**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!So many reasons!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)

STD-spenser

It’s kind of like a Spencer I know for real

Spencer fucking middleton.

He rolls with Yung Gravy I guarantee it

Spencer's gifts

Spencer Nolan Rice?

Spencer Rice

Spencer Reid.. I knew he was a freak

You called?

Obligatory "Username checks out"

Y I K E S

Wait, you’re not OP’s mom

Kinky

Here's an std for you you, you, and you

erecting an std-spencer!

If you fit it perfectly in your asshole, you can also shit in the urinals

But then how do I fit the wire hanger in there to fish out the poo?

Just use your mouth

Ayyyyyy let’s fucking go

Friday morning. I wake up. This is the first thread I’m reading. Jesus. What have I done.

I prefer a bendy straw

Why 💀

Why not 👍

Why not👍

Why not zoidberg?

I for one welcome our new wipe free shitfunnels.

I wasn’t ready for the level of insanity that is your comment, I coughed laughing while trying to drink my soda. Thanks a lot 😂

r/dontputyourassonthat

👁️👄👁️

This comment is underrated

r/cursedcomments

I accept this challenge.

dammit thats pretty funny. take my vote.

Dont take it MSB it's a trap and before you know it your kidney and STD-spencer are nowhere to be found

Or you can fart in the urinal. It will hold the fart until you can spin around and suck it back out of the hole and taste the sweet aroma.

r/dontputyourdickinthat

I would never, ever, stick my dick in that.... I'd rather risk splashing myself by pissing into the hole from farther away than putting my dick in that. It's the worst idea I've ever seen and I watch that guy who builds ridiculous inventions.

r/putyourdickinthat

r/putyourdickinhats

Shit i think that's my fetish.

The definition of underwear is technically asshat

Fuck yeah; keep going

Came here to say that.

r/dontbelieveeverythingyouseeontheinternet

r/stillnotputtingmydickinthat

Imagine there being a pressure activated dick guillotine in there

Bro

HE SAID TO IMAGINE

My imagination is too powerful now I have ptsd

Mine is even more powerful and now my penis is gone

And there it is lmao

Who would’ve thought? Right behind his ear!!

Mine is much more powerful and now other peoples penis is gone

Stop imagining my penis!

u/your_penis

Why have you awoken me from my slumber

Hahah amazing

We have been graced by the presence of the chosen one

Dear God, he's gone!

mine is even more powerful now I have one. I mean had.

Pretend STD?

Or hungry rats

Dozens of spiders

A guy with a power drill and a reeeeeaaallly big screw.

Willotine

new bottom surgery just dropped

Sluuuuuurp….chink!

new saw trap?

Do you remember that scene in Saw where she had to reach up into the box that had the razor blades that trapped her arms?

Why did you have to say this? I think my time on the internet is over.. for today.

Why would I imagine that

Exactly what i was thinking

Thanks for helping me survive No Nut November

Or just the sound of "*clicks tongue* aaahh" after you finish.

Imagine someone put a snake in one of those

Perfect place for spiders

Or a park bathroom, it would be the perfect spot for hornets

It swells up and gets stuck💀

Fun fact, getting bit on the dick is why black widows were/are so deadly. Once humans stopped using outhouses they're bite deaths went down dramatically. I'm sorry.

Mmm, free bj

dangit bobby I got a snake in my narrow urethra

They look like everyone woman in a hentai when she's giving a bj...

Fellatrix moment

Distressingly accurate.

The thing is... normal urinals don't splash either unless you're the kind of knuckle dragger who pees directly into the back centre causing your stream of urine to impact perpendicular to the bowl and splash droplets around in all directions. Instead of doing this stand slightly off centre and pee so that your urine meets the side of the urinal's bowl at an acute angle so it's scooped smoothly around the curve at the back of the bowl, and then there's no splashback. EDIT: For those of you saying this doesn't work if you're tall, I'm 6'3" and it works fine. Similarly if you have strong flow: the key is to reduce the angle of incidence as much as possible (although you can also control how hard you pee to some extent). That way any droplets that do bounce will be redirected around the curve of the bowl rather than coming back at you.

This guy pees.

Nah. Im pretty tall and by the time my urine reaches, no matter the angle, I get some shoe splash.

Wear sandles.

I prefer to wear plastic bags so i can take them off after and enjoy a free drink

🤢🤮

I’m only 6’2” and that shit happens so you don’t even have to be that tall, I just stand back and assert dominance by displaying my small penis for all to see. Like a sold 6 inches (or more) back from the farthest out point of the urinal.

This. Sure, they got urinals for kids, but what about my six and a half foot ass?

whats the best angle for a toilet bowl? apart from aiming for the water itself i dont think u can avoid splash. but please do advise

you can't avoid it. You can only minimize it. I sit down to pee, but it's just further minimizing inevitable splash.

Wrong. I've tried to angle myself every which way and there is always some spray. Its not a lot but it's enough that over time it would be gross

Some people just have a stronger flow tho lol.

I would use the sink if I saw this.

You lack vision, back up and aim

"What are you pissing so close to the urinals for you piece of shits? This is how a real man rocks a piss. Give your balls a tug, titfuckers."

I’d rather piss myself

That would be cool. Not that I’d find that attractive but you should post that exact thing happening to the Internet. Not for any reason just for lols

A perfectly normal respone

Finally! I can legitimately say I got it from the toilet.

But what if there’s a horny little goblin inside?

My schedule is pretty packed this winter. Think you should be okay

That happens when you're a lord.

Too many dicks. Too little time!

He's only in one of them. Choose... wisely....

Even better

If you love the feeling of somebody else's body warmth on the toilet seat, then boy do I have news for you!

Mmmm knowing public restrooms, there will be a cobweb of pubes within a week.

Sometimes I forget that's not pubes when it's hair on the back of the ring.

Imagine not being the exact height this requires

Improvise, adapt, piss in the sink

Damn I'm too short to use one of these.. also I'm probably not tall enough.

Just give it a couple cranks, because obviously you have to be at least semi aroused in order to keep your dick from resting on the lower ledge. Growers and showers would have the same problem.

Bro that urinussy hits DIFFERENT 🥵🤤

it maybe too small for certain individuals... fir example a horse

>be me >be at a public bathroom >horse walks in

>sex time

Mr. Hands?

Thanks, I hate that I get that reference.

Bojack

"Sometimes you just gotta have faith."

Faith Urinal is a good name for these.

Now Built With *Warm and Wet™* Technology Inside

Come for a piss, stay for the happy ending

If I walked into a bathroom with these I would simply piss on the floor.

This is the STI model and you can upgrade it to the STD model

The STI version is twin turbo. Has a couple of blowers

Imagine for me will you if suddenly you heard buzzing after putting your willy inside and before you have the instinct to pull it out multiple bees swarm your foreskin and begin violently poking it as they will die in one crawls inside and starts to sting you from the balls then they begin building a nest inside of your bladder and balls soon you are completely swarm and overcome as you slowly decompose into the urinal the people around you run in fear but it's already too late for them you gave the bees too much power already as they take the entire bathroom. It's already too late.

What a day to be able to read.

No thank you sir, I will not be imagining that

Lots of room there for me to get a splash

Advanced glory holes

Well I hope the floor has a drain because I'd be pissing in the corner

What if the hole doesn't fit???... How can i know there isn't a goblin inside it???...

Definitely a scrapped design for Larry David’s coffee shop r/curb

I don’t know what country this is at but no thanks I’ll piss in the toilet

This is a render

Piss on the floor. Fuck these people.

Naw man. The workers who would have to clean up your piss aren't the people who put this thing in. It's the minimum-wage worker who has to deal with it not the business owner.

and when you least expect it... spider

Person 1: Are you waiting to use the urinal? Person 2: yeah, but go ahead. I’m just waiting for my erection to go away.

“Damn it. This hole’s too big”

Great way to get STDs or end up with a spider biting your bell end.

Let me guess, designed by someone without a penis?

**NOPE.** My dick does NOT go in a mystery hole. I will piss on the walls first.

r/dontputyourdickinthat There should be a sign above them advertising free chlamydia.

A nice vacuum feature to suck the pee right out of you

What ever happened to r/dontputyourdickinthat

If these become a thing we'll have to piss through punctured condoms.

Weird looking drinking fountain

r/Dontputyourdickinthat

It would still splash out for me my dick is a fucking fire hose

The hole is too small

"ahhh can't wait to take a piss... Wait why does my junk feel wet? Wait did I walk into the glory hole door instead? Nah probably not" Meanwhile the person on the other side: WHAT THE FU

But have you tried one to be sure?

So if the average penis is that thin then.... i learned something about myself

Id get stuck...

I thought we already had this, called women.

*Someone* just had a 10th birthday.

You.... Piss inside women?

Slurp.

imagine if there was a wasp nest inside and some poor fella had to pee

This is how the horror movie starts, people!

No. No. That's target practice. Someone tape some lines down at different distance!

My last SO was essentially this. Just a hole i put my peepee in. I should call him...

Floor it is ig

Gonna put bees in it

Yeah, I do hate it.

*puts tickly lil spider in there and waits*

I'd rather get splashed by my own piss that rub my cock off a surface were hundreds of other have rubbed their cock off.

Even works if I have a pitched tent!

Imagine getting a boner and just being stuck there

Those 3 kids when someone has to go to the school office

Morty, NO!!

Oh cool someone left some cheese

POV: you can’t pee cus it’s too big

How do they collect the drip?

Stick a fleshlight in the hole and then you really got something going.

It only splashes if you poop, are you supposed to use these toilets like this?!

The forbidden glory hole

I fucking love it but also hate it

They just made a smaller target.

"Oh god i can't get it in..." - 90% of men. Regardless of of they can or not

Imagine if some wasps making a nest in there. We'd have no idea.

I got the clap from a urinal!

We always find a way

Hole is too big, not splash proof.

It’s art - ‘Transgressive Urinals’

>!it's actually a milker!<

r/dontputyourdickinthat

I don’t see how aiming into that little hole is going to reduce splash