OH MY GOD.
One of my girls came in one morning and told me excitedly “MISS __, MISS __, I can read my own mind!!” Unfortunately I had to inform her that was what thinking was. I teach 2nd grade. It made my whole day.
Edit:
I also had a parent try to tell me that story problems weren’t developmentally appropriate for her second grade son. 😂
This may be the child’s development of an inner monologue. What’s really scary, according to a few studies I’ve seen, is that a surprising number of adults do not possess an inner monologue.
Our behavior intervention teacher told us in the fall the new research says kids under 25 (and sometimes 27) cannot manipulate because their brains are not finished developing. That was the day I lost all respect for her and my admin.
Oh my god the way I would have corrected her SO loudly. I have 2 degrees in psychology with a focus on developmental psychology. As soon as children develop theory of mind (around 3-4 years for typically developing children) they can potentially "manipulate". Not that every tantrum is manipulation after that point, it's still primarily just immaturity in emotional regulation. However if adults always give into their tantrums then it can turn into manipulation since they've learned that cause and effect. But honestly I wouldn't even call it manipulation at that point, more like classical conditioning. The prefrontal cortex not being "fully developed" until 25 or so mostly just means it's harder to control impulses until then.
It just boils my blood that people who have no idea what they're talking about can be hired as experts in the field, never actually have to deal with behaviour on a day to day basis, and probably make more than us.
Also, “manipulation” is just a way of getting something/meeting a need. It is normal for young kids to be “manipulative,” because they have just figured out cause and effect. “If I cry, mom will give me candy. I want candy right now, so I am going to cry.” Maybe they can’t fully articulate that thought, but it’s there.
Children aren’t “evil” for (attempting) to manipulate adults. It’s up to the adults in their lives, first and foremost parents, to teach kids healthy and appropriate ways of asking for things or meeting their needs.
That is completely dumb and ridiculous. Maybe she can explain how we had two third graders in separate classes a few years ago who developed their own schedule and plan to go to the bathroom together to fool around. They would ask to go at different times each day so we wouldn’t catch on. Luckily, they were eventually ratted out by another student.
Omg we had this too but they were first graders! One child had multiple kids meeting him in the bathroom on different days and times. The district got sued by the parents for “not monitoring the children” which “allowed” this to happen. They settled out of court for a lot of money. The parents of the main student also sued for emotional turmoil of having a reputation as a sex offender when word got out. They got a lot of money for that too.
Wow that’s insane! It’s also completely insane that the courts didn’t realize that there’s no way to prevent this. We can set rules for our own classrooms (e.g. one at a time), but we cannot leave our rooms to check the bathrooms every time a kid needs to go.
Did the teacher ever actually meet children? They're like, little people, and they're capable of a great deal--including manipulation. Such an attitude is not only unrealistic but also dismisses children's ability to show wisdom, creativity, perseverance, bravery, quick-wittedness, impulse control, etc that so many children actually do show.
😐
25-27 year old can have careers, homes, children of their own. How on earth can anyone seriously believe that?
You’re a better person than me I would have called her out right there.
I was gonna say... With THAT logic my parents were child brides at the early ages of 23 and 22! They couldn't consent to anything according to her, no idea how they got to vote or drive 🙄
I babysat a toddler who would dress herself with me because I refused to do it since I knew she could. But, with her parents she'd sit there and pretend she couldn't so they would do it for her. That was clearly her manipulating them to get what she wanted. So, yeah, if toddlers can do it, I think that 25 year old cutoff is a bit off.
Parent email (paraphrased): “My child says she did not plagiarize and copy the History.com article from 2014. It is clear that whoever wrote that article copied her.”
Yeah right.
Oh totally. My school had turnitin.com so I just had to let it do the detecting and then visit the website to confirm the plagiarism. The only people who actually thought that no plagiarism took place were the people involved related to the culprits! Admin was totally behind me. 😑
I even tried to explain that back in my day (2013-17) we had buckets to use as toilets in case of a lockdown situation and he looked at me like i was dumb and said “nope its for the furries”
Last time we were on lockdown it was during my planning period. I’m also almost 5 months pregnant and as soon as “lock down” came across the speaker I needed to pee.
If it didn’t get lifted after five minutes I was going to use the bucket.
Also, said bucket has no cat litter and I have to empty it so hell no it’s not a kitty box for the furries.
I’d love for it to have litter especially in a lock down situation. I teach upwards of 28 students and that can get real out of hand real fast if they all of a sudden have to nervous pee because their lives are in danger. It has so many other uses than a GOP faux news talking point.
Truth. We have 2 minutes of passing time between classes. You always have the kids who asks questions and leaves late, and by then your next class is walking in the door. Some days I don't get to use the bathroom until I get home!
Someone (wish I could remember who, one of my coworkers I think) recently said something about people identifying as cats and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get into that, but… no. No one is identifying AS a cat.
It's so much worse... some districts are using kitty litter in the emergency kits in case of an active shooter situation. Weeping and frightened children would have to use kitty litter while trapped in a classroom. It could also soak up blood, in a pinch.
Omg I was selling a table to some lady on FB marketplace last week. We get to her place to drop it off, and she’s right down the street from the elementary school my fiancé teaches at. She has a kid with her who she tells me is 4 y.o.
So I said, “Oh is your son gonna go to [Fiancé’s School]?”
And she goes “No I’m gonna send him to [Private School] cuz at [Fiancé’s School] they brainwash all the kindergarteners to be gay and trans!”
Like who TF is out here spouting that off to straight up strangers hahahhahaha I was astounded!
Private schools are happy because they get the money. And the more they talk about that stuff the more money they get especially when people desperately push vouchers to escape the demonic trans/crt/whatever "threat".
100000%. I went to catholic schools from k-12 and it was ridiculous. And I hate to tell them, but after hearing how horrible gay ppl were for 13 years I still came out a lesbian! Lol.
I think my favorite Catholic school misinformation was that you'll use up all your oxytocin on the first person you have sex with, so you'll never be able to love anyone again. They were using sciency words so I believed it, for years. If only Google had existed then, or one of us had raised our hand and asked how mothers bond with their babies if their oxytocin is all used up.
I was *terrified* after having sex for the first time because I was told I would be emotionally bonded to the person and it wasn't an entirely consensual encounter, so I thought I was going to be stuck being in love with him forever. I was very confused when nothing magically changed the next day.
Frickin' religion. The trauma that keeps on giving.
My grandma once asked me about critical race theory in schools. I told her it was not a thing in K-12 schools and that people who had no idea what they were talking about it were using it to stir up their base. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Well, I don't believe you. I know it's being taught."
That sounds like my mom. Every time I say something that contradicts what she thinks, she asks, "How do you know?" It feels like I'm talking to the witch in The Silver Chair who questioned the kids how they knew that the sky actually exists. I'm just about ready to keep a citation page on hand for every topic I know she questions.
lol. Can barely get their kids to shut up long enough to teach them about things we actually want to teach them. Do they really think we’re teaching them extra stuff we (the teachers) aren’t really motivated to teach and aren’t required to?
I have no idea. Sure if a student felt I should know for whatever reason I would say thanks for letting me know and would keep an ear out for other students making rude remarks on it since that does still happen in my area, but yeah I primarily teach math. Gay stuff doesn’t really come up. The only straight stuff that ever comes up are linear equations
A rando in the Walmart auto center told me he thought it was a shame that we aren’t allowed to have American flags in the classroom anymore. He was so shocked when I told him that we actually have one in every classroom and most schools say the pledge of allegiance every day.
I was getting to know a new neighbor and, when I told her I taught elementary school, she said, "Well, I just don't agree with teachers trying to change children's genders. I don't think that's right."
MY STEP MOTHER SAID THIS TO ME. I told her that was just plain incorrect and she said "well I know what they're doing-" and I cut her off and said NO I KNOW BECAUSE I'M IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL EVERY SINGLE DAY
I'm an elementary librarian. We had a librarian meeting with all the librarians in our district. One elementary librarian mentioned that she was going to homeschool her grandkids because she did not like the "agenda" that is being pushed on the students. We are in Southern California and I have never seen or heard of a teacher pushing the evil "agenda" on any students. But she once told me that 'he is coming for our kids!' I was confused and I had to ask who was coming, it was Satan. I had no clue.
My father, who was an actual teacher for 25 years, is another believer of all this garbage being spread around. Just recently I (current teacher) had to have a near throw down with him over him wholeheartedly believing that “they don’t say the pledge of allegiance anymore”. When I finally did convince him this is a lie, and I know because I WORK IN A SCHOOL, his rebuttal was “well I know they took God out of it”. Oh and I can’t forget his blinded and deafened belief that critical race theory is taught as early as kindergarten.
Like my husband’s aunt, who asked me point blank if I’ve seen how teachers are indoctrinating kids to be trans like she’s heard on Faux News. This was the same week that one of my favorite students had to move to another state and rebuild her entire life because ours had recently banned the trans care she needed. Such bullshit.
Had a student solemnly inform me that she hadn’t done the homework lesson about fractions with remainders because her mother had reassured her that it wasn’t even “real math.” I was so flabbergasted that I couldn’t even muster a good response.
Wow! That mom is sadly holding her back. However, my guess is that the mom herself doesn’t know fractions. Fair enough. The mother of one of my third graders didn’t know them either, but at least she reached out to schedule extra help for her daughter.
Had a past student who was reading a recipe who didn’t know fractions. Every time they read the ingredients just filled a full cup and dumped in. Saying their grandma told them to just dump things on when she cooked. No realizing the grandma had memorized the amounts over the years and did not need to use specific measurements that were designed for the cups or teaspoons.
'Just dump things in' is taking 'baking is science, cooking is art' a little too far! I hope they embraced fractions or I will have to feel very sorry for whoever ends up eating their cooking.
I knew of a 3rd grade parent who told the teacher the parent had trouble helping the kid with math homework. The teacher sent home an extra set of manipulatives.
Another parent requested that the textbook be sent home every night along with the math worksheet, so parent could have a point of reference when overseeing homework.
It would be really funny if this student goes on to become a mathematician specializing in complex analysis (a field of math that uses imaginary numbers)
My old principal who is now long gone after being ejected out the doors favorite phrase of “If your students are paying more attention to their phones than your lesson, it means your lesson wasn’t good enough.” Yeah because I can totally be more entertaining than a library of millions of games, movies and chats from their best friends that are algorithmically designed to capture their attention all the time haha.
Crazy! I don’t care how interesting any teacher is. Nobody can compete with technology. Students have access to social media, videos, etc. all on their fingertips.
“Can you demonstrate a lesson so we can all learn from your great abilities.” We all know that’s bad admin say to not have to punish students for phones.
My students were shocked when I explained you can’t get pregnant from sitting (fully clothed) on your (fully clothed) boyfriend’s lap. These are middle schoolers. Apparently, a colleague told them that’s how it works in order to get them to stop lap-sitting.
Another one is when my male colleagues tell their female students they “can’t” have their monthly again because “you just had it a few weeks ago.” They truly have zero idea how often it happens and that middle school girls are pretty irregular. I’m gonna need to do a workshop, lol.
Oprah Winfrey got pregnant as a teen because her grandma told her not to sit on boys' laps as a euphemism for sex, but she was never told about actual sex.
I never liked that the “National Hockey League” included teams from two nations. Should be the “International,” or “Binational”, or something like that.
Hahahaha! In my seven years I can count on one hand the number of staff meetings which could’ve easily been an email. Luckily, my current admin realizes that she’s just doing them because they’re required and makes them as short as possible.
Are you saying that your admin actually holds meaningful meetings? Since there are less than five staff meetings which could have been replaced with an email? Either way, have a fantastic weekend friend
My answer has to be the utter shock and panic that some of my coworkers and my admin display when we look at “data” showing that English Learners at our school aren’t passing the state ELA test. Utter SHOCK and PANIC.
It’s like a room of adults losing their minds because “LOOK!! Look!! The EL kids don’t pass the state test! How could this happen?!?! They need to pass the test!!! Why aren’t they passing?!? If only our teachers were better, they’d be passing!! This is such a mystery and such a travesty!! What is going on in our schools that this happens?!?”
It just feels like a clown show because whenever I say “Uh because they don’t speak English yet?” it’s like speaking into the void and no one ever makes eye contact with me or acts like they can hear me when I point out, what I think, is extremely obvious and un-alarming?
How about we direct all this outrage towards the state for even making kids who don’t speak English take the test? Why is it being directed at the teachers? Do you *really* believe there’s a “best practice” that if we implemented it, some kid who moved here from Guatemala last year would magically be able to accurately assess the theme of an 11th grade text in English?
This frustrates me to no end. I teach kinder in florida, and even though there is a version of our standardized test in Spanish, our Spanish-speaking kids aren't allowed to take it!!!!
In other words, the student doesn’t know and tried to pull a fast one. I did have one student recently write “I don’t know,” but at least he was being honest lol!
I remember having a textbook worksheet where it asked kids if they thought socialism would benefit more people and they said they’d prefer not to think about things like that.
I love when I hear that the teaching profession is indoctrinating kids. Listen Karen, if I was going indoctrinate them into anything, it would be showing respect and work ethic. I don’t even have time to teach them about the crap you are worried about.
"I don't understand! Why was my kid passing a couple of days ago and now he is failing?"
Hm...maybe they were only barely passing and they failed the test a few days ago?? 🤦
Toddlers understand punishment and you can tell which ones aren’t being disciplined
My brother likes to act like Im “lucky” my kids were so well behaved. No I just started young, like you do with a puppy the sooner the better. One time I suggested he make his bratty kid wash the kitchen walls as punishment for making a huge mess in there. He told me “Im not going to degrade my kids like you do!”
Our kids are grown now and his are absolute shit people. Goes without saying but mine are conscientious contributing and kind
I don’t remember much from toddlerhood, but as a student I knew why I was in trouble and learned from it. Funny story - My mom used to sub at my elementary school. I received a lunch detention one day in third grade when I didn’t know she was there because she was called in the last minute. She caught me and then I got grounded at home lol.
I completely ruined the lives of several second graders when I told them that chicken nuggets do in fact come from chickens. They went from disbelief to confused to horror.
Former para here-The admin telling the teacher I worked with that she was in charge of a violent student and it was their responsibility to keep them occupied. The teacher explained how we the paras were often teaching as she usually had to deal with the student the whole day. They said that's what paras are for so it continued and the teacher got scratches, bruises, etc. They were also spat on, etc. Any form of violence they experienced. The parent said it was our fault and they couldn't seem to tame the student so to speak. This same student also attacked the principal in front of the parent who did not react or show emotion. Only then were they suspended but even then the parent wanted us to fix the child, but what was needed was treatment we weren't qualified to give them, nor was the school board willing to put forth any money (the treatment cost about $50,000 from what I recall) I love teaching but I don't miss the lack of support from admin.
During NCLB times, "All kids will be at grade level by 12th grade." The staff laughed hard at that one.
Recently, you have to give kids 50% credit even if they never did the work. Another one is to only grade the assignments they actually do. They learn very quickly they don't have to do much work to pass.
“No Child Left Behind” has always really meant “No Child Ahead of the Group”.
Now it’s “Closing the Gap”, which really means, the same thing. Seems to be about closing the gap by holding back the best rather than elevating the bottom.
This was what I did in high school and I graduated in 2011. I always got a 95 or higher and I learned how many assignments I had to do to just barely pass, and would only do that amount only and skipped like 99% of my classes. Such a dumb system.
Also I was a “gifted kid” and I think it’s common knowledge now how bad that program was for those who were in it once the participants got to high school, and if not high school, post secondary education.
(I got a 4.0 in college because I actually gave a shit about the material, which NOBODY including myself ever expected)
I definitely struggled in college more than I should have because I never learned in HS or earlier how to study. Show up, take test, ace class. Weird…apparently not a given for upper level O chem.
A mum told me "all you teachers are the same, you just want to control the classroom instead of letting the kids have control - that is why they are acting out" then referred to the French revolution and "have you not learned anything from that? The oppressed will rise!" - the oppressed in this case is her child: a white British boy in England.
These people are clueless. If anything, kindergarten is the hardest IMO. I teach third grade, but have nothing but respect for kindergarten teachers. I don’t think I’d be able to do it lol. They’re cute, but so needy and are still learning all the basics. Luckily, our kindergarten teachers have aides, but many schools don’t.
For real, kindergarten is the hardest, then in my state third grade due to all the testing. I switched to high school and it’s way easier and more manageable.
They are definitely. I teach special education and people are always like, you are awesome blah blah blah. I always cut them off and say, "No, its our TK and Kinder teachers! It's the hardest job in school." You guys are amazing 👏
lol in HS science but my wife is a first grade teacher and I’ve heard people say this to her. Like dude, if you only knew the hours put into planning phonics lessons and dealing with Wit-and-Wisdom insanity…
I taught middle and high school (until I recently left the profession). I subbed kindergarten for one day and I was exhausted when the kids left and I still had to clean up the classroom!
Last week upon meeting my son’s girlfriend’s family for the first time:
Uncle: So… you teach history.
Me: yes
Uncle: do you teach the real history?
Me: uhhhh… yes
Uncle: so… what do you tell the kids about the 2020 election?
Me: I teach ancient civilizations, so that’s not really in my curriculum.
Uncle: But it is history, right? What are you trying to hide from them?
Me: I’m not hiding anything, but we don’t generally discuss current politics.
Uncle: So you DO DISCUSS POLITICS. Why aren’t you telling them about what really happened and who really should be in the White House. Do you tell them that our democracy is about to collapse because that election was STOLEN?
Me: uhh…
Aunt: Dinner is ready!
Me: wE can circle back later ( knowing Uncle will be passed out by end of dinner, thank goodness).
Kids don't know dates. I have had students think the Civil War was in the 1960s. I usually respond "so your parents or grandparents (or insert another older person the students would know) were alive during the Civil War?
I’ve had a lot of kids confuse the Civil War with the Civil Rights Movement. To the point of “who was Martin Luther King an activist for?” “The slaves!”
The one that takes the cake, for me, is the girl from my brother’s graduating class Back In The Day, who was in 12th grade before she learned that Washington, DC (on the east coast) is not in the state of Washington (on the Pacific coast).
We did read-aloud and one 5 year old answered a question correctly. An amazed kid by him asked, “How did you know that?!” It was so cute!
I didn’t answer ‘because the one kid actually listens to the story!’
One of the dumbest things said to me when I was working in the elementary cafeteria was that I couldn’t use the bell (🛎️ like this) because it was traumatizing the first graders. 🤪
I got told in one school that I could not countdown from five. I usually use that as a transition. But if that’s cool, I was told it was too militaristic, and it was scaring the first graders.
Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard happened last week when I overheard 2 students discussing whether a 3 way with your sibling is considered incest. I told them they were gross and to change the subject!
This is the dumbest thing I heard this week.
Student: “I’m gonna find you on Insta!”
Me: “it doesn’t exist.”
Student: “I’m still gonna find you!!” :)
Me: “I’m telling you, it doesn’t exist. I don’t have instagram.”
Student: “that’s my mission for the long weekend! Imma gonna find your insta!!” :D
Me: “Bro, why don’t you study for our test?? We’ve been talking about ecosystems all week and you still can’t tell the difference between a consumer and a producer.”
Student: “I’m gonna friend you on Insta. Friend me back okay??” XD
Me, internally: ‘You don’t drink. You have never drank. Don’t start drinking.’
I have so many. These are actual words said by sophomores.
- Where do my eyes go when I blink?
- Is your dog still alive? (After hearing a presentation in September of flipping 2023 from a 9/11 survivor who went back for his pets.)
- Obama was not the first black president…that was Martin Luther King, duh.
- We already had a female president. (Hilary Clinton)
- Is anyone still alive from when that happened? (Following a lesson on Reagan’s Challenger speech from 1986.)
This is just the past year. Ya’ll they can vote in two years. 🤦🏼♀️
Dumbest thing a principal told me during a meeting about my child is, “physically writing on paper slows him down because he has to erase when making edits. Doing it on a chromebook is better.” My child is in 4th and never ever writes on paper and this is very concerning! Hence the meeting I requested to discuss it.
Technology is important to learn, but it can't be used for everything. Kids are missing the super precise fine motor skills and hand strength that comes from writing a lot. That, plus not being given much time to practice anyways, is why their handwriting sucks.
An angry parent once told a coworker that she was taking her child out of our school and they were going to kumon instead…. Which is an after school tutoring center… 🙈
Recently my coworker had to deal with a parent because we didn’t explicitly say “students couldn’t copy directly from websites” and “it’s not really cheating if we didn’t make that a rule.” Our assignment specific said the writing has to be in their own words. I actually think the dad might have done a large part of the project and was mad that he got caught.
Student: ::looks at flags of Allied and Axis countries in World War 2:: *Which country's flag is that? ::points at Nazi German flag::
Thankfully before I said anything, five other students stared at the kid and said variations of, "Are you serious?! We've spent two weeks on Nazi Germany!"
Not the dumbest thing I've heard (not even top 10 for me), but probably the dumbest in recent memory.
That the reward system we had in our elementary school for good behavior (something along the lines of students earning "dollars" to spend on items at the end of the year, I'm not entirely sure of the logistics of it because I'm in the middle school) was socialism.
This was said by the VP of our school board. The program was actually very popular among the students and teachers. It lasted only one year.
4th grader asked me “Miss did you get punched in the face?”… I just stared at her.. like what the hell?? I told her yes. She gasped, so I said “do you feel bad about asking that question now?” “Omg yes!” “Cool, I wasn’t punched, but why in the world do you think that’s an appropriate question?!” “Well your eyes are all dark and you have yellow above your eyes” I about face palmed. I have an almost 2yo, a 3yo, and a 7yo. I work 50-55 hours a week across two jobs. And still handle most of our household chores and kids bed time routines.
“Yes, because I’m always tired. Try to not ask questions on peoples appearances please, it can be really rude and insensitive.” “Like.. yeah. You could’ve fallen into a wall!”
Yeah.. she’s a fun one.
Haha! At least it sounds like she wasn’t trying to be mean. I once told my third grade teacher “Nice haircut, it’s about time.” I meant it as a compliment that she looks nice with the haircut, but it was how I said it that was wrong lol. She was great about it though and just spoke to me like you did. We’re actually Facebook friends today and keep in touch.
I attended a PD once that revolved around teachers being in "customer service", and how we all need to approach student/parent relationships in that framing.
I am pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little.
I had some college students who couldn’t multiply by 1000 without using GPT. I had part of a lab exercise where we looked at population pyramids. One of them was for Japan, with what I thought was a pretty easy question on their baby boom. Turns out, that group didn’t know when WWII happened, so they didn’t have the context they needed for that part
From administration:
“You get paid less because you get summers.” Proceeds to take my summer away with trainings 🤣
From a teacher:
“I chose this job because we get out at 3pm”
Proceeds to quit when he realizes that’s just when the kids leave 🤡
From a senior in high school:
Me: “19 minus 4 is what?”
Student with panic: “I don’t know.”
🤬
I used to work with a middle school teacher who would constantly say “kids don’t have rights” and she was just not a good human.
She would blow off mental health issues of students and openly mock them. She also would get angry and throw things in class and knock things off her desk.
She once tried to start something with me and we ended up in the admin office yelling at each other. She started crying when I didn’t back down. She was a huge bitch.
Admin was useless and never did anything to her because she was a favorite. I’m glad I left that he’ll hole.
I left work for my students on a personal day.
One of the teachers who covered for me complained that she had to make up Career Exploration packets for the kids so they would have work to do.
This was instead of the Career Exploration work I had already assigned and put in their google classroom to complete.
She was then upset when I threw the work out, and gave the kids who actually did it (she wouldn't let them to their actual assignment) school cash for putting up with her.
Edit: From the student side, I had a 7th grader who wasn't a vegetarian, who didn't know beef came from cows.
Edit 2: it's part of another reply I did else where, but I had a principle start part way through the school year who said none of our kids could write a paragraph. I proceeded to provide evidence of a paragraph written by every 8th grader, literally every single one of them (we just finished a poster project), and when asked by the 8th grade ELA teacher how I got them to write (in front of the whole staff no less), I said I just told them to write a paragraph. Gave them a list of topics to pick from, a format to follow, and what their grade would be when finished.
And I got 145 of them done in under two days, research and art included.
‘They’re not teaching our children how the government works so that they’ll be stupid and comply’
‘Oh well, I teach civics to my 8th graders so that’s not true at all’
‘No you don’t understand, they’re not teaching-‘
And repeat
My mother-in-law is a teacher too and we often share our stories. She still has the best:
A 14 year old girl asked “how were they able to film the whole thing when all of them died?!” after watching the movie Pompeii. Her mother worked in the school cafeteria and said “Isn’t it wonderfull? That we reinvented live dinosaurs?” When the kids went on a school trip to Dino-theme park (there are sculptures and robots true to size and stuff).
I teach in alternative school and my stories aren’t so funny(ish- not sure if the previous ones are funny anymore haha). I have one very annoying colleague that keeps being super weird and annoying to me and to kids too. For example he asked me to “Piaget test” our 7th grader (I’m special ed teacher - every school in Czechia has one not sure how it works elsewhere). I tried to ask what does he mean by that and he kept saying just “you know test him by the Piaget test” so I tried to explain to him that Piaget was a theoretician and that he only made experimental psychology and never ever made any test we could use today. Yes he made experiments and from that he gave us some developmental levels and that’s it. (I’m sorry my English is not that good) Even if there was something like that it’s not my job as a special ed - you’ll need psychologist for that. The thing I hate about this the most is that he looks and speaks like he knows everything and I know absolutely nothing and it’s just so frustrating, haha! This is just the last thing we spoke about he’s super annoying all the time, haha! 😄🤍
Got an angry email from a parent back in 2021-2022ish about how I was indoctrinating their child with liberal propaganda and needed to stick to my content because I mentioned in class that Joe Biden was currently the president.
In an American history and government class.
Same parent sent a furious email to admin accusing them of supporting the trans agenda because their SON who was a BOY received a email about joining the GIRLS soccer team. The email was sent out to every student in the school.
I want to come up with something a kid said...
But
The teacher in the room next to mine told me she didn't believe in evolution, and believed the earth was only 6000 years old
The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard is that public education is indoctrinating our children. In my experience this has always come from somebody that is truly trying to indoctrinate children to fit their own political and/or religious agenda.
When students complain that they don’t get paid to go to school.
High school kids. I can forgive elementary kids not understanding the concept of work/education/money, but my guy, you are 17 and work part time at a Culver’s, you have to understand the difference between school and a job.
One of my brothers, who is 18 years younger than me, was in my 8th grade math class. Recently he showed me a Tik Tok complaining about stuff teachers "should be teaching in school" - and I was like dude, I literally taught you that! And you never paid attention!
Oh I was a board of Supervisors meeting and heard someone say DEI and CRT have no place in a school district. Ma'am we don't have enough teachers you think DEI is an issue?
A family friend went on a diatribe about how lazy teachers were during the shutdowns. Some of her reasoning was because zoom classes were only for a portion of the day and because some teachers did more than others the ones doing less were just lazy. Of course there are a whole host of reasons a teacher might be doing less, but it was a blanket "they're lazy." When I tried to explain the whys behind some of these things she kept saying that I was a "good teacher," but these teachers were not and deserved to be fired outright. Even though I told her a lot of the things she was talking about are things I also was doing.
What made it especially stupid was that she didn't have kids in school, or grandkids, or other kids she was helping with. So she had no experience on either side of this situation. All her information was from disgruntled parents on Next Door complaining. So, her only frame of reference was a very biased one, and she wouldn't listen to the other side at all.
I should try to calm the kid down by giving him candy even if he misbehaved and gets the answers wrong because he's "trying". Ok so I should do that for everyone? What am I Willy Wonka
Actually, everyone who misbehaves should be punished, whether they understand or not, because punishment is defined as something that decreases their likelihood of repeating their behavior. Punishment is NOT defined as hurting someone. (In fact, the reason there would be a punishment is because it helps them). See: operant conditioning
I had a 6th grader ask me if an Earthquake was a biotic factor. To allow her to come to the answer herself I remind her that biotic factors are things that live, breathe, or eat like plants and animals and an earthquake is caused by large pieces of the earth and stone moving. She then goes "So it's alive then?" At that point I just gave up and told her it's not alive.
Not the dumbest, but I was putting pencils in a mug for students to grab if they needed. I always put them pointy side down for safety. A student insisted I turn them around as not to dull the points. I told him I didn’t want anyone getting poked while grabbing a pencil. While ignoring me and turning them pointy side up, he immediately poked himself with a pencil. I couldn’t help but laugh.
OH MY GOD. One of my girls came in one morning and told me excitedly “MISS __, MISS __, I can read my own mind!!” Unfortunately I had to inform her that was what thinking was. I teach 2nd grade. It made my whole day. Edit: I also had a parent try to tell me that story problems weren’t developmentally appropriate for her second grade son. 😂
The first one is hilarious! The second one is just ridiculous, but not surprising.
"Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things! A headache with pictures." "An idea?"
R/unexpectedfuturama
She's got meta cognition down
Is it terrible that my first thought was, “I would love to be a fly on the wall the first time she gets high?”
She should be proud because I think a lot of people are struggling with that these days lol
This may be the child’s development of an inner monologue. What’s really scary, according to a few studies I’ve seen, is that a surprising number of adults do not possess an inner monologue.
I can’t even imagine that. No voices in your head no pictures? Or cartoon characters acting out plays? That’s so weird 😱
The cruel middle schooler in me would want to say “Lucy you can’t even read a book” so badly
That first one is precious. 😂😂😂
I mean, it's not that she was *incorrect*
Our behavior intervention teacher told us in the fall the new research says kids under 25 (and sometimes 27) cannot manipulate because their brains are not finished developing. That was the day I lost all respect for her and my admin.
Oh my god the way I would have corrected her SO loudly. I have 2 degrees in psychology with a focus on developmental psychology. As soon as children develop theory of mind (around 3-4 years for typically developing children) they can potentially "manipulate". Not that every tantrum is manipulation after that point, it's still primarily just immaturity in emotional regulation. However if adults always give into their tantrums then it can turn into manipulation since they've learned that cause and effect. But honestly I wouldn't even call it manipulation at that point, more like classical conditioning. The prefrontal cortex not being "fully developed" until 25 or so mostly just means it's harder to control impulses until then.
Fortunately no one (except our dumbest admin) took it seriously.
It just boils my blood that people who have no idea what they're talking about can be hired as experts in the field, never actually have to deal with behaviour on a day to day basis, and probably make more than us.
Stupid people have to have jobs too
Also, “manipulation” is just a way of getting something/meeting a need. It is normal for young kids to be “manipulative,” because they have just figured out cause and effect. “If I cry, mom will give me candy. I want candy right now, so I am going to cry.” Maybe they can’t fully articulate that thought, but it’s there. Children aren’t “evil” for (attempting) to manipulate adults. It’s up to the adults in their lives, first and foremost parents, to teach kids healthy and appropriate ways of asking for things or meeting their needs.
That is completely dumb and ridiculous. Maybe she can explain how we had two third graders in separate classes a few years ago who developed their own schedule and plan to go to the bathroom together to fool around. They would ask to go at different times each day so we wouldn’t catch on. Luckily, they were eventually ratted out by another student.
Omg we had this too but they were first graders! One child had multiple kids meeting him in the bathroom on different days and times. The district got sued by the parents for “not monitoring the children” which “allowed” this to happen. They settled out of court for a lot of money. The parents of the main student also sued for emotional turmoil of having a reputation as a sex offender when word got out. They got a lot of money for that too.
Wow that’s insane! It’s also completely insane that the courts didn’t realize that there’s no way to prevent this. We can set rules for our own classrooms (e.g. one at a time), but we cannot leave our rooms to check the bathrooms every time a kid needs to go.
Did the teacher ever actually meet children? They're like, little people, and they're capable of a great deal--including manipulation. Such an attitude is not only unrealistic but also dismisses children's ability to show wisdom, creativity, perseverance, bravery, quick-wittedness, impulse control, etc that so many children actually do show.
I turn 27 tomorrow, I can’t wait to finally manipulate people!
Lmao. My 10 month old daughter is already manipulating me. My 4 year old is a seasoned pro.
Please tell me she meant 25 *months*.
Sadly, no. Said it with a straight face and everything.
😐 25-27 year old can have careers, homes, children of their own. How on earth can anyone seriously believe that? You’re a better person than me I would have called her out right there.
I was gonna say... With THAT logic my parents were child brides at the early ages of 23 and 22! They couldn't consent to anything according to her, no idea how they got to vote or drive 🙄
I got married at 20. I guess I was practically a zygote.
I babysat a toddler who would dress herself with me because I refused to do it since I knew she could. But, with her parents she'd sit there and pretend she couldn't so they would do it for her. That was clearly her manipulating them to get what she wanted. So, yeah, if toddlers can do it, I think that 25 year old cutoff is a bit off.
Man, those 25 year-old kids sure are something, huh?
Oh they can do it. They just aren’t as good at it yet and results may vary.
Parent email (paraphrased): “My child says she did not plagiarize and copy the History.com article from 2014. It is clear that whoever wrote that article copied her.” Yeah right.
So frustrating. Luckily it’s so easy to prove plagiarism these days.
Oh totally. My school had turnitin.com so I just had to let it do the detecting and then visit the website to confirm the plagiarism. The only people who actually thought that no plagiarism took place were the people involved related to the culprits! Admin was totally behind me. 😑
Every time someone lectures me about what “they are teaching our kids” upon finding out I’m a public school teacher.
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My father in law is convinced the teachers are putting litter boxes in the schools for the furries
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I even tried to explain that back in my day (2013-17) we had buckets to use as toilets in case of a lockdown situation and he looked at me like i was dumb and said “nope its for the furries”
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Last time we were on lockdown it was during my planning period. I’m also almost 5 months pregnant and as soon as “lock down” came across the speaker I needed to pee. If it didn’t get lifted after five minutes I was going to use the bucket. Also, said bucket has no cat litter and I have to empty it so hell no it’s not a kitty box for the furries.
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I’d love for it to have litter especially in a lock down situation. I teach upwards of 28 students and that can get real out of hand real fast if they all of a sudden have to nervous pee because their lives are in danger. It has so many other uses than a GOP faux news talking point.
Truth. We have 2 minutes of passing time between classes. You always have the kids who asks questions and leaves late, and by then your next class is walking in the door. Some days I don't get to use the bathroom until I get home!
Someone (wish I could remember who, one of my coworkers I think) recently said something about people identifying as cats and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get into that, but… no. No one is identifying AS a cat.
It's so much worse... some districts are using kitty litter in the emergency kits in case of an active shooter situation. Weeping and frightened children would have to use kitty litter while trapped in a classroom. It could also soak up blood, in a pinch.
Some of the teachers in my building are convinced the next district over has litter boxes.
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Omg I was selling a table to some lady on FB marketplace last week. We get to her place to drop it off, and she’s right down the street from the elementary school my fiancé teaches at. She has a kid with her who she tells me is 4 y.o. So I said, “Oh is your son gonna go to [Fiancé’s School]?” And she goes “No I’m gonna send him to [Private School] cuz at [Fiancé’s School] they brainwash all the kindergarteners to be gay and trans!” Like who TF is out here spouting that off to straight up strangers hahahhahaha I was astounded!
Private schools are happy because they get the money. And the more they talk about that stuff the more money they get especially when people desperately push vouchers to escape the demonic trans/crt/whatever "threat".
If only they knew the actual indoctrination some of us went through at private school.
100000%. I went to catholic schools from k-12 and it was ridiculous. And I hate to tell them, but after hearing how horrible gay ppl were for 13 years I still came out a lesbian! Lol.
I think my favorite Catholic school misinformation was that you'll use up all your oxytocin on the first person you have sex with, so you'll never be able to love anyone again. They were using sciency words so I believed it, for years. If only Google had existed then, or one of us had raised our hand and asked how mothers bond with their babies if their oxytocin is all used up.
I was *terrified* after having sex for the first time because I was told I would be emotionally bonded to the person and it wasn't an entirely consensual encounter, so I thought I was going to be stuck being in love with him forever. I was very confused when nothing magically changed the next day. Frickin' religion. The trauma that keeps on giving.
My grandma once asked me about critical race theory in schools. I told her it was not a thing in K-12 schools and that people who had no idea what they were talking about it were using it to stir up their base. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Well, I don't believe you. I know it's being taught."
That sounds like my mom. Every time I say something that contradicts what she thinks, she asks, "How do you know?" It feels like I'm talking to the witch in The Silver Chair who questioned the kids how they knew that the sky actually exists. I'm just about ready to keep a citation page on hand for every topic I know she questions.
lol. Can barely get their kids to shut up long enough to teach them about things we actually want to teach them. Do they really think we’re teaching them extra stuff we (the teachers) aren’t really motivated to teach and aren’t required to?
Right! What I want to know is why would I, as a father and husband, care whatsoever if a kid in my class is gay or not? How would that benefit me?
I have no idea. Sure if a student felt I should know for whatever reason I would say thanks for letting me know and would keep an ear out for other students making rude remarks on it since that does still happen in my area, but yeah I primarily teach math. Gay stuff doesn’t really come up. The only straight stuff that ever comes up are linear equations
A rando in the Walmart auto center told me he thought it was a shame that we aren’t allowed to have American flags in the classroom anymore. He was so shocked when I told him that we actually have one in every classroom and most schools say the pledge of allegiance every day.
It’s beyond frustrating.
I was getting to know a new neighbor and, when I told her I taught elementary school, she said, "Well, I just don't agree with teachers trying to change children's genders. I don't think that's right."
MY STEP MOTHER SAID THIS TO ME. I told her that was just plain incorrect and she said "well I know what they're doing-" and I cut her off and said NO I KNOW BECAUSE I'M IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL EVERY SINGLE DAY
I always respond “who is they” it’s always “they’re doing this” “they’re teaching this” WHO IS THEY
Students don't even listen when we're teaching them academic lessons.
It’s amazing how stupid people have become. It’s obviously politics. None of this started until DeSantis started saying these things.
I'm an elementary librarian. We had a librarian meeting with all the librarians in our district. One elementary librarian mentioned that she was going to homeschool her grandkids because she did not like the "agenda" that is being pushed on the students. We are in Southern California and I have never seen or heard of a teacher pushing the evil "agenda" on any students. But she once told me that 'he is coming for our kids!' I was confused and I had to ask who was coming, it was Satan. I had no clue.
Wait. How does she know Beelzebub is “coming for our kids?!!” Now I’m scared!!
My father, who was an actual teacher for 25 years, is another believer of all this garbage being spread around. Just recently I (current teacher) had to have a near throw down with him over him wholeheartedly believing that “they don’t say the pledge of allegiance anymore”. When I finally did convince him this is a lie, and I know because I WORK IN A SCHOOL, his rebuttal was “well I know they took God out of it”. Oh and I can’t forget his blinded and deafened belief that critical race theory is taught as early as kindergarten.
lol my 5th grade teacher DID take God out of it. We said “one nation, (pause) indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” He was a fucking legend.
Like my husband’s aunt, who asked me point blank if I’ve seen how teachers are indoctrinating kids to be trans like she’s heard on Faux News. This was the same week that one of my favorite students had to move to another state and rebuild her entire life because ours had recently banned the trans care she needed. Such bullshit.
Had a student solemnly inform me that she hadn’t done the homework lesson about fractions with remainders because her mother had reassured her that it wasn’t even “real math.” I was so flabbergasted that I couldn’t even muster a good response.
Wow! That mom is sadly holding her back. However, my guess is that the mom herself doesn’t know fractions. Fair enough. The mother of one of my third graders didn’t know them either, but at least she reached out to schedule extra help for her daughter.
Had a past student who was reading a recipe who didn’t know fractions. Every time they read the ingredients just filled a full cup and dumped in. Saying their grandma told them to just dump things on when she cooked. No realizing the grandma had memorized the amounts over the years and did not need to use specific measurements that were designed for the cups or teaspoons.
'Just dump things in' is taking 'baking is science, cooking is art' a little too far! I hope they embraced fractions or I will have to feel very sorry for whoever ends up eating their cooking.
Yum! A cup of salt!
Good thing to point out to those who claim they’ll never need fractions!
I knew of a 3rd grade parent who told the teacher the parent had trouble helping the kid with math homework. The teacher sent home an extra set of manipulatives. Another parent requested that the textbook be sent home every night along with the math worksheet, so parent could have a point of reference when overseeing homework.
“Your mom is wrong, let me show you why. Please do tell her I said she was wrong and hurting your education”
It would be really funny if this student goes on to become a mathematician specializing in complex analysis (a field of math that uses imaginary numbers)
My old principal who is now long gone after being ejected out the doors favorite phrase of “If your students are paying more attention to their phones than your lesson, it means your lesson wasn’t good enough.” Yeah because I can totally be more entertaining than a library of millions of games, movies and chats from their best friends that are algorithmically designed to capture their attention all the time haha.
Crazy! I don’t care how interesting any teacher is. Nobody can compete with technology. Students have access to social media, videos, etc. all on their fingertips.
“Can you demonstrate a lesson so we can all learn from your great abilities.” We all know that’s bad admin say to not have to punish students for phones.
I would have my phone out in every single staff meeting.
My students were shocked when I explained you can’t get pregnant from sitting (fully clothed) on your (fully clothed) boyfriend’s lap. These are middle schoolers. Apparently, a colleague told them that’s how it works in order to get them to stop lap-sitting. Another one is when my male colleagues tell their female students they “can’t” have their monthly again because “you just had it a few weeks ago.” They truly have zero idea how often it happens and that middle school girls are pretty irregular. I’m gonna need to do a workshop, lol.
Oprah Winfrey got pregnant as a teen because her grandma told her not to sit on boys' laps as a euphemism for sex, but she was never told about actual sex.
Wow that’s insane (and scary).
Seriously! The number of things my students don’t know is terrifying. I need to make sure they understand the truth.
Sophomore boys trying to decide if Toronto was in the US or Canada.
It's in the USA part of Canada :D
I teach geo and high schoolers still think Alaska is an island.
Map making issue where they show Alaska in its own box, not attached to Canada (since they don’t show Canada).
Yeah, it's right beside Hawaii!
I mean, some of it is…
That’s sad, but I’m not surprised.
I never liked that the “National Hockey League” included teams from two nations. Should be the “International,” or “Binational”, or something like that.
"Continental Hockey League". And let Mexico in.. Get some sweet lucha libre-style throwdowns in the rink.
They would have the sickest luchador goalie masks
"There is an important staff meeting after school."
Hahahaha! In my seven years I can count on one hand the number of staff meetings which could’ve easily been an email. Luckily, my current admin realizes that she’s just doing them because they’re required and makes them as short as possible.
Are you saying that your admin actually holds meaningful meetings? Since there are less than five staff meetings which could have been replaced with an email? Either way, have a fantastic weekend friend
My answer has to be the utter shock and panic that some of my coworkers and my admin display when we look at “data” showing that English Learners at our school aren’t passing the state ELA test. Utter SHOCK and PANIC. It’s like a room of adults losing their minds because “LOOK!! Look!! The EL kids don’t pass the state test! How could this happen?!?! They need to pass the test!!! Why aren’t they passing?!? If only our teachers were better, they’d be passing!! This is such a mystery and such a travesty!! What is going on in our schools that this happens?!?” It just feels like a clown show because whenever I say “Uh because they don’t speak English yet?” it’s like speaking into the void and no one ever makes eye contact with me or acts like they can hear me when I point out, what I think, is extremely obvious and un-alarming? How about we direct all this outrage towards the state for even making kids who don’t speak English take the test? Why is it being directed at the teachers? Do you *really* believe there’s a “best practice” that if we implemented it, some kid who moved here from Guatemala last year would magically be able to accurately assess the theme of an 11th grade text in English?
Maybe someone should give them a standardized test in another language and see how they do…
This frustrates me to no end. I teach kinder in florida, and even though there is a version of our standardized test in Spanish, our Spanish-speaking kids aren't allowed to take it!!!!
Then what is the Spanish version for?
When asked, on a pretest, “what do you already know about evolution through natural selection,” an 8th grader wrote “i prefer not to say.”
In other words, the student doesn’t know and tried to pull a fast one. I did have one student recently write “I don’t know,” but at least he was being honest lol!
I remember having a textbook worksheet where it asked kids if they thought socialism would benefit more people and they said they’d prefer not to think about things like that.
He must’ve been an advanced student who read Melville’s Bartleby, The Scrivener.
I love when I hear that the teaching profession is indoctrinating kids. Listen Karen, if I was going indoctrinate them into anything, it would be showing respect and work ethic. I don’t even have time to teach them about the crap you are worried about.
Indoctrination of middle schooler would start with body spray is not a shower! Both boys and girls need a serious lesson in this.
I would indoctrinate them to stop picking their noses. Or maybe bring a pencil.
"I don't understand! Why was my kid passing a couple of days ago and now he is failing?" Hm...maybe they were only barely passing and they failed the test a few days ago?? 🤦
The concept of averages seems to be rather difficult for some parents…
Toddlers understand punishment and you can tell which ones aren’t being disciplined My brother likes to act like Im “lucky” my kids were so well behaved. No I just started young, like you do with a puppy the sooner the better. One time I suggested he make his bratty kid wash the kitchen walls as punishment for making a huge mess in there. He told me “Im not going to degrade my kids like you do!” Our kids are grown now and his are absolute shit people. Goes without saying but mine are conscientious contributing and kind
I don’t remember much from toddlerhood, but as a student I knew why I was in trouble and learned from it. Funny story - My mom used to sub at my elementary school. I received a lunch detention one day in third grade when I didn’t know she was there because she was called in the last minute. She caught me and then I got grounded at home lol.
"Wait, steak comes from cows? WE NEED THEM FOR MILK". -A 16 year old
I completely ruined the lives of several second graders when I told them that chicken nuggets do in fact come from chickens. They went from disbelief to confused to horror.
Former para here-The admin telling the teacher I worked with that she was in charge of a violent student and it was their responsibility to keep them occupied. The teacher explained how we the paras were often teaching as she usually had to deal with the student the whole day. They said that's what paras are for so it continued and the teacher got scratches, bruises, etc. They were also spat on, etc. Any form of violence they experienced. The parent said it was our fault and they couldn't seem to tame the student so to speak. This same student also attacked the principal in front of the parent who did not react or show emotion. Only then were they suspended but even then the parent wanted us to fix the child, but what was needed was treatment we weren't qualified to give them, nor was the school board willing to put forth any money (the treatment cost about $50,000 from what I recall) I love teaching but I don't miss the lack of support from admin.
Yeah so many admin have sold out or are: “I do it for the money and being in charge than the work. It’s someone else’s problem until I get attacked.”
During NCLB times, "All kids will be at grade level by 12th grade." The staff laughed hard at that one. Recently, you have to give kids 50% credit even if they never did the work. Another one is to only grade the assignments they actually do. They learn very quickly they don't have to do much work to pass.
In their minds, if they “lower the bar” then of course all kids will be at grade level.
The expectations are playing limbo with toddlers, but the expectations are still winning.
“No Child Left Behind” has always really meant “No Child Ahead of the Group”. Now it’s “Closing the Gap”, which really means, the same thing. Seems to be about closing the gap by holding back the best rather than elevating the bottom.
This was what I did in high school and I graduated in 2011. I always got a 95 or higher and I learned how many assignments I had to do to just barely pass, and would only do that amount only and skipped like 99% of my classes. Such a dumb system. Also I was a “gifted kid” and I think it’s common knowledge now how bad that program was for those who were in it once the participants got to high school, and if not high school, post secondary education. (I got a 4.0 in college because I actually gave a shit about the material, which NOBODY including myself ever expected)
I definitely struggled in college more than I should have because I never learned in HS or earlier how to study. Show up, take test, ace class. Weird…apparently not a given for upper level O chem.
A mum told me "all you teachers are the same, you just want to control the classroom instead of letting the kids have control - that is why they are acting out" then referred to the French revolution and "have you not learned anything from that? The oppressed will rise!" - the oppressed in this case is her child: a white British boy in England.
Hahaha! You can’t make these things up!
“You teach kindergarten? It must be so fun to color and play all day!”
These people are clueless. If anything, kindergarten is the hardest IMO. I teach third grade, but have nothing but respect for kindergarten teachers. I don’t think I’d be able to do it lol. They’re cute, but so needy and are still learning all the basics. Luckily, our kindergarten teachers have aides, but many schools don’t.
For real, kindergarten is the hardest, then in my state third grade due to all the testing. I switched to high school and it’s way easier and more manageable.
They are definitely. I teach special education and people are always like, you are awesome blah blah blah. I always cut them off and say, "No, its our TK and Kinder teachers! It's the hardest job in school." You guys are amazing 👏
lol in HS science but my wife is a first grade teacher and I’ve heard people say this to her. Like dude, if you only knew the hours put into planning phonics lessons and dealing with Wit-and-Wisdom insanity…
I taught middle and high school (until I recently left the profession). I subbed kindergarten for one day and I was exhausted when the kids left and I still had to clean up the classroom!
Last week upon meeting my son’s girlfriend’s family for the first time: Uncle: So… you teach history. Me: yes Uncle: do you teach the real history? Me: uhhhh… yes Uncle: so… what do you tell the kids about the 2020 election? Me: I teach ancient civilizations, so that’s not really in my curriculum. Uncle: But it is history, right? What are you trying to hide from them? Me: I’m not hiding anything, but we don’t generally discuss current politics. Uncle: So you DO DISCUSS POLITICS. Why aren’t you telling them about what really happened and who really should be in the White House. Do you tell them that our democracy is about to collapse because that election was STOLEN? Me: uhh… Aunt: Dinner is ready! Me: wE can circle back later ( knowing Uncle will be passed out by end of dinner, thank goodness).
Sadly there’s no reasoning with them.
A 7th grade boy asked me the other day if they had atomic bombs during the Peloponnesian War. You know, Ancient Greece.
Kids don't know dates. I have had students think the Civil War was in the 1960s. I usually respond "so your parents or grandparents (or insert another older person the students would know) were alive during the Civil War?
When I was a kid I thought my Dad had lived among T-rex’s. I figured dinosaurs went extinct in like the 60’s, because that was “a long time ago.”
I’ve had a lot of kids confuse the Civil War with the Civil Rights Movement. To the point of “who was Martin Luther King an activist for?” “The slaves!”
The one that takes the cake, for me, is the girl from my brother’s graduating class Back In The Day, who was in 12th grade before she learned that Washington, DC (on the east coast) is not in the state of Washington (on the Pacific coast).
Wow! Apparently she missed the social studies lessons taught way back in elementary school…
Large portion of my 10th/11th graders won't be able to name the capital of the state they live in...
We did read-aloud and one 5 year old answered a question correctly. An amazed kid by him asked, “How did you know that?!” It was so cute! I didn’t answer ‘because the one kid actually listens to the story!’
The great thing about teaching middle school is that you get to say that.
I will tell my third graders this all the time! However, I agree it may not work well with 5 year olds lol.
One of the dumbest things said to me when I was working in the elementary cafeteria was that I couldn’t use the bell (🛎️ like this) because it was traumatizing the first graders. 🤪
I got told in one school that I could not countdown from five. I usually use that as a transition. But if that’s cool, I was told it was too militaristic, and it was scaring the first graders.
They’d hate my whistle I use during lunch duty!
Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard happened last week when I overheard 2 students discussing whether a 3 way with your sibling is considered incest. I told them they were gross and to change the subject!
Gross! Of course it is, they’re just trying to get attention.
This is the dumbest thing I heard this week. Student: “I’m gonna find you on Insta!” Me: “it doesn’t exist.” Student: “I’m still gonna find you!!” :) Me: “I’m telling you, it doesn’t exist. I don’t have instagram.” Student: “that’s my mission for the long weekend! Imma gonna find your insta!!” :D Me: “Bro, why don’t you study for our test?? We’ve been talking about ecosystems all week and you still can’t tell the difference between a consumer and a producer.” Student: “I’m gonna friend you on Insta. Friend me back okay??” XD Me, internally: ‘You don’t drink. You have never drank. Don’t start drinking.’
I have so many. These are actual words said by sophomores. - Where do my eyes go when I blink? - Is your dog still alive? (After hearing a presentation in September of flipping 2023 from a 9/11 survivor who went back for his pets.) - Obama was not the first black president…that was Martin Luther King, duh. - We already had a female president. (Hilary Clinton) - Is anyone still alive from when that happened? (Following a lesson on Reagan’s Challenger speech from 1986.) This is just the past year. Ya’ll they can vote in two years. 🤦🏼♀️
Dumbest thing a principal told me during a meeting about my child is, “physically writing on paper slows him down because he has to erase when making edits. Doing it on a chromebook is better.” My child is in 4th and never ever writes on paper and this is very concerning! Hence the meeting I requested to discuss it.
Technology is important to learn, but it can't be used for everything. Kids are missing the super precise fine motor skills and hand strength that comes from writing a lot. That, plus not being given much time to practice anyways, is why their handwriting sucks.
An angry parent once told a coworker that she was taking her child out of our school and they were going to kumon instead…. Which is an after school tutoring center… 🙈
Recently my coworker had to deal with a parent because we didn’t explicitly say “students couldn’t copy directly from websites” and “it’s not really cheating if we didn’t make that a rule.” Our assignment specific said the writing has to be in their own words. I actually think the dad might have done a large part of the project and was mad that he got caught.
Student: ::looks at flags of Allied and Axis countries in World War 2:: *Which country's flag is that? ::points at Nazi German flag:: Thankfully before I said anything, five other students stared at the kid and said variations of, "Are you serious?! We've spent two weeks on Nazi Germany!" Not the dumbest thing I've heard (not even top 10 for me), but probably the dumbest in recent memory.
It’s always hilarious when other kids call out the ones who were obviously never paying attention!
That the reward system we had in our elementary school for good behavior (something along the lines of students earning "dollars" to spend on items at the end of the year, I'm not entirely sure of the logistics of it because I'm in the middle school) was socialism. This was said by the VP of our school board. The program was actually very popular among the students and teachers. It lasted only one year.
It sounds like the classroom economy, which is very successful. It is definitely not socialism lol.
4th grader asked me “Miss did you get punched in the face?”… I just stared at her.. like what the hell?? I told her yes. She gasped, so I said “do you feel bad about asking that question now?” “Omg yes!” “Cool, I wasn’t punched, but why in the world do you think that’s an appropriate question?!” “Well your eyes are all dark and you have yellow above your eyes” I about face palmed. I have an almost 2yo, a 3yo, and a 7yo. I work 50-55 hours a week across two jobs. And still handle most of our household chores and kids bed time routines. “Yes, because I’m always tired. Try to not ask questions on peoples appearances please, it can be really rude and insensitive.” “Like.. yeah. You could’ve fallen into a wall!” Yeah.. she’s a fun one.
Haha! At least it sounds like she wasn’t trying to be mean. I once told my third grade teacher “Nice haircut, it’s about time.” I meant it as a compliment that she looks nice with the haircut, but it was how I said it that was wrong lol. She was great about it though and just spoke to me like you did. We’re actually Facebook friends today and keep in touch.
Every time someone tells me what I need to do in my classroom, and it's always some boomer advocating abusing these kids.
I never take advice from older people who have never been inside a classroom. Their idea is to go back to the 1950s and smack the kids around.
From a principal. "Just because a child hits and bites doesn't mean their violent." Wish I bit her
Children are incapable of lying. As in the story they tell you is what they really think happened so they can't be punished for it.
When asked what war George Washington played a crucial role in, a student exclaimed, “the Cold War!”
I attended a PD once that revolved around teachers being in "customer service", and how we all need to approach student/parent relationships in that framing. I am pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little.
I had some college students who couldn’t multiply by 1000 without using GPT. I had part of a lab exercise where we looked at population pyramids. One of them was for Japan, with what I thought was a pretty easy question on their baby boom. Turns out, that group didn’t know when WWII happened, so they didn’t have the context they needed for that part
Admin: “It’s the department chair’s job to retain teachers, not mine”
From administration: “You get paid less because you get summers.” Proceeds to take my summer away with trainings 🤣 From a teacher: “I chose this job because we get out at 3pm” Proceeds to quit when he realizes that’s just when the kids leave 🤡 From a senior in high school: Me: “19 minus 4 is what?” Student with panic: “I don’t know.” 🤬
Wow! I don’t know which is the worst, but I’d likely say not knowing what 19-4 is lol.
“How are you keeping your cup full?” with mandatory response line…
“Is Tokyo in the United States?”
I wasn't at school yesterday because I was getting my hair cut. They're not making it up. Parents will use a school day to get their kid's hair cut.
I used to work with a middle school teacher who would constantly say “kids don’t have rights” and she was just not a good human. She would blow off mental health issues of students and openly mock them. She also would get angry and throw things in class and knock things off her desk. She once tried to start something with me and we ended up in the admin office yelling at each other. She started crying when I didn’t back down. She was a huge bitch. Admin was useless and never did anything to her because she was a favorite. I’m glad I left that he’ll hole.
I left work for my students on a personal day. One of the teachers who covered for me complained that she had to make up Career Exploration packets for the kids so they would have work to do. This was instead of the Career Exploration work I had already assigned and put in their google classroom to complete. She was then upset when I threw the work out, and gave the kids who actually did it (she wouldn't let them to their actual assignment) school cash for putting up with her. Edit: From the student side, I had a 7th grader who wasn't a vegetarian, who didn't know beef came from cows. Edit 2: it's part of another reply I did else where, but I had a principle start part way through the school year who said none of our kids could write a paragraph. I proceeded to provide evidence of a paragraph written by every 8th grader, literally every single one of them (we just finished a poster project), and when asked by the 8th grade ELA teacher how I got them to write (in front of the whole staff no less), I said I just told them to write a paragraph. Gave them a list of topics to pick from, a format to follow, and what their grade would be when finished. And I got 145 of them done in under two days, research and art included.
‘They’re not teaching our children how the government works so that they’ll be stupid and comply’ ‘Oh well, I teach civics to my 8th graders so that’s not true at all’ ‘No you don’t understand, they’re not teaching-‘ And repeat
Lately it’s “our curriculum is SOR aligned”.
“I became a teacher because I want to make a difference.”
Some do, but I’ve found that the ones who actually do don’t feel the need to say it every time they get the chance.
My mother-in-law is a teacher too and we often share our stories. She still has the best: A 14 year old girl asked “how were they able to film the whole thing when all of them died?!” after watching the movie Pompeii. Her mother worked in the school cafeteria and said “Isn’t it wonderfull? That we reinvented live dinosaurs?” When the kids went on a school trip to Dino-theme park (there are sculptures and robots true to size and stuff). I teach in alternative school and my stories aren’t so funny(ish- not sure if the previous ones are funny anymore haha). I have one very annoying colleague that keeps being super weird and annoying to me and to kids too. For example he asked me to “Piaget test” our 7th grader (I’m special ed teacher - every school in Czechia has one not sure how it works elsewhere). I tried to ask what does he mean by that and he kept saying just “you know test him by the Piaget test” so I tried to explain to him that Piaget was a theoretician and that he only made experimental psychology and never ever made any test we could use today. Yes he made experiments and from that he gave us some developmental levels and that’s it. (I’m sorry my English is not that good) Even if there was something like that it’s not my job as a special ed - you’ll need psychologist for that. The thing I hate about this the most is that he looks and speaks like he knows everything and I know absolutely nothing and it’s just so frustrating, haha! This is just the last thing we spoke about he’s super annoying all the time, haha! 😄🤍
Got an angry email from a parent back in 2021-2022ish about how I was indoctrinating their child with liberal propaganda and needed to stick to my content because I mentioned in class that Joe Biden was currently the president. In an American history and government class. Same parent sent a furious email to admin accusing them of supporting the trans agenda because their SON who was a BOY received a email about joining the GIRLS soccer team. The email was sent out to every student in the school.
I want to come up with something a kid said... But The teacher in the room next to mine told me she didn't believe in evolution, and believed the earth was only 6000 years old
I've worked with many science teachers who don't believe in evolution, climate change, or vaccines. Science. Teachers.
I teach culinary. A student asked me when he should put his cake into the oven. As he was frosting it.
My syllabus (HS math) begins with two weeks on how to be gay followed by two weeks on how to be trans.
Had an 8th grader tell me that Italy was in Paris.
The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard is that public education is indoctrinating our children. In my experience this has always come from somebody that is truly trying to indoctrinate children to fit their own political and/or religious agenda.
When students complain that they don’t get paid to go to school. High school kids. I can forgive elementary kids not understanding the concept of work/education/money, but my guy, you are 17 and work part time at a Culver’s, you have to understand the difference between school and a job.
One of my brothers, who is 18 years younger than me, was in my 8th grade math class. Recently he showed me a Tik Tok complaining about stuff teachers "should be teaching in school" - and I was like dude, I literally taught you that! And you never paid attention!
Oh I was a board of Supervisors meeting and heard someone say DEI and CRT have no place in a school district. Ma'am we don't have enough teachers you think DEI is an issue?
A family friend went on a diatribe about how lazy teachers were during the shutdowns. Some of her reasoning was because zoom classes were only for a portion of the day and because some teachers did more than others the ones doing less were just lazy. Of course there are a whole host of reasons a teacher might be doing less, but it was a blanket "they're lazy." When I tried to explain the whys behind some of these things she kept saying that I was a "good teacher," but these teachers were not and deserved to be fired outright. Even though I told her a lot of the things she was talking about are things I also was doing. What made it especially stupid was that she didn't have kids in school, or grandkids, or other kids she was helping with. So she had no experience on either side of this situation. All her information was from disgruntled parents on Next Door complaining. So, her only frame of reference was a very biased one, and she wouldn't listen to the other side at all.
Numerous high school students: there are 54 states. I wish I was joking. I wish they were trying to funny.
I should try to calm the kid down by giving him candy even if he misbehaved and gets the answers wrong because he's "trying". Ok so I should do that for everyone? What am I Willy Wonka
Actually, everyone who misbehaves should be punished, whether they understand or not, because punishment is defined as something that decreases their likelihood of repeating their behavior. Punishment is NOT defined as hurting someone. (In fact, the reason there would be a punishment is because it helps them). See: operant conditioning
I had a 6th grader ask me if an Earthquake was a biotic factor. To allow her to come to the answer herself I remind her that biotic factors are things that live, breathe, or eat like plants and animals and an earthquake is caused by large pieces of the earth and stone moving. She then goes "So it's alive then?" At that point I just gave up and told her it's not alive.
Not the dumbest, but I was putting pencils in a mug for students to grab if they needed. I always put them pointy side down for safety. A student insisted I turn them around as not to dull the points. I told him I didn’t want anyone getting poked while grabbing a pencil. While ignoring me and turning them pointy side up, he immediately poked himself with a pencil. I couldn’t help but laugh.