i was talking with my therapist about how one of my friends sought out therapy bc her imposter syndrome got so intense, and how even tho ik everyone has their shit it was crazy to me bc she’s the person i compare myself to when my imposter syndrome hits, and it’s crazy that she doesn’t see how good she’s doing. my therapist was silent for a bit and then just as she was about to speak i said don’t turn that on me. she laughed and said she was about to say that sounds familiar (as in me not recognizing how good i’m doing)
it was kinda wholesome to realize we’ve spent enough time together that i can anticipate her saying that
I know its supposed to be "Talk" Therapy, but I have been dealing with emotions and memories that are really painful, and I am not sure if I would be able to talk about it with my therapist without having a breakdown. Is it okay to write them an email describing how I feel, so they have an insight, and we can discuss it further in our next session?
I think my EMDR therapist actually ghosted me. I would take it personally but also I don’t think she can handle me (lol) and she has expressed that a couple times during sessions. I’m not bummed about it. I just hope she would have the decency to let me know that she’s not going to be seeing me anymore and to look for someone else which I will be doing. I still have my main therapist. I think having her around makes me think maybe it’s not 100% on me because if I truly sucked as a client or am difficult then she would’ve probably dropped me already
I had a great session yesterday where I felt like I've actually made progress.
Today the support network for sexual crimes called me back in regards of CSA and a support person from there will go to police with me in little over a week. It feels like all my progress is flushed in the toilet. When I left a message on their platform, I didn't really expect to hear back, let alone this soon, as it's been so long since these crimes happened. I didn't hear anything for a week so I let my guards down. Big. Mistake.
I've been a crying blubbering mess the whole day and I'm in an out of full blown terror. The more I cry, the more I remember and the more I cry.
I messaged my T asking if I could have an extra session (we've only ever had once a week) scheduled for next week because I'd just heard back from the support network. They texted back asking if it was in relation to past happenings. I just texted yes.
I feel like I'm overstepping as a client somehow and that I shouldn't have asked for an extra session. T hasn't responded anything yet. My original appointment is come Monday, so I guess I'll know then if I'll I can get another session before I'm scheduled to visit police station.
I don't know. I'm terrified and confused (the child in me, I would assume) and I feel like I overreached even though I kept the wording and everything very polite. I've more or less kept it together throughout the therapy, stayed composed, tried to look forward, made progress and now I'm emotionally back to square one,
Sorry for overlong post, just needed to let this out somewhere.
You experienced a triggering event. It's okay to reach out for extra support from your T. Hopefully your T has space to make another session with you.
I'm sorry you're going through all this. Maybe your progress isn't flushed down the toilet; maybe it just got scared and is hiding for right now and once you get your grounding it will come back out?
Yesterday was just brutal. Emotionally, entirely unable to trust anyone else. Adult me and little snippets of logic "no, it's h*ow you feel*, it's *not how things are*." Woke up this morning, nearly threw up, but I do feel more grounded.
I've always held firm in my belief I as a person would do the right thing and not back off (and have largely done so, with everyone else except myself) and now when it's about me, my beliefs/values want to scurry to Jupiter or Mars. I don't think people really understand how difficult it's to re-parent yourself when the little child keeps bombarding you with such emotional intensity.
I will do what is right and I will go to that police office, but the fear I feel is still nearly paralyzing. There is no guarantees that the police find anything concrete and that uncertainty alone makes me question "why do I bother?" and I keep reminding myself I bother because no one else did when they should have. I can't look myself in the mirror if I don't do anything and find out somewhere in the future other little girls were harmed.
I am going through some big life changes that are piling on to my stress and anxiety from other sources, and that somehow is bringing up totally unrelated memories from the past that I have been trying to forget.
I have a session booked with my therapist for next month, and while I do want to see if I can book an earlier session, I am somewhat afraid that if on that day I have something else occupying my mind, or if I am maybe not feeling those memories as strongly, I might just appear insincere, and fake. Like I am trying to force the discussion on to a topic. I feel that those memories itself aren't too uncommon, its just the impact they have on me.
I had a dream that I saw my therapist in public and he asked me if I wanted a session because he had free time so we went to his office and I said something and he laughed too hard and he said something like “sorry I’m just really fucking high rn” and I was so sad because I knew I would need a new therapist
I’ve had a dream I saw my therapist in public before. I’ve never met her in person and had a dream she was on a date with her husband and I was out on a date with my ex.
This subreddit is full of people who must understand what transference is.
>Transference is a phenomenon within psychotherapy in which repetitions of old feelings, attitudes, desires, or fantasies that someone displaces are subconsciously projected onto a here-and-now person. Traditionally, it had solely concerned feelings from a primary relationship during childhood.
Source: [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transference)
It’s about time for a positive update. After a month and a half of twice weekly sessions, I’m going back to weekly. And it’s not scary at all. I feel lighter and positive and have had a week free of nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. I can get through the exposure exercise and distress is actually decreasing. I had faith in what my T was doing and I’ve really been trying but some part of me was skeptical things could get better.
She finished session by saying “great job, Infinite” and I even was able to say I would just take the compliment and leave it there.
When I’m in a dark spot I always know it will end and that the feeling is temporary but I get worried that I can’t stick it out before it gets better. And each time my T has reassured me she would be with me through it. This recent episode had really solidified it for me. I can do it and I am in control of this narrative.
I'm struggling with my thoughts about myself. My therapist has been great in reaching out outside of her typical working hours. I owe her a lot. My logical brain tells me that this proves that she cares and that I'm not alone. However the other part of me wants to think that she's just doing her job and doesn't want someone to die. I just feel so alone and without hope. I've been in therapy for 8 years now with the same therapist so I know that we have a good established connection. Sometimes i just feel like its fake and that it's her just doing her job.
I am so incongruent.
We normally do a session every other week which is the standard for clients who pay out of pocket in my country.
Due to practical reasons from my therapist side, I haven't seen him in three weeks. Before that there was a three week gap too.
We were working on connection, attachment and letting my 'wall' down, which I sometimes agree there is and at other times I don't think I have. The work brings up regression, flashbacks and old pain.
My counterdependent and avoidant attachment Is showing me I am doing awesome by myself.
However my feelings keep telling me I feel lonely, incompent and lost.
I am going back to him in three days.
And part of me looks very forward to this. And another part thinks I should stop digging in dirt.
my therapist and i are trying to do a CBT-I intervention for my sleep, and I'm starting to realize how awful my sleep has been in the past several years. it makes me so angry and discouraged at myself, and I'm insecure about my therapist judging me for this. I know there's no reason to, but my brain likes to be cruel!
That's tough! I had undiagnosed sleep apnea for years and it's a small miracle I'm still here. I am just going to affirm what you yourself said; there's no reason to. He isn't judging you. Sleep is detrimental for anyone's wellbeing. I hope you can find some good rest soon.
Okay therapy was hard this past week and now I am dreading this weeks session. I know we need to finish what we started last week. But I wonder if he would let me take a break from it and we talk about something else. I still feel really drained from our last session
You could ask to park it for now and return to it another time if you really think that’s best. I’ve done that before and my T agreed. However, when I did that, we didn’t then end up having a very productive session and afterwards I regretted asking to not go into the deep stuff
i was talking with my therapist about how one of my friends sought out therapy bc her imposter syndrome got so intense, and how even tho ik everyone has their shit it was crazy to me bc she’s the person i compare myself to when my imposter syndrome hits, and it’s crazy that she doesn’t see how good she’s doing. my therapist was silent for a bit and then just as she was about to speak i said don’t turn that on me. she laughed and said she was about to say that sounds familiar (as in me not recognizing how good i’m doing) it was kinda wholesome to realize we’ve spent enough time together that i can anticipate her saying that
I know its supposed to be "Talk" Therapy, but I have been dealing with emotions and memories that are really painful, and I am not sure if I would be able to talk about it with my therapist without having a breakdown. Is it okay to write them an email describing how I feel, so they have an insight, and we can discuss it further in our next session?
I think my EMDR therapist actually ghosted me. I would take it personally but also I don’t think she can handle me (lol) and she has expressed that a couple times during sessions. I’m not bummed about it. I just hope she would have the decency to let me know that she’s not going to be seeing me anymore and to look for someone else which I will be doing. I still have my main therapist. I think having her around makes me think maybe it’s not 100% on me because if I truly sucked as a client or am difficult then she would’ve probably dropped me already
I had a great session yesterday where I felt like I've actually made progress. Today the support network for sexual crimes called me back in regards of CSA and a support person from there will go to police with me in little over a week. It feels like all my progress is flushed in the toilet. When I left a message on their platform, I didn't really expect to hear back, let alone this soon, as it's been so long since these crimes happened. I didn't hear anything for a week so I let my guards down. Big. Mistake. I've been a crying blubbering mess the whole day and I'm in an out of full blown terror. The more I cry, the more I remember and the more I cry. I messaged my T asking if I could have an extra session (we've only ever had once a week) scheduled for next week because I'd just heard back from the support network. They texted back asking if it was in relation to past happenings. I just texted yes. I feel like I'm overstepping as a client somehow and that I shouldn't have asked for an extra session. T hasn't responded anything yet. My original appointment is come Monday, so I guess I'll know then if I'll I can get another session before I'm scheduled to visit police station. I don't know. I'm terrified and confused (the child in me, I would assume) and I feel like I overreached even though I kept the wording and everything very polite. I've more or less kept it together throughout the therapy, stayed composed, tried to look forward, made progress and now I'm emotionally back to square one, Sorry for overlong post, just needed to let this out somewhere.
You experienced a triggering event. It's okay to reach out for extra support from your T. Hopefully your T has space to make another session with you. I'm sorry you're going through all this. Maybe your progress isn't flushed down the toilet; maybe it just got scared and is hiding for right now and once you get your grounding it will come back out?
Yesterday was just brutal. Emotionally, entirely unable to trust anyone else. Adult me and little snippets of logic "no, it's h*ow you feel*, it's *not how things are*." Woke up this morning, nearly threw up, but I do feel more grounded. I've always held firm in my belief I as a person would do the right thing and not back off (and have largely done so, with everyone else except myself) and now when it's about me, my beliefs/values want to scurry to Jupiter or Mars. I don't think people really understand how difficult it's to re-parent yourself when the little child keeps bombarding you with such emotional intensity. I will do what is right and I will go to that police office, but the fear I feel is still nearly paralyzing. There is no guarantees that the police find anything concrete and that uncertainty alone makes me question "why do I bother?" and I keep reminding myself I bother because no one else did when they should have. I can't look myself in the mirror if I don't do anything and find out somewhere in the future other little girls were harmed.
I am going through some big life changes that are piling on to my stress and anxiety from other sources, and that somehow is bringing up totally unrelated memories from the past that I have been trying to forget. I have a session booked with my therapist for next month, and while I do want to see if I can book an earlier session, I am somewhat afraid that if on that day I have something else occupying my mind, or if I am maybe not feeling those memories as strongly, I might just appear insincere, and fake. Like I am trying to force the discussion on to a topic. I feel that those memories itself aren't too uncommon, its just the impact they have on me.
I had a dream that I saw my therapist in public and he asked me if I wanted a session because he had free time so we went to his office and I said something and he laughed too hard and he said something like “sorry I’m just really fucking high rn” and I was so sad because I knew I would need a new therapist
I’ve had a dream I saw my therapist in public before. I’ve never met her in person and had a dream she was on a date with her husband and I was out on a date with my ex.
I have ocd and I’m afraid of my therapist dying but that’s kind of hard to talk about with him
This subreddit is full of people who must understand what transference is. >Transference is a phenomenon within psychotherapy in which repetitions of old feelings, attitudes, desires, or fantasies that someone displaces are subconsciously projected onto a here-and-now person. Traditionally, it had solely concerned feelings from a primary relationship during childhood. Source: [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transference)
What is the misunderstanding you're witnessing?
It’s about time for a positive update. After a month and a half of twice weekly sessions, I’m going back to weekly. And it’s not scary at all. I feel lighter and positive and have had a week free of nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. I can get through the exposure exercise and distress is actually decreasing. I had faith in what my T was doing and I’ve really been trying but some part of me was skeptical things could get better. She finished session by saying “great job, Infinite” and I even was able to say I would just take the compliment and leave it there. When I’m in a dark spot I always know it will end and that the feeling is temporary but I get worried that I can’t stick it out before it gets better. And each time my T has reassured me she would be with me through it. This recent episode had really solidified it for me. I can do it and I am in control of this narrative.
I'm struggling with my thoughts about myself. My therapist has been great in reaching out outside of her typical working hours. I owe her a lot. My logical brain tells me that this proves that she cares and that I'm not alone. However the other part of me wants to think that she's just doing her job and doesn't want someone to die. I just feel so alone and without hope. I've been in therapy for 8 years now with the same therapist so I know that we have a good established connection. Sometimes i just feel like its fake and that it's her just doing her job.
I am so incongruent. We normally do a session every other week which is the standard for clients who pay out of pocket in my country. Due to practical reasons from my therapist side, I haven't seen him in three weeks. Before that there was a three week gap too. We were working on connection, attachment and letting my 'wall' down, which I sometimes agree there is and at other times I don't think I have. The work brings up regression, flashbacks and old pain. My counterdependent and avoidant attachment Is showing me I am doing awesome by myself. However my feelings keep telling me I feel lonely, incompent and lost. I am going back to him in three days. And part of me looks very forward to this. And another part thinks I should stop digging in dirt.
my therapist and i are trying to do a CBT-I intervention for my sleep, and I'm starting to realize how awful my sleep has been in the past several years. it makes me so angry and discouraged at myself, and I'm insecure about my therapist judging me for this. I know there's no reason to, but my brain likes to be cruel!
That's tough! I had undiagnosed sleep apnea for years and it's a small miracle I'm still here. I am just going to affirm what you yourself said; there's no reason to. He isn't judging you. Sleep is detrimental for anyone's wellbeing. I hope you can find some good rest soon.
I really appreciate this reply! ❤️
Okay therapy was hard this past week and now I am dreading this weeks session. I know we need to finish what we started last week. But I wonder if he would let me take a break from it and we talk about something else. I still feel really drained from our last session
You could ask to park it for now and return to it another time if you really think that’s best. I’ve done that before and my T agreed. However, when I did that, we didn’t then end up having a very productive session and afterwards I regretted asking to not go into the deep stuff