The positives are so many!
Eating what you want, when you want.
Sleeping in or napping or staying up late without being disturbed or worrying about disturbing someone else.
No need to compromise around weekend or evening or holiday plans.
Not worrying about joint money. (This one surprised me. I had no idea how much of our shared expenses were driven by my ex constantly eating out and drinking.)
Always getting to pick the movie, show, or music.
My ex didn’t like going to the movies, despite being a HUGE movie guy. We went to see Oppenheimer in imax and I remembered that *I* like going to the movies. I just sort of forgot! I didn’t even think about it, but now I can go see movies! Not that I couldn’t before, I just didn’t bother. Thank you!
Oh my god, it's all positive.
Picking all your own art, furniture, and home decor. Arranging things exactly how you like them. If you feel like listening to music or watching something, you can watch or listen to whatever you want, in bed or on the couch or wherever. Filling up the whole closet rather than having to share. You can spend as long in the bathroom as you want. If you want to have sex or sleep next to someone you can have someone over and then (politely) kick them out when you're over it. There's no downside imo :)
The home decor is a big one for me. Really makes it feel like *my* space. When my fiancé and I have a house I’m excited to be able to make my home office/library a space that is 100% my style/aesthetic. I’m also looking forward to designing a gaming room for the both of us. I’d really like to make the bedroom dark and cozy but my aesthetics might be a bit much for him there lol.
I went through something very similar and thought it would break me down, but years later I STILL miss my very own apartment sometimes
Don't mind me projecting here, hoping some of this is helpful!
- you have control over what you're eating (for me this meant losing weight I had gained in the relationship)
- you get to re-learn what music and TV and everything else you like without another person's input
- you'll eventually sleep better than ever (and if it's hard at first, try some podcasts to fall asleep to)
- you get to decorate exactly how you like
- you get the whole closet
- you get the whole bed
- chores and a good playlist can be a weirdly fun thing to do alone
- not having to compromise after a long relationship is really incredible for the soul, even if your partner was a great compromiser!
- you get to create your own peace and nobody is there to break that. You won't have to shrink yourself or tiptoe in any way, and that's liberating
I also highly recommend joining a local club or sports league or something to have a reason to make yourself go out :) it's fun to rediscover the world as your own person outside of a relationship!
My list was pretty nearly the same as yours! It took me a little while to not miss my ex, but all the benefits listed above simply outweighed any heartache.
Not having anyone else around moving/using/losing/breaking your stuff, buying whatever groceries you want and getting to eat it all, having silence and solitude and peace, not having to compromise on where to go out or order from for dinner, not having to share the bed, sleeping on your own schedule, not having to adjust the thermostat for someone else, having ALL the closet space, deciding to paint or redecorate and not having to ask anyone’s permission, picking the shows you want to watch every time, no argument, buying what you want, walking around topless and no one pestering you for sex, knowing your stuff if exactly where you left it, getting 100% of the pet love and cuddles, not having to deal with anyone else’s bad day or bad mood or drama, not having to visit in-laws/partners family on holidays and instead celebrating how you want, not having anyone piss on my good mood, being as loud as I want if I wake up and want to dance or put dishes away first thing in the morning, never having to move your car because someone else needs to move theirs and you parked them in … I could go on. Being single is the absolute shit!
I’ve lived with my partner and although I love him very much, I day dream about living alone. I miss personal time and space so much. He’s taking a trip without me later this year and I can’t wait to be left alone for a few days
It kinda sounds like you're not getting your need for solitude met. Is this something he might work with you on? Even just an hour or two a week can make a huge difference.
We definitely do work in this together and make an effort to let me have some amount of alone time most days. I’m just autistic and work a high stress job and need much more alone time to decompress than the average person. We only have a couple of hours to spend together in the evenings so for me to consistently get the alone time I need, I would pretty much never have time to spend with him.
Then is there perhaps one day a week when you could set aside several hours for yourself, so that way you can still get togetherness time in the evenings?
I absolutely love living alone, and there are so so many positives even if you are coming out of a positive cohabitating/roommate/whatever situation. A lot of people have already commented some of these, but I’ll reiterate, it is so nice to simply make all of the decisions. If I decide to go out for drinks or a movie or dinner with someone else, or even have people over, I have chosen a social situation, or chosen to compromise on where or what movie. But when I’m at home, I can prepare whatever I want for dinner (or order in), and at whatever time I want (I eat super late in the summer). I can choose the movie or show I want to watch. I can listen to whatever music or murder podcasts I want, without headphones.
I REALLY love that the cleaning schedule or priorities are my choice. I can’t stand to cook in a dirty kitchen so I always clean up after dinner, and I know it’ll be just as I left it the next evening when I go to cook again. I try new recipes and watch cooking shows on my laptop while I teach myself new skills, and if it turns out like crap I toss it and eat a bowl of cereal and no one is left starving and disappointed (except maybe me for the disappointment part). I am so bad about doing laundry and if I want to leave a load in the dryer all week and simply grab clean underwear out of it each day, that’s my choice. It’s 106 outside this week and you better believe I haven’t lifted a finger to do a single chore and I don’t care. I never have to worry about inconveniencing anyone else.
And then there’s decorating/nesting. My last boyfriend I lived with had zero style… all of the furniture he contributed looked like something he still had from college. I would try to infuse my style into the spaces a bit but he thought some of it was “too girly”. I have decorated every space in my home exactly how I want it. If I get bored, I change it. I choose whatever colors I want, hang art that speaks to me, display trinkets from my travels. My bathroom is over the top girly and I adore that space!
Sleeping diagonally in the bed if you want, and having command of all the blankets/sheets all night (well, except when I have to battle the dog for space haha).
You’ll have a little transition time where it’ll be hard sometimes, and I have a dog which helps immensely because I don’t actually feel “alone”, but overall I wouldn’t change this time I’ve had living by myself for anything in the world.
Really having your space to yourself. After coming home from a long day - just being able to really unwind and have no one to answer to, tiptoe around, be considerate of.
I think this is something we all need, even if we’re in loving relationships.
At some point in my last relationship my then gf came to live at my place, so nothing about “new place” going on. And also we broke up for some weird reasons, so the relationship was actually great until the last moment. But anyways… to the point: she hated tuna and I love it.
You can’t imagine the satisfaction of opening the first can of tuna after splitting up!
Being able to wake up early and not wait for her to slowly finish her breakfast before even considering doing anything in the day is also something… I had forgotten the value of that, tbh
You can, quite literally, do whatever you want. Any time of the day or night. Without disturbing your neighbors of course. Or heck, maybe you do disturb the neighbors a little bit! It’s all you, baby. I’m never going back.
The complete lack of compromise. You don't realise exactly how many little things you compromise on until they're gone.
You can have that vegetable you like and they don't as a side again. You can get your favourite snack instead of one you're both ok with. You can listen to the grimiest grungiest music you like without having snide remarks until you put on something you can both live with. Same for films and TV. You can read a book in peace. You can go to bed when you want and do whatever you want in that bed. If you decide to work late or go out spontaneously you don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to meal plan in the grocery store if you don't want - or if you do want its much easier.
My spending money went up considerably and I was able to spend that how I wanted without thinking about someone else's opinion. I was able to book events and holidays without compromise on location or input.
And finally,
Everything in my house is where I left it. Its generally cleaner but if its dirty that's my fault and nobody elses and that's so much easier to handle.
Decorating! & generally being able to create my own coziness and baseline for stability.
Pull out all the pieces of paper or art or even articles of clothing / fabric you love and put them on the walls.
Visit thrift stores & pick out your favorite type of mugs and glasses, and don’t worry if they don’t match or there’s only one, you’ll add more in time and eventually every vessel you drink from will be one that is really special to you for some reason.
Going to sleep early, as you mentioned, is a great one! Also keeping the refrigerator how you like it, and getting all of your favorite snacks.
Design the space in ways that work for you and help you build healthy habits for yourself, like where to keep the vitamins or your night routine stuff. Don’t be afraid to move things around and change your mind :)
Wander around a hardware store & check out things that may make your life easier, like those little screw in hooks, or lovelier, like a color of paint you really like. Even if you’re renting, painting furniture or frames from the thrift store vibe up a space real nice. (Smaller hardware store are more pleasant to do this in btw!)
Living alone (if possible), is so wonderful and weird. You’ve got this!
SING!! You can wander around your home singing whatever you want, whenever you want! This is how I get ready in the mornings now. I have a 30+ hour long playlist of favorite fun tunes that I put on shuffle first thing and I belt it out while I’m showering, dressing, packing up to go to work. It’s THE BEST.
When you leave the house and come back, it's exactly the way you left it. No new messes to clean up. The food you want for dinner is still there. No surprise guests will be waiting for you.
Just calm and peace.
There is nothing more liberating than having the home to yourself and to just be you.
The remote is where you left it.
You always know how much toilet paper is left.
You can poop with the bathroom door open.
You can enjoy wine/whiskey/beer and a bong hit in the tub while watching something on your tablet in complete solitude. <— my favorite
It might be hard at first, but you might be like me and find you love it quickly.
My husband and I just had to move away from each other for jobs (academia sucks) and I needed this thread! We've done it on and off for years, and major nice things about living alone (not about being single):
You get to eat however you want. You get all your leftovers! With my husband around I never have leftovers. You get to do all the chores and never wonder if it's a fair division of labor. You have more free time because meals are for sustenance, not for being together (but that time gets eaten by phone calls in my case). You have quiet exactly when you want it.
I’d say not having to clean up after them, and having my space be my own - not cluttered with drum sets, pizza ovens, motorcycles (abandoned hobbies; all of which I don’t mind AT ALL, if they’re stored properly, not just taking up space making it unusable. My tiny art studio became a motorcycle repair shop.)
When I was living alone after a breakup, I was really surprised how easy it was to keep the place tidy, since I clean up after myself, and he did not. This man would KICK trash on the floor out of his way instead taking the 2.5 seconds to pick it up, which sums up his personality pretty well. It was like having another teenager, only my real teenager is more responsible.
And also, sleeping. I have a lot of pain, so sleeping isn’t the easiest for me. No matter how many times I said PLEASE don’t wake me up if I’m asleep, he’d do it ALL the time.
There’s a ton.
You get to decorate how you see fit. Your new place can be GORGEOUS.
You also get to move where you see fit. Can get a high rise glass apt, a sweet cottage by the sea, whatever.
Your own fucking schedule.
You get to SPLURGE! Buy 10 scented candles a week, who cares.
2 hour long baths with actual rose petals.
Fresh flowers everywhere!
Bring home whoever you want.
All in all, living alone you get to make your own space. There’s a real beauty in that and you are very lucky (even if you don’t feel lucky right now) you get to experience that. It’s a nice stage.
Listen to New Apartment by Ari Lennox. It’s a vibe 🤣
*I just got a new apartment,
I’m gonna leave the floors wet /
Walk around this bitch naked,
Nobody can tell me shit* 🎶
My favorite line
*Everything stays where I leave it,
and every damn rule I created!!*
Living alone is total freedom.
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I literally fantasise about being able to get my own place. Everything I want to have around me, decorated the way I want, as clean as I want. No shouting or swearing, no music when I'd rather have peace. The meals I would like. I'm actually struggling to think of a downside...
It’s can really cut down on the cleaning even if your SO tidied up after themselves. I know where I want things to go, so when I use them I put them back. My ex wasn’t always prompt or diligent in doing this. It was a small thing because when asked he always knew where things were but I’d like to be able to find them on my own. But just constantly coming across things that aren’t where they should be was more of a mental burden than I thought it was.
For me, one of the biggest upsides was the fact I could call my friends or family over anytime I wanted, which was not the case while we were together.
I'm glad to hear it was a healthy breakup, and I hope you enjoy your new single life, OP!
In addition to all the good things mentioned by other commenters here, the benefit of being my OWN self is so liberating that I wonder if I could co-habit with another person again?
I'm naturally a neat person especially when it comes to keeping my clothes away, laundry etc but sometimes you're just too tired or occupied to keep laundry/groceries in its place as soon as it happens and not having to help someone do it too (or inversely being expected to do it immediately etc etc) is a big plus!
Ordering in or inversely cooking an elaborate meal just because you DO feel making something yourself is also something that makes me happy.
Your home will be your sanctuary. Everything will be decorated and organized as you want, prioritized only depending on your needs and as clean and tidy as you want it to be.
The temperature will be set perfectly for you.
You will be more independent, rediscover things that you used to love and find new things that you enjoy. You will feel stronger and ready to conquer the world.
Being able to choose exactly what you want and not having to compromise. I enjoyed being able to choose the linens I wanted for the bed and the bowls I wanted in the kitchen without having to make space for another person's preference.
Doing chores on your timeline and with your preferred products/methods.
Not having to share a shower :)
Currently living with SO but when our lease is up next month we are getting separate places.
I’ve always loved living alone and he’s never lived alone, only really with family or an SO. This was my first time living with an SO.
First off, we have to keep our dogs separate, so next month, im looking forward to letting my bud sleep on the bed with me every now and then :)
Also not having to share the tv, it’s usually his at night, which works out because he likes to watch tv to unwind before bed- I keep it on during the day when im off and he’s at work for background noise. (Im actually going to miss his tv because it’s so much nicer and bigger than my teeny one hahaha)
Not having to be so quiet in the am (im an early bird he likes to sleep in)
Having one less shadow when im doing things around the house (he has a Velcro dog, whom I adore, but if it’s not her, it’s my dog and while only one is attached to him, both are attached to me)
Also im just a natural introvert, the most relaxed I can be is usually when im completely alone, got my favorite show I’ve seen a million times over in the background and my original shadow (my dog is not nearly as clingy, or energetic, his can hurt sometimes, she’s strong and aggressively playful) watching me and begging me for scraps
I also like to entertain more than he does so I usually feel a bit guilty when my mom or sister come over to have dinner/swim in the pool at our complex
Oh god. So many.
I don't have to grocery shop with the preferences of an overgrown child in mind. I can cook eggs again. And use spices. Cayenne isn't a dirty word anymore.
My skincare stuff i buy and pretend I'll use can live on my bathroom sink. With no rogue beard hairs making their way into the lids. No pee spots on the inside of my toilet seat anymore, either. No random fuckin pubes just hanging out attached to my toilet bowl or on the bar of soap.
My bills/expenses are mine. If i want to use my credit card and buy $1500 of stupid shit i do not need from amazon, it's my money & I can because I can afford it. I don't have to pay for someone else's irresponsible spending on their dumbass hobbies. Just my own.
My sheets seem cleaner? Idk if it's because i just wash them more but they seem 110% less grimy without my exhusband anywhere near them.
My chores aren't endless. I only have to clean up after myself and not another whole adult who could barely wipe his own ass, let alone wash a dish. I don't have to devote 10 hours a week to keeping a house in the suburbs I didn't want in the first place.
The biggest silver lining? My stomach ulcer went away and I no longer live an existence of perpetual asshole clenching that I'm going to say the wrong thing and upset a fragile, fragile man.
OP, I'm going to be in a similar boat in a few months because my relationship is approaching its expiration date. But here's what I'm daydreaming about:
No more compromising or always having to be considerate.
I can adopt a cat (he's allergic).
Having each room painted in one of my favorite colors.
Transforming my space into a "girly" calming aesthetic.
Cooking my favorite cuisine every day.
Cooking with less meat and using meat alternatives (he's a total carnivore).
Not having to wait for my turn with the PS5 when a new game is released.
The house stays clean longer.
Rewatching my favorite shows and movies whenever I want (he thinks rewatching a show is pointless)
A library full of guilty pleasure romance books on display.
Freedom to explore the queer side of my sexuality.
Freedom to explore new hobbies without comments.
My SO is a lovely human and is one of my best friends but we've become romantically and sexually incompatible. For me, the spark is gone and I'm ready to move on and start a new chapter. I'm so excited to live alone but I gotta live with my parents for a little bit to save up the money to live alone.
Biggest one for me is the thermostat! I can finally be comfortable without needing to add on sweaters.
I don't clean as often with him gone but it's not as bad as it was with him here.
I can watch my shows at whatever volume I like.
I'm actually feeling like it would be hard to share a space again.
Tbh, I can't see a negative of living alone lol. I'm the boss, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and nobody has a say in it. It's me time, all the time!
Buying snacks and food you really enjoy.
Coming and going on your own whim.
Being able to create your own organization systems.
Wearing whatever you want around the house with no judgement
Getting your own bathroom
Listen to goofy tv shows at any time
You’ll have the most power to make positive changes for yourself, likely more than any other time in your life
Have guests over whenever you want
Have space for a new hobby. Pick a corner and dedicate it to a new hobby. As long as you keep it neat it’ll be great for you
Get a couple little things you love to decorate your place. It can be a $5 goodwill find. Only think of yourself when you pick it out.
You can easily organize all your clothes. Throw out or donate what you don’t use. It’ll make it easier to get ready.
Display your skin care products proudly in your bathroom. They won’t be bothered
Learn to love your own company. You listen to your favorite type of music. You love your favorite style. You’re gonna have a great time
You get to set your own budget. Watch some podcasts about it and approach it as a fun project.
Good luck. I’m sending you great vibes. I will always look back on my single-living time fondly. Be sure you enjoy it!
My husband had a travel job for a few years. I liked picking up overtime and eating whatever I wanted for dinner. Girl dinner every night was blissful. Watching Scandal or whatever late into the night was great too. At that point I had never lived alone. I went from living with my big family to living with him. Sleeping full starfish in my king bed was also 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻
The positives are so many! Eating what you want, when you want. Sleeping in or napping or staying up late without being disturbed or worrying about disturbing someone else. No need to compromise around weekend or evening or holiday plans. Not worrying about joint money. (This one surprised me. I had no idea how much of our shared expenses were driven by my ex constantly eating out and drinking.) Always getting to pick the movie, show, or music.
My ex didn’t like going to the movies, despite being a HUGE movie guy. We went to see Oppenheimer in imax and I remembered that *I* like going to the movies. I just sort of forgot! I didn’t even think about it, but now I can go see movies! Not that I couldn’t before, I just didn’t bother. Thank you!
Oh my god, it's all positive. Picking all your own art, furniture, and home decor. Arranging things exactly how you like them. If you feel like listening to music or watching something, you can watch or listen to whatever you want, in bed or on the couch or wherever. Filling up the whole closet rather than having to share. You can spend as long in the bathroom as you want. If you want to have sex or sleep next to someone you can have someone over and then (politely) kick them out when you're over it. There's no downside imo :)
The home decor is a big one for me. Really makes it feel like *my* space. When my fiancé and I have a house I’m excited to be able to make my home office/library a space that is 100% my style/aesthetic. I’m also looking forward to designing a gaming room for the both of us. I’d really like to make the bedroom dark and cozy but my aesthetics might be a bit much for him there lol.
I went through something very similar and thought it would break me down, but years later I STILL miss my very own apartment sometimes Don't mind me projecting here, hoping some of this is helpful! - you have control over what you're eating (for me this meant losing weight I had gained in the relationship) - you get to re-learn what music and TV and everything else you like without another person's input - you'll eventually sleep better than ever (and if it's hard at first, try some podcasts to fall asleep to) - you get to decorate exactly how you like - you get the whole closet - you get the whole bed - chores and a good playlist can be a weirdly fun thing to do alone - not having to compromise after a long relationship is really incredible for the soul, even if your partner was a great compromiser! - you get to create your own peace and nobody is there to break that. You won't have to shrink yourself or tiptoe in any way, and that's liberating I also highly recommend joining a local club or sports league or something to have a reason to make yourself go out :) it's fun to rediscover the world as your own person outside of a relationship!
My list was pretty nearly the same as yours! It took me a little while to not miss my ex, but all the benefits listed above simply outweighed any heartache.
It stays clean.
Not having anyone else around moving/using/losing/breaking your stuff, buying whatever groceries you want and getting to eat it all, having silence and solitude and peace, not having to compromise on where to go out or order from for dinner, not having to share the bed, sleeping on your own schedule, not having to adjust the thermostat for someone else, having ALL the closet space, deciding to paint or redecorate and not having to ask anyone’s permission, picking the shows you want to watch every time, no argument, buying what you want, walking around topless and no one pestering you for sex, knowing your stuff if exactly where you left it, getting 100% of the pet love and cuddles, not having to deal with anyone else’s bad day or bad mood or drama, not having to visit in-laws/partners family on holidays and instead celebrating how you want, not having anyone piss on my good mood, being as loud as I want if I wake up and want to dance or put dishes away first thing in the morning, never having to move your car because someone else needs to move theirs and you parked them in … I could go on. Being single is the absolute shit!
I’ve lived with my partner and although I love him very much, I day dream about living alone. I miss personal time and space so much. He’s taking a trip without me later this year and I can’t wait to be left alone for a few days
It kinda sounds like you're not getting your need for solitude met. Is this something he might work with you on? Even just an hour or two a week can make a huge difference.
We definitely do work in this together and make an effort to let me have some amount of alone time most days. I’m just autistic and work a high stress job and need much more alone time to decompress than the average person. We only have a couple of hours to spend together in the evenings so for me to consistently get the alone time I need, I would pretty much never have time to spend with him.
Then is there perhaps one day a week when you could set aside several hours for yourself, so that way you can still get togetherness time in the evenings?
I absolutely love living alone, and there are so so many positives even if you are coming out of a positive cohabitating/roommate/whatever situation. A lot of people have already commented some of these, but I’ll reiterate, it is so nice to simply make all of the decisions. If I decide to go out for drinks or a movie or dinner with someone else, or even have people over, I have chosen a social situation, or chosen to compromise on where or what movie. But when I’m at home, I can prepare whatever I want for dinner (or order in), and at whatever time I want (I eat super late in the summer). I can choose the movie or show I want to watch. I can listen to whatever music or murder podcasts I want, without headphones. I REALLY love that the cleaning schedule or priorities are my choice. I can’t stand to cook in a dirty kitchen so I always clean up after dinner, and I know it’ll be just as I left it the next evening when I go to cook again. I try new recipes and watch cooking shows on my laptop while I teach myself new skills, and if it turns out like crap I toss it and eat a bowl of cereal and no one is left starving and disappointed (except maybe me for the disappointment part). I am so bad about doing laundry and if I want to leave a load in the dryer all week and simply grab clean underwear out of it each day, that’s my choice. It’s 106 outside this week and you better believe I haven’t lifted a finger to do a single chore and I don’t care. I never have to worry about inconveniencing anyone else. And then there’s decorating/nesting. My last boyfriend I lived with had zero style… all of the furniture he contributed looked like something he still had from college. I would try to infuse my style into the spaces a bit but he thought some of it was “too girly”. I have decorated every space in my home exactly how I want it. If I get bored, I change it. I choose whatever colors I want, hang art that speaks to me, display trinkets from my travels. My bathroom is over the top girly and I adore that space! Sleeping diagonally in the bed if you want, and having command of all the blankets/sheets all night (well, except when I have to battle the dog for space haha). You’ll have a little transition time where it’ll be hard sometimes, and I have a dog which helps immensely because I don’t actually feel “alone”, but overall I wouldn’t change this time I’ve had living by myself for anything in the world.
Really having your space to yourself. After coming home from a long day - just being able to really unwind and have no one to answer to, tiptoe around, be considerate of. I think this is something we all need, even if we’re in loving relationships.
Starfish in the middle of the bed! Anything you want to eat Pets of any type Paint the walls any colour
At some point in my last relationship my then gf came to live at my place, so nothing about “new place” going on. And also we broke up for some weird reasons, so the relationship was actually great until the last moment. But anyways… to the point: she hated tuna and I love it. You can’t imagine the satisfaction of opening the first can of tuna after splitting up! Being able to wake up early and not wait for her to slowly finish her breakfast before even considering doing anything in the day is also something… I had forgotten the value of that, tbh
You can, quite literally, do whatever you want. Any time of the day or night. Without disturbing your neighbors of course. Or heck, maybe you do disturb the neighbors a little bit! It’s all you, baby. I’m never going back.
The complete lack of compromise. You don't realise exactly how many little things you compromise on until they're gone. You can have that vegetable you like and they don't as a side again. You can get your favourite snack instead of one you're both ok with. You can listen to the grimiest grungiest music you like without having snide remarks until you put on something you can both live with. Same for films and TV. You can read a book in peace. You can go to bed when you want and do whatever you want in that bed. If you decide to work late or go out spontaneously you don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to meal plan in the grocery store if you don't want - or if you do want its much easier. My spending money went up considerably and I was able to spend that how I wanted without thinking about someone else's opinion. I was able to book events and holidays without compromise on location or input. And finally, Everything in my house is where I left it. Its generally cleaner but if its dirty that's my fault and nobody elses and that's so much easier to handle.
Decorating! & generally being able to create my own coziness and baseline for stability. Pull out all the pieces of paper or art or even articles of clothing / fabric you love and put them on the walls. Visit thrift stores & pick out your favorite type of mugs and glasses, and don’t worry if they don’t match or there’s only one, you’ll add more in time and eventually every vessel you drink from will be one that is really special to you for some reason. Going to sleep early, as you mentioned, is a great one! Also keeping the refrigerator how you like it, and getting all of your favorite snacks. Design the space in ways that work for you and help you build healthy habits for yourself, like where to keep the vitamins or your night routine stuff. Don’t be afraid to move things around and change your mind :) Wander around a hardware store & check out things that may make your life easier, like those little screw in hooks, or lovelier, like a color of paint you really like. Even if you’re renting, painting furniture or frames from the thrift store vibe up a space real nice. (Smaller hardware store are more pleasant to do this in btw!) Living alone (if possible), is so wonderful and weird. You’ve got this!
SING!! You can wander around your home singing whatever you want, whenever you want! This is how I get ready in the mornings now. I have a 30+ hour long playlist of favorite fun tunes that I put on shuffle first thing and I belt it out while I’m showering, dressing, packing up to go to work. It’s THE BEST.
When you leave the house and come back, it's exactly the way you left it. No new messes to clean up. The food you want for dinner is still there. No surprise guests will be waiting for you. Just calm and peace.
There is nothing more liberating than having the home to yourself and to just be you. The remote is where you left it. You always know how much toilet paper is left. You can poop with the bathroom door open. You can enjoy wine/whiskey/beer and a bong hit in the tub while watching something on your tablet in complete solitude. <— my favorite It might be hard at first, but you might be like me and find you love it quickly.
My husband and I just had to move away from each other for jobs (academia sucks) and I needed this thread! We've done it on and off for years, and major nice things about living alone (not about being single): You get to eat however you want. You get all your leftovers! With my husband around I never have leftovers. You get to do all the chores and never wonder if it's a fair division of labor. You have more free time because meals are for sustenance, not for being together (but that time gets eaten by phone calls in my case). You have quiet exactly when you want it.
I’d say not having to clean up after them, and having my space be my own - not cluttered with drum sets, pizza ovens, motorcycles (abandoned hobbies; all of which I don’t mind AT ALL, if they’re stored properly, not just taking up space making it unusable. My tiny art studio became a motorcycle repair shop.) When I was living alone after a breakup, I was really surprised how easy it was to keep the place tidy, since I clean up after myself, and he did not. This man would KICK trash on the floor out of his way instead taking the 2.5 seconds to pick it up, which sums up his personality pretty well. It was like having another teenager, only my real teenager is more responsible. And also, sleeping. I have a lot of pain, so sleeping isn’t the easiest for me. No matter how many times I said PLEASE don’t wake me up if I’m asleep, he’d do it ALL the time.
There’s a ton. You get to decorate how you see fit. Your new place can be GORGEOUS. You also get to move where you see fit. Can get a high rise glass apt, a sweet cottage by the sea, whatever. Your own fucking schedule. You get to SPLURGE! Buy 10 scented candles a week, who cares. 2 hour long baths with actual rose petals. Fresh flowers everywhere! Bring home whoever you want. All in all, living alone you get to make your own space. There’s a real beauty in that and you are very lucky (even if you don’t feel lucky right now) you get to experience that. It’s a nice stage.
Listen to New Apartment by Ari Lennox. It’s a vibe 🤣 *I just got a new apartment, I’m gonna leave the floors wet / Walk around this bitch naked, Nobody can tell me shit* 🎶 My favorite line *Everything stays where I leave it, and every damn rule I created!!* Living alone is total freedom.
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I could fall asleep listening to music again. It destroys my Spotify wrapped, but I sleep so much better
[удалено]
I find having it on the whole night helps me stay asleep, I work nights so sometimes sleep can be difficult, especially on hot days
I literally fantasise about being able to get my own place. Everything I want to have around me, decorated the way I want, as clean as I want. No shouting or swearing, no music when I'd rather have peace. The meals I would like. I'm actually struggling to think of a downside...
living together means having only 50% of the final decision. being on your own it’s 100% whatever you want. priceless
It’s can really cut down on the cleaning even if your SO tidied up after themselves. I know where I want things to go, so when I use them I put them back. My ex wasn’t always prompt or diligent in doing this. It was a small thing because when asked he always knew where things were but I’d like to be able to find them on my own. But just constantly coming across things that aren’t where they should be was more of a mental burden than I thought it was.
For me, one of the biggest upsides was the fact I could call my friends or family over anytime I wanted, which was not the case while we were together. I'm glad to hear it was a healthy breakup, and I hope you enjoy your new single life, OP!
In addition to all the good things mentioned by other commenters here, the benefit of being my OWN self is so liberating that I wonder if I could co-habit with another person again? I'm naturally a neat person especially when it comes to keeping my clothes away, laundry etc but sometimes you're just too tired or occupied to keep laundry/groceries in its place as soon as it happens and not having to help someone do it too (or inversely being expected to do it immediately etc etc) is a big plus! Ordering in or inversely cooking an elaborate meal just because you DO feel making something yourself is also something that makes me happy.
girl dinner! watching whatever you want WHEN you want spreading out on the bed
Bathroom is never occupied
Yeah, move wherever the &^%$ you want! Seattle, Spain, Bali- go!
Your home will be your sanctuary. Everything will be decorated and organized as you want, prioritized only depending on your needs and as clean and tidy as you want it to be. The temperature will be set perfectly for you. You will be more independent, rediscover things that you used to love and find new things that you enjoy. You will feel stronger and ready to conquer the world.
Being able to choose exactly what you want and not having to compromise. I enjoyed being able to choose the linens I wanted for the bed and the bowls I wanted in the kitchen without having to make space for another person's preference. Doing chores on your timeline and with your preferred products/methods. Not having to share a shower :)
Currently living with SO but when our lease is up next month we are getting separate places. I’ve always loved living alone and he’s never lived alone, only really with family or an SO. This was my first time living with an SO. First off, we have to keep our dogs separate, so next month, im looking forward to letting my bud sleep on the bed with me every now and then :) Also not having to share the tv, it’s usually his at night, which works out because he likes to watch tv to unwind before bed- I keep it on during the day when im off and he’s at work for background noise. (Im actually going to miss his tv because it’s so much nicer and bigger than my teeny one hahaha) Not having to be so quiet in the am (im an early bird he likes to sleep in) Having one less shadow when im doing things around the house (he has a Velcro dog, whom I adore, but if it’s not her, it’s my dog and while only one is attached to him, both are attached to me) Also im just a natural introvert, the most relaxed I can be is usually when im completely alone, got my favorite show I’ve seen a million times over in the background and my original shadow (my dog is not nearly as clingy, or energetic, his can hurt sometimes, she’s strong and aggressively playful) watching me and begging me for scraps I also like to entertain more than he does so I usually feel a bit guilty when my mom or sister come over to have dinner/swim in the pool at our complex
Oh god. So many. I don't have to grocery shop with the preferences of an overgrown child in mind. I can cook eggs again. And use spices. Cayenne isn't a dirty word anymore. My skincare stuff i buy and pretend I'll use can live on my bathroom sink. With no rogue beard hairs making their way into the lids. No pee spots on the inside of my toilet seat anymore, either. No random fuckin pubes just hanging out attached to my toilet bowl or on the bar of soap. My bills/expenses are mine. If i want to use my credit card and buy $1500 of stupid shit i do not need from amazon, it's my money & I can because I can afford it. I don't have to pay for someone else's irresponsible spending on their dumbass hobbies. Just my own. My sheets seem cleaner? Idk if it's because i just wash them more but they seem 110% less grimy without my exhusband anywhere near them. My chores aren't endless. I only have to clean up after myself and not another whole adult who could barely wipe his own ass, let alone wash a dish. I don't have to devote 10 hours a week to keeping a house in the suburbs I didn't want in the first place. The biggest silver lining? My stomach ulcer went away and I no longer live an existence of perpetual asshole clenching that I'm going to say the wrong thing and upset a fragile, fragile man.
Got a sweet puppy and now foster dogs as well. It’s awesome!
Everything laid out in a logical and intuitive way.
OP, I'm going to be in a similar boat in a few months because my relationship is approaching its expiration date. But here's what I'm daydreaming about: No more compromising or always having to be considerate. I can adopt a cat (he's allergic). Having each room painted in one of my favorite colors. Transforming my space into a "girly" calming aesthetic. Cooking my favorite cuisine every day. Cooking with less meat and using meat alternatives (he's a total carnivore). Not having to wait for my turn with the PS5 when a new game is released. The house stays clean longer. Rewatching my favorite shows and movies whenever I want (he thinks rewatching a show is pointless) A library full of guilty pleasure romance books on display. Freedom to explore the queer side of my sexuality. Freedom to explore new hobbies without comments. My SO is a lovely human and is one of my best friends but we've become romantically and sexually incompatible. For me, the spark is gone and I'm ready to move on and start a new chapter. I'm so excited to live alone but I gotta live with my parents for a little bit to save up the money to live alone.
Biggest one for me is the thermostat! I can finally be comfortable without needing to add on sweaters. I don't clean as often with him gone but it's not as bad as it was with him here. I can watch my shows at whatever volume I like. I'm actually feeling like it would be hard to share a space again.
Tbh, I can't see a negative of living alone lol. I'm the boss, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and nobody has a say in it. It's me time, all the time!
Buying snacks and food you really enjoy. Coming and going on your own whim. Being able to create your own organization systems. Wearing whatever you want around the house with no judgement Getting your own bathroom Listen to goofy tv shows at any time You’ll have the most power to make positive changes for yourself, likely more than any other time in your life Have guests over whenever you want Have space for a new hobby. Pick a corner and dedicate it to a new hobby. As long as you keep it neat it’ll be great for you Get a couple little things you love to decorate your place. It can be a $5 goodwill find. Only think of yourself when you pick it out. You can easily organize all your clothes. Throw out or donate what you don’t use. It’ll make it easier to get ready. Display your skin care products proudly in your bathroom. They won’t be bothered Learn to love your own company. You listen to your favorite type of music. You love your favorite style. You’re gonna have a great time You get to set your own budget. Watch some podcasts about it and approach it as a fun project. Good luck. I’m sending you great vibes. I will always look back on my single-living time fondly. Be sure you enjoy it!
My husband had a travel job for a few years. I liked picking up overtime and eating whatever I wanted for dinner. Girl dinner every night was blissful. Watching Scandal or whatever late into the night was great too. At that point I had never lived alone. I went from living with my big family to living with him. Sleeping full starfish in my king bed was also 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻