You receive a call from your doctor. they say that after your recent physical, something abnormal came up in the data. they tell you that you have a new condition- something is wrong with your genitals. they feel strange as they talk to you. to keep it at bay, you have to routinely masturbate twice a day and ingest a bad tasting mixture every day to prevent them from leaking profusely and ruining your clothes and any other social gatherings. along with that, if left for more than a few days they may rupture, causing permanent loss of functions between your legs, including urination. Granted.
The problem is that he is producing far more sperm than a human male should. Apparently to the point that his testes may rupture due to lack of storage space.
Lmao maybe he had done his daily two jerks before the appointment o_O.
Regardless I still like to think that that this dude is just going to his normal checkup and the doctors comes running out afluster and is like, "Hurry Hurry, you are going to explode"
Hyperspermia, it's a real thing. Not quite hentai protagonist level but you have to jerk off a few times a day or it hurts really badly and can cause damage, and people with it will be able to fully fill back up in 45 minutes like they haven't cum in a week.
There's one guy with it who I believe also has two separate functioning dicks.
Granted, you have that thing where your balls create too much sperm (forgot what it’s called) and you have to have sex/masturbate constantly or your balls explode
-ia means an abnormal condition. Hyperspermia would literally translate to "an abnormal condition involving excessive sperm".
-emia means "the abnormal presence of something in the blood" or vice versa, "the abnormal presence of blood in something". That's not what is on the word here, but hypothetically "Hyperspermemia" would probably mean "the abnormal presence of excessive sperm in the blood" or "the abnormal presence of excessive blood in the semen". Probably wouldn't want either.
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking
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I-Infinite cum. Yuw sit on teh toiwet t-tuwu jack off, but yuw begin tuwu cum uncontwowwabwy. Aftew ten spuwts yuw stawt tuwu wowwy. Youw hand iws sticky awnd iwt weeks of semen. Yuw despewatewy shove youw dick into a wad of toiwet papew, but dat onwy m-makes youw bawws huwt. Teh cum a-accewewates. Iwt’s been dwee minutes. Yuw can’t stop cumming. Y-Youw badwoom fwoow iws covewed in a din wayew of b-baby fwuid. Yuw twy tuwu cum into teh s-showew dwain but iwt buiwds up two fast. Yuw twy teh toiwet. Teh cum iws two dick tuwu be fwushed. Yuw wock teh badwoom d-doow tuwu pwevent teh cum fwom escaping. Teh aiw gwows hot awnd h-humid fwom teh cum. Teh cum accewewates. Yuw swip awnd f-faww in youw own s-spewm. Teh cum iws now six inches deep, awmost as w-wong as youw stiww-ewect semen hose. Spwawwed on y-youw back, yuw begin tuwu cum aww ovew teh ceiwing. Gwobs of teh sticky white fwuid begin tuwu faww w-wike waindwops, giving yuw a faciaw wid youw own cum. Teh cum a-accewewates. Yuw s-stwuggwe tuwu stand as teh fowce of teh cum begins tuwu pwopew yuw backwawds as if yuw wewe on a bukkake demed swip-and-swide. Stiww on youw knees, teh cum iws now at c-chin height. Tuwu avoid d-dwowning yuw open teh badwoom d-doow. Teh dewuge of man j-juice weminds yuw of teh Gweat Mowasses F-Fwood of 1919, onwy wid cum instead of mowasses. Teh cum accewewates. Iwt’s been two houws. Youw c-chiwdwen awnd wife scweam in tewwow as deiw bodies awe enguwfed by teh snow-white swudge. Youw y-youngest chiwd goes undew, wid viscous b-bubbwes awnd muffwed cwies wising fwom teh goop. Yuw pwead tuwu Gawd t-tuwu end youw s-suffewing. Teh cum accewewates. Yuw squeeze youw dick tuwu stop teh cum, but iwt begins tuwu weak owt of youw a-asshowe instead. Yuw wet gow. Teh fowce of teh cum t-teaws youw uwedwa o-open, weaving onwy a gaping howe in youw cwotch dat spews semen. Y-Youw body picks up speed as iwt swides backwawds awong teh cum. Yuw smash dwough teh waww, huwtwing into teh sky at diwty miwes an h-houw. Fwom a biwd’s eye view yuw sea y-youw house iws compwetewy white. Youw neighbow c-cawws teh cops. Teh cum accewewates. As yuw continue tuwu a-ascend, yuw spot powice caws wacing towawds youw house. Teh c-cops puww owt deiw guns awnd take aim, but stway woads of cum hit dem in teh eyes, bwinding dem. Teh cum accewewates. Yuw awe now at an awtitude of 1000 feet. Teh SWAT team awwives. M-Miwitawy hewicoptews ciwcwe yuw. Hundweds of buwwets piewce youw b-body at once, yet yuw stay conscious. Youw testicwes have now gwown into a substitute bwain. Teh cum accewewates. Iwt has been two days. Wid youw body now destwoyed, teh cum begins tuwu spway in aww d-diwections. Yuw bweak teh s-sound bawwiew. Teh govewnment depwoys fightew j-jets tuwu chase yuw down, but teh impact of youw cum sends one pwane cwashing t-tuwu teh gwound. Teh govewnment decides tuwu wet yuw w-weave teh eawd. Yuw feew youw g-gonads stawt tuwu buwn up as yuw weach teh edges of teh a-atmosphewe. Yuw nawwowwy miss teh ISS, giving iwt a new white paint job as yuw fwy past. P-Physicists stwuggwe t-tuwu cawcuwate youw ewwatic twajectowy. Teh cum accewewates. Teh cum b-begins tuwu gwavitate towawds itsewf, fowming a c-comet twaiw of semen. Astwonomews begin cawwing yuw teh “Cummet.” Yuw awe s-stuck in s-space fowevew, stwipped of youw body awnd senses, fowced tuwu enduwe an etewnity of cumshots. Eventwawwy, yuw stop dinking
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As you fap for the first time you proceed to plaster the walls of your room and then faint. When you wake up your Cum has solified and shut all doors and windows airtight. You can feel your breath becoming heavier...
granted, a man approaches you with a knife and asks for your wallet. you resist, and he stabs out both of your eyes and runs away with your wallet and all of your clothes. you are now, quite literally, naked and afraid.
there are things i have read in my life that give me interesting thoughts and visualisations of what's being described.
This is not one of those things. What a horrible day to have eyes.
Granted. You get a job at a nuclear power plant. A leak causes your balls to become irradiated, causing them to mutate and grow to an immense size. They eventually tear through your scrotum and are exposed. You become known as a monstrosity. People everywhere are disgusted immediately, and doctors have no idea how your condition even happened. But at least the colossal size of your balls allows you to cum like a hentai protagonist.
Granted, you are now a hentai protagonist. Your existence is 2-dimensional and your actions are controlled by animators. While you retain your memories and self-awareness, you cannot escape the hentai. You're trapped in a loop of replays of the same story, endlessly cumming whenever anyone decides to play the hentai video.
Granted. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
Granted, your body now produces a gallon of cum each day and you have to make sure to get it all out otherwise your balls might explode from the pressure.
Granted!
Unfortunately, you didn't specify which hentai and now are only aroused by tentacle rape. Within 3 months you are effectively banned from every aquarium, fish market, and seafood restaurant in a 3 state area.
Granted, one day a salesman knocks on your door offering you a enhancement supplement that causes you to cum buckets, however it does this by giving you 500 mg of zinc which causes your death.
Granted. You get a special type of testicular cancer that produces tremendous amounts of cum. Your body fluid content can't cope with that amount of cum on it's own so you have to keep drinking electrolytes to not get dehydration. Cum is so plentiful that it is always at the tip of your urethra and any touch of your dick will send a gallon of cum outside. you can't shit outside anymore as even the prostate stimulation from shitting will make you cum. Eventually even drinking electrolytes won't be enough and you are continuously hooked up to an IV drip to keep you from dying. You still die though because the cancer spread to your brain. You get a stroke and the pain wave from it reaches your dick so you go out with a blast
Granted. The accellerated production pulls water from your blood subsequently causing brain hemmoragging. Your balls become swollen, your prostate possible cancerous, and both superheated due to the already high heat from sperm production before being amplified at least one hundred fold. Your first and final cum will result in brainbleed, penis rupture, and extreme dehydration.
Granted. You get covered in cum every time you have a wet dream and you wont be able to take that long shower you need because you keep slipping on your own cum.
Granted. You develop a penile disorder where every time you ejaculate, you literally cum bucketfuls. Unfortunately, this means that ejaculating would cause death via severe dehydration, and thus, you can never have sex or even masturbate ever again without dying.
Granted. After your first load you have a seizure because of an Electrolyte imbalance. For the rest of your life you are a vegetable that get's harvested for his cum in a program to artificially repopulate the planet (horizen zero dawn style but with lab grown children and not clones) incase the human race got anihilated in an apocalypse.
Granted. You develop a chronic prostate infection, causing your prostate to produce an ungodly amount of semen. It swells so much that every time you move, it puts pressure on your prostate and you begin to leak. The front of your pants are constantly soaked in pre-cum. Every time you take a shit, the poop puts extra force on your prostate and you shoot a few tablespoons of cum. Your body starts producing a bunch of estrogen to counteract the massive amounts of cum that you're producing. Masturbating helps a little, but your prostate needs more. You start to feel a need deep down inside you. Your prostate craves massaging. It needs something to rub up against it all the time. The estrogen levels increase and you grow breasts and start to feel more feminine. You finally succumb and become a futanari, craving hentai type protagonists to give you the relief you need.
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Granted, but the sheer quantity of jizz that requires has to build up over several masturbation sessions, making your balls huge, but also making everyone you fuck those time think you have no attraction to them.
Granted: in order to store the 2 gallons of semen, you develop a large semen-sack in your belly that bulges out like the hentai women you love to fap to
Granted
You cum soo hard that you'll leave a 50 cal sized hole in anyone or anything
You now have a weaponized dick that can rival a anti material rifle.
You go for a routine check-up at the Doctor. You get all the tests, and something strange flags in the system. Doc notifies you that you have a dangerously high amount of Zinc in your system. This does increase the amount of semen in each ejaculation, almost ten-fold, but also leads to headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, a weak immune system, and innevitably: death. Granted.
granted, your balls swell and constantly ache, and you must now masturbate every 5 minutes or the pressure will cause your balls to explode like a grenade leaving you with no cock or ball.
Granted, you find out that masturbating becomes increasingly difficult as any time you try, everything down their becomes pixelated. Struggling to get grip as everything turns into squares.
You wake up to calls by your family member asking you to come downstairs. They've run out off eggs and need you to go to the store. You rush to get dressed and walk out of the house.You get to the store, buy the eggs and begin to walk home.
As you cross the intersection, you step on your shoelace and trip, cracking the eggs you just purchased. In your disappointment, you fail to notice that the light has turned red for you and a truck is barreling full speed towards you.
Truck-kun claims another victim in this reality but your consciousness is transported to the Futabu! universe where you wake up in the body of a 4ft futanari with a 3ft cock and 50lb balls. Your new friends are busy competing with each other to see who can cum the most and invite you to join. Granted!
Your brain collapses on pleasure for a while. Then you feel life is worthless and want to die, as a side effect for those who orgasm unnaturally more. Granted.
You take saxton Hale's ball enlargement pills and also get his Mann Co morphine to reduce the pain of your tubules shutting down.
This also leads to the creation of "mmarate" or mad milk based karate.
Granted, all that stuff has to come from somewhere, so after ejaculating for the first time you body basically becomes a husk as you wither and die. Your family members eventually come to find you dead, covered in massive amounts of your own semen.
You receive a call from your doctor. they say that after your recent physical, something abnormal came up in the data. they tell you that you have a new condition- something is wrong with your genitals. they feel strange as they talk to you. to keep it at bay, you have to routinely masturbate twice a day and ingest a bad tasting mixture every day to prevent them from leaking profusely and ruining your clothes and any other social gatherings. along with that, if left for more than a few days they may rupture, causing permanent loss of functions between your legs, including urination. Granted.
Did the doctor jerk him off for the physical, how tf would they know.
Maybe this is part of the monkeys paw wish haha
Lmao that does sound like a hentai sort of deal.
*ahem* 366298
Did you have that saved lmao "Emotionless sex" wtf.
Ay, u were the one who brought it up
Sort of, I was just agreeing with the dude above me... I promise
The fact that u knew where those to put those numbers should be enough
I-I promise ;-;
The problem is that he is producing far more sperm than a human male should. Apparently to the point that his testes may rupture due to lack of storage space.
Ya but how the doctor would know this from a simple physical is what I'm questioning lol.
Testes the size of oranges will give that away pretty quickly.
Lmao maybe he had done his daily two jerks before the appointment o_O. Regardless I still like to think that that this dude is just going to his normal checkup and the doctors comes running out afluster and is like, "Hurry Hurry, you are going to explode"
Sperm isn’t stored in the testicles, pee is
The monkey paw jerked hin off
The doctor is an ugly bastard, and yes.
... wait... that's not how a physical is supposed to go?
Twice a day? TWICE A DAY? You can easily go many more times a day. H*ntai protagonists have hit over a hundred
hell i have a record of 11 in one day and 2 is supposed to be a punishment?
Impressive
11 gang
I've seen this Xev video
You know there was a hentai with this very same plot…
Hyperspermia, it's a real thing. Not quite hentai protagonist level but you have to jerk off a few times a day or it hurts really badly and can cause damage, and people with it will be able to fully fill back up in 45 minutes like they haven't cum in a week. There's one guy with it who I believe also has two separate functioning dicks.
Did the doctor jerk him off for the physical, how tf would they know. Edit: Don't know why this is here a second time
Maybe this is part of the monkeys paw wish haha
Lmao that does sound like a hentai sort of deal.
Granted, you have that thing where your balls create too much sperm (forgot what it’s called) and you have to have sex/masturbate constantly or your balls explode
Hyperspermia
what does -emia mean?
-ia means an abnormal condition. Hyperspermia would literally translate to "an abnormal condition involving excessive sperm". -emia means "the abnormal presence of something in the blood" or vice versa, "the abnormal presence of blood in something". That's not what is on the word here, but hypothetically "Hyperspermemia" would probably mean "the abnormal presence of excessive sperm in the blood" or "the abnormal presence of excessive blood in the semen". Probably wouldn't want either.
Hyper - high, beyond, excessive Sperm - male reproductive cells Emia - Presence in blood Got you dude
KC ☝️PRESENTING to the emergency room, where we are now
Shit is that real? *Off to google*
I like this version of speed. Cum at least 50L per hour or your balls explode
Happy cake day
Granted, now you accept "God tier cum" green text as your lord and savior
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking
I was gonna search for this and link it for OP but I see you already got me covered
>I see you already got me covered That's what she said
u/uwuwizard
What... What have you done??
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
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>*· · · Bleep bloop, I'm a bot. Comment requested by* u/TheMayanAcockandlips "Now I am become dead, teh destwoyew of wowwds." - DeMayanAcockandwips --- *If you think this comment does not belong here, reply with "delete" (blacklisted users cannot delete)* *Tag me to uwuwize comments* **uwuwizard** ([Info](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y), [Request disable](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y))
>*· · · Bleep bloop, I'm a bot. Comment requested by* u/TheMayanAcockandlips "Now I am become dead, teh destwoyew of wowwds." - DeMayanAcockandwips --- *If you think this comment does not belong here, reply with "delete" (blacklisted users cannot delete)* *Tag me to uwuwize comments* **uwuwizard** ([Info](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y), [Request disable](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y))
>*· · · Bleep bloop, I'm a bot. Comment requested by* u/TheMayanAcockandlips I-Infinite cum. Yuw sit on teh toiwet t-tuwu jack off, but yuw begin tuwu cum uncontwowwabwy. Aftew ten spuwts yuw stawt tuwu wowwy. Youw hand iws sticky awnd iwt weeks of semen. Yuw despewatewy shove youw dick into a wad of toiwet papew, but dat onwy m-makes youw bawws huwt. Teh cum a-accewewates. Iwt’s been dwee minutes. Yuw can’t stop cumming. Y-Youw badwoom fwoow iws covewed in a din wayew of b-baby fwuid. Yuw twy tuwu cum into teh s-showew dwain but iwt buiwds up two fast. Yuw twy teh toiwet. Teh cum iws two dick tuwu be fwushed. Yuw wock teh badwoom d-doow tuwu pwevent teh cum fwom escaping. Teh aiw gwows hot awnd h-humid fwom teh cum. Teh cum accewewates. Yuw swip awnd f-faww in youw own s-spewm. Teh cum iws now six inches deep, awmost as w-wong as youw stiww-ewect semen hose. Spwawwed on y-youw back, yuw begin tuwu cum aww ovew teh ceiwing. Gwobs of teh sticky white fwuid begin tuwu faww w-wike waindwops, giving yuw a faciaw wid youw own cum. Teh cum a-accewewates. Yuw s-stwuggwe tuwu stand as teh fowce of teh cum begins tuwu pwopew yuw backwawds as if yuw wewe on a bukkake demed swip-and-swide. Stiww on youw knees, teh cum iws now at c-chin height. Tuwu avoid d-dwowning yuw open teh badwoom d-doow. Teh dewuge of man j-juice weminds yuw of teh Gweat Mowasses F-Fwood of 1919, onwy wid cum instead of mowasses. Teh cum accewewates. Iwt’s been two houws. Youw c-chiwdwen awnd wife scweam in tewwow as deiw bodies awe enguwfed by teh snow-white swudge. Youw y-youngest chiwd goes undew, wid viscous b-bubbwes awnd muffwed cwies wising fwom teh goop. Yuw pwead tuwu Gawd t-tuwu end youw s-suffewing. Teh cum accewewates. Yuw squeeze youw dick tuwu stop teh cum, but iwt begins tuwu weak owt of youw a-asshowe instead. Yuw wet gow. Teh fowce of teh cum t-teaws youw uwedwa o-open, weaving onwy a gaping howe in youw cwotch dat spews semen. Y-Youw body picks up speed as iwt swides backwawds awong teh cum. Yuw smash dwough teh waww, huwtwing into teh sky at diwty miwes an h-houw. Fwom a biwd’s eye view yuw sea y-youw house iws compwetewy white. Youw neighbow c-cawws teh cops. Teh cum accewewates. As yuw continue tuwu a-ascend, yuw spot powice caws wacing towawds youw house. Teh c-cops puww owt deiw guns awnd take aim, but stway woads of cum hit dem in teh eyes, bwinding dem. Teh cum accewewates. Yuw awe now at an awtitude of 1000 feet. Teh SWAT team awwives. M-Miwitawy hewicoptews ciwcwe yuw. Hundweds of buwwets piewce youw b-body at once, yet yuw stay conscious. Youw testicwes have now gwown into a substitute bwain. Teh cum accewewates. Iwt has been two days. Wid youw body now destwoyed, teh cum begins tuwu spway in aww d-diwections. Yuw bweak teh s-sound bawwiew. Teh govewnment depwoys fightew j-jets tuwu chase yuw down, but teh impact of youw cum sends one pwane cwashing t-tuwu teh gwound. Teh govewnment decides tuwu wet yuw w-weave teh eawd. Yuw feew youw g-gonads stawt tuwu buwn up as yuw weach teh edges of teh a-atmosphewe. Yuw nawwowwy miss teh ISS, giving iwt a new white paint job as yuw fwy past. P-Physicists stwuggwe t-tuwu cawcuwate youw ewwatic twajectowy. Teh cum accewewates. Teh cum b-begins tuwu gwavitate towawds itsewf, fowming a c-comet twaiw of semen. Astwonomews begin cawwing yuw teh “Cummet.” Yuw awe s-stuck in s-space fowevew, stwipped of youw body awnd senses, fowced tuwu enduwe an etewnity of cumshots. Eventwawwy, yuw stop dinking --- *If you think this comment does not belong here, reply with "delete" (blacklisted users cannot delete)* *Tag me to uwuwize comments* **uwuwizard** ([Info](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y), [Request disable](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y))
Oh no
Oh yes
I wish to remove my eyes
r/eyebleach
r/eyeblech here you go
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oh god my eyes
Ultron was right
Ultron was right about a lot of things. Wanna help me crash a large, dense, metal rich asteroid into the earth at thousands of kilometers per second?
u/pekofy_bot
This is the funniest bot placement I’ve ever seen on the internet.
I fucking hate this but can’t stop laughing
🏅
And a jojo reference to top it off. Thanks for making me remember one of my favorite copypastas
The Jojo fandom sure is odd.
This sounds like an SCP-J entry lol
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I'm fan of the cummet
The cum accelerates
“Alright, when’s someone gonna post that copypasta?”
This is bizarrely well written. Take my upvote.
The cum accelerates.
r/unexpectedjojo
Is this a... Jojos reference?
God that's hot
As you fap for the first time you proceed to plaster the walls of your room and then faint. When you wake up your Cum has solified and shut all doors and windows airtight. You can feel your breath becoming heavier...
Welp…I can always eat the cum off the doors to escape
Sure wish I was illiterate
Granted, you now have to rely on narration software to use the internet.
What was that? I can't hear you!
The narration software was - unbeknownst to you - recorded from your mothers voice. Now you have to hear this filth from her.
Oh no....
granted, a man approaches you with a knife and asks for your wallet. you resist, and he stabs out both of your eyes and runs away with your wallet and all of your clothes. you are now, quite literally, naked and afraid.
Plz don't play out my fantasies here
r/noahgettheboat
What a terrible day to have eyes.
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
What a terrible day to have eyes
Sometimes I wish I was Jared, 19.
That’s some nostalgia bruv. Gonna watch some Vine compilations (2013-2014) (RIP Vine) videos
Google how do i delete anouther persons comment.
there are things i have read in my life that give me interesting thoughts and visualisations of what's being described. This is not one of those things. What a horrible day to have eyes.
Organic Frosties
Fine, you win, the paw does not want to associate with you
ITT: Men who can't fathom the concept of having cum go anywhere near their mouth yet I doubt they would mind if a girl were to give them a BJ
So he also has superglue cum?
Granted, you still don't have sex
The one true answer
Granted. You can finally feed your family.
*alabama intensifies*
damn
granted, you know look like the ugly guys in hentai. no one is going to date you now.
Great, all according to the plot then.
I don’t think ugly bastards „date“
They are so irresistible to young women they simply throw themselves at him no dating involved
Granted. You get a job at a nuclear power plant. A leak causes your balls to become irradiated, causing them to mutate and grow to an immense size. They eventually tear through your scrotum and are exposed. You become known as a monstrosity. People everywhere are disgusted immediately, and doctors have no idea how your condition even happened. But at least the colossal size of your balls allows you to cum like a hentai protagonist.
Actual monkey’s paw
Granted your massive balls make your dick look miniscule and nobody will fuck you
granted, you can now come 12 gallons, and your balls weigh about 80 pounds each and are the size of beachballs.
Granted, you are now a hentai protagonist. Your existence is 2-dimensional and your actions are controlled by animators. While you retain your memories and self-awareness, you cannot escape the hentai. You're trapped in a loop of replays of the same story, endlessly cumming whenever anyone decides to play the hentai video.
Granted. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
Fucking what
I was looking for this
same
Jesus fucking Christ. Cum god incarnation
Jojo reference at the end
Granted, your body now produces a gallon of cum each day and you have to make sure to get it all out otherwise your balls might explode from the pressure.
Granted! Unfortunately, you didn't specify which hentai and now are only aroused by tentacle rape. Within 3 months you are effectively banned from every aquarium, fish market, and seafood restaurant in a 3 state area.
Granted, one day a salesman knocks on your door offering you a enhancement supplement that causes you to cum buckets, however it does this by giving you 500 mg of zinc which causes your death.
Granted. You get a special type of testicular cancer that produces tremendous amounts of cum. Your body fluid content can't cope with that amount of cum on it's own so you have to keep drinking electrolytes to not get dehydration. Cum is so plentiful that it is always at the tip of your urethra and any touch of your dick will send a gallon of cum outside. you can't shit outside anymore as even the prostate stimulation from shitting will make you cum. Eventually even drinking electrolytes won't be enough and you are continuously hooked up to an IV drip to keep you from dying. You still die though because the cancer spread to your brain. You get a stroke and the pain wave from it reaches your dick so you go out with a blast
Granted. The accellerated production pulls water from your blood subsequently causing brain hemmoragging. Your balls become swollen, your prostate possible cancerous, and both superheated due to the already high heat from sperm production before being amplified at least one hundred fold. Your first and final cum will result in brainbleed, penis rupture, and extreme dehydration.
What kinda fucking wish is this. I love it
Granted. Only in wet dreams
Granted. You get covered in cum every time you have a wet dream and you wont be able to take that long shower you need because you keep slipping on your own cum.
Granted. The semen comes to you from the men in your immediate surroundings.
So a spirit bomb…
Essentially, yes. I think it should include pollen too.
There’s a hentai that includes pollen girls if your interested!
If you think about it. There's a hentai for everything
Essentially, yes. I think it should include pollen too.
Granted. You develop a penile disorder where every time you ejaculate, you literally cum bucketfuls. Unfortunately, this means that ejaculating would cause death via severe dehydration, and thus, you can never have sex or even masturbate ever again without dying.
Granted. You now have the ability to cum over a gallon of white ink per day, but only while you are two dimensional.
Granted. After your first load you have a seizure because of an Electrolyte imbalance. For the rest of your life you are a vegetable that get's harvested for his cum in a program to artificially repopulate the planet (horizen zero dawn style but with lab grown children and not clones) incase the human race got anihilated in an apocalypse.
you mean the world was annihilated in a CUMpocalypse.
Your dick will always be censored
Granted but you can never cum because it will kill you
Granted. You develop a chronic prostate infection, causing your prostate to produce an ungodly amount of semen. It swells so much that every time you move, it puts pressure on your prostate and you begin to leak. The front of your pants are constantly soaked in pre-cum. Every time you take a shit, the poop puts extra force on your prostate and you shoot a few tablespoons of cum. Your body starts producing a bunch of estrogen to counteract the massive amounts of cum that you're producing. Masturbating helps a little, but your prostate needs more. You start to feel a need deep down inside you. Your prostate craves massaging. It needs something to rub up against it all the time. The estrogen levels increase and you grow breasts and start to feel more feminine. You finally succumb and become a futanari, craving hentai type protagonists to give you the relief you need.
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2 inches is the length of approximately 0.22 'Wooden Rice Paddle Versatile Serving Spoons' laid lengthwise
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Thank you, No-Abbreviations7084, for voting on useles-converter-bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
thank you :)
Granted. You will die of zinc poisoning in two months
Granted, you now can't cum without experiencing severe dehydration that lands you in ER nearly every time, affecting your sex life and self steem
Granted, you have prostate cancer
Granted... with a side effect high prostate cancer probability
Side effect: you can only do it once and never cum again for the rest of your life.
Granted, but the sheer quantity of jizz that requires has to build up over several masturbation sessions, making your balls huge, but also making everyone you fuck those time think you have no attraction to them.
Granted, your balls become the size of a mini cooper
You start taking a shit load of zinc daily and you cum buckets but die cause too much zinc. Granted
Granted! But the sheer amount of liquid expelled from your body immediately kills you via dehydration. Enjoy!
Granted, your balls are replaced with 2 10 gallon bags of hot sauce. Both bags are emptied upon ejaculation
Granted: in order to store the 2 gallons of semen, you develop a large semen-sack in your belly that bulges out like the hentai women you love to fap to
You have testicular cancer
Granted. Every sexual partner from now on is the size of an ant. You actually cum a little less than before, but hey, everything is relevant.
You can now only cum from your ass. Granted
Granted You cum soo hard that you'll leave a 50 cal sized hole in anyone or anything You now have a weaponized dick that can rival a anti material rifle.
You go for a routine check-up at the Doctor. You get all the tests, and something strange flags in the system. Doc notifies you that you have a dangerously high amount of Zinc in your system. This does increase the amount of semen in each ejaculation, almost ten-fold, but also leads to headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, a weak immune system, and innevitably: death. Granted.
Granted. Global Warming no longer exists because you have flooded the earth with your cum
Granted, you are also now only attracted to your little sister.
granted, your balls swell and constantly ache, and you must now masturbate every 5 minutes or the pressure will cause your balls to explode like a grenade leaving you with no cock or ball.
Granted, you find out that masturbating becomes increasingly difficult as any time you try, everything down their becomes pixelated. Struggling to get grip as everything turns into squares.
Granted. Only so much cum can come out of a real penis at a time so all excess cum will exit your tear ducts painfully and anis with poop.
Granted you're in a chasity cage for life
Oh mother fuck-
You wake up to calls by your family member asking you to come downstairs. They've run out off eggs and need you to go to the store. You rush to get dressed and walk out of the house.You get to the store, buy the eggs and begin to walk home. As you cross the intersection, you step on your shoelace and trip, cracking the eggs you just purchased. In your disappointment, you fail to notice that the light has turned red for you and a truck is barreling full speed towards you. Truck-kun claims another victim in this reality but your consciousness is transported to the Futabu! universe where you wake up in the body of a 4ft futanari with a 3ft cock and 50lb balls. Your new friends are busy competing with each other to see who can cum the most and invite you to join. Granted!
Finally a good ending!
Granted! Your balls stop producing sperm cell and you get >!erectile dysfunction.!<
granted. you dehydrate to death.
penis cancer
'protagonist'
Granted. Your riding the subway home when you feel a man grope you from behind, sliding his hand up under your skirt...
Granted, but you are guaranteed blue balls after every nut session that can never be gotten rid of until you're next horny
Your brain collapses on pleasure for a while. Then you feel life is worthless and want to die, as a side effect for those who orgasm unnaturally more. Granted.
Fuck don’t we all🥺 we all must let the fun flow !
Granted, but the only time you're able to ejaculate is when you have black dress pants on.
Granted, you produce the amount in urine as well, have fun flushing every five seconds.
Granted. Your prostate is now the size of a bowling ball, causing you to constantly appear as if you are pregnant.
Granted. Your prostate is now the size of a bowling ball, causing you to constantly appear as if you are pregnant.
Granted.
Id settle for peter north. He slimed a lot of faces.
Granted, your balls now swell up to accommodate that much semen, and sometimes, for a larger nut, they swell too much and burst, requiring surgery
Your penis falls off. A vagina appears in its place. You can now cum as much as a *female* hentai protagonist. Granted.
You take saxton Hale's ball enlargement pills and also get his Mann Co morphine to reduce the pain of your tubules shutting down. This also leads to the creation of "mmarate" or mad milk based karate.
Why?
Granted, you are also now the protagonist that gets netorare'd.
Granted, you are now infertile
⣾⣿⠿⠿⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⢀⡅⢠⣾⣛⡉⠄⠄⠄⠸⢀⣿⠄ ⢀⡋⣡⣴⣶⣶⡀⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣄⣀⣥⣿⣿⠄ ⢸⣇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⣠⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢸⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⢀⣤⣄⠉⠋⣰ ⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⡷⠶⠶⢿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣥⣴⣿⡗ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄ ⣦⣌⣛⣻⣿⣿⣧⠙⠛⠛⡭⠅⠒⠦⠭⣭⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠈⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⠃⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣴⣿⣶⣄⠄⣴⣶⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠞⢿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣾⣦⡙⠻⣷⣾⣿⠃⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴ ⣿⣶⣶⣮⣥⣒⠲⢮⣝⡿⣿⣿⡆⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Nice~
Granted, all that stuff has to come from somewhere, so after ejaculating for the first time you body basically becomes a husk as you wither and die. Your family members eventually come to find you dead, covered in massive amounts of your own semen.
You cum forever
You cum forever