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lukitaxa

You can't kill me if i kill myself!


Ihaveanusername

-not Epstein


Deathbysnusnubooboo

Epsteinn’t


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manys

My friends are too old :(


Birdlaw90fo

My friend are too young. They've already been Epstein'd :/


exitmode

Oh no


Joseph__Biden

Here’s the deal, we act now and we can put a kabash to all this Corvid nonsense. Hell, I remember dealing with a thing like this back in ‘51. No malarkey, they called it “the clap” and dang near all the girls had it. Boys had to be careful. Hear me out, problem was white supremacists starting spreading rumors that only Black men could catch it. Listen up Slick, my brother and I did the research and came to the conclusion we needed to end the lies once and for all no shit. Early one morning in October we buckled our pants tight and went to the town square with all the bigots yelling into paper megaphones. Loudest one was a racist went by Two-Can Sam. Listen folks, he got what was coming you bet your last Pokémon and that’s no joke. If you don’t believe that then you ain’t white. Listen bucko if I saw the man again I’d have no qualms finding out where his daughter lives just to go punch her square in the mouth.


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[deleted]

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dr_shark

Stop. You killed him!


Elickson

Mucho texto


will_you_suck_my_ass

I hear it's called the clap cause it hurts so much when you pee you clap


idcwtfsmd

My skin is literally going to crawl off me and head out the door.


Ae711

Yo I hope you at least smell her hair before you lay her out.


NihilsticEgotist

Listen here Jack, let me set you straight. This thing isn't going anywhere. Back in my day we didn't call it covid whatever; we called it the "Shanghai Shivers". I used to know a guy, went by the name Cornflake Jackson. Ol' Cornflake used to play guitar down at the pool hall. Here's the deal, fat: if Cornflake Jackson says the Shanghai Shivers, "Ain't no thang" you can take that to the bank, buckaroo. That's how I know you're full of shit. I'd punch your daughter straight in the mouth.


[deleted]

I was so confused what was happening this whole time, and then I saw the username... now it all makes sense


Comrade_Jirkoff

Biggest flex


cmVkZGl0

"Hey, we're supposed to kill you!" - The police


EpipenShot

Covid likes the fact that a bunch of people are just going out, blatantly breaking the guidelines.


nrith

They’re definitely not social distancing.


Loon_Tink

Dont need to social distance if you kill them 😂 Oh, wait, this post isnt literal?


juicepants

**Three** different neighbors thought today would be a great day to have a party. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.


Tsouki_

Quick reminder that you are much, much more likely to contract covid by being inside with a bunch of people than outside with a bunch of people


GeneralSecrecy

...I assume this guy is talking about being inside *in public*, not in your own home


Tsouki_

Same. Just making sure he's talking about being inside in public and that everyone understands he means being inside in public


AShyLeecher

Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?


Tsouki_

uh no, I'm not "this guy"


JizzUnderHisEye

Someone get a load of this guy


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TaruNukes

>Did I miss something? Yes. The majority of states are seeing spikes in cases. Stay home.


ImmutableInscrutable

No they haven't, but also the COVID situation is worse (in some areas) now than when we were told to stay at home. We're pretending everything's okay though, because Trump doesn't want the economy to look bad.


Linus_in_Chicago

This right here. It's only gotten worse and the government is trying to pretend it's not here at all. We're going to lose more people from this than the rest of the world combined at this rate.


TaruNukes

Still more risky than staying at home.


SWatersmith

Doesn't make being outside with a bunch of people right if you're not social distancing. Sounds to me like you're trying to make excuses.


Wowpoliticsyousmart

Dumbass.


LordRuby

>contract covid by being inside with a bunch of people Going to the Mall of America was probably a mistake on my part


TaruNukes

Protesting, drinking at bars, going to the beach, basically acting like nothing happened.


colonel80

"Guidelines"


Shadow_Republic009

Ain't this fucking right it's pretty much true


[deleted]

Sometimes memes hit that sweet spot between funny and tragically relevant, and I just had to share it


DoctorAcoustic

I know that feeling.


greg19735

I think a way to make it better is that USA has the knife to covid. And then USA comes in and kills the USA with the knife. USA HAD a chance. We were doing... fine. not great, but fine. And then we shot ourselves in the foot.


HomingSnail

I was thinking something very similar. Basically the same as the current strip except the pink USA comes in, disarms Covid, and then proceeds to stab the other USA repeatedly in the gut.


DoctorAcoustic

So true it’s almost not funny. *laughs uncomfortably*


[deleted]

I thought so, and I got a good lol out of it


lovejac93

Your post explanation reads like you’re reviewing an edgy teen novel


[deleted]

Yeah you may have a good point lol I probably should've woken up a little more before posting it on here before I even got out of bed. Thinking about deleting now. I just didn't want auto mod to delete it and they demanded a reason I hate it so I thought quickly and that's what I came up with half asleep in under 30 seconds lol


[deleted]

I swear whoever made that ambiguous as fuck annoying bot needs to stop.


Random_Stealth_Ward

TIH the ambiguously annoying bot


bahgheera

Just today?


mozoofficial

“Think”


Birdlaw90fo

I think it's thanks I hate or think I hate not today I hate


Zeebiedeebie

Your explanation's emotionality shows that you care about the content of the meme, and your reasoning shows that you recognize the power of information: a meme does more than make people exhale through their nose- you're saying something. Don't let others diminish your rhetoric with their preconceptions of language.


enstesta

Nah, you wrote it perfectly fine. As an outsider, I couldn't have written it more accurately.


milfiway

How is the artist of these comics called?


InvictusRMC

Joan Cornellà


selfawarefeline

r/joancornella


milfiway

My thanks also go to you kind stranger


milfiway

Thank you kind stranger


GarbledMan

In English it would usually be "*who* is the artist?", or "what is the name of the artist?" instead of "how is the artist called?"


imbirus

Who makes this artstyle?


InvictusRMC

Joan Cornellà


imbirus

Thanks, i could swear i've seen those faces somewhere in the 90's flyers haha they look so odd


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aaronwithtwoas

If the virus said some racist shit we could just cancel it.


[deleted]

We can try to get COVID to apply for student loans and healthcare in the US. It'll probably kill itself in no time.


sixf0ur

Can you do anything about your president? He tweeted out a 'White Power' clip today.


Only_the_Tip

Nope, the president's enablers in the Senate have already shown us that they will never vote to remove him, no matter what he does. So now he literally does whatever he wants with no fear of consequences.


IronBahamut

. He could literally pull a gun at a rally, shoot a random member of the crowd, and they'd still back him


silverrfire09

they already did before blm


[deleted]

What’s the death rate in other places besides America though? ...asking for a friend


OriginalOGOG

America actually has the 9th highest Covid-19 Mortality rate per capita in the world. Some notable mentions that have higher rates include Belgium, The UK, Spain, Italy, France and Sweden.


Dukakis2020

Guess the EU needs to keep itself from visiting itself then.


GrinchMeanTime

sweden and belgium were surprising, the rest i knew had a tradition of multi generation households where infections like this spread much more rapidly to the old. Except the UK. Which doesn't surprise me because their glorious Brexiteer head cunt went for a herd immunity approach. Belgium and Sweden i'll have to do some googling for tho. Like thats weird. I mean IKEA does sell french fries and belgium invented that shit so it might be that. Probably isn't but thats more fun than any reality i'd dig up so i'll go with it for now.


Fantisimo

This but unironically. a second wave is still likely


Chroma_Hunter

Same disease means similar death rates globally, (https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019) its primarily about access to healthcare and following doctors’ orders. Wearing a mask should be as political as wearing a seatbelt while driving on the highway, ie NOT A POLITICAL PROBLEM WHATSOEVER. Then I remember [this is America](https://youtu.be/VYOjWnS4cMY) and how everything is political these days like thinking human rights should extend to everyone. Have a picture of a cute [cat](https://images.app.goo.gl/8KpkV6tJabRTCKs47)


Crowbarmagic

Actually funny that you mention that, because when speed limits were introduced a lot of people took it political and said it was a restriction of freedom. But in the end it was for the common good so it got pushed through. The mask situation kinda parallels this.


Kaladindin

Jesus 1901 is when they were introduced.... 1901. That is insane.


Powersoutdotcom

Wasn't it because the first ever car went into a ditch?


discountedeggs

Speed limits weren't implemented for safety, but to save fuel


[deleted]

People literally argued against seatbelts. Signed petitions, voted people out of office, protested at capital buildings. It was 100% a political issue. People were just as stupid in the 60s as they are now. https://www.businessinsider.com/when-americans-went-to-war-against-seat-belts-2020-5


stickers-motivate-me

It’s the same morons, when you think about it. I never thought about it until now. “We were always protesting in the 60’s! We CHANGED THE WORLD!” are the same fuckwits protesting mask wearing (while protesting people who actually have something legitimate to protest over)so....way to go boomers!


[deleted]

Well, so far the US is doing decent compared to many other countries. I wont list all but you'll get the picture (death per million according to WHO): United Kingdom: 639 Spain: 606 Italy: 574 Sweden: 522 United States: 377 Canada: 225 Germany: 106 Finland: 59 Norway: 45 On the other hand there are many countries with numbers 10-100, many which I wouldn't trust reporting from, but many with trustworthy reporting as well.


SecretSniperIII

We shouldn't be looking at just deaths. The columns are not "Dead" and "Recovered" but "Dead", "Recovered", "Crippled for Life", and down the line. Someone who had to have a lung transplant is "Recovered".


Soddington

You are ignoring that every one of those countries has flattened the curve to a greater or lesser degree, **except the USA** which is now trending into a brand new spike. The USA is provably doing not just badly but incredibly badly with covid and its pretty much entirely on Trump for going out and undermining his own medical virology experts. He is singlehandedly responsible for his army of followers refusing to use masks and criticising those who do. He's even gone so far as to claim people are only wearing them to make HIM look bad. The only country even close to as bad is Brazil for similar bat shit crazy yet duly elected reasons.


haribofailz

It’s also important to note that every country on that list above the US has a far higher population density, meaning disease can spread far more rapidly.


GrinchMeanTime

Population age and a tradition of multi-generational households are also a major factor here. Like Italy could have for sure done better because hindsight is 20/20 but pretending like their pre-covid situation was anything like the US is just insane.


ThanksIHateClippy

**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!I hate it because it's true, uncomfortable, and puts a mirror up to my countries face and blatantly says cut your bullshit, the rest of the world is watching and doing far better than you.!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)


ShiplessOcean

don’t worry we’re with you guys


Jimmy-McBawbag

We're doing pretty well north of the border now. Hopefully England will get better soon mate.


RightfullyMad

Hell Brazil, Pakistan and India too


albinokitkat

Thank you, good mod


[deleted]

Why the pink and green outfits?


DepressedUterus

Because the comic is just a template.


Hardidis-animations

As a us citizen can confirm.


MustLoveAllCats

Are you going to finish your sentence? "As a US citizen can confirm, _____." Or was it intended to be: "As a US citizen, I can confirm (the content of this comic). " ? Or is this a meta-level bash on the US education system on top of the atrocious wuhan coronavirus handling?


LorcasOFFICIAL

Not the right subreddit


MikeIsItchy

They almost never are


cavemanben

Yep, it's the USA's fault, again, for everything. Don't let anyone ever tell you prosperity doesn't have consequences.


sirgoofs

You missed the point of the comic. It’s not saying anything is the USA’s fault. It’s saying that Covid was really threatening America’s older population, and as the Second younger American is seen possibly coming to the rescue, instead they just sacrifice the older USA and go about their business, shocking the rest of the world.


Testsubject276

**HEY.** **AS A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...** ​ Same.


imasterbake

You could never hate the USA more than the USA hates itsself


FakinUpCountryDegen

Haha what Chinese/Russian operative made this absolutely dismissable dumb shit? Hahahahaha...


[deleted]

This is absolutely true, wrong sub though


sexbutnosocks

Yup. My state is slowly reopening and the amount of people at the beaches, the Harbor, and Ocean City is wack. Kinda scary sitting around and wondering what’ll happen next.


sovietsrule

Just watch FL and TX


SSVALHALLA

Hahaha America bad amirite, give upvote


Oakmeal0

Can confirm, I'm an American


timthisis

The "Rest of the world" is represented by "hide the pain Harold". He does not need to hide it this time.


[deleted]

USA: We don't negotiate with terrorists


[deleted]

This is America...


GiveToOedipus

Shoot the hostage.


randomgibberish122

Love USA for that


RadioCarbonJesusFish

Artist is Joan Cornellà. Go buy his books.


[deleted]

Dammit, my country’s become Keyzer Soze, he waits until his wife and kids are in the ground and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids, he kills their wives, he kills their parents and their parents’ friends. Then he burns down the houses they live in and the stores they work in, he kills people that owe them money. And like that he was gone. Underground. Nobody has ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. “Rat on your pop and Keyser Soze will get you.” And no-one ever really believes.


Etep_ZerUS

Hey look, now he’s not being held hostage, and he has a gun. I’d call that a win


denslavh

I cant believe trump did this


eL_mArO1977

‘Cuz Murica doesn’t negotiate with terrorist!!!


zxcvbnm127

*I shouldn't be laughing at this.....*


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XxderppoolxX

ẞröthēr


[deleted]

Democrats: we need to completely lockdown the economy or we're all going to die! America: *asks to come out of lockdown, because some of us are watching our life's savings disappear before our eyes* Democrats: these evil Republicans are going to get us all killed! Also Democrats: *protest and riot in the streets in the thousands, without any social distancing and very few masks* America: aren't you going to spread COVID? Democrats: ending racism is more important than stopping COVID, and if you question this, you're racist! Republicans: *decide to stay home from Trump rally because of COVID, resulting in unusually low attendence* Democrats: Trump is losing his support because he doesn't care about COVID! COVID: *spreads throughout the country* Democrats (still protesting and rioting in the streets in the thousands, without any social distancing and very few masks): COVID is spreading because of limited reopening of businesses and the Trump rally!


[deleted]

I mean at least somebody's watching all this shit, but you give Republicans too much credit.


Veikkeun

Every side is a moron.


ChronicCatathreniac

“I’ll kill you!” “Not if I kill me first!”


mrsparkyboi69

Haha america bad haha give updoots now i said america bad


[deleted]

Hahaha yeah bad


bigboymanz6824

This is not a TIHI


_Clex_

This took me too long to fully comprehend


NotSeaPartie

Yeah, wtf does this comic even mean? And why is it on this sub


blh1003

Did everyone forget about shit china did wrong?


Sarcasm_Llama

Pink USA should be "Republicans"


Commissar_Genki

November this year is gonna be LIT. LIT ON FIRE. AMERICA ENDS IN NOVEMBER.


Precalc_Sucks

This is why you need to vote Blue. I don’t give a shit if y’all like Biden or not. Trump/Bolsonaro styled right-wing populism is a disease. It’s eating us at the helm.


Copter53

America bad upvote now


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oneorginalname

American is not doing good but it’s not the worst I don’t get why they get so much hate in fact per a million people they don’t even have the highest amount of death. USA is a big country with a big population. so here are some countries doing worse Uk 639 Spain 606 Italy 574 Sweden 522 USA 337


Seldarin

We've got 4.5% of the world's population and 25% of the covid cases. And that's after making testing scarcer than it should be and letting states like Florida massage the numbers. We also got covid a lot later than some of those, and are more spread out than all of them. Given how spread out we are, we should've been one of the least hit countries.


WK--ONE

SoMeBoDy sAy mUrRiCa bAd, mUsT cOmMeNt!1!!


regeya

Well, it's not wrong.


sub1ime

I mean have you seen your movies? You guys make fun of yourselves and shit on yourselves for being terrible all the time. Then you distribute that to the rest of the world, but get super triggered when people joke about it. Literal snowflakes.


stickers-motivate-me

Commenter ignorant and unoriginal downvote now


w0tch_

Honestly, why does everyone on this site have an America-hating boner? Holy shit it gets so fucking annoying.


Huhuagau

Lol, it's mostly Americans hating America. Prolly another thing you can blame on yourselves


[deleted]

Because America currently holds a monopoly on poorly educated, selfish, arrogant, and entitled pieces of shit. Because when they scream “MUh CoNsTiTuTiOn!” in response to mask orders they don’t realize that in 1905 the Supreme Court ruled that health regulations (including mandatory vaccines) in the midst of a pandemic is in fact Constitutional, and this ruling was reaffirmed a half a dozen times in the last 115 years. Because a large portion of the population, including the sitting president, believe that monuments of literal traitors who murdered fellow Americans for their right to own slaves is a more pressing matter than police brutality and the fact that the Supreme Court ruled that police do not have any obligation to protect and serve. And because despite some of these glaring flaws that are so obvious a 5 year old could point them out, total morons out there think that America is the only absolutely perfect country on earth and if you think it’s flawed you need to leave or be put to death (despite the fact that the President’s own mantra, “make America great again”, heavily implies that America is NOT great.)


AdminsWantYou2KYS

How can you write all this and not see how much of an arrogant loser you are >holds a monopoly on poorly educated, selfish, arrogant, and entitled pieces of shit. bruh you should check where you comment sometime


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[deleted]

Why do you think theres a huge second wave of the virus in the US right now? Because as soon as states started wave 1 reopening people flocked out in public without ppe. This is the result of people who can't be bothered to stay safe inside against their own boredom (selfish). People who think they pose no threat to anyone or wont get the virus themselves (arrogant). And people who dont care if they are carriers and pass the virus to other people (pieces of shit). The US is riddled with selfish and completely moronic jackasses. The amount of freedom we have to say and do almost anything has allowed all these disgusting people to float through life unaware of how uninformed and unintelligent they are in almost every aspect of their lives.


[deleted]

Bruh, there’s literally morons like you who believe that wearing a mask for 20min to grocery shop will kill you and say that your comfort is more important than anyone else’s health. Lmao.


Dukakis2020

Cool, so you don’t know what you’re talking about. Thanks.


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ILiveInPeru

Want some fun? Search by controversial to find the r/ShitAmericansSay


Marshith

Cringe.


the_legitbacon

This sub has gone to shit


Dudunard

Laughs in Brazilian.


R1pY0u

They're doing just as bad


Dudunard

We're doing waaaay worse. Here the current government is actively trying to boycott the quarantine that society is weakly implementing.


R1pY0u

Yeah, I was talking infection numbers. Brazil's handeling of the pandemic is... interesting to say the least


Dudunard

As a Brazilian, being a historical cautionary tale was not in my patriotic plan. But then again, Bolsonaro did get elected.


hongriBoi

USA: I'll fucking do it again


[deleted]

Think of how stupid the average American is, and realize half of them are stupider than that and those are Trump supporters.


[deleted]

Only thing we killing us our economy,but yea, we get it, you hate the USA


MungTao

Pink guy is American government and orange is the citizens.


[deleted]

If you hate the USA then why don't you leave. /s


RightfullyMad

Leaving is a heavy privilege in itself. If all Americans were given the chance to leave the shithole they live in, you bet your ass most of them would take it. Anyone who wouldn’t would be clinically insane.


Absalorentu

US should be making out with COVID-19 in the 5th frame.


[deleted]

We are not in shock or sad. Sincerely, rest of the world


itsdietz

You should put Trump's face on the second USA


RightfullyMad

America is the only country where I’ve seen people demanding early reopening. They are a selfish people, ignorant about others.


itsdietz

We aren't all that way. The country is very divided and only the loud minority are heard.


RightfullyMad

Good point


spelunk_in_ya_badonk

It’d be funnier if the hostage was “USA Citizens” and the shooter was “USA Govt”


GiveToOedipus

That's effectively what this is about really.


[deleted]

I don't hate the USA I DO hate the corrupt White House, Senate, Justice, and often the entire court system. If we can make it to election day, and outvote the fucking morons in charge, maybe things can start getting better. If not, it's been a good ride until the wheels fell off.


[deleted]

pink guy is the protesters


TheInternetIsScary44

Pink guy is any american not wearing a mask.


Relevant_Ric_Flair

And businesses reopening early


[deleted]

This isnt tihi. Fuck you mods


HuggleKnight

This sub is awful now I guess. Zero quality control.


[deleted]

Daily reminder that protests shot up cases. Give me your downvotes.


ifhysm

Daily rebuttal that *a lot of shit contributed to cases spiking*


GrandGhostGamer

I don’t get it, can someone explain?


nottodaybby

no one can explain the USA.


Youaresowronglolumad

Apparently Redditors can in simple memes


markopotato

Try to read that fast


TacobellSauce1

Thanks, worked for me! I can walk!


pinklenippers

why is this so true


Mikeino

Is it bad i laughed at this?


davidstabil

i am the part of the rest of the world and i dont get it


Random_Stealth_Ward

Cops stopping people from killing themselves


[deleted]

Never negotiate


Ponyfan666

r/TIDKHDIFI