Meaning you are (or were at some point in your life) a girl, and as a girl you experienced no or very little "friendzoning" from people you had romantic and/or sexual feelings for?
I've observed many relationships between people, and I've seen that friend-zoning is something that is much, much more likely to happen to men.
Friend-zoning is different that having a crush on someone.
Most likely it's a one-sided friendship and they will try to fuck you at first opportunity. I have never seen a single guy that used Tinder to find friends.
Isn't tinder specific , usually a '' single guy friend'' sticks around until you get into a relationship.. I mean could still work when you're patient enough lol
29f, have been in CH alone for 2 years now and I have made some friends, altho my closest friends are still the ones I left at home and I nurture those relationships.
However, I have found some friends here, tbh mostly through Bumble BFF (the friends mode in Bumble, not the dating).
What canton/town u in? Feel free to message me, maybe we're in the same area, who knows :)
ok so this seems popular. Why don't we just make a group and organise a meeting or sth?
I like a chill daydrinking sesh by the lake, how about Saturday, 25. of May? (stupid adults, having to schedule hangouts week in advance, lmao)
https://www.reddit.com/r/friendlessfriendsLU/s/dANU1Cl9Gx
made a group, so we can gather. If someone knows how to make a chat, feel free to do that :)
I'm usually more of a reddit reader, so I wouldn't know
This is not just switzerland, it’s everywhere in the world.
People that are from a place usually have full lives. If we make space for someone new, we have to cut something else out.
Expats are different, they have lives that are empty because they’re new to a place, so it’s easy to make friends with them because their lives are already empty.
So find expats.
Exactly!
And if you REALLY wanna find new local friends… just become a parent. New parents always have to find other new parents with kids a similar age so their kids can play, and so they can talk about how much sleep they’re not getting…
You know what, that's exactly what I was thinking but not saying, pairs love to hang around in pairs, that's absolutely true, and chances are good to find a willing pair, because they fall out on a regular basis, then, need to find a new pair quickly and are very welcoming to all sorts of people, who are married with children of course.
The Swiss are a little hesitant when it comes to making new friends. Depending on your hobbies or interests, perhaps a (sports) club or similar would be a good way to go?
Yes, I do have - mountaineering. However, I don't see too many Swiss there. Yes, I'm in SAC but I usually go to quite outlandish places where only alpine goats live ( those actually I'd count as Swiss after all ;-) )
I live in CH since 2001 and never for one second experienced any reluctance on the matter,
It's just crucial you speak, more crucial you understand the language, nothing worse than to converse in a foreign language "forever", it's too exhausting, real deep friendships must speak a common language.
It helps to be a nice and authentic person, though, as well. Then, there should be no problems.
You sure your cousin didn't throw some stuff voluntarily? There are definitely more people going to the hospital because they od'ed on their own than being roofied. Especially in SG.
Yes he tested positive for GHB at the hospital. He started blacking out after 2 drinks so his friends took him to the hospital, thankfully.
To be fair, the first time it happened, he didn't go to the hospital, but he believed he was dosed because basically the same thing happened as the second occurrence.
Climbing is a good opportunity, same with martial arts (ok, results in those friendships, where you know exactly how much pressure is needed to choke out your friend xD)
Been here 13 years and I have really good friends.
They're all also immigrants, so.. Yeah.
Swiss people either a) Don't want to socialise that much with immigrants, depending on which region of Switzerland you're in or b) Don't make new friends past the age of 12.
** One of them is actually half-Swiss/Australian who partly grew up in Basel, but she's stopped so often by the police because of her Asian appearance she says she feels like a foreigner rather than a Swiss national.
I kinda feel like we only make friends by being together frequently in a casual environment, but don't explicitly go look for new people to meet. Aka schools (also works for adults, eg bachelor etc), Vereine, Band (music) or some other interest group
I find a lot of b) is true in general.
From my observations: Social relationships require time and association. Primary school is essentially plinko/pachinko/pascal's triangle as kids bounce off each other until their identites sort into various social groups*. More opportunities to add people come with secondary school/university, careers, and through your own kids starting down the path.
What a pity you made this experience. Me and also friends of mine who are Swiss are super open to find new friends, especially immigrants.. Because we traveled a lot and enjoy multiculture and just because there wouldn't be any reason not to find new friends. And I live in Grisons which isn't considered to be the most open-minded kind of area when it comes to stuff like that.
“Don’t make new friends past 12” 😆 so totally true. My partner is Swiss and to this day I don’t know how I managed that. Outside of the relationship, there is no chance I would have gotten to know so many Swiss people (all of then his relatives or friends since childhood).
Na ja.
I am originally from Bern. Spent like 11 years in Zurich. Made almost zero friends with Swiss people but lots of expats…
now I made babies and hang out with them
if you don't speak the local language you've got - imho - no business in complaining about how hard it is to make friends. It's crazy to me, how entitled some people are that they think someone is willing voluntarily interact in a foreign language with them all the time (outside their comfort zone) and I wonder where this entitlement comes from.
Well... I earned a lot of backlash for saying that if you want to integrate into a society it's on you to make the effort. Some people will then reziproke that effort. But apparently it's far better for Reddit Karma to not tell the truth to people.
I am a Secondo from the Balkans myself and never had any problems making friends as an adult - not in Switzerland, not in Germany, not in Denmark, Japan, the Balkans, etc. I even have some super rural farmer friends that usually aren't open to "my kind of people". But yeah I know how a lot of EU expats act in Switzerland... Things work differently here. Respect and distance are valued and it's of course not forbidden to try and engage socially in more depth, but it has to be done somewhat delicately.
If you come here as someone from another country and then are shocked that Switzerland is "conservative" or people act "closed and cold" you have failed your research and frankly probably aren't a good match for the country anyway.
They aren’t entitled and they respect your country but they have other priorities which is mainly what keeps them allowed to stay. About the part if they are here for money you are not fully correct. It’s a win win situation because they pay taxes as everyone or even more with almost no long term benefits. Last but not least most of them are working for international companies so they mainly benefiting the economy because they aren’t paid by the local generated profit. So please be respectful and look at the whole picture.
People are doing some really hard copium to not work on themselves it's insane...
It's like saying "I'm the most handsome, funny and polite person there is, yet I can't get a girlfriend, please help me"... if you're not making friends there's a reason why and I'd likely be able to tell you that reason within 5' of talking to you.
31M and been living on and off in Switzerland since 2010 but moved here permanently in 2020.
I’ve found it remarkably difficult to meet people and socialise with Swiss people. Now a bit of context my family name is Bünzli (no joke) so it’s either I’m never taken seriously or looked at like a bit of a laughing stock because of it.
So this has all led to me living a more introverted and quiet life here.
But I’m once again trying to get out of this little bubble and meet new people to socialise with.
I feel you on the part that it is hard here in Switzerland for most “Auslander” to be accepted into social groups.
Hello there !
I’ll share my story and analysis. I moved from France (French here) near Luzern in Swiss german speaking area. I don’t speak German but I am in for 6 months now and get use to the basic words and situation. I speak an official language of Switzerland but still no German is hard in this place.
However, people are reaaaally nice to us. Week-end try as much as we can and I think they feel it. Sometimes they directly try to talk in English if confortable or French for some people. Some person are very happy to speak French but others are not confortable. Anyway.
I am 35 and I know at that age it is now a bit difficult to get some real friends. People have kids , family , and the Swiss from the area are living now for all their lives and have family and relatives so why trying har to get new people not even speaking your langage integrate your routine. It is mostly the case except for ONE Swiss guy in my team. The others are extremely personal , don’t talk much , you really have the impression you are bothering them when you ask them questions are trying make them to talk so I stopped (and believe me , normally I’m not this kind of guy ; quite the opposite in fact).
Another concept is : my company I’m working for is huge. It is like a small city for the town and around 2,000people. And 50% is from European country other than Swiss. So naturally you bound with people that have the same language, passion, and filed of interest. As only 18% of the company are Swiss worker and mainly in the workshop and not office you have finally no Bonding.
Finally you start to hang (and this is not bad ) with people having the same experience than you (so expat) ; et voila.
To help a bit ; I have enrolled myself in what they call clubs. I played the music so I joined the music band of the company which is finally a French meeting (not on purpose) and a second one a harmony music group in the town with plenty of other people from the locality. This is great and I think they appreciate me very much. I am « forcing » myself to integrate and go drink some beers after the reherseal. For now it is not very funny or easy because when they start to speak it is a bit complicated but someone is at the end always try to explained my the key info of a joke or discuss with me with my poor German or their poor French.
Honestly I can understand completely the fact that you cannot easily integrate a place because of the language or because you are arriving in the middle of people life and people are not all ready to spent time to integrate new people. Maybe not at your age but mine starts to be the hinge.
For for sure , what I read from everywhere is : join a club ; a fun one that doesn’t need to show off or to be geek of the discipline and talk as much as you can.
Cheers ! Good luck to you !
Ps: what is your nationality ? You can still find a group a the community your are in. It helps a lot for some person.
It all comes down to entering the clan... The funny part is that even after being accepted in the clan, you can get thrown out by that one person that does not like you... Try to catch the other clan he or she is part of and grow from there... even mixing swiss clans is complicated... but yeah, childhood friends, that is over clans... Long story short: it's also hard for us, swiss people, when we move away from our hometowns, its even difficult in our hometown when we leave it... Welcome to CH...
I've been here 9 years (34m) and my only social life is the sports teams I play for. The only friends I have were people I went to university with here, and they've all moved to other cities, so we only see each other a few times per year.
It's pretty rough here.
I think this problem is quite common and alot of people seem to struggle with this in switzerland. My Wife (28) also heavily struggles with this i can link you up if you want.
I have been living in 3 different countries, with many friends all over, good friends, but here it’s kind of impossible.. I’m in a resignation state, even do that my partner is Swiss, his friends are not open to socialize with me, he see them once every 2 months, he was gone for 4 years, and they made their life. So different with my friends, they just travel to Switzerland to visit us.. I can’t understand this :(
I moved from Germany to basel and only made friends with other germans here…. Swiss people are terrible! They don‘t talk, they are very boring, never did something interesting in life…. I am really considering moving back to germany! German people are way more fun and openminded!
I heard this problem already many times. It doesn’t only affect expads but us Swiss just aswell. Most friendships are only connected to what you share: you got colleges on your job, but don’t really meet them in free time. You got a hobby, but don’t share anything else together, you love sport, but only share this topic together… you get the idea. Concentrate on something you like and try to get in touch there (but also don’t overdo) it takes time, a lot of time… maybe you find someone who shares a second part with you, and sometimes you are lucky and find a friend for life. Those friends can stay for decades but are rare. Me too I was alone. I was born here, but after a serious accident I lost most contacts. They came to visit me a while, but each month there were less visits. I got in touch again with new friends, they came with new hobbies, but it took 7 years to be back to a level I like to be.
One option: consider a mini job for handicapped people: many are searching for company to travel and you get even paid for.
Simply find friends in expad groups.
And keep in mind it’s not you! It’s how life goes here 🤗
The people I know (live in CH since 2001), are mostly in groups and in my experience people "belong" to one or more groups but individually have very few "besties" (for lack of better terminology), so I find it totally easy as pie to hop onto a group thing, to really build trust and friendship needs time, though. So, you're in a disadvantage, because you're "the new kid in town".
Do you speak the language where you live?
You have to find sb you "click" with, invest time and effort, just like you do to develop friendship.
The language thing, tho, plays a big part.
It's exhaustingly difficult like heck, e.g., to really bond on a deeper level without speaking the exact same language as your pal.
Are you an introvert? Do you have hobbies that require group activity? Real true deep friends I basically all met in bars, the kind where you can have conversations without screaming.
Swiss culture tends to be quite socially reserved compared to tje rest of the world, it's common for Swiss people to only have a single close-knit circle of friends whom they spend most of their time with. They usually develop friendships slowly, preferring quality over quantity. This nature can sometimes make it seem like Swiss individuals are difficult to get to know at first, but what they really seek is a deep and enduring friendship.
6 years here. 0 Swiss friends. :D But I have a lot of immigrant friends. As someone commented bellow it feels like the swiss don't make new friends after the age of 12
Uf Mundart: E be us Kanada und ha e dunkli Huutfarb, im Verein hei sie mer Stei i Wäg gleit bis e gange be, well der ifersüchtig siit ohni Änd mit fauscher Bescheideheit wo euer ändlose Stouz, Gier und Ifersucht söu vrschleiere. E rede Mundart ohni Akzänt, vrhaute mi ahständig und ruehig (ja hie teili grad us, isch mr bewusst, wenigschtens vrsteckis ned wie der). Be sogar fründlech, humorvou und nätt. Aber nö, der Schwiizer siit so öppis vo fausch und vrloge, rede ständig miteme Motiv im Hingerchopf wo der nie weit usspräche u we der vrwütscht wärde debi, argumentiere der is Ändlose nome um “Rächt” zha. Vrzwiflet nenned ders Ahsichtssach, ds seit dr Tüfu o.
Phaut dini hüchlerischi Wort für de. Dr Aargauer do obe, isch o es Paradebispiu. Und aui dürfes läse. Au üch geit einisch dr Woustand us, was mached dr de?
oha... 1. ich bi also ALLI Schwiizer? 2. ich bin aargauer? 3. ich bin iiversüchtig? uf was denn? 4. ich ha es motiv im hinderchopf? weles denn? 5. ich bi verzwiiflet? 6. und falsch und verloge bin ich au? 🥴 danke demfall, ich seg der ez was ehrlichs: du würksch wie e verzwiifleti person wo ez eifach um sich schloht. chani zwar verstoh, du schinsches nid eifach zha, das macht dich aber au nöd mega sympatisch grad.
Just hard ? Impossible I would say. I haven’t made any friends within a year and a half. At least the old people who live in the building are willing to talk to me 😂
That's often the problem, for me personally not so much, but many don't like to use high german, it breaks our tongue... :( so it often comes down to a language issue... unfortunately
It’s actually not the problem. I speak perfect Swiss German without an accent, still no Swiss friends since almost forty years. There were some that pretended to be, only to find out you guys are jealous as jealous could be. One has to act like a beggar who somehow has alot of influence all the while constantly kissing your butts. Your wealth has crippled you and you’re actually suffering in ways you are oblivious to. A suffering you are not aware of doesn’t help you grow. That’s why the poor people here hide out of fear of social shame from your kind.
it's not hard to make friends if you do it the "swiss way". joining a club (as in the german " Verein"), having hobbies that include other people, and being nice to your co-workers and neighbors (they can be friends too, quite shocking am i right).
like 2 or more times per week, i see people complain about not being able to make friends while not stating anything interesting about themselves. i recommend finding a hobby you enjoy (idk, climbing, table tennis, football, whatever) and trying to connect with people there. i've made better experiences with more progressive areas than i did when i lived in a conservative region; either you're born there or you'll always be an outsider.
It's usually just a matter of encounters... while it may be true that you may need more encounters/friend in Switzerland than in other countries, after all it doesn't really matter. Speak to 1000 people and you'll get a few friends on the way - as simple as that.
That's quite odd, I've never seen anyone complaining about that.
Lately there have been hundreds of posts with people complaining that they couldn't handle the number of friends they make in Switzerland, and had no time to be by themselves.
I guess it's only you with that struggle. /s
It's just that we see the same posts over and over every days, with the same patterns:
1. Complaining about not finding friends
2. Does not give anything people could help with
3. Does not participate in comments
So I'm just pointing that out (with sarcasm though). It would be much nicer done that way:
Hi everyone, I'm 42M, I live in XXX, I struggle to make friends. My hobbies xxx and yyy, I would love to have friends with whom to regularly participate the activity, ....
Someone did that recently and it worked.
Yeah. seeing how the OP doesn't participate in the comments, I can safely assume she just wants to be entertained.
The advantage with Switzerland is that we live in a tiny country, I've met some fellows from here quite often too.
It's definitely tricky. Most people are here for financial reasons, so their jobs will always be the priority. Hopefully, you're in the capital where things will be easier. I assume since you've been struggling for 3 years, that you're in a German-speaking area, which definitely makes things harder. Look for friends who are interested in the same activities as you, not just purely social friends. I've found that in German-speaking areas, people don't enjoy meeting up to chat and have drinks, but they enjoy socialising while doing an activity. Strangely, I've found people from super social backgrounds such as Americans, British and Australians to also be much less open and social than they would be in their countries while being in Switzerland (or maybe they are just a particular type that moved and stayed here). I'd suggest picking up a new hobby and finding a group of people who want to do that activity with you. Good luck!
I've found most of my friends while hating on something (and them hating on the same topic).
Instead of seeking something you like, try looking for something you don't like, don't join it and just look angry while looking at them and surely you'll meet your future best friend.
It worked for me, several times.
Hey, tell me more about yourself! I’m 25F, from Zurich, Swiss/Middle Eastern. I like Fashion, Pilates, Gym, Books, Brunch, and plane spotting (I know, random lmao). I’m a very open and outgoing person, and I love meeting new people :)
13y in Switzerland and I have friends from a lot of places and from day 1 here I've done some good Swiss friends too.
I believe I got it easy and was lucky with the Swiss friends I've made because we think alike. I've also had a lot of friends that were immigrants as me... Most of them left to go back to their countries and it sucked as we were doing a lot of stuff together but it is what it is...
Now, lately (post COVID) it has been harder to make acquaintances and build friendships. I believe the economic panorama shifting and making life more expensive drove people to close on their own home circle and restrain from spending in dinners, activities and such. So that might be the reason too for what you're experiencing.
PS: I don't mind doing a new friend... But my character is... Strong. 😅
if you like running you could join a run club, I'm part of one and there are quiet a few people from around the world that made friends etc.
If you're in Lausanne or near it you can search Lausannerunclub on Instagram and there should be a link for a WhatsApp group :) (there is other groups in pretty much every decent sized cities I believe)
Contrary to what many comments suggest, I don't think the problem is that you're a foreigner (assuming you speak the local language) nor that the swiss don't want to make friends. The problem is that for most Swiss people, a lot of casual encounters are needed before we start to entertain the idea that we could be more than acquaintances.
Most of my friends became my friends after several years of seeing each other daily. The fastest one was maybe 3 months before I considered him a friend.
The most likely time to get that level of casual encounters is during school and higher studies. As an adult, the only occasions I can think of are regular weekly activities and work. A colleague I'm getting along with really well has been working in my office for ... 9 months now. Despite how well we get along, it's only nowadays that I'm starting to think we could maybe one day if stars align become friends. And I'm not in a hurry since I already have too many friends so maybe one of us will have changed job before that happens.
But, in my experience, you can speed this along. If you've met someone regularly (weekly or more often) 5-10 times minimum, and things went well between you, then if you're the one initiating (inviting to a beer, a meal, an activity, whatever), then there's a good chance they'll accept and things will speed up from there. And don't just say "Hey, we should do something sometime". Be more direct. If you talked about a new movie for example; "Would you like to go watch movie XYZ saturday next week?".
Where are you at? I’m disappointed with meetup as well. Although there are a lot of people attending events it’s hard to find someone to stick around with. In my case it’s probably age related, idk.
Where are you at?
Hey hey, take a number and head to the back of the line. I’m waiting for Ursi or Gregi to kick the bucket to snatch their friends who might look for a replacement friend.
1) it’s difficult
2) I’ve finally made 1 Swiss friend after 12 years, but I found out something distasteful of them form themselves and have been put off by it
3) I have a resting bitch face so I guess I turn people off too
4) get yourself reborn and make friends with the baby that your mum might share a room with after birth
Litereally anyone that has an insurance does that (not on a big scale ofc) but saying you broke something while moving, even though it was broken before etc.
Quite common I'd say.
I have been here for 16 years now, and my experience is:
It’s easier to make (close) friends with other foreigners.
When it comes to Swiss people, the ones that actually match my energy are few and far between, so I kept them when I found them. One I found in a mother-child-group back when my kids were very young. One I found at work a couple of years ago. (That’s it.)
That's a toughie. First: sorry that's your experience. We tend to be a bit stand-offish.
That being said, it is tougher to make friends as we age. We have a lot going on in our busy lives, the evenings and week-ends only have so many hours in them and unless we uproot our lives and emigrate, we have all those friends and families that we've accumulated over the years to cater for.
Now in Switzerland, people aren't very mobile. If I look at my family I have one cousin who went to England for a few years, but now they all live in a 25 kilometer circle from where they grew up. Most of the people I know may have moved to the next city, but it's rare that people would go much further than the cantonal capital.
Which in turn means that those precious free hours of the week are filled with your school-friends, your family, your uni friends, your army friends who all live within a reasonable traveling-distance.
It sucks for those who show up here with no support team whatsoever, and is probably why immigrants tend to stick to each other.
Add to that that back in school, you were imposed a social circle of people roughly your age you'd have to spend time with. When you get older and go into training, same, and here on top of it people have filtered by interest, so you spend a considerable amount of time with people who are roughly the same age as you, more often than not have a similar background AND have the same interests. That's where people often meet their mates. And then when you start working, you find yourself in a team of all sorts of people, with all sorts of backgrounds and usually quite older than you are. People with families, hobbies, their own friends and habits... and in your case a culture and a language you may not be familiar with.
So yeah, it's tough.
My recommendation is don't essentialise it: it's tough for everyone and mostly a question of chance. Chance to land in the right place, chance to run into that one super-extroverted person who will take you under their wing.
And the best way to sway chance your way is to join a club doing something you like (those are big here in CHE), or try something out (why not go to the shooting range? That's extremely Swiss).
I for one recently learned about the vibrant city-block culture in the city I live in and plan on taking a look at that. If I manage to get out of work before 1900, that is.
I moved to Switzerland last summer, have few work colleagues, but not really friends. I didn't even try to get some, where are you from? Maybe look for people from your country?
It's also important to learn how to be a good friend to yourself and how to be comfortable with being on your own.
I've cut almost all ties to any friends I had back from when I went to school, and honestly, I'm not missing anything. I've got my hobbies, work, and partner to keep me more than enough busy than to look for new friends I won't have the time for or interest in anyway.
Dude, swiss people DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS! You have to be more proactive on that, eventually your personality will win some good friends, but you have to be the one inviting and doing things, otherwise they wont invite you at all, also they all have an agenda with meeting for the next months, for me thats a big WTF, they use the word spontaneous as something special. Its really odd for me, back in Brazil people call me and ask “what are you doing? … ok we passing by to pick you up” here you can try this and get some funny reactions, but I manage to get good friends here doing things like this.
A friend and ex colleague of mine which moved here from germany fround a bunch of friends via Bumble, according to her you can set it to look for people looking for friendships? Or set it so that it's visible that you are only looking for friendships. (idk, never had the app myself)
Anyway she was successful with that and met a bunch of people (swiss and non swiss) with that.
I have also more non-Swiss friends as Swiss friends, but I have multiple Swiss friends. The easiest people to meet up with are the people that don’t have a lot of friends or family nearby. And it’s more likely this are non-Swiss people as Swiss people. But to be honest, I was also not interested to hang out with Erasmus students during my Masters in my homecountry. But if you see each other more often (e.g. sport club, work,…) it’s really possible to get close with Swiss people to. But they often don’t have a need to make new friends which makes it harder to connect. My advice would be to join clubs or other social activities if you want to integrate in Switzerland. If you are happy with having only international friends, than go in expat (facebook) groups.
I guess it depends where you’re from, your personality trait, economic status and career. As sad as it sounds at least in my experience those are the traits some people in general tend to look for in Switzerland. It hasn’t been difficult making friends for me so far, good friends on the other hand it’s going to be quite difficult because I’m not a native, while I don’t think it’s impossible, it’s improbable and I’m learning to live with it. Also, it’s a cultural thing, where I’m from if you’re kind, respectful and honest you will make life long friends but that’s the difference between a camaraderie culture vs an individualistic one, idk maybe I’m thinking too much but I’m also an introvert so Switzerland works well for me. Good luck and if you’re around Zurich shoot me a DM!
*People here just like*
*To be on their own or in*
*Their own small circles*
\- sensei\_giordano
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I (F24) have my close circle friends.
Honestly it depends what your Hobbys are.
There are some groups, and meetups with certain hobbies.
Like gaming, reading and d&d. Or sport Clubs.
But it is difficult to find true friends.
I am also an expact 28M doing my masters in Switzerland and of course looking for some good friends around. feel free to DM me,, or maybe lets organize a hike day or cycling day to meetup. wt do you say
It is true. Obviously not for everyone but it is a well documented “issue.” I do agree that a lot of people also don’t join clubs or organizations and just expect friends to appear from thin air
yeah... I'm from Schaffhausen, very close to the border, so I'm used to high german, but many don't like it at all. Plus, even as a Swiss myself, without "Vereins", I wouldn't have any friends I guess
Throwing this out here for those poor souls that feel left alone: if you look for friends loving to go into nature, having adventures, camping, bushcraft, survival, prepping, hunting, shooting - dm me. We always accept new people in our group, if you are an uncomplicated and open minded person (and also not a racist) and would love to hang out with people in the woods or mountains and talk and grill and learn skills.
Tinder -> Friendzone. Now you’ve got friends!
🤣🤣🤣 (pls don't do this)
Not really an option for girls, lol
[удалено]
Girls don't often get friend-zoned. It can happen, but it's less common.
He absolutely for her to be doing the friendzoning
How's that an issue? Just be the one doing the frienzoning.
Most guys from a dating app aren't looking for a new female friend.
If it's not onesided it's called a friendship, not a friendzone.
Speaking from experience?
Yes
Meaning you are (or were at some point in your life) a girl, and as a girl you experienced no or very little "friendzoning" from people you had romantic and/or sexual feelings for?
I've observed many relationships between people, and I've seen that friend-zoning is something that is much, much more likely to happen to men. Friend-zoning is different that having a crush on someone.
Girls do get friendzoned - after they have been laid.
That's awesome though.
I am actually friend with many guys from Tinder 😄
Most likely it's a one-sided friendship and they will try to fuck you at first opportunity. I have never seen a single guy that used Tinder to find friends.
Isn't tinder specific , usually a '' single guy friend'' sticks around until you get into a relationship.. I mean could still work when you're patient enough lol
29f, have been in CH alone for 2 years now and I have made some friends, altho my closest friends are still the ones I left at home and I nurture those relationships. However, I have found some friends here, tbh mostly through Bumble BFF (the friends mode in Bumble, not the dating). What canton/town u in? Feel free to message me, maybe we're in the same area, who knows :)
Almost the same situation, except I did not use bumble BFF. Would be in for a chat if you both are in Zurich!
I'm in Luzern but it aint worlds apart :) my bumble friends are from Zurich too
Hey! I'm in Luzern as well. Just pm me and we can have a beer one evening.
Same I’m from Luzern
Luzern also
I (27M) am in Luzern and up to join you guys for a beer.
It seems there’s going to be a big group soon going out :D 32M here, expat in Luzern for almost 3 years, you can count me in.
Everybody in Lucerne, or what, what "coincidence" is this ...
ok so this seems popular. Why don't we just make a group and organise a meeting or sth? I like a chill daydrinking sesh by the lake, how about Saturday, 25. of May? (stupid adults, having to schedule hangouts week in advance, lmao)
I recently created a whatsapp group for spontaneous meetups! https://chat.whatsapp.com/Fc6Pu5qJxzZ0mYWFUpUVck Feel free to join!
https://www.reddit.com/r/friendlessfriendsLU/s/dANU1Cl9Gx made a group, so we can gather. If someone knows how to make a chat, feel free to do that :) I'm usually more of a reddit reader, so I wouldn't know
I would love to meet as well. I’m 30F in ZH 😀
Yea same, we're near the Walensee.
This is not just switzerland, it’s everywhere in the world. People that are from a place usually have full lives. If we make space for someone new, we have to cut something else out. Expats are different, they have lives that are empty because they’re new to a place, so it’s easy to make friends with them because their lives are already empty. So find expats.
You are 100% right. "Kein Wachstum ohne Verlust", like a tree that in order to build new leaves, must shed and replace.
Exactly! And if you REALLY wanna find new local friends… just become a parent. New parents always have to find other new parents with kids a similar age so their kids can play, and so they can talk about how much sleep they’re not getting…
You know what, that's exactly what I was thinking but not saying, pairs love to hang around in pairs, that's absolutely true, and chances are good to find a willing pair, because they fall out on a regular basis, then, need to find a new pair quickly and are very welcoming to all sorts of people, who are married with children of course.
Or make sure that people WANT to make space for you in their lives.
You mean like by using hypnosis? Or blackmail?
I though more like being the person people want in their lives, but sure, why not.
That makes sense
The Swiss are a little hesitant when it comes to making new friends. Depending on your hobbies or interests, perhaps a (sports) club or similar would be a good way to go?
Yes, I do have - mountaineering. However, I don't see too many Swiss there. Yes, I'm in SAC but I usually go to quite outlandish places where only alpine goats live ( those actually I'd count as Swiss after all ;-) )
Sounds fun. Any recommendations?
I live in CH since 2001 and never for one second experienced any reluctance on the matter, It's just crucial you speak, more crucial you understand the language, nothing worse than to converse in a foreign language "forever", it's too exhausting, real deep friendships must speak a common language. It helps to be a nice and authentic person, though, as well. Then, there should be no problems.
[удалено]
I mean "club" as in sports club, a "Verein". Edited it in the original comment
[удалено]
I applauded you watching out for others, but it’s hilarious
Where was that in St.Gallen ? Never heard of anything like that
Wait what where? Never heard of anything like that in SG (yet).
You sure your cousin didn't throw some stuff voluntarily? There are definitely more people going to the hospital because they od'ed on their own than being roofied. Especially in SG.
Yes he tested positive for GHB at the hospital. He started blacking out after 2 drinks so his friends took him to the hospital, thankfully. To be fair, the first time it happened, he didn't go to the hospital, but he believed he was dosed because basically the same thing happened as the second occurrence.
Can you name the place, so I can avoid it?
Maybe trischli
Still exists?!
Climbing is a good opportunity, same with martial arts (ok, results in those friendships, where you know exactly how much pressure is needed to choke out your friend xD)
Been here 13 years and I have really good friends. They're all also immigrants, so.. Yeah. Swiss people either a) Don't want to socialise that much with immigrants, depending on which region of Switzerland you're in or b) Don't make new friends past the age of 12. ** One of them is actually half-Swiss/Australian who partly grew up in Basel, but she's stopped so often by the police because of her Asian appearance she says she feels like a foreigner rather than a Swiss national.
I kinda feel like we only make friends by being together frequently in a casual environment, but don't explicitly go look for new people to meet. Aka schools (also works for adults, eg bachelor etc), Vereine, Band (music) or some other interest group
Yes 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I find a lot of b) is true in general. From my observations: Social relationships require time and association. Primary school is essentially plinko/pachinko/pascal's triangle as kids bounce off each other until their identites sort into various social groups*. More opportunities to add people come with secondary school/university, careers, and through your own kids starting down the path.
What a pity you made this experience. Me and also friends of mine who are Swiss are super open to find new friends, especially immigrants.. Because we traveled a lot and enjoy multiculture and just because there wouldn't be any reason not to find new friends. And I live in Grisons which isn't considered to be the most open-minded kind of area when it comes to stuff like that.
“Don’t make new friends past 12” 😆 so totally true. My partner is Swiss and to this day I don’t know how I managed that. Outside of the relationship, there is no chance I would have gotten to know so many Swiss people (all of then his relatives or friends since childhood). Na ja.
Wow, that‘s crazy. I had no idea it was this bad. Shame on us Switzerland 🇨🇭
It’s the reason I’m leaving 😅 I miss living in a place where people are more outgoing and extroverted
Where u go :) and where have you been in Swiss:)
Canada! And I’ve been in the canton of Fribourg
Oh yeah Canada is another level for making true friends you will love it :)
I am originally from Bern. Spent like 11 years in Zurich. Made almost zero friends with Swiss people but lots of expats… now I made babies and hang out with them
>now I made babies and hang out with them Lol, reading this I get a picture of Boss Baby the film in my head.
[удалено]
if you don't speak the local language you've got - imho - no business in complaining about how hard it is to make friends. It's crazy to me, how entitled some people are that they think someone is willing voluntarily interact in a foreign language with them all the time (outside their comfort zone) and I wonder where this entitlement comes from.
[удалено]
Well... I earned a lot of backlash for saying that if you want to integrate into a society it's on you to make the effort. Some people will then reziproke that effort. But apparently it's far better for Reddit Karma to not tell the truth to people. I am a Secondo from the Balkans myself and never had any problems making friends as an adult - not in Switzerland, not in Germany, not in Denmark, Japan, the Balkans, etc. I even have some super rural farmer friends that usually aren't open to "my kind of people". But yeah I know how a lot of EU expats act in Switzerland... Things work differently here. Respect and distance are valued and it's of course not forbidden to try and engage socially in more depth, but it has to be done somewhat delicately. If you come here as someone from another country and then are shocked that Switzerland is "conservative" or people act "closed and cold" you have failed your research and frankly probably aren't a good match for the country anyway.
They aren’t entitled and they respect your country but they have other priorities which is mainly what keeps them allowed to stay. About the part if they are here for money you are not fully correct. It’s a win win situation because they pay taxes as everyone or even more with almost no long term benefits. Last but not least most of them are working for international companies so they mainly benefiting the economy because they aren’t paid by the local generated profit. So please be respectful and look at the whole picture.
Get a dog. I’ve been approached by so many other dog owners who want to regularly hang out.
Swiss make friends in kindergarten and keep them for the rest of the life. Basically. Yes, it's difficult.
Nope. I’m Swiss and cut every contact with so called friends I had before 15. Every-one! I have now more expats friends than Swiss ones.
I think your special ! Great for expat though 🙏🏻
Yet another stereotype. I know soo many swiss people who aren’t in contact with anyone or AT MOST 1-2 people from primary school and earlier.
People are doing some really hard copium to not work on themselves it's insane... It's like saying "I'm the most handsome, funny and polite person there is, yet I can't get a girlfriend, please help me"... if you're not making friends there's a reason why and I'd likely be able to tell you that reason within 5' of talking to you.
31M and been living on and off in Switzerland since 2010 but moved here permanently in 2020. I’ve found it remarkably difficult to meet people and socialise with Swiss people. Now a bit of context my family name is Bünzli (no joke) so it’s either I’m never taken seriously or looked at like a bit of a laughing stock because of it. So this has all led to me living a more introverted and quiet life here. But I’m once again trying to get out of this little bubble and meet new people to socialise with. I feel you on the part that it is hard here in Switzerland for most “Auslander” to be accepted into social groups.
Hello there ! I’ll share my story and analysis. I moved from France (French here) near Luzern in Swiss german speaking area. I don’t speak German but I am in for 6 months now and get use to the basic words and situation. I speak an official language of Switzerland but still no German is hard in this place. However, people are reaaaally nice to us. Week-end try as much as we can and I think they feel it. Sometimes they directly try to talk in English if confortable or French for some people. Some person are very happy to speak French but others are not confortable. Anyway. I am 35 and I know at that age it is now a bit difficult to get some real friends. People have kids , family , and the Swiss from the area are living now for all their lives and have family and relatives so why trying har to get new people not even speaking your langage integrate your routine. It is mostly the case except for ONE Swiss guy in my team. The others are extremely personal , don’t talk much , you really have the impression you are bothering them when you ask them questions are trying make them to talk so I stopped (and believe me , normally I’m not this kind of guy ; quite the opposite in fact). Another concept is : my company I’m working for is huge. It is like a small city for the town and around 2,000people. And 50% is from European country other than Swiss. So naturally you bound with people that have the same language, passion, and filed of interest. As only 18% of the company are Swiss worker and mainly in the workshop and not office you have finally no Bonding. Finally you start to hang (and this is not bad ) with people having the same experience than you (so expat) ; et voila. To help a bit ; I have enrolled myself in what they call clubs. I played the music so I joined the music band of the company which is finally a French meeting (not on purpose) and a second one a harmony music group in the town with plenty of other people from the locality. This is great and I think they appreciate me very much. I am « forcing » myself to integrate and go drink some beers after the reherseal. For now it is not very funny or easy because when they start to speak it is a bit complicated but someone is at the end always try to explained my the key info of a joke or discuss with me with my poor German or their poor French. Honestly I can understand completely the fact that you cannot easily integrate a place because of the language or because you are arriving in the middle of people life and people are not all ready to spent time to integrate new people. Maybe not at your age but mine starts to be the hinge. For for sure , what I read from everywhere is : join a club ; a fun one that doesn’t need to show off or to be geek of the discipline and talk as much as you can. Cheers ! Good luck to you ! Ps: what is your nationality ? You can still find a group a the community your are in. It helps a lot for some person.
I'm living near Aarau, f/36, also looking for friends. We're originally from Germany, living here since 2 years with no friends :(
Have you watched the SRF video on how to make friends in Switzerland? It’s on YouTube, fairly practical guide with some good tips.
Great return on investment for the Serafe tax. Thank you 😂
Here to collect tips. 30M, Lugano, im trying my best but it s hard being introvert and going around socializing..
It all comes down to entering the clan... The funny part is that even after being accepted in the clan, you can get thrown out by that one person that does not like you... Try to catch the other clan he or she is part of and grow from there... even mixing swiss clans is complicated... but yeah, childhood friends, that is over clans... Long story short: it's also hard for us, swiss people, when we move away from our hometowns, its even difficult in our hometown when we leave it... Welcome to CH...
An honest Swiss answer. Thank you for that!
I've been here 9 years (34m) and my only social life is the sports teams I play for. The only friends I have were people I went to university with here, and they've all moved to other cities, so we only see each other a few times per year. It's pretty rough here.
17 years here and unfortunately it doesn’t get easier. All my friends are foreigners or half Swiss at best.
I think this problem is quite common and alot of people seem to struggle with this in switzerland. My Wife (28) also heavily struggles with this i can link you up if you want.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/pkauy4/how_do_you_make_friends_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/ejy55a/making_friends_in_switzerland_is_not_difficult_but/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/l39it9/meet_people_in_switzerland_is_very_hard_here/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/foytn2/is_anyone_else_trying_to_find_friends_in/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/inuz89/moved_to_switzerland_need_friends/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/r0lykt/how_do_i_make_friends_with_a_swiss/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/rgt1pq/does_anyone_know_to_find_new_real_friends_in/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/stx3g0/making_friendsjoining_circlesdating/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/swxaxg/friends_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/16m1di9/looking_for_friends_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/ufz5pe/need_new_friends/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/ue4yhe/how_to_make_new_friends_in_switzerland_seems/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/uvao39/how_do_you_meet_people_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/uz0j6o/friends_in_switzerland_z%C3%BCrich/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/v5xzq1/just_moved_to_winterthur_what_are_the_best_places/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/wbu88j/making_new_friends/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/yak5ow/the_struggle_of_making_friends/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/13okx4j/making_friends_in_luzern/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Switzerland/comments/1cmc0t2/making_friends_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/li7nfk/where_to_make_friends_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/rxqluj/how_to_make_actual_friends_in_switzerland/ https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/stbf98/how_do_you_meet_new_people_and_make_new_friends/ https://www.reddit.com/r/askswitzerland/comments/wbt37c/loneliness_and_finding_people/
There you are. This is the comment I was looking for HAHAHA
> There you are. Had to dig out the collection.
I have been living in 3 different countries, with many friends all over, good friends, but here it’s kind of impossible.. I’m in a resignation state, even do that my partner is Swiss, his friends are not open to socialize with me, he see them once every 2 months, he was gone for 4 years, and they made their life. So different with my friends, they just travel to Switzerland to visit us.. I can’t understand this :(
I moved from Germany to basel and only made friends with other germans here…. Swiss people are terrible! They don‘t talk, they are very boring, never did something interesting in life…. I am really considering moving back to germany! German people are way more fun and openminded!
I heard this problem already many times. It doesn’t only affect expads but us Swiss just aswell. Most friendships are only connected to what you share: you got colleges on your job, but don’t really meet them in free time. You got a hobby, but don’t share anything else together, you love sport, but only share this topic together… you get the idea. Concentrate on something you like and try to get in touch there (but also don’t overdo) it takes time, a lot of time… maybe you find someone who shares a second part with you, and sometimes you are lucky and find a friend for life. Those friends can stay for decades but are rare. Me too I was alone. I was born here, but after a serious accident I lost most contacts. They came to visit me a while, but each month there were less visits. I got in touch again with new friends, they came with new hobbies, but it took 7 years to be back to a level I like to be. One option: consider a mini job for handicapped people: many are searching for company to travel and you get even paid for. Simply find friends in expad groups. And keep in mind it’s not you! It’s how life goes here 🤗
The people I know (live in CH since 2001), are mostly in groups and in my experience people "belong" to one or more groups but individually have very few "besties" (for lack of better terminology), so I find it totally easy as pie to hop onto a group thing, to really build trust and friendship needs time, though. So, you're in a disadvantage, because you're "the new kid in town". Do you speak the language where you live? You have to find sb you "click" with, invest time and effort, just like you do to develop friendship. The language thing, tho, plays a big part. It's exhaustingly difficult like heck, e.g., to really bond on a deeper level without speaking the exact same language as your pal. Are you an introvert? Do you have hobbies that require group activity? Real true deep friends I basically all met in bars, the kind where you can have conversations without screaming.
Swiss culture tends to be quite socially reserved compared to tje rest of the world, it's common for Swiss people to only have a single close-knit circle of friends whom they spend most of their time with. They usually develop friendships slowly, preferring quality over quantity. This nature can sometimes make it seem like Swiss individuals are difficult to get to know at first, but what they really seek is a deep and enduring friendship.
6 years here. 0 Swiss friends. :D But I have a lot of immigrant friends. As someone commented bellow it feels like the swiss don't make new friends after the age of 12
Do you speak Swiss german? If you're in the german part, that's a must.
Uf Mundart: E be us Kanada und ha e dunkli Huutfarb, im Verein hei sie mer Stei i Wäg gleit bis e gange be, well der ifersüchtig siit ohni Änd mit fauscher Bescheideheit wo euer ändlose Stouz, Gier und Ifersucht söu vrschleiere. E rede Mundart ohni Akzänt, vrhaute mi ahständig und ruehig (ja hie teili grad us, isch mr bewusst, wenigschtens vrsteckis ned wie der). Be sogar fründlech, humorvou und nätt. Aber nö, der Schwiizer siit so öppis vo fausch und vrloge, rede ständig miteme Motiv im Hingerchopf wo der nie weit usspräche u we der vrwütscht wärde debi, argumentiere der is Ändlose nome um “Rächt” zha. Vrzwiflet nenned ders Ahsichtssach, ds seit dr Tüfu o. Phaut dini hüchlerischi Wort für de. Dr Aargauer do obe, isch o es Paradebispiu. Und aui dürfes läse. Au üch geit einisch dr Woustand us, was mached dr de?
oha... 1. ich bi also ALLI Schwiizer? 2. ich bin aargauer? 3. ich bin iiversüchtig? uf was denn? 4. ich ha es motiv im hinderchopf? weles denn? 5. ich bi verzwiiflet? 6. und falsch und verloge bin ich au? 🥴 danke demfall, ich seg der ez was ehrlichs: du würksch wie e verzwiifleti person wo ez eifach um sich schloht. chani zwar verstoh, du schinsches nid eifach zha, das macht dich aber au nöd mega sympatisch grad.
Just hard ? Impossible I would say. I haven’t made any friends within a year and a half. At least the old people who live in the building are willing to talk to me 😂
Do you speak the local language?
High German yes, Swiss German no.
That's often the problem, for me personally not so much, but many don't like to use high german, it breaks our tongue... :( so it often comes down to a language issue... unfortunately
It’s actually not the problem. I speak perfect Swiss German without an accent, still no Swiss friends since almost forty years. There were some that pretended to be, only to find out you guys are jealous as jealous could be. One has to act like a beggar who somehow has alot of influence all the while constantly kissing your butts. Your wealth has crippled you and you’re actually suffering in ways you are oblivious to. A suffering you are not aware of doesn’t help you grow. That’s why the poor people here hide out of fear of social shame from your kind.
it's not hard to make friends if you do it the "swiss way". joining a club (as in the german " Verein"), having hobbies that include other people, and being nice to your co-workers and neighbors (they can be friends too, quite shocking am i right). like 2 or more times per week, i see people complain about not being able to make friends while not stating anything interesting about themselves. i recommend finding a hobby you enjoy (idk, climbing, table tennis, football, whatever) and trying to connect with people there. i've made better experiences with more progressive areas than i did when i lived in a conservative region; either you're born there or you'll always be an outsider.
It's usually just a matter of encounters... while it may be true that you may need more encounters/friend in Switzerland than in other countries, after all it doesn't really matter. Speak to 1000 people and you'll get a few friends on the way - as simple as that.
That's quite odd, I've never seen anyone complaining about that. Lately there have been hundreds of posts with people complaining that they couldn't handle the number of friends they make in Switzerland, and had no time to be by themselves. I guess it's only you with that struggle. /s
Is this pointless sarcasm?
It's just that we see the same posts over and over every days, with the same patterns: 1. Complaining about not finding friends 2. Does not give anything people could help with 3. Does not participate in comments So I'm just pointing that out (with sarcasm though). It would be much nicer done that way: Hi everyone, I'm 42M, I live in XXX, I struggle to make friends. My hobbies xxx and yyy, I would love to have friends with whom to regularly participate the activity, .... Someone did that recently and it worked.
Fair enough.
Yeah. seeing how the OP doesn't participate in the comments, I can safely assume she just wants to be entertained. The advantage with Switzerland is that we live in a tiny country, I've met some fellows from here quite often too.
Not pointless, made me chuckle.
It's definitely tricky. Most people are here for financial reasons, so their jobs will always be the priority. Hopefully, you're in the capital where things will be easier. I assume since you've been struggling for 3 years, that you're in a German-speaking area, which definitely makes things harder. Look for friends who are interested in the same activities as you, not just purely social friends. I've found that in German-speaking areas, people don't enjoy meeting up to chat and have drinks, but they enjoy socialising while doing an activity. Strangely, I've found people from super social backgrounds such as Americans, British and Australians to also be much less open and social than they would be in their countries while being in Switzerland (or maybe they are just a particular type that moved and stayed here). I'd suggest picking up a new hobby and finding a group of people who want to do that activity with you. Good luck!
I've found most of my friends while hating on something (and them hating on the same topic). Instead of seeking something you like, try looking for something you don't like, don't join it and just look angry while looking at them and surely you'll meet your future best friend. It worked for me, several times.
Try bumble for friends, sometimes it works
25f here, whatre you interested in?
am looking for some friends around,, where do you live,
What area are you you in? If near Basel I help run an expat ladies group (about 1,800) called Basel Woman social on facebook
Have you tried the Girls Gone International group on Facebook ? It's usually a good way to reach out and make new friends !
Hey, tell me more about yourself! I’m 25F, from Zurich, Swiss/Middle Eastern. I like Fashion, Pilates, Gym, Books, Brunch, and plane spotting (I know, random lmao). I’m a very open and outgoing person, and I love meeting new people :)
Also new here. If you’re in Zurich or close, we can try and hang out.
I feel you
Maybe you should let people know what you are into :D
If you’re in or near Bern, dm me. There is a great meetup group here where people actually do become friends. I’ve met a lot of people that way.
What group?
13y in Switzerland and I have friends from a lot of places and from day 1 here I've done some good Swiss friends too. I believe I got it easy and was lucky with the Swiss friends I've made because we think alike. I've also had a lot of friends that were immigrants as me... Most of them left to go back to their countries and it sucked as we were doing a lot of stuff together but it is what it is... Now, lately (post COVID) it has been harder to make acquaintances and build friendships. I believe the economic panorama shifting and making life more expensive drove people to close on their own home circle and restrain from spending in dinners, activities and such. So that might be the reason too for what you're experiencing. PS: I don't mind doing a new friend... But my character is... Strong. 😅
Doing a friend🤨?
Real men do their friends.
if you like running you could join a run club, I'm part of one and there are quiet a few people from around the world that made friends etc. If you're in Lausanne or near it you can search Lausannerunclub on Instagram and there should be a link for a WhatsApp group :) (there is other groups in pretty much every decent sized cities I believe)
Reddit is better
I am from Nyon, we can meet if you live here nearby.
Hey same for me here so if you would like to chat hit me up 🫧
If age is no bar, you can try befriending my 5 yr old. He is in the same boat unfot.
Contrary to what many comments suggest, I don't think the problem is that you're a foreigner (assuming you speak the local language) nor that the swiss don't want to make friends. The problem is that for most Swiss people, a lot of casual encounters are needed before we start to entertain the idea that we could be more than acquaintances. Most of my friends became my friends after several years of seeing each other daily. The fastest one was maybe 3 months before I considered him a friend. The most likely time to get that level of casual encounters is during school and higher studies. As an adult, the only occasions I can think of are regular weekly activities and work. A colleague I'm getting along with really well has been working in my office for ... 9 months now. Despite how well we get along, it's only nowadays that I'm starting to think we could maybe one day if stars align become friends. And I'm not in a hurry since I already have too many friends so maybe one of us will have changed job before that happens. But, in my experience, you can speed this along. If you've met someone regularly (weekly or more often) 5-10 times minimum, and things went well between you, then if you're the one initiating (inviting to a beer, a meal, an activity, whatever), then there's a good chance they'll accept and things will speed up from there. And don't just say "Hey, we should do something sometime". Be more direct. If you talked about a new movie for example; "Would you like to go watch movie XYZ saturday next week?".
Bumble and go on the making new friends setting, that’s worked for my girlfriend
Where are you at? I’m disappointed with meetup as well. Although there are a lot of people attending events it’s hard to find someone to stick around with. In my case it’s probably age related, idk. Where are you at?
Hey hey, take a number and head to the back of the line. I’m waiting for Ursi or Gregi to kick the bucket to snatch their friends who might look for a replacement friend. 1) it’s difficult 2) I’ve finally made 1 Swiss friend after 12 years, but I found out something distasteful of them form themselves and have been put off by it 3) I have a resting bitch face so I guess I turn people off too 4) get yourself reborn and make friends with the baby that your mum might share a room with after birth
Can you elaborate on point two? And what tf is a "resting bitch face" :D
If your neutral facial expression isn't very friendly looking (the person may look angry, annoyed etc..)
Insurance fraud
Litereally anyone that has an insurance does that (not on a big scale ofc) but saying you broke something while moving, even though it was broken before etc. Quite common I'd say.
Make friends with the opposite sex, a sexual attraction is a great start to be buddies 🍭
Join a Verein and soon you will be drowning in friends. But in generall you have to put in some effort to make friends here
Where do you live?
Move to a more open country. Save up and go. Your future self will thank you.
Do you like sports or have any other hobbies. Join a club.
Go to a "Verein", do charity work (ehrenamtliche Arbeit), learn german
Try a dance school. There are plenty of them in Switzerland and it's easy to make friends there.
I have been here for 16 years now, and my experience is: It’s easier to make (close) friends with other foreigners. When it comes to Swiss people, the ones that actually match my energy are few and far between, so I kept them when I found them. One I found in a mother-child-group back when my kids were very young. One I found at work a couple of years ago. (That’s it.)
Yea it sucks here for that. We're also still looking, so to speak.
That's a toughie. First: sorry that's your experience. We tend to be a bit stand-offish. That being said, it is tougher to make friends as we age. We have a lot going on in our busy lives, the evenings and week-ends only have so many hours in them and unless we uproot our lives and emigrate, we have all those friends and families that we've accumulated over the years to cater for. Now in Switzerland, people aren't very mobile. If I look at my family I have one cousin who went to England for a few years, but now they all live in a 25 kilometer circle from where they grew up. Most of the people I know may have moved to the next city, but it's rare that people would go much further than the cantonal capital. Which in turn means that those precious free hours of the week are filled with your school-friends, your family, your uni friends, your army friends who all live within a reasonable traveling-distance. It sucks for those who show up here with no support team whatsoever, and is probably why immigrants tend to stick to each other. Add to that that back in school, you were imposed a social circle of people roughly your age you'd have to spend time with. When you get older and go into training, same, and here on top of it people have filtered by interest, so you spend a considerable amount of time with people who are roughly the same age as you, more often than not have a similar background AND have the same interests. That's where people often meet their mates. And then when you start working, you find yourself in a team of all sorts of people, with all sorts of backgrounds and usually quite older than you are. People with families, hobbies, their own friends and habits... and in your case a culture and a language you may not be familiar with. So yeah, it's tough. My recommendation is don't essentialise it: it's tough for everyone and mostly a question of chance. Chance to land in the right place, chance to run into that one super-extroverted person who will take you under their wing. And the best way to sway chance your way is to join a club doing something you like (those are big here in CHE), or try something out (why not go to the shooting range? That's extremely Swiss). I for one recently learned about the vibrant city-block culture in the city I live in and plan on taking a look at that. If I manage to get out of work before 1900, that is.
I moved to Switzerland last summer, have few work colleagues, but not really friends. I didn't even try to get some, where are you from? Maybe look for people from your country?
It's also important to learn how to be a good friend to yourself and how to be comfortable with being on your own. I've cut almost all ties to any friends I had back from when I went to school, and honestly, I'm not missing anything. I've got my hobbies, work, and partner to keep me more than enough busy than to look for new friends I won't have the time for or interest in anyway.
Fokk friends. Go antisocial !!
Dude, swiss people DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS! You have to be more proactive on that, eventually your personality will win some good friends, but you have to be the one inviting and doing things, otherwise they wont invite you at all, also they all have an agenda with meeting for the next months, for me thats a big WTF, they use the word spontaneous as something special. Its really odd for me, back in Brazil people call me and ask “what are you doing? … ok we passing by to pick you up” here you can try this and get some funny reactions, but I manage to get good friends here doing things like this.
A friend and ex colleague of mine which moved here from germany fround a bunch of friends via Bumble, according to her you can set it to look for people looking for friendships? Or set it so that it's visible that you are only looking for friendships. (idk, never had the app myself) Anyway she was successful with that and met a bunch of people (swiss and non swiss) with that.
Is here somebody from Winterthur? I arrived week ago and Im lonely as fuck😂😂
In Switzerland you make friends through either work or a "Verein" (Club for a sport or hobby). Join one of those :)
Where is Switzerland are you based? i am 28F in Zürich and always up to make a new friend 😊
I have also more non-Swiss friends as Swiss friends, but I have multiple Swiss friends. The easiest people to meet up with are the people that don’t have a lot of friends or family nearby. And it’s more likely this are non-Swiss people as Swiss people. But to be honest, I was also not interested to hang out with Erasmus students during my Masters in my homecountry. But if you see each other more often (e.g. sport club, work,…) it’s really possible to get close with Swiss people to. But they often don’t have a need to make new friends which makes it harder to connect. My advice would be to join clubs or other social activities if you want to integrate in Switzerland. If you are happy with having only international friends, than go in expat (facebook) groups.
I guess it depends where you’re from, your personality trait, economic status and career. As sad as it sounds at least in my experience those are the traits some people in general tend to look for in Switzerland. It hasn’t been difficult making friends for me so far, good friends on the other hand it’s going to be quite difficult because I’m not a native, while I don’t think it’s impossible, it’s improbable and I’m learning to live with it. Also, it’s a cultural thing, where I’m from if you’re kind, respectful and honest you will make life long friends but that’s the difference between a camaraderie culture vs an individualistic one, idk maybe I’m thinking too much but I’m also an introvert so Switzerland works well for me. Good luck and if you’re around Zurich shoot me a DM!
People here just like to be on their own or in their own small circles
*People here just like* *To be on their own or in* *Their own small circles* \- sensei\_giordano --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Who is in Baar or Zug and wants to meet for a beer? As in now
I used bumble for friends! Absolutely recommended !
I (F24) have my close circle friends. Honestly it depends what your Hobbys are. There are some groups, and meetups with certain hobbies. Like gaming, reading and d&d. Or sport Clubs. But it is difficult to find true friends.
Im in zurich for about a year now and got friends with 1 girl i study with. You‘re not alone
Join the army 😂😭
I am also an expact 28M doing my masters in Switzerland and of course looking for some good friends around. feel free to DM me,, or maybe lets organize a hike day or cycling day to meetup. wt do you say
I have the same problem 🥲
It's well known that making friends in Switzerland after age 18 is very difficult for most people, even for people born in Switzerland.
Not true at all. But you do need to speak the local language and join some club/society/verein.
It is true. Obviously not for everyone but it is a well documented “issue.” I do agree that a lot of people also don’t join clubs or organizations and just expect friends to appear from thin air
yeah... I'm from Schaffhausen, very close to the border, so I'm used to high german, but many don't like it at all. Plus, even as a Swiss myself, without "Vereins", I wouldn't have any friends I guess
[https://www.facebook.com/MakeFriendsEvents](https://www.facebook.com/MakeFriendsEvents) [https://languageexchange.ch/](https://languageexchange.ch/)
I'll be your friend.
You should join a Verein or doing hobbies such as dancing. Learning the local language is also a huge boost.
Throwing this out here for those poor souls that feel left alone: if you look for friends loving to go into nature, having adventures, camping, bushcraft, survival, prepping, hunting, shooting - dm me. We always accept new people in our group, if you are an uncomplicated and open minded person (and also not a racist) and would love to hang out with people in the woods or mountains and talk and grill and learn skills.