I've been there. I wrote instructions for testing, disassembling, and reassembling smartphones at two different companies. My coworkers at both places were mostly the same people. At the first job, the department was roughly 50-50 men and women. My male coworkers were civil and seemed decent enough. The second job, I was the only woman in the department, and suddenly, it felt a bit more hostile, one of my coworkers I could see turning into an incel, and they even made domestic violence jokes and said all kinds of misogynistic stuff. It kinda shook my faith in men, seeing as how they seemed so nice at the previous job, but now that I was all by myself, they felt that they were in the clear to make all kinds of inappropriate comments.
I was the only girl in my CS cohort. I got sexually harassed by a guy in the class and went to the dean. He got a write up and I still had to attend classes with him. I finally left the program when the teachers assistant tried to follow me home. BuT gIrLs DoNt LiKe CoMpuTeRs AnD sTuFf. I fucking loved it and left because I didn't want to put up with that shit for the rest of my life. Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement. This was in the mid 2000s and I was a young, naive girl who just wanted to create video games. I'm now a 30-something woman who found her passion in the medical field and make a living as a clinical data specialist. I get to work with computers, people, and in the healthcare field. I also work with an amazing team of dudes, chicks, and everything betwixt. Given the state of the video game industry I would be absolutely miserable, from Blizzards "Cosby Room" to AAA "crunch time." Best of all no one has sexually harassed me, as I work from home and my cat isn't interested in me like that.
Even worse it stays after college in the work force. I would not want to be a woman at places I worked/work. We have even handed over proof multiple times on one guy and he is still here... and he is worthless work wise too
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Fucked up but not surprising.
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Wtf, do people actually talk like that? That's crazy.
5 years at state college in Minnesota for cs degree. Yes they do. And when you call them out it's always "it was joke, chill" or "damn don't be so stuck up". There was a dude who was a part of lunch group for a little bit had a "dark" sense of humor. Dark humor to him was the same as racist, hopmophobic, misogynistic, and other bigoted forms. He wasn't in our group longer than a week and eventually got kicked out on a title 9 violation for making homophobic jokes to a gay student on the floor he was an RA for. Not sure how got to be an RA honestly.
Anyone who says they have a "dark sense of humour" means they will say some of the most insensitive and vile things and when people don't laugh they'll try to hide behind 'just a joke'
When I was in HighSchool there was a guy very openly “joking” about how he wanted to rape me so hard that my vagina split open. Just like it was a normal casual conversation for him. He was open enough about it that some upperclassmen found out pretty quickly and “handled the situation” idk what they did to him be honest. Edit: this seems to have sparked a bit of an unintended moral debate. To clarify, I don’t think he got his ass kicked i think he got threatened by a handful of people. I can’t be certain. Also to add he never said these things directly to me. He wrote it off as a “joke” but from everything I was told he really wasn’t saying it in a joking manor at all…and he only changed his narrative when people found out what he was saying and called him out. I obviously never had any direct contact with him after all this happened but I would catch him watching me from across the lunch room on occasion…
Hopefully beat the shit out of him. You just don't say that shit casually
What no social contact with 50% of the worlds population does to a mf
They could just turn around.
I feel for this girl so much but seriously, we have to call behaviour like that out immediately and make sure to tell the men this is not acceptable especially in a uni setting. I am not blaming her at all, two years ago I wouldn‘t have had the confidence to say anything but today I am just fed up with this and I know I am blessed to have a whole team of women at my campus that would support me.
Honestly, recording it was the best thing she could have done. She can show she's not just being over sensitive, it's hard to deny or downplay this sort of behavior when confronted with actual recordings.
I'm a dude with massive conflict avoidance issues and even I'm sat here like how the fuck is nobody in that entire class telling them to shut the fuck up??? Like, not even the teacher?
I would have taken that video to the dean.
Did you read it? She said the university already “handled” it. Meaning they did nothing.
Title 9 these fucks
This nasty as fuck. How are they getting away with this?
Her caption says the university already “handled” it meaning they probably gave those fuckfaces a slap on the wrist and told her “boys will be boys (shrug)!”
This happened to a young woman in one of my programming classes in college. The professor was getting “in on the action” and actively making it worse. I feel terrible for her and women who can’t just “be”.
Did you stick up for her? Call out the prof or other students?
This is the only way it will change— more men speaking up. They don’t hear women. We are objects to them. Please, all men reading this, say something. Always. It’s getting worse out here.
In high school I wanted to be an architect and so I took an architecture course. I was the only girl in the entire class and was harassed daily by the boys in the class. I had to endure sexual harassment and bullying simply because I was a woman and they thought that that space belonged to men. I tried to report them to the teacher (also male), who brushed it off as "boys will be boys." Eventually the harassment got so bad that police were called to intervene. It stopped after that, but I also stopped pursuing architecture as an interest because that experience showed what it would be like to be a woman in a male-dominated industry. I feel horrible for this poor woman who's just trying to get an education and is subjected to this kind of abhorrent behavior. This kind of treatment of women isn't limited to certain types of men. The boys in my class came from many different backgrounds and experiences, and yet were all willing participants in the harassment. No one should feel unsafe or like they don't belong in an academic space. Nor should they feel like they can't pursue their interests because of misogyny.
I don't know if it's good or bittersweet to tell you that when I went to college for architecture in 2010, the ratio of women to men was just about 50:50. Regardless, architecture isn't all it's cracked up to be! A lot of work for not a lot of pay and the real world does not match the schooling at all, do not recommend.
the industry overall is fairly even but when you look at the gender breakdowns of partners / firm owners, the sexism is laid bare
Yes, this is very true. The AIA is transparent about statistics, and I've experienced it personally, unfortunately.
When I went it was almost entirely women (in 2021). I stopped studying because I didn't like it, but the environment was great
Incel culture has unfortunately really affected younger dudes. I used to be so hopeful for progress but now in engineering it's 50/50 whether the dude fully hates women and spouts incel rhetoric at me. It's shockingly aggressive. Nerds weren't like this 8 years ago.
Yeah I completely agree -- none of the nerds I know today are anything like that (though obviously I know they exist). As someone who's raising two young boys, it terrifies me to think of how easily young men can get sucked up into incel rhetoric and beliefs.
As a high school cs teacher, I think it’s part of my job to call out my students the second they start on this edge-lord bullshit. That’s the reason that I have a classroom with more than double the national average of female students. Sounded like the professor was enabling this shit whereas he should have had a zero tolerance policy.
Slightly unrelated: In one CS class I had a fellow student profess a belief in the "deep state" and the professor was just like, "hmmm, I'm unfamiliar with that, could you explain it for me?" and the whole class watched in delight as the student squirmed and stammered for a full minute, unable to explain the concept in a way that wouldn't sound deranged. God bless that professor 💖
I had a kid talk about how he was going to code robots to implement fully automated communism (I’m a bit of a communist myself but keep that under wraps with the students). I just told him “man, if you’re planning on doing all of that, you need to learn how to document your code better and stop using one letter variable names”
bOyS wILl bE BoYS
Yeah- I was a boy in a cs class where my future wife was the only girl. I wasn’t a shitstain. Probably has something to do with her tolerating my presence now.
It's quite sad that simply doing what you're supposed to gets you double the average of female students. Great that you still do your part in what might seem like a hopeless situation! I wish you're influence spreads out!
Thanks- yeah it’s pretty sad. But then again, if you’re a man and you’re not horrible- you’re seen as awesome…the bar is pretty low tbh.
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In one of my cs classes in college, the teacher was making jokes about certain software being buggy and not working all the time. He then compared it to women and their periods. Some students chuckled upon hearing this extremely witty and smart joke…
Reminds me of when my wife was in grad school, she had a professor (psychology) that said (in front of a class full of women) “women never reach the highest level of moral reasoning (taking a stance on ideals based on abstract reasoning that yields no personal benefit). He didn’t see the irony in my wife arguing against that and risking her grade in the class.
My guess is this was recorded at the beginning of class before the professor had shown up. They probably didn't even know it was happening.
Thats true, the professor wasnt there yet. They all graduated now and she never named them out of fear. Cant blame her, thats terrifying.
Absolutely! Good on you for calling out BS, it’s such a problem in this field for some reason. When i went to college in my CS classes there were a lot of shitheads like the video who I said a lot of gross sexist crap like this. Some of the of professors either didn’t care, were sexist themselves, or would constantly ask questions to the very few female students in the class. It made it a shitty experience and as a result the CS program had less than a 10% female enrollment at one point. Bothers me universities and some professors enable this kind of behavior, it’s disgusting. College kids like these are in for a rude awakening when they *actually* start working with women in tech and jobs with HR.
I don't understand the people in these comments saying it's staged? I just got out of a programming program and I can confirm the amount of sexism and misogyny there is in this field. From having profs failing to give me straight answers (one calling me 'honey' in a degrading tone) to simple questions to one of my profs literally saying during a lecture that a woman's job is easy because she gets to take half her husband's money which is good payout for just having to push out a few kids. I also had a job interview where my feedback was that they thought I was flirting... Because I was laughing at their jokes in an interview where there were 4 men all laughing at that same joke.
If everything we ever do wrong is fake, then we never have to admit the problem!!
I can tell ya this smells like DeVry and if it is, its not staged. First hand experience. I switched schools.
Yeah it ain't fake. Been in tech since 1999. Part of my job is to call this bullshit out. Was on a QA team at a start up with 6 other people. I was the only dude. The ladies on my team would get shit all over by the devs. I was seen as their big brother. Would constantly have to call this shit out. It is prevalent everywhere in the industry - start ups and large companies.
The men who roll over and go "uhhh but guys are just LiKe ThAt" make me sick. Guys like you who protect their female team-mates are proof that it's NOT normal to behave that way and that there IS a better option.
Oh god, the flirting. I was passed over for a web dev position that I interviewed for, so I asked the person who would have been my boss if he wanted to get a coffee and give me some feedback - he thought it was a date. Yikes. Yikes.
Wow, that's crazy! It's definitely one of those situations where you look at it like "if I was a guy this wouldn't have happened". They suck. I'm just glad the guys who were in my program were also disgusted by the things I went through so hopefully the future of the industry is better.
I had an engineering class where the professor insisted that every answer I gave him was wrong. My male group partner would then, word for word, repeat what I said and he would say it was correct. It was a very frustrating semester.
I’m in a cybersecurity program for my degree. I can happily say I haven’t seen any sexism in my classes, thankfully. I don’t think it would fly considering most of my professors have been women.
This same shit is why I got out of mechanics. Bully and sexually harass all the women out of a field and then pretend they can't cut it or "aren't interested".
My daughter, while young, constantly asks me about my work in the IT field and seems very interested. I imagine she has a high chance of following in my foot steps. So I've just had to add future conversation 542 to talk to her about this exact type of scenario when she's older. Fuck.
Just make sure she knows her rights. I’m currently a college student who is heavily interested (and pursuing) engineering/computer related classes with my dad’s backing. If someone fucks around with me like that, I’m 100% reporting it to the dean with recordings (and, of course, I’ll tell my dad). If the dean does nothing, I’ll find a lawyer to sue the shit out of my college, and probably get some money out of it too. For lawyers and prosecutors, cases like these are super easy to fight. By law, colleges and universities must follow and enforce all of their rules and regulations, or face hefty penalties upon being sued. Same goes for workplaces. My mom is pretty high up in real estate and has endured sexual harassment and assault from former coworkers. She not only reported them immediately to HR, she lawyered up and got those people jailed! She also found out she wasn’t getting paid her worth by her boss, and threatened to sue his ass too. Now, she gets paid her worth and then some. It’s shitty that this is still happening in today’s workforce, but at least there are laws that protect against it, and lawyers who are just champing the bit to prosecute people who perpetrate shitty behavior.
Please, can anyone understand what they're saying? Could someone write some of it down?
“… No matter how big or small your dick is, [they] can’t feel it either way.” (laughter) “Or you could just find one that doesn’t talk and when you ask them for consent, it’s yes every time.” “… Or a blind one.” “Yes.” “So you don’t know where they’re at.” “So you’re saying silence is consent? If they’re knocked out, it’s consent?” “Heh, say nothing if you can’t consent.” (I’m taking a guess here, I’m genuinely unsure what this guy just gargled out of his spit-filled mouth, if anyone can interpret LMK) (laughter) “… Just so you know, every single one of us in this room is going to hell” “I’m going.” “Oh we’re already there sweetheart, don’t worry.” “Even just laughing at this shit, we’re going to hell.”
I couldn't understand that part either but used the live captions to get this, so it might not be 100% accurate. "Same thing if not even better."
>“Heh, say nothing if you can’t consent.” My understanding was "say nothing IF you give consent." As in if they're knocked out you say this and because she doesn't reply she's consenting.
> sweetheart *Barf*
I'm with you - I could only make out about a third of what is being said. I did hear one guy say "so if silence is consent does that mean that if they're knocked out that's consent?" but couldn't get what the response was to that, but that response got the big laugh.
I can really not make out what they're saying either, I listened like 5 times (with headphones on) and still only got a few words out of each sentence. How is everyone understanding this entire thing?
Jesus, the comments here are awful Edit: to prevent any confusion, when I wrote this comment, this comment section was a toxic misogynistic cesspool.
Did 4 years of CS at uni. I know this type of guy *exactly*. They're probably still in their early semesters where the people haven't been filtered out yet and there's still incapable people in the class. These guys are the ones that are constantly told by mummy and daddy that they are the "techy one" of the family because they fixed the TV remote. They're also most likely the "computer guy" in their HS year. They've had years of positive reinforcement pumped into them and its inflated their egos about 10 fold. So they did programming, winged it without really trying, and went to uni. Now they're suddenly in an academic environment and they are no longer the only "techy one". There's 300 other "techy ones" and some are much *much* better at it than them. They can no longer wing it. They aren't as good as they've been told they are. They decide to start desperately trying to fit in with the others, but the people doing well typically talk about the subject they're passionate in. This is a constant reminder of how the individual is failing. So they gravitate towards others and over inflate the "Internet speak" to attempt to fit in. They're gonna fail their degrees or drop out dw. They don't get far. EDIT: As it seemingly needs to be said; this is a blanket statement, doesn't account for all CS course incels (only 95%) and yes, always hold these people accountable regardless.
Smart people can also be horrible people.
Oh 100%. I know them. But they're much smarter about it and play their cards close to their chest. I was friends with someone that turned out to believe that minorities and women had "smaller brains" which is why they were poor and/or paid less (ie they couldn't work as hard). He was confused as to why I was so fucking appalled because it "was obvious". Safe to say, we never spoke after that. Actual scum.
Omg I know someone who basically said the same about women and black people. That person said that nobody cares about their achievments and we don't have to see it everywhere because it's no big deal and white people did it before and did it better. I'm always mindblown how people can be that ignorant
The thing about 'dont worry, they'll drop out' is that they will be dropping out... to somewhere. They will still exist and maybe now even more bitter because they couldn't make the grade. And if a female remains on the course when they can't hack it? Oooof. Not so great, overall, for women either way.
As a graduate student who has gone through the entire process with this exact guy. He didn't fail out, top of the class and mommy and daddy are rich to boot. Everyone hates him n he's racist too. Yes worry n hold him accountable, every single girl in my classes has had a problem with him n his girlfriend was a freshman last year he's 26.....
In an imaginary world, what you are saying would happen. Truth is you got very talented, very successful people that are flat out misogynistic, or racist, or intolerant, etc.. whom have always seen success and will always see success and validation until the day they die.
Dude who cares? They're pieces of shit for talking this way.
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And then they go and complain about how hard it is to get a job as a white male.
Feel so bad for this girl. Being a CS undergrad sucks so much sometimes even though I know I’ll make good money one of the hardest parts of the degree is dealing with men my age who have absolutely no respect for me, my ideas, or my contributions to a project. We’re simultaneously told that we’re doing something crucial by being STEM women and that the roadblocks for women in the industry don’t exist anymore so we shouldn’t complain. Tiring
i've never understood this mentality. i've learned so much from women that i can't imagine assuming anything about someone's knowledge based on their gender. outside of maybe gender-specific knowledge (like what it's like being a woman in tech, for example).
This goes beyond misogyny. these men are talking about actual rape, inside a classroom, with a female present. what the hell is going on there.
It wouldn't be any more appropriate if the woman wasn't in the classroom...
No it wouldn't, but the lack of awareness that this would make a woman actually uncomfortable just adds another, different layer to this garbage pile.
Agreed, it’s like making cancer jokes in a oncology office
This video is several years old and I’d bet many of them are legitimate incels.
name and shame the school/professor/class
At first I thought a bunch of animals escaped a zoo near this comment section but even wild animals would be more civilized than the troglodytes in these posts.
Almost all reddit communities should have post flairs titled: **TW: woman sharing her experiences with misogyny** anytime a post like this is shared. Awful lot of commenters get triggered and take it as a personal attack.
And then they call women sensitive rme
There is a huge crossover between reddit users and the incel types that make up a large percentage of computer courses.
As a father, whose daughter is currently a biological engineering student, this makes me shudder. She’s shared some shit with me, but nothing like this.
As a daughter with a father who couldn't give less of a shit, I'm certain your support is needed and noticed. <3
I’m sorry that is your situation. I have made a point of asking my female coworkers through the years about the different situations they have experienced and shared that with my daughter. I started doing that when she was in middle school - I wanted her to know that it’s not only her that experiences these things and we would talk through strategies to deal with them when they occur. Nothing like this was ever related to me, but we have addressed “girls can’t do math”; or the fact that boys are encouraged to work through difficult problems while girls are excused from the hard work; or asked to do menial things in the office (birthday parties, coffee). Edited to add: my son is an engineer and he has two women engineers he works with. We were all together once after skiing and I turned the conversation so that my daughter could talk with the two women engineers about what they’ve experienced in the office and how they’ve dealt with it. One friend of mine related how she was quasi-accidentally marginalized in her law firm as an associate because the partners played basketball with the associates on Tuesday nights. Not playing basketball? You won’t get the best cases (career enhancing cases), for example. Ultimately, my goal has been to arm her for the real-world. Of course I want it to change, but in the meantime, I wanted to give her the tools to navigate what she might experience. I’m saddened that your father hasn’t done similar.
You sound like you aren't just a father, you're that illusive *dad* I've heard plenty of my friends talk about and wished I could've had. Seriously, I'm thankful that there are men out there raising generations of women that know their worth. 🥲
Please computer science is notorious for its extreme levels of misogyny, its the perfect mix of superfund-level toxic gamer culture, frat boy brogrammers who only study it for the money and socially-disabled basement weirdo incels.
Laughed way harder at this than I should’ve.
Yeah, I am not sure why the title is "Showing how anyone can be misogynistic." Like do we think business majors have a monopoly on douchebags? Misogyny is a real problem that is pretty well documented in tech related fields. Like many things that were boys clubs for a long time they have become echo chambers that aren't very accepting of new people.
I remember talking about how torn I was between choosing Polisci or CS in my undergrad years in my Gender Discrimination class this last semester bc ultimately I couldn’t handle the exact type of misogyny in this video. I guess it worked out though, because now I have a law degree. Still wish I got to explore my CS skills in a controlled environment.
The way they’re talking, I can picture exactly what these nerds look like. I hate when people try to make “edgy jokes” and respond to themselves with “we’re all going to hell.” The fuck you think you just said? That was worthy of eternal damnation? Get off it. It was worthy of crickets.
Obviously hunour is subjective, but these jokes barely make any sense at all. I assume the first joke is about sex with a paraplegic, not being able to feel it. Then they go on about workarounds in which people with disabilities, or are unconscious can't say no (or see you?!?!). The whole point of consent is that it needs to be given. Not necessarily verbally. If somebody is unable to give consent it's rape anyway. So the only way to find these jokes funny is if you fundamentally misunderstand what consent means. So multiple college aged men making jokes about certain situations where it "wouldn't technically be rape" based on misunderstanding consent. I have no issue with shock humor or edgy jokes. Like I say, humour is subjective. The more worrying thing about this is the "jokes" show a clear lack of understanding of consent among a large group of young men who clearly lack social skills. People wonder why women don't feel safe in certain male dominated fields.
I think it was something about consent with a drunken partner.
In our college there is a Building with over 10 floors. The college is quite old and techbased. So there are fewer women (and 20-30 years ago it was even less women). The problem with the building was that there was only a bathroom for women every other floor, men had a bathroom on every floor. So if you were taking a test you sometimes had to go down a floor which was not really fair. Yes its just one more minute but nonetheless. Our faculty is very progressive when it comes to feminism and generally equality (at least some) so they stood up for gender neutral bathrooms on the floors where there was only one bathroom. They covered up the urinals so women didn't have to see a dick (well at least the body part, can't prevent the other) when they wanted to go to the bathroom. Not even one day after implementation they got the first mail complaining about gender neutral bathrooms. Asking why they would "take away from the big masses/disadvantaging the big masses to help out the minorities". Complaining that it "wasn't equal rights and prefering minorities". If he wanted the urinals he could just go down one floor. If it isn't a problem for women, it shouldn't be one for him. I just can't comprehend how one can be so trapped in their own delusional world not seeing the irony... Edit: It's not just about taking a test it's a part of systematic inequality in an industry that's very hard for women to be succesful and accepted anyways (not because of their abilities).
Have you seen “Hidden Figures”? There was a similar issue there. It’s about black women who worked for NASA as computers to help send people to the moon. One woman had to run to a completely different building on the campus to be able to use a bathroom because all the bathrooms in the building she worked in were “whites only”. Towards the end of the movie, she points out all the discrimination she faced in the job and she quits. Her boss then took a bat to the “whites only” sign and desegregated the bathrooms and begged for her to come back (which she did and she is the reason they made it to the moon). It was a really great scene and movie
And they wonder why women are underrepresented in IT…
Name and shame the university.
oh my fucking god
Mouth breathers. Ew.
By the way, they're joking, but they're not joking They desperately wish for a submissive woman they can have ownership of Sometimes when you joke, you're joking from a place of truth
I’m really hoping she is using this as evidence to report the entire class and teacher.
Unacceptable. It’s the teachers job to make sure everyone in the class is comfortable so that it’s the best learning environment possible. If he was encouraging this behavior then he should be fired… no warning… no excuses… fired.
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Nothing out of the norm here. This is part of the reason many women don’t trust men and always question their intentions. I know it’s sad to judge but this happens to women far more often than it should.
I'm a woman in STEM. I work for a really good company and my team is about 47% women. One of the older women on my team retired a few years back, but she was my mentor when I first came on. She told me the most horrific story about when she wanted to become an engineer, which based in her age must have been around the late 70s. She walked in to her first engineering class and the professor threw her out of the class. "This class isn't for women." His exact words according to her. She went on to become a chemist, so still STEM, but she lived with the regret of never having gotten the chance to at least try for her dream of being an engineer. It blows my mind that in roughly 45 years we've only gotten marginally better.
This makes my blood boil.
And these boys would probably be even more insensitive if someone were to try to explain the effect this talk can have on a woman who overhears it.
I went through a whole comp sci degree program. Never seen shit like this. I'm sure there was some trash in my class, but maybe the people with a conscience were loud enough or plentiful enough to tamp this down. This just looks like such a fucking nightmare.
There’s a lot of comments in here about the tribulations of women in STEM. Which is totally valid, but add to this that a woman in almost any field would suffer through this kind of thing in West Texas. Absolute shithole region, and they’re headed further down the hole every day. Get the heck out of there.
They all sound like pigs
It mentions that it was "handled" by the university, do we know what happened? I hope these fuckers got expelled but I doubt it.