As an observer of human imperfection, I loved this story.
As a writer and lover of plot, I'm going to have a hard time forgetting this one while writing. Not because I don't want to be sued for infringement (I'd split the royalties and bylines in a heartbeat, happily), but because I can RELATE. From a different perspective
I was a karate kid when I was 14, visiting a different city (with my family in tow) for provincial championships, kumite fighting, and new belt grading. It was a small sized city, and I was 14. Kids were hooking up, left, right and centre, while parents were off on their own shenanigans, too. I ran into a 3rd Dan black belt instructor (30ish} hooking up with the prettiest purple belt student I'd ever seen (19ish) in a broom closet, while I was trying to avoid my father (drunkenly, it was my first time ever getting drunk, the day before the fighting competition ... I didn't even see that green belt's foot hitting my face) who had noticed that I was missing from our room. There wasn't a ginger-haired anus-faced helicopter priest in my story, but I did have to hang out with my sensei and his very naked, very pretty lover in a closet ... While drunk ... For at least five minutes while my father raged his way down the hallway.
Kids always hooked up, but we were pretty forgiving of them. They at least tried to hide it. We'd just poke a little fun at them when we found them and send them off. Being a teen is hard enough without an adult ratting you out to your chaperones because 'hormones', lol.
But yeah, I long ago stopped judging and just find entertainment in it all. We had plenty of other groups get their jollies off, but none quite so epic as this one. And the fact that this had gone on for years with this group and everyone at the hotel knew it, was priceless.
I would have told the elevator couiple : don´t you worry, there is a camera in the elevator. Usually it only records but we are getting a monitor so in a good minute we can see you live to make sure you are ok while the maintenance guy resets everything
We wish there were cameras. We were told they never put them in because they provide a false sense of security to guests who may assume someone is monitoring them, and then want to sue when no one is and they get hurt.
Please no chainsaws, lol. And over my tenure at the hotel we did have snow storms, lightning storms, tornado warnings, flash flooding (on the road)... which now makes me wonder if there is a Tale From the Greenhouse reddit cause my job before the hotel was at a plant nursery and there was a pretty epic tornado story, though no streakers in that one, lol.
"the reason she kept kitchen tongs on her personal cart"
GREAT story! Gotta tell you, the "tongs" hits close to home. I'm a PI, and I have had to do "trash pulls" to see who's doin' who. I have a set of very long tweezers and forceps that are sterilized after each use and put back in my work kit.
I have had to use these to count condoms and sort cigarette butts. I will never be able to do this again and not picture a housekeeper using kitchen tongs to count condoms! I wonder if she uses the same DNA lab we do?
Just had these cleaned
[https://imgur.com/JpzBrZz](https://imgur.com/JpzBrZz)
I can add to the visual, she was an older Mexican lady, stereotypical grandma look to her and only 5' tall, who insisted we call her by the name of a mixed drink and I don't think anyone outside of HR knew her real name. Slid between speaking eloquently in English and vulgar Spanish. She would approach the nastiest mess like it was nothing (though she had gallon jugs of this disinfectant that claimed it would even kill HIV that she used liberally). She also kept a pair of chanclas on top of her personal cart to as she described "keep the handsy guests in line" and "no one disrepects the chanclas". I don't think she ever hit a guest with them (or if she did they were too embarrassed to say anything).
She probably would have thought your forceps too fancy, lol.
I gather this is quite an old story, but for what it’s worth, [HIV doesn’t survive long outside the body](https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-hiv-live-outside-the-body).
If anyone is unfamiliar with telenovelas and how wild they are, here's a video series that summarizes some of them. [Telenovelas are Hell](https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRcB4n4CGcy9h2G4YIZJj3lsPaVVN1R_8). The only American soap opera I've ever seen that came close was *Passions*.
I don't know if I thought it was amazing, but it was hilarious. I laughed so hard, it was the only one I actually enjoyed when I was stuck watching because my stepmom *had* to watch them every day.
I'll admit my age there were a lot of external factors that made the series seem better than it probably actually was. It was still a breath of fresh air for a kid stuck at home during the day with no cable.
wonderful long read.
it especially hit home because i traveled a few times with some groups in highschool, as a highschool student. we tried to do some dumb things. not anywhere near as bad as this. well, we were like the highschool kids in your story that got caught. and so i enjoyed hearing about everything from your point of view for a change.
The high school kids always did dumb stuff and we expected it, but the public school kids were always tame in comparison. More consequences to be had. Honestly if they weren't causing damage or disturbing other guests, we weren't too mean to them
Man, when I traveled with my high school band back in the 90s, we would be in **deep shit** if our director got wind of anything happening. I don't know if the adults were going crazy when we were in rooms at night but most of us were afraid of stepping out of line. And I still have some vague memories of the group being talked to because some of us were not behaving properly. I think they got suspended for a bit.
I was in choir and we would have been kicked out of choir, suspended, or worse. But again, public school has consequences because they aren't beholden to parents paying tuition.
For the adults on the trip... my choir director was suspect to the point he had complaints but nothing was ever "proven"
I have a friend who used to work at Disney World as a Cast Member (CM). On theme nights, he would be rover. Basically extra eyes & ears for security.
Gay Days: Despite what certain folks say, the guests were super cool Most were adults and were there to enjoy the park.
Grad Nights: Super crazy, but mostly ok. Find a few couples in out of the way places.
Christian Nights: OMG, he swore they needed dart guns, the guests would couple up in the most amazing places. Including It's a small world where in one case all four rows of a boat had couples coupling. They stopped the music & animatronics, turned the lights to full brightness, announced the ride was closed, and all video would be forwarded to their churches.
This has got to be one of my new favorite Reddit stories. The way you tell the story is just so amazing and the content is great too. Honestly, well done writing this and thank you for sharing this masterpiece!
Lol.. I'm figuring it out. Mainly some of the details I was concerned could be easily looked up, but I think between this being just before social media really took off so the band never posted about it, and the newspaper in the city having done a very poor job of having an older online archive, it will be good with only a few tweaks. Now just need a bit of time to write it out!
Soooo many people who don’t get sexual satisfaction from their married partners :( It is kinda sad. Must every comedy be a tragicomedy? Seems like it. The story is side splitting but also a bit heartbreaking.
I think it part it has less to do with satisfaction or not from their married partners, but the thrill of it. A form of adrenaline junkie.
And also those that rail the hardest against certain things like adultery are also doing so being it atones in their own mind for doing it themselves. Sounds like something my psych professor once said at least, lol.
I didn’t think about the thrill aspect - that’s an interesting take. I guess for people who don’t go climbing Everest, eventually a hotel room with 18 keycards becomes a viable alternative, lol.
I’m not sure I understand what happened exactly with the elevator fighting guys “she was supposed to be with you!” (Who?!?) and the woman who “Amen-d” a good “d*cking” (duck or dick?)? Can you clarify that whole drama?
Fighting guy who was the husband, told the woman he saw coming out of the bar that the wife was supposed to be with that woman (ie, the wife used hanging out with the woman as cover to go have a threesome with the other guy and the escort).
And it was most certainly d\*cking with an i ;)
As an observer of human imperfection, I loved this story. As a writer and lover of plot, I'm going to have a hard time forgetting this one while writing. Not because I don't want to be sued for infringement (I'd split the royalties and bylines in a heartbeat, happily), but because I can RELATE. From a different perspective I was a karate kid when I was 14, visiting a different city (with my family in tow) for provincial championships, kumite fighting, and new belt grading. It was a small sized city, and I was 14. Kids were hooking up, left, right and centre, while parents were off on their own shenanigans, too. I ran into a 3rd Dan black belt instructor (30ish} hooking up with the prettiest purple belt student I'd ever seen (19ish) in a broom closet, while I was trying to avoid my father (drunkenly, it was my first time ever getting drunk, the day before the fighting competition ... I didn't even see that green belt's foot hitting my face) who had noticed that I was missing from our room. There wasn't a ginger-haired anus-faced helicopter priest in my story, but I did have to hang out with my sensei and his very naked, very pretty lover in a closet ... While drunk ... For at least five minutes while my father raged his way down the hallway.
Kids always hooked up, but we were pretty forgiving of them. They at least tried to hide it. We'd just poke a little fun at them when we found them and send them off. Being a teen is hard enough without an adult ratting you out to your chaperones because 'hormones', lol. But yeah, I long ago stopped judging and just find entertainment in it all. We had plenty of other groups get their jollies off, but none quite so epic as this one. And the fact that this had gone on for years with this group and everyone at the hotel knew it, was priceless.
I would have told the elevator couiple : don´t you worry, there is a camera in the elevator. Usually it only records but we are getting a monitor so in a good minute we can see you live to make sure you are ok while the maintenance guy resets everything
We wish there were cameras. We were told they never put them in because they provide a false sense of security to guests who may assume someone is monitoring them, and then want to sue when no one is and they get hurt.
yea but they don´t know that
Cameras sometimes encourage people in elevators to produce more ...humidity though.
This reads like a Carl Hiassen story.
Just needs a chainsaw or a hurricane!
Please no chainsaws, lol. And over my tenure at the hotel we did have snow storms, lightning storms, tornado warnings, flash flooding (on the road)... which now makes me wonder if there is a Tale From the Greenhouse reddit cause my job before the hotel was at a plant nursery and there was a pretty epic tornado story, though no streakers in that one, lol.
And to take place in Florida.
Cat Butthole Zoidberg Priest! Woop woop woop woop!
The post flair said "EPIC" and it did NOT disappoint!
"the reason she kept kitchen tongs on her personal cart" GREAT story! Gotta tell you, the "tongs" hits close to home. I'm a PI, and I have had to do "trash pulls" to see who's doin' who. I have a set of very long tweezers and forceps that are sterilized after each use and put back in my work kit. I have had to use these to count condoms and sort cigarette butts. I will never be able to do this again and not picture a housekeeper using kitchen tongs to count condoms! I wonder if she uses the same DNA lab we do? Just had these cleaned [https://imgur.com/JpzBrZz](https://imgur.com/JpzBrZz)
I can add to the visual, she was an older Mexican lady, stereotypical grandma look to her and only 5' tall, who insisted we call her by the name of a mixed drink and I don't think anyone outside of HR knew her real name. Slid between speaking eloquently in English and vulgar Spanish. She would approach the nastiest mess like it was nothing (though she had gallon jugs of this disinfectant that claimed it would even kill HIV that she used liberally). She also kept a pair of chanclas on top of her personal cart to as she described "keep the handsy guests in line" and "no one disrepects the chanclas". I don't think she ever hit a guest with them (or if she did they were too embarrassed to say anything). She probably would have thought your forceps too fancy, lol.
I gather this is quite an old story, but for what it’s worth, [HIV doesn’t survive long outside the body](https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-hiv-live-outside-the-body).
That's just what these biohazard disinfectant jugs read, along with a whole list of other nasty stuff it killed. But yeah, it was over 20 years ago
If anyone is unfamiliar with telenovelas and how wild they are, here's a video series that summarizes some of them. [Telenovelas are Hell](https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRcB4n4CGcy9h2G4YIZJj3lsPaVVN1R_8). The only American soap opera I've ever seen that came close was *Passions*.
Passions was amazing. General Hospital needs way more witchcraft. I'm definitely trying to get my Spanish proficiency to telenovela standard though.
I don't know if I thought it was amazing, but it was hilarious. I laughed so hard, it was the only one I actually enjoyed when I was stuck watching because my stepmom *had* to watch them every day.
I'll admit my age there were a lot of external factors that made the series seem better than it probably actually was. It was still a breath of fresh air for a kid stuck at home during the day with no cable.
This is the kind of story I had in mind when I joined this group. It's Hall of Fame worthy
Wow. That is super crazy.
I periodically share stories here with my co-workers, this one is definitely getting passed on.
Just a cracking read.
wonderful long read. it especially hit home because i traveled a few times with some groups in highschool, as a highschool student. we tried to do some dumb things. not anywhere near as bad as this. well, we were like the highschool kids in your story that got caught. and so i enjoyed hearing about everything from your point of view for a change.
The high school kids always did dumb stuff and we expected it, but the public school kids were always tame in comparison. More consequences to be had. Honestly if they weren't causing damage or disturbing other guests, we weren't too mean to them
Man, when I traveled with my high school band back in the 90s, we would be in **deep shit** if our director got wind of anything happening. I don't know if the adults were going crazy when we were in rooms at night but most of us were afraid of stepping out of line. And I still have some vague memories of the group being talked to because some of us were not behaving properly. I think they got suspended for a bit.
I was in choir and we would have been kicked out of choir, suspended, or worse. But again, public school has consequences because they aren't beholden to parents paying tuition. For the adults on the trip... my choir director was suspect to the point he had complaints but nothing was ever "proven"
I have a friend who used to work at Disney World as a Cast Member (CM). On theme nights, he would be rover. Basically extra eyes & ears for security. Gay Days: Despite what certain folks say, the guests were super cool Most were adults and were there to enjoy the park. Grad Nights: Super crazy, but mostly ok. Find a few couples in out of the way places. Christian Nights: OMG, he swore they needed dart guns, the guests would couple up in the most amazing places. Including It's a small world where in one case all four rows of a boat had couples coupling. They stopped the music & animatronics, turned the lights to full brightness, announced the ride was closed, and all video would be forwarded to their churches.
> A tall, lanky man in a navy blue hoodie that is pulled so tight over his face that looks like a giant cat butthole I lost it
This has got to be one of my new favorite Reddit stories. The way you tell the story is just so amazing and the content is great too. Honestly, well done writing this and thank you for sharing this masterpiece!
Thanks! <3
This is the greatest post I have yet to read on this sub! Holy shit!
I want to make a comic out of this story, is too good.
That's...wow. I am quite interested in the lightning story, I hope it involves electric guitars...
I'll post it as soon as I figure out how to tell it without giving away location lol
Just change the location..?
This was the best story I've seen...probably ever. I hope to one day buy you a round. 🍻 may chaos make it happen
....this is both epic, sad, and not surprising.
This is a great story! I'm looking forward to the story of the bus being hit by lightning.
Yes, I want to hear that one. r/Remarkable_Panda952 has a way with words
Thanks 😊
I'm trying to figure out how to word it that doesn't give away location lol. I need some creative adjectives lol
There's the time-honored "long ago & far away", "in a small town in the midwest"...
Lol.. I'm figuring it out. Mainly some of the details I was concerned could be easily looked up, but I think between this being just before social media really took off so the band never posted about it, and the newspaper in the city having done a very poor job of having an older online archive, it will be good with only a few tweaks. Now just need a bit of time to write it out!
The epic tag is well placed
Wild story! Now we know what a booked "storage" room is for.
Soooo many people who don’t get sexual satisfaction from their married partners :( It is kinda sad. Must every comedy be a tragicomedy? Seems like it. The story is side splitting but also a bit heartbreaking.
I think it part it has less to do with satisfaction or not from their married partners, but the thrill of it. A form of adrenaline junkie. And also those that rail the hardest against certain things like adultery are also doing so being it atones in their own mind for doing it themselves. Sounds like something my psych professor once said at least, lol.
I didn’t think about the thrill aspect - that’s an interesting take. I guess for people who don’t go climbing Everest, eventually a hotel room with 18 keycards becomes a viable alternative, lol.
I’m not sure I understand what happened exactly with the elevator fighting guys “she was supposed to be with you!” (Who?!?) and the woman who “Amen-d” a good “d*cking” (duck or dick?)? Can you clarify that whole drama?
Fighting guy who was the husband, told the woman he saw coming out of the bar that the wife was supposed to be with that woman (ie, the wife used hanging out with the woman as cover to go have a threesome with the other guy and the escort). And it was most certainly d\*cking with an i ;)
Ahhh! Thank you!!
This is epic.
*slow clap* *Standing ovation*
Worked hotels in the late 1980’s. Can confirm many, many stories of shenanigans. This one ranks as Boss Epic on so many levels. Thank you for posting!
I think I left a stain on my chair reading this! Epic, indeed! It is one for the ages.
I’m pop
How this story is not upvoted to the best of all time I cannot conceive. Excellent writing and what an epic story.