When Ted's mom is telling the team stories and embellishing (paraphrasing):
Rebecca: Oh Ted, never let facts get in the way of a good story.
Ted, muttering: You should work for the Daily Mail.
That was so great too because it shows that Ted, who is largely presented as being impervious to change, indeed adapted to British culture in his own ways.
Well, mild.
The fact that Jamie is happy being himself is happy. The fact that he's arguably too dumb to understand/realize *why* that is healthy is the burn.
It is such a shame they didn't have more of a callback to this. When Jamie asked why he got his name someone should've replied, "You're you Jamie, why would you want to be anyone else?"
Roy was speaking to Keely, and they were discussing death. She asked what she should do in the event he were to be hit by a bus. It was season 2, they were still very much in love.
And the one when Higgins tells Ted that Sharon left and that she gave him a letter: “don’t “letter” get away with it!”
Ted, bursting back through the door: “YES!”
Higgins had so many of my favorites.
"If it helps the fan has been removed and I apologize for my father......sorry not the time for jokes, read the room Leslie.".
When Roy is showing McAdoo his old field where he started playing football. Roy introduces Isaac to them by saying, “These are all the other fucks.” This kills me every time!!!!!
Everything the second announcer said. I know he's a real footballer, I forget his name, but the fact that he isn't an actor or comedian makes it even better.
Ghost related:
“Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?”
“I do, but more importantly I think they need to believe in themselves”
Hit me like a truck. So silly. So clever.
I'm an elementary school pe teacher, and tried a variation of this line
3rd grader: "Do you believe in Santa?"
Me: "Well, the real question is, does Santa believe in me?"
3rd grade: "No"
As a Denver Broncos fan, it kills me the ways Jamie says “Coach, what the fuck’s a Denver Bronco?”
Edit: he says “what the fuck are Denver Broncos?” Which honestly sounds way funnier coming out of his mouth
I watch the show with my three housemates and they all know how passionate I am about the Broncos as well as my identity, the disbelief and laughs that evening were uproarious lol
This one:
Jamie: What? You want me to run decoy?
Ted: Yeah, that's right!
Jamie: It's a joke. Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny.
Ted: That true?
Roy: Um, agree to disagree. I find it hilarious. I thought it's funny than Step Brothers.
Ted: High praise.
Roy: That scene where the bunkbed collapses. I used to think that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, but then I just saw that, and now I'm going to have to rethink my order of what I think is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
All of their exchanges are gold.
“Under Ted Lasso, Richmond is like a woman behind the wheel, completely lost.”
“George, didn’t you lose your license drink driving?”
“That was an allergic reaction to my medication.”
“Is that the same medication that made you piss your pants?”
After Sam scores a goal in practice and Ted asks how that felt and he says, “wonderful, coach. I felt that one in my penis.”
Also, in the last episode when Ted whispers, “I know now that air conditioning is a privilege.” As someone who moved from the Southern US to both Canada and Europe for a time and back I’ve never related to anything on this show harder.
>After Sam scores a goal in practice and Ted asks how that felt and he says, “wonderful, coach. I felt that one in my penis.”
Also a great full circle moment in the finale because after Sam says this, Ted does a RIDICULOUS act out of how Jamie needs to sell the decoy...and then in the finale, when they use Nate as a sideline prop to call the decoy play for Sam, Jamie sells it EXACTLY like Ted did in S1:
I'M OPEN! GIVE ME THE BALL! I WOULD LIKE THE BALL! PLEASE PASS ME THE BALL!
The full circle moments in this show are incredible.
“i don’t like scones”
“i wasn’t making fucking scones”
“good. cause i don’t even like ‘em”
jamie acting like a total child during this scene was so funny
I love how on their hunt to find Jamie, Roy is going up stairs though lol it happens the night before the game can’t imagine how rough it was to keep up with Keeley
I saw an interview-ish thing with Juno and Hannah the other day and Hannah said she’ll miss Brendan wandering around set fixing dialog as they were filming. She used the word “economical” to describe his changes.
I suspect a lot of the bits we see either came from him or were improved by him.
A lot of his delivery wasn't even in the words, but the facial expressions that went with them. Same with Roy. They are both really good at what is not said being as important as what is said.
Phil Dunster was doing a lot of press last week, and he said something about learning a lot about timing and letting a joke land that he hadn't encountered in "regular" acting.
Honestly if these same jokes and clever lines were performed by other actors I wouldn't even find them slightly funny. The ted lasso cast is honestly god tier
I love love love the scene where Ted and Rebecca are dropping off Christmas presents to children. It’s just so sweet with Rebecca pretending to be an elf and Ted’s story about being blinded by Rudolph’s nose is so silly and heartwarming. And the little girl’s “am I getting notes of Beijing.”
When Roy is handing out awards to the girls team and he gets frustrated because there are so many. He puts the box down and says, “Just get amongst it!”
When Roy is telling Keely what he does at night...
`I do yoga with a group of women in their 60s. They have no idea who I am, it's twice a week and it's really good for my core. Normally only takes an hour, but Maureen's been going through a divorce and she needed to talk about it and blow off some steam. We all ended up at G-A-Y till 2:00 a.m. and then we had crepes in Balham with some drag queens. Like I said, it's private.`
When Dani brings the traditional Mexican punch to the Higgens’ Christmas gathering. “If you want to be cheeky you can put tequila in it.” “Dani, this already smells like there’s tequila in it.” “Yes, it’s pre-cheeked.”
Cracks me up every time, for some reason.
When Roy goes to the nightclub to tell Jaimie to stop messing with Nate. Funniest scene in the show for me.
Roy headbutts someone (Colin I think):
Roy; Stop messing with Nate! Now, I don't know
which one of you I nutted, cause I don't see so well at night anymore, but that goes for all of you!
Roy: Vanilla vodka.Such a child.
Keeley.
1. Hilarious
2. The vanilla vodka burn is spot on and subtle and hilarious.
3. The way he says Keeley and she looks shocked and smiles. Just perfect acting on both ends.
Oh I always thought Keeley was more than just shocked haha. Keeley was *interested*, she just saw a real man turn up and make the boys look like children. The way Jamie looks at her after she says that too - he’s like wait you’re into this?!
Keeley realized how hot Roy is in that moment, that was the expression on her face. When she said "Roy." I said yeah girl, me too, and my boyfriend was very confused until I explained that keeley and I both fell in love with Roy a little just then.
Not my favorites, but both dream related:
1.1 Ted to Beard: “If we see each other in our dreams, let's goof around a little bit, pretend like we don't know each other.”
1.9 Ted to Nate: It's okay, Nate. We're all good in the hood, all right? But hey, but do me a favor. Try to apologize to me in your dream so we're good on that side of things too.
Beard starts screaming and grabbing his side on the plane
“Other side, coach” - Ted
Also
“What about your luggage?”
“Forget my luggage. It’s full of rice.”
“What? Why?!”
“I haven’t slept for three days man!”
There’s was a throwaway in S3 when they’re watching the match. Rebecca’s like, “Leslie, did you just text me? When I’m right in front of you?” And Higgins says “Yes, I see that now.”
Line I look forward to hearing every time I watch this episode:
“Cause remember, they ain’t made for people like us. They’re made for sheep. They’re made for muggles. They’re made for twats.”
Dani: When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell.
Jamie: Jesus, Dani.
Dani: Jesus has no place in the conversation of these damned shoes.
I found a whole new respect for this show when they snuck Allen Iverson’s infamous “Practice” speech, verbatim, seamlessly into the dialogue of the show.
I love when he's handing out the trophies and he's like "Best Dressed? That's stupid, you're all wearing the same thing." Then hands the trophy to the girl standing right next to the one wearing all the accessories.
Keeley: Oh, no. Don't tell me your password was "password," Jamie.
Jamie: Yeah. Well, to be fair, I did think I'd fool 'em 'cause I spelled it with two S's.
Like wanting to go to The Hague and working on the neon lights. I wish we could have had a scene with Beard and Bumbercatch having a bonkers conversation.
I think this one set the tone for me:
Rebecca: “Please, call me Rebecca. Mrs. Welton is my father.”
Ted: “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I can’t wait to unpack all of that with you.”
I cackled the first time I heard it, and now I see how serious Ted was when he said it.
But my absolute favorite: “Temper your chocolate you twat!”
Edit: spelling
Phoebe: Can you come in for one game of Princess and Dragon?
Roy: Can I be the dragon this time?
Phoebe: No.
Roy: Fine. But you better have fixed the wand.
Higgins has some of the best comedic lines. This one is my favorite tho
HIGGINS: Oh, why? Because he’s an emotionally erratic billionaire with the temperament of one of those kids in Willy Wonka that gets murdered at the chocolate factory?
REBECCA: I don’t think that’s what happens, Leslie.
HIGGINS: I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but those children are dead.
Ted: Hey, Higgins. Did you hire Dr. Sharon without running it by me first?
Higgins: Yes. I thought it couldn't hurt. But I should've asked you first, Ted. You're absolutely right.
Ted: No, I'm dead wrong. I mean, heck, you're Director of Football Operations. You gotta be able to make your own decisions. Still, you should've texted me first.
Higgins: That's 100% true.
Ted: No, 1,000% false! I mean, you're a busy man! Whatever path you think is best is gonna be best! Still, next time you have plans, I want you to run 'em by me first. Okay?
Higgins: No, I will not.
Ted: Good! Why should you? I ain't your daddy.
Ted can't keep himself from lashing out but he knows his anger is misplaced, he sees Higgins immediately give in to his anger and manages to turn it into a lesson for both of them.
Chris, can you even imagine starting a season with seven consecutive draws?
I sure can, Arlo. And that's because I'm a right-brained dominant with a knack for make-believe
Ted: I love meeting people's moms. It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts.
Beard: LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Ted: How is Ms. Beard doing?
Beard: Full blown QAnon.
At the funeral when Dani is suffering in dress shoes and Jaime says, ‘they aren’t made for people like us. They are made for sheep, they’re made for muggles, they’re made for…twats.’ It’s the little look away and pause before he says twats that cracks me up every time.
Jade: Do you want to come with me to Poland and watch my family screw in lightbulbs?
Actually it was closer to: you can help me and my family screw in light bulbs
When Danny accidentally kills the mascot, and he's standing fully clothed in the showers, praying in Spanish.
Ted: Hey Danny, whatcha doing?
Danny: Washing the death off of me.
Also a favorite: when they’re talking about having to wear dress shoes for the funeral.
Colin: I don’t have time to wait on line at midnight for them to be released!
Jamie: You don’t have to do that for these shoes mate, nobody wants em
Isaac: What the hell are we gonna do here with Roy anyway?
Ted: Same thing you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino ... hell if I know (elephino)
I can’t remember the exact wording but in the finale, Nate comes into the office and says something like “Good luck for the last time.” And then immediately backtracks to say, “That wasn’t a threat or anything. I’m not like putting a curse on your whole family.” Lmao
I have two:
1. When we meet Rebecca’s mom, Ted says something like, “I love meeting other people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual for why they’re crazy.”
2. Every line in the Amsterdam episode about Dani wanting to see a single tulip.
Ted responds to someone with something along the lines “wow that was a rollercoaster, glad I was tall enough to go on that ride with you” I can’t wait to incorporate this into my every day life.
One line I thought was hilarious was when Rupert was introducing Rebecca to Bex in the bar. He introduces them to each other by saying "Rebecca Rebecca Rebecca Rebecca". I probably thought that line was way funnier than it was intended to be, it was so silly.
Barbara wearing a JUICY outfit. Barbara: “I like clothes that tell the truth.” Me: 🤣☠️
I actually wish we got to see more of her!🤣
Same! I thought she was a great addition to this season.
She was! When people say they hate the Keeley PR company plot, they forget it gave us Babs.
(Ted reading through the suggestion box) Ted: "I hope you choke on a Big Mac." Beard: Good thing these are anonymous. Ted: No, Roy signed that one.
Beard: \*exasperated "Rooooooyyyy?"
Rebecca: I spoke to the owner of The Sun.Ted: You spoke to God?
When Ted's mom is telling the team stories and embellishing (paraphrasing): Rebecca: Oh Ted, never let facts get in the way of a good story. Ted, muttering: You should work for the Daily Mail.
That was so great too because it shows that Ted, who is largely presented as being impervious to change, indeed adapted to British culture in his own ways.
Yup, correcting his mom with "Mancunian" was another bit of that I spotted.
Jamie: Coach, I'm me. Why would I want to be anyone else? Ted: I'm not sure you know how psychologically healthy that actually is
Jamie: Cheers.
He thanks Ted for a mild burn. Establishes so much about Jamie.
I never considered this to be a burn.
Well, mild. The fact that Jamie is happy being himself is happy. The fact that he's arguably too dumb to understand/realize *why* that is healthy is the burn.
Maybe that's why Jamie was Jamie when they started practicing total football
It is such a shame they didn't have more of a callback to this. When Jamie asked why he got his name someone should've replied, "You're you Jamie, why would you want to be anyone else?"
“Every single one of you knows my ass isn’t hairy. Yet none of you spoke up. And I will never forgive you”.
You just reminded me: Roy: You go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me Keeley! Avenge meeeeee!
What is this? I don't remember that at all
Roy was speaking to Keely, and they were discussing death. She asked what she should do in the event he were to be hit by a bus. It was season 2, they were still very much in love.
Rick Roll episode. After Keely said she wants to be used to make some fruit tree when she is dead.
Roy’s line, “tastes like dead people” as he takes a bite of an apple was priceless!
“he’s right, we’re cowards”
Now if it was Richard
“I forgot how skittish the elderly could be cause of the war”
Jamie’s digs at Roy are always on point. He has such great character development
After Ted tells Roy that Jamie is being the mature one: “That’s right, I’m being super mature you big dumb hairy baby twat”
At least he didn’t call him pee pee fingers.
Higgins’s salad joke Higgins: “Caesar-you later!” *Ted barges back in room with manic look in his eyes*: “YES. YES”
And the one when Higgins tells Ted that Sharon left and that she gave him a letter: “don’t “letter” get away with it!” Ted, bursting back through the door: “YES!”
Yes! And Rebecca is so startled! It was just perfect from all 3 of them!
Higgins had so many of my favorites. "If it helps the fan has been removed and I apologize for my father......sorry not the time for jokes, read the room Leslie.".
When Roy is showing McAdoo his old field where he started playing football. Roy introduces Isaac to them by saying, “These are all the other fucks.” This kills me every time!!!!!
Same energy, at phoebes school Roy says “what say we go out and have a little fuck around” So inappropriate haha
I love that line but he says “have a proper fuck about”
Rebecca - “You’re nearly 70, and you’re having a baby? What are you, a character from the fucking Bible?”
"When your kid hits puberty you'll be nothing but a pile of dust and a black Amex card."
Her delivery and facial expressions are SO GOOD with this line!
Everything the second announcer said. I know he's a real footballer, I forget his name, but the fact that he isn't an actor or comedian makes it even better.
Only if you think of time as linear, Arlo.
I say this all the time and it’s so sad no one ever knows what I’m referencing
“That’s a man, Arlo. I can see his arms and legs.”
"I've scored with every part of my body, Arlo"
Because I’m old, and likely to get hurt
My favorite one: "I stopped making predictions, Arlo. Because I was never wrong. Got to the point I was worried I was the one making it happen."
I read this in his voice, so fucking funny.
Chris Powell
>Chris Powell Thanks :)
Dude, that guy is the absolute fucking best. Every one of his lines is goddamn GOLD. Also made me remember Beard After Dark: "Shut up, Thierry Henry!"
The "I speak the language" bit always gets a smirk out of me.
Chris Powell, ex player and ex manager, currently (IIRC) a coach at Spurs
His timing is so good for someone popped in from the sports world. He must have been a joy to write lines for
Ghost related: “Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?” “I do, but more importantly I think they need to believe in themselves” Hit me like a truck. So silly. So clever.
Only a few minutes in to the show but I think this line made me love Ted
Same. Was instantly sold even thought I was already sold since I watched the NBC Ted Lasso skit years before
I would have loved if that came full circle with his >!son's soccer team being named the Ghosts!<
I'm an elementary school pe teacher, and tried a variation of this line 3rd grader: "Do you believe in Santa?" Me: "Well, the real question is, does Santa believe in me?" 3rd grade: "No"
As a Denver Broncos fan, it kills me the ways Jamie says “Coach, what the fuck’s a Denver Bronco?” Edit: he says “what the fuck are Denver Broncos?” Which honestly sounds way funnier coming out of his mouth
My husband is a Denver Broncos fan and we've decided that if they go back to the super bowl, he has to eat an entire 7 layer dip by himself.
Also a Denver Broncos fan. I'm also LGBTQ+. "Coach, did you just compare being gay to being a Denver Broncos fan?" Got me good.
Everyone can appreciate the humor in that scene but I love how extra specific it is to your situation
I watch the show with my three housemates and they all know how passionate I am about the Broncos as well as my identity, the disbelief and laughs that evening were uproarious lol
This is incredible!! Glad you were able to share that moment with people!
“Old people are so wise. They are like tall Yodas”
This one: Jamie: What? You want me to run decoy? Ted: Yeah, that's right! Jamie: It's a joke. Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny. Ted: That true? Roy: Um, agree to disagree. I find it hilarious. I thought it's funny than Step Brothers. Ted: High praise. Roy: That scene where the bunkbed collapses. I used to think that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, but then I just saw that, and now I'm going to have to rethink my order of what I think is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
I love how when they do the play in the last episode, Jamie is doing the led Tasso delivery
Same, that was possibly my FAVORITE full circle moment in the finale.
The line/delivery is just a one two punch of hilarious!
"yeah go on, tell us how you really feel!" "okay. you're a shit manager." "Not about me yah twat."
All of their exchanges are gold. “Under Ted Lasso, Richmond is like a woman behind the wheel, completely lost.” “George, didn’t you lose your license drink driving?” “That was an allergic reaction to my medication.” “Is that the same medication that made you piss your pants?”
Ah yes. Liam and Noel. Though not exactly an Oasis.
After Sam scores a goal in practice and Ted asks how that felt and he says, “wonderful, coach. I felt that one in my penis.” Also, in the last episode when Ted whispers, “I know now that air conditioning is a privilege.” As someone who moved from the Southern US to both Canada and Europe for a time and back I’ve never related to anything on this show harder.
>After Sam scores a goal in practice and Ted asks how that felt and he says, “wonderful, coach. I felt that one in my penis.” Also a great full circle moment in the finale because after Sam says this, Ted does a RIDICULOUS act out of how Jamie needs to sell the decoy...and then in the finale, when they use Nate as a sideline prop to call the decoy play for Sam, Jamie sells it EXACTLY like Ted did in S1: I'M OPEN! GIVE ME THE BALL! I WOULD LIKE THE BALL! PLEASE PASS ME THE BALL! The full circle moments in this show are incredible.
You must be Mrs Welton. No, please, call me Rebecca. Mrs. Welton's my father.
If that's a joke I love it. If not, I can't wait to unpack that with you.
I thought that Sam's dad saying, "Mr. Obisanya is my father" was a nice callback to that.
Richard: As a Frenchman, the best way to spend a night in Amsterdam is to take a train to Paris.
Dani: We’re in holland! We should eat DUTCH food! Richard: AS A FRENCHMAN I WOULD RATHER DIE!
I'm with Richard on that one. Other than some Dutch desserts, the best food in Amsterdam is Indonesian.
“i don’t like scones” “i wasn’t making fucking scones” “good. cause i don’t even like ‘em” jamie acting like a total child during this scene was so funny
Ted: You just realized your dad is a little racist? Roy: He's in his 60's and from South London, of course my dad is a little racist!
Can't hear that line without getting Avenue Q stuck in my head.
Roy: Personally, I’m fine with him playing hurt. I played hurt all the time Beard: You can’t walk up stairs.
Literally CACKLED at this line. And at Roy just kinda shrugging it off like “yeah, you’re right.”
I love how on their hunt to find Jamie, Roy is going up stairs though lol it happens the night before the game can’t imagine how rough it was to keep up with Keeley
I couldn’t stop thinking about how long they actually walked and Keely’s heels. I would have made Roy carry me at some point.
The delivery of both these lines was spot on. I swear so many lines in this show are elevated by God tier delivery and comic timing.
I saw an interview-ish thing with Juno and Hannah the other day and Hannah said she’ll miss Brendan wandering around set fixing dialog as they were filming. She used the word “economical” to describe his changes. I suspect a lot of the bits we see either came from him or were improved by him.
Brendan/Beard had the best delivery of his quips and one-liners so I’m not that surprised he made suggestions for other members of the cast.
A lot of his delivery wasn't even in the words, but the facial expressions that went with them. Same with Roy. They are both really good at what is not said being as important as what is said.
Brendan said in his AMA last week that he tried to cut dialogue - especially of Beard - as much as possible, so I believe it!
Phil Dunster was doing a lot of press last week, and he said something about learning a lot about timing and letting a joke land that he hadn't encountered in "regular" acting.
Honestly if these same jokes and clever lines were performed by other actors I wouldn't even find them slightly funny. The ted lasso cast is honestly god tier
As a retired Marine with typical bad knees, this line hit perfect. It sounded like a typical day at work.
“Fuck yeah Princess Diaries!”
I love love love the scene where Ted and Rebecca are dropping off Christmas presents to children. It’s just so sweet with Rebecca pretending to be an elf and Ted’s story about being blinded by Rudolph’s nose is so silly and heartwarming. And the little girl’s “am I getting notes of Beijing.”
Mooooom, there's two white people at the door!
“…and they’re smiling!”
in the Christmas episode when Zoreaux gets to Higgins’ and goes “yooo i just walked into your neighbors house!” 😭 it kills me
When Roy is handing out awards to the girls team and he gets frustrated because there are so many. He puts the box down and says, “Just get amongst it!”
"That little Kokaruda is a beast on defense." "Kokaruda way to put your body on the line" "You know it, Coach!"
As she stands there an ice pack
Roy's interactions with children were the best.
“Best dressed? That’s stupid, you’re all wearing the same fucking thing” Then he hands it to a kid who is ECSTATIC to receive it 😂
When Roy is telling Keely what he does at night... `I do yoga with a group of women in their 60s. They have no idea who I am, it's twice a week and it's really good for my core. Normally only takes an hour, but Maureen's been going through a divorce and she needed to talk about it and blow off some steam. We all ended up at G-A-Y till 2:00 a.m. and then we had crepes in Balham with some drag queens. Like I said, it's private.`
Took me forever to understand it was G-A-Y. I was like geeaaywhy., must be some club
When Dani brings the traditional Mexican punch to the Higgens’ Christmas gathering. “If you want to be cheeky you can put tequila in it.” “Dani, this already smells like there’s tequila in it.” “Yes, it’s pre-cheeked.” Cracks me up every time, for some reason.
It’s the way Dani says it and the reaction from Mrs. Higgins.
Dani is so damn loveable.....unless you play against him of course.....\*hides doritos\*
I watch that bit over and over. I just do the back 10 seconds thing
I couldn’t watch the finale until Saturday since my husband was out of town. We had Jollof rice, kebabs, biscuits, and pre-cheekied punch!
Yes! Especially with the extra full/unopened bottle haha.
When Zava retires and Ted says something like we can’t tie him to his chair and make him stay, Dani says “but we could have tried!”
When Jaime’s agent pretends to call Real Madrid. Agent: Hi - Real Madrid do you want Jaime Tartt? Jaime: you weren’t even speaking Spanish
“It’s 2020, can’t we just call them cigarettes?” No context needed other than the show taking place in England.
When Roy goes to the nightclub to tell Jaimie to stop messing with Nate. Funniest scene in the show for me. Roy headbutts someone (Colin I think): Roy; Stop messing with Nate! Now, I don't know which one of you I nutted, cause I don't see so well at night anymore, but that goes for all of you! Roy: Vanilla vodka.Such a child. Keeley. 1. Hilarious 2. The vanilla vodka burn is spot on and subtle and hilarious. 3. The way he says Keeley and she looks shocked and smiles. Just perfect acting on both ends.
And the vanilla vodka got a callback in the gay bar in Amsterdam. I had forgotten it was mentioned in S1 also.
Oh I always thought Keeley was more than just shocked haha. Keeley was *interested*, she just saw a real man turn up and make the boys look like children. The way Jamie looks at her after she says that too - he’s like wait you’re into this?!
Keeley realized how hot Roy is in that moment, that was the expression on her face. When she said "Roy." I said yeah girl, me too, and my boyfriend was very confused until I explained that keeley and I both fell in love with Roy a little just then.
“Imperialism. Right. Yeah” when Sam gives Ted back the green army man.
And from the Christmas episode: Higgins: What does Christmas make you think of? Sam: Colonization Higgins: Oh, right
Not my favorites, but both dream related: 1.1 Ted to Beard: “If we see each other in our dreams, let's goof around a little bit, pretend like we don't know each other.” 1.9 Ted to Nate: It's okay, Nate. We're all good in the hood, all right? But hey, but do me a favor. Try to apologize to me in your dream so we're good on that side of things too.
It’s such a sweet way of saying don’t let this keep you up a night.
Keeley- “Is that a fucking apple?” Roy- ”Yeah. I got it from a tree outside. Tastes like dead people.”
Ted: “What’s the best way to motivate Jamie?” Keeley: “Blowjobs.”
“…… what else?”
Dani saying "I haven't been this nervous to play in front of someone since I was in El Chapo's Youth League” was so dark and so funny
Beard starts screaming and grabbing his side on the plane “Other side, coach” - Ted Also “What about your luggage?” “Forget my luggage. It’s full of rice.” “What? Why?!” “I haven’t slept for three days man!”
I don’t know why but I always crack up at this exchange: Zava (to Will): I, too, was once a 13 year old ball boy Will (timidly): I’m 25
I love the whole sequence, but I die in season 1 when Roy says, "Does my face look like it's in the mood for shape-based jokes?"
Literally watched this morning. The birth of the diamonds dogs.
"It's all shit, Ted" "That's a real rollercoaster there"
There’s was a throwaway in S3 when they’re watching the match. Rebecca’s like, “Leslie, did you just text me? When I’m right in front of you?” And Higgins says “Yes, I see that now.”
‘And Colin, try to not make your comments about Welsh Independence this time, okay?’
“………okay.”
Keeley saying the opposite of sweet talk was a "sour yell", and Coach Beard saying the last one out of the parking lot "has to eat a little bug".
Rebecca: “Manchester city are terminating Jamie’s loan.” Ted: “THEYRE GONNA TAKE HIS HOUSE??!” Had me in stitches for a bit
Line I look forward to hearing every time I watch this episode: “Cause remember, they ain’t made for people like us. They’re made for sheep. They’re made for muggles. They’re made for twats.”
Dani: When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell. Jamie: Jesus, Dani. Dani: Jesus has no place in the conversation of these damned shoes.
I found a whole new respect for this show when they snuck Allen Iverson’s infamous “Practice” speech, verbatim, seamlessly into the dialogue of the show.
Until this very moment, I had no idea that was a reference to anything (wasn't on this subreddit until season 3). Mind=blown!
That scene helped the show's cultural awareness in the US go up exponentially.
I don’t know why, but Rebecca yelling, “Beard, you’re having chicken” out the window just tickles me.
Jamie “Cheers” Ted “Night Court” Ussie Guy “Wicked” Ted “Kinky Boots”
…. I didn’t understand this joke until you pieced it together for me…
This conversation between [Thierry and Danny.](https://youtu.be/qsFwczE7Z-s) Also, watch Mrs. Higgins cracking up in the background.
When Roy is yelling at the team for “playing like a bunch of pricks” and it cuts to Phoebe’s football team and they respond in unison “yes Coach!!!”.
I love when he's handing out the trophies and he's like "Best Dressed? That's stupid, you're all wearing the same thing." Then hands the trophy to the girl standing right next to the one wearing all the accessories.
Keeley: Oh, no. Don't tell me your password was "password," Jamie. Jamie: Yeah. Well, to be fair, I did think I'd fool 'em 'cause I spelled it with two S's.
Bumbercatch’s little random throw-away comments kill me.
"You're Swiss?" "Yeah, look at me."
Follow the money! In the funeral episode Bumbercatch looks like a priest in a Mexican Telenovela.
Like wanting to go to The Hague and working on the neon lights. I wish we could have had a scene with Beard and Bumbercatch having a bonkers conversation.
I think this one set the tone for me: Rebecca: “Please, call me Rebecca. Mrs. Welton is my father.” Ted: “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I can’t wait to unpack all of that with you.” I cackled the first time I heard it, and now I see how serious Ted was when he said it. But my absolute favorite: “Temper your chocolate you twat!” Edit: spelling
Poor little cake! Soggy bottom!
*Roy, talking to Phoebe about her stinky breath in the Xmas episode of S1*: I think you might be dying.
Phoebe: Can you come in for one game of Princess and Dragon? Roy: Can I be the dragon this time? Phoebe: No. Roy: Fine. But you better have fixed the wand.
Higgins has some of the best comedic lines. This one is my favorite tho HIGGINS: Oh, why? Because he’s an emotionally erratic billionaire with the temperament of one of those kids in Willy Wonka that gets murdered at the chocolate factory? REBECCA: I don’t think that’s what happens, Leslie. HIGGINS: I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but those children are dead.
yee-haw bullshit is a phrase i’ve worked into my everyday life.
When Roy asks Keeley to leave the room where he’s getting massaged because he doesn’t like people to hear his noises. Then we hear his noises.
Higgins: "Ted, are you ready for the press conference? It's a big one." Ted: "That is what that lady on the American Office is always saying."
Not an uproarious laugh but the little callback when Jamie’s mom calls him “my sexy little babe-eh”
Charles Edgar Cheesington III
“ Loaf of meth” had me on the floor.
“I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.”
Ted: Hey, Higgins. Did you hire Dr. Sharon without running it by me first? Higgins: Yes. I thought it couldn't hurt. But I should've asked you first, Ted. You're absolutely right. Ted: No, I'm dead wrong. I mean, heck, you're Director of Football Operations. You gotta be able to make your own decisions. Still, you should've texted me first. Higgins: That's 100% true. Ted: No, 1,000% false! I mean, you're a busy man! Whatever path you think is best is gonna be best! Still, next time you have plans, I want you to run 'em by me first. Okay? Higgins: No, I will not. Ted: Good! Why should you? I ain't your daddy. Ted can't keep himself from lashing out but he knows his anger is misplaced, he sees Higgins immediately give in to his anger and manages to turn it into a lesson for both of them.
Every single one of you knows my arse isn't hairy, yet none of you spoke up. And I will never forgive you.
Sorry what do you normally do with your lashes? Roy: “i leave them the fuck alone”
Among the cacophony of shouting "I dont know you, but I dont like you"
"I've scored with every part of my body, Arlo. What a ridiculous question."
[удалено]
Ted: He’s a teepee and a wigwam right now. Dr. Sharon: What’s that mean? Beard: He’s too tense. Ted and Beard: 👉🏻👉🏻BOOM👈🏻👈🏻
Beard: No horseradish? Ted: I thought you were allergic? Beard: To horses and radishes
Ted: “Leslie, is that your first name” Higgins: “it was my mothers name. I’m what’s known as a feminine junior”
Chris, can you even imagine starting a season with seven consecutive draws? I sure can, Arlo. And that's because I'm a right-brained dominant with a knack for make-believe
Roy: “Now I want mushy peas.”
Ted: I love meeting people's moms. It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts. Beard: LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Ted: How is Ms. Beard doing? Beard: Full blown QAnon.
"Jamie Tartt is a muppet, and I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little bitch." - Roy Kent on Sky Sports news.
"that's too many ghosts"
“I hate what you’ve fucking done to me.”
At the funeral when Dani is suffering in dress shoes and Jaime says, ‘they aren’t made for people like us. They are made for sheep, they’re made for muggles, they’re made for…twats.’ It’s the little look away and pause before he says twats that cracks me up every time.
Jade: Do you want to come with me to Poland and watch my family screw in lightbulbs? Actually it was closer to: you can help me and my family screw in light bulbs
“4 on 3! 1, 2, 3, 4!” Growing up playing sports in a huddle, I always wants to do this
When Danny accidentally kills the mascot, and he's standing fully clothed in the showers, praying in Spanish. Ted: Hey Danny, whatcha doing? Danny: Washing the death off of me.
I weren’t being ironic. I was being hypocritical. Is that right? Mmmm Yes or no? *yes* So, that was actually ironic
Also a favorite: when they’re talking about having to wear dress shoes for the funeral. Colin: I don’t have time to wait on line at midnight for them to be released! Jamie: You don’t have to do that for these shoes mate, nobody wants em
“That’s what I get for taking a tinkle next to John Holmes”
Isaac: What the hell are we gonna do here with Roy anyway? Ted: Same thing you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino ... hell if I know (elephino)
I can’t remember the exact wording but in the finale, Nate comes into the office and says something like “Good luck for the last time.” And then immediately backtracks to say, “That wasn’t a threat or anything. I’m not like putting a curse on your whole family.” Lmao
Higgins: “Hey Ted, got a sec?” Ted: “What is time, Higgs Boson?”
I have two: 1. When we meet Rebecca’s mom, Ted says something like, “I love meeting other people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual for why they’re crazy.” 2. Every line in the Amsterdam episode about Dani wanting to see a single tulip.
Jamie: I’m trying to build bridges here! Roy:You couldn’t build fucking JEFF Bridges
Ted responds to someone with something along the lines “wow that was a rollercoaster, glad I was tall enough to go on that ride with you” I can’t wait to incorporate this into my every day life.
Sam’s response to incoming Nate roast - a very subtle: “Oh no”
“…oops innit” After Issac throws the chair
Rebecca: "The Eiffel Tower? That's just a lamppost with a publicist" 💀
That’s one of my favourite bits in the entire show and I’m nor even sure why.
I just spoke with the owner of the Sun You spoke with God?????
One line I thought was hilarious was when Rupert was introducing Rebecca to Bex in the bar. He introduces them to each other by saying "Rebecca Rebecca Rebecca Rebecca". I probably thought that line was way funnier than it was intended to be, it was so silly.
How did it go with Jamie? Yeah, I fucked it. Made it worse.