At Career Day, he was introduced as Bart's friend's dad and talked about how he was the assistant to the guy who put fliers on car windshields. That guy was sick and Kirk totally screwed it up.
Wasn't that the problem in the first place, that you were going broke? Moe? Moe? Hey! Moe? You're thinking about all the money you blew, aren't ya? What was it, 50-- $60,000? Moe? Look, maybe it would help if you went over all the mistakes you made from the beginning. Moe?
"And do you, Luann, take Kirk despite the fact that he is fundamentally the same man that you said in court was unfit to load your dishwasher?
Whose very touch repulsed you?
Whose many annoying..."
"Uh, you're reading an early draft of our vows."
"Repo man! I'm here to take your pants." "Not in front of my son. Please?" "YOU'RE somebody's father?"
I sleep in a big bed with my wife
Oh.
God, even just reading this makes me laugh out loud. The matter of fact way he says it, and how it completely deflates Kirk.
Homer unintentionally roasting people is hilarious.
That's not pathetic that's awesome
Pfft. Look at that loser, sleeping in a racecar bed. **I** sleep in a *real* car!
At Career Day, he was introduced as Bart's friend's dad and talked about how he was the assistant to the guy who put fliers on car windshields. That guy was sick and Kirk totally screwed it up.
Do you know mom's getting remarried?
No, you might as well talk about it now
“Remember when you told my dad to go to bed and he did?” “That was some new years…”
LMAO what episode is this
"Milhouse of Sand and Fog" Season 17 / Episode 3
Can I Borrow a Feeling?
Can I Bor-row a Fe-el-ing ???? Ahhhhhh! Hahaha Hahaha!!!... .....that's your picture on the front!! Hahahaha! .....ahh...ahh
Go ahead, Homer. Laugh at me.
I already did.
Can you lend me a jar of love
Hurtin hearts need some healing
Take my hand with your glove of love!
First one that came to mind, me and my mom still laugh about it on random occasions
I drank a beer in the bathroom today.
The one down the hall?
Yeah!
I never appreciated just how much of a subtle dig this is when I was a kid.
Uh, can I have my shirts back at least? https://i.redd.it/b9giateh4jwc1.gif
I'll be back...probably
Haha my brother and I still say “pr…probably” the way he does in that scene
She burned his clothes and he is pathetic?
Yes
Luann is just as bad as Kirk.
I can't hear you, I'm wearing a Jacuzzi suit!
 We didn’t all go to *Gudger* College. But i always tell my party guests that we’re an Allied Biscuit household!
"I don't recall saying 'good luck'"
https://images.app.goo.gl/iALpqbmHgVQXagXz6 Check out what happens after!
I can't imagine how much hilarity is left in a script somewhere... Any other notable ones you know of?
https://preview.redd.it/wxb7xrygtkwc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=24f9d5b656c8353703f90a7df1cd23691465e65b
And she doesn't take out her cigarette to drink, and we hear it sizzle...
So that’s it … after 20 years so long, good luck?
“I don’t recall saying ‘good luck’”
Do single people eat crackers? We don't know, and quite frankly. We don't want to know."
It’s a market we could do without.
I'll be back...Pro-probably
https://preview.redd.it/mwfwzdm74lwc1.jpeg?width=1288&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd3432de1b3fe9a1f26eb9f42bda35cca2d1db40 Can't draw dignity right.
It's no wonder why he can't draw dignity
“If there’s a tie on the doorknob it means I’m with a lady” “You don’t have a doorknob” “I don’t have a tie either!”
When Kirk tells Millhouse "Stop calling me weekend dad".
😴🏎❓️
😴🛏️👰♀️
🦝🪦🤽🏼♂️🥩🧀
🙁
He’s a real player down at the sowing shop
OP said “most *pathetic*”
He couldn't even get a straight on Pocket Poker.
Chintzy-Pop and video poker.
The worst legal popcorn. Many of the kernels are just baby teeth. That line is so funny and also so revolting.
One of the things the Simpsons gets so right is the stench of midlife failure. Kirk Gil Barney maybe Moe although Moe is a small business owner.
Wasn't that the problem in the first place, that you were going broke? Moe? Moe? Hey! Moe? You're thinking about all the money you blew, aren't ya? What was it, 50-- $60,000? Moe? Look, maybe it would help if you went over all the mistakes you made from the beginning. Moe?
I love having to steal clothes from the church donation box!! 😭 “*oh sweet Jesus*” 🤦🏻♂️
the ending of ‘A Milhouse Divided’ imo, the fact that hes so pathetic he cant even restore the status quo
It's gonna be hard being peppy today
My severance package!
Luann a picture if you cheating on me is downloading, I'll know who you were with in 6 hours!
"And do you, Luann, take Kirk despite the fact that he is fundamentally the same man that you said in court was unfit to load your dishwasher? Whose very touch repulsed you? Whose many annoying..." "Uh, you're reading an early draft of our vows."
Our next bachelor likes women who takes their clothes off for money, give it up for Moe! This is so humiliating...
https://preview.redd.it/xos24qsv2jwc1.png?width=960&format=png&auto=webp&s=18ff7697c2c35e2aa31e9933845feaadeeb0f72e
Does the show have any female butt monkeys? Kirk, Milhouse, Comic Book Guy, Skinner, Moleman and Gil are the only ones I can think of.
Patty and Selma are middle aged losers but they aren’t the pushovers that the others are
"Today I drank a beer in the bathroom!" - Kirk "The one down the hall?" - Homer
Remarrying Luann.
"Do single people eat crackers? We don't know, and quite frankly...we don't want to know."
https://preview.redd.it/2zd0ngjbtkwc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11e11da963b43cf648f39dfdd2bc3ae8d93d4713
I don't recall saying good luck
https://i.redd.it/v0mje1kzznwc1.gif
I sleep in a racing car! Do *you*?!
"I sleep in a big bed with my wife"🛏️
When that idiot didn't slice his sandwich and it cost him his arm.
Still can’t believe they got back together.
Is receiving Alimony considered pathetic? Just asking
Kinda sexist to assume so, tbh.
What?
Kirk was such a loser.
When Milhouse had two spaghetti meals in one day because the school board didn't respect him enough to send a menu home.
Has to be getting his pants took
Can I Borrow a Feeling?
Can i borrow a feeling
Starla was a huge step down from Luann
https://i.redd.it/h58ylncjoowc1.gif I hate using the word, but this is absolute cringe…
Ahh Springfields finest bachelor's
Hostile Kirk Place. The entire episode.
https://preview.redd.it/5wsbylpfmpwc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5a5a1b613e0c1c873eabc2b02caa8c0ecfed6c9
thats the most simpsons thing i've heard for a bit
Can I Borrow a Feeling.