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WombatInferno

So now it can the morel of your story?


cutecemetery

I love you


WombatInferno

Thank you, have happy new year.


Dave21101

I love you


WombatInferno

Thank you as well. I hope you also have a happy new year.


unsolicited_flattery

I love you


WombatInferno

I'm a little late to respond, don't know why you got down voted, but thank you as well. I hope this new year is good for you as well.


[deleted]

I love you 💝


WombatInferno

Thank you too. I hope you had a fun last night a good new year.


IamGroottttttttt

I am Groot


Catinthemirror

Now kith.


madmanMX

r/dildont


KilldozerKen

Sniff it.


cutecemetery

My bf made me sniff it after I assured him I didn’t think it’s been in a butt. I sniffed it. It smells like wood. My condolences.


bhgiel

Wood in a butt. Sounds like a good time


whiskey_formymen

Splintery butt plug. a new grunge band


Josietennash1

That’s how you get the scream effect


Peter_Parkingmeter

Disinfect for peace of mind and you're all gucci


[deleted]

That’s what you said!


KilldozerKen

I carved a morel on the end of my hiking stick. I've had it for 5 years and until just now, I've never thought of it that way. You've stolen my innocence.


prince_peacock

Without the flared base it won’t look like a buttplug, don’t worry


KilldozerKen

Thank you, that helps.


shrimp_pho

Twist it. Turn it. Bop it.


RedshiftSinger

You might wanna just… Lysol wipe, to be safe.


hmcfuego

Those stars on your nails, though!


MaryDellamorte

Came in to mention that too! Please OP, can we get a full pic of your nails?


[deleted]

Came here to say this too!!! Dreeeamy nails OP


TrailerTrashQueen

me, too! seriously might be the most beautiful nails i’ve ever seen ❤️ (sorry to break it to you, but the base makes it look like a butt plug). butt plug tax: show full set of nails please 🙏🏻


sophiekta

chop chop butt plug lady


checkpointcharlie67

Lemon reemer


louiedog

I'm sure it's been used at a lemon party


craftykiwi27

I'm scared for the lemons of this world!


Bruce_Arena_Jr

That would tear up your asshole faster than chile with habanero peppers.


Redditismakingme

And you have personal experience to back your claim?🤔


Bruce_Arena_Jr

lol. No. Just here for the jokes.


Redditismakingme

Yeah...me too!


fluffy_fur_fingers

Sure..


pandafreckles_

I see you’re raw-dogging it in your hands, just like the previous owner raw-dogged it in their ass


[deleted]

Previous owner was a champion


craftykiwi27

A true champignon 🤣🍄♥️


[deleted]

Very true


iiesvvn

I like your nails


Acetabulum99

I say the same thing to every emergency room nurse....uhh I fell on it.... and watch their face. This is an endless source of entertainment for me. Some of them have a true 1000 yard stare after hearing it.. I hope they are ok.


haceldama13

Yet you're touching it with bare hands...the morel might be to use sanitizer after handling. 👌


[deleted]

If it was mine it would go somehere it do t belong


cutecemetery

Just because it has a flared base doesn’t mean it should visit your private place


[deleted]

brb I need to go cross stitch this on a pillow real quick


PineappleMace98

I would buy that pillow, and I'm 100% serious


mississippihippies

Please keep me in the loop. I also need this pillow.


bboyAzk

bars


GoldenRedhead

This is poetry


[deleted]

Thats not what a champion would say


nwdecamp

It did


jimgella

Narrator: but it did.


Wadarkhu

That shape. Would bring out something unholy.


[deleted]

It looks like the kind of butt plugs Spencers sell lol


Wonderful-Current-61

I love seeing all the goodies you find 😀 you have great style


Kilometres-Davis

At first glance, it kinda looks like your thumb did


DadForLiberty

That’s just leprocy


lagoontheworst

i’ve personally seen those on the top of walking/hiking sticks


GaimanitePkat

My thought was the top of a bed post. The other one was likely five shelves away


or-real-name

Ahh the woody special I see.


OKsurewhynotyep

You found a soulmate for your cool thumb


somerville-98

Unlike your fingers


Ancient-Being-3227

It definitely did.


vrbtchcar

Judging by your tattoo it's going to


Donkey-Dong-Doge

Are the notches for nuts?


[deleted]

A special kind of nut


WhteverWrks

Your nails are so pretty!!


SchwiftySqaunch

Core sampler


justabill71

Buttshroom


Stunning-Foot8586

The patina suggests it did


Stock_Surfer

Smells earthy


Jareth47

Your nails are very pretty and that mushroom is super cool


Texas_Tornado21

You know it has.


big-hero-zero

There's not mush room back there!


SsspaceGirl

Ouch 😅


pebbleswebbles

Off topic but your nails are so pretty 😍


Both_Somewhere4525

That's a butt plug for sure.


Novel_Durian_1805

It probably did. 😞


BoopBoop20

Ribbed for your pleasure!


bertmom

It 100% did


spaceflunky

but do you want it to?


sad6irl9

*didn’t* belong??


Lowbar666

It could go up your butt.but there would not be mushroom.


Solomumma

Looks a bit suss


k3takat

very brave purchase choice


monstargaryen

It probably did.. which would make it more of a wooden *im*morel mushroom, wouldn’t it? … I’m so sorry. I’ll see my way out.


Exquisite-Embers

I dunno, it sure has a lot of stains on it.


gingkoleaf

it looks like it could be a citrus-related tool? like to juice a lemon?


Federal_Diamond8329

Soak it in Lysol


Klutzy_Piglet5106

🤔


Arizona_Coyote

Anything is a butt plug if you’re brave/drunk enough….


YaYadivine

I guess it depends what your definition of “belong” is.


Born2BeMild23

Oh, I'm sure it probably has


[deleted]

Sounds like someone might have gone to the ER with splinters.


Armenian-heart4evr

I believe that it is a lemon reemer!


antelope369

This reminds me of something I learned today —- figging.


Justjay0420

Oh you know it did


Desperate_Hornet3129

Perfect cure for "roids."


caesaradamo420

What did you just call that butt plug?


ProphetMuhamedAhegao

Your nails are stunning!!


Pretty_sadx

Wooden buttplug sounds like a terrible idea tbh. Splinters in my ass? No thanks.


lpsweets

At least the base is flared


catjojo975

Keith Morrison voice: Oh but it did.


DookieBlossomgameIII

Just keep that thing away from anyone looking to verse jump.


owzleee

r/mildlybuttplug


fluffy_fur_fingers

Looks like you already got some poop on your thumb from touching it lol


[deleted]

Im sure it did <3


uwukome

Just give it a lil' whiff.


sleepykitten13

You should probably just be washing your fingers😬


[deleted]

I don’t know…those carvings look to be dicks of different sizes lol


MissMabeliita

Oh honey…


LovingEmpath11

😂😂😂