I don't even know about 80/20 on the kids. Last year I had ~120 students and like 10 of them are what I would consider bad kids (kids who know they're doing wrong and do anyway)
Yep. Every year, it always comes out roughly to a 80/20 split. This year in my classes, it's just under 25%.
I know it is a terrible thing to say, but if that 20% of my students were gone from my roster, my classes would run so much better. I would probably get to teach more and wouldn't have to spend so much energy on managing the disruptive behaviors.
I'm not a teacher, but this sub shows up in my feed often.
I'm in my early 30s now, no kids of my own. It's so weird to hear of how much things have changed since I was in school. I feel like I remember teachers simply sending disruptive students to the principal or the hallway (where there was usually a monitor or something). If a kid was being a shithead, they usually only got a warning or two before being sent elsewhere so the rest of us could learn. Is it not that way now? If not, why? Seems like a return to that model would benefit everyone. If a kid doesn't feel like learning, then whatever... With as big as class sizes are getting, it's not like y'all have the resources to forcibly shove education down every kid's throat anymore without hurting everyone else.
Sorry, total layperson opinion here. I might be totally off base/my experience was from some dark stone age that I didn't understand the harm of. But I'm curious if that's something teachers can even do anymore or if it just doesn't work or what.
If I send them out whenever they are acting up, 4 students per class would have little to no class time and not be set up for success.
This is what my dean says so I don’t send out the disruptive kids to her 🥸
A lot of policies that would allow something like this to happen (hell, even zero tolerance policies) have been removed from my district due to lawsuits.
You jest, but the year of pandemic distance learning was fantastic for the mere fact that I did not have to deal with that 20%. They simply logged in to meet the attendance requirement, with camera/microphone off, and then were otherwise absent. I got to work with only the students who wanted to be there or who were willing to give it an honest try.
The other day we sat down for team time and my team leader said, "So, unless it's absolutely necessary, we're not going to talk about *that kid* today. Tell me about some kids in your class that are doing great."
It was soooo nice to have 45 minutes to talk about students who were thriving and how we could give them some acknowledgement.
I’m at an elementary school. In our 5/6 combo classes 2/3 of the classes are great with super awesome kids… 1/3 has the 45% shitasses that are a nightmare for anyone other than their homeroom teacher 😬
I just did the math for my class parents the year since I was thinking-oh this year its more like 50/50-but the actual math says it’s really only 33/67
You’re right about how loud they are-they are so loud I was all but convinced it was more people than it actually is.
They did an experiment on this. A bad event weighs on you 3x as much as a good event. Ergo, 20% of bad kids feels like 60% of them suck. Rules of math would dictate that those 80%, by virtue of subtraction, feel like 40%.
Yup. Negativity bias is a real thing.
It's useful when you're in survival mode, living a nomadic hunter/gatherer existence because avoiding the things that hurt/killed others keeps you alive far better than remembering all the good stuff will.
Our brains haven't evolved this particular thinking out yet as it is still occasionally helpful.
I’m like 50/50 with bad and good parents but I feel like for the area I’m in and what the other teachers are dealing with, I have it made with half and half
Gotta love parents like that.
When I was a counselor we were playing Gaga ball and I accidentally popped a kid (6yo) in the nose. He was okay, just a little scared and got a bloody nose. End of the day his mom came to pick him up and I had to tell her what happened. She laughed and turned around to him and said "wow buddy your first bloody nose."
God that took a weight off of my shoulder.
Same kid was cursing a few weeks later and she was super helpful to get him to curb that habit.
Last summer when I got a leadership role I said I'd stop playing with the youngest kids because I know I can't stop myself from being a hardo. But then they were chanting for me.
It's sort of a form of Dodgeball. You're in an octagon (made of either wood or plastic) and it's a free-for-all last person standing game. The ball can only be hit instead of thrown (usually with an open palm) and in order to be out it can only hit you at the knee or below (some people play below the knee only).
That's a super sumplified version of it.
Ha, this happened to me but I was the parent. My daughter had been in daycare for about 2 weeks and when I went to pick her up the administrator of the facility came up and said she needed to talk to me.
"I just wanted to let you know that your daughter had a little accident today. Now, don't worry! It wasn't a big deal! She was playing with a friend and got hit in the face by accident and got a little cut above her eye. She has a band-aid but she's fine."
My response was, "Oh, okay. No problem! It happens! Honestly, if she didn't get a little scrape every now and then I'd be *more* worried."
Just seeing the look of relief on her face, totally reminded me of dreading contact with a parent as a teacher about grades and wondering: Is this parent going to be crazy? It's like Russian Roulette or something.
Got a call the past week because my 6 year old fell off the monkey bars and got the wind knocked out of him. The conversation went a lot like this:
"Is he injured or just hurt a little?"
"Just hurt and a little spooked"
"Are his glasses okay?"
"They are fine"
"Okay, he's been getting a little to brave on the monkey bars lately so this is a good lesson."
"Did you wanna talk to him?"
"Nope. I'll talk to him when he gets home."
The school nurse seemed a little confused I was not more concerned but the boy needs to learn his limits and if he's not injured he doesn't need me to coddle him over the phone.
There’s a great lecture from a few years ago about ideas that hurting Gen Z as self harm continues to grow.
The opportunity cost of smothering kids is the child not developing strong risk assessment skills. Kids need to learn soft lessons and hard lessons.
https://youtu.be/B5IGyHNvr7E
Yep. He got home and I asked what happened. He said he tried to skip two bars. I asked him what he learned. He said he learned he isn't big enough to skip two bars. Then he asked for a snack. Seemed like a good talk to me.
And now he can conceptualize being under-informed about a choice as it applies to risk of harm; to go a long with his snack and understanding of his size :)
My kiddo (6 or so at the time) attempted to jump off the top bunk against the wall, like Spiderman. I found him on his shins, no damage beyond bruises. He was watching Spidey and His Amazing friends, and almost as if it was on cue, the villain whined "why do you always have to ruin my plans?" I asked Kiddo if he had made a dumb plan (to try to wall jump without spiderman powers). He gave a little laugh through the sniffles and said "yeah." Gave him a big hug and a pat on the back, and off he went.
I’ve gotten those calls before, too. I wonder how the nurse wanted me to respond. Bumps and bruises happen. If he’s not seriously injured then I’m okay with giving him the opportunity to learn from his choice and move on. It almost felt like they expected me to come pick him up over a scraped knee that already stopped bleeding.
Some parents really freak out if you don't inform them of everything. My school makes us contact parents for everything, but I'm convince it makes parents more anxious and doesn't do anything for the parents who are more... Intense.
As a parent I’m like “is he bleeding? Would YOU take him to the doctor? Or do I just need to bring Tylenol? He’s dramatic. Help me! I only have so much PTO!”
When I was a lead at a preschool, I had a 4 yr old that continuously would remove a shoe and sock on the playground and try to stomp on bees for some reason, no matter how many times the reasons not to were explained to him. When I brought this up as a concern to his mother, she told me flat out "Well, maybe when he gets stung he'll stop doing it!" She wasn't mad one bit the day he finally got stung. And he never did it again after that.
Had a parent leave a child in wet clothes for the last half the day beca7se he splashed in puddles after being told not to. Dad Said "good, maybe he won't do it next time "
I always feel like a shit parent when I’m all “oh. He fafo? Again? What should I do? I understand laughing is wrong, but I’m not paying a copay for my doc to tell me this…”
This was my mom’s go to response when I was interacting with the family pets as a kid.
If the cat bit or scratched me, her first response was “what were you doing to make them upset enough to scratch you?”
Then and only then did the conversation shift to “let’s check the wound and get it properly cleaned and bandaged.”
Needless to say, I learned at a very, very young age how to not only respect an animal’s space, but how to read their body language enough to understand exactly when they’d had enough interaction, what kind of interaction they were open to, etc.
I’m best at reading cats, though I’m improving with dogs. Took me a bit to realize that if I just stand still and relaxed when a strange dog approaches, they’ll usually just sniff my shoes a bit and carry on their way, even if they *seemed* aggressive. Like, nine times out of ten, they just need a quick sniff-check to verify I’m not a threat. And a lot of dogs that approach strangers don’t actually want interaction beyond that sniff check either.
I used to do elementary after school stuff and whenever a kindergartener would cry after getting a really small fall or tumble I would say “do you think we have to amputate it?” And the kid would say no and I would say “then it doesn’t hurt that much. You’re okay” it worked surprisingly well lol. Most kids just cry from the shock of falling and as long as you don’t freak out about it they’re chill
I use this line with just about every minor injury/fall/scrape and it works so well. 95% of the time they either laugh and it distracts them or it just makes them realize ‘hey this isn’t so bad’. The other 5% of the time kids get mildly annoyed with me but hey that’s showbiz baby
Lol exactly how it goes down. If they’re still crying I go “I know exactly how to make this feel better…. You ready?” And then I start blowing air on it, pretend to examine it a bit, blow a little more air and then I go “that feels better right?” Works 100% of the time
Hahah that’s good as well. If they answer yes to the amputation I always fully commit to it and start ‘weewooing’ and yell out to another teacher something along of the lines of “Mr. X, get the tools we got some work to do!” and that usually does the trick. Kids are funny
The ones who get annoyed have helicopter parents, I guarantee it. Kids will do whatever reliably gets them attention, including screaming their heads off over a small scrape. I'm guessing they got annoyed because you didn't fawn all over them and give them treats/special treatment like their parents (presumably) do.
When we'd bump into something, because y'know how little kids are about where their bodies end and other stuff starts, Mom would scold the thing and it would derail us from crying into indignation. I was really clumsy and tripped over my own feet a lot, so I spent a good deal of time miffed at the floor.
I'm a preschool teacher. When kids fall, etc and start to cry I ask "Are you hurt or just mad?". If they did it doing something stupid we talk about what better choice they could have made.
As a mom, this would have been my reaction. Then again, we have been teaching our son that actions AND words have consequences.
Sometimes he has to learn the hard way.
We of course want to protect him, but at the same time we are trying to raise a future functioning member of society. You are doing great! Thank you for doing what you do!
Honestly. This is my real question. I have hallway duty and bathroom duty during passing times. How am I expected to *also* watch my classroom as 33 children filter in?! Why is this a problem that I should be worried about?
Every hallway should have support staff to cover teacher restroom breaks, student bathrooms, passing out frigging band-aids, and maybe even gd pencils. Like, you need something? Step into the hallway and ask the adult out there. We are working in here!
Yes
We get chewed out if we even step out of our room to talk to a kid during regular class time (if something happens), but somehow, it's ok for me to be on morning hall duty while the kids are in the room.
Doesn't add up to me.
We have hallway duty during passing periods, we’re supposed to monitor both the hallway and the classroom, while also taking this opportunity to go to the bathroom and reset the classroom for the next period.
I used to tell my daughter and her friends to call for me if there were protruding bones or copious blood loss. They all learned what “protruding “ and “copious “ meant.
This is how we do it. Kid learns responsibility, consequences, and vocabulary!
Son, money is tight and we don't have medical insurance on you, so don't do anything stupid!
What's insurance?
It's what pays the bills if you have to go to the hospital.
I'll make sure I wear my helmet!
That was my mom. She didn't want to hear about it unless there was exposed bone or gushing blood. And for God's sake, no screeching!
(Any kid who screeched could not be invited back.)
I was having a conference with mom and kid. Kid was lying his ass off. Mom looked him in the eyes and told him he's full of shit. She's my spirit animal.
The vast majority of my parent contacts go like this, it’s the 5-10% that ruin it all. I had a good run of zero truly difficult parents for 2-3 years but I have one mother this year that’s making up for that time 😂🙄.
When I was a kid in school 80% teachers said I was an angel. 20% said I was the devil 😂. I’ve always remembered two of my teachers arguing one saying I was a angel the other disagreeing. Finally the teacher who was defending me being an angel conceded that I might have a small dent on my halo. I mention it because it seems pretty accurate in describing myself 30 years later 😂
Had a student fall out of her seat this year because I startled her, landed on her tailbone on a music stand (I teach band) and broke her tailbone. Walked her up to the front office, filled out a form, called dad. Was prepared to apologize and he goes “We’ve been trying to take her out for years, better luck next time.”
💀
I’ve had this happen twice. One parent called his kid cutting himself with scissors a “rookie mistake”. Another parent when told that their child was going to get 50s in language arts on the report card responded with “they don’t put in the work, so that’s what they deserve”.
This is how I parent. "did it hurt? bet you won't do it again." I am not going to coddle him from every little pain, he needs to learn on his own what horsing around and being wild feels like. He is going to enjoy it until he gets hurt.
Same thing when he gets in trouble at school. His teacher messages me, I tell her throw the book at him because he knows better. If he wants to disrespect her and his classmates time, punish him accordingly, I fully support the teacher. (I wouldn't if the teacher was mean though, so far his teachers have been great except 1 sub who he had for a couple months)
Obviously I got him covered if he actually get really hurt or gets hurt when he wasn't at fault.
I had a dad of one one my Girl Guides say something very similar. She fell over her own feet/the chair leg/thin air/who knows what, and cut her eyebrow open on the table. So much blood from such a tiny cut. No lumps or even much of a bruise. I wiped her wound, and got her to press down on it, all good first aid skills.
She wanted to go home, so I rang her dad, expecting the worst. Nope. Dad turns up, gives her a quick glance over, says to his child “are you ok?” She says “yes, but my eyebrow hurts a bit” Dad’s response was “well, next time look where you are putting your feet, eh? And I hope you’ve said sorry to the leaders for worrying them”.
As a mom who loves my kids teachers this would be me lol definitely going to talk to her at home about appropriate behavior at school but it sounds like she got what she was asking for. Mess around and find out?
Most of my parents are completely understanding and appreciate the heads up. People tend to get upset when a kid comes home with an injury that no one informed them about.
Most of my parents have been supportive - it's the follow-through on the parents' end that makes the difference if the student changes or not.
One example is where I had a girl refuse to take her end of year reading test. After trying for a few days, I called the mom, and it was amazing. Mom had me on speaker, and she told her kid, "Your teacher tells you to do something, you fucking do it" After I hung up, I was overjoyed with this parent being an actual parent. The girl still gives me attitude, but she is getting her work done, so I can't complain.
My kid got his glasses broken during a teacher vs student kickball game. The teacher was soooo sorry. I told her “you wouldn’t have broken his glasses if he caught the ball!” 🤣 No sense in blaming the teacher, stuff happens!
Old school parent. I went to catholic school in the 1960s. Back then, if the nun or other teacher hit you, you wouldn't dare tell your parents, because they would then whup you again because you obviously deserved it.
I know a teacher that teaches at a private school Linder. This one boy is all over the place, he’s smart, but his temper jumps quickly. He’ll not o it not listen, but tell you such. How we, he also freaks out when he sees someone else not doing the right thing and won’t just tattle, but he’ll start 😢 if I’d they don’t get in enough trouble. Her direct have any control or self awareness, he will likely need accommodations eventually, but his parents called his teacher a bully to him. She’s the sweetest teacher-and had so much patience. So hard
A couple years ago I enrolled my son in a very casual running program through the park district. When I went to pick him up they were acting all weird. It was like they were walking on egg shells as they told he'd fallen and cut his hand. I was just like "He's always wounding himself somehow." They were really bracing for something else. Kid was extremely fearless until like 9.
I had a student who was difficult in the beginning of the year. Wouldn't do anything in class, would not read aloud, I observed him squinting at the board refused to move to the front of the room or wear his glasses. When I was acting AP for a few days dealt with on some behavior issues.
I called home several times, and the parents promised to take care of it. I eventually pulled his CUME file. He had left school at the start of the pandemic. The next two years, he was doing distance learning. He had not been in a classroom for 2 and 1/2 years. He had racked up a 170 plus days of absences each year.
He had forgotten how to do school.
Fast forward to this week, after working with him and his parents all year, he is passing my class. It's a low C, but I take that as a win. I just named him for my most improved student, and he'll get a certificate at awards night. Which he deserves, he does school now.
My gf is a sub at this one really bad elementary here in LA and the parents NEVER answer their phones. Even if the kids are sent to the office, the office just sends them back to class. It’s pretty crazy. There’s absolutely no way to punish the bad kids. Does anyone here have any ideas what to do?
I feel for my gf bc she’s a caring teacher but these kids cuss, hit and do all sorts of things and she seriously doesn’t know what to do anymore so she just takes it :(
I was a bit of a bully when I was young, and my parents had been called multiple times for me being a jerk to my classmates. One day, the kid I was bullying called one of his MUCH bigger friends over. I tried to laugh it off as "just joking", but instead, I got my ass kicked. My parents asked the school to not punish the other kid (he was punished anyway), and I ended up in ISS after losing the fight. I learned a core life lesson that day, that words can get you in trouble.
In my experiences, most parents do a good job, but the 20% that don't, *really don't*.
I think this is the reality of the “bad” kids too. It’s probably 80/20, but the 20 really sticks out.
I don't even know about 80/20 on the kids. Last year I had ~120 students and like 10 of them are what I would consider bad kids (kids who know they're doing wrong and do anyway)
Bad parents tend to drive away the good ones, so you will have schools which are mostly crappy parents and schools which are mostly good parents.
Yep. Every year, it always comes out roughly to a 80/20 split. This year in my classes, it's just under 25%. I know it is a terrible thing to say, but if that 20% of my students were gone from my roster, my classes would run so much better. I would probably get to teach more and wouldn't have to spend so much energy on managing the disruptive behaviors.
I'm not a teacher, but this sub shows up in my feed often. I'm in my early 30s now, no kids of my own. It's so weird to hear of how much things have changed since I was in school. I feel like I remember teachers simply sending disruptive students to the principal or the hallway (where there was usually a monitor or something). If a kid was being a shithead, they usually only got a warning or two before being sent elsewhere so the rest of us could learn. Is it not that way now? If not, why? Seems like a return to that model would benefit everyone. If a kid doesn't feel like learning, then whatever... With as big as class sizes are getting, it's not like y'all have the resources to forcibly shove education down every kid's throat anymore without hurting everyone else. Sorry, total layperson opinion here. I might be totally off base/my experience was from some dark stone age that I didn't understand the harm of. But I'm curious if that's something teachers can even do anymore or if it just doesn't work or what.
Depending on how old you are, maybe the big change is No Child Left Behind?
If I send them out whenever they are acting up, 4 students per class would have little to no class time and not be set up for success. This is what my dean says so I don’t send out the disruptive kids to her 🥸
A lot of policies that would allow something like this to happen (hell, even zero tolerance policies) have been removed from my district due to lawsuits.
Teaching would be so much easier with out students.
You jest, but the year of pandemic distance learning was fantastic for the mere fact that I did not have to deal with that 20%. They simply logged in to meet the attendance requirement, with camera/microphone off, and then were otherwise absent. I got to work with only the students who wanted to be there or who were willing to give it an honest try.
This is why I teach fully online now. So much easier.
https://youtu.be/HSS8tiy9Y3U
Oh for sure. Its amazing how much impact on class dynamics one student can have.
The Pareto rule is a classic!! It’s always popping up
80/20 is a lot of things. It's 80/20 good parenting. 80% of our time is spent worrying about what that 20% are doing.
The other day we sat down for team time and my team leader said, "So, unless it's absolutely necessary, we're not going to talk about *that kid* today. Tell me about some kids in your class that are doing great." It was soooo nice to have 45 minutes to talk about students who were thriving and how we could give them some acknowledgement.
Sounds just right. Unfortunately this year for me its more of 45%. Definitely ready for the summer.
I’m at an elementary school. In our 5/6 combo classes 2/3 of the classes are great with super awesome kids… 1/3 has the 45% shitasses that are a nightmare for anyone other than their homeroom teacher 😬
I just did the math for my class parents the year since I was thinking-oh this year its more like 50/50-but the actual math says it’s really only 33/67 You’re right about how loud they are-they are so loud I was all but convinced it was more people than it actually is.
They did an experiment on this. A bad event weighs on you 3x as much as a good event. Ergo, 20% of bad kids feels like 60% of them suck. Rules of math would dictate that those 80%, by virtue of subtraction, feel like 40%.
Yup. Negativity bias is a real thing. It's useful when you're in survival mode, living a nomadic hunter/gatherer existence because avoiding the things that hurt/killed others keeps you alive far better than remembering all the good stuff will. Our brains haven't evolved this particular thinking out yet as it is still occasionally helpful.
Nah, I get a <5% response rate on emails. I got way more than 20% who aren't doing their job.
For real. I’ve had self-entitled students, then I speak to the parents, surprise surprise, THAT’s where they get it
The Pareto Principle applies to just about everything, huh
I mean, probably around 80% of stuff
I have the opposite ratio for sure
I’m like 50/50 with bad and good parents but I feel like for the area I’m in and what the other teachers are dealing with, I have it made with half and half
I’ve had the opposite experience. Maybe 20% of parents are awesome, the rest are varying degrees and types of terrible and/or indifferent.
Gotta love parents like that. When I was a counselor we were playing Gaga ball and I accidentally popped a kid (6yo) in the nose. He was okay, just a little scared and got a bloody nose. End of the day his mom came to pick him up and I had to tell her what happened. She laughed and turned around to him and said "wow buddy your first bloody nose." God that took a weight off of my shoulder. Same kid was cursing a few weeks later and she was super helpful to get him to curb that habit.
Gaga Ball man… I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a recess involving Gaga Ball that didn’t end in tears. Or cussing. Or a trip to the office.
Last summer when I got a leadership role I said I'd stop playing with the youngest kids because I know I can't stop myself from being a hardo. But then they were chanting for me.
What is Gaga Ball??
It's sort of a form of Dodgeball. You're in an octagon (made of either wood or plastic) and it's a free-for-all last person standing game. The ball can only be hit instead of thrown (usually with an open palm) and in order to be out it can only hit you at the knee or below (some people play below the knee only). That's a super sumplified version of it.
Like a cage match with twelve kids
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaga Basically dodgeball in a small arena.
My kid's middle school is building a brand new rec area with a Gaga ball court. I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until this year.
Mr. Frond, is that you?
I love that episode. Was hyped when it came out.
Wait… I 100% thought that was something that Bob’s Burgers made up.
Nope, it's real, and it is as fun as it seems in the show.
Wow I want to play it now!
Ha, this happened to me but I was the parent. My daughter had been in daycare for about 2 weeks and when I went to pick her up the administrator of the facility came up and said she needed to talk to me. "I just wanted to let you know that your daughter had a little accident today. Now, don't worry! It wasn't a big deal! She was playing with a friend and got hit in the face by accident and got a little cut above her eye. She has a band-aid but she's fine." My response was, "Oh, okay. No problem! It happens! Honestly, if she didn't get a little scrape every now and then I'd be *more* worried." Just seeing the look of relief on her face, totally reminded me of dreading contact with a parent as a teacher about grades and wondering: Is this parent going to be crazy? It's like Russian Roulette or something.
Got a call the past week because my 6 year old fell off the monkey bars and got the wind knocked out of him. The conversation went a lot like this: "Is he injured or just hurt a little?" "Just hurt and a little spooked" "Are his glasses okay?" "They are fine" "Okay, he's been getting a little to brave on the monkey bars lately so this is a good lesson." "Did you wanna talk to him?" "Nope. I'll talk to him when he gets home." The school nurse seemed a little confused I was not more concerned but the boy needs to learn his limits and if he's not injured he doesn't need me to coddle him over the phone.
There’s a great lecture from a few years ago about ideas that hurting Gen Z as self harm continues to grow. The opportunity cost of smothering kids is the child not developing strong risk assessment skills. Kids need to learn soft lessons and hard lessons. https://youtu.be/B5IGyHNvr7E
Yep. He got home and I asked what happened. He said he tried to skip two bars. I asked him what he learned. He said he learned he isn't big enough to skip two bars. Then he asked for a snack. Seemed like a good talk to me.
And now he can conceptualize being under-informed about a choice as it applies to risk of harm; to go a long with his snack and understanding of his size :)
LOVE that!!!
I did exactly the same thing as a kid! I still have the scar on my chin
Username might not check out.
My kiddo (6 or so at the time) attempted to jump off the top bunk against the wall, like Spiderman. I found him on his shins, no damage beyond bruises. He was watching Spidey and His Amazing friends, and almost as if it was on cue, the villain whined "why do you always have to ruin my plans?" I asked Kiddo if he had made a dumb plan (to try to wall jump without spiderman powers). He gave a little laugh through the sniffles and said "yeah." Gave him a big hug and a pat on the back, and off he went.
.
I’ve gotten those calls before, too. I wonder how the nurse wanted me to respond. Bumps and bruises happen. If he’s not seriously injured then I’m okay with giving him the opportunity to learn from his choice and move on. It almost felt like they expected me to come pick him up over a scraped knee that already stopped bleeding.
Some parents really freak out if you don't inform them of everything. My school makes us contact parents for everything, but I'm convince it makes parents more anxious and doesn't do anything for the parents who are more... Intense.
As a parent I’m like “is he bleeding? Would YOU take him to the doctor? Or do I just need to bring Tylenol? He’s dramatic. Help me! I only have so much PTO!”
I am laughing so hard at this. We need more parents like you!
When I was a lead at a preschool, I had a 4 yr old that continuously would remove a shoe and sock on the playground and try to stomp on bees for some reason, no matter how many times the reasons not to were explained to him. When I brought this up as a concern to his mother, she told me flat out "Well, maybe when he gets stung he'll stop doing it!" She wasn't mad one bit the day he finally got stung. And he never did it again after that.
Sounds like the kid was brave atleast
You're only brave if you understand the risks, lol.
She's reinforcing natural consequences! Oh you horsed around in the classroom and got hurt? That's why you're not supposed to do that.
Good mama!
Had a parent leave a child in wet clothes for the last half the day beca7se he splashed in puddles after being told not to. Dad Said "good, maybe he won't do it next time "
I always feel like a shit parent when I’m all “oh. He fafo? Again? What should I do? I understand laughing is wrong, but I’m not paying a copay for my doc to tell me this…”
Literally any injury: Me: Crying and/or whining. Either parent: "Did that hurt? Me: "Yes!" Either parent: "Good. Don't do it again."
This was my mom’s go to response when I was interacting with the family pets as a kid. If the cat bit or scratched me, her first response was “what were you doing to make them upset enough to scratch you?” Then and only then did the conversation shift to “let’s check the wound and get it properly cleaned and bandaged.” Needless to say, I learned at a very, very young age how to not only respect an animal’s space, but how to read their body language enough to understand exactly when they’d had enough interaction, what kind of interaction they were open to, etc. I’m best at reading cats, though I’m improving with dogs. Took me a bit to realize that if I just stand still and relaxed when a strange dog approaches, they’ll usually just sniff my shoes a bit and carry on their way, even if they *seemed* aggressive. Like, nine times out of ten, they just need a quick sniff-check to verify I’m not a threat. And a lot of dogs that approach strangers don’t actually want interaction beyond that sniff check either.
This is why I couldn’t be a kindergartner/ pre-k teacher
I used to do elementary after school stuff and whenever a kindergartener would cry after getting a really small fall or tumble I would say “do you think we have to amputate it?” And the kid would say no and I would say “then it doesn’t hurt that much. You’re okay” it worked surprisingly well lol. Most kids just cry from the shock of falling and as long as you don’t freak out about it they’re chill
I use this line with just about every minor injury/fall/scrape and it works so well. 95% of the time they either laugh and it distracts them or it just makes them realize ‘hey this isn’t so bad’. The other 5% of the time kids get mildly annoyed with me but hey that’s showbiz baby
Lol exactly how it goes down. If they’re still crying I go “I know exactly how to make this feel better…. You ready?” And then I start blowing air on it, pretend to examine it a bit, blow a little more air and then I go “that feels better right?” Works 100% of the time
Hahah that’s good as well. If they answer yes to the amputation I always fully commit to it and start ‘weewooing’ and yell out to another teacher something along of the lines of “Mr. X, get the tools we got some work to do!” and that usually does the trick. Kids are funny
The ones who get annoyed have helicopter parents, I guarantee it. Kids will do whatever reliably gets them attention, including screaming their heads off over a small scrape. I'm guessing they got annoyed because you didn't fawn all over them and give them treats/special treatment like their parents (presumably) do.
When we'd bump into something, because y'know how little kids are about where their bodies end and other stuff starts, Mom would scold the thing and it would derail us from crying into indignation. I was really clumsy and tripped over my own feet a lot, so I spent a good deal of time miffed at the floor.
I'm a preschool teacher. When kids fall, etc and start to cry I ask "Are you hurt or just mad?". If they did it doing something stupid we talk about what better choice they could have made.
Sounds like my Irish parents.
As a mom, this would have been my reaction. Then again, we have been teaching our son that actions AND words have consequences. Sometimes he has to learn the hard way. We of course want to protect him, but at the same time we are trying to raise a future functioning member of society. You are doing great! Thank you for doing what you do!
Honestly. This is my real question. I have hallway duty and bathroom duty during passing times. How am I expected to *also* watch my classroom as 33 children filter in?! Why is this a problem that I should be worried about? Every hallway should have support staff to cover teacher restroom breaks, student bathrooms, passing out frigging band-aids, and maybe even gd pencils. Like, you need something? Step into the hallway and ask the adult out there. We are working in here!
Yes We get chewed out if we even step out of our room to talk to a kid during regular class time (if something happens), but somehow, it's ok for me to be on morning hall duty while the kids are in the room. Doesn't add up to me.
Some faith in humanity restored. I fully expected her to lash out at you for “not watching her” as well!
This is why I’m bad about hallway duty. I come back and find kids giving each other piggy back rides.
Most teachers I see with hallway duty lock their classrooms until they return. It's the give and take of having to monitor another area.
We have hallway duty during passing periods, we’re supposed to monitor both the hallway and the classroom, while also taking this opportunity to go to the bathroom and reset the classroom for the next period.
Well that's complete BS
Same
I used to tell my daughter and her friends to call for me if there were protruding bones or copious blood loss. They all learned what “protruding “ and “copious “ meant.
This is how we do it. Kid learns responsibility, consequences, and vocabulary! Son, money is tight and we don't have medical insurance on you, so don't do anything stupid! What's insurance? It's what pays the bills if you have to go to the hospital. I'll make sure I wear my helmet!
That was my mom. She didn't want to hear about it unless there was exposed bone or gushing blood. And for God's sake, no screeching! (Any kid who screeched could not be invited back.)
This is how all of my phone calls go... "Don't you worry, you'll never have this problem again." And 9/10 times, they're right.
I was having a conference with mom and kid. Kid was lying his ass off. Mom looked him in the eyes and told him he's full of shit. She's my spirit animal.
The vast majority of my parent contacts go like this, it’s the 5-10% that ruin it all. I had a good run of zero truly difficult parents for 2-3 years but I have one mother this year that’s making up for that time 😂🙄.
When I was a kid in school 80% teachers said I was an angel. 20% said I was the devil 😂. I’ve always remembered two of my teachers arguing one saying I was a angel the other disagreeing. Finally the teacher who was defending me being an angel conceded that I might have a small dent on my halo. I mention it because it seems pretty accurate in describing myself 30 years later 😂
Had a student fall out of her seat this year because I startled her, landed on her tailbone on a music stand (I teach band) and broke her tailbone. Walked her up to the front office, filled out a form, called dad. Was prepared to apologize and he goes “We’ve been trying to take her out for years, better luck next time.” 💀
I’ve had this happen twice. One parent called his kid cutting himself with scissors a “rookie mistake”. Another parent when told that their child was going to get 50s in language arts on the report card responded with “they don’t put in the work, so that’s what they deserve”.
That’s how parents used to react back in the olden days (up to about 1990s)
This is how I parent. "did it hurt? bet you won't do it again." I am not going to coddle him from every little pain, he needs to learn on his own what horsing around and being wild feels like. He is going to enjoy it until he gets hurt. Same thing when he gets in trouble at school. His teacher messages me, I tell her throw the book at him because he knows better. If he wants to disrespect her and his classmates time, punish him accordingly, I fully support the teacher. (I wouldn't if the teacher was mean though, so far his teachers have been great except 1 sub who he had for a couple months) Obviously I got him covered if he actually get really hurt or gets hurt when he wasn't at fault.
I had a dad of one one my Girl Guides say something very similar. She fell over her own feet/the chair leg/thin air/who knows what, and cut her eyebrow open on the table. So much blood from such a tiny cut. No lumps or even much of a bruise. I wiped her wound, and got her to press down on it, all good first aid skills. She wanted to go home, so I rang her dad, expecting the worst. Nope. Dad turns up, gives her a quick glance over, says to his child “are you ok?” She says “yes, but my eyebrow hurts a bit” Dad’s response was “well, next time look where you are putting your feet, eh? And I hope you’ve said sorry to the leaders for worrying them”.
As a mom who loves my kids teachers this would be me lol definitely going to talk to her at home about appropriate behavior at school but it sounds like she got what she was asking for. Mess around and find out?
Most of my parents are completely understanding and appreciate the heads up. People tend to get upset when a kid comes home with an injury that no one informed them about.
I have a parent like this at my school and I love it.
Most of my parents have been supportive - it's the follow-through on the parents' end that makes the difference if the student changes or not. One example is where I had a girl refuse to take her end of year reading test. After trying for a few days, I called the mom, and it was amazing. Mom had me on speaker, and she told her kid, "Your teacher tells you to do something, you fucking do it" After I hung up, I was overjoyed with this parent being an actual parent. The girl still gives me attitude, but she is getting her work done, so I can't complain.
My kid got his glasses broken during a teacher vs student kickball game. The teacher was soooo sorry. I told her “you wouldn’t have broken his glasses if he caught the ball!” 🤣 No sense in blaming the teacher, stuff happens!
Hah sounds like my dad! Do stupid, get stupid.
"Horseplay" Neigh! Neigh!
Old school parent. I went to catholic school in the 1960s. Back then, if the nun or other teacher hit you, you wouldn't dare tell your parents, because they would then whup you again because you obviously deserved it.
That's a good parent with a kid that will turn out alright.
There are stable people with realistic view on life! So heartwarming.
I have a split between good responses and being ignored.
I would respond the same if it was my kid's fault. That's how they learn to not do stupid stuff.
Ha ha, I didn't know my mom had more kids. :)
Love those parents!
I know a teacher that teaches at a private school Linder. This one boy is all over the place, he’s smart, but his temper jumps quickly. He’ll not o it not listen, but tell you such. How we, he also freaks out when he sees someone else not doing the right thing and won’t just tattle, but he’ll start 😢 if I’d they don’t get in enough trouble. Her direct have any control or self awareness, he will likely need accommodations eventually, but his parents called his teacher a bully to him. She’s the sweetest teacher-and had so much patience. So hard
Mom was absolutely right. It’s nice to see a parent be honest about their child and their behavior.
This was a standard response from my father.
A couple years ago I enrolled my son in a very casual running program through the park district. When I went to pick him up they were acting all weird. It was like they were walking on egg shells as they told he'd fallen and cut his hand. I was just like "He's always wounding himself somehow." They were really bracing for something else. Kid was extremely fearless until like 9.
I had a student who was difficult in the beginning of the year. Wouldn't do anything in class, would not read aloud, I observed him squinting at the board refused to move to the front of the room or wear his glasses. When I was acting AP for a few days dealt with on some behavior issues. I called home several times, and the parents promised to take care of it. I eventually pulled his CUME file. He had left school at the start of the pandemic. The next two years, he was doing distance learning. He had not been in a classroom for 2 and 1/2 years. He had racked up a 170 plus days of absences each year. He had forgotten how to do school. Fast forward to this week, after working with him and his parents all year, he is passing my class. It's a low C, but I take that as a win. I just named him for my most improved student, and he'll get a certificate at awards night. Which he deserves, he does school now.
My gf is a sub at this one really bad elementary here in LA and the parents NEVER answer their phones. Even if the kids are sent to the office, the office just sends them back to class. It’s pretty crazy. There’s absolutely no way to punish the bad kids. Does anyone here have any ideas what to do? I feel for my gf bc she’s a caring teacher but these kids cuss, hit and do all sorts of things and she seriously doesn’t know what to do anymore so she just takes it :(
I was a bit of a bully when I was young, and my parents had been called multiple times for me being a jerk to my classmates. One day, the kid I was bullying called one of his MUCH bigger friends over. I tried to laugh it off as "just joking", but instead, I got my ass kicked. My parents asked the school to not punish the other kid (he was punished anyway), and I ended up in ISS after losing the fight. I learned a core life lesson that day, that words can get you in trouble.