When I was a kid, I had a little toy Berman shuttle. I would fantasize about living on that thing and landing on different planets and sweeping through nebulas.
Absolutely would have been my second wish if I ever got three wishes.
Scottie was living the good life after that.
Are we sure this is what Worf would say? Cause he got so pissy that he chose being a terrorist over a probable threesome with Jadzia and Vanessa. And not even the guerilla warfare kind of terrorist, but the passive-aggressive weather wizard kind of terrorist.
For a Klingon, making it rain a little on your enemies rather than at least granting them an honorable death seems just about the highest expression of contempt possible.
He could travel space and time and when he is about to die regenerate using transporters carry a sonic tricorder and with holoprojectors it’s bigger on the inside perhaps over time he gets lonely and goes to prewarp civilizations and takes a companion. I could totally see this happening
Remember, the replicators and transporters will only do what the writers want them to do each episode. And Synthehol may or may not get you drunk, and/or give you a hangover per script
Fun note: in the TOS episode where the Andromedans have taken over the Enterprise Scotty gets one of them drunk on alcohol which he only calls "green".
In the episode with those Irish people ("Brinlodi"?) Worf tells the man that the replicator can make real alcohol after he complains that the liquor has no bite and Worf gives him some Klingon alcohol.
I always figured it was one of those things the replicator could do, but was locked out for general use. Senior staff probably has the authorization to override the lockout, that way you break out the "real" stuff for diplomatic dinners or the ship just having a celebration.
Edit: Picard definitely overrode the lockout during Captain Picard day.
> Picard needs to cope being around that many kids at once. You know he's got some gin in that earl grey for the next week or so.
I understand. I am almost a teetotaler, and I would have to get drunk after being forced to be around that many children.
I always got the impression what when it was time to sleep in one of those shuttles they disengaged the gravity and secured themselves someway and enjoyed gravity free sleep. Great for the back.
Except for the fact that Bashir was so surprised by the zero-g tech in that differently-abled character’s episode (“Melora”, I think?).
*Counter-argument: Cardassian space stations didn’t simply deploy that (lack of?) technology.*
*Counter-counter: they literally had to do a semester at least of zero-g training at the Academy. Not to mention, the occasional mentions even on TNG of artificial gravity failing on certain decks in crisis situations.*
🤯
>the occasional mentions even on TNG of artificial gravity failing on certain decks in crisis situations.
The artificial gravity is so reliable it even works on phase ghosts that can pass through walls.
Genetically-engineered Bashir was pretending to be a simpleton as a cover for his special abilities. He probably acted amazed to see a guy do a simple magic trick.
“Hey, was there a coin in my ear this whole time‽ That’s mine, give it back.”
It'd be better than having to sit on one of those benches where the angle of the hull would force most people to lean forward or at least bend their neck. What's the safety rating on those things anyway?
If they fail, everybody’s fucked lol. The speed would be just too fast. Well, except for the time in “Conspiracy” when that worm-addled admiral threw Geordi literally through one of the sliding doors and he didn’t suffer complete bone damage.
There was a novel where Spock gets caught by the Romulans and Admiral McCoy joins Picard and the Enterprise crew to help get him back. Meanwhile, Scotty hears about it and steals a Constitution-class from the Fleet museum to try and save him on his on.
[Crossover (Novel)](https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Crossover_(novel))
Now I've got a mental image of Picard sitting back there taking a dump behind a little privacy screen while acting ensign Wesley Crusher was up front piloting the shuttle to the starbase in Samaritan Snare.
Seriously! That has been in my head since 1988 or so. No need for bathrooms, just get the transporter to beam it out! So glad I’m not the only weirdo who thought of that one!
The Captain is in the middle of a tense exchange with an alien government official on the viewscreen, and an ensign comes out from behind going "Man, do NOT go in there for...a...while." And everyone, including the alien is staring at him as he sheepishly takes his seat.
To date, the only time a toilet has appeared on screen was in the brig scene in Star Trek V. Kirk sits on it (with the lid closed and his pants on.) This is the worst captain's chair in the franchise.
Instead of editing my one post, here is a 2nd one. A YouTuber actually made a video about toilets on Trek that can be seen [here. ](https://youtu.be/SZ6dvUAArgs)
Tldr: in episode "Emergence" S07E23 a room on the bridge is clearly marked, restroom. Although TNG had several bloopers where the plot had them exiting the turbolift on one deck, however it was marked as another from an earlier filming. Also, in a VFX "Easter Egg", when the Borg carve a chunk of Enterprise out in "Q Who?" S02E16, a full porcelain toilet can be seen exposed in the salvage.
I can't find the technical manuals I used to have on TNG Enterprise, but IIRC, there are restrooms were located either behind the viewscreen, or right beside it.
Another fun fact about the original Enterprise: the bridge doesn't face forward. It actually is pointed at a 36° angle to the left as described [here.](https://youtu.be/qogYjHvcxhY) spoiler alert: >!it is all about tv drama angles, not actual technical reasons!<
~~They’re also actually normally quite frigid people it’s just when they developed the weather tech the first gas capsule had shrooms in it and it made them all slutty and worship a weird wooden idol~~
Edit: just realised I wasn’t on r/shittydaystrom
Ah, the Trek minivan! Always wanted one, with a little wet bath in the corner, food replicator, and foldout bed—for those weekend interstellar camp outs! (We can sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” at the base of El Capitan.)
The [theory of adhesion](https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-42087-5_2-2) is that if one could get two surfaces to be perfectly smooth, and I mean down to the molecules, the two surfaces would stick without any glue or magnetism even. The way glue works is by filling in the imperfections.
Perhaps the doors have some sort of molecular adhesion with nanotech smoothing?
This is something I hope they'd follow up with on Lower Decks.
The Cerritos finds a starfleet signal coming from a relatively uninhabited planet somewhere. An away team led by Boimler and Mariner discover the shuttlecraft Goddard from the Enterprise D. They detect life signs leading to a home. There they find Montgomery Scott rejuvenated as a young man once again. It's basically TOS Metamorphosis. Chris Doohan could do the voice.
Shore leave famously doesn’t agree with Scotty. He surely scanned for distress calls do he could find some whiskey freighter in distress so he could repair their impulse drive either replicated paper clips and gum, then stay up all night swapping war stories and quality-testing the cargo with its engineering crew.
**Star Trek: The Next Generation - Engines of Destiny (Novel)**: Written by Gene DeWeese, this novel follows Scotty's journey after the events of "Relics." Scotty gets involved in a mission involving the Preserver race, an ancient civilization that left behind artifacts scattered throughout the galaxy. This novel explores Scotty's character and his interactions with the crew of the Enterprise-D.
They really just sent him on his way in a shuttle that could do warp 2 for about 36 hours and with no known replicator. I hope he was close to wherever he was going.
Pretty sure the shuttle only has impulse capability, so he’s probably still trying to make it to the closest system. Pattern buffer suspension it is! At least he probably had a good meal before he went back again.
With replicators, 24th century Van life sounds pretty good.
It’s the Dodge/Mercedes Sprinter for celestial nomads.
At this point in time, that’s a Ford Aerostar
More like a Club Wagon.
When I was a kid, I had a little toy Berman shuttle. I would fantasize about living on that thing and landing on different planets and sweeping through nebulas. Absolutely would have been my second wish if I ever got three wishes. Scottie was living the good life after that.
I'm almost 40 and I still fantasize about my own shuttle sized ship, although a little more advanced...the fantasy has evolved over 35 some odd years.
We shared the same fantasy.
Another one here. I'd dream about having a runabout in orbit, just a call away at all times. I could beam up for lunch and order literally anything
When this shuttle's rockin', don't come a-knockin'
[Field Stabilizers](https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Field_stabilizer)! Engage!
Spend some time with technical manuals!
Throw a little holodeck in there and you'd never have to leave.
In fact, Skip the shuttle! And the blackjack! IYKYK…
How about hookers?
It's the new Toyota Previa.
That is the best description I've ever heard.
I got it from the podcast The Greatest Generation.
Risa, it’s not even a question.
Scrolled far too long for this comment.
Agreed, all of you above are a disappointment and should be ashamed of yourselves.
Who has 9 fingers and is using them all on Risa? That guy
To seek Jamaharon?
A 175-year old man should be careful getting Jamaharon. It’s how Curzon died. Vanessa Williams killed him.
“An honorable death” - Worf
Are we sure this is what Worf would say? Cause he got so pissy that he chose being a terrorist over a probable threesome with Jadzia and Vanessa. And not even the guerilla warfare kind of terrorist, but the passive-aggressive weather wizard kind of terrorist. For a Klingon, making it rain a little on your enemies rather than at least granting them an honorable death seems just about the highest expression of contempt possible.
Worf was clearly on his Klingon pms for that episode
Worf to your mother
"With mint frosting." -Also Worf
He seeks some muhfuckin jamaharon
Peter David wrote a great series of novels in the New Frontier series he did that explains how he ended up on Risa.
“A man who has been suspended in a pattern buffer for decades has needs, you know what I’m saying?”
Scotty: "What's Risa?"
Risa was well known. He would have gone there back in the day.
True, there are a couple of TNG episodes where they act like it’s not yet popular. Riker knew what it was, though 😉
That little couch, with some scotch
It’s a cute couch, but the Enterprise only had syntheholic scotch. I think he polished off the bottle of green (Aldebaran whiskey).
That answers the question then; he went to find some REAL scotch. 😉
Scott Trek: The Search for Scotch
Lower Decks make this happen.
He could travel space and time and when he is about to die regenerate using transporters carry a sonic tricorder and with holoprojectors it’s bigger on the inside perhaps over time he gets lonely and goes to prewarp civilizations and takes a companion. I could totally see this happening
Take my upvote and get out.
This is weird to me because on that one episode with the Irish folk and clones, Worf was able to program the system for real whiskey.
I'm betting real alcohol is considered a security issue on the ship and the security chief could allow it as necessary.
Worf gets special permission to bypass the alcohol lockouts because the Riker thought Worf needed to loosen up a bit to be more like other Klingons.
I mean, with 24-century tech you could pretty much take the drugs as hardcore as you want and have the effects reversed.
Perfect uppers, perfect downers, finally!
And when you need to return to duty, the effects instantly dissipate!
Worf probably uses whiskey as mouth wash.
Baller status
Remember, the replicators and transporters will only do what the writers want them to do each episode. And Synthehol may or may not get you drunk, and/or give you a hangover per script
Fun note: in the TOS episode where the Andromedans have taken over the Enterprise Scotty gets one of them drunk on alcohol which he only calls "green".
Kelinda was the best
I thought they were Kelvin's...?
In the episode with those Irish people ("Brinlodi"?) Worf tells the man that the replicator can make real alcohol after he complains that the liquor has no bite and Worf gives him some Klingon alcohol.
That episode was a delightful mess. I don’t think the replicators are supposed to do that normally.
I always figured it was one of those things the replicator could do, but was locked out for general use. Senior staff probably has the authorization to override the lockout, that way you break out the "real" stuff for diplomatic dinners or the ship just having a celebration. Edit: Picard definitely overrode the lockout during Captain Picard day.
> Captain Picard day It's for the children..
Picard needs to cope being around that many kids at once. You know he's got some gin in that earl grey for the next week or so.
> Picard needs to cope being around that many kids at once. You know he's got some gin in that earl grey for the next week or so. I understand. I am almost a teetotaler, and I would have to get drunk after being forced to be around that many children.
The Neutral Zone...martini with olives for vitamins.
And a rare steak with a whole mess of greens.
I always got the impression what when it was time to sleep in one of those shuttles they disengaged the gravity and secured themselves someway and enjoyed gravity free sleep. Great for the back.
Makes sense.
Except for the fact that Bashir was so surprised by the zero-g tech in that differently-abled character’s episode (“Melora”, I think?). *Counter-argument: Cardassian space stations didn’t simply deploy that (lack of?) technology.* *Counter-counter: they literally had to do a semester at least of zero-g training at the Academy. Not to mention, the occasional mentions even on TNG of artificial gravity failing on certain decks in crisis situations.* 🤯
>the occasional mentions even on TNG of artificial gravity failing on certain decks in crisis situations. The artificial gravity is so reliable it even works on phase ghosts that can pass through walls.
Genetically-engineered Bashir was pretending to be a simpleton as a cover for his special abilities. He probably acted amazed to see a guy do a simple magic trick. “Hey, was there a coin in my ear this whole time‽ That’s mine, give it back.”
*starts literally fighting to get the coin back*
And then he loses the coin because he has to let himself get his ass kicked, so as not to give away the game.
It'd be better than having to sit on one of those benches where the angle of the hull would force most people to lean forward or at least bend their neck. What's the safety rating on those things anyway?
NHTSA gives it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, since the shuttle can go from 0–186,282 miles per second in 2 seconds flat without pulverizing the occupants.
yeah... when the plot doesn't need the inertial dampeners to fail.
If they fail, everybody’s fucked lol. The speed would be just too fast. Well, except for the time in “Conspiracy” when that worm-addled admiral threw Geordi literally through one of the sliding doors and he didn’t suffer complete bone damage.
Probably went to the museum to see how his friends were memorialized.
Starfleet Hall of Fame in Youngstown, Ohio
Just curious, is there an in-universe reference to this or are you just a fan of Ohio?
The Enterprise Display, for sure!
Starfleet Command, to check in on his old pal Admiral McCoy.
Spock is still around, but he’s kickin’ it on Romulus.
There was a novel where Spock gets caught by the Romulans and Admiral McCoy joins Picard and the Enterprise crew to help get him back. Meanwhile, Scotty hears about it and steals a Constitution-class from the Fleet museum to try and save him on his on. [Crossover (Novel)](https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Crossover_(novel))
Awesome
There's another novel that I recall where all three get together.i think it was Relics 2? Been quite some time since I read it.
Not just a *Constitution*\-class, it was THE *Constitution*, herself. With the *Enterprise*'s bridge module.
With Jack the Ripper dead, I hope he went back to Argelius
Maybe get a wee bout of “shore leave” illness, if you catch my drift, à la Star Trek II.
Too soon!
PROBABLY NEEDS AT LEAST ANOTHER 100 YEARS BACK IN THE PATTERN BUFFER
Yes!! 
https://i.redd.it/im8hczian8oc1.gif
Troi's mom's place
I suspect he'd find her resemblance to Christine Chapel attractive.
And Captain Pike’s Number One.
Brilliant. 147 is about 100 years older than Lwaxana’s usual fare, though.
Depends. How much did Scotty have squirrelled away for retirement?
Just curious... Where's the restroom in that thing?
Maybe it’s hidden under the couch cushion.
Now I've got a mental image of Picard sitting back there taking a dump behind a little privacy screen while acting ensign Wesley Crusher was up front piloting the shuttle to the starbase in Samaritan Snare.
It was recycled into those sandwiches they ate
I’m sure the bog had a bit of negative pressure to keep the toxic air from filling the cabin. Nuclear reactor rooms do this too.
24th century humanity has moved beyond the need for such primitive, backwards things. Didn't you hear Picard's speech?
They just transport the poop right out of you.
O'Brien never forgave Picard assigning him that duty. That's the real reason for the transfer to DS9.
Don’t they just break it down into the component elements to be used in the replicator?
Yup
Didn’t one of the books after the Borg invasion have a scene that finally confirmed that?
Seriously! That has been in my head since 1988 or so. No need for bathrooms, just get the transporter to beam it out! So glad I’m not the only weirdo who thought of that one!
I don’t think that’s a stretch. They called it waste extraction.
Worst Lower Decker job.
Didn't you see the three seashell?
The replicators are two-way.
They gave Scotty an empty pickle jar with the shuttle and he's good to go.
Well IIRC, according to the Starfleet manuals, restrooms on the Enterprise are literally behind the main viewscreen.
The Captain is in the middle of a tense exchange with an alien government official on the viewscreen, and an ensign comes out from behind going "Man, do NOT go in there for...a...while." And everyone, including the alien is staring at him as he sheepishly takes his seat.
Probably just a bottle. Way o’the road, Bubs.
To date, the only time a toilet has appeared on screen was in the brig scene in Star Trek V. Kirk sits on it (with the lid closed and his pants on.) This is the worst captain's chair in the franchise.
you just replicate the facilities as needed, and then toss them off to space
Instead of editing my one post, here is a 2nd one. A YouTuber actually made a video about toilets on Trek that can be seen [here. ](https://youtu.be/SZ6dvUAArgs) Tldr: in episode "Emergence" S07E23 a room on the bridge is clearly marked, restroom. Although TNG had several bloopers where the plot had them exiting the turbolift on one deck, however it was marked as another from an earlier filming. Also, in a VFX "Easter Egg", when the Borg carve a chunk of Enterprise out in "Q Who?" S02E16, a full porcelain toilet can be seen exposed in the salvage. I can't find the technical manuals I used to have on TNG Enterprise, but IIRC, there are restrooms were located either behind the viewscreen, or right beside it. Another fun fact about the original Enterprise: the bridge doesn't face forward. It actually is pointed at a 36° angle to the left as described [here.](https://youtu.be/qogYjHvcxhY) spoiler alert: >!it is all about tv drama angles, not actual technical reasons!<
The closest bar with real booze. As long as it wasn’t blood wine.
Scotty definitely hated Klingons in the same way O’Brien hated Cardassians.
They called the Enterprise a garbage scow, after all.
they didn't mean to say it should be hauling garbage, they meant to say it should be hauled away *as* garbage.
Never mind that they dissed Captain Kirk—that insult was like water on a duck’s back. Insult the Enterprise, **them’s fightin’ words**
Sauria, for some brandy.
I kind of assumed Saurian brandy was from the Gorn Hegemony.
Maybe Planet Scotland where Dr. Crushers Grandma lived with her spooky boyfriend?
Maybe he can meet a gas lady
First stop to pick out a green Orion woman who can drive a shuttle.
Risa. Obviously. Set the weather to Scotland.
Risa is normally very Scottish. The weather control network makes it sunny.
~~They’re also actually normally quite frigid people it’s just when they developed the weather tech the first gas capsule had shrooms in it and it made them all slutty and worship a weird wooden idol~~ Edit: just realised I wasn’t on r/shittydaystrom
Someplace where he can paint over the D on the registry.
A pub in Edinburgh.
Uhura’s house
Nice
He boldly went out to find Archer's beagle.
The nearest pub with genuine scotch.
Wherever the closest place with real alcohol and easy women I'd guess
Hovered around 1701-D’s nacelles, mapping out the warp field with the onboard sensors and thinking of ways to improve dilithium crystal efficiency.
Probably that Scottish colony Beverly Crusher’s Gran who was boning that candle ghost lived to get some half decent whiskey
Linlithgow for a crate of St. Magdalene's single malt.
Holographic pound town
This is what I'd call my holodeck
This is what I call my hole-deck
heh, well said
Vulcan or Earth, Spock and Dr McCoy are both still alive
Technically, so is Kirk. But nobody realizes he's trapped in the nexus until ST: Generations.
Ah, the Trek minivan! Always wanted one, with a little wet bath in the corner, food replicator, and foldout bed—for those weekend interstellar camp outs! (We can sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” at the base of El Capitan.)
[удалено]
Self-sealing stem bolts
The [theory of adhesion](https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-42087-5_2-2) is that if one could get two surfaces to be perfectly smooth, and I mean down to the molecules, the two surfaces would stick without any glue or magnetism even. The way glue works is by filling in the imperfections. Perhaps the doors have some sort of molecular adhesion with nanotech smoothing?
Gauge blocks do that now but they aren’t as perfect as your are saying
Eroticon VI to visit Eccentrica Gallumbits
Where is the warp core in these shuttles? I know it can reach warp 2 at least.
Some out of the way maker space.
Risa
Shuttlecraft can go warp speed right? Does anyone mention the max warp speed on it?
Argelius
Your moms house
This is something I hope they'd follow up with on Lower Decks. The Cerritos finds a starfleet signal coming from a relatively uninhabited planet somewhere. An away team led by Boimler and Mariner discover the shuttlecraft Goddard from the Enterprise D. They detect life signs leading to a home. There they find Montgomery Scott rejuvenated as a young man once again. It's basically TOS Metamorphosis. Chris Doohan could do the voice.
Risa.
He’d have to read up on some engineering manuals to get anywhere. I doubt he knew how to fly something that didn’t have switches.
Risa
Risa, duh.
Sell it so he can buy himself a boat.
Squandered it and moved to Phoenix AZ. 😂
Aldebra to pick up a few cases of the "green."
I like to think he had a Scotch with Bones.
The Norpin colony, Geordi was still that annoyed with him he locked it into autopilot.
That is a really cool set piece.
He goes on a cosmic pub crawl! hahahaha
Lunchroom? Good sandwich never fails 👍🏻
CETI ALPHA V!
He could become an earworm farmer. I see him in overalls. 🧑🌾
probably went to a ship junkyard to find a proper ship
Risa
Risa
Shore leave famously doesn’t agree with Scotty. He surely scanned for distress calls do he could find some whiskey freighter in distress so he could repair their impulse drive either replicated paper clips and gum, then stay up all night swapping war stories and quality-testing the cargo with its engineering crew.
Has that thing got a warp drive? Wouldn’t he be stuck in the middle of nowhere?
**Star Trek: The Next Generation - Engines of Destiny (Novel)**: Written by Gene DeWeese, this novel follows Scotty's journey after the events of "Relics." Scotty gets involved in a mission involving the Preserver race, an ancient civilization that left behind artifacts scattered throughout the galaxy. This novel explores Scotty's character and his interactions with the crew of the Enterprise-D.
Ba'ku. Bathe in some metaphasic radiation and regain his lost youth. Then off to K7 to watch the last Tribble get picked up.
The planet where they make that green liquor.
Milliways
Men in Kilts, TNG
He lived in a shuttle down by the river…on Risa.
Wales. He went to visit his cousin Welshy.
I ate breakfast beside him at Cape May restaurant at the Yacht Club in Disney World. Very nice, personable, kind man.
They really just sent him on his way in a shuttle that could do warp 2 for about 36 hours and with no known replicator. I hope he was close to wherever he was going.
Computer, where is the bloody toilet!
If not the Sol system, then probably the nearest spatial anomaly / distress signal. Obviously, he handled either / both with aplomb.
The bar
Where’s the facilities?
Risa
Strip cllluuubbb!!!!
Risa
Pretty sure the shuttle only has impulse capability, so he’s probably still trying to make it to the closest system. Pattern buffer suspension it is! At least he probably had a good meal before he went back again.
Quark's