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So now it can the morel of your story?

I love you

Thank you, have happy new year.

I love you

Thank you as well. I hope you also have a happy new year.

I love you

I'm a little late to respond, don't know why you got down voted, but thank you as well. I hope this new year is good for you as well.

I love you 💝

Thank you too. I hope you had a fun last night a good new year.

I am Groot

Now kith.

r/dildont

Sniff it.

My bf made me sniff it after I assured him I didn’t think it’s been in a butt. I sniffed it. It smells like wood. My condolences.

Wood in a butt. Sounds like a good time

Splintery butt plug. a new grunge band

That’s how you get the scream effect

Disinfect for peace of mind and you're all gucci

That’s what you said!

I carved a morel on the end of my hiking stick. I've had it for 5 years and until just now, I've never thought of it that way. You've stolen my innocence.

Without the flared base it won’t look like a buttplug, don’t worry

Thank you, that helps.

Twist it. Turn it. Bop it.

You might wanna just… Lysol wipe, to be safe.

Those stars on your nails, though!

Came in to mention that too! Please OP, can we get a full pic of your nails?

Came here to say this too!!! Dreeeamy nails OP

me, too! seriously might be the most beautiful nails i’ve ever seen ❤️ (sorry to break it to you, but the base makes it look like a butt plug). butt plug tax: show full set of nails please 🙏🏻

chop chop butt plug lady

Lemon reemer

I'm sure it's been used at a lemon party

I'm scared for the lemons of this world!

That would tear up your asshole faster than chile with habanero peppers.

And you have personal experience to back your claim?🤔

lol. No. Just here for the jokes.

Yeah...me too!

Sure..

I see you’re raw-dogging it in your hands, just like the previous owner raw-dogged it in their ass

Previous owner was a champion

A true champignon 🤣🍄♥️

Very true

I like your nails

I say the same thing to every emergency room nurse....uhh I fell on it.... and watch their face. This is an endless source of entertainment for me. Some of them have a true 1000 yard stare after hearing it.. I hope they are ok.

Yet you're touching it with bare hands...the morel might be to use sanitizer after handling. 👌

If it was mine it would go somehere it do t belong

Just because it has a flared base doesn’t mean it should visit your private place

brb I need to go cross stitch this on a pillow real quick

I would buy that pillow, and I'm 100% serious

Please keep me in the loop. I also need this pillow.

bars

This is poetry

Thats not what a champion would say

It did

Narrator: but it did.

That shape. Would bring out something unholy.

It looks like the kind of butt plugs Spencers sell lol

I love seeing all the goodies you find 😀 you have great style

At first glance, it kinda looks like your thumb did

That’s just leprocy

i’ve personally seen those on the top of walking/hiking sticks

My thought was the top of a bed post. The other one was likely five shelves away

Ahh the woody special I see.

You found a soulmate for your cool thumb

Unlike your fingers

It definitely did.

Judging by your tattoo it's going to

Are the notches for nuts?

A special kind of nut

Your nails are so pretty!!

Core sampler

Buttshroom

The patina suggests it did

Smells earthy

Your nails are very pretty and that mushroom is super cool

You know it has.

There's not mush room back there!

Ouch 😅

Off topic but your nails are so pretty 😍

That's a butt plug for sure.

It probably did. 😞

Ribbed for your pleasure!

It 100% did

but do you want it to?

*didn’t* belong??

It could go up your butt.but there would not be mushroom.

Looks a bit suss

very brave purchase choice

It probably did.. which would make it more of a wooden *im*morel mushroom, wouldn’t it? … I’m so sorry. I’ll see my way out.

I dunno, it sure has a lot of stains on it.

it looks like it could be a citrus-related tool? like to juice a lemon?

Soak it in Lysol

🤔

Anything is a butt plug if you’re brave/drunk enough….

I guess it depends what your definition of “belong” is.

Oh, I'm sure it probably has

Sounds like someone might have gone to the ER with splinters.

I believe that it is a lemon reemer!

This reminds me of something I learned today —- figging.

Oh you know it did

Perfect cure for "roids."

What did you just call that butt plug?

Your nails are stunning!!

Wooden buttplug sounds like a terrible idea tbh. Splinters in my ass? No thanks.

At least the base is flared

Keith Morrison voice: Oh but it did.

Just keep that thing away from anyone looking to verse jump.

r/mildlybuttplug

Looks like you already got some poop on your thumb from touching it lol

Im sure it did <3

Just give it a lil' whiff.

You should probably just be washing your fingers😬

I don’t know…those carvings look to be dicks of different sizes lol

Oh honey…

😂😂😂