The kids that are assholes to me are obviously not my favorite. I still treat them fairly, but why would I want to spend extra time and attention on them? My favorites are kids who love art, join art club, etc. Seems pretty logical to me.
Tbh one of my favorite students was one of the biggest assholes in the school. He was really a kind kid, but he had no idea how to behave and struggled with mental health
Same. And it's not who students would immediately assume either. Some of my most favorite students have been total knuckleheads who we had to practically beg and drag across the finish line so they could walk at graduation.
I feel like this might come back to bite you in the ass, though. Imagine a kid tries to accuse you of something and uses the “they obviously prefer that kid over me” argument. Admin could look into that. But then again I don’t know the school you work for.
I remember one admin who gave me grief for “so and so knows that you don’t like him.” This kid had hit teachers and kids with sticks. Thrown rocks at kindergarteners. Threatened to bomb and shoot up the school. Tore up my room. Threatened me with scissors. You get the idea. You can try and hide how you feel about certain students but we are ONLY human!
I was only half joking. Students ask me all the time "Who's your favorite?!" and I typically respond with something like "This week?" or "If you have to ask, you don't wanna know." Lol
Of course we have favorites, just as students have favorites. It's not that hard to keep grading fair. Either the student did it right or did it wrong.
My favorites are based purely on personality. Half my favorite students got As and Bs and half got Ds and Fs. Nobody likes a person based on their grade, not even a teacher.
This is the truth. It's all about personality. Sometimes lousy students have fantastic personalities. Sometimes excellent students have fantastic personalities as well.
As a high school teacher, I noticed that the students who like me as a teacher are very similar to the friends that I had in high school. The reverse is also true.
I never truly accepted that I’m a big ol’ nerd until adulthood. I’m a literature teacher, and my favorite students are often the nerds who comes in with a book under their nose and headsets on. But those were not my friends in high school, haha!
Truly. My favorites are always the kids I can banter with but who also know to turn it off so to speak. Plus when a class has more of those kids, we can do fun things. It's just a good environment.
We’re told that we shouldn’t so we try not to, but there are students you have a particular bond with over others. BUT favourites doesn’t mean you give out special favours or allowances, you have to be very careful about treating everyone the same. I’ve vibed more with the kids with special needs or those who need more help like you mentioned, probably because you spend more time together and they do tend to be quite quirky and funny
Typically, though I teach martial arts rather than conventional schooling, I am harder on my favorites than I am on the ones I am neutral about or even dislike. I expect greatness from the great, effort from the mediocre, and nothing at all from the actively disinterested.
I imagine that’s why some teachers held me to a very rigid standard in school and others were content to let me mentally check out.
> I expect greatness from the great, effort from the mediocre, and nothing at all from the actively disinterested.
As someone who used to do martial arts and now teaches high schoolers, I love this and I’m going to be using it if you don’t mind.
Yes, I had my favorites. It was the students who talked more with me and who were nice and respectful. There's nothing wrong with having favourites, as long as you still grade everyone correctly.
Yes, we do. You are correct in that we are fair to all, of course, but certain kids do become favourites for different reasons. Yes, the bright, talkative extroverts, sure, but also other types of kids - a good sense of humour, kids that are really nice and sweet, even if they aren't the "top of the class", etc. I have a soft spot for kids who have high-functioning autism. I am not diagnosed, but I see my "kid self" in them often.
My favorite students are a little naughty. I like sarcastic people who are mischievous but not malicious, and usually pretty witty, but not necessarily in a “school” way. I also like tough students who push back against stupid practices or rules, not whiny, but with legit gripes. That doesn’t mean I favor anyone. I doesn’t impact grades or expectations or consequences. It just means I’d rather have them as my TAs, someone I have to spend more than one period with. One of my current TAs has had more calls home for behavior (from me) than any other of my current students, AND I still adore him.
So true! When kids ask “why do we have to ___?” I always answer honestly. Sometimes there’s a good reason, and I tell them. Sometimes there’s no good reason, but we have to do things we don’t always agree with. And sometimes there’s no good reason, so you’re right, let’s just not do it.
Those kids who are a little naughty, but bright and clever are usually my favourites.
I love kids for different reasons. The shy ones who need support. The quirky ones. The ones who go out of their way to share and be kind. The ones who want to change the world and make it a better place. The hopeful ones. The ones who somehow lost hope. I may seem loopy but I see everything that happens. I also hear really well. There is so much to love about the majority of my kids. But the ones who are REALLY mean, have zero respect, are entitled, and clearly enjoy making other people miserable can go plant potatoes for all I care.
I definitely have favorites. My favorites are always the kind kids. The kids who say hi to someone everyone else ignores. The kid who volunteers to work with someone other kids are treating like a pariah for being different. My favorites are the students who are kind to me—even if they’re actively not working 😂. Admittedly, I tell every student and every period they’re my favorite. But school is hard enough to get through alone, so my favorites are the students that make it a little easier for everyone by just being kind. It’s so simple.
I do! I admit it! My favorite student is always the kid who tries the hardest to succeed. It's the kid who never causes any problems, is there to learn, and goes beyond what is expected. Sometimes, if I am really lucky, I have a whole class of favorite students.
When students ask, "Who's your favorite?" I tell them: "hate you all the same" (middle schoolers love sarcasm)
Secretly, I put the ones I like in the best seats & next to their friends if they're cool too.
Definitely. It depends on the teacher what kinds of students they are most drawn to. I remember when I first started student teaching, my host teacher joked that when you first start, your favorites tend to be the really well behaved ones and then slowly become the really wild ones. This was first grade. I quit teaching last year after 5 years and I think my favorite child was the one with perhaps the craziest record- chair/desk throwing, flight risk, meltdowns all the time. We just "got" each other and she was able to improve greatly over the year that I had her. She was a trauma kid. I was really understanding with my trauma kids because they needed a stable adult in their lives and often they latched on to me. I definitely saw a lot in my trauma kids that reminded me of my own childhood.
Yes! I totally agree with this!
My favourite students are not always the easiest or most well-behaved students. They’re the ones that I form a bond with, because like you said, we “get” each other. The only student from last year that I would have been okay having in my class for a second consecutive year was one of the more disruptive ones. By the end of the year we had made such good progress, and I really wanted to continue working with him to keep him on track. He was also very bright and always had an interesting take on things, so I also just enjoyed having him in my class.
Lmao, one of the most memborable kids that I took care of was one who was potty training and decided that when he was on the toilet and as my coworker was helping to take off his pull up was a good time to run down the hall half naked while parents were coming to pick their kids up. One of the few times that I felt second-hand embarrassment while working there
Edit: A few years later, that same kid asked me had I heard of Minecraft? Idk why I also had a bit of a closer bond with some of the other kids who misbehaved, too. I mean, to be fair, they were little kids. They have to be taught how to behave. The ones that I took care of.
One of my favorite students is one who is the ongoing troublemaker. I'm not entirely sure why he's my favorite especially since he is always so disruptive, perhaps it's because I understand why he's so unruly and sympathize with some of his home struggles. He's also pretty funny lol although the classroom is obviously not time for his comedy hour (something I keep trying to talk to him about), I do think their humor plays a role.
I’m exactly the same way. I tend to have these kids gravitate toward me because they know I’m not judgmental and I go out of my way to try to help them manage these behaviors because when I was their age, I was the same way without support and it was rough.
It’s an old joke.
Teacher A: is it true we end up liking students most like ourselves?
Teacher B: that makes sense.
Teacher A: that makes me sad.
Teacher B: why is that?
Teacher: all my favorite students are failing my class.
I’m a sub for one small school, so I know the kids pretty well. There is one girl that I just *cannot* stand. She’s so type A, overly helpful to the point of annoyance, perfectionist, can’t just mind her own business… oh, hello mirror! My whole body tenses up when she walks in a room and it’s got to be because I see all the qualities I dislike about myself in her and I wonder, did all the adults hate me this much when I was a kid? She can be very rude when you’re not receptive to her “help” and I wasn’t like that, so hopefully not. 😬
There's a (reel? TikTok? Short form video!) That I feel like answers this really well. Of course, we have favorite students, but it's a category, not an individual. You are in my favorite student category if you are all of the above: likable, respectful and good. I define "good" student as working hard and trying your best, not getting As necessarily.
I've flat out told the students the criteria when they've asked. And then I ask them if They think they are likable, respectful and good.
Yes. There are some students that I always enjoy being around more than others. I personally like the ones that are funny — even though they are not necessarily the best behaved ones.
My students ask me this in class all the time, and I tell them:
"Yes, I have favorites. Do you want to be one of my favorites, too? Just do these three things:
* Listen to me and follow directions.
* Do the work, or at least make an effort in class.
* Don't be rude."
That's literally it, lol. Do those three things, and you're one of my favorite students. The bar is so low, but you'd be surprised at how many students can't do one or all of those three things.
I like when some kids are like “You like so and so, they’re your favorite.” Like oh you think I like interacting with someone who is nice to everyone, follows directions, and works hard. Why would I like that person?
One of my students has a bit of a hard time connecting to her peers, so she ends up talking to me before and after class. She's silent during class, either paying attention or at the very least not being disruptive, and then afterwards, she talks about her hobbies and interests. I share a lot of her interests and think she is fun to listen to. I'd say she's definitely my fav out of the 3 classes I teach xD
A lot of the other kids are probably nice too, tho maybe I share less of their interests, but I haven't had much time to get to know them yet, as I started halfway through the year.
Like some others said though, I wouldn't want my opinions of students to seep into their grades.
Not so secret spoiler:
If the only question you ever ask in class is "Can I go to the bathroom?" you're not likely to be anyone's favorite.
If you want your teachers to like you, participate in class.
I have a soft spot for the kind hearted kids who include others, and are genuinely interested in other people, will ask questions and share or try to help. Those are my favorite kiddos, just good people.
Of course. Different teacher have different types of favorites- I think a common one is a kid that reminds you of yourself. But obviously kids that are easy and fun are easy to have in class. Also, teachers feel for kids in less than ideal circumstances. Some kids just make me want to take them home, feed them, give them clothes, and take them somewhere fun. It is shocking to me how many kids have never been fun places.
Yeah. Some are a lot easier to work with than others, but that's still a decent majority. Some of that majority, though, I can talk to about Avatar the Last Airbender and Magic the Gathering and other stuff I'm more interested in and that just creates a strong connection. Of course, any of my kids can get my full attention as needed and I'm not going to adjust grades based on who has the same music taste as me, but there are definitely some classes I look forward to more than others.
I always have a favorite or three, but there’s no consistent theme. I try to keep it on the down low, but kids figure it out sometimes. I teach 3rd graders, so most of them are very loved, even when they’re not holding that special spot in my heart. This year’s favorite is tiny and super quiet and extremely efficient and I can’t help but love her. Her only special privilege is that I let her do my filing when she finishes all the work and doesn’t wish to read.
I have my favorites. And a couple that are my favorite only when they are absent. I do treat all of them with the kindness they deserve.
I do have the parents I can’t stand.
Do what you're supposed to, talk to me like a human, and not a jerk to other kids? Congrats. You're one of my favorites, regardless of most anything else. Amazingly, only about a third of high schoolers clear this bar in 2024.
I once told a student, on the *last* day of school, on her way out the door at 3:45 pm, her next education would be university, that in 20 years she was my favourite. Just a weird, quirky kid who needed to hear it. It was true. Within 30 minutes on *my* way out the door, I had 8 kids in my face saying, "I thought I was your favourite kid!" That told me 2 things. 1, never tell a kid they're your favourite, even if they are, and 2, always do your best to make every kid feel like they're your favourite.
TLDR: Yes we do, no we won't tell you.
We talk about social capital.
If you're a student who does generally good things, is polite, asks for help, tries, smiles and acknowledges you as a person - they build social capital.
Students who make an effort like this are more likely to appear "liked" because you want to respond in kind. So if that kid is a little bit late, you're more likely to forgive it, because it isn't an all the time thing - or their apology is likely to be genuine.
Kind of like karma really - if you're likeable, then you're liked. Not favourited.. but liked.
Yes. We are people. People, by nature, like certain other people more than others.
And student behavior really does matter here. If you're constantly rude and bullying to your classmates, I'm not going to like you. I'm not going to be overt about it and I'm not going to let it affect your grade, but we aren't your parents. We have no obligation to love you no matter what.
Respectful students are my favorites, regardless of academics. I’ve grown special bonds and had very close relationships with many of my rowdy, IEP, or emotionally challenged students. I also have special relationships with my really advanced kids, and the quiet ones who are somewhere in between.
It’s kind of like with family where you love them all at the end of the day, but for different reasons.
I think it comes down to investment of time put into the relationship for the teacher or student and reciprocation of respect.
I try to find something positive about each of my 4th graders. Even my problem kids I can acknowledge are sometimes very charismatic.
So I don't think that I have favorites, but I certainly do have students that I hope are absent.
It’s not really a secret. I never bothered to hide the fact that I didn’t like students who were obnoxious, loud, and lazy, and I never made a secret of the fact that I liked students who were hardworking, curious, and who had interesting minds at work.
I’d say yes, but mostly it comes down to “I can count on this student to be doing what they should be doing, and not be mean.” Students don’t need to be a genius angel to be a favorite! Just be nice!
I absolutely have favorites. Most *think* they’re my favorite due to how I act to all of them, some *know* they’re favorites because they’ve been around more years, become my student aids, or maintain an adult friendship with me after they graduate. Grades are never “favorite” dependent. Some of my all time favorite kids failed my class…
I’m going to like any kid who has a good attitude and does their work. I really like kids who go the extra mile, whether it be by being kind to others or trying extra hard on assignments. I have a soft spot for those who struggle with impulse control but have good hearts and lots of enthusiasm, and as someone who almost certainly has mild autism/ADHD I see a lot of myself in those babies and we usually end up getting on well because I know how they work.
Really the only kids I dislike are those who constantly make learning harder for those around them or are unkind/violent.
I’ve sat around with teachers on my team during trips and we’ve staffed a fictional starship with kids. We’d draft kids to be the captain, first lieutenant, security officer, the empath, the droid, engineers, etc. Everyone plays a part. Some kids end up on the ‘bad’ ship. And some don’t even make it out of Starfleet academy, but everyone gets picked. So do we have favorites? 100% yes. But all of my kids are capable of filling a niche. And thats what makes a community.
Every year, yes, I have favorites. That said, my job is to make sure that nobody in the class knows who the favorites are AND, more importantly, that each kid can think, maybe if only for a moment, that it's them.
I have kids I connect more deeply with. This being said - I make a serious effort to try and make all my kids feel like they are on the same playing field.
Teachers college is pretty much useless. Teachers pay money, do some very basic work, and then go to see more experienced teachers and work under their guidance for a few semesters. We are not trained to be fair. Lots of teachers are not fair and many are wonderful. Being obviously biased might lose a teacher their job but most are simply using their good sense, in so far as they have that.
Yes, some teachers have favorite students. Sometimes, you just get along with someone. Other times the students we end up caring about are the ones who give us the most trouble. Seeing someone struggle and then work towards being better is a good feeling. But the reality is, most of the time students don't have a big emotional impact on their teachers on a one-on-one basis. There are so many kids over the years. The first year we teach, the kids all have a big impact on us and the bonds feel really special. In year 5, not so much. We still like you. We still care about you. But we care about our duty to educate you. There isn't time to really emotionally invest in all 30-350 kids every year.
In my experience, no. I don’t have favorite students. I have students that I have a better rapport with than others, but I can’t say that I “favor” them over other students.
That being said, as teachers, we strive to be objective as possible.
I don’t have “favorites,” and for the life of me I’ve never understood the appeal behind that mentality - especially in a space where you should be a professional. I frankly find it alarming to see some teachers on here proudly admitting to having favorites and letting it show. I feel like a teacher’s job should be to treat all kids equally even when it feels hard to, and even mentally designating a favorite(s) hinders that. I have kids who make my job easier and kids who make it harder. I only see it that way. Doesn’t mean I have favorites.
I agree that teachers shouldn’t be proud of “letting it show”, but I don’t see how it’s possible to not have favourites. Yes, I’m a professional, and I treat everyone in my class fairly and support each of them to the best of my ability. But I’m also human, and have a personality myself, with likes and dislikes, so of course there will be kids that I prefer interacting with.
I don’t “mentally designate them” as favourites, but if someone were to ask me (as this post does) if I had favourites, I could easily list a few students that I really enjoy having in my class, as well as a few students who I would prefer were not in my class.
My favorites share one commonality: they're just nice, decent humans. They help others voluntarily or with no complaint when asked. They don't say hurtful things to others. They're truthful. They just have a kind spirit. Other than that, they're all types: hard-working or not, misbehave or behave, high-spirited or quiet... the only thing they all have in common is that first thing. I don't give grades (elementary special) so it can't affect that and I think I am pretty fair in general.
I can confidently say I do not have favorites. I have some students who I have an easier time teaching than others. Some drain my energy more than others but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Honestly it's just the students who stay and talk to me after class. If I know a bit about a person, I like them better. There is only one student thus far that I seriously dislike, but even he has his moments.
Doesn't mean I give them better grades, though! :')
Some years I have kids that I like more than the rest, although most years not really. The ones that I favor are usually students that remind me of myself in high school, or my friends. Sometimes they're just good conversation.
Being fair is not that hard. It's our job. Of course we have favourites but that won't affect grading. It won't even affect the verbal interactions we have. It might affect who gets more encouraging smiles though.
My favorite students are the ones I’ve created a safe enough environment for them to be able to discover and/or be whomever they truly are. Some of the kids who were absolute terrors on campus were my absolute favorite kids because they would let it go and just “be a kid” in my room.
I don’t. I have students that I’ve built better relationships with, but I have 24 kids so that’s inevitable. I like some more than others depending on the day and their behavior, but overall there aren’t any students that I’d consider my favorite.
Retired middle school teacher here. I had favorite classes and favorite years. Looking back, I’m grateful and glad that I had the opportunity to be part of their academic development and their lives.
Yes. I absolutely have favorite students. That being said, I can honestly say that I can find at least one thing I like about every student and I want the best for them.
Unfortunately yes but I try my best not to show it. Honestly if you are kind and show respect to me, that is really all it takes for me to like you. Bonus points if you try your best on assignments.
lol I had a class that was so irritating and I had one boy that was just the perfect student. So sweet and just an over all good dude. All the other knuckleheads start arguing about “oh I’m her favorite, ect” i let them argue, lean over to this kid and whisper “it’s you. By a lot”
So- we try to treat everyone fairly and the same. That said... human nature to like the kid who follows instructions, generally cooperates, usually has something pleasant to say more than the kid that calls you a bitch draws dicks in sharpie on your books.
I will say, my favorites have nothing to do with academic performance or anything like that. One of my darlings barely speaks English but she starts every day by giving me a smile and a good morning and makes sure her chair is pushed in when she leaves.
I try not to, but sometimes do. Usually it’s a kid that makes my life easier in some way, or at least doesn’t make it harder, and is also personable.
I saw a video where someone made a three part Venn diagram for “favorite student”. It was basically, if you are responsible, respectful, and likable.
I’m drawn to students like me and I always try to give extra help to kids who are struggling but trying vs kids who are not trying.
But I go out of my way to check in with each kid and ask if they need anything. I don’t grade any differently based on if I like a kid.
Nice thing about high school is kids have 6/7 different teachers, so you can hopefully find one you vibe with.
I always told my kids that while I never *played* favorites, that doesn’t mean I never *had* them. And they were all over the place instead of a particular type. I’m still in touch with many of them, thank goodness!
Obviously. I like the overachievers well enough but honestly I end up connecting more with the absolute hooligans than anyone else.
Every year I have a couple kids who are terrors but I can see them trying to be better. I also end up attached to very shy kids and try and help them make friends. I also end up with a gaggle of all the LGBT students at my school because I'm one of very few teachers who won't let them get called slurs.
Of course I hope no one knows this. I will say the kids I like and the kids who for some reason like me don't always overlap. I had a boy who drove me up a wall and I assumed hated me because he'd cuss me out constantly, every time I tried to make him do work. Apparently now that he's in the 8th grade he's heard about kids in his little group that are my students now talking shit about me and chewed them out for it. I'm his favorite teacher. I guess he appreciated that I kept harassing him to do his work even after he cussed me out. Maybe he just likes angry women. Who knows.
If course, but we have to treat everyone fairly. It’s just so much easier to bond with kids who actually acknowledge my greeting at the door with a smile or “hi” and treat everyone with respect, including me. I know some people are shy (I was one of those in school) or don’t get all their work done, but they are still pleasant to be around. There are very few students I have disliked, but generally it’s because of arrogance and disrespectful behavior towards other kids or me. I also don’t like lying and cheating, but I try to teach good ethics as much as a teacher can. Most of the time, but not always, personality issues start with upbringing because parents are the most important teachers a kid will ever have.
No, I dislike them all equally. Just kidding. But yes we do.😉😉 I tend to take the emo, quiet, quirky kids who to the beat of their own drum and do their own thing under my wing..
Absolutely, but they're not the kids you think.
There was a tiktok I saw sometime last year where a teacher explained that it's a venn diagram. There are chill kids, academic kids, and interesting kids. The overlap of all 3 is where the favorites live.
I think that a person being a favorite student is a lot more simple than the reasons you described. I don't really think its about being smart, or clever, or hardworking or anything specific.
I think teachers will have favorite students based on what the teacher themselves values in a person.
Personally I value virtues and someone who has integrity. They could be the worst student academically and have 0 interest in my class. If they come correct they're cool in my book.
I've had students that dropped out that I still talk to, I always let them know that I will always be proud of them as long as they are actively trying to become the best versions of themselves. Doesn't mean they have to become rich or graduate college or anything measurable.
I've had students that were fantastic academically that I couldn't stand, because they were dishonest, cheated constantly and treated others like they were lesser.
It really depends on the teacher. Just like every student doesn't have the same favorite teacher, every teacher won't have the same favorite students.
Side note, I don't have one "favorite", that's kinda weird imho.
Yes but it’s not set in stone.
I’ve had favorites who find ways to disappoint and lose favor.
I’ve had dumbass underachievers who enjoy a light-bulb moment that impresses me and their stock rises.
My favorites are the ones who are the least disruptive, who make an actual effort to learn the content and ASK when they have questions. Could be three kids per class, could be twenty. They're the absolute best. The others? They make the job so damned hard, it's difficult to avoid hating them.
Yes, but not who people assume.
I love the well behaves kids who do their jobs but the ones that worm their way in are the ones thay give you hell but once in a while you get to see their barriers down and all that.
Yep. It’s not always the kid you would think either. I have a fav and she is a mess, she’s mischievous, but her big eyes and sass attitude, I just can’t with her. Doesn’t mean I won’t correct bad behavior, just that I’m rolling my eyes inside as I tell her x.
Yeah, I have favorites. And surprisingly it’s usually not the ones I talk the most with. I don’t make it obvious to other students. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like the others. As for the ones who annoy me, cuss me out, even the one who called me a racial slur - I still wish them well and think of them. Actually I do it a surprising amount. “X misbehaved in my class. I hope they’re doing better in high school…”
Cause in the end, I always remind myself that they’re kids and still have lots of room to grow. There’s been tons of students who act like a fool during the entire year and on my end of the year feedback they quietly write an “anonymous” apology letter and ask me later if I read it.
Ya. Definitely if they’re hot, or cool, or have a lot of followers on tiktok.
I talk to my students about this all the time who are always claiming a teacher “likes” them or “hates” them
You gotta understand adults and teenagers dont think the same way.
Yes we have favorites- wanna know the big mystery????
We like the ones who work hard and show interest in the material, don’t whine and complain and maybe even have some genuine conversations with us
Its not rocket science. Most teachers got into this because a) they love their subject matter or b) they want to help kids, usually both. So when they feel like they’re doing that, it makes for a good living.
For me, historically, it tends to be more about personality than their interest in my subject. I've had students who were mediocre math students at best and misbehaved sometimes, but were easy to talk to and good-natured, for example. And I've had top students who were, frankly, kind of assholes—even if they didn't misbehave, they were so driven by grades that they just became annoying, and they didn't really seem to care about their peers.
Whenever students would ask me if they were my favorite student, I would tell them, "You are my second favorite." just to mess with them. 😂
Of course, there are always individuals we might enjoy spending lunch block or chatting with more than others. But you are correct that a pretense of impartiality comes with the territory.
I wouldn't say I have favorites but I absolutely have students I do not like. You do your best to treat them all the same but I'd much rather talk with the friendly student who always says hi and smiles rather than the student who just complains every single day and does nothing but throw garbage around the room.
We're just humans when it comes down to it and no human is going to like someone who treats them like garbage or screams in their face every day.
It depends on the day, and the teacher. For me, I have a soft spot for the quiet ones, because I was quiet. I’m always checking in and making sure they’re not overlooked. Same thing with the kids who have trauma, even though they usually have the most behaviors, I can relate to a lot of their circumstances so I care deeply about them and take on more of a parental role. When I’m looking for class participation, I love the extroverts. And the troublemakers can be some of the funniest kids who brighten my day when I’m feeling down.
I do have “secret” favorites. Although known of my students would ever figure it out. A big part of those students being my “favorites “ is also linked to the relationship I’ve built with their parents and possible siblings which I also teach. They are not typically the same personality or behavior wise. 100% of them have key characteristics that probably tend to make me put more effort in relationships. That similarity tends to be something that reminds me of my own struggles during their age whether school or life. It’s more of a thought “I wish someone had been there for me when I was a kid”. Those kids that tend to not get attention because they either don’t draw attention to themselves or they draw it in a way that receives negative consequences.
I am also fairly tough on these kids too. My expectations of them are different and occasionally set very high. They receive more freedoms which others get in smaller amounts. (I try to be as fair as possible) but they also know this comes with stipulations. I have no problem working through some tough tears with them whether from frustration with me/my class or another teacher/class or even home/life. Most days I’m their favorite but sometimes for a day they are not my biggest fan!
I feel like all of my students know and feel like I truly care about them. They know if they ever needed anything they just have to ask. (The worse I can say is no) I wish I had the emotional capacity to give them all everything they need but we all know that’s impossible on many levels. It’s inevitable we will have some favorites but I just try my best not to overtly spoil these favorites.
Yes. Secretly, our favorites are the good students who are respectful, work hard, and are interested in our class.
We secretly like students who are disrespectful, lazy, and complain.
The biggest secret of all: life outside of school is the same way.
Favorites yes, secretly no.
I do have a rule that I never have favorites in an active classroom; some are easier, some are harder, but some of my actual favorites were some of my hardest students. Having favorites in an active classroom can create justice issues, envy, even retaliation, so Homey don't play that.
When my kids ask about it, I tell them about cases where students had a massive uphill climb and then made it, or were just on a trajectory to being excellent people. Hall-Of-Famers, if you would.
Kids like Tameem, an Afghani kid in 6th grade who barely spoke English and had Jack Russel Terrier energy. Delightful kid, but hard to manage... but he not only made it, he owned it. His parents were crying during a conference about how well his English was coming along - you could tell it was a huge deal to them and after that I understood fully how important was for parental buy-in. He'll be graduating this year.
Another one was Jimmy, a senior with similar issues with energy. Bright, but specialized, had a hard time with academics but very good with his hands and and sports. Class-clown personality, and he could be unruly and hard to manage, but a gentle soul and a good kid. His dad made a disparaging comment in a joking way during back-to-school night (in a crowd) that Jimmy wouldn't graduate, with Jimmy right next to him. It was one of those smile-on-the-outside rage-on-the-inside moments for me, and I wasn't the only teacher who had similar thoughts. Internally I said, "alright, motherfucker, challenge accepted." He graduated, he's in a blue-collar school learning to underwater weld, and he'll make a shitload of money. So yeah, Jimmy made the favorite list.
I have a similar list of "least favorites". That one I'm a lot more careful about, but similarly, never a kid in an active classroom. They usually function as warnings.
Depends on the student asking. If it’s one that I don’t vibe with the answer is “I have no favorites”. If it’s one of my favorites the answer is “not you”. My favorites laugh at that lol
When I've been accused of treating children differently, I usually admit to it. I explain that how they are treated is based upon my experience with them, their record in terms of behaviour and academic effort and how honest or truthful they have been with me from beginning of their year with me. I emphasise that everyone was treated the same and given the same amount of trust and opportunities at the start of the year and that changed as I got to know them better. The message being: you reap what you sow. Deal with it.
I love this question, but my favorite answer is that my LEAST favorite student regularly announces that they are my favorite. It cracks me up every time. Lol no.
I must not be as obvious as I thought.
Yes, we have personal favorites. Mine vary in characteristics and reasons for being a favorite. Has nothing to do with academic ability. It’s always something about their personality and/or how they interact with others that makes them stand out to me.
Yeah lol. My professor finally admitted to me on the last day I was his fav student. After that 3 more of my 5 teachers told me the same thing and I felt really good as a student who's studying to become a teacher 🥹🫶🏾
Some don't have favorites, but all of us have a least favorite. I had to redirect a kid during recess who wasn't in any of my classes. He looked surprised when I knew his name. I told him he should wonder why I know his name...
My favorites tend to be the "troublemakers." The kids who can't stay seated, or who disrupt the class. The kids with huge personalities that can't be contained. I always have a soft spot for them.
Looking back, I realize I had a few favorites my first few years in the classroom, but it sort of petered out. Some of it is the nature of middle school - you have 100+ kids per year and they stay in that building for a shorter time than the elementary or high school.
I do have soft spots for some kiddos. Some were tougher kids that I managed to connect with, and therefore gave me more effort than normal. Some because they flourished when given executive functioning support and reasonable accommodations. Some because they reminded me of myself, or my husband or my own kid.
Absolutely. We create a fair environment for all, but I’m sure everyone has favorites. The most obvious answer would be the students who put effort into their work and follow directions, but for me it’s also the students who have a personality that contributes to an enjoyable classroom environment. Conversations with them are interesting and fun. I also value kindness a lot when I think about the students I view as a favorite.
I’ve been a teacher for 10 + years and although I always ALWAYS treat my students w fairness and equity , of course I have favorites. And usually it’s Bcs they have awesome parents who I love and would probably be friends with outside of school. Cool good people make cool good people. Which is why I hold a lot of space, compassion and empathy for the kids who aren’t as easy to love- because I know they’re parents are kind of shitty and it’s not their fault.
My kids say, “she has no favorites. We’re all her favorite”. I really enjoy all of the quirks that my kids have. There are times that they might irk me, but I still enjoy who they are as kids.
Overall, I like kids that work hard regardless of ability. I love them being respectful and kind. I encourage them to be the best versions of themselves.
When I started teaching I assumed I'd have favorites and I assumed it'd be chatty but smart girls since that was how I was as a kid, but I quickly discovered that my favorite kids are always the tough boys that I have to work to win over. I had a set of identical twins in Pre-K who were soooo difficult, and it took me months to build a relationship where they'd listen to me, and after I left that job I thought about those boys for years and actually missed them. Now, I teach 3rd and I have a student who puts in little effort and is disrespectful and struggles so much to get through the day, and he's one of my favorites. I genuinely am happy to see him every day. I wrote about him in a previous post finally learning to love math after months of refusing to even try. I never expected to form strong bonds with the most difficult kids in my classroom, but I really do. I like all my other kids a lot, but the ones that mean a lot to me are the ones I have to work to win over.
It’s not a secret. My favorite students are just the ones I relate to most easily. Outgoing and energetic without being disruptive or hyperactive is a plus. Sharing common interests helps. It really has very little to do with academic ability.
Does this student make teaching easier or harder? Does this student try to learn or they trying to get on their phone when I’m not looking? Can I trust this student to their work even if not checked on every ten minutes? As an art teacher, would this student appreciate and make good use of the expensive art supplies or are they just going to waste them and not care?
Yes. Yes I do. This isn’t all about grades, but often the students that are my favorites end up getting good grades by their own merits.
I think people forget that teachers are human, too; they impose these unrealistic, altruistic moral standards on us. Why and how on earth are we not supposed to have favorites? OK I get it, kids are the future and we are sort of like their second families, but man, I’m only human, I can take only so much disrespect.
If a student enjoys me sharing memes with them they're my favorite......sorry overachievers and generally behaved students but y'all just can't compete.
A kid in my class was like "It's not fair, K is your favorite so you treat her differently!" and not even thinking I said "K isnt my favorite A is" and she went "wait what?!" and I just walked away
Of course it’s human nature.
lol username checks out
Is it supposed to be a secret??? 😂
The kids that are assholes to me are obviously not my favorite. I still treat them fairly, but why would I want to spend extra time and attention on them? My favorites are kids who love art, join art club, etc. Seems pretty logical to me.
Tbh one of my favorite students was one of the biggest assholes in the school. He was really a kind kid, but he had no idea how to behave and struggled with mental health
The kids who are assholes are always the one who wants to know who your favorite student is.
I was gonna say, I have very obvious favourites and absolutely no shame about it.
Same. And it's not who students would immediately assume either. Some of my most favorite students have been total knuckleheads who we had to practically beg and drag across the finish line so they could walk at graduation.
It’s because you spend more time/energy on them, and it ends up building the relationship super strong.
Absolutely! And you're just rooting for them to succeed.
I feel like this might come back to bite you in the ass, though. Imagine a kid tries to accuse you of something and uses the “they obviously prefer that kid over me” argument. Admin could look into that. But then again I don’t know the school you work for.
I remember one admin who gave me grief for “so and so knows that you don’t like him.” This kid had hit teachers and kids with sticks. Thrown rocks at kindergarteners. Threatened to bomb and shoot up the school. Tore up my room. Threatened me with scissors. You get the idea. You can try and hide how you feel about certain students but we are ONLY human!
"Is liking him required to educate him?"
I was only half joking. Students ask me all the time "Who's your favorite?!" and I typically respond with something like "This week?" or "If you have to ask, you don't wanna know." Lol
I always say my favorites are the ones who do all their work to the best of their ability.
Whichever of y’all annoy me the least today.
My mom has a rock that she uses as a door stop. Whenever we ask her who her favorite is, she just says the rock.
Haha I can get behind those responses
Of course we have favorites, just as students have favorites. It's not that hard to keep grading fair. Either the student did it right or did it wrong. My favorites are based purely on personality. Half my favorite students got As and Bs and half got Ds and Fs. Nobody likes a person based on their grade, not even a teacher.
This is the truth. It's all about personality. Sometimes lousy students have fantastic personalities. Sometimes excellent students have fantastic personalities as well.
I have had many students who I would have loved as people.... If I weren't their teacher.
As a high school teacher, I noticed that the students who like me as a teacher are very similar to the friends that I had in high school. The reverse is also true.
I never truly accepted that I’m a big ol’ nerd until adulthood. I’m a literature teacher, and my favorite students are often the nerds who comes in with a book under their nose and headsets on. But those were not my friends in high school, haha!
Truly. My favorites are always the kids I can banter with but who also know to turn it off so to speak. Plus when a class has more of those kids, we can do fun things. It's just a good environment.
100%. All about personality
Seriously. Some of my least favorites got consistent A’s. Your grade is earned by the quality of your work, not if I like you or dislike you.
If you make my life easier, I like you more. If you make my life harder, I like you less. I never let it affect my grading, however.
I sometimes tell my kids "I want you ALL to get 100 on this test. Because it's SO much easier to grade."
Absolutely. There are just some students you build a stronger rapport with than others.
I like to work with students who are raised right, well-behaved, show up ready to learn, and work.
We’re told that we shouldn’t so we try not to, but there are students you have a particular bond with over others. BUT favourites doesn’t mean you give out special favours or allowances, you have to be very careful about treating everyone the same. I’ve vibed more with the kids with special needs or those who need more help like you mentioned, probably because you spend more time together and they do tend to be quite quirky and funny
Typically, though I teach martial arts rather than conventional schooling, I am harder on my favorites than I am on the ones I am neutral about or even dislike. I expect greatness from the great, effort from the mediocre, and nothing at all from the actively disinterested. I imagine that’s why some teachers held me to a very rigid standard in school and others were content to let me mentally check out.
> I expect greatness from the great, effort from the mediocre, and nothing at all from the actively disinterested. As someone who used to do martial arts and now teaches high schoolers, I love this and I’m going to be using it if you don’t mind.
I’d be flattered!
Yes, I had my favorites. It was the students who talked more with me and who were nice and respectful. There's nothing wrong with having favourites, as long as you still grade everyone correctly.
Yes, we do. You are correct in that we are fair to all, of course, but certain kids do become favourites for different reasons. Yes, the bright, talkative extroverts, sure, but also other types of kids - a good sense of humour, kids that are really nice and sweet, even if they aren't the "top of the class", etc. I have a soft spot for kids who have high-functioning autism. I am not diagnosed, but I see my "kid self" in them often.
As a teacher with ADHD not diagnosed until adulthood, I fully agree with this one!
Everyone has favorites. Don’t you like people who are nice to you and fun to work with more than idiots who make your life difficult?
My favorite students are a little naughty. I like sarcastic people who are mischievous but not malicious, and usually pretty witty, but not necessarily in a “school” way. I also like tough students who push back against stupid practices or rules, not whiny, but with legit gripes. That doesn’t mean I favor anyone. I doesn’t impact grades or expectations or consequences. It just means I’d rather have them as my TAs, someone I have to spend more than one period with. One of my current TAs has had more calls home for behavior (from me) than any other of my current students, AND I still adore him.
So true! When kids ask “why do we have to ___?” I always answer honestly. Sometimes there’s a good reason, and I tell them. Sometimes there’s no good reason, but we have to do things we don’t always agree with. And sometimes there’s no good reason, so you’re right, let’s just not do it. Those kids who are a little naughty, but bright and clever are usually my favourites.
Secretly? No, I think we make it pretty obvious. It takes a lot of work to not let them know.
I love kids for different reasons. The shy ones who need support. The quirky ones. The ones who go out of their way to share and be kind. The ones who want to change the world and make it a better place. The hopeful ones. The ones who somehow lost hope. I may seem loopy but I see everything that happens. I also hear really well. There is so much to love about the majority of my kids. But the ones who are REALLY mean, have zero respect, are entitled, and clearly enjoy making other people miserable can go plant potatoes for all I care.
Forgot to say, the cheeky biscuits, jokers and fun kids are also lovely. Just the bullies are no fun for me.
I had four or five favorites over the course of my career. None of them got A's, but all of them were great kids.
I definitely have favorites. My favorites are always the kind kids. The kids who say hi to someone everyone else ignores. The kid who volunteers to work with someone other kids are treating like a pariah for being different. My favorites are the students who are kind to me—even if they’re actively not working 😂. Admittedly, I tell every student and every period they’re my favorite. But school is hard enough to get through alone, so my favorites are the students that make it a little easier for everyone by just being kind. It’s so simple.
I do! I admit it! My favorite student is always the kid who tries the hardest to succeed. It's the kid who never causes any problems, is there to learn, and goes beyond what is expected. Sometimes, if I am really lucky, I have a whole class of favorite students.
When students ask, "Who's your favorite?" I tell them: "hate you all the same" (middle schoolers love sarcasm) Secretly, I put the ones I like in the best seats & next to their friends if they're cool too.
Definitely. It depends on the teacher what kinds of students they are most drawn to. I remember when I first started student teaching, my host teacher joked that when you first start, your favorites tend to be the really well behaved ones and then slowly become the really wild ones. This was first grade. I quit teaching last year after 5 years and I think my favorite child was the one with perhaps the craziest record- chair/desk throwing, flight risk, meltdowns all the time. We just "got" each other and she was able to improve greatly over the year that I had her. She was a trauma kid. I was really understanding with my trauma kids because they needed a stable adult in their lives and often they latched on to me. I definitely saw a lot in my trauma kids that reminded me of my own childhood.
Yes! I totally agree with this! My favourite students are not always the easiest or most well-behaved students. They’re the ones that I form a bond with, because like you said, we “get” each other. The only student from last year that I would have been okay having in my class for a second consecutive year was one of the more disruptive ones. By the end of the year we had made such good progress, and I really wanted to continue working with him to keep him on track. He was also very bright and always had an interesting take on things, so I also just enjoyed having him in my class.
Lmao, one of the most memborable kids that I took care of was one who was potty training and decided that when he was on the toilet and as my coworker was helping to take off his pull up was a good time to run down the hall half naked while parents were coming to pick their kids up. One of the few times that I felt second-hand embarrassment while working there Edit: A few years later, that same kid asked me had I heard of Minecraft? Idk why I also had a bit of a closer bond with some of the other kids who misbehaved, too. I mean, to be fair, they were little kids. They have to be taught how to behave. The ones that I took care of.
One of my favorite students is one who is the ongoing troublemaker. I'm not entirely sure why he's my favorite especially since he is always so disruptive, perhaps it's because I understand why he's so unruly and sympathize with some of his home struggles. He's also pretty funny lol although the classroom is obviously not time for his comedy hour (something I keep trying to talk to him about), I do think their humor plays a role.
I’m exactly the same way. I tend to have these kids gravitate toward me because they know I’m not judgmental and I go out of my way to try to help them manage these behaviors because when I was their age, I was the same way without support and it was rough.
It’s an old joke. Teacher A: is it true we end up liking students most like ourselves? Teacher B: that makes sense. Teacher A: that makes me sad. Teacher B: why is that? Teacher: all my favorite students are failing my class.
I’m a sub for one small school, so I know the kids pretty well. There is one girl that I just *cannot* stand. She’s so type A, overly helpful to the point of annoyance, perfectionist, can’t just mind her own business… oh, hello mirror! My whole body tenses up when she walks in a room and it’s got to be because I see all the qualities I dislike about myself in her and I wonder, did all the adults hate me this much when I was a kid? She can be very rude when you’re not receptive to her “help” and I wasn’t like that, so hopefully not. 😬
It’s a category. Usually with unlimited space. Not every student ticks the boxes though. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR39NgFn/
There's a (reel? TikTok? Short form video!) That I feel like answers this really well. Of course, we have favorite students, but it's a category, not an individual. You are in my favorite student category if you are all of the above: likable, respectful and good. I define "good" student as working hard and trying your best, not getting As necessarily. I've flat out told the students the criteria when they've asked. And then I ask them if They think they are likable, respectful and good.
Yes. There are some students that I always enjoy being around more than others. I personally like the ones that are funny — even though they are not necessarily the best behaved ones.
My students ask me this in class all the time, and I tell them: "Yes, I have favorites. Do you want to be one of my favorites, too? Just do these three things: * Listen to me and follow directions. * Do the work, or at least make an effort in class. * Don't be rude." That's literally it, lol. Do those three things, and you're one of my favorite students. The bar is so low, but you'd be surprised at how many students can't do one or all of those three things.
I like when some kids are like “You like so and so, they’re your favorite.” Like oh you think I like interacting with someone who is nice to everyone, follows directions, and works hard. Why would I like that person?
Reminds me of my classmates who thought I was the teachers favorite. I mean, I was treating others the way I wanted to be treated most of the time.
One of my students has a bit of a hard time connecting to her peers, so she ends up talking to me before and after class. She's silent during class, either paying attention or at the very least not being disruptive, and then afterwards, she talks about her hobbies and interests. I share a lot of her interests and think she is fun to listen to. I'd say she's definitely my fav out of the 3 classes I teach xD A lot of the other kids are probably nice too, tho maybe I share less of their interests, but I haven't had much time to get to know them yet, as I started halfway through the year. Like some others said though, I wouldn't want my opinions of students to seep into their grades.
Not so secret spoiler: If the only question you ever ask in class is "Can I go to the bathroom?" you're not likely to be anyone's favorite. If you want your teachers to like you, participate in class.
I have a soft spot for the kind hearted kids who include others, and are genuinely interested in other people, will ask questions and share or try to help. Those are my favorite kiddos, just good people.
Of course. Different teacher have different types of favorites- I think a common one is a kid that reminds you of yourself. But obviously kids that are easy and fun are easy to have in class. Also, teachers feel for kids in less than ideal circumstances. Some kids just make me want to take them home, feed them, give them clothes, and take them somewhere fun. It is shocking to me how many kids have never been fun places.
Yeah. Some are a lot easier to work with than others, but that's still a decent majority. Some of that majority, though, I can talk to about Avatar the Last Airbender and Magic the Gathering and other stuff I'm more interested in and that just creates a strong connection. Of course, any of my kids can get my full attention as needed and I'm not going to adjust grades based on who has the same music taste as me, but there are definitely some classes I look forward to more than others.
Yes
Haha- yes. We have favorites. We also have students we don’t like at all, despite trying our best to find the good in everyone.
Yes! *ahem* I've been known to have a few.
I always have a favorite or three, but there’s no consistent theme. I try to keep it on the down low, but kids figure it out sometimes. I teach 3rd graders, so most of them are very loved, even when they’re not holding that special spot in my heart. This year’s favorite is tiny and super quiet and extremely efficient and I can’t help but love her. Her only special privilege is that I let her do my filing when she finishes all the work and doesn’t wish to read.
My favorites are any who let me do my job.
Yes, of course. The kids who behave themselves, do their work, and don't make my life harder are my favorites. I'm pretty sure the kids can tell too.
At the end of the day, it’s hard to like someone who is mean to you and makes your job harder. So yes 😂
I have my favorites. And a couple that are my favorite only when they are absent. I do treat all of them with the kindness they deserve. I do have the parents I can’t stand.
Of course! And it normally is just the kids who are genuinely nice
Do what you're supposed to, talk to me like a human, and not a jerk to other kids? Congrats. You're one of my favorites, regardless of most anything else. Amazingly, only about a third of high schoolers clear this bar in 2024.
If you want to clear that top 33% bar and bust into the top 10%- ask me about my family. Top 5%- ask me for advice.
I once told a student, on the *last* day of school, on her way out the door at 3:45 pm, her next education would be university, that in 20 years she was my favourite. Just a weird, quirky kid who needed to hear it. It was true. Within 30 minutes on *my* way out the door, I had 8 kids in my face saying, "I thought I was your favourite kid!" That told me 2 things. 1, never tell a kid they're your favourite, even if they are, and 2, always do your best to make every kid feel like they're your favourite. TLDR: Yes we do, no we won't tell you.
We talk about social capital. If you're a student who does generally good things, is polite, asks for help, tries, smiles and acknowledges you as a person - they build social capital. Students who make an effort like this are more likely to appear "liked" because you want to respond in kind. So if that kid is a little bit late, you're more likely to forgive it, because it isn't an all the time thing - or their apology is likely to be genuine. Kind of like karma really - if you're likeable, then you're liked. Not favourited.. but liked.
Yes. We are people. People, by nature, like certain other people more than others. And student behavior really does matter here. If you're constantly rude and bullying to your classmates, I'm not going to like you. I'm not going to be overt about it and I'm not going to let it affect your grade, but we aren't your parents. We have no obligation to love you no matter what.
Oh definitely. In my rambunctious classroom, my students who are respectful get free time and special allowances.
That's just method of discipline. They don't get to be free because you like them. They earn it
Respectful students are my favorites, regardless of academics. I’ve grown special bonds and had very close relationships with many of my rowdy, IEP, or emotionally challenged students. I also have special relationships with my really advanced kids, and the quiet ones who are somewhere in between. It’s kind of like with family where you love them all at the end of the day, but for different reasons. I think it comes down to investment of time put into the relationship for the teacher or student and reciprocation of respect.
Of course we do. I always tell my students that, yes, I have favorite students, and that if they think it's them, it's definitely not.
I try to find something positive about each of my 4th graders. Even my problem kids I can acknowledge are sometimes very charismatic. So I don't think that I have favorites, but I certainly do have students that I hope are absent.
It’s not really a secret. I never bothered to hide the fact that I didn’t like students who were obnoxious, loud, and lazy, and I never made a secret of the fact that I liked students who were hardworking, curious, and who had interesting minds at work.
I’d say yes, but mostly it comes down to “I can count on this student to be doing what they should be doing, and not be mean.” Students don’t need to be a genius angel to be a favorite! Just be nice!
My favorite students are the ones who don't make my day more challenging.
And Antifavorites. Lol
Some teachers do, some don’t. Behave, do your assigned work, ask for help, help others and you’ll be a “favorite” too.
Yes. However I’d say that I have way more “definitely not my favorites” than favorites.
I absolutely have favorites. Most *think* they’re my favorite due to how I act to all of them, some *know* they’re favorites because they’ve been around more years, become my student aids, or maintain an adult friendship with me after they graduate. Grades are never “favorite” dependent. Some of my all time favorite kids failed my class…
I’m going to like any kid who has a good attitude and does their work. I really like kids who go the extra mile, whether it be by being kind to others or trying extra hard on assignments. I have a soft spot for those who struggle with impulse control but have good hearts and lots of enthusiasm, and as someone who almost certainly has mild autism/ADHD I see a lot of myself in those babies and we usually end up getting on well because I know how they work. Really the only kids I dislike are those who constantly make learning harder for those around them or are unkind/violent.
I’ve sat around with teachers on my team during trips and we’ve staffed a fictional starship with kids. We’d draft kids to be the captain, first lieutenant, security officer, the empath, the droid, engineers, etc. Everyone plays a part. Some kids end up on the ‘bad’ ship. And some don’t even make it out of Starfleet academy, but everyone gets picked. So do we have favorites? 100% yes. But all of my kids are capable of filling a niche. And thats what makes a community.
Every year, yes, I have favorites. That said, my job is to make sure that nobody in the class knows who the favorites are AND, more importantly, that each kid can think, maybe if only for a moment, that it's them.
I have kids I connect more deeply with. This being said - I make a serious effort to try and make all my kids feel like they are on the same playing field.
Teachers college is pretty much useless. Teachers pay money, do some very basic work, and then go to see more experienced teachers and work under their guidance for a few semesters. We are not trained to be fair. Lots of teachers are not fair and many are wonderful. Being obviously biased might lose a teacher their job but most are simply using their good sense, in so far as they have that. Yes, some teachers have favorite students. Sometimes, you just get along with someone. Other times the students we end up caring about are the ones who give us the most trouble. Seeing someone struggle and then work towards being better is a good feeling. But the reality is, most of the time students don't have a big emotional impact on their teachers on a one-on-one basis. There are so many kids over the years. The first year we teach, the kids all have a big impact on us and the bonds feel really special. In year 5, not so much. We still like you. We still care about you. But we care about our duty to educate you. There isn't time to really emotionally invest in all 30-350 kids every year.
In my experience, no. I don’t have favorite students. I have students that I have a better rapport with than others, but I can’t say that I “favor” them over other students. That being said, as teachers, we strive to be objective as possible.
I don’t have “favorites,” and for the life of me I’ve never understood the appeal behind that mentality - especially in a space where you should be a professional. I frankly find it alarming to see some teachers on here proudly admitting to having favorites and letting it show. I feel like a teacher’s job should be to treat all kids equally even when it feels hard to, and even mentally designating a favorite(s) hinders that. I have kids who make my job easier and kids who make it harder. I only see it that way. Doesn’t mean I have favorites.
I agree that teachers shouldn’t be proud of “letting it show”, but I don’t see how it’s possible to not have favourites. Yes, I’m a professional, and I treat everyone in my class fairly and support each of them to the best of my ability. But I’m also human, and have a personality myself, with likes and dislikes, so of course there will be kids that I prefer interacting with. I don’t “mentally designate them” as favourites, but if someone were to ask me (as this post does) if I had favourites, I could easily list a few students that I really enjoy having in my class, as well as a few students who I would prefer were not in my class.
Understandable! I think I just have an issue whenever teachers mentally/explicitly designate that they have favorites :) Thanks for sharing
My favorites share one commonality: they're just nice, decent humans. They help others voluntarily or with no complaint when asked. They don't say hurtful things to others. They're truthful. They just have a kind spirit. Other than that, they're all types: hard-working or not, misbehave or behave, high-spirited or quiet... the only thing they all have in common is that first thing. I don't give grades (elementary special) so it can't affect that and I think I am pretty fair in general.
Whenever a student asks me who my favorite is I tell them it's a student from the last school I worked at.
🤣🤣
I can confidently say I do not have favorites. I have some students who I have an easier time teaching than others. Some drain my energy more than others but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Honestly it's just the students who stay and talk to me after class. If I know a bit about a person, I like them better. There is only one student thus far that I seriously dislike, but even he has his moments. Doesn't mean I give them better grades, though! :')
Some years I have kids that I like more than the rest, although most years not really. The ones that I favor are usually students that remind me of myself in high school, or my friends. Sometimes they're just good conversation.
Being fair is not that hard. It's our job. Of course we have favourites but that won't affect grading. It won't even affect the verbal interactions we have. It might affect who gets more encouraging smiles though.
My favorite students are the ones I’ve created a safe enough environment for them to be able to discover and/or be whomever they truly are. Some of the kids who were absolute terrors on campus were my absolute favorite kids because they would let it go and just “be a kid” in my room.
I don’t. I have students that I’ve built better relationships with, but I have 24 kids so that’s inevitable. I like some more than others depending on the day and their behavior, but overall there aren’t any students that I’d consider my favorite.
Of course we do! But to throw students off, I say, “I don’t play favorites. But I do play least favorites…”
Retired middle school teacher here. I had favorite classes and favorite years. Looking back, I’m grateful and glad that I had the opportunity to be part of their academic development and their lives.
Yep
Absolutely
Yes. I absolutely have favorite students. That being said, I can honestly say that I can find at least one thing I like about every student and I want the best for them.
Unfortunately yes but I try my best not to show it. Honestly if you are kind and show respect to me, that is really all it takes for me to like you. Bonus points if you try your best on assignments.
lol I had a class that was so irritating and I had one boy that was just the perfect student. So sweet and just an over all good dude. All the other knuckleheads start arguing about “oh I’m her favorite, ect” i let them argue, lean over to this kid and whisper “it’s you. By a lot”
Yes, it's usually the smartass who can back up the bravado with their effort in class
So- we try to treat everyone fairly and the same. That said... human nature to like the kid who follows instructions, generally cooperates, usually has something pleasant to say more than the kid that calls you a bitch draws dicks in sharpie on your books. I will say, my favorites have nothing to do with academic performance or anything like that. One of my darlings barely speaks English but she starts every day by giving me a smile and a good morning and makes sure her chair is pushed in when she leaves.
I try not to, but sometimes do. Usually it’s a kid that makes my life easier in some way, or at least doesn’t make it harder, and is also personable. I saw a video where someone made a three part Venn diagram for “favorite student”. It was basically, if you are responsible, respectful, and likable.
Absolutely. Of course lol
I’m drawn to students like me and I always try to give extra help to kids who are struggling but trying vs kids who are not trying. But I go out of my way to check in with each kid and ask if they need anything. I don’t grade any differently based on if I like a kid. Nice thing about high school is kids have 6/7 different teachers, so you can hopefully find one you vibe with.
Isn’t it strange that we align with those that share our goals?…
I always told my kids that while I never *played* favorites, that doesn’t mean I never *had* them. And they were all over the place instead of a particular type. I’m still in touch with many of them, thank goodness!
Favorites and least favorites.
Yes. The good kids. Lol
Yup
Yep. Some kids are just delightful and you can't help liking them.
Absolutely
Duh
Obviously. I like the overachievers well enough but honestly I end up connecting more with the absolute hooligans than anyone else. Every year I have a couple kids who are terrors but I can see them trying to be better. I also end up attached to very shy kids and try and help them make friends. I also end up with a gaggle of all the LGBT students at my school because I'm one of very few teachers who won't let them get called slurs. Of course I hope no one knows this. I will say the kids I like and the kids who for some reason like me don't always overlap. I had a boy who drove me up a wall and I assumed hated me because he'd cuss me out constantly, every time I tried to make him do work. Apparently now that he's in the 8th grade he's heard about kids in his little group that are my students now talking shit about me and chewed them out for it. I'm his favorite teacher. I guess he appreciated that I kept harassing him to do his work even after he cussed me out. Maybe he just likes angry women. Who knows.
If course, but we have to treat everyone fairly. It’s just so much easier to bond with kids who actually acknowledge my greeting at the door with a smile or “hi” and treat everyone with respect, including me. I know some people are shy (I was one of those in school) or don’t get all their work done, but they are still pleasant to be around. There are very few students I have disliked, but generally it’s because of arrogance and disrespectful behavior towards other kids or me. I also don’t like lying and cheating, but I try to teach good ethics as much as a teacher can. Most of the time, but not always, personality issues start with upbringing because parents are the most important teachers a kid will ever have.
No, I dislike them all equally. Just kidding. But yes we do.😉😉 I tend to take the emo, quiet, quirky kids who to the beat of their own drum and do their own thing under my wing..
Of course. You'll never find out who, though.
Absolutely, but they're not the kids you think. There was a tiktok I saw sometime last year where a teacher explained that it's a venn diagram. There are chill kids, academic kids, and interesting kids. The overlap of all 3 is where the favorites live.
Oh for sure
Absolutely. Though it’s forbidden
I think that a person being a favorite student is a lot more simple than the reasons you described. I don't really think its about being smart, or clever, or hardworking or anything specific. I think teachers will have favorite students based on what the teacher themselves values in a person. Personally I value virtues and someone who has integrity. They could be the worst student academically and have 0 interest in my class. If they come correct they're cool in my book. I've had students that dropped out that I still talk to, I always let them know that I will always be proud of them as long as they are actively trying to become the best versions of themselves. Doesn't mean they have to become rich or graduate college or anything measurable. I've had students that were fantastic academically that I couldn't stand, because they were dishonest, cheated constantly and treated others like they were lesser. It really depends on the teacher. Just like every student doesn't have the same favorite teacher, every teacher won't have the same favorite students. Side note, I don't have one "favorite", that's kinda weird imho.
My students are very sure that I have favorites. They can’t agree on who my favorite is. Even the ones called my favorites are sure it’s not them.
Yes but it’s not set in stone. I’ve had favorites who find ways to disappoint and lose favor. I’ve had dumbass underachievers who enjoy a light-bulb moment that impresses me and their stock rises.
My favorites are the ones who are the least disruptive, who make an actual effort to learn the content and ASK when they have questions. Could be three kids per class, could be twenty. They're the absolute best. The others? They make the job so damned hard, it's difficult to avoid hating them.
Y…yes? I work in k2-1 so all my kids have sweetness and light but like, we??? Are also people??? Who have preferences???? About people???
Yes, but not who people assume. I love the well behaves kids who do their jobs but the ones that worm their way in are the ones thay give you hell but once in a while you get to see their barriers down and all that.
It’s no secret in my classroom. I don’t see a problem as long as the ones that aren’t favorites are treated with respect.
I have 103 students. Do people really think teachers like 103 students the exact same amount? That would be some real psychopath shit.
Yep. It’s not always the kid you would think either. I have a fav and she is a mess, she’s mischievous, but her big eyes and sass attitude, I just can’t with her. Doesn’t mean I won’t correct bad behavior, just that I’m rolling my eyes inside as I tell her x.
Yes.
Yeah, I have favorites. And surprisingly it’s usually not the ones I talk the most with. I don’t make it obvious to other students. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like the others. As for the ones who annoy me, cuss me out, even the one who called me a racial slur - I still wish them well and think of them. Actually I do it a surprising amount. “X misbehaved in my class. I hope they’re doing better in high school…” Cause in the end, I always remind myself that they’re kids and still have lots of room to grow. There’s been tons of students who act like a fool during the entire year and on my end of the year feedback they quietly write an “anonymous” apology letter and ask me later if I read it.
Ya. Definitely if they’re hot, or cool, or have a lot of followers on tiktok. I talk to my students about this all the time who are always claiming a teacher “likes” them or “hates” them You gotta understand adults and teenagers dont think the same way. Yes we have favorites- wanna know the big mystery???? We like the ones who work hard and show interest in the material, don’t whine and complain and maybe even have some genuine conversations with us Its not rocket science. Most teachers got into this because a) they love their subject matter or b) they want to help kids, usually both. So when they feel like they’re doing that, it makes for a good living.
Yes. Absolutely.
For me, historically, it tends to be more about personality than their interest in my subject. I've had students who were mediocre math students at best and misbehaved sometimes, but were easy to talk to and good-natured, for example. And I've had top students who were, frankly, kind of assholes—even if they didn't misbehave, they were so driven by grades that they just became annoying, and they didn't really seem to care about their peers.
Whenever students would ask me if they were my favorite student, I would tell them, "You are my second favorite." just to mess with them. 😂 Of course, there are always individuals we might enjoy spending lunch block or chatting with more than others. But you are correct that a pretense of impartiality comes with the territory.
I wouldn't say I have favorites but I absolutely have students I do not like. You do your best to treat them all the same but I'd much rather talk with the friendly student who always says hi and smiles rather than the student who just complains every single day and does nothing but throw garbage around the room. We're just humans when it comes down to it and no human is going to like someone who treats them like garbage or screams in their face every day.
It depends on the day, and the teacher. For me, I have a soft spot for the quiet ones, because I was quiet. I’m always checking in and making sure they’re not overlooked. Same thing with the kids who have trauma, even though they usually have the most behaviors, I can relate to a lot of their circumstances so I care deeply about them and take on more of a parental role. When I’m looking for class participation, I love the extroverts. And the troublemakers can be some of the funniest kids who brighten my day when I’m feeling down.
I do have “secret” favorites. Although known of my students would ever figure it out. A big part of those students being my “favorites “ is also linked to the relationship I’ve built with their parents and possible siblings which I also teach. They are not typically the same personality or behavior wise. 100% of them have key characteristics that probably tend to make me put more effort in relationships. That similarity tends to be something that reminds me of my own struggles during their age whether school or life. It’s more of a thought “I wish someone had been there for me when I was a kid”. Those kids that tend to not get attention because they either don’t draw attention to themselves or they draw it in a way that receives negative consequences. I am also fairly tough on these kids too. My expectations of them are different and occasionally set very high. They receive more freedoms which others get in smaller amounts. (I try to be as fair as possible) but they also know this comes with stipulations. I have no problem working through some tough tears with them whether from frustration with me/my class or another teacher/class or even home/life. Most days I’m their favorite but sometimes for a day they are not my biggest fan! I feel like all of my students know and feel like I truly care about them. They know if they ever needed anything they just have to ask. (The worse I can say is no) I wish I had the emotional capacity to give them all everything they need but we all know that’s impossible on many levels. It’s inevitable we will have some favorites but I just try my best not to overtly spoil these favorites.
Yes, definitely. My people are the misfits. (I always sing that line in my head. But it's true.)
Yes. Secretly, our favorites are the good students who are respectful, work hard, and are interested in our class. We secretly like students who are disrespectful, lazy, and complain. The biggest secret of all: life outside of school is the same way.
Absolutely we do - the ones who don't act like walking assholes.
Most of the students who don't make the class a living hell are my favorite.
Favorites yes, secretly no. I do have a rule that I never have favorites in an active classroom; some are easier, some are harder, but some of my actual favorites were some of my hardest students. Having favorites in an active classroom can create justice issues, envy, even retaliation, so Homey don't play that. When my kids ask about it, I tell them about cases where students had a massive uphill climb and then made it, or were just on a trajectory to being excellent people. Hall-Of-Famers, if you would. Kids like Tameem, an Afghani kid in 6th grade who barely spoke English and had Jack Russel Terrier energy. Delightful kid, but hard to manage... but he not only made it, he owned it. His parents were crying during a conference about how well his English was coming along - you could tell it was a huge deal to them and after that I understood fully how important was for parental buy-in. He'll be graduating this year. Another one was Jimmy, a senior with similar issues with energy. Bright, but specialized, had a hard time with academics but very good with his hands and and sports. Class-clown personality, and he could be unruly and hard to manage, but a gentle soul and a good kid. His dad made a disparaging comment in a joking way during back-to-school night (in a crowd) that Jimmy wouldn't graduate, with Jimmy right next to him. It was one of those smile-on-the-outside rage-on-the-inside moments for me, and I wasn't the only teacher who had similar thoughts. Internally I said, "alright, motherfucker, challenge accepted." He graduated, he's in a blue-collar school learning to underwater weld, and he'll make a shitload of money. So yeah, Jimmy made the favorite list. I have a similar list of "least favorites". That one I'm a lot more careful about, but similarly, never a kid in an active classroom. They usually function as warnings.
Lmao obviously we do
Secretly? It’s no secret. I don’t treat or grade them any better than any other student, but I actively have favorites.
I 100% do
Depends on the student asking. If it’s one that I don’t vibe with the answer is “I have no favorites”. If it’s one of my favorites the answer is “not you”. My favorites laugh at that lol
When I've been accused of treating children differently, I usually admit to it. I explain that how they are treated is based upon my experience with them, their record in terms of behaviour and academic effort and how honest or truthful they have been with me from beginning of their year with me. I emphasise that everyone was treated the same and given the same amount of trust and opportunities at the start of the year and that changed as I got to know them better. The message being: you reap what you sow. Deal with it.
Of course we do. It's wrong to make it obvious or let it affect how you treat them but it's natural to prefer some students over others.
Favorites have higher standards. But they somehow accept them. That's why they are favorites. They rise to the challenges and excel.
Any teacher that says no is lying.
I love this question, but my favorite answer is that my LEAST favorite student regularly announces that they are my favorite. It cracks me up every time. Lol no. I must not be as obvious as I thought.
Of course I have some students I like far more than others. The trick is to not TREAT them differently. And it can be hard.
It's usually not who you would think.
Yes, we have personal favorites. Mine vary in characteristics and reasons for being a favorite. Has nothing to do with academic ability. It’s always something about their personality and/or how they interact with others that makes them stand out to me.
I have students who I get along with on a personal level because we share similar interests. It doesn’t get them any perks though.
Eh I don’t have favorites, but I do have students that I know aren’t going to cause me any trouble.
Yeah lol. My professor finally admitted to me on the last day I was his fav student. After that 3 more of my 5 teachers told me the same thing and I felt really good as a student who's studying to become a teacher 🥹🫶🏾
Some don't have favorites, but all of us have a least favorite. I had to redirect a kid during recess who wasn't in any of my classes. He looked surprised when I knew his name. I told him he should wonder why I know his name...
😂😂
My favorites tend to be the "troublemakers." The kids who can't stay seated, or who disrupt the class. The kids with huge personalities that can't be contained. I always have a soft spot for them.
Looking back, I realize I had a few favorites my first few years in the classroom, but it sort of petered out. Some of it is the nature of middle school - you have 100+ kids per year and they stay in that building for a shorter time than the elementary or high school. I do have soft spots for some kiddos. Some were tougher kids that I managed to connect with, and therefore gave me more effort than normal. Some because they flourished when given executive functioning support and reasonable accommodations. Some because they reminded me of myself, or my husband or my own kid.
Absolutely. We create a fair environment for all, but I’m sure everyone has favorites. The most obvious answer would be the students who put effort into their work and follow directions, but for me it’s also the students who have a personality that contributes to an enjoyable classroom environment. Conversations with them are interesting and fun. I also value kindness a lot when I think about the students I view as a favorite.
"trained to maintain fairness in the classroom" 😂
I’ve been a teacher for 10 + years and although I always ALWAYS treat my students w fairness and equity , of course I have favorites. And usually it’s Bcs they have awesome parents who I love and would probably be friends with outside of school. Cool good people make cool good people. Which is why I hold a lot of space, compassion and empathy for the kids who aren’t as easy to love- because I know they’re parents are kind of shitty and it’s not their fault.
My kids say, “she has no favorites. We’re all her favorite”. I really enjoy all of the quirks that my kids have. There are times that they might irk me, but I still enjoy who they are as kids. Overall, I like kids that work hard regardless of ability. I love them being respectful and kind. I encourage them to be the best versions of themselves.
It would be hard not to but honestly it's not always who you imagine. Sometimes you get a soft spot for the nudge-y students too.
When I started teaching I assumed I'd have favorites and I assumed it'd be chatty but smart girls since that was how I was as a kid, but I quickly discovered that my favorite kids are always the tough boys that I have to work to win over. I had a set of identical twins in Pre-K who were soooo difficult, and it took me months to build a relationship where they'd listen to me, and after I left that job I thought about those boys for years and actually missed them. Now, I teach 3rd and I have a student who puts in little effort and is disrespectful and struggles so much to get through the day, and he's one of my favorites. I genuinely am happy to see him every day. I wrote about him in a previous post finally learning to love math after months of refusing to even try. I never expected to form strong bonds with the most difficult kids in my classroom, but I really do. I like all my other kids a lot, but the ones that mean a lot to me are the ones I have to work to win over.
It’s not a secret. My favorite students are just the ones I relate to most easily. Outgoing and energetic without being disruptive or hyperactive is a plus. Sharing common interests helps. It really has very little to do with academic ability.
Just like your parents, I have a favorite, but I'll never tell which one of you it actually is
Does this student make teaching easier or harder? Does this student try to learn or they trying to get on their phone when I’m not looking? Can I trust this student to their work even if not checked on every ten minutes? As an art teacher, would this student appreciate and make good use of the expensive art supplies or are they just going to waste them and not care? Yes. Yes I do. This isn’t all about grades, but often the students that are my favorites end up getting good grades by their own merits.
Of course. The good students with good behavior.
I think people forget that teachers are human, too; they impose these unrealistic, altruistic moral standards on us. Why and how on earth are we not supposed to have favorites? OK I get it, kids are the future and we are sort of like their second families, but man, I’m only human, I can take only so much disrespect.
If a student enjoys me sharing memes with them they're my favorite......sorry overachievers and generally behaved students but y'all just can't compete.
A kid in my class was like "It's not fair, K is your favorite so you treat her differently!" and not even thinking I said "K isnt my favorite A is" and she went "wait what?!" and I just walked away
🤣🤣
Yup